BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Sep 11 - 05:21 PM

"Haven't had any brains in years and years." Oh my. That target is as big as a barn!

Idunno... "Gnu,, you keep asking." I do? I didn't know that. News to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: I don't know
Date: 04 Sep 11 - 05:10 PM

Gnu,, you keep asking. You can let me know when you get the answer because I don't know what I am ment to know which is why I am called I don't know.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 11 - 09:03 PM

Actually, Bee Dub, I've eaten fried brains and they were in a crispy breading. Calves brains, I think they were. Fatty and sort of slimy, as I remember. Haven't had any brains in years and years. Brains. Eat brains...now I remember my heritage....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 03 Sep 11 - 08:13 PM

BWL's last post should be put on the Fish Recipes thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: gnu
Date: 03 Sep 11 - 02:21 PM

No, no, no... they suck yer brains out and make head cheese.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 11 - 11:04 AM

The aliens will not fry your brain with microwaves. They will use the microwaves to heat your brain until it explodes, forcefully ejecting overheated gray matter via any and all available orifices. That's not the same as frying. If it were possible to actually fry your brain, it would be encased in a delicious, crispy, golden-brown coating and wouldn't come blasting out your ears in a gooey, bloody mess.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 11 - 02:36 PM

I know, but I can't tell you because if I do the Black Helicopters will come and take away my aluminum foil hat and then the aliens will fry my brain with microwaves.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: gnu
Date: 02 Sep 11 - 02:09 PM

KB... "I keep asking people what IDK means but nobody knows."

I don't know either.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Sep 11 - 11:19 AM

A double post

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Sep 11 - 11:16 AM

How about this?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Sep 11 - 11:03 AM

Here's what looks to be a thousand or so posts.

If everybody else would simply follow my example and post lots of posts at the same time, we'd have this 85 billion thing knocked out in just a couple hundred years.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Sep 11 - 10:40 AM

I keep asking people what IDK means but nobody knows.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 11 - 10:41 PM

Oh, s**t.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Sep 11 - 11:30 AM

But according to LH the Greys cloned him twice. If true then there is another...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 11 - 09:55 AM

I have the distinction of announcing the probable death of Shame McBride.

When I went into the OPP station house to present my license to shoot him and to find his present whereabouts the desk sergeant, one Shamus Blovotnik, said, "Sure, and why don't you just let me handle it for you? I'm after shooting the lad for years just to tidy up the town, you know."

So, I gave him the machine pistol and some extra magazines of ammunition and off he went.

He returned about thirty minutes later, smiling, and said, "Ah, lad, thanks to you I've never had so much fun doing a service for the dirty auld town. I found him in his lair, the dumpster behind Tim's, and before he could move his mountain of fat the deed was done. Thank you for assistin' us in cleanin' up Blind River, and you'll be after gettin' a cert of appreciation from the Lord Mayor, me bucko!"

So I took the MP-9 and went home, a job well done, I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Aug 11 - 09:06 PM

Yeah, it's always funny until someone gets hurt,










then it's hilarious.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 11 - 09:00 PM

I shot the Shame
But I didn't shoot the deputies
(They all stood around and cheered).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: gnu
Date: 31 Aug 11 - 07:13 PM

Don't fergit to wake me up fer that eh? Oh yah, oh yah...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Aug 11 - 06:49 PM

Max says he plans on this forum continuing indefinately....so if memory capcity keeps doubling every few years, aliens from NGC2153 may hit 85 billion when they dig thru our residue.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 31 Aug 11 - 06:14 PM

At this rate, we will reach the 85 billionth post about 2.317 million years after our sun novas. UNLESS we use the British billion (which I think is 100 millions and not 1000 millions). If we do, we just might make it. I ain't gonna do the math on that. Just trust me on this one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: I don't know
Date: 31 Aug 11 - 07:39 AM

Thought I would refresh this thread as only 3074 postings so far, have all the 'catters' posted at least once? If not they should.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 08:46 PM

Good news! Shane died recently, allright, but the Greys cloned him (twice), and he now walks among us yet again!

ON TO 85 BILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 04:41 PM

I enjoyed this thread, sometime ago. Welcome back.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Nov 10 - 04:32 PM

Seems BS is on the back foot and ripe for the taking. All we need to do is keep religion free and the posts will rocket.


livre conversação da religião somente

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: I don't know
Date: 24 Aug 10 - 03:54 AM

Crazy!! but maybe if we all keep trying when we come back in the afterlife some will say "look what those 21st century catters achieved, can't had anything better to do". Well I'm of to fetch some milk for morning coffee..byby.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 10 - 11:32 PM

Oddly enough, Shane seems to have died again...if we can believe recent reports. If so, this thread's purpose has been destroyed along with its maker, and it will never reach 85 billion posts.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 09 - 08:41 PM

One COULD say that the Irish Setter gave Shame his re-birth....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 09 - 01:15 PM

Well, he DID fall into a ditch of sorts....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Nov 09 - 12:58 PM

Gun? I know Rapaire do luv him some guns.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 09 - 11:55 AM

Son of a....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Nov 09 - 11:37 AM

So that would make him a ...?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 07:25 PM

And to this very day, Shame McBride lives and, because she was the first thing he saw after the cesspool incident, he believes his mother is an Irish Setter.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Jo King
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 05:34 PM

HA HA HA!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 09 - 11:31 AM

Unfortunately not. He was pulled from the ancient cesspool into which he'd drunkenly stumbled and revived by an Irish Setter licking him. There were humans around at the time, debating mouth-to-mouth, but they had decided against it. Unlike most humans, Irish Setters don't have better sense.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Apr 09 - 10:59 AM

I thought Shane was dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 09 - 08:36 AM

I knew Shame wouldn't respond to my post. He's too busy trying to figure out if he's been insulted or not.

SHAME!!!
You've been insulted!!

There. My good deed for the day.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 09 - 11:07 AM

Ah, Shame, since you don't know your anal verge from your medial and lateral epicondyles you could hurt or even fracture your phalanges. In fact, you could possibly get your talus caught behind your uvula and THAT would require surgery to remove -- almost certainly a bi-lateral orchiectomy. In fact, that might be something you'd want to have done anyway, just to be safe. For you that would be like having your tonsils out or your toenails clipped -- a very minor procedure removing parts you can't and don't use anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 26 Apr 09 - 01:44 AM

Yeah? WEll you are gonna have a hard flippin' time to ignor the real hard kick in the ass that I give to, like, YOU one of these days, eh? And you know waht? You do not hafta thank me for it afters cos I would do it for free any time.

I been in moarnin' becoz it turnt out that you did not get shot by the flippin' firing skwad like you was sapposed to. What a flippin' DIS apointment that was! I bet yer whole flippin' state of Idahoe is really bummed out that you are still arownd. I know I am, eh? That is why I am saving my best kick fer YOU, bolthole!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 09 - 05:21 PM

I try to ignore the present, although I will always send a thank-you note.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Apr 09 - 04:58 PM

I try to live in the present.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 09 - 04:02 PM

That's why you're always either early or late.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Apr 09 - 02:47 PM

I don't wear a watch, Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 10 Apr 09 - 11:21 AM

This thread should flush Little Hawk out. He just can't resist it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 02:40 PM

Pretty stupid watch, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 12:43 PM

What does your watch say?

It doesn't say anything, I have to look at it and figure it out myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 03:13 PM

He lives, He lives. The thread is rejuvenated. The time is now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 01:33 PM

What does your watch say?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 01:26 PM

What time is it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 07:51 PM

Well, here's a cut'n'paste from MOAB in which I have determined that Shame McBride is NOT dead. It is in response to a post by Don McBride:

Well Don, it's like this, and I got this straight from the horse's end, if you take my meaning.

My wife and I were driving the rental car back, gonna fly outa Dublin Airport, this past Friday morning. We had to top off the tank, so we pulling into a petrol station in Coolquoy, County Dublin -- I don't remember the brand, but it was one of the two stations along the R135 so it shouldn't be too hard to find.

I paid and when I came out there was a Garda (i.e., cop) there. He asked if I was Canadian and I said no, I was from the US. "Close enough at this distance," says he, "we need your help."

So I followed him around to the back of the station and there were four Gardai (copS) holding the scummiest looking human being it's been my misfortune to see in a very, very long time and I've seen some scummy ones, let me tell you.

A Sergeant came up and said, "Do you think, Sir, you could translate what this...personl...is saying? We think he wants to flip boltholes, but sure, it's hard to tell."

What the pitiable excuse for a human being was saying was very much like "Lissen you flippin' boltholes! Some Sudbury skanks tricked me and hit me on the head and when I flippin' woke up I was in a crate with a two-four of flippin BLUE and dozen day-old Tim's and it was flippin' COLD and I was goin' somewhere! So I figgered out I was in an airplane and would be rescued when I got to where ever I was goin' and then I'd hitch back from Toronto or Ottawa or where ever the flip I was and fix them flippin' bolthole skanks. Only when I woke up it was quiet and I could tell I wasn't in the flippin' airplane anymore, so I broke out of the crate and when I got outside I saw I WASN'T IN FLIPPIN' CANADA! I was so flippin' mad I screamed, which made somebody yell at me and I told them what a flippin' bolthole they were and when he came out he was like a flippin' TRUCK! So I ran. Finally I smelled (and I didn't FLIPPIN' BELIEVE IT!) what was Tim's coffee AND donuts! In where ever the flip I am! Next thing I know these four flippin' boltholes are draggin' me back through the window! I think they're cops and I'm Shane McBride of Blind River, Ontario, CANADA!"

I looked him over, such as there was to look at, and asked him quietly, "Do you know Rapaire?"

He broke into a long, not very creative, string of curses until one of the Gardai told him to "shut the feck up." I turned to the Sergeant and said, "Sergeant, I think this is Shane McBride of Blind River, Ontario. You'll have to check with the Canadian Embassy, but if it is the McBride person....

"Well, Sergeant, Shane McBride is probably the worst person in all of Ireland's long history. He betrayed Robert Emmett to the Brits, pointed out where Roger Casement was hiding in that tennis court, poisoned Theobald Wolfe Tone, sold out Owen Roe, blew out the lights on Banna Strand, informed on the Bold Fenian Men, laughed and coughed all over Pearse as he read The Declaration in front of the GPO, loaded the rifles that shot James Connolly, and gave Cromwell directions to both Armagh and Kilkenny. He got worse as he grew older."

"Right, Sir! Thank you!" said the Sergeant. Then he took out a truncheon and said to The Pitiable Excuse, "Come along, me bucko. We've got a right nice place fer yez."

I went back into the station, bought a dozen of Tim Horton's donuts which I gave to the Gardai, and then I got in the car and we left.

Just doing my bit to help law enforcement, Don.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 06:04 PM

Nenhuma rendição

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 05:48 PM

Here's a picture of the late Shame as a baby. He needs no further explanation.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 TRILLION posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 04:48 PM

There. I fixed it.

The late, unlamented Shame never what much of a thinker, except for beer and women and he could only fulfill his thinking for the beer and then only if it belonged to someone else.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 08:41 AM

With all the money governments around the world are dishing out to bail out banks, 85 billion doesn't seem such a large amount as it used to. One positive from the credit crunch I suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 10:30 AM

80 million. I want to continue to be older and infinitely wiser.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 04:11 PM

And it all commences from the start again... ;-)

I'll see you in about 88 million years, you scoundrel!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 03:50 PM

Yeah? Well, I'll raise you eensy-weensy point with a Big Bang!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 01:37 PM

Oh, indeed? Well, I'll see your Black Hole and raise you a Systemic and Complete Collapse of the entire Universe into a single immeasureably tiny point of timeless nothingness!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 01:32 PM

Not QUITE yet...I have a Black Hole waiting.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 01:31 PM

I think we are rapidly approaching the point of overkill here...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 09:43 AM

Mark V torpedo.

Take your pick: Fat Boy or Little Boy. Yeah, they're nothing special, being the 20KT range, but what the hey, ya know?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 12:07 AM

I'll see THAT and raise you a 16" gun 50,000 ton battleship that can do 30 knots without even straining itself...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 12:03 AM

Only 84,999,996,966 posts to go! Yes we can! Yes we can!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 11:55 PM

I'll see THAT and raise you a 175mm Paladin Self-Propelled gun....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 09:17 PM

I'll see your .303 and raise it by a 37mm 50 caliber armour-piercing cannon.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 09:10 PM

Just think: at 03:30 I snagged post number 3030. This, obviously, Means Something.

Perhaps it means I should purchase another .30-30. Or a .303. Or something.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 03:30 PM

Hey, they didn't need a microscope to find it, anyway. Just a very powerful magnifying glass.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 02:54 PM

Oh, you're getting really mean now. Nasty. Yer throwin' down the gloves, man!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 11:09 AM

Yeah, I understand that it was found to be nearly non-existent.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 10:43 AM

Hit him in the groin and he doubles over and yells "OWWWWAUGHHHHH! FLIP ME!"

I got to thinking. Seems to me that if you hit him in the groin you should get the top prize since the target area is so small.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 09:02 AM

The other thing is the requirement that you eat what you shoot...and you have to then ask yourself, "Do I clean up the puke on my shirt now or after I throw up again?"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 07:16 PM

There are a lot of Doofus's in Blind River, but it's a small place. Therefore they can be said to be rare, I suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 07:05 PM

Because otherwise you need Hunting License to hunt the reasonably scarce Blind River Doofuss.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 04:36 PM

If he's alive, all the more reason to shoot at effigies of him

Why just at effigies?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 04:30 PM

Furthermore, it doesn't hang on whether he's alive or dead. If he's alive, all the more reason to shoot at effigies of him. If he's dead, then do it in memoriam. Either way..."it's all good". ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 03:36 PM

I should do the same here. If I can sell it as an economic stimulus sort of thing I might be able to get millions. Rebuilding the arcade game infrastructure. It could blossom into a travelling franchise, county fairs all over this great land could have 'Shoot the Shane' booths.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 01:40 PM

It's such a great idea that I'm going to apply for a government grant and see if I can get the first one set up in Orillia.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 09:03 AM

Knock the beer out of his hand and he says, "FLIP YOU!"

What a great idea: The Shame McBride Memorial Shooting Gallery.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 05:52 PM

It's a great idea. Hit him in the face and win an autographed photo of Shania Twain. Hit him in the groin and he doubles over and yells "OWWWWAUGHHHHH! FLIP ME!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 03:19 PM

I can see it now. One of those old shooting galleries only instead of rows of metal ducks it would have rows of metal Shane's to shoot at. Step right up and win a prize for the little lady (or gent as the case may be). More fun than trying to hit a fuzzy clown with a lopsided baseball.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 03:08 PM

If you'da practiced more you could have got him with every shot.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 03:06 PM

Sorry I missed the New Years party. Couldn't have been much of a bash now that Shane is dead. I shore do miss him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 02:19 PM

We were in touch by phone. I called up to see how he's doing. He says "things ain't never been better", which I take to mean that he is not in jail (obviously), there's beer in the fridge, and probably some leftover pizza as well. Paradise, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 09:04 AM

Did you get that message from Shame via ouija board or by automatic writing? Or did he just stumble drunkenly into your bedroom last night and give it to you? I suspect the last, since a foul odor is one of the signs of a haunting and the late Shame McBride was the ultimate in foul odors.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 09 - 11:26 PM

He says that if you were buried with yours open, Rapaire, no one would even care "cos yer flippin' equipment don't work no more anyways"! I was told to give you that message personally...straight from the moose's lips, as the saying goes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 09 - 11:18 PM

Was he buried with his fly open, just in case?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 09 - 10:55 PM

The question always is "Should I zip my fly now...or should I wait?" Every North Ontario lad asks himself that after having taken a quick whizz against a wall or a snowbank, because you never know when a willing woman might suddenly appear out of nowhere, and time is of the absolute essence when she does! A woman who is seeminly willing at the stroke of midnight may no longer be willing by a half a minute after midnight. They can change their flippin' minds in a second, y' know, and they often do. That is why Shane sometimes leaves his fly unzipped for lengthy periods of time...except when it gets TOO FLIPPIN' COLD OUTSIDE! ...which it has been just lately.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 09 - 09:37 PM

Too bad Shame won't be here to see them. If only he hadn't slipped on the edge of that cesspool! But we do have his Last Words of "Mmm! Mmm! Good!" to inspire and guide us.

We shall meet, but we won't miss him
There will be one vacant share
We wouldn't think we should caress him
And Old Shame will not be there.

When a year ago we gathered
Beer was in in his blood-shot eyes
He'd been sick all o'er his shirt front
And he'd still not zipped his fly.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 09 - 03:51 PM

We've reached 3,000. That tells you that we are destined for great things.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Jan 09 - 03:15 PM

Happy New Year. 1st thread of 2009. Hope you all had a good Christmas. I have a feeling this will be a monumental year for the thread. What say you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 10:26 PM

Hey, I never admitted to being organized, mentally or otherwise.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 07:05 PM

Downright confoosin.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 06:19 PM

No, the real Rapaire created you and everything else. You and everything else is a figment of Rapaire's mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 05:58 PM

Yeah? I'm beginning to think you're the impostor, because I know that the real Rapaire admires Shane and thinks the world of him and wishes to be just like Shane when he grows up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 05:54 PM

3000 was captured by an imposter. Shame McBride is no longer with us.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 05:14 PM

Well done Shane, the big 3000! Welcome home Ebbie. How about we have a thread reunion of all the first year posters and try to get to 4000 by New Year? It can be done.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 03:16 PM

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3000!!!!!!!!!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 03:02 PM

So it's not if, but when Shame is toilet trained? Don't you think that Depends?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 02:05 PM

Poor Shane. Does he know - or care - how people talk about him?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 10:46 AM

It just occurred to me that Shane should have titled this thread "WHEN will this thread reach 85 billion posts?", not "Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?" To ask the latter question indicates doubt. If you're going to embark on such a noble enterprise, there should be no doubt whatsoever of achieving the objective.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 10:36 AM

So he's not toilet trained then?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 11:17 PM

That's not fair. He's very good at avoiding both work and responsibility.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 09:11 PM

None of his skills were all that good. I understand that he was 16 before he could breathe without a tutor and 20 before he was toilet trained.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 08:04 PM

Shane figures we are closing in fast, Ebbie, but his math skills are not that good.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 04:46 PM

Are we there yet? I say 'we'- although I dropped out of the 85-billion quest long ago (due to lack of interest)(or something similar) I still indulge a proprietary {sic} sense.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 09:11 AM

Well, it was either the new urinals or the new septic tank. The memorialization of the septic tank is being held back until someone who REALLY deserves such an honor comes along.

But it was close, very close.

You'll be pleased to know that there's a little plaque at the bottom of each urinal reading, "In memory of the late Shame McBride. Please don't throw butts or gum in the urinal, Shame's trying to quit."

There's also a groundswell movement to get the Hovel's newly remodeled vomitorium named "Shame McBride Hall". Upton Charles "Up Chuck" Smythe and his friends are leading the charge (so to speak).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 08 - 12:24 AM

That's more than anyone in Blind River has ever done for Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 06:47 PM

Oh, they are! Did I mention that the new urinals are being dedicated to Shame's memory?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 05:31 PM

That was kind of them. What a splendid lot of caring folks they must be.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 03:34 PM

When word of his passing reached Idaho, the Idaho Legion fired a volley of shots in his memory. Then they fired volleys until they ran out of Canadian Club, when they switched to Yukon Jack and tossed back a few volleys in memory of Sergeant Preston.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 11:06 AM

LOL! Oh, dear. Shane is going to be very upset when he reads that, Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 09:33 AM

It was also taken straight down. Shame was laid out on his familiar section of street, looking as natural as he ever did. The bag was placed over his head in a symbolic gesture by Officer Dana who expressed her sorrow by saying "There, thank God. I'll never have to see him again." It is said that after the funeral ceremony the body sloshed as it was taken to its eternal resting place in the Blind River Pet Cemetery. (Cremation was forbidden due to the possibility of an alcohol-induced flash fire.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 06:34 PM

That was taken of his body after it was cleaned up, in case anyone wanted a picture to remember him by.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 04:46 PM

That is NOT Shane. The T-shirt is too clean and new looking. The body and hands are too clean looking also. The bag is too neat and clean looking. Besides, Shane is normally seen "half in the bag", not all the way in.

It's definitely not Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 04:09 PM

The last known photograph of the late Shame McBride!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 06:16 PM

Who or what is this that sullies the name of the late Shame McBride?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 05:50 PM

Hey, Rap-around? You are the sorryest flippin' LOOSER I ever hern of! You suck! If you was my dog I would of had you put down years ago, eh?

- Shane

p.-flippin'-s.   We are closin' in on our flippin' goal of 3000 posts befoar Kristmas. Good work! 85 Billion cannot be that far off, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind Drunk in Blind River
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 05:26 PM

Flippin' right, man. You rate as one of my top minniens, eh? But Rapaire does not! Know why? Cos he is a flippin' LOOSER that is why!!! And worse yet.......he is a flippin' LIBERRIAN!!! They don't come worse than that, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 05:25 PM

Yes, the late, lamented (I'm sure by someone), semi-sober, pseudo-living, Shame McBride. Scion of McBride of Blind River, holder of the purple and orange and lime green tartan....

...how we have missed him, and with target practice could we do better?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 03:20 PM

Who will be remembered on this thread as nears 85 billion? Shane and Shane alone, 'The Founder' as he'll probably be referred to(I still think of him as BDiBR - just call me sentimental). We're just his minions who carry his torch. Still, better to be a minion than a no one I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 08 - 10:59 PM

No, I'm paying tribute to the late Shame McBride.

Don't worry, I'll flush when I'm done.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 08 - 10:50 PM

You're attempting to rouse a sleeping dog, aren't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 08 - 08:57 PM

There is nothing we can give the late Shame McBride except, perhaps, to pour some good beer upon his final resting place.

