Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafesj

Post to this Thread - Sort Descending - Printer Friendly - Home


BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)

kendall 22 Jun 06 - 06:54 AM
John MacKenzie 22 Jun 06 - 07:34 AM
katlaughing 22 Jun 06 - 09:16 AM
Peace 22 Jun 06 - 09:45 AM
Bunnahabhain 22 Jun 06 - 10:10 AM
Peace 22 Jun 06 - 10:13 AM
GUEST,Mingulay at walk 22 Jun 06 - 10:50 AM
Peace 22 Jun 06 - 10:55 AM
Ebbie 22 Jun 06 - 10:59 AM
John MacKenzie 22 Jun 06 - 12:21 PM
Geoff the Duck 23 Jun 06 - 06:30 AM
Daithi 23 Jun 06 - 07:13 AM
Jim Dixon 22 Jan 09 - 02:41 PM
Jim Dixon 22 Jan 09 - 05:15 PM
JohnInKansas 22 Jan 09 - 09:14 PM
Jim Dixon 23 Jan 09 - 12:11 AM
GUEST 23 Jan 09 - 01:47 AM
Peace 23 Jan 09 - 01:54 AM
bald headed step child 23 Jan 09 - 02:21 AM
Lin in Kansas 23 Jan 09 - 02:22 AM
open mike 23 Jan 09 - 02:25 AM
JohnInKansas 23 Jan 09 - 02:28 AM
Peace 23 Jan 09 - 12:11 PM
Lizzie Cornish 1 24 Jan 09 - 03:50 AM
GUEST, topsie 24 Jan 09 - 05:34 AM
Jeri 24 Jan 09 - 08:53 AM
Gorgeous Gary 24 Jan 09 - 10:30 AM

Share Thread
more
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:





Subject: Add: IMPOTENCE OF OF PROOFREADING (Taylor Mali)
From: kendall
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 06:54 AM

I don't do much cut and paste, but I must share this with those who thin

The the impotence of of proofreading
By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the word's liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.
This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that's all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague,
because I wouldn't be happy at anal community colleague.
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal colleague.
So I needed to improvement
or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey).
So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.
But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can't can't catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
your spell exchequer won't put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because what do you want it to douche?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You're the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargo
one careless clit of the mouth can be.
Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
out loud to all of my assmates.
I'm not joking, I'm totally cereal.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically.
So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.
k spelling is not inportant.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: proof reading
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 07:34 AM

Nice one Cap'n.
Yes even spell checker doesn't get things right, write, rite, riot or even wright.
G..


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: proof reading
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 09:16 AM

LOL!! Thanks, Ken doll...er, Kendall!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: proof reading
From: Peace
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 09:45 AM

Proofreading is one word.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: proof reading
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 10:10 AM

Spall chuckers..... Whore wood we bee within them?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: proof reading
From: Peace
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 10:13 AM

True or words was never spoke.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: proof reading
From: GUEST,Mingulay at walk
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 10:50 AM

These worms shed not be spaken in guest four they have inhibit of byteing the hind that feds him.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: proof reading
From: Peace
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 10:55 AM

Two write.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: proof reading
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 10:59 AM

lol A gteat way to stare my day.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: proof reading
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 12:21 PM

Watt ewe r wonton, is juan of thews knew spoil chicken pograms. My crow's oft makem butt there eggs pensive. I few luke any bay, summertimes their bean soled off, cheep.
Mined yew sum thymes they myth worms, witch arrow K, as worms, butt arnott the worm you menthol.
God look
Jock


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: proof reading
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 06:30 AM

Kedall - was the first posting taken from one of George Bush's speeches? Sure sounds like one.
Quack!
GtD.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: proof reading
From: Daithi
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 07:13 AM

here's a little poem I use in my writing class....

Weave got a knew spell chequer
Right their in hour PC
It marques the plaice four hour revue
Off mist aches that weed knot sea.
Weave past this poem threw it
And yule bee glad two no
That its awl write inn every weigh -
Hour chequer tolled us sew.

English and Students - doncha just love 'em!
Dáithí


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 02:41 PM

There's quite a lot of Taylor Mali's stuff on the 'Net. He has his own YouTube channel as well as his own web site.

Here are some videos:

The Impotence of of Proofreading
Totally like whatever, you know?
What Teachers Make
Reading Allowed
The Miracle Workers
I Could Be a Poet
Like Lilly Like Wilson
Defending American Interests 1850 to 1950
Labeling Keys
On Girls Lending Pens
Where is your favorite place to write?
Voice of America V/O


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 05:15 PM

There is also an article about Taylor Mali at Wikipedia.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 09:14 PM

Just as the Mac likely would not have flourished had not it been closely compatible with Adobe PostScript, making it popular with artists and publishers, Word Perfect might have died in the borning had they not provided a "Legal Spellchecker" for attorneys and their typing pools that did not contain the word "trail" and thus would always flag it as a misspelling.

John


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 12:11 AM

I don't get it. Why would you want "trail" to be flagged as a misspelling?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 01:47 AM

Because the word "trial" is often trnnsposed to "trail." Not a good thing for law briefs!

Lin


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 01:54 AM

Law briefs? Not good for cotton briefs, either!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: bald headed step child
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 02:21 AM

Law briefs, cotton briefs, just make sure there clean be four going two the pubic hearing.

BHSC


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 02:22 AM

Or Spandex, nylon, or any other kind either, Peace!

Kendall, I thoroughly enjoyed your original posting, not least because proofreading is what I do for a living.

And incidentally, the GUEST at 01:47 was me, cookieless.

Lin


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: open mike
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 02:25 AM

i prefer fruit of the loom

holy mary mother of god blessed art thou among
women and blessed is the fruit of the loom jesus


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 02:28 AM

Noting that LiK cleaned her cookies and posted as guest (without chelspecking) -- to continue with the dictionary, "pubic" (public) was another of about a dozen words expunged from the WP dictionary.

In Word, one just uses the Autoreplace function to automatically replace the most embarrassing typos with the word wanted. Since the "spell check as you type" executes before Autoreplace, even if the spellcheck accepts the word, Autoreplace will replace it with the correct one. This allows you to have the word in the dictionary, but have it not appear in places where you don't want it; but you can "unreplace" with a Ctl-Z if you actually do want the questionable word (spelled correctly).

John


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 12:11 PM

"i prefer fruit of the loom"

Be still my beating heart . . . .


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 03:50 AM

I've just found a new hero! :0)

This man is sensational..


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 05:34 AM

Part of the problem is Word programs that take over without asking.
I carefully typed out a document that included some Spanish, making sure I got all the accents right, and sent it off. Then I discovered that my computer had changed all the Spanish words to what IT thought were acceptable English alternatives.

PS I saw on ebay a listing for a picture showing a pubic telephone box.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 08:53 AM

Why do people say 'be still my beating heart'? I mean, if it IS still you can trade the underwear for the undertaker. Dead people don't need no shorts.

I winter how hare it wound be to write a song wish a spool clicker...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The the impotence of of proofreading (Mali)
From: Gorgeous Gary
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 10:30 AM

*laugh*

That's great. I probably even read it when I browsed his website.

I recited "What Teachers Make" at a Getaway once. Totally different mood on that one though.

-- Gary


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate


 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 22 September 8:25 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.