It's okay to filter it through your kidneys first.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 09:11 PM

I also shed a tear.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 09:10 PM

Periodically I whed a tear (just the one, I have remarkable control of my tear ducts) for the late Shame McBride.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 05:52 PM

I'm sure that the late Shame McBride would be proud.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 05:07 PM

Far flippin' out, eh? What a great idea!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 03:23 PM

Wouldn't it be a wonderful Christmas if we managed to get to 3000 posts? I can think of no better present.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 10:26 PM

To think that Shame could have been just as famous, across Canada and the US and maybe even Mexico, as the MacKenzie brothers and Red Green and Don Cherry, eh? Maybe if he had just one more chance he wouldn't piss it away, but probably not, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 08:23 PM

Beauty, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 04:11 PM

You must be joking! Shane's been sponging off Don's girlfriends for years. He has a long history of doing that. You know what Jim Lahey always says, "A shit-apple never falls far from the tree."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 04:00 PM

Reduced to sponging off his brother's girlfriend...more evidence that this is an imposter! The REAL Shame would never put up with THAT!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:41 PM

Shame probably shouldn't have taken Don's credit cards. Now that he's dead that imposter is going to use them to run up BIG BILL$ for Don.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:25 PM

You're correct, LH. Whenever I'm alone, drunk, and computerless I'll think of Shame McBride and know that I'm still better off that he.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:10 PM

Don't be sadistic, Rapaire. Shane has feelings too, you know. Think how desolate he must feel with the use of the library computer denied to him. Have a little compassion, man. You may one day find yourself drunk, unloved, and computerless too. Then you will think of Shane and wish you had been nicer to him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:04 PM

Poor old Shame. Now someone is imitating him again, God alone knows why. Probably going to try to steal his identity so that whoever it is can collect on the late Shame's Tim Horton's Frequent Donut Hole card.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 11:37 AM

You flippin' BOLTHOLES! I am not flippin' dead! Waht kind of flippin' idoiyots are youse people??? I just been havin' trubble to find a compyuter since the liberry won't let me in there any more. Flipheads! I was not to blaim for what happened when the place got recked. It was the cops who done it! They hadda pay off the liberry bigtime fer all the damages, eh?

I am usin' a compyuter that one of Don's girlfiends said I can use but I cannnot use it fer long...so I am just gonna say this onece so's you can all hear it good and clear, eh?

Are youse ready?


FLIP OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 11:10 AM

Poor Shane is dead
Poor Shane McBride is dead
He's lookin' oh so peaceful and serene ([Shane] and serene)
He's all laid out to rest
With his hands acrost his chest
His fingernails have never been so clean

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 11:09 AM

If McBride's body is ever found it will be cremated if the alcohol level permits

Alcohol is flammable, he should light up like a Christmas tree. Maybe they could work this into the seasonal celebrations somehow.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 09:32 AM

By the way, the family requests that in lieu of flowers a donation be made to the Blind River landfill. If McBride's body is ever found it will be cremated if the alcohol level permits and the remains carefully dispersed by the Blind River sewage disposal system.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 09:19 AM

I have been forced to conclude that Shame McBride has passed away, that he is No Longer With Us. Let me, therefore, write his epitaph:

Shame McBride, son of the well-known entertainer Pamela "Boom-Boom LaTush" Kozjolowsi and a traveling drummer who called himself Frank McBride, passed away recently. McBride lived with his older brother, Don, or in a dumpster behind Tim Horton's and was a familiar figure in Blind River. Annoying all who dared come near him, he was oftimes cited by the authorities as an air pollution hazard. Shame completed three grades of elementary school, taking a Leaving Cert seven years after he commenced his studies. Following his education he pursued a semi-successful career which included flatulence, beer tasting, experimentation with various STDs, panhandling, inebriation, and body lice. He is survived by his older brother, who will miss him because the beer supply will last longer.

RIP.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:22 PM

Well, I hope Shame isn't driving because his reaction time is awfully slow.

Oh, wait. He has to wait on two things: semi-sobriety and release from gaol (jail).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 07:14 PM

We're not quarreling, Ebbie! Rapaire is simply firing insults at Shame...uh...sorry, I meant Shane...and I am making further comments along the same theme, alluding to Shane's probable reactions to those insults.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 07:11 PM

Good gracious. My first entry into this thread in weeks and I find Rapaire and Little Hawk quarreling, threatening each other even. Fellas, just remember that in the recent unpleasantness (that ended so happily), you were on the same side.

By the way, I'm impressed. This thread is getting close to 3000 posts. How many more to one billion? 85 more after that will be a snap. Ya done good. You betcha.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 05:51 PM

Yeah, I understand that he does that a lot after he's had a few beers. Right down the old pants leg and into his boots.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 05:24 PM

I just figured since he was the one who pissed in the boot in the first place he wasn't worried about how to empty it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 05:18 PM

That's because he never thought to look on the heel for the directions. He was looking inside the upper part of the boot instead. When he saw that there were no directions printed there, he gave up....too much work to pursue the matter further at that point.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:39 AM

Should be "wouldn't", not "would."

The authorities were sure that such imprisonment was suitable because they observed in pre-imprisonment testing that Shame couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions printed on the heel.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:35 AM

Oh, yer askin' for it! Ooooo!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:30 AM

Well, see, ol' Shame is in jail (gaol). And even if he wasn't, what's he gonna do? Come here and stagger around trying to beat me up or pee on my leg like a little puppy dog? All that boy does is scarf down Tim's donuts, swill beer, belch, and annoy women. I understand that he's imprisoned in a paper bag because the authorities knew he would be able to find his way out with both hands, a flashlight, and pictorial directions.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 10:04 PM

Well, I'm taking my .30-06 to work tomorrow, so I'll have to depend upon the .30-30, the 12 gauge, the 20 gauge, the .357 magnum, the .45, the 7.65mm, the...oh yeah, I'm just trembling here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 09:47 PM

You really are determined to stir up trouble, aren't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 09:16 PM

What we used to call a "cherry-boy", huh? I'd guessed that all along.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 08 - 01:51 AM

The truth is, he really isn't sure what he's saving it for. Shane simply doesn't understand politics, but if Don Cherry (the hockey commentator) were to run for office I definitely think Shane would get interested enough to work for the Cherry campaign and would get out and vote. He worships Don Cherry.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 06:52 PM

Oh, I thought Shame was saving it for marriage -- like his virginity.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 05:29 PM

On election day? Shane would definitely get drunk. He would figure it was a good excuse for a party and a "day off", not that he ever works but, you know.

Shane has never voted. He is saving his vote up for an emergency.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 05:18 PM

Remember to ask yourself: What Would Shame Do? (WWSD?)

He's get drunk, right? (Assuming that he was out of prison, which he ain't, having decked his brother Don and busted up a party just because they were going to use him as a pinata.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 05:15 PM

Bullfeathers! Vote for the guy who pays the most! Vote several times for the guy who pays the most!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 04:52 PM

Don't forget - Vote early and often.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 04:43 PM

All I can say is...

Holy flip.

That's what Shane would say.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Nov 08 - 04:33 PM

This thread is up, running and ready for all your comments about the Presidential elections 2008. Please feel free to express your feelings, concerns, hopes, fears and other emotions about the results of the election.

Please limit yourself to one feeling, concern, hope, fear or other emotion per post to keep the numbers up. Thanks

The 85 billion thread - taking America and the world forward to a new future.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 07:54 PM

Pictures! Photos! We want images!

Don, will you be using him a a pinata as well? I'll betcha he'd look good if you painted him blue and red and green and yellow and orange and other colors, too.

Leave him up for Christmas...a small, electrically lit tree placed in the proper place.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 06:00 PM

Big Brother Don
Can you post photos please? :)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 05:53 PM

The real truth is this, eh? I cawgt Shane stealin' my beer and smokes far too flippin' many times, eh? So me an my buddies are gonna hang the flipper by his mungoberries offa the big maple tree in the back yard. And then we are gonna have a barbykew at the same time and invite some good-lookin' babes over and we will all party whiles he is hangin' there yellin' and screamin'. Ha! ha! It's gonna be a lotta fun, eh? We will throw emptys at him have a wet T-shirt contest and all and he will have to flippin' watch it all whiles he is hangin' upside-flippin'-down and naked as a flippin' Bluejay! LOL!

But Rapaire has got the day wrong. We are gonna do this on the weekend. I got it arranged for Saturday aft.

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 05:09 PM

Oh, dear. Sounds as if the bottom has dropped out.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 05:06 PM

"Slack yer rope hangs-a-man
Oh slack it fer a while
I think I see my brother comin'
Ridin' many a...GLURK!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 03:53 PM

Rapaire ...yer a flippin' lyer! That is alls I got to say. You stink!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 03:43 PM

Milliard J Fillmore?

I think I might miss poor old Shane. Do you suppose Don will ride to the rescue?

Hangman, hangman, hold it a little while,
I think I see my brother coming, riding a many mile.
Brother, did you get me some silver?
Did you get a little gold?
What did you bring me, my brother, to keep me from the Gallows Pole?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 03:36 PM

What??? Only 2 more days left in the world for Shane? Say it isn't so!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 03:33 PM

A milliard, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 03:24 PM

Amazing when you stop to think about it. Just this morning I was thinking of pulling this thread up from the depths. I saw where some Brit had suggested that the $700 billion bailout just go to individuals since it would be some 365 thousand per adult (something like that, can't be bothered to get the exact numbers). The difference in the numbering systems was pointed out (though I would have prefered if it had not happened until after I got my check, oh, well).

Anyway, I got to wondering about numbers. In the US of A 1,000,000 is one million and 1,000,000,000 is one billion. If you have to go to 1,000,000,000,000 to get to a billion in the UK then what do you call 1,000,000,000? This may have been answered before but to find out would require research on my part.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 03:20 PM

Shane will live on through this thread. Won't help with any pain he may experience but something, I guess, to cheer him up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 03:07 PM

Especially since My Canadian Agents have it on excellent authority that Shane McBride of Blind River is going to be the first exception to Canada's "no capital punishment" rule. The hanging is scheduled for 12 noon, GMT, on October 8.

Seems like he bragged once too often about being "well hung" and the woman judge was not amused. The sentence has been approved all the way up and down the line and includes such notations as "Good!" and "About damned time!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 06 Oct 08 - 03:02 PM

I see there's another billion thread on the scene. How very dare they? We may be going through a quiet phase but there's only room for one billion related thread on Mudcat. I think we should all go on strike for a few weeks to teach them a lesson.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KH Melbourne
Date: 22 Sep 08 - 08:58 PM

or beyond....?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 02:39 PM

Or not.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 05:37 PM

If you do you do, you don't you don't. It will be the way it's meant to be anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 12:37 PM

Determined to be what?

I really can't accept determinism as a personal philosophy.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 12:26 PM

4. You'd miss out on being 'Poster of the Year' and the odds look good this year for someone determined.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 12:25 AM

I've written a poem about "Shane" when he gets out of durance vile:

Shane, Shane, the swinging fruit
The more he's jailed the more he

I can't go on. No way. Someone else finish it. My ending is unprintable.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Aug 08 - 08:29 AM

3. I'd miss you all

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 09:30 AM

"Shane" has feelings and self-esteem? When did this happen? Nah--gowaan--next you'll be sayin' he's outa jail or something.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 09:19 AM

One is that it would hurt Shane's feelings.

Another is that it might damage his self-esteem.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 07:09 AM

OK, I want 85 billion reasons why we should not let this thread die.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 09:50 AM

All of the below

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 05:34 PM

Very Pissed?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 05:10 PM

Violation of Parole?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 04:41 PM

VP = Violent Prisoner?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 04:09 PM

'Cheering up' threads come and go but the 85 billion thread is here to stay (so get used to it). Shane for VP

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 06:30 PM

He ain't been able to get to no computer. They are treatin' him cruel and unyushual this tiem, eh?

The flippin' bail is $5,000. I been raisin' money here in town and I got so far about $13. It's a start, eh?

I told the little brother that they are probally gonna throw the flippin' book at him this tiem but alls he has gotta do is be ready to flippin' dodge it when they do. You gotta be quick.

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 05:46 PM

The Cheering Up Shane Thread is right below this at the moment. I think knowing his thread is still alive would cheer him up. Does he have internet access in the pokey?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 05:44 PM

For High Crimes & Misdemeanors?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 04:59 PM

"Shane" is in gaol awaiting execution.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 04:32 PM

I'm personally glad Shane never set a time limit for this thread - another example of his genius some might say. He's allowed the whole journey to be a very relaxed one. Good for you BdiBR

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadian Federal Government Bean Counter
Date: 25 Jun 08 - 11:21 AM

I certainly hope the total reaches 85 billion, it'll keep me and my descendents busy for quite some time to come.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 12:07 PM

Too bad we can't send "Shane" a cake. We could put a file in it. Maybe the file on himself or something nice like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 10:46 AM

2900

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 10:45 AM

Happy Birthday 85 Billion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 09:26 AM

Well, he IS currently in jail...are you sure you want to so honor a convict, a jailbird, a gangster?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 04:37 AM

This will cheer Shane up.

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY 85 BILLION THREAD.

Yes, it's been two whole years since a then, young Shane McBride, (known only to us newcomers as BDiBR) uttered those first immortal words:

"Let's flippin' hope not, eh! Cos if it, like, did, eh, it would be a major flippin' WASTE of a lotta peoples' time, eh?"

And we've been here ever since.

Sniff. Thanks Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jun 08 - 12:00 AM

Maybe I can get Chongo to do an infomercial to raise money for the cause. If he can be persuaded, that is.

Or Shatner? Naw. Not enough money in it to attract Bill.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 08 - 08:36 AM

It's still a pretty small Foundation, LH. I'll need your help and expertise.


You do it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jun 08 - 10:35 PM

Rapaire, that is brilliant! You should start a special new thread for the Help the Hosers Foundation, repeat what you said here, and direct all those who open it to come to this thread and make their pledges!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 08 - 10:13 PM

YOU CAN HELP A HOSER!!

Poor "Shane" McBride will probably eat only Tim Horton's donuts today, surviving on grease. He will have no truck with clean water and will be forced to drink Budweiser or worse. As he staggers about looking for female companionship the ladies will laugh at him. In the loo his mates will laugh at his outfit.

But you can help "Shane" and thousands like him. Simply post to this thread and each time you do Bill Gates will send ten dollars Canadian to Help The Hosers Foundation.

Help The Hosers is the only foundation in the world dedicated to helping hosers lead quasi-normal lives. Last year we helped over six hosers -- won't you help a hoser now? It only takes a few seconds.

Maybe someday "Shane" himself will come to your house and thank you. But even if he never does, you'll know you've done Good.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 08 - 08:58 PM

He does have incredible skills with the ladies: Seldom have so many laughed so long and so hard at such a little softy.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jun 08 - 07:56 PM

Aside from his incredible skills with the ladies... (cough! cough!)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 08 - 05:24 PM

Why not? He's got nothing much else going for him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 05 Jun 08 - 03:22 PM

Shane could become the thread saviour and a folk hero.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jun 08 - 12:08 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Maybe we could get a posting drive going to raise money to clean up Shane's dissolute life, give him a decent education, and then get him safely and happily married to Officer Jennifer Dana of the OPP.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 08 - 08:17 AM

The guilt part could be that by posting here you too can save a young man in Blind River from a life of celibacy and alcoholism.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jun 08 - 01:14 AM

Why not go for both? And then add guilt as a further motivation.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Jun 08 - 05:30 PM

Superstitious fear v naked profit - which would get us the most posters?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jun 08 - 04:51 PM

Tell them that Bill Gates is tracking their posts and will give them USD 50.00 each time they post here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Jun 08 - 04:19 PM

I think it's fair to say we need a recruitment drive. How about we all post on other threads saying that, after reading the post they need to post 100 times on the 85 billion thread or will have bad luck for a year? Once here they would surely want to stay and could become recruiters themselves. Why we'd be at a billion within the month. Is this a good idea or is this a good idea? I can see a special badge being made for this one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 03:45 PM

Hey, tell 'em to blame Aer Lingus and the Canadian Defence Forces. The CDF didn't have to approve the drop, and they COULD have shot that shit right out of the sky. But no....

Ya try to do somethin' nice for someone and look what it gets ya.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 12:22 PM

I knew something like this gonna happen. Boy, Shane is really ticked. They could hear the yelling all over Blind River. Don is pretty mad about it too, although he figures it is partly Shane's fault for carrying on the internet feud with Rapaire all this time. Still, family is family, blood is thicker than beer (though not as bubbly), and the McBride brothers are TICKED!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 11:57 AM

Well, that "Shane" fella is sure danged hard to please. Here I make all the arrangement for a present to be dropped for him and all he does is gripe about it. Talk about un-flippin'-grateful sacks of meadow muffins!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 11:52 AM

Is it just me or is anyone else thinking that there could be dark days ahead for this thread? In say 2 billion (English billion) years time this could be seen as a pivotal moment in the days of the 85 billion thread. Spooky

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Ralph Malph
Date: 27 May 08 - 05:42 AM

Anyone on this thread like folk music?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 20 May 08 - 07:23 PM

Rapaire is scairt! He has ran away to flippin' England and I am back in charge of this here thread, eh? Things are gettin' back to normle aroudn here now becoz the bolthole Rapaire got scairt off by me becos he knkows I would clean his clock and boot his flippin' ass right outta town if he dared to, like, shown his face. His day is OVER, man. OVER. Shane is back in charge, eh? I rule. I am the Chief. I ROCK.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 May 08 - 04:40 PM

Do enlighten KB, I can't make the connection and Babel's no use.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 May 08 - 01:05 PM

Hut sut ralson on the rilla ra

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 May 08 - 04:41 PM

Bumpety bump

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 18 May 08 - 04:24 PM

But did you make it to the UK Shane?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 May 08 - 08:36 PM

Rapaire is a dip-flippin' bolthole and a son of a dog-flippin' dipwad! He has not had his flippin' dip flipped in so flippin' long that he probally cant' even flippin' remembar HOW it is done no more! And anyways it don't work, eh? So there would be no flippin' hope for him!

Flip you, Rapaire!!!

Your pal - Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 May 08 - 09:59 AM

I went through Edinburgh, Indiana one time. Does that count?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 May 08 - 03:14 AM

Bump

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 14 May 08 - 05:14 PM

Scotland is in the UK Rapaire... hmm, are you one of these separatists making a political point?

I lived in cambridge for a year - nice place but a bit flat.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 08 - 05:44 PM

Been to Scotland, too -- but you asked about the UK.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 08 - 05:43 PM

Yes, I was once invited to speak at a meeting at Girton College and my wife and I fooled around in East Anglia afterwards. That was the day Diana was killed. "Why," asked she, "are the flags at half-staff?" "I dunno. I'm not British. Might be some sort of holiday, maybe."

Then, at Ely Cathedral, the Bishop his own self said: "Perhaps you have heard of the death of our Princess Diana...."

Oops.

But I did visit Castle Rising and a neolithic flint mine, as well as some of Cambridge and that big aerodrome outside of town.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 May 08 - 04:14 PM

Any of you been to the UK? If so, where? If not, why not? Why not, if not?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 08 - 09:14 AM

Yeah, Don, that's what I thought.

Yer punk kid brother's just a talker and not a man.

My 5 year old great nephew could drink him under the table and his three year old brother could beat the crap outa him and never raise a sweat. And I'm certain sure that they've each "been with" more women than what's-his-name..."Shane," the Shame of the McBrides.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 08 - 09:29 PM

BB Don, you know what? Our Library Pistol Team is meeting here at my house tomorrow afternoon. And I'm the coach and trainer.

Back a few years (more than I care to remember), I taught hand-to-hand combat to guys in the Army. I taught them how to kill with knives, wire, string, belts, sticks, and all sorts of things -- and their bare hands (and feet).

During the time I've been shooting, Don, I've fired pistols, rifles, shotguns, revolvers, flintlocks, BB guns, air rifles, caplocks, machine guns, submachine guns, rocket launchers, grenade launchers, bows and arrows, 60 and 81 mm mortars, and even those slingshots that use rubber bands.

I can't say that I'm really concerned about your little bye-bye-baby-bunting-brother being pissed off at me. He should remember that it's lots better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 07 May 08 - 06:40 PM

Hey, Rap-man! You are really givin' the little brother a hard time, eh? Ha! Ha! Well, if you gos to Sudbury you might find him there sometime cos he gos to Sudbury now and then tryin' to find girls dumber than the girls in this town...and who alsos ain't heard of him yet! There are such girls, eh? Sudbury is big enuff that the field ain't been all played out yet, know what I mean? Hell, it will probablly NEVER be all played out, and that is good for idiots like my little brother.

Them guys who were lookin' for the little brother must be the same ones that lost there snowmobile, there chainsaw, a 2-4 of Export and a couple other things like that. Things that strangely went missin' in the night, eh? They seem to think the little brother might know somethin' about where them things are at. They are wastin' there time becoz if he did know where anything like that was then he would pond it in Sudbury right quick, eh? Except the 2-4. That he would drink, eh?

But man you are strikin' below the belt by bringing up Officer Dana. The boy is still carryin' the torch for her so he will be really ticked about it.

This means you are, like, in about the same flippin' degree of phisical danger as the flippin' Undertaker would be if Woody Allen decided to, like, take him into the back alley, eh?

Like none at all, eh? Ha! Ha! Ha!

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 May 08 - 06:20 PM

LOL! Sounds about right to me, Rapaire. But you say you found several attractive young women in Blind River? Several??? That means more than just 1 or 2, right?

Man, you must've really done a thorough search! ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 08 - 01:19 PM

Yeah, I went to Blind River once. I asked for "Shane" McBride. I asked several attractive young women, all of whom replied "Who's that, eh?" I then asked a cop, who laughed herself sick and then said something about someone named "Dana" thinking she could "rehab that drunken idiot." I asked a group of mean-looking men who said, "Yeah, we're lookin' for him too, if you know what I mean" and he showed me that he had a shotgun in his pickup truck and said, "Let me know if you see him, eh?" Finally a guy laughed and said, "Look behind the dumpster at Tim's. If he's not behind it he's in it, sleeping it off."

I wasn't interested enough to go dumpster diving, so I drove over to Sudbury.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:29 PM

Yeah. So when am I gonna see some real ACTION outta you, flipface? I ain't hard to find. Just come to Blind River and ask anyone. Just mention my name, eh? People worship me in this town. Specially the women do, but you knew that, right?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:25 PM

Talk's cheap, punk-o.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:21 PM

You are such a big flippin' liar that you ought get paid fer layin' down in the front window of the flippin' rug store as a "demonstrater"! People could flippin' walk on you so's to test the "pile"! Ha! Ha! Blind River'rs can outdrink you Idaho flipheads any day of the week and twice on flippin' Sundays.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:16 PM

Shucks, folks from Blind River fold up like a cheap pocket knife after only six or seven twelve ounce cans of Buddywiser. They start puking it up after three. Ain't nobody in Blind River can hold their likker beyond about seven cans of beer, and it don't matter what kind of beer it is, either.

Now, you take the good folks here in the Idaho Legion, THEY know how to drink beer! I've seen the poorest, sorriest, seediest, sickest member drink a whole danged keg of Bitch Creek in about a hour and a half. 'Course, she was usin' a straw so that slowed her down some, and she was eighty-seven years old. Usually she'd just pour it down outa the bung, but she'd been sick for a while, like I said. Now, you give a Blind Riverite that much beer and it would be "Last Post" for 'em. BRers just can't hold their likker, and that's all there is to it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:28 PM

HOLY FLIP!!!!! Now that's a heist I can flippin' respect, eh? Wow! My family is got a lotta Irish blood and I know that the flippin' Irish know there flippin' beer, eh? Man, I sure wisht I had them 36,000 pints right here in the backyard. What a party that would flippin' be!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:01 PM

doing it the Irish way!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 May 08 - 08:53 PM

Stealin' only 1,600 beers is small time, man. If I was gonna heist a beer truck I would make sure it had, like, at least 16,000 beers on it. That would be worth the flippin' effert not to menshun the risk of gettin' caught, eh?

and there would be enuff fer all my frends to get drunk too. I would sell them beers for half price and get rich, eh? Then I would buy more beer.

Geez! I am gettin' real thirsty just thinkin' about this!

I wonder who it was who stole that beer in Florida?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 06 May 08 - 03:58 PM

Oxygen eh? What's that all about?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Apr 08 - 11:56 AM

Is Shane perhaps vacationing in Florida?

1,600 cases of beer stolen; thirsty thieves sought

April 24, 2008

TAMPA -- If someone shows up at a party with 1,600 cases of Icehouse longnecks, the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office would like you to give them a call.

Deputies said an entire Great Dane semitrailer truck containing the beer was stolen sometime between 8 a.m. and midnight on April 21 from 6408 Causeway Blvd. The owner of the cab parks on the leased lot and reported the truck stolen.

Deputies said the trailer is white with red stripes along the top and bottom and is valued at $10,000. The cab is a white 1993 Freightliner model valued at $15,000. Deputies provided a picture (left) of a similar cab.

Authorities valued the hooch at $20,000.

Deputies ask anyone with information to call [phone] or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-873-8744.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 08 - 09:34 AM

Hyacinths?
Forget-me-not?
Columbine?
Penstemon?
Delphinium?
Hyssop?
Coneflower?
Gaillardia?
Lupine?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Apr 08 - 09:14 AM

What's all this fuss about violets on television?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 06:55 PM

Gentian?
Geraniums?
Violets?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 04:43 PM

Blast, I was hoping to keep this one going for about 100,000 posts. Well done KB. No cigar this time Rapaire but marks for effort.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 04:39 PM

Who you callin' a Pansy?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 04:33 PM

Carnations?
Irises?
Daffodils?
Primroses?
Roses?
Daisies?
Phlox?
Foxglove?
Pansies?
Petunias?
Violas?
Coxcomb?
Edelweiss?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 04:26 PM

Tulips

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 03:40 PM

But thanks for trying

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 03:40 PM

No

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 03:23 PM

Flowery speech?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 22 Apr 08 - 02:23 PM

Come on, at least one guess please - for the sake of the thread!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Apr 08 - 03:07 PM

What flowers do we grow underneath our noses?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 02:14 PM

He rarely reaches zero when he's sober....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: alanabit
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 03:35 AM

Can't one estimate Shane's degree of intoxication by the number, which he can successfully count to?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 08 - 11:35 AM

I've seen "Shane"! He lives!

There I was, following a horseman down the road, and behold! Before me was "Shane", his face visible whenever the tail didn't cover it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 03:25 PM

He runs out of numbers after 1. "1...ah, a lot...."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 09:58 AM

Can Shane count that high?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 08 - 09:42 AM

Yeah, there are. Let me count the things:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

That's all that come to mind at the moment.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 10:23 PM

I told you...I'm getting too old for that. What would be the point? Anyway, there are a few things that Shane could probably teach me...but not about dating.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 05:23 PM

If "Shane" were still alive he could teach you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 02:49 PM

Uh-huh. That's like...by the time I really got the knack of how to date women I was almost at the stage of being too old for it. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 02:38 PM

I kinda figured. By the time I was old enough to go on one of those junkets they were no longer required.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 02:31 PM

It was paid for by my rich uncle, Sam.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 02:30 PM

Maybe you should look into getting a different travel agent.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 02:00 PM

I took a journey once. Ended up being shot at. I didn't enjoy either the journey or the destination.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 04:16 PM

Personally I like to enjoy the journey. That's the only part one can be sure of (not to indicate I doubt our eventual success).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 04:11 PM

Nobody said a post had to be interesting. It's the destination that counts not the journey isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 08 - 04:13 PM

Yes, the dear old lady taught elementary school, which was known as "Gramma Grammer's Grammer." Of course, the school employed tutors who were called "Gramma Grammer's Grammer Crammers."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 03 Apr 08 - 12:03 PM

My grammar was an english teacher. Really.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 08 - 11:24 AM

Please imagine, in the last sentence of my last post, that I used the word "are" and not "is". My gramma insisted upon good grammer, which is why we called her "Gramma Grammer."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 08 - 09:11 AM

Just like I-O-WAY.

And I'd know. I've been to Iowa. I've been to Keokuk and Fort Madison (outside the walls of the prison, no less!) and Dubuque and Des Moines and Davenport and Ames and Iowa City and Mason City and Clinton and Amana and Burlington and I even spent a month in Avoca once when I stopped to get gas.

Yessir! Only places stranger than Iowa is the Tim Horton's in Blind River, Ontario and the water treatment plant in Crouch, Idaho.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Apr 08 - 06:18 PM

It's been too weird for quite a while now, seems to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Apr 08 - 05:19 PM

And then gnu starts a thread with a picture that Ragdall took of a Great Horned Owl! I just don't know, it's just getting too weird.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Apr 08 - 05:03 PM

Hadn't thought about quite like that. I guess I should be glad there is anything going on at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 08 - 04:33 PM

You are in Iowa.
Why are you surprised that something strange is going on?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Apr 08 - 04:11 PM

I had another owl experience, perhaps the strangest yet. I started reading Harry Potter #1 yesterday (my 9 year old is up to #5 after three weeks, thought I should at least read the first), owls figure rather prominently in the story. Last night I was listening to my new Ma Rainey CD and there are two songs with owl in the title. Then at about 1:00 in the morning I got up to take a leak and heard an owl hooting. I tell ya, there is something weird going on around here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 08 - 12:35 PM

"Shane's" not gonna be disappointed if Daddy Smith & Co. catch up with him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 02 Apr 08 - 10:40 AM

So...the little brother spent HIS speshul day yesterday celebratin' and today he is hung over like a flippin' tart! Ha! Ha! I bet he will stay in bed all day, eh? I would say that things are gettin' back to abnormle around here, like it used ta be. April Fools only comes oncest a year and Shane always gives it the best flippin' shot he can becoz it is his day. He went all over the flippin' town makin' false promises and stuff to people that he knows. I doubt that anyone beleeved any of it. But it's hard to say coz some people will beleeve anything if its' what they want to hear, eh? Well, if they did beleeve him they are gonna be real disapoynted.

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 08 - 09:08 AM

Ah, the impostor is back!

I can tell, because he's never met my sister. I know it if he had, because there'd be bits of him scattered from PEI to Baja California.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 01 Apr 08 - 11:02 PM

Okay, so, like...it ain't midnight yet, right?

So I go a cuopla things to say here, eh?

# 1 - I am not gonna get drunk no more because it is bad for sosiety and for my health. So no more booze ever.

# 2 - I am not gonna look at porno stuff no more.

# 3 - I am gonna pay back all the people I ever, like, borrowed from, robbed, cheated...and stuff like that.

# 4 - I am gonna take a bath every flippin' day of my life from now on.

# 5 - I am not gonna flippin' swear no more. The last time you will EVER hear me say "FLIP!" is........well, it's comin' up real soon. Wait for it.

# 6 - I am gonna marry that girl from Sudbury that says I, like, got her preggnat and I will make her a flippin' honest woman AND I will get a JOB!!!!! Full flippin' TIME!

# 7 - I will apolajize for all the bad stuff I ever done.

# 8 - I will kiss RApair'es hand and tell him "You ROCK, man! I WISH I could be YOU!"

Okay.

I really mean it. All of it.

I do.

This will all start happenin' from this day on.

And there is only one other thing I got ta say.....
















FLIP YOUSE!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY FLIPPIN' APRIL FOOLS DAY, YOU FLIPPIN' RETREADS!!!!!!!!! YOUSE ALL SUCK AND SO DO YER SISTERS! HA! HA! HA!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 08 - 09:10 PM

This is the day that "Shane" has made -- let us rejoice and be glad, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Apr 08 - 05:39 PM

Matter of fact, we still do. This day was MADE for Shane, eh? It IS his day. No doubt about it. You don't have to, like, be outta Grade School OR in the Pen to know that, know'm sayin'? Eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 08 - 03:24 PM

The day when we used to celebrate "Shane"!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 Apr 08 - 01:50 PM

It's April - fools.

Have a nice day.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Mar 08 - 04:02 PM

I know where I can get plenty of that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 08 - 12:07 PM

Real catgut.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 27 Mar 08 - 07:13 AM

No prize - seems I'll have to make my clues easier in future. Phew

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Mar 08 - 01:34 PM

Whashtub Bass: What kind of string and why?

Do I win the prize?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Mar 08 - 12:08 PM

Name That Thread

Post response - 'Happy Birthday'

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 08 - 05:53 PM

I guess she's gonna be if her daddy catches up with Teeny-Weeny.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Mar 08 - 03:53 PM

Oooh, that felt good.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Mar 08 - 03:53 PM

2800

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Mar 08 - 03:52 PM

Mary Smith? Is that Teeny-Weenies wife?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 08 - 03:26 PM

By the way, Teeny, what are you going to do about that Mary Smith thing?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 08 - 03:25 PM

Ah! Now I know why Teeny-Weeny's head collapsed!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Mar 08 - 03:12 PM

If there is no vacuum in space how do they get rid of the dust bunnies?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 25 Mar 08 - 03:00 PM

It don't take a flippin Weinstein to figure it out, dipwad! You ever heard the old espression "Nature abores a vacume?" That means Nature ain't interested in havin' no vacumes around and will fill it faster than a fart down a lightning rod, eh? That is why there is no flippin' vacumes in space. The only place there is a vacume is where some people have made one...like in a thermos...and they made it by suckin' all the air out. People suck, man. Ya know why? Because they are so good at it, that's why.

Ya gotta stick with yer main talents to get somewheres in life. If you had done that, fer eggzample, you would be servicin' lonesome stray dogs and rich flower sniffers in flippin' Mexico now instead of buggin' people like me on the flippin' Net.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 08 - 02:44 PM

Oh no. Teeny-Weeny said that there is no vacuum. Teeny-Weeny has to figure it out himself. And Teeny-Weeny won't be able to.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Mar 08 - 12:46 PM

how does a vacuum bottle know to keep something hot or cold?

I have always heard this is because the thermos is the greatest invention of all time. AI, if you will.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 08 - 09:19 AM

Yeah? Then how does a vacuum bottle know to keep something hot or cold, Teeny-Weeny?

And as for things still being around in the Universe, remember the night you proposed to that skank in Sudbury because you thought that this would make her come across? And that she accepted and then told you she was saving herself for marriage? Hmmmm? How do you think Officer Dana is gonna take that when she finds out, hmmm? Or that the girl's father and brothers are still looking for you, shotguns in hands?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Mar 08 - 11:19 PM

Yeah, right. That's all you know. Space ain't a vacume, you dummy. Space is fulla invisible stuff that is like a...like a matrix, eh? That's what Artixes told me. He said there ain't one single bit of space that ain't chock full of that invisible stuff and that all kinds of energies, like light and other stuff, move through that stuff in waves. He said that Earth people are totally worng when they say space is a vacume but that they will find out different some day.

He says that anything that happens in space sends out vibes through the stuff like on a spiderweb and the vibes go to the whole flippin' universe! This means that all the stoopid stuff that you have ever said and did has gone out to the whole flippin' universe and is recorded there in flippin' waves like grafetee on a flippin' wall!

It makes me sick to think of that. I would be doin' the universe a big favor to put a flippin' end to you, man. Think of the damage you already done in yer idiot life by now! Jeez. Flippin' awful.

I am gonna talk to Artixes and Meklorr and the others and see if I can get them to go to Ida-flippin'-HO and deal with you cos you are like a violent diseese, man. You have got to be stopped!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 08 - 10:48 PM

By the way, Teeny-Weeny, space is a vacuum and therefore is neither hot nor cold.

If you don't belief me, ask yourself how a vacuum bottle knows how to keep hot things like coffee hot and cold things like beer cold.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 08 - 05:03 PM

Teeny-Weeny, are you saying you're going to dump up somewhere around Uranus? Someplace all nasty and wipe-free?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Mar 08 - 04:48 PM

When I am done savin' the universe...and savin' YER sorry asses, let me flippin' reemind you!...I will get my pals the Greys to flippin' beam all youse flipheads clean off this planet and on to some bare flippin' peece of a goddamm rock that is floatin' aroudn out there in space halfways to flippin' Plooto. You will be laffin' out of the other sides of yer stoopid faces THEN! Ha! Boy will I enjoy watchin' youse turnin' blue from the lacke of air and cold in flippin' deep space and youse will be beggin' me to let youse in the spaceship and I will just say "See ya later, flipface! Bye, bye. Don't forget to flippin' write."

The last thing you will see through yer dyin' eyes is my middle finger pointin' straight up and in yer direction.

Just wait, boltholes. Just wait.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Mar 08 - 04:29 PM

Teeny-Weeny is back? I thought he was dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 08 - 04:19 PM

Henceforth, please refer to the aforesaid "Shane" by his correct name: Teeny-Weeny.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Mar 08 - 04:16 PM

That was just Rapaire trying to drive Shane totally out of his tiny mind. And he fairly much succeeded in that, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Mar 08 - 03:15 PM

Shane is back? I thought he was dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Mar 08 - 02:00 PM

That would be an improvement. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 08 - 09:13 AM

Alright, I won't go around calling him "the late "Shane" McBride" any more.

I'll call him "Teeny-Weeny Shane."

How's that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Mar 08 - 10:37 PM

Geez, Rapaire, you have to stop torturing poor Shane in this fashion. I'm afraid the guy will have a coronary. He's back now. Don started a thread about it. He has returned from deep space, none the worse for wear.

He now has plans to save the world and marry Officer Dana. Big plans, eh? ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 08 - 07:46 PM

Dear Impostor, you'd probably enjoy being killed. Kicking around in the dirt, your sphincters cutting loose....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 08 - 06:59 PM

Dear Impostor of the Late "Shane":

1. Idaho has the death penalty, although YOU might avoid it on the grounds of mental incompetence.

2. I own several rifles, pistols, and shotguns and know very well how to use them. Further, I wouldn't hesitate to do so if my life or the life of another were threatened. In your case, I would have to use armor-piercing bullets, because that's about the only thing that MIGHT penetrate your head. I'm not sure about your stomach; the fat padding might stop anything short of artillery.

3. I flippin' taught hand-to-hand combat: hands, sticks, knives, rope, wire -- you name it.

4. I haven't killed anyone for a long time and I miss it. Please, please, come out here and number my days for me. Pretty please?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 08 - 02:20 PM

"Shane" McBride: he gave his life for all of us.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Mar 08 - 01:11 PM

Youse can both go FLIP yourselfs! Taht was not me. It was some inperonsonator pretendin' to be me.

I would not apologize to a flippin' idiot like you, Rapaire, if you gave me a hunnert million dollars to! I have flippin' HAD it. Yer days are numbered, man.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 08 - 08:49 AM

Your apology is accepted.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Mar 08 - 08:22 AM

Jeez, yer rite. You don't have to go or nothin. I'm just bein a bolthole and I shkoudn't be steeling a dead guys idenity. Look, I'm like, dsorry, you know?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 08 - 06:13 PM

I would, if you were truly "Shane" McBride instead of a flippin' imposter bolthole, bolthole.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 22 Mar 08 - 02:53 PM

JEE-ZUSS!

I don't know what the flip you are ON, man, but I wisht I could get some!

You are missin' a few cards outta the deck, know'm sayin'? You are a few beer short of a 12 pack.

Now look here, dipstick, I wanna remind you about somehting. Who started this here flippin' thread???? EH???? Whose thread is this????

It's mine, that's who's thread it is adn you don't hold no flippin' waitght on this thread, eh? You are flippin' SKWATTING on this thread, man! You are an illegel Immagrant on this here thread! You are a fippin' WETBACK!

I wnat you OUTTA HERE! You don't belong here no more. I flippin' ORDER you to get the FlIP OFFA MY 85 BILLION POST THREAD and DON't COME BACK NO MORE!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 08 - 10:04 AM

So...you don't deny that you are STEALING THE IDENTITY of the late "Shane" McBride, Don McBride's little brother? I have no doubt you want to take the inheritance he left to his widow and children! Poor Mary, trying to raise three kids all by herself with only the millions "Shane" left, and now a scumbag comes along pretending that HE is "Shane" McBride so that he can rip the crumbs from the mouths of children!

There are no words to describe how far beneath contempt such a person is. But I am arranging for a couple of friends from Detroit to drop around and take you for a nice ride in the country, or maybe they'll show you their new boat. In any case, they'll explain a few things about being nice to widows and children.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 21 Mar 08 - 10:32 PM

Man...

You are such a flippin' lair. Un-flippin'-be-leeavbale. It's like lissening to a busted water mane or somethin'. It just goes on and flippin' on and nOTHING can make it stop, eh?

Jeezus Flip.

Get a life, man. I mean it. I am sorry that I even waisted the time it takes to tell you this but you are FLIPPED! Totally. I am glad that I do not have none of yer fambly's jeans in my blood, eh? I would ask the cops to shoot me dead right now if I thought I did.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 08 - 09:37 PM

Listen, you scum-lickin', slug-lovin' lousy excuse for a human! The late "Shane" McBride was a gentleman; temperate, educated, and well-spoken. For you to pretend to be him is an insult to his memory and in earlier times could only be washed away with YOUR blood. You want that? I kin give it to you -- guns, knives, swords, fists, you name it. I kin drink more whiskey, beer OR water than any man alive. I once got thirsty and tipped up the Snake River, before I was done I'd drunk the Snake and the Columbia dry and was working on the Pacific Ocean. I drank up the liquor AND beer in every tavern, bar, gin mill or private home from Halifax, Nova Scotia to San Diego, California and back to Portland, Maine with a side trip up to Yellowknife. I've bit off enough ears to string a necklace from St. Louie to Frisco and back agin, with the eyes I've gouged out set between 'em. Beautiful women throw themselves at me, panting with lust, and when I'm done with 'em they're just dried up shells of their former selves, but oh! so very happy.

Now, if you keep up the lyin' that you're "Shane" McBride I'm gonna come up there and shove you down your own throat and keep shovin' until you disappear like a cowflop in a rainstorm.

YOU HEAR ME, MAGGOT???

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 21 Mar 08 - 08:09 PM

FLIP YOU!!!!!!!!!   You are the one who is flippin' DEAD, man! You are flippin' dead from the nees up and from the hat down, you corkpullin' fliphead! I have seen roadkills that were not as dead as you! You stink! I will come to Ida-flippin'-HO one of these days and find yer sorry ass and then you WILL be sorry. Mark my flippin' words, bolthole!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 08 - 06:20 PM

Look, faker. "Shane" McBride is no longer with us. He's passed away. Gone to the Other Side. Croaked. Kicked the bucket. Bought the farm. And I don't like you badmouthin' him by pretending you are him, got that? I say, YOU GOT THAT, MAGGOT?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 21 Mar 08 - 05:40 PM

I ain't as flippin' late as you think - Dipwad! You are the one who is flippin' late every time, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 08 - 05:26 PM

The late, unlamented "Shane" told me it was so.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Mar 08 - 04:13 PM

But not the other way around.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 08 - 03:53 PM

Yeah. And vice-versa.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Mar 08 - 09:12 AM

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 08 - 10:10 PM

Good cigar, but trying?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Mar 08 - 05:57 PM

Good try but no cigar

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Mar 08 - 05:09 PM

Black Magic meets Reality, who'll win?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Mar 08 - 04:46 PM

Name That Thread

the answer is BOTH

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Mar 08 - 09:23 AM

How about this?

(With a tip of the hat to Emma B)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 10:19 PM

Or maybe the currently-popular Uncle Sam?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 09:10 PM

Yosemite Sam doesn't suit Yosemite Sam's beard. How about a Van Dyke, with sneering mustachios?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 08:12 PM

Yes, but which beard? Would he suit Yosemite Sam's beard, for instance?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 06:05 PM

I think you'd suit a beard

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 05:39 PM

When I was a teen I tried growing my hair long but I wound up looking like Robert Plant. All frizzy and wild. I didn't like it so I haven't tried since. Couldn't have grown a beard then and now that I could I don't want to.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 05:32 PM

I'd say long hair and a beard, but I'm no authority.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 05:32 PM

I have a sting in my repartee.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 05:26 PM

OK, then, how long is eternity? I'm thinking about 5 miles.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 05:23 PM

That was kind of a waspish response Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 05:13 PM

That would make you a son of a bee, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 05:07 PM

In order to do my bit for the 85 Billion thread I have decided to respond to other thread questions here. My first response is 'a bee'. Thank you

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 09:16 PM

I wouldn't think that you'd have to come all the way to Idaho to buy dope. But to each his own.

Driggs is about 2 hours east of here. It's where all the millionaires who used to live in Jackson Hole moved to after the billionaires forced them out.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 05:26 PM

That's how I know she lives in Idaho.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 05:23 PM

She was just busted for pot possession over in Driggs, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 04:28 PM

Hey Rap, I see that Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island lives in Driggs and runs a film festival, the Spud Fest. You ever run into her? I know Idaho is a pretty big place but still.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 09:58 PM

When the roll was called up yonder I warn't there.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 12:38 PM

Many are culled, but few are frozen.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 12:07 PM

I was Called, but chose not to answer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Mar 08 - 09:34 AM

And I missed it, damn. My Outlook_TM was down so I didn't get an alert, I had it on my calendar.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 09:20 PM

It WAS the Judgement Day. I thought everyone knew that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 03:46 PM

Oh yes of course - silly me. Rapaire is correct, this is no new discovery you knew all along. The answer is YES I was shook, it felt like someone was shaking me awake. By the time I was fully awake it was all over and I thought it must have been a dream or a poltergeist. It's the talk of Ambridge, Bert Fry's missus thought it was judgement day.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Hovering Bob
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 03:44 PM

No

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 03:23 PM

What I meant was, did you get shook? Hmmm... perhaps I should re-phrase. Did last weeks tremors in Merry Olde England cause any ripples in Ambridge?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 03:07 PM

I, for one, have never thought "What a fool that IWTATBM turned out to be". No sir! I've always thought "What a fool that IWTATBM is."

Does it help any for you to know that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 02:39 PM

RE: Post 2699

I have to confess KB I didn't know what you meant when you said "did you get shook" and I still don't. I should have asked for more details then, but not wanting to appear the fool I let it lie. But you wouldn't let it lie would you KB? I am now forced to ask you what you meant and everyone will be thinking "what a fool that IWTATBM turned out to be". Et tu KB?

I must now consider whether it would be best if I quit this thread forever, never to return. I hope you're proud of yourself.

Maybe farewell forever

Woe is me

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 02:29 PM

Tough choice. You don't happen to have a potato cannon do you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 02:22 PM

Which one? The .50, the .50, the .54 (which I haven't finished yet), the .44, the .44, the .45, the .45 or the .36?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 01:27 PM

One more thing, can I have your muzzle loader?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 01:21 PM

Sorry to see you go, Rap.By the way, what's your number?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 01:14 PM

Remember when Peanuts had a character named 5? He said his dad was disgusted with society becoming so impersonal and how we were all becoming just numbers. Charlie Brown asked if this was his father's way of fighting back and 5 said 'No, this is his way of giving up.'

We will miss you Rap.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 12:35 PM

Oh, wow is me. My lib cred it shot. I am going to sit here and work myself to death.

Farewell, cruel world! Parting is such sweet sorrow. Goodnight, goodnight! They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance. What? the flames already? In manu tuo, Dominii, commendum spiritum meum.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 09:40 AM

Ooooh! I know, I know... um, what was the question?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 09:36 AM

Damn. One of those was the number of bananas Chongo ate last year, but which one was it?

I'll have to ask him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 09:34 AM

No cred. Man, there is nothin' left for me to do but to go to work! Farewell, cruel world! I shall fling myself into an 856 field, be swalled up by the 008 subfields! Alas and also Alack!

Let's blame "Shane" for it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 09:31 AM

Only person in the whole danged world without a number. Man, my lib cred is like, gone!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 09:28 AM

357? 4570? 3030? 38? 31415? 4? 91?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 09:24 AM

1630? 1588? 4104? 5229? Any of those mean anything to you? How about 2791 -- I'll bet THAT one does! I know these things because I'm a registered psychotic, like those folks on late-night TV ads.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 09:20 AM

Okay, how about the number 9761? Does that mean anything to you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 09:10 AM

That's 'cause Chongo eats so much spoiled fruit. It's juicy when it goes in and juicier when it comes out. Probably got the phone handset all sticky, too. If you were lucky it was sticky with overripe fruit. Ol' Chongo's not the most cleanly of folks around.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 11:42 PM

Oh, that. ;-) Well, actually I had that phone in the washroom disconnected. Chongo kept using it to call his relatives in Africa and it got totally out of hand.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 08:57 PM

I knew that, got it from some secret hand signals and foot tapping.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:42 PM

Actually, it's the last four digits of your office's bathroom phone number. But that number is secret, so I won't tell anyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:40 PM

I'm not convinced it does mean anything. I think you're just pretending it does.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:30 PM

I didn't think that it would.

See what I mean? I know everything.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:25 PM

Rapaire?

No, it doesn't.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 06:08 PM

Well, let's see:

I have both brown and gray felt hats.

I have both a six-foot and a ten-foot bullwhip.

I have a .38 revolver.

I am proficient in several languages, including fluency in both profane and obscene.

I have an extensive academic background.

I have lived in Indiana and have even taken classes at the University of Indiana at Bloomington.

I do not, however, have the last name of "Jones".

I suppose that this makes me "Indiana X."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 05:25 PM

Last night we watched "The Librarian"

It is a made for TV movie with some guy who is (was, I don't know) on ER (I think). It was pretty hokey but fun anyway. The hero is a nerdy (initially) Indiana Jones type (sort of).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 05:18 PM

Because, LH, in the words of a very famous author, I am "one of the secret masters of the world: a librarian. They control information. Don't ever piss one off."

Like every Librarian, I sit in the middle of a vast web of data and information. I know what each twitch of a strand means and how to respond to it for optimal results. I know about Samuel Steele and the Orilla Terriers, for example, or "Mariposa" and Gordon Lightfoot.

Does the number "8331" mean anything to you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 04:04 PM

Yes, IWTATBM, but did you get shook last week? You never said (see post 2699).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 03:35 PM

Yea, I got the first post for March.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 12:53 PM

How the hell would you know about the Packet And Times? You scare me, man.

And what's "the question", I wonder?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:24 AM

Ah yes, but precisely which cheeks?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:05 AM

Hey, I just read this in the Packet And Times "Arts and Life" section:

Laugh, Guffaw, Chuckle, Giggle, Snicker
Around The Town, Around The Area

...Don McBride of Blind River squired the OPP's "Officer Dana" to the Leap Year Dance at the Legion in Blind River last night. Could this mean she's ready to pop the question? They were certainly dancing cheek-to-cheek....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 03:35 PM

Yeah. I understand that the grease has caused too many to slip into the Atlantic or Pacific and the chain is no longer profitable because of that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 02:40 PM

Did you see that other thread about Tim Horton's closing down?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 02:32 PM

Flip, man. I jusrt reelised that I have been negleckgin' this important thread, eh?   I am sorry. Real sorry. I will try to make it up to all youse cos I know that youse need me to, like, keep ya on track, know'm sayin'?

I will drop in more offen and scatter a few paerls of wisdom around.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 01:30 PM

To avoid the "Ghost Hortons in the Sky" one must r-r-r-r-r-r-r-roll up the rim and win r-r-r-r-r-r-really BIG.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 09:30 AM

2700 isn't quite 85 B but it is one more step on the road.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 09:29 AM

Hey, IWTATBM, did you get shook?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 03:38 PM

ARE we watering the dead? Now that "Shane" McBride has gone to that Great Tim Horton's In The Sky?

What a great song idea! "Ghost Hortons In The Sky"!

An old hoser went stumbling out one dark and windy night
In a gutter then he rested as he tried to strike a light
When all at once a mighty herd of red eyed skanks he saw
A-plowing through the alley and headin' for his craw!

Their doughnuts were on fire and they tasted like old grease
The coffee cups were broke and chipped and split along the crease
A bolt of fear went through him as they offered him a cup
Of the blackest joe he'd ever seen said to him "Drink up!"

Yippie yi Ohhhhh
Yippie yi yaaaaay
Ghost Hortons in the sky....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 03:23 PM

I hope not. We're less than halfway there.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 03:14 PM

Is this thread dead in the water?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 03:13 PM

6 days without a post. I blame all these scare stories about orcas or killer whales as they're correctly known. Something more gentle please to attract the punters.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 05:00 PM

Well, I learned in Alaska that when you're near an orca you never yell "Bite me!" at it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 04:57 PM

Well... maybe something took a bite, didn't like him, and spat him to the crushing blackness.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 04:25 PM

Something must have liked him....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Feb 08 - 03:34 PM

Many years ago I worked at a sandwich shop in Iowa City with an Inuit woman. One day she said that her brother (who still lived in Alaska) had gone missing while on a hunt. He was not found and eventually she announced that he had probably been eaten. The way I recall it was that he had been hunting at sea and the authorities thought he ad been eaten by an Orca but I am a little fuzzy on that bit (it was a long time ago). She struck me as being rather detached during the whole episode. I never did figure out if that was her nature or if she just didn't like him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 06:32 PM

I myself did all of that at the same time. That qualified me for membership in the Idaho Legion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 05:47 PM

Yes, there is a test: You have to go way up north, chug a gallon of hard liquor down in under 2 minutes, then snowshoe across fifty miles of tundra, wrassle an Inuit woman, and have sex with a Kodiak bear...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 05:35 PM

Am I Canadian? I don't think so, how does one find out for sure? Is there a test? I am a member (in abstentia) of The Idaho Legion. Is that close enough?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 05:12 PM

Are you Canadian KB? Have I missed something? This thread's getting more confusing by the year.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 03:21 PM

Oh, yes! Indeed. Certainly.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 02:49 PM

I have to be a US Senator? Oh, dear, why didn't someone tell me before? Or did you mean that one must be a US Senator to be Canadian?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 01:21 PM

Little Hawk? He's Canadian, and I'm fairly sure you have to be a US Senator. At least I think you do.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 10:26 AM

I'm not a Senator but I have begin to wonder if perhaps he is.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 08:06 PM

You're not a US Senator, by any chance, are you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 04:42 PM

Yuck!

Well, too bad you didn't have one of those toy guns handy that shoots a suction cup arrow at the other person's forehead.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 03:46 PM

Many years ago I was in a stall at a large (for the time) mall. After a bit I felt uneasy and when I glanced up I saw a young fellow eye-balling me (as it were) from over the top of the stall. As soon as he saw me looking at him he pulled away. I tried to hurry up and finish my business but a minute or so later I looked up and there he was again. I felt really creepy for the rest of the day.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 11:45 AM

I've barely ever heard of Larry Craig either, but it may be because I hardly watch any TV.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 11:42 AM

Neither did most people outside of Idaho (and not everyone there) until recently.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 08:35 PM

Last week I was at a play (Lady Day, the Billie Holiday one. It was well done; the singer who portrayed her has a wonderful voice and can she act!)and during intermission followed a young woman into the restroom.

I lamented that my cubicle was out of tissue and said, Luckily I hve some in my pocket. She said, Hey, there's lots in here. Just wait a minute.

I put my hand under the wall, waiting and suddenly the ludicrous image hit me. I laughed and said, Darn. This reminds me of Larry Craig.

She had never heard of Larry Craig.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 02:21 PM

I prefer Weimie-on-a-stick.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 08:53 PM

Mmmmmmmmm! Cat...the OTHER white meat.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 12:27 PM

I'm a cat man myself but I prefer them live.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 01:40 PM

Hey! Anyone else tried Weimie-Burgers yet? They're great!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 04:32 PM

Was it a moist towelette? Enquiring minds want to know.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 04:29 PM

Speaking of beavers, I saw two of them last night in Rock Creek.

The National Sun Mirror reported that it was Condi who gave bathroom hand signals to Hillary but Hillary did not know what they meant so she passed her a towelette.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 04:21 PM

Back in 2000 my mom (a flaming liberal) said she thought W was good looking. Maybe after a night of throwing back a few he and Condi...well, I don't want to start rumors or anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 04:15 PM

I just bet that Condi is a furnace of smouldering passion after hours. ;-) What I can't figure, though, is why she would want to hook up with George Bush. Well, I guess it's the "power" thing. They say it's the ultimate aphrodisiac. And he has kept slim and trim too, that's something you don't see all that much at his age.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 03:16 PM

Nah, we duzn't git them round here. I hasta crost over intuh Illi-noise.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 03:10 PM

Yeah, them's the ones. It's about the only newspapers you kin git in Ioway.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 12:08 PM

Condi looks like the type that could be crazy after hours. W is documentd as such. Alien visits can no longer be doubted (the evidence is overwhelming) so yeah, I believe every word of it. These are the same papers where I learned about the bat-boy and the 800 lb baby (OK maybe he was a little under 800 lbs, I don't remember for sure).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 12:05 PM

It is, except for the part about the space aliens... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:57 AM

Well, these are the same papers that are covering the W-Laura divorce and how Laura is living in a hotel near the White House while W goes on drunken binges with Condi Rice and a couple space aliens. So yeah, it must all be true.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:16 AM

So are you saying Hillary might be a switch hitter? I can see that. That would be something, not just the first female president but the first lesbian in the bargain. A two-fer, as it were. If you read it in the paper it must be true.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 06:40 PM

Well, I dunno. I used to read the newspapers in the checkout lanes when Hillary was First Lady and from those headlines she might Winona more than LH. I mean, these are the same papers that have reported Saddam Hussein's submarines were in Lake Michigan and he had a love nest in New Jersey with Osama Bin Ladin, so I'm sure the news was accurate, balanced, and fair.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 05:32 PM

Hmmmm. That's quite an idea. I would definitely consider it with Winona.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 05:26 PM

Maybe you can get up a tag team with Winona & Hillary...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 05:22 PM

Ha! Dream on...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 04:54 PM

Maybe Officer Dana can be my beaver wrestling partner.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 04:04 PM

Frankly, I doubt that "Shane" would have known how to wrestle anything, much less a beaver. That boy was about a nut short of being a bolthole, and to say he had a screw loose would be giving him a lot more credit than he either needs or deserves.

But he's gone now. Poor "Shane" is daid, his remains drifting among the stars. Axolotl or whatever that guy's name was probed "Shane" so vigorously that "Shane" plumb exploded. Or maybe that should be "dumb exploded." Anyway, that's what my sources on the Intergalactic Board of Controls tell me.

Oh! Yes. Axolotl received a commendation for removing "Shane"'s DNA from the Universal Gene Pool. It was a dirty, filthy, job but someone had to do it.

Officer Dana wept for at least a nanosecond before asking, "Who?"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 02:43 PM

You'd better beleive that I will be first in line next time they have try-outs for the beaver wrestling team.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 02:30 PM

There ain't no beavers in Iowa. I've been to Iowa. I've even spent a couple of nights in Iowa, in Des Moines or Dubuque or one of those "D" towns and even in Avoca, and I've been to places like Ft. Madison and Keokuk dozens of times and I ain't never seen no beavers!!

So she must have been Canadian.

If only "Shane" were still with us perhaps he'd like to meet her.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 12:57 PM

Bandarlogs, nothing but Bandarlogs!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 12:17 PM

She was undoubtedly a charter member of Densa.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 10:50 AM

And so she was Canadian too, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 10:04 AM

Last night I stopped in the small grocery store in our small town to pick up a few things. The young lady at the register was a high school student in another small town a few miles down the road. I deduced this from her clothing, she was wearing a sweatshirt showing her support for one of the athletic teams at her school. On the front of her shirt in big, bright bold letters it said:
BEAVER WRESTLING

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 09:03 AM

You can get one that sits in your lap....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 11:03 PM

Densa, by the way, is the diametrical opposite of Mensa.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 10:58 PM

I think it's a kind of desk they call a secretary.I don't understand why you have to stand in front of it, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 09:55 PM

Or a prime candidate for Densa.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 09:52 PM

If she dated "Shane" she wasn't a devil. More like a human sacrifice.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 10:07 AM

She was a friend of Mitch Ryder. She was the inspiration for 'Devil With a Blue Dress'

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 09:22 AM

I think she used to date the late "Shane McBride."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 08:50 AM

Wasn't she a friend of someones? I seem to recall the name from somewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 08:26 AM

Or maybe Monica Lewinsky?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:16 PM

Either him or Professor Irwin Corey.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:03 PM

We need Bill Clinton to clarify those terms.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 04:57 PM

I think that depends on your definition of 'success' (or 'women').

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 04:30 PM

"all a sham"

Kind of like Shane's purportedly very numerous successes with women...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 03:06 PM

We decided it was all a sham. We think we were the victims of a pyramid scheme.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 02:47 PM

So did you cry for your mummy?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 04:24 PM

Back in '77 we stood in the rain for two hours waiting to get tickets for the King Tut exhibit at the Field Museum in Chicago. We were about 10 feet from the counter when the 'Sold Out' sign went up. That was a good time I can tell you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 03:21 PM

Nothing special...it was tootin' common.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 03:10 PM

Can you hear the tootin' of a whistle?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 12:38 PM

Clean up on track 2

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 09:43 AM

choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo TOOT TOOT! choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo TOOT TOOT! choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo TOOT TOOT! choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo TOOT TOOT! choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo TOOT TOOT! choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo TOOT TOOT!

CRASH!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:18 PM

All aboard the 85 Billion Express. Tickets please. Choo Choo

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 08 - 09:12 AM

I have heard, from my usual sources, that Don McBride was released on bail. He raised the money by pawning his non-defunct brother's collection of "Hustler," "Playboy," and "Playgirl" magazines (and thereby freed up entire room in his house).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 08 - 08:36 PM

Actually, "Shane", if you'd been there things would probably have been worse.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 02 Feb 08 - 08:11 PM

Holy flip, man! I just got the news, eh?

Blind River Slim has, like, predicted the worst flippin' winter in Blind River in a hunnert years from this Feb 2nd till spring!!!

And my big brother Don got arrested too in, like, the riot that got started, eh?

Man, if I only hadda been there it would not of happened like that.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 08 - 07:58 PM

Lots of trains pass through here. It's a major yard for the Union Pacific.

It is also a major trans-shipment point for intergalactic freight.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 02 Feb 08 - 12:03 PM

Here's the song

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Feb 08 - 11:03 AM

The Cane on the Brazos. I sense a song there. Anyone?

What used to be the Rock Island line still passes through here east-west. There was north-south line here, too. Those tracks were torn up years ago and now the right of way is a nature trail, except for the part just north of town where the owner plants corn there. The corn in the right of way is always stunted and looks awful, it would be nice if he would let it be part of the trail. The trail picks up again farther north and passes through West Branch, birthplace of Herbert Hoover.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 02 Feb 08 - 10:19 AM

What's a train? None pass through our town any more.Plenty of trucks do, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 08 - 05:43 PM

Ain't no more cane on this Brazos.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Feb 08 - 02:21 PM

There's a place near here where the train track makes a huge "S" bend over a 3 mile stretch of highway. You can get stopped 3 times by the same friggin' train on that road!!! And I have been.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Feb 08 - 02:02 PM

Got stopped by a train again this morning. As I was coming up to the crossing a few miles outside of town I saw it off to the left. It got to the crossing just before I did so I sat and listened (rolled down the window today as the temps were in the low 20's (-5 C)). The train was heading the same direction I was, in the summer I can usually race ahead and beat it to the crossing in the little town up ahead. This train was a long one and going pretty fast. We got a bit of snow last night and the roads are kind of slippery so I had to take it easy. Up the hill on the bend there was a van in the ditch, one wheel was suspended about three feet off the ground. At the turn there was a car with a crumpled fender in the ditch. As I came over the hill in the next town I saw the engines going by below. I sat and watched the train go by again. Good thing I like trains.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 06:42 PM

Don't wash your countertops and eventually the same thing will happen. And at considerably less cost.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 05:19 PM

On a lighter note -

The threads about dream cabinets for Obama and Bobert reminded me of a commercial I have seen a couple of times while watching the morning weather on TV. Some local outfit is advertising their kitchen remodeling. One of the things they will do is spray some stuff on the countertop that resembles artificial stone. Then you can have fake fake stone countertops. Is America great or what?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 09:39 PM

Well, the nights are long and cold in Russia (just ask Hitler or Napoleon) and you gotta do something for fun. If you're Catherine the Great or Ivan IV it's no problem, but for the average Russian, well....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 01:41 PM

It's the very long, bitterly cold winters and the Vodka. A deadly combination. Guess why it's called "Russian Roulette"!!!

Popular Russian T-shirt: "Are we depressed yet?"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 10:27 AM

Infanticide, that's always good for a chuckle. Those crazy Russians.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 05:46 PM

And if you think they're depressing in English, you ought to read them in Russian.

One of my favorite Russian plays is Gorki's "The Lower Depths" -- especially the part about killing the baby.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 05:24 PM

I read C&P and The Brothers K (Bobok as well) when I was young and nihilistic. Haven't really looked at them since. Good thing I guess, The Cap'n & Tenille would likely drive me over the edge. Pawnbroker women beware.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 04:34 PM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 04:30 PM

I'd highly recommend them to anyone who was annoyingly cheerful. "Jude the Obscure," for example, is kept in a special waterproof jacket in libraries because it brings its own raincloud with it. "Crime and Punishment" is only issued in an edition that plays "The Best Of The Captain and Teneille" when it's opened. "The Brothers K." was to include the music to "It's A Small World After All" but even the gummint figgered that was more likely to drive people to suicide than to prevent it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 10:57 AM

So you wouldn't recommend them for the beach?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 08 - 10:21 PM

No. I find Dostoevsky, like Thomas Hardy, could cloud up and rain on the Resurrection.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Jan 08 - 04:52 PM

Spooky.

How about Bobok, have you read it? Not one of Dostoevsky's best but germaine to the subject (unless I am completely mis-remembering it, I didn't check).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 08 - 02:33 PM

No, we'd never discussed it before. And in fact he brought the subject up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Jan 08 - 02:00 PM

Rapaire, had you said anything to your brother about your experiences at the cemetery before the same thing happened to him?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Jan 08 - 01:49 PM

Look really close at the video in the link Donuel posted. Check the third UFO from the left. Looks like someone taking a whizz out the door. Could it be Shane?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 08 - 09:37 AM

I don't think we're much the center of anything except in our own imaginations.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 10:40 PM

"Why would they let themselves be seen?"

For the same reason we let ourselves be seen by chimps and penguins and spiders when we are out doing photography for National Geographic, Rap.

They aren't worried about our puny little capabilities to interfere with them!

I mean, hell, I saw some ships back in the late 60's that pretty well HAD to be alien craft. I've met quite a number of trustworthy individuals, including professional pilots, who'd have similar experiences to mine...and then some. I've heard testimony from professionals and government people from Jimmy Carter on down about THEIR personal sightings of what they feel must have been alien craft.

So the visitors ARE letting themselves be seen...because we CAN'T flippin' DO anything about it anyway, so why should they give 2 hoots whether a few of us see them or not????? (specially when those few are not even believed by the rest....)

Plus, Rap, I don't think they're all coming from just one place, and I don't think they are all tied to exactly the same agenda.

There may well be some of them who operate in stealth mode, and others who do not, for a simply tremendous variety of possible reasons...and this planet may be just a rather minor stop on their travels. An interesting place to observe now and then.

We may think we are the center of the Universe, my friend, but I seriously doubt that anyone ELSE thinks we are.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 09:51 PM

Do I believe there is intelligent life elsewhere in the Universe?

Yes, and that it comes around once in a while for a good laugh.

Seriously, if extraterrestrial folks are coming a-visiting, why would they let themselves be seen? If they have mastered travel through space-time-other dimensions-what have you, they certainly could operate in a stealth mode.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 09:06 PM

Holy flip, eh?

Major flippin' accomplishment!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 09:03 PM

2,600. THAT'S something you can believe in!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 09:03 PM

And?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 08:17 PM

???

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 04:38 PM

Have you read Bobok by Dostoevsky?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 04:22 PM

You should have worn a sign on your chest and back when working in that particular place that said...

"Yeah? Screw you! What are you going to do about it? I'll stay here just as long as I bloody well want to, so there!"

....and then you could have observed if the hostile feelings you were receiving got any stronger. ;-) It wouldn't be the kind of evidence that would serve to necessarily convince anyone else, but it would still have been an interesting experiment, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 03:39 PM

I used to make and set gravestones. You know, those pieces of engraved rock they use to mark graves? Well, whenever I worked in the local Jewish cemetery I would get the feeling of "Finish your work and shove off, you don't belong and aren't wanted here!"

Some years ago my brother, who followed me in the business, told me he experienced the same thing.

No other cemetery projected that feeling, and we worked in a LOT of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 02:58 PM

Don't blame me, Donuel started it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 02:16 PM

"pair of" ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 01:50 PM

My wife believes in ghosts and other such pair of normal things, I am more skeptical. Sometimes I experience something and think to myself that if she had been there she would have chalked it up to ghosts (or whatever) while I think it was a trick of the light (or whatever). I am open to the possibility that she may be right.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 01:34 PM

If I ignore my lieing eyes, ears and electric field perceptions, I too would not believe in such pair of normal things.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 01:32 PM

"I have experienced what can only be called hostile feeling directed at me while I was working in a cemetery."

I am dying to find out more about this.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 01:31 PM

Reliable proof of all such things is pretty much limited to one's own direct experience.

Having had a wee bit of direct experience myself, I have all the proof I need.

And that's the way it works for most people....although there are a good many people who will believe anything at all if CCN or somebody like that on the TV says it's true... ;-)

They are the "daddy knows best" type, I guess. I don't see it that way, not having ever had much trust in Big Brother.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 01:25 PM

Show me undoubted proof of UFOs, ghosts, or anything, and I'll accept it. I've changed my mind about a lot of things over the years, accepting what I used to doubt. And I'm not talking about sticking my hand into the wounds, either -- just evidence that can be explained in no other way.

Take ghosts, for instance: I have had no experiences with them, but I have experienced what can only be called hostile feeling directed at me while I was working in a cemetery.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 01:17 PM

Right... (grin)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 01:14 PM

I really can't agree with you there LH and I can't think of anything you could say to make me change my mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 01:09 PM

Interestingly enough, a neighbour of ours had a sighting a few nights ago. A pretty detailed one. I have no reason to doubt her.

Anyway, what the hell, I've seen some myself but it was way back in the late 60's.

I just shrug at people's attitudes about such matters, because their attitudes reflect nothing more, generally speaking, than their desire to continue rigidly clinging to whatever they already think, and to automatically oppose anything that is different.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 12:58 PM

Dear God, NO! Tell me they're not bringing "Shane" back!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 09:58 AM

Sort of makes being stopped by a train seem rather mundane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 09:19 AM

So we were watching some balloons http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxEcHrsJuoQ&NR=1

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 09:13 AM

Dreaming about winning the Nobel Prize for Librarianship is something everyone, even "Shane," has done?

Wow!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 11:15 PM

Hey, man, I have, like, had them dreams too...know'm sayin'?

It happens to guys. Specially when you been alone too long and stuff...

I'm not sayin' it's happened to me lately. But it has happened.

You got nothin' to be ashamed of, Rap, so don't let it get to ya, okay? It's a nacheral thing.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 11:10 PM

Omnipresent dreaming? Far out!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 09:47 PM

What makes you think I do all my dreaming in the bedroom?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 08:52 PM

What one does in one's bedroom is nobody else's business.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 05:42 PM

I'm not going to tell you about my dreams. Too embarassing and y'all might get too excited.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 05:39 PM

He sure can KB, he sure can.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 04:25 PM

Yes, I suppose I was over-reaching. A fellow can dream though.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 04:09 PM

You certainly know how to make folks feel guilty KB. Your train story was very enjoyable and, for a few moments, I too was a passenger on your journey to work, though I live many miles away (over 95 I'm sure). However I think it will be a millennia before we ever have a controversy like the green tomato debate.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 03:12 PM

I have been feeling a bit let down. As I was finishing my drive to work last Friday I was so excited about sharing my train story with my 85B brethren I could hardly contain myself. I was expecting this to kick off such a round of back and forth as to rival the great tomato debate of years gone by. Alas, my dreams have been squashed flatter than a penny left on the tracks as the morning freight rolls through.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 02:39 PM

Awake and post, we have work to do.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 19 Jan 08 - 09:07 AM

KB in Iowa: You need the bumper sticker that reads "If you can read this you'd better be a hemmorhoid!" The printing is appropriately small.
The alternative would be a retractable battering ram.(If none are available they should be.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 Jan 08 - 10:26 AM

I got stopped by a train on my drive to work this morning. I cross the tracks twice, once in the country and again as I pass through a small, unincorporated, town. The train was at the latter of the two. The crossing is at the bottom of the hill and I sat and watched and listened as the train clickety-clacked past. I turned off the CD player so I could really hear it. If it wasn't so cold (5 F this morning) I would have rolled down the window, that is what I usually do. As I looked to the left I got a great view of the train passing in front of the old grain elevator, it was wonderful. After the train had passed and we started going again I must not have gotten up to speed soon enough as the fellow behind me went roaring past. He was still only just in front as we got to the next town and had to slow doan again, probably gained about 5 seconds for his trouble. Still, I was happier for it because it meant he wasn't riding my ass the whole way.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 08 - 03:40 PM

Hard to believe he's not among us anymore. Sure couldn't tell by the smell!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 17 Jan 08 - 03:03 PM

Hear, hear, K.B.!Here's to dear Shane, but let's hurry to celebrate his life. After all, he (or she) who "hops" to it will surely get a "head".

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Jan 08 - 01:28 PM

I say we all have a beer or six (maybe a two-four if you're up to it) in Shane's honor. It's the least we could do for the least among us.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 17 Jan 08 - 11:34 AM

Man, that tribute brought tears to my eyes!

   No, nay, never,
   No, nay, never no more
   Will Shane be a rover,
   No, never no more.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 08 - 09:56 AM

Yeah, I figgered he needed SOMEONE to steal write something sorta nice about him. Like my momma allus said, "Don't say bad stuff about dead folks, 'cept when it's mostly true or can't be proved wrong."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 11:06 PM

LOL!!!

Man, I was in tears reading that, and I bet it would have that effect on purtineer anyone who lives around Blind River.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 10:58 PM

Poor "Shane" is dead
"Shane" McBride is dead
All gather round his coffin now and cry
He had a paunch from beer
And it was settlin' in his rear
Oh why did such a feller have to die?

Poor "Shane" is dead
"Shane McBride" is dead
He's now oh so peaceful and serene
His life it was a botch
And his hands are acrost his crotch
His fingernails have never been so clean

[spoken]
Then the preacher'd get up and he'd say
"Folks, we are gathered here to mourn and groan over our brother "Shane" McBride
Who did hisself in by drinkin' and messin' with Sudbury skanks"
And then there'd be weepin' an' wailin' -- from some of those women --
Then he'd say, "Shane" was the most misunderstood man in this territory
People used to think he was a mean ugly fella and called him a poxy drunk and an ornery pig stealer and they was mostly right"
But

[sung]
The folks that really knowed him
Knowed that beneath them two filthy shirts he always wore
There beat a heart as big as all outdoors
"Shane" McBride loved to "touch" his fellow man

[spoken]
He loved the birds of the forest
And the beasts of the fields
He loved the mice, and the lice in his shirts
And he treated the rats like equals (which was right)
He loved all the hostesses at Tim's
He loved two-fours and everybody in the world
Only . . . only he never let on
And nobody ever knowed it

[sung]
Poor "Shane" is dead
"Shane" McBride is dead
His friends are weepin' wail for miles around
Blind River in the dell
Will give out a better smell
Because poor "Shane" is underneath the ground

Poor "Shane" is dead
A candle lights his head
He's layin' in a coffin made of wood
And folks are feelin' sad
'Cuz his hangover was bad
And they know them aliens feasted really good

Poor "Shane" is dead
A candle lights his head
He's lookin' oh so purty and so nice
He looks like he's asleep
It's a shame that he won't keep
But it's summer and we're runnin' out a' ice

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 09:42 PM

Flip YOU, looser-boy!

I am doin' real good here. I just lernt how to operate this here thingy that repticates beer and pizza. ARtixes shown me how. It is way cool, eh? I plan to make a flippin' HUGE pizza that the whole flippin' crew can, like, chow down on, eh?

This is the life. I totally pity you dipwad flippin' idiots that are livin' in Idaho where everything stinks!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 06:37 PM

Yup. It's owl over for poor ol' "Shane."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 05:53 PM

At least he passed on content. After all, he found out WHOOOO put the squeak in his treat.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 05:29 PM

Yup, that fits "Shane" to a tee: a mouse bone in owl poop.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 05:24 PM

And when you think about it, are we not all just mouse bones in the owl pellet of life? Dear, dear Shane. We hardly knew ya.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 05:19 PM

I'm certain it was about "Shane," who always was an owlhoot.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 04:52 PM

I am broken up about the demise of "Shane"

It has been a struggle just to carry on. I have tried posting to 85B but just have not been able to, the pain is still too fresh.

Just when it seems I am working through it something happens. Just last night, for instance, I was laying in bed and heard an owl hoot (remember the owls?). Just one owl though, not two like it was before, and s/he flew off after only two whooos. I can only assume that the owl was confirming that Shane has gone, possibly for good.

What is to become of us?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 04:41 PM

Seems no one is biting at the moment. Is this thread going to the dogs? Are we all barking?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 10:31 AM

Just look in the window. ("How Much is That Doggie in the Window" arf arf)......If the price is right...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 10 Jan 08 - 09:41 AM

I can't get a long little doggie, I can't even get one that's small
I can't get a long little doggie, I can't get a doggie at all

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:39 PM

If given proper exercise and companionship, they can be extremely lively and capable dogs, and they have great personalities too.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:04 PM

My friend Mary's last dachshund was treated for back problems; it cost her over USD2,000 but you DON'T just chuck responsibility. His name was Corny (Cornelius) and he was a very giving dog -- he developed a stomach cancer, but put up with the Vet School at Purdue University working him over to see if various treatments might help other dogs in the future.

Her current dog, Huey, was raised for his first year to be a show dog. We believe it nearly abusive -- Huey will only sleep in his crate, for example.

Dachshunds are pretty danged good dogs, all in all.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 06:07 PM

it's true!

Get well soon Les!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 05:59 PM

I'm not sure if it's true or not. Younger and slimmer dachshunds have no trouble at all climbing stairs, and I suspect that while having an erection would interfere a bit...it would not stop the little rascal if he was determined!

When they get overweight, however, then they begin to have real trouble with climbing stairs even at the best of times, and they can suffer back injuries quite easily.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 05:40 PM

The original was "Shanes With Erections Can't Crawl Up Stairs."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 05:37 PM

Could be both.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 05:26 PM

Is that a song or a poem? Probably a poem. I heard it once long ago but I can't remember.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 05:21 PM

In this part of Quebec we have not had much rain.Thank God because we had lots of snow. It has gone down a lot but a flood threat still exists. Today it's very mild here, about 15 degrees.
   Say, Little Hawk, out of a rather perverse curiosity, is it true that ,as Les Barker wrote in his song, "Dachsunds with erections can't climb stairs"? (males, of course)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 05:08 PM

We had about a foot of snow on the ground that the weekend of rain and 60 (F) temps has pretty much done away with. Our rain has now turned to snow BTW but I don't think it will amount to much.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 04:54 PM

Oh, boy! 3 days of melt here and the 2 feet of snow and ice that was piled on the roof has just about all vanished. Yippee! It may be completely gone by tomorrow.

The Dachshunds are happy with the rise in temperatures, but a bit disturbed by the rain and wet ground. Real summer soldiers, those guys.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 04:11 PM

I just checked the radar out your way Mr. President (presumptive) and it looks like you are in for it tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 03:44 PM

Are we? Thanks for the warning Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 03:38 PM

We're supposed to get up to 8 inches of snow by 5 p.m. tomorrow.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 12:45 PM

But not hailing? Well, at least he won't get a snow job.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 11:30 AM

It's raining here right now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 10:21 AM

HAIL TO THE CHIEF! LONG MAY HE REIGN!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 08:49 AM

And I didn't know you could do things like that without getting at least cramped up! You're really flexible.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Jan 08 - 04:30 AM

I have reconsidered my position. Congratulations Rapaire you are a worthy winner.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 08 - 09:37 AM

Sore loser. Now there will be "85 billion posters for truth" and other smear campaigns started.

Honesty and integrity are lost virtues, I'm afraid. But if IWTATBM does go negative...I have photos. Unretouched, certified, photos.

Just remember that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 04:33 PM

Re-count

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 04:29 PM

Nah, THIS gets my vote for Poster of the Year!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 01:58 PM

If I had been on top of my game I would have been sure to get post 2525 a la Zager & Evans. Oh, the lost opportunities of our lives.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 01:52 PM

I am here to anounce the winner of the highly coveted "Poster of the Year, 2007" award.

May I introduce the next President of the United States, Rapaire!

Really, I think the "Poster of the Year, 2007" award will be his springboard to the White House (see this thread for more info).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 01:44 PM

BTW happy new year to all posters on this great thread - you know who you are (optimistic eh). Now, back to the drum roll...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 03 Jan 08 - 01:38 PM

I can hear a drum roll.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 08 - 03:04 PM

Ya know, something just occurred to me.

I'll betcha Anorexia or whoever it is that took "Shane" probably DID "fix" him. It would make a lot of sense for them to do that. Probably just knocked him out with some sort of alien sleepy drug and hit 'em with a hammer -- squashed what little he had flatter'n a deflated basketball.

Yeah.

Poor ol' "Shane". Poor ol' deflated "Shane".

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 08 - 02:21 PM

And "Shane," if you were MY dog I'd have had you "fixed" long ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 01 Jan 08 - 01:30 PM

You are the sorriest flippin' looser that ever lived Rapaire! I flippin' feel for you, man...becoz you are flippin' LOST. I pity you. If you was my dog I would have you put down. That is all I got to say.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 08 - 12:22 PM

We have no "Shane."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 01 Jan 08 - 12:07 PM

Rapaire: I found your disclaimer slightly exaggerated albeit the picture is somewhat suggestive.YOU GO, SHANE! You rock!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 08 - 10:56 AM

Okay, "Shane." I've had it with you and your insults. I'm gonna post that picture the young women of Sudbury sent me, the one of you and your lover in a VERY compromising position. And note "who's on top", fliphead!

Folks, this picture is disgusting. If you're offended by gross pornography that features things like dribbling body fluids and much, much worse, DO NOT look here.   If you do, you might want something to throw up in close by.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 07 - 11:13 PM

"Shane McBride" has a "wide stance," just like Larry Craig.

Go on, ya stripped-thread bolthead. Deny it. I got PROOF, dipstick, PROOF. Them Sudbury skanks sent me PICTURES of you and...someone else.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 31 Dec 07 - 09:59 PM

Rapaire is a great big imposdor!
Rapaire is a great big imposdor!
Rapairie is a great big imoponsdor!
Rapeiern is a great big imonposter!

Eat that, dipwad!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 07 - 09:55 PM

"Shane McBride" does not exist!
"Shane McBride" does not exist!
"Shane McBride" does not exist!
"Shane McBride" does not exist!

How do you like THEM apples, Myth McBride?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 07 - 09:48 PM

Watcha wanna do, get me busted fer indecent exposure? Besides, it's going down to -13C tonight. You want me to freeze my family jewels off?

Besides, I ain't gonna let you anywhere near my goolies. You probably got one of them "wide stances" like Larry Craig does, ya prevert.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 31 Dec 07 - 07:42 PM

Yeah? YEAH???? You better hope so, flipface!

Awright...I know what's goin' on here and I am gonna blow yer flippin' cover right now, man.

YOU are not the real Rapaire at all! That's right. I am flippin' onto yer little game, dipwad. You have done flippin' away with the real Rapaire and took over his idenity. You know how I know this? It is by the flippin' total stoopiditty of yer posts lately, man! It is soooo flippin' obvious that you are not the real Rapaire becoz even he could not flippin' say such dumb idiot things as you have been sayin' lately.

You are not him. No flippin' way. You are a flippin' dejenerate who has kilt him and took over his computer.

And I am exposin' you to the world, baby!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 07 - 05:39 PM

"Shane" never would come to Idaho, for any reason at all. "Shane" had a strong survival instinct, knowing that if he came to Idaho he'd only leave in a bag. A garbage bag, not a body bag.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 31 Dec 07 - 05:12 PM

FLIP YOU, MAN!!!!! I am gonna get ARtixes and the guys to flippin' drop me off in Ida-flippin-Ho and I will kick yer flippin' ass! Then we'll see what you have to flippin' say about it!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 07 - 04:27 PM

What a pitiful and pitiable excuse for invective from someone who claims to be "Shane." No, this is not the "Shane" of old, the "Shane" who...this impostor, this hypocritical blatherskite, this nattering nabob of nothingness who claims to be "Shane" is unworthy to lick up the beer drooled by the original "Shane" as he lay, grease covered, his head in the spitoon and his feet in the toilet in Tim Horton's donut shop in Blind River.

What a terrible thing it is to lose "Shane"! He was our rudder, our sea anchor against the vicissitudes of life, who kept us on course when the typhoons and gales would blow us hither and yon.

And now he's nonexistent.

Qu'elle fromage.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 31 Dec 07 - 03:08 PM

Rapaire! You are the worst flippin' bolthole that ever lived! I would not flippin' beleeve in you neither, man, if I didn't KNOW already that you flippin' exist. You are sick. You are yesterday's flippin' barf on the Sudbury sidewalk, eh? That's what you are. I hope a flippin' tree falls on you. You are beneeth my flippin' content. That is how low you are.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 07 - 12:58 PM

I repeat: I no longer believe in "Shane." I have become an ashaneist.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 31 Dec 07 - 12:22 PM

At one point I was beginning to think I was the only one who wasn't Shane. What is one to do? Where is Artixes?

Will the real Shane McBride please stand up?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 07 - 10:12 AM

I am beginning to think that "Shane" does not exist, or at least no longer exists. The reasons are many and you will have to work them out for yourself, but compare the "Shane" who started this thread with the last "Shane" who posted.

And sigh deeply for He Who Is Forever Lost To Us.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 29 Dec 07 - 07:04 AM

I hear what you're saying KB - wink wink. I will get to work on the badge straight away and I can assure you that it will be worn with pride immediately after the official announcement.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 09:25 PM

I don't think that was from the real "Shane."

For one thing, his Sudbury sweeties really do seem to miss him. I had an email (via the Legion's email address) from someone named "Trisha Morrissey" who said that she really would like to find "Shane" -- something about applause I think, but her message wasn't very clear due to the invective she used (I really don't think that "Shane" is capable of doing what she suggests he do without considerable help, and even then it sounds very, very painful). Anyway, she has mentioned "Shane" to her father and brothers, all of whom seem to be miners or something, and they want to meet him too. I replied that I have no idea where "Shane" is, but if I did find out I'd be happy to forward the information to her. I suggested that she contact Don McBride in Blind River, who I believe is "Shane's" next of kin.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 12:57 PM

Merry Christmas to you Shane, and everybody else at 85B. I would also like to wish everybody a Happy Boxing Day. We don't do that one in the states but from what I learned about it last year we should.

BTW IWTATBM, I worked up a spreadsheet with all the entries from the year and had it updated throught he end of October (really). There is one contributor who was so far in front, and has been posting since, that there was no need to go beyond that. I will announce who the "Poster of the Year, 2007" is when the calendar turns and there is no longer any possibility of things changing. It would take a seismic shift for that to happen.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 01:21 PM

Hey, Rap-Man. I bet them Sudbury skanks flippin' miss me, eh? I bet the cops do too. I was, like, the light of their lives, man! I am the stud muffin they all dream of (or wish they was), eh?

Well, I hadda expalin to Atrtixes and the guys here about Christmass becoz they did not know nothin' about it, eh? Not one thing. I told them about all the important pints like presents, decoratin' the tree, gettin' drunk, singin' flippin' Christmass corrals and all that stuff. Oh, and the baby Jesus too. And Santa Claus too. And the flippin' manger and all that, eh?

Man, are they ever flippin' confused about it. They can't flippin' make heads or tales of the whole flippin' thing, but they did the best they could fer me, eh? They come up with some stuff that is like eggnog with rum and you can drink all you want and get flippin' loaded but you dont' get hung over the next day, eh? Flippin' decent!

And they put on a great light show.

They seem to think that Santa Claus is the dad and baby Jesus is his kid, so I hadda straiten them out on that.

I have got all lotta work to do before they are reeally up to date on this, I guess.

Merry flippin' Christmass!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 11:15 AM

The Poster Of The Year 2007 award result will be upon us in less than a week now. In time honoured tradition it will be up to last year's winner to do the count and make the announcement. Who was that by the way? I'm so exited and confident about the outcome that I am already designing a new badge which I shall wear with pride.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 12:41 PM

Merry Christmas, "Shane," whoever and where ever you are. I am authorized to inform you that the Sudbury scags miss you and the warrant has been quashed.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 11:45 AM

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to all who have posted to this thread! It's been a blast!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 11:34 AM

Here's wishing all regulars and occasional visitors on the 85 billion thread a very merry Christmas.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 10:23 PM

his heart.

(2,500 is mine!!)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 10:23 PM

whatever passes for

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 10:23 PM

the bottom

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 10:22 PM

you from

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 10:22 PM

thank

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 10:22 PM

probably

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 10:21 PM

would

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 10:21 PM

"Shane"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 10:21 PM

fact,

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 10:21 PM

In

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 05:03 PM

No doubt. None at all. Go right ahead and do it. "Shane" won't mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 05:00 PM

ÈÝëù íá áêïýóù ðåñéóóüôåñïõò ãéá ôá Shane's ôáîßäéá. ÏðïéåóäÞðïôå åéäÞóåéò?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Dec 07 - 04:23 PM

My kid is a member of the "Save the Manatees" club. We send them money and they send us a brochure and a form asking for more money.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 07 - 09:37 AM

It's Dutch, and IWTATBM is actually a secret agent for the manatees of the Dutch East Indies, sent to spy out the location of "Shane" so that they can assassinate him with a poisoned Tim Horton's donut (as if you could tell the difference between poisoned and regular).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 11:05 PM

IWTATBM: Shane doesn't understand. I think he's barking up the wrong tree and thereby hangs a tail...Translation, please? After all, this gives us pause.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Dec 07 - 06:08 PM

Wie affiche van het jaar zal zijn?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 07 - 11:24 AM

First -- and only -- thing "Shane" ever read was the Simpson's catalogue that was hangin' in the outhouse. He got so excited by the pictures of women's underwear that he figgered no book could ever be better.

For many years he didn't know that there was actually skin under those pictures of women in their long woolies and the first time he saw a woman in a bikini he was so surprised he fainted dead way, spilling his beer on the way down (and it was the last one). After he came to, all he could say for weeks was "Ah...gaaa...ah!" Finally, brother Don slapped him upside the head with a 2x6 and sort of "rebooted" ol' "Shane."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Nov 07 - 12:18 PM

Tasering of a person with that much alcohol in the blood is quite hazardous.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 30 Nov 07 - 12:15 PM

Does the RCMP and Dubya know about this undercover reading material?
   
    Poor Shane! I wouldn't want him tasered or be a victim of a surge.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 07 - 12:14 PM

He's also probably inilluminate.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Nov 07 - 09:46 AM

I would doubt that Shane has a lot of books lying around. Probably has a stash of magazines under the mattress though.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 07 - 07:01 PM

No, wait. Come to think of it I can just use English. The boy, is, after all, both innumerate and distant from bibliophilia. Were a tome to somehow reach his hands I doubt that he could perceive the value therein. A true bibliophobic is rare, but I think we have a rarity here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 07 - 06:56 PM

Good. I can call "Shane" things in languages other than English, parce-que il est un gross cochon, un batarde de l'eau premier, vraiment, une tete-du-merde.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 07 - 11:22 AM

Shane cannot parlay la fronsay to save his life. He just knows a couple of useful ephithets and phrases in French. I shan't repeat them here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 29 Nov 07 - 10:14 AM

Perdoname. No hablo espanol. Est-ce que Shane sait parler français?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 07:53 PM

Donde esta "Shane"? Con las cervazas?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 04:56 PM

Mas cervezas, por favor!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 03:45 PM

Mas bien que ti, hombre! Mucho mas bien.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 03:37 PM

Hola cada uno. Es usted bien? Estoy bien.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 07 - 11:09 AM

He has been provided with a genuine Ronnie Ray Gun that not only shoots sparks when you pull the trigger, but lights up if he put the batteries in correctly.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 18 Nov 07 - 09:02 AM

For Gawd's sake, don't let W have a taser; things could get even more tragic than they are now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 11:44 AM

W is a member of the RCMP, or at least thinks he is. He's been seen around the White House playing Dudley Do-Right, with his wife as Nell and Cheney as the horse.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 04:43 PM

But one of the Shanes is a member of the RCMP. W would be completely flummoxed by that, not that anyone could tell the difference.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 04:15 PM

Watch it there, buddy!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 09:29 AM

Because "Shane" is Canadian, sort of, Dubya has elected to have the Keystone Kops RCMP investigate.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 07 - 01:03 PM

There's a lot of subversive stuff happening here, no doubt about it. I'm surprised Homeland Security has not taken stern measures by now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 15 Nov 07 - 11:53 AM

Should we petition George Dubya to instigate an investigation of Mudcat?

       After all, there could be weapons of math destruction in this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Nov 07 - 10:04 AM

I have to agree, LH. 85 billion seems somehow less formidable when viewed in that light.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 06:40 PM

Well, actually, I think our chances of reaching our objective are slightly better than George Bush's.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 04:00 PM

When I was in college I kept getting slapped for trying to reach my objective.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 03:46 PM

Like George Bush, you say? I suddenly have qualms.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 01:15 PM

We, like George Bush, are determined to reach our objective!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 01:12 PM

Not to worry, topical tom, they all count and they all matter. Nothing half-way about this thread, nosiree.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 12:33 PM

ROFL! This counts as a post, I hope!It's just too funny!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 08:58 AM

He's also chased by squirrels who want to store him for the winter.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 01:40 AM

He does. Usually after a few too many beers and no female company. Most weekends, in other words.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 13 Nov 07 - 11:30 PM

I remember watching "Destination Moon" three times in the same week back when I was younger. But I wasn't spaced out, just moonstruck.

    To put it in other words, I found nothing cheesy (green or otherwise)about the moon.

    I wonder if Shane ever howls at the moon.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 07 - 11:18 PM

Is that a ray gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 03:35 PM

We LOVED Astro Boy when we were kids. A few months ago I was at a second hand store and saw a 5-disc set of Astro Boy DVD's for something like $15. My boys (ages 9 and 12) now LOVE Astro Boy (especially the 9 year old). Some of the names are different, the guy we know as Dr. Elephun (he has a very large proboscis) is now Dr. O'Shay. It is also in color, the original was b/w. I wonder if the plots are at all the same, I really don't remember them from the 60's. It certainly has the same feel, this little robot fighting evil and injustice, always triumphing even when his adversary is 10 times his size.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 02:33 PM

As "Shane" now sees himself....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 08:29 AM

I think we ought to change the boy's name to "Shane the Starsaver." Just think of his future in anime or in cartoons: "StS meets Yogi Bear" or "StS Meets the X-Men" or "The Inedible Hunk vs. StS."                                                                                                

Goodnes, but the mind boggles at the very thoughts!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 11:10 AM

Or perhaps "Streamin' Shane McBride"?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Nov 07 - 01:05 PM

Except that I don't think our Shane showers regularly. Maybe it could be a sort of ironic nickname.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 07 Nov 07 - 09:17 AM

Or "Showerin' Shame McBride"?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 07 - 06:21 PM

That has been suggested a number of times, actually...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 07 - 06:05 PM

Perhaps it would be more to the point and less confusing if he were to be renamed "Shame" McBride.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 07 - 06:02 PM

There are probably several people in Canada named Shane McBride. McBride is a common surname and Shane is a relatively common given name. Someone I know actually knew a certain Shane McBride when she was in high school...and it was not the same Shane we know and love on Mudcat.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 06 Nov 07 - 03:39 PM

Seems the 85 thread is home to many mysteries KB. I wonder if one day, many years to come, some bright spark will provide an answer to the dog calling card mystery. Unfortunately it's unlikely that any of us will be around to appreciate the answer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Nov 07 - 04:58 PM

On a related note - what do you suppose was up with the guy who claimed he was named Shane McBride and was a member of the RCMP? He really sounded pissed (this was quite a while ago). I actually went to the RCMP site and tried to find him but came up empty. He said what city he was from but I don't remember now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Nov 07 - 04:55 PM

Then you must cut the Gordian Knot and be free! Run loose and let your hair flow in the breeze (unless you are bald, not that there is anything wrong with that).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 05:47 PM

With all these posts and the long thread, does anyone feel like Gulliver in Lillupitia?

       I'm beginning to feel tied down.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 01:28 PM

Oh, the hard, cold truth....that hurts!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 12:45 PM

Yeah. I hear one of the Sudbury girls said to another, "Say, whatever happened to...you know, skank-boy...the short wannabee stud who didn't bathe often...." and the other replied, "Let's go to Tim's for some coffee."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 11:19 AM

Yeah, right.... I KNOW you flipheads are all missin' me, like, big time, eh? Cos you need a flippin' roll moddle to, like, live yer lifes by and now I am not arownd no more. Too flippin' BAD! Ha! Ha! I am croosin' out here in the flippin' Gulf of the flippin' stars, man. I am the one flipper that can save the flippin' Univearse. I bet you wish you was me. Ha!

But you know who flippin' misses me the most? The girls back home, man. I bet they are all cryin' for me. Maybe even Officer Dana misses me and cries a tear or two. I know I miss her.

Aww..flip! Now I am gettin' all depressed. This is yer fault!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 10:24 AM

We will?

Oh, yeah, okay, we will.

But why?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 06:41 AM

When the Greys said they were putting him first he must have got the wrong end of the stick. Farewell Shane we will miss you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 07 - 05:12 AM

I believe that the Greys have turned "Shane" into an entree. Like Kobi beef, they were just getting him pickled enough to be tender, juicy, and tasty -- sort of a living marinande.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 09:44 PM

Nuns in grade school, Christian Brothers in high school, Franciscans in college.

What do you think?

(I know several Franciscans, followers of the gentle Francis of Assisi, who annualy hunt and kill deer and ducks.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 03 Nov 07 - 02:42 PM

If one did the hose thing with Shane, Im afraid the beer would lose its head and tail off.

    That would be a bummer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 11:13 AM

Rapaire, mah man! Are you another of those people who had to deal with a lot of nuns when you were going through the tender years of childhood and adolescence??? That must have been quite trying at times...

I think it could go a long way toward explaining your present rebellious streak, this fondness you have for violence and implements of destruction, know'msayin'? (grin)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 07 - 09:26 AM

You can tighten or loosen it as needed. The wrapped part permits the cord to slide nicely, tightening and loosening as you wish. I would recommend a silken cord and not the one illustrated, which would be too scratchy.

(That really is the second knot I learned to tie. And you should have seen the nuns react when one of them walked into a classroom full of second graders who where tying them into the window shade strings. You can only imagine!)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 11:58 PM

Oh, no, Rapaire. You misunderstood. I want this 'canary capo' to be under my own control, no one else's. I am not stupid. Am I?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 10:02 PM

Take a piece of cord and make a double bight about a third of the way up from one end. Using the bit that dangles off the "up" bight, form a loop and begin wrapping the excess cord around the double bight. When you reach the end (of the bight or the cord), shove the bitter end under the "up" bight loop and pull to tighten the bitter end in the bight.

The first, original throat capo. And the first knot I learned to tie after I learned to tie my shoes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 31 Oct 07 - 05:24 PM

I think we'll never know about the dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 29 Oct 07 - 04:35 PM

That could be the sticky point, so to speak.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Oct 07 - 04:31 PM

Chongo knows a fair bit about insertions. "Artful" ones? I'm not sure about that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 29 Oct 07 - 02:30 PM

I was trying to find out how to insert something artuflly and was having no success. I decided to 'just f*cking google it' and this thread came up as #7 on the list of hits. I still didn't find any helpful info so we will have to figure out some other way to insert the bells. Maybe Chongo can help here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 28 Oct 07 - 05:35 PM

Oh goody. You're taking suggestions? I'm thinking along the line of little bells artuflly inserted.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 07 - 04:58 PM

Got something in the works here already. Spring-loaded. I showed it to Chongo and asked if he would volunteer to be the first to test it out.

He looked me right in the eye and said....



















"You think I'm stupid, don't you? Take it to Washington and test it on George Bush instead..."


As for the color, I'm thinking it might be nice in Avocado...with silver trim. Sort of an Art Nouveau approach.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 28 Oct 07 - 02:55 PM

Please check with me before you decide upon colors, Little Hawk.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 07 - 09:56 AM

What a great idea. The throat capo. I'll start working on it at once.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Oct 07 - 11:43 PM

Are you serious about making money? I have a sure fire idea. Hear me out:

My voice is low and my vocal range deficient. If you - any one of you or even a consortium - never fear, there will be money enough for all - figures out how to design a reasonably comfortable capo large enough to be applied to my throat, complete with instructions, I'm your man, so to speak. There is money to be made. Mind you, it will have to be guaranteed. No fool, me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 11:14 PM

All these posts, this long thread. I have a sneaking suspicion that someone is stringing me a line.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 09:08 PM

2417 is divisible....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 07:42 PM

But I will NOT make it easy for the next poster. Nooooooooooooo!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 07:42 PM

Yeah, that's it, "just".

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 07:41 PM

just

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 07:41 PM

Ah, yes. The anticipation. I can HEAR people jsut jockeying to get post 2417.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 07:38 PM

Do y'all realize that post 2411 was a prime number and that 2417 will be also? A guy's gotta saty on top of these things . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 05:21 PM

SHOCKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can they even THINK of not giving the Shatman a role in this new production? Are they bent on commercial suicide? Are they completely mad???????? Stay tuned for further disturbing revelations...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 04:06 PM

Horrors!

Shatner: How come I'm not in new 'Star Trek'

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- The original Capt. Kirk is disheartened he won't get to boldly go anywhere with his old pal Spock in the new "Star Trek" movie.
While Leonard Nimoy is reprising his role as the pointy-eared Vulcan in next year's science-fiction flick, William Shatner is not on board as Kirk.

"I couldn't believe it. I'm not in the movie at all. Leonard, God bless his heart, is in, but not me," Shatner, 76, told The Associated Press on Thursday. "I thought, what a decision to make, since it obviously is a decision not to make use of the popularity I have to ensure the movie has good box office. It didn't seem to be a wise business decision."

Director J.J. Abrams announced last summer that Nimoy would reprise the role he originated opposite Shatner in the 1960s television show and played again in six big-screen adventures.

Abrams said Shatner probably would have a part in the film, which is due in theaters in December 2008. But while Shatner said he had a couple of meetings with Abrams, nothing came of it.

Abrams' "Trek" film, whose plot is being kept under wraps by distributor Paramount, recounts an early adventure for the crew of the starship Enterprise, with Chris Pines as the young Kirk and Zachary Quinto as the young Spock.

The cast includes Karl Urban as Dr. McCoy, Simon Pegg as engineer Scott, John Cho as helmsman Sulu, Zoe Saldana as communications officer Uhura and Anton Yelchin as navigator Chekov, roles respectively originated by DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, George Takei, Nichelle Nichols and Walter Koenig.

Past "Trek" films presented an obstacle to the revival of Shatner's Kirk, who died at the end of 1994's "Star Trek: Generations."

But in science fiction, you can never truly say die. Spock was killed off in 1982's "Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan" then resurrected in 1984's "Star Trek: The Search for Spock," with Nimoy's Vulcan living on to co-star in three more films, two episodes of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and now Abrams' new movie.

"I've got a lot to do," said Shatner, whose current work includes the TV show "Boston Legal," narration for the Christmas spoof "Stalking Santa" due on DVD on November 6, and the prequel "Star Trek: Academy -- Collision Course," a novel chronicling Kirk and Spock's first meeting.

Shatner says of "Star Trek": "Having been in on the creation of it, I was hoping to be in on the re-creation."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 02:38 PM

. . . or Labatts.

I wonder whether the powers that be have taken three zeroes off the count of this thread.?!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 02:35 PM

Not if he drank Budweiser.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 02:34 PM

I fear also that the quality of the beer would deteriorate some before it reached the other end.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 02:20 PM

It'll have to be a hell of a long fence hose!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 02:03 PM

If we ran a hose from a barrel of beer through "Shane" from one end to the other, we could use him as a beer dispenser.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 01:56 PM

It all depends on his beer intake. More beers, more marks. And longer ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 01:39 PM

Yes, A.D. 2400 does seem a tad soon at one 'mark' an hour. I think the calculations might need to be checked again.

Hmmm... Maybe it is Shane who will have 85 Billion 'marks' by A.D. 2400. Since he is on a spaceship maybe the slowing of time, relative to earth time, will allow this. Discuss.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 08:08 AM

You did mean it would be 2400ad when the dog finished all his calling cards didn't you Peace? I thought it would be nearer 9600ad myself, but as I said, I'm no mathematiciam.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 08:04 AM

Thanks Peace, if I had the power I once wielded briefly I'd make you the thread's official mathematician. Unfortunately I learned to my cost that this thread has no place for dictators.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 10:55 PM

2,400 BTW.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 10:54 PM

From one of the Die Hard series of movies: "They fu#k you at the drive-through."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 02:49 PM

Could he have been refused service at the drive-through?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:21 PM

Gee, I wonder why "Shane" would do that....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 12:39 PM

Precisely the incident to which I was referring!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 12:35 PM

Yes, Shane actually got arrested once for "marking" a Tim Horton's donut shop. He marked the back wall by the parking lot. Seems that a couple of the girls who worked there ratted on him, and they got a photo too! It quickly made the rounds of Blind River and even wound up being used as evidence in court. Shane is still carrying quite a grudge about the "skanks" responsible for that little fiasco. Well, actually, he was primarily responsible for it, but you know what I mean...

My dog is capable of marking considerably more than a lousy 1 post per hour! I think he could easily handle a couple hundred posts in an hour, but he'd have to come back for a drink now and then, I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 09:28 AM

Given his history I would expect Shane to be more interested in 'marking' the area Tim Hortons' than any posts he may come across.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 08:58 AM

Yeah, but how many cards per hour (cph) would "Shane" leave? That should be computed both with and without beer. Perhaps the Greys can let us know "Shane"'s bladder capacity and output volume.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 08:42 AM

If he did, at say one calling card an hour, what date would finish? I haven't a clue but I'll bet some mathematician will be able to tell us. Peace is usually good at this sort of things - will someone contact him as a matter of thread urgency please.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 12:52 AM

85 billion posts would be quite a challenge to my dachshund. He would want to leave his calling card on every single one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 11:48 PM

But if it reaches 85 billion posts will it be threadbare?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:39 PM

I think that they're paper-training "Shane" and that they'll return him housebroken. He'll whine at the door when he needs to go "outies."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:36 PM

I think the Greys have shown great kindness and sensitivity. I'd rather have them in charge than the Republicans.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 04:36 PM

I'm not sure a fence of any length would keep out the Greys, seeing as how they have a spaceship. Perhaps if it were REALLY tall.

Then too, do we want to keep out the Greys? They have only done good so far, what with keeping Shane out of jail and away from the women. I do have concerns about their ultimate motive. I can't but wonder what (if anything) Shane is really being trained to do.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: topical tom
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 03:17 PM

It'll have to be a hell of a long fence!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 09:27 AM

David Icke makes for some pretty wild reading. Interesting, but I don't buy all of it. Shane may indeed be in pretty deep this time. I'm surprised the Greys would waste their time playing Euchre, but I guess they want to keep him happy and entertained.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 09:13 AM

I'm not sure there ever was a conscious part to "Shane."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 09:10 AM

I'm just reading a book by David Ike and fear Shane may be unknowingly having his DNA mixed with the Greys in order to create a new super race. We'll have to start taking the things he says with a pinch of salt as they could just be part of a master plan. The conscious part of poor Shane is likely to be completely oblivious to this however.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 02:37 PM

Not yet. When she puts the bite on him it'll be the end of him. Assuming that "Shane" is still a "him." I understand that those alien probes can, hmmm, ah, "change things."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 09:43 AM

So she bit him?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 09:36 AM

"Shane": The odds of you winning at euchre are about the same as you winning a free bit from "Big Tooth" Frannie over in Sudbury.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 07:24 AM

That is what, like, loosers do, eh? They lose! That is there flippin' perpuss in life, I think. the world has to have a lotta flippin' loosers so that the cool dudes...like me...can flippi'n lord it over them loosers. And get the babes. You know?

I been talkin' to Artixes and the boy about the flippin' total lack of babes out here in space. It is no flippin' good! They say they are gonna help me out with that, but they did not say when. They are so flippin' pashient about every flippin' thing that it drives me nuts!

Artixes and Meklor bet me again last night at Euchre. I now owe them 185 billion dollars or somethin' like that, but I think my winnin' streak is comin' up. I really do, eh? Yep, I am gonna clean there clocks any day now and when I do I will buy this spaceship right out from under the little flipheads and I will start givin' the orders around here! Then there will be a babe in every flippin' escape pod.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 12:25 PM

I have wondered what sort of ratings the ND games are getting on NBC. Dismal I would like to think, but there may some who normally wouldn't watch but will tune in to wacth them lose.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 01:35 PM

Yes, it's quite exciting to see whether or not they've put their pants on right way around or recognize a football or....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 12:48 PM

Not at all. I understand they actually got a first down last week, or maybe it was the week before.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 11:29 AM

Notre Dame football isn't boring this year....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 05:47 PM

I find them to be handy expressions.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 05:38 PM

Oh, and back to the question of 13 Oct. No.

We Americans have very short attention spans and soccer (futball) doesn't have enough games that end up with a 45-41 score. BORING!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 05:30 PM

Take a long walk on a short pier.

("Piss up a rope?" Have to admit, I haven't heard that one. Well, I don't 'have' to admit, but I will anyway)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 05:05 PM

Are these a contribution or has my request upset you Rapaire?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 04:47 PM

Get bent.
Go piss up a rope.
Bite me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 04:46 PM

No? OK how about this one then - a sure fire winner on the posts front.

Please list those 'handy US expressions'

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Oct 07 - 02:10 PM

Will football (soccer) ever take over as the number 1 USA national sport? Discuss.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 10 Oct 07 - 09:25 AM

Their gose thu naborhud.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 07 - 09:11 AM

Dear "Shane" (whatwhere ever you are),

My neighbor's house is going to be sold at a foreclosure auction.

Please don't even consider buy it. For one thing, we only have GOOD beer out here and not Molson's or Blue.

Thank you,
Rapaire

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 07 - 03:15 PM

Shane's grammer WAS a normal person. Both of them were. It's just the grandchildren (and only one of them) who is, well, ah....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 09 Oct 07 - 09:24 AM

So Shane, your vocabulary seems to have increased and your grammer is approaching that of a normal person. The Greys may be affecting you in ways you had not forseen.

You say they give you all the beer you want, eh? What about babes? A fellow has needs. If they are not met one way, they will be in another (Though I prefer not to think about that too much, thanks just the same. Rapaire has provided the seeds of a visual that I feel is best left alone).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 07 - 09:10 AM

Little test tubes
In the tube rack
Little test tubes full of baby goo
Little test tubes
In the tube rack
Everyone comes out all the same.

There's a gray one, and a gray one,
And a gray one, and a gray one,
And they all come from test tubes
And they come out all the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 Oct 07 - 11:51 PM

Whatever.

One thing that sorta bothers me about life with the flippin' Grays is this. Ya gotta shower EVERY flippin' day! I flippin' kid you not! They insist on it. They are total clean freaks! I have never been so flippin' clean in my life before. The shower is pretty neat. It ain't water. It is some kind of other stuff that works better, but I don't know what you would call it, eh? It looks a lot like water but is more steamy, sort of. Like heavy clouds of steam.

My opinion is that most girls would really flippin' go fer these showers that the Grays have and I am sorry that there ain't none here or I would try and get them in there for a personal demonstrashun of how it works. I have not seen any girls here. None. These flippin' Grays all look the same to me, and I think they only have sex once in 7 years or somethin'!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 07 - 10:55 PM

"Shane," it is hard for anyone to find exactly the right words to tell about you. A sooky cake? A rubby crackie? A wingy stoop-and-scoop?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 Oct 07 - 10:40 PM

So...I guess yer all just flippin' struck dumb with envy, eh? Nobody got nothin' to say? Well I sorta expected that. I am useta people bein' jealous of me. It's been goin' on that way as long as I can remember.

Even Don is wicked jealous of me, but he don't admit it to nobody. He would rather die than admit that his little brother has got him beat in every flippin' department that counts! You can take that to the bank and cash it, baby! He is flippin' dyin' inside with jealosy. Ha! Ha!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 Oct 07 - 04:06 PM

Hey, man, I am just croosin' here, eh? It is so cool in space. You would not flippin' belEEV it. I have been all over the flippin' place with Artixes and the boys and it is majorly cool. These here flippin' Grays are pretty flippin' smart, I have to admit. I tried teachin' 'em Euchre and they picked it up real fast. Now I get beat EVERY time I play! Holy flip. I can't believe it. The Blind River Euchre champ gets beat by a buncha flippin' little skinny guys who don't even care about sex most of the time. Holy flip. They are defanitly smart. No flippin' question about it.

They do not think like us at all. Can you believe it? I thought there was a flippin' E-Mergency or somethin' and that was why they took me. But they are sooooo patient. You would nto flippin' believe it. They don't even work up a flippin' sweat over the fact that there is a, like, threat out there to all life as we flippin' KNOW IT and it has got to be STOPPED! They are takin' their sweet time famillyerizin' me with all kinds of, like, culture stuff that I should know before I, like, go on the big mission. Geez.

Besideds, they think that this whole flippin' reality is just a temporary flippin' dream, so that is why they ain't too worked up about it.

Flip me.

I don't worry about it, though, becaose they can sympathize all the beer I want with a machine they got. It is majorly good beer. It beats Brador all to hell, eh? And I don't get no hangover from it. Un-flippin' beLEEVAble.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 07 - 03:44 PM

"Shane" is so busy saving the Universe that he, she, or it has forgotten her, his, or its old friends.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Oct 07 - 01:54 PM

I keep waiting for an update from Shane. He hasn't visited 85B in quite a while.

(When I am using a keyboard and want to type the word 'from' it almost always comes out as 'form' and I have to go back and fix it.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Oct 07 - 09:36 PM

Shane is not easily discouraged. When he gets an idea in his head...which happens on a few rare occasions...he clings to it like a lamprey. Consider the Universe saved. Or destroyed. Depending.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Oct 07 - 09:07 AM

So BDiBR's (aka Shane) mission is to save the universe. I think everyone will agree that we can all sleep easier knowing we're in his safe hands. I mean he usually comes out smelling of roses, Marys, Daphnes etc doesn't he? Why should we doubt things will be different this time. And saving the universe could be very beneficial to the long term success on this thread - let's not forget that. So, wherever you are let's now have a chorus of 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow' followed by three hip, hip, hoorays.

Snif

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 Oct 07 - 12:47 PM

The Universe may be destroyed soon, you say. Do you suppose this is connected with Shane's mission?

There may be some who would consider it 'better' but I think it falls short on the 'life' part of the equation.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Oct 07 - 11:54 AM

Hmmm CNN is starting the bogus war on Christmas polls and shouting matches early this year.

The poll said that 87% think Christmas represented well in malls and public spaces while 13% think xmas is being attacked.
The talking head brunette however spoke the words "13% think Christmas is represented well".

Have you also seen the total reversal of these vacuous and contentious polls when the talking head reads them aloud?

A reversal here, a decimal point there...a Supreme Court decision that says News shows have a right to lie and cover up any story they print or show...
jeez why even bother?   or is that the point....:(


Jay Leno showed the
USA Today that had the astronomy story (((The Universe may be destroyed SOON))) in their 'A better life' D section of their newspaper.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 07 - 09:50 PM

I also wear trews.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 03 Oct 07 - 09:41 AM

I think of pants as casual attire. Trousers are somewhat nicer while slacks are always at least somewhat dressy. Britches, I gotta start using that one more often, too. My grandpa used to call pants britches, good solid word.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 05:13 PM

I myself wear breeks. Or britches. Or breeches.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 05:04 PM

You'll be pleased to know that trousers continue to thrive here in England. I've never got used to the American reference to trousers as 'pants' - pants will always be synonymous with undergarments here.

Anyway that's my tuppence worth on the subject.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 02:34 PM

Sa then, Little Hawk, ye dinna kin a Scotsman....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 02:29 PM

Jeans are trousers that are slumming.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 02:02 PM

Hmmm... maybe that's why I am uncomfortable wearing them.

(As an aside, Wikipedia says that jeans are trousers but I see them as distinct.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 01:48 PM

Yes. You know a man is decent and reliable if he's wearing trousers.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 01:45 PM

My leg coverings for today don't qualify as trousers, they are of the jeans variety. Just yesterday, however, I wore a pair of tan trousers that needed ironing. I don't really like to wear trousers (not sure why, most likely suppressed feelings from my childhood) but I do so love the word. It makes me think of Fred Astaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 01:35 PM

You are so right! Do you favor dark or light trousers?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 01:17 PM

I think the word 'trousers' is sadly under-used these days. I hereby resolve to intersperse conversations with trousers whenever possible. Thank you for your time.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 10:40 AM

Here's a nice one.

Or maybe this one.

And another.

This just might be my favorite.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 02:21 PM

Wakey, wakey. Hey this is the first ever October 2007 post. I'll make a badge.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 09:54 PM

I have dimples growing out of my forehead. Is there some special significance to that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 05:31 PM

Mysterious, isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 03:50 PM

You get that, too?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 02:55 PM

What about when you get those little horns growing on your head? What's that all about?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 02:45 PM

Well, my eyesight isn't what it once was, can't vouch for the other. What about hair on the palms? No mention of that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 09:22 AM

I drew attention to myself once, and Sister Pugnicia whacked me a good one and screamed so the whole class could hear, "You're going to go blind and insane doing that!" Then she calmed down and said that I'd only go blind since I couldn't go to where I already was.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 05:46 PM

That's the trouble with attention. It's so often the wrong kind of attention.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 05:24 PM

I'm guessing that hollering "Free Beer" in the middle of the night would draw some attention. Not sure I really want that kind of attention, though, be it from Shane or some other source. Thanks for the suggestion but I think I'll try to come up with another way to draw Shane out of the shadows.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 05:23 PM

Not according to him. He swears that there are girls lined up from here to Albuquerque just panting for his company...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 05:02 PM

Whereas "Shane" usually only attracts flies and the police.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 05:02 PM

At the very least you'll attract attention.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 11:54 AM

Go outside the next time it happens and yell, "Free Beer! Getch'er free beer here, eh?"

If the 3rd owl is channeling Shane it will be there in a flash.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 11:13 AM

So this is like some cosmic thing or something. Last night, yes, LAST NIGHT, I got up to pee (that isn't the cosmic part, it's coming up next) and when I got back in bed I heard... drum roll please... The Owls! That's right, just days after discussing it here on the Mudcat, they came around to serenade me. Not only that but there were three, not just the two I have heard before. I am wondering if the third one is channeling Shane somehow. It had a call that was distinctly different from the original two.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 06:15 PM

Ain't nobody quite a low as "Shane."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 04:36 PM

Good on yer Shane, I see an honorary knighthood at the end of this. I'll have a word with HM when I next see her.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 01:58 PM

He always does.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 01:56 PM

Oh, yeah, I forgot to say... Nice to hear from you again Shane. Remember, aim low.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 01:54 PM

Good for you, Shane. Give those intergalactic bad guys hell, eh? And watch out for the Romulan ale! That stuff really hits you bad the next day.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 09:55 AM

An owl, perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 09:30 AM

LOOK! Up in the sky!

It's a bird!

It's a "Shane!"





No...it's a bird....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 09:08 AM

"Shane" is saving the Universe.

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay....

Did I ever mention that I'm really Don Cherry?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 09:42 PM

What is this flippin' flip about owls? ARe you people nuits or somethin? I'm savin' the flippin' univers and your goin' on about flippin' owls! And who cares if littel Hawk's dogs sleep all flippin' day or pee on his flippin' bed? I'm tryin' to SAVE THE FLIPPIN' UNIVERSE and you people don't care! Well, when it's saved you'll be flippin' bowing down in graditude and I'll just kick you in the goolies. Unless your a girl and have some beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 02:53 PM

Yes, I assume the owls are declaring territorial rights, but they do it so well.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 12:56 PM

Those owls are probably declaring territorial rights.

My dog does spend a great deal of the day sleeping, but he's too lazy to chase mice and squirrels. I know that's a pretty astonishing degree of laziness, but it's true. I think it's because the vet snipped off his little jewels when he was young that he is so lacking in initiative. The only thing that really moves him is food.

Perhaps the same would be true of the vet if the same operation had been done on him early in life...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 09:41 AM

We sometimes hear two owls hooting at night. They hoot to each other in a call and response fashion. One has a distinctly higher pitch than the other. I wonder which trees they are in. It has been going on for a few years now. I wonder if it has been the same owls the whole time, I don't know how long owls live. Whatever the story, it is a wonderful thing.

Our dog does not hoot under any circumstances.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 09:14 PM

Your dog hoots? I thought dogs barked and owls hooted. Have you checked to see if there is any owl in your dog's background? Perhaps your dog sleeps during the day, or chases mice and squirrels -- that would indicate owlism in the poor pup's genetics.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 06:57 PM

My dog doesn't give 2 hoots about O.J. or his arraignment.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 03:17 PM

I'm having a quiet phase, just thought you should know. Hope your open day goes well Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Sep 07 - 02:49 PM

They need to get their priorities straight. The legal troubles of an ex-(American)football star should get the spotlight (unless Brittney has gained a pound or two, I mean really, that trumps all (except if Paris Hilton is mad at Nicole again, that is surely tops (unless Lindsay Lohan is back in rehab, I mean, America needs to know these things))).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 07 - 02:38 PM

I don't see anything about OJ Simpson on Al-Jazeera.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Sep 07 - 09:32 AM

Ah, my bad.

The upcoming arraignment for O.J. ssems to be the most important thing in the entire world for today. I watch CBS morning news (beacuse on that channel I know what time the local weather comes on, don't have cable) and that was the lead story today. At least I think the arraignment is today, not yesterday. I wasn't really paying attention.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 07 - 09:59 PM

That was his friend who was the driver in the low-speed chase.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 Sep 07 - 10:06 AM

Focus? I thought he drove a Bronco.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 07 - 09:13 AM

See? It's all about focus.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 12:12 PM

"Just think of O.J. out there on the golf course... "

No, he's sitting in a Las Vegas jail cell. No more golf for a bit. He is facing something like 30 years for armed robbery. Too weird.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 10:02 AM

My thoughts exactly.

Just think of O.J. out there on the golf course...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 09:05 AM

And boobytraps in the roughs. Nothing like having a punji stick piercing your foot during your backswing or trying to figure out how to hit your ball off the detonator of the ol' fougasse installation to sharpen your game.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 10:50 PM

That is the best idea yet! Bravo, my good sir!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 09:26 PM

Don't be absurd, LH. I think that dual usage demands something that will benefit humanity.

How about golf courses doubling as mine fields? Not only would it add a certain je ne sais quoi to the game, but golfers would also be able to work clearing mines in places where they have way, way, too many.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 11:33 AM

All excellent ideas that need further investigation, Rap. Why not a dual use as golf course/artillery range? That would really introduce an element of excitement to the game that I feel it is lacking at present, and it would provide a lot of cool sand traps and hazards too.

With such a dual use of golf ranges Nicole Brown/Simpson might still be alive today.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 09:08 AM

Wimp ideas, sirrah!

Bury a gas cylinder nearby, and run a hose to the bottom of the hole. Put in a trip-switch so that when a golf ball falls into the hole it is promptly returned on a jet of flame.

Or simply apply dual use: use golf courses as cemeteries and vice-versa. To have the ball land in the midst of a covey of mourners or fall into an open grave would give a whole new meaning to "play it where it lies." And sand traps wouldn't need sand anymore, either....

Or, still applying dual use, golf courses could also be used as archery or rifle ranges. It would give new meaning to "shooting some golf."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Sep 07 - 11:10 PM

I've always thought it would be fun to put little, pressure-sensitive mini-landmines down all the holes on the golf course, then just sit back with a cool drink and watch...

Then too, putting a spring-operated thingie in there that instantly tosses the ball back out would be funny, wouldn't it?

Even funnier might be to put a pipe down there that delivers the golf ball into an inacessible underground chamber when the little trapdoor at the bottom of the hole opens, which happens right after the ball enters the hole. The trapdoor then closes. The puzzled golfer will find only an empty hole when he goes to retrieve his golf ball.

I have a friend who hates golf so much that he launches into a tirade about it whenever he sees a golf course or hears mention of one. He figures they are destroying natural habitat, and he's right about that, but he's not improving things any by having a fit about it all the time...he's just blowing off steam. ;-) If he had some real initiative, he would set about committing some of the acts of sabotage that I suggested earlier in this post.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 07 - 09:58 PM

Well, I tried. I took some horse pee, figuring that was as close as I could get to the stuff "Shane" drinks, and used it to brew up some coffee (I used Starbucks, since I didn't think he drank anything decent).

My wife made me brew it outdoors, which I did. The fumes killed an entire flight of Canada geese, which fell randomly around the golf course out back of the house. Three mature trees, four fairways, and three greens also curled up and died.

But it didn't attract "Shane" and now I have to find a way to dispose of it. I think I'll wait until much later, sneak onto the golf course, and pour it into the holes in each green.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 11:17 PM

Not a bad idea.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 09:50 PM

So, if we made coffee out of beer instead of water...like the nobility in Yurp used to do with champagne...ol' "Shane" would come a-runnin'?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 09:24 PM

There was a cirbaf emit-ecaps eht ni elknirw, that's all. It happens sometimes when you least ti tcepxe.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 04:38 PM

Shane does drink coffee, Rapaire. He just prefers beer, that's all. Shane is not above having a coffee and a donut at Tim Horton's now and then. Actually...there are very few things Shane is above, come to think of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 04:30 PM

Hey Eriapar is back to 'normal'. How so Eriapar?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 04:14 PM

It's your doughnut....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 03:31 PM

I wonder what a beer soaked donut tastes like.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 03:17 PM

"Shane" doesn't drink coffee.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 03:16 PM

You'd need a mighty big cup of coffee to dunk that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 02:30 PM

Perhaps he's found the tanks of alcohol used as a coolant for the propulsion system's override pumps and he's laying drunk in some gutter. My guess, though, is that he's seen the Donut Nebula and he is weeping for his lost Tim Horton's.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 02:09 PM

I have been wondering the same thing. I thought he had been given a laptop or some such by the Greys which allowed him to communicate with earth. Why has he not been using it? Perhaps he is carrying out his mission as we type.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 01:57 PM

When, oh when will Shane return and restore to this thread the dignity and gravity it has been lacking of late?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 11:57 AM

Gesundheit

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 11:32 AM

Gbide lo! Snepticache.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 09:28 AM

".s'miT" ,yas eciov a draeh I ,yawynA .kniht I ",enahS" morf draeh evah I.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 07 - 05:38 PM

.ti draeH

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Sep 07 - 04:33 PM

Monastery Life

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "W e missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!" His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong,
father?" With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was........ CELEBRATE!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 05:37 PM

.suov erte-tuep esnep ia'J

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 04:40 PM

Don't waste your time I made it up. Sorry

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 04:32 PM

!!ertliss jytrol uflpo spowler klpotr plip sheesH

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 04:29 PM

Encore. Author, author!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 04:24 PM

I agree, top show

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 04:20 PM

?ssalc tsriF

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 04:18 PM

.CD morf kcab enalpria eht no deneppah gnihtemoS. oN.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 04:11 PM

Talking like Yoda, you are.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 03:51 PM

Eriapar? head the on bump a received lately you Have. apparently backwards write you make can that ,head the on bump a had Eriapar's Maybe

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 03:42 PM

Earliest days of the thread... aah, I remember them like they were yesterday.

I didn't want to screw up my needle so instead of playing the record backward I just flipped it over and played it the regular way. I didn't hear anything that sounded like Paul is dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 03:38 PM

Oh I see KB. I thought for a moment you'd had a mind transfer experience. Easy mistake. I wonder if Eriapar is hurtling backwards in time to the earliest days of this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 03:35 PM

".gninevE detnahcnE emoS" fo noitidner reiht saw tI.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 03:24 PM

I guess that was a little too obscure. You see, Rapaire wrote backwards and supposedly when you played one of the Beatles songs (don't remember right off which one) backwards they said "Paul is dead." Well, inside the cover (opened like a book) of the LP "Magical Mystery Tour" were some pages with photos. One of the photos is of a military man and on his desk is a sign that says "I WAS YOU." This has been trotted out as further evidence that Paul had died.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 03:19 PM

.em tpecxe em saw ydoboN .gnituohs potS

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 03:11 PM

WHEN?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 03:04 PM

I WAS YOU

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 03:03 PM

Get well soon Eriapar

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 08:26 PM

.deneppah gnihtemos tub denruter evah I

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 05:28 PM

Ha! Ha! I'll have to remember that one for when I have a similar opportunity.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 03:57 PM

We went out to eat Saturday night. As we walked into the restaurant we were greeted by a perky young lady who asked "Do you have reservations?" I replied, "Yes, but we decided to eat here anyway."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 02:40 PM

A man walks into his doctors complaining of a hearing problem. "How would you describe the symptoms?" the doctor asks. "An animated cartoon family" the man replies.

No? How about this one then.

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."


"You must be in IT," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."


The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am", replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my bloomin' fault."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 10:32 AM

Milk and balogna.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 07:35 AM

I learned my skill in answering from my old girlfriend, Ora Cull. She was from Delphi, in Greece.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 07:01 PM

You think? (That's not another official question on the list. Don't count it as one or you are in heap big trouble.)

Look, man, if I had a girlfriend and that was her degree of responsiveness it would be a clear signal to me that the relationship was basically kaput. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 06:56 PM

My answer was responsive to your question.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:56 PM

There is always a state of mind except when unconscious or dead. (And perhaps even then.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:29 PM

If and when there is one. 14.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 03:38 PM

Is it a state of mind?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 03:07 PM

I shall provide a different answer and skip changing the count. That is because I am charitable and all-kind.

The question was:

Is it eternal?

The answer is:

Sometimes. 15.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 02:38 PM

Yes, a free question or it's The Spa for you Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 12:13 PM

That's not a fair answer. If you want to know the definition of eternal you should look it up in the dictionary. You owe me a free question.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 11:17 PM

It depends upon your definition of eternal. 15.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 10:30 PM

Is it eternal?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 07:07 PM

Both. 16.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 06:48 PM

Is it material or nonmaterial?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 03:34 PM

Perhaps. 17.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 02:40 PM

Is it within Earth's atmosphere?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 02:03 PM

Yes. 18.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 01:22 PM

Does this count as one of the questions?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 01:19 PM

Neither. You have 19 questions left.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 10:31 AM

Is it large or small?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 12:22 AM

There is something out there. I don't think that it's the truth, even if you COULD handle it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 09:31 PM

Throw your arms around me, honey....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 04:15 PM

Aaah, Mitch and Mickey. Now my day is complete, never have I felt so at ease in my own skin. My neighbors skin once, but never mine.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 09:18 AM

Never have I enjoyed Youtube more! Such a shame "Shane" isn't here to enjoy it as well. The poor guy is so depraved deprived, away from life and love and laughter and beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 07 - 10:20 PM

And then...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8NGYoyRR6U&mode=related&search=

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 07 - 10:14 PM

See, this chicken came into this library every day and checked out a book. Many time the chicken would come in several times, returning the book just borrowed and checking out another one.

Well, the Librarian thought this was unusual. I mean, we get lots of strange people into libraries, but they usually keep the book at least overnight. So the Librarian followed the chicken the time.

The chicken carried the books ("Crime and Punishment," it was) down the sidewalk and veered off into the woods towards the river. As the chicken approached the river, a big ol' bullfrog jumped ashore.

The chicken said, "Book book book!"

The bullfrog took one look and said, "Readit, readit."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 07 - 08:58 PM

I think I'd rather have a talking frog too. Less complicated. And one could book the places that pay really well.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 07 - 08:52 PM

Heard it. Heard it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 07 - 03:38 PM

LOL! Excellent joke.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 03 Sep 07 - 03:32 PM

This is a true story, oft told in my local The Bull at Ambridge.

A wizened old man was taking his daily walk in the leafy lanes near his home when he hears a small voice calling. He looks around but sees no one and is about to continue when he hears it again and notices that the voice is coming from a small frog by the edge of a lilly pond. He squints and turns his good ear to the frog. "I'm not a frog the frog croaks, but a beautiful princess turned into a frog by a wicked witch. All I need is a kiss and the spell will be broken and I'll turn into my former self. If you kiss me, I promise I'll fulfil all your wildest dreams, wink, wink. The old man smiles thoughtfully and picks up the frog and pops it into his pocket. After a few minutes the frog shouts out "Hey why haven't you kissed me yet?" The old man hobbles on and eventually replies soulfully, "My dear, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog".

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 07 - 01:44 PM

Add a dash of spice, shatnerize for five minutes, and serve.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 02 Sep 07 - 01:39 PM

Just passing - everyone OK?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 01:45 PM

I certainly wasn't expecting this.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 12:49 PM

An unexpected WC, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 12:46 PM

The White Comanche always does the unexpected. Except when he doesn't. And then it's unexpected.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 09:58 AM

"You the kind that brings a knife to a gun fight, huh?"

Sounds like the kind of thing the White Comanche would do.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 09:36 AM

Hey, doofus. You the kind that brings a knife to a gun fight, huh?



(Wait, I don't think that's right....)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 12:34 AM

Check this out:

???

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:42 PM

Yeah? Whatta we gotta take a ride for? Huh??? You cock-a-roach!   How about-a we settle dis right here and now! Just you and me and my "leetle friend"!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:31 PM

You dissin' my momma? You dissin' my momma you dissin' me. Then me an' you gonna take a little ride, only you ain't comin' back.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:18 PM

I bet we could get it all straightened out if Sylvester Stallone was here.

"I just wanna go the distance."

"AYYYYY-DRIENNNNNNNNNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:12 PM

Ah, shaddappa you mouth! Yo' mamma!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:09 PM

Wassamatta, you don't know Latin? Waddahell are you, some sorta ignoramus or sumpin'? Didncha study good in school? Is that why yer so iggorant, huh? Betcha KB kin translate it. I'd do it, but I ain't gonna give you the satisfaction. Ask Chongo ta do it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 09:38 PM

Ayy! Wadda you tinka you talkin' about? Ayy! I'm-a talkin' to YOU! I'm-a not talkin' to him, I'm talkin' to YOU! Ayy! Wadda you want-a from me? What's a matta you? Watta happen your face? You wanta me to slap-a some-a sense into you? Ayyy!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 06:53 PM

Comas deum candidas --
Pro alitibus castella --
Vel facta pennis spelunca --
Credid'esse nubes.

Atqui,iam solem occludunt.
Et nix et imber haec ferunt.
Tam multa res adsequarar;
Nimbi obstiterunt.

Vidi nimbos utrinque iam,
Desuper atque a subter.
Attamen van'opinio
Tota doctrina nimborum mi.

Lumen lunae Iunio --
Optatum verum inventum --
Vertiginosa gaudio,
Credid'ess'amorem.

Atqui, iam ludus alius,
Poste'abis, illi ridunt;
Si tua interest, tace!
Ne proderes cordem.

Vid'amorem utrinque iam,
Donante capienteque.
Attamen van'opinio
Tota doctrina amoris mi.

Metus, fletus, risusque --
Elat'amore, gaudere --
Consilia, proposita --
Credid'esse vitam.

Atqui, iam cari amici
Incipiunt mi dicere
Me mutavisse -- vere, sed
Cotidie muto.

Vidi vitam utrinque iam,
Victoris atque cladibus,
Attamen van'opinio
Tota doctrina vitae mi.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 05:37 PM

Dopo la girata del secolo
Nei cieli blu liberi Germania eccessiva
È venuto un ruggito e gli uomini di tuono non si erano sentiti mai
Come il grido ed il suono di un uccello grande di guerra
Nel cielo, un uomo in un aereo
Il Baron von Richthofen era il suo nome
Ottanta uomini hanno provato ed ottanta uomini sono morto
Ora sono sepolti insieme sulla campagna
Chorus: Dieci, venti, trenta, quaranta, cinquanta o più
Il Baron rosso sanguinante era rollin fuori il segno
Ottanta uomini hanno morto il tryin per concludere quello spree
Del Baron rosso sanguinante della Germania
Nella scalfittura di tempo, un hero ha presentato
Un cane divertente-osservante con un naso nero grande
Ha volato nel cielo per cercare la vendetta
Ma il Baron lo ha sparato giù--"Curses, sventati ancora!„

CHORUS

Ora, Snoopy aveva giurato che otterrebbe quell'uomo
Così ha chiesto la zucca grande un nuovo programma di battaglia
Ha sfidato il tedesco ad un duello reale
Mentre il Baron stava ridendo, lo ha ottenuto nella sua vista

Quel Baron rosso sanguinante era in una difficoltà
Aveva provato tutto, ma funzionerebbe dai trucchi
Snoopy ha infornato una volta ed ha infornato due volte
E quel Baron rosso sanguinante è andato filare dalla vista

CHORUS

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 05:27 PM

Per me si va ne la città dolente,
per me si va ne l'etterno dolore,
per me si va tra la perduta gente.

Giustizia mosse il mio alto fattore;
fecemi la divina podestate,
la somma sapïenza e 'l primo amore.

Dinanzi a me non fuor cose create
se non etterne, e io etterno duro.
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate'.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 05:13 PM

Mantenere dal lato pieno di sole, sempre dal lato pieno di sole,
Mantenere dal lato pieno di sole di vita
Li aiuterà giorno ev'ry,
Illuminerà tutto il senso
Se manterremo dal lato pieno di sole di vita

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 05:08 PM

Diga me. Diga me todo.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 05:03 PM

Est ce qui ce qui ce qui Italien ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 04:13 PM

Ninguna. Absolutamente nada.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 03:55 PM

Dove è cosa cosa cosa?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 07 - 02:05 PM

Yeah, I remember the Rock River. The Illinois militia cavalry proceeded up the Rock to attack Blackhawk, leaving the militia Infantry and the Regulars behind at Armstrong's Tavern. The horse soldiers camped at Stillman's Run, and Blackhawk and some of his boys started to walk over to say hello. The cav's pickets saw Indians, fired in to the air, yelled, "Injuns!" and the whole bunch ran hell-for-leather back down Stillman's Run, to quiver behind the Infantry and the Regulars.

Blackhawk and his bunch were amused.

The Battle of Stillman's Run wasn't the grandest moment in the history of the Illinois Militia.

(I hasten to point out that one of those Infantry officers was a Lt. Abraham Lincoln.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Aug 07 - 12:50 PM

I trust Old Man River, too, but only to do whatever in H*ll he feels like. The rivers around these parts are nearly all out of their banks. The Rock River in Illinois (you're an old Illinois man Rapaire, remember the Rock River?) floods any time a kid spits in it. There was an interview on TV this AM with a guy whose house is on ten foot poles so it can survive the floods. He said he wouldn't even consider living anywhere else because it is so beautiful living on the river.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 07 - 08:48 AM

I trust Old Man River.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 28 Aug 07 - 06:42 AM

Oh never trust the sun, it'll always let you down
Oh just when you trust the sun, you'll find that it's not around


This is the chorus, please feel free to add a few verses.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 05:16 PM

Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side,
Keep on the sunny side of life
It will help us ev'ry day,
It will brighten all the way
If we'll keep on the sunny side of life

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 05:09 PM

Well, at least you're not dead. ;-) Look on the bright side.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 05:09 PM

2200

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 05:08 PM

I did get a reaction. My co-workers looked at me like I was crazy. I don't think I'm in any position to argue with them.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 05:05 PM

Slap yourself and see if you get any reaction. If not, you may be dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 05:00 PM

You mean I'm not?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 04:54 PM

It's probably preferable, but not by much, to being dead in Iowa.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 04:05 PM

If you can call this living.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 03:46 PM

Oh. That's right. You live in Iowa.

I'm so very, very sorry.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 03:39 PM

I just went to the "Boston Legal" website and couldn't find any contact info (I didn't really look all that hard).

BTW, I live about twenty miles (32 km) from Riverside, Iowa, the future birthplace of Capt James T. Kirk. My younger brother lived in Riverside for a couple of years.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 03:20 PM

Do you need an email address for a producer of Boston Legal? He knows Bill S as well as anybody. Maybe you can get a message to him.
Maybe he'll get a kick out of this forum and post here too.

They are still filming episodes so he's probably very busy.

Just don't tell him to go on Jenny Craig!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 02:12 PM

That wasn't the real Winona! She does not speak with that accent. Someone has dared to impersonate Winona Ryder! That person will soon die an excruciating death...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Winona Ryder
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 02:03 PM

Bill, darlin', you took the words right outah mah mouth.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 02:02 PM

I wouldn't post to this whatever-it-is if it were the last such thing on Earth or anywhere else in the Universe.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 01:08 PM

Or William Shatner.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 01:06 PM

Indeed it does. If Winona Ryder were to post here by accident, I would not object.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 12:55 PM

This thread welcomes misplaced posts.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 12:18 PM

Well I have good intentions but am too damn lazy to trace properly.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 12:06 PM

Donuel, interesting tidbit there. I can't but wonder whether you actually meant to post that one in "News of Note." Not that there is any problem even if that is the case since pretty much anything goes over here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 11:41 AM

http://mparent7777-2.blogspot.com/2007/08/couple-arrested-as-terrorists-for.html

MSNBC.com


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beer runners' trail a recipe for trouble


Pair arrested after marking a powdery path through IKEA parking lot


The Associated Press


Updated: 6:56 p.m. MT Aug 25, 2007
NEW HAVEN, Conn. - Two people who sprinkled flour in a parking lot to mark a trail for their offbeat running club inadvertently caused a bioterrorism scare and now face a felony charge.

The sprinkled powder forced hundreds to evacuate an IKEA furniture store Thursday.

New Haven ophthalmologist Daniel Salchow, 36, and his sister, Dorothee, 31, who is visiting from Hamburg, Germany, were both charged with first-degree breach of peace, a felony.

The siblings set off the scare while organizing a run for a local chapter of the Hash House Harriers, a worldwide group that bills itself as a "drinking club with a running problem."

"Hares" are given the task of marking a trail to direct runners, throwing in some dead ends and forks as challenges. On Thursday, the Salchows decided to route runners through the massive IKEA parking lot.

Police fielded a call just before 5 p.m. that someone was sprinkling powder on the ground. The store was evacuated and remained closed the rest of the night. The incident prompted a massive response from police in New Haven and surrounding towns.

Flouring the road from coast to coast
Daniel Salchow biked back to IKEA when he heard there was a problem and told officers the powder was just harmless flour, which he said he and his sister have sprinkled everywhere from New York to California without incident.

"Not in my wildest dreams did I ever anticipate anything like that," he said.

Mayoral spokeswoman Jessica Mayorga said the city plans to seek restitution from the Salchows, who are due in court Sept. 14.

"You see powder connected by arrows and chalk, you never know," she said. "It could be a terrorist, it could be something more serious. We're thankful it wasn't, but there were a lot of resources that went into figuring that out."


© 2007 The Associated Press

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 09:28 AM

Well, I was very young....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Aug 07 - 09:17 AM

Swallowing? I don't think we want to go there.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 07 - 05:49 PM

Chewing tobacco and swallowing makes me ill.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 07 - 01:36 PM

It makes me ill when other people smoke them.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Aug 07 - 01:07 PM

I smoked a cigar once
Never again
It made me ill

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 02:06 PM

No, I think I had my first cig when I was about 12. Ain't gonna say about the girls....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 10:31 AM

"I smoked my first cigarette at ten.
And for girls, I had a bad yen....
I learned quite alot ....
When I was young."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 10:16 PM

When I was young I'd play outside and get feckles on my face.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 09:11 PM

Just like the days of my feckless youth.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 02:44 PM

So, business as usual it seems. Oh for those heady 'own thread' days, they seem so distant now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 01:35 PM

Aw, shucks

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 09:19 AM

I don't even give a tinker's shucks.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 09:18 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 10:39 PM

I don't even give that. In fact, I give less than a tinker's damn. So there.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 10:35 PM

Truth be told, we don't give a tinker's damn... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 08:51 PM

You're absolutely right about that. We won't.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 02:30 PM

This thread should be renamed the Mary Celeste. It's become very clear that it cannot survive without me, having fallen, or nearly fallen off the page on numerous occasions recently. So, I have selflessly abandoned my own immensely successful thread to save it, much to the dismay of its growing band of followers. I hope you all appreciate this sacrifice but I doubt you will.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 02:27 PM

Just a quick post to let you know that you're all welcome on my new thread and if you're quick you might just make a first fifty poster - but you must POST SOON as things are going really mad over there.

Anyway farewell forever again.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 18 Aug 07 - 01:10 PM

Just posting to wish you all farewell and good luck for the future. You see I'm a big cheese now, got my own thread and all that. It's called the 'Nth longest thread' and it's going to be REALLY big, so I won't have time for small fry threads like this anymore.

Anyway, farewell and all that - it's been fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 07 - 11:35 AM

After all that beer, don't you mean "innergalactic emissions???

Now we know where all that gas in the Universe came from.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 07 - 04:38 PM

"Shane", it looks like "Shane" is in a mental hospital. I mean one for people with obvious mental problems, not just someplace like Blind River or Sudbury.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 17 Aug 07 - 04:36 PM

That fliphead imposder is STILL around? Flip me. Once I am done with my, like, innergalaktic missions here I will get Artixes and the boys to take me strait to where that flipper is and I will put an end to his flippin' useless life! He has flipped with me one too many times.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Ike
Date: 17 Aug 07 - 04:33 PM

I thought I'd bring you all up to date on what's happened to that boy Shane.

He's out of the hospital here, but the head doctor has took him to one of them big hospitals down south for those folks who aren't quite right in the head. Weyburn, I think he said it was. Something like that, only maybe it wasn't. My hearing ain't so good these days. Yours wouldn't be either if you was as old as I am.

Anyway, the head doctor don't think the boy will be getting out soon. Last we saw of him he was runnin' around flappin' his arms and yellin' "Cockadoodledoo!" I think that the time in the chickenshit made the boy a bit touched in the head, if you know what I mean.

Anyways, I don't have an address where you can write him at.

Your friend,
Ike Thomsom
Chicken Farmer
Mayo, YT

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Bind River
Date: 17 Aug 07 - 04:27 PM

FLIPPIN' A!!!!!!!!!! This is me, eh? ARttixes and the boys have, like, gave me a thingie here with, like, keys on it like a normle keybored. So I can type things and conumicate with my pals back on Earth, eh?

So how's it goin' eh?

This thing workds great! It is a lot like a reguler keybored, like I said, eh? But it sends the message through time and space! Flippin' decent! I don't know how it works, but it does. I sent a message to the Sudbury cops and told them they can all go FLIP themselves! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ya know why? Cos I am in space and they can't flippin' TOUCH me! Ha! Ha! Ha! I told 'em that it was me who done the big Beer Store job last year, me who stole the 3 snowmobiles, and me who poured sour milk into the mailboxes, and me who painted "Sudbury Cops Suck!" on the back wall of the liberry, and there is nothin' they can do about any of that now! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Artixes says this thingie they made for me is really, really R-K-ic. Whatever that means. He says that the Greys conumicate by pure thought, eh? I'll flippin' believe that when I see it! Anyways, he says they made this R-K-ic thing special for me so I won't get lonely while I am on this mission for them.

They have been preparin' me to take on some major bad guys and major flippin' loosers out here in space that are called "The Hoard". I am goin' to flippin' waste the lot of them when I am ready. But I ain't quite ready yet. The Grays are teachin' me all the stuff I need to know to deviastate them guys. I figger I will be ready soon. In a week or two.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Aug 07 - 04:04 PM

"can't you pull a few strings?"

We don't use strings anymore, everything is computer generated now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Aug 07 - 02:43 PM

I'm sure that is how he would have wanted it.





(Do you mean Northern Shane or Southern Shane?)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 07 - 02:41 PM

"Shane" has gone to his Reward, drowned in a vat of Molson's.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 05:39 PM

We want Shane, we want Shane. Come on KB can't you pull a few strings?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 05:35 PM

Bush is held in high esteem in the UK.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 05:17 PM

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

I guess you are right, it really isn't funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 09:25 AM

Humor does not belong in George Bush's America.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 09:09 AM

"Humor does not belong in George Bush's America."

I don't know about that, there seems to be quite a bit of yellow bile about these days.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 10:19 PM

Humor does not belong in George Bush's America.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 05:31 PM

Please, be seated.

I was just looking throught the archives. Do you ever go back and read the old posts on this thread? There is some pretty funny stuff back there.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 05:10 PM

Can I sit down now, my legs are aching?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 03:16 PM

Will the real Karl Rove please stand up?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 03:14 PM

I am Karl Rove, wasn't it obvious?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 02:24 PM

You are Karl Rove? Do something about that hair will ya? Stringy gray hair hanging from an otherwise bald pate looks really stoopid.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 02:18 PM

We have discovered that the Mr. Rove we have is an imposter, since I found out last night that I am Karl Rove. We have suspended treatment and will see that the imposter is flushed down the apologetically returned to home.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 12:10 AM

I'm sorry, KB, but you will have to wait a bit longer for your Spa treatment. We are currently treating a Mr. Rove, who recently quit his job to become a hay farmer in the North Dakota.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 14 Aug 07 - 03:25 PM

Love and peace to you all.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 03:42 PM

Up from the depths.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 05:30 PM

We are simply waiting for an empty room at The Spa. KB deserves only The Best, you know, and the ex-Presidential Suite won't be ready for a couple of days yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 05:06 PM

"And how come Rapaire's mob are taking so long to catch you?"

I'm hiding in the Maquoketa caves, but don't tell anyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 05:00 PM

And skulduggery with my moniker won't get you anywhere either.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 04:54 PM

I think KB's slipped into native tongue by accident. Hoisted by your own petard me thinks. It's The Spa for you to find your true intentions for this thread. I'd hate to think we're all being used as part of your alien plan for world domination. And how come Rapaire's mob are taking so long to catch you? I was captured within minutes - it's not fair.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 09:38 AM

Klaatu barada nikto

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 06:06 PM

I'm beginning to wonder whether I'm the only earthling posting on this thread.

Hey remember the 5000 thread? I might just go pack my bag and go on a retreat until my head's clear about everything. I'm pretty sure it's predominantly an earth based thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 12:12 PM

You don't have the proper equipment. The only other set of the equipment is at The Spa; you might check there.






hehehehehe....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 09:32 AM

Link?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 09:23 AM

We have located "Shane"'s spatial-temporal-gravitational coordinates. You wouldn't BELIEVE where he is and what he's doing! I never knew ANYONE could...oh, wow!...that's un-flippin'-BELIEVABLE! You oughta see this! It's, like, indescribable...wow.....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 06:58 PM

Well, technically "Shane"'s not gone. He still around somewhere. We know for a fact, sort of, that "Northern Shane" is around; the only question is the spatial whereabouts of "Southern Shane."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 05:22 PM

I shall post furtively and will not give up the ship.

85 Billion or bust!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 04:23 PM

Shane gone. KB on the run. I see no future for this thread, beyond say, 3 billion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 09:08 AM

So be it. I have told the trainers, and you will undergo Plan 7 when you arrive. I think you'll appreciate the extra mobility that you'll have in your knees, elbows, ankles, toes, shoulers and fingers when they are done.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 09:05 AM

Plan seven it is, then.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:45 PM

Those are Plan 9 Planners. Seven is quite enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 03:18 PM

They're here, they're a fact. And the Public oughta know about it!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:59 PM

And a legal one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:55 PM

Me, an alien? Wherever did you get such an idea?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:22 PM

Has anybody actually asked KB straight out about being an alien?

KB are you an alien and if so a Grey? It's not that we're against aliens on this thread, it's just that it would be nice to know. There could be an advantage to you being an alien, especially if you live to say, 85 billion. You could bring alive memories of the original posters. I can see it now...... "Tell us again KB about the great green tomato controversy and it's affect on climate change in the 21st century"... "Who was the first earthling to become Poster of the Year?" "What year was Shane made a saint again?"

So, as long as your a friendly alien...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:39 AM

If you read this, don't tell anybody.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:30 AM

Our trainers are very, very close to KB now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 10:14 AM

Submit, or the trainers will be harder on you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 10:44 AM

Sounds like Grey names to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 10:27 AM

I could be wrong, but reading between the lines I suspect that KB is still on the run, or, if perhaps an alien, on the hover - who knows

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 09:16 AM

At The Spa we prefer to have our clients first make some effort to better themselves, such as by running. KB is running. Very fast and very hard, too, I might add. Of course, this is very encouraging to our attack dogs personalized trainers.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 09:11 AM

Who me? I know nothing, you hear - NO-THING!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 07:37 AM

How do you know so confidently that KB's at The Spa JennyO, unless you're on Rapaire's staff payroll of course? Personally, until it's official, as far as I am concerned KB is still on the run. Worrying times indeed for the 85 billion thread. And what's happened to Shane, can anyone tune in to The Grey's frequency – perhaps KB could be encouraged to?

I'm with LTS on 2112 and now wish I'd gone for it instead of 2108. Blast.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 21 Jul 07 - 01:54 AM

Personally, I like 2113. It was my postcode for 15 years.

Sounds like KB's getting quite a workout at the Spa.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 03:13 PM

I want to come out feeling a new person.... but I'd get arrested.


Don't you think 2112 looks pretty?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 03:04 PM

pant ... pant ... gasp

wait - just a bit farther ... NOOOOOO!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 03:02 PM

All will be Revealed.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 02:56 PM

KB's quiet. Taken do you think? It happens like that. One minute you're ruling the world, next minute, taken.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM

*2108*

OK

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 09:45 AM

*2007*

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 09:09 AM

And with the exercises, diet, pedicures, manicures, massages, heated baths, cold baths, dental treatments, electro-therapy, aromatherapy -- why, you'll come out feeling like a new person! I promise it!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Jul 07 - 06:55 AM

I think a holiday at The Spa will be the only way we will be able to determine KB's true species. It's for your own good KB, though one only realises this after one's final hypnotherapy session. I mean if it wasn't for The Spa I'd very likely still be a dictator.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 10:30 PM

Oh, The Spa, The Spa,
KB's pinin' for The Spa....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 06:13 PM

The Spa, The Spa

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 03:40 PM

Don't play the innocent with us! Talk, or go to The Spa!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 12:20 PM

I think Liz knows something. Notice how she "just happened" to choose 573443? Coincidence? I think not.

IWTATBM, I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 10:35 AM

I see no theoretical reason why this thread shouldn't achieved 85 billion posts... unless someone loses count at around 573443.

But you should say to yourself, with the amount of power we waste, on a daily basis, SHOULD this thread be ALLOWED to reach 85 billion?

I don't care, I have post 2100.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 10:29 AM

Don't play the innocent – talk.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 09:32 AM

I'm back, did I miss anything?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 09:13 AM

The question is whether or not KB is here legally. Everyone says that illegal aliens are bad and should be denied all sorts of things and sent back where they came from no matter how much their mother objects, but legal aliens are okay.

So KB, show use your green card!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Jul 07 - 07:26 AM

I'm thinking we should let KB continue as a poster regardless of being an alien or not. After all, the thread objective is to get to 85 billion, not to get to 85 billion but only with earthling posts. Perhaps though KB should be denied the opportunity of becoming Poster of the Year in future, as a warning to other aliens that we won't be messed with on this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 10:03 PM

I knew someone from Iowa once. It was awful. Right there in West Burlington. Zombie space aliens, all of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 03:39 PM

Be suspicious, very suspicious. KB may yet be an earthling and being forced to post under duress. I've had experience of this, ahem. You have to look for the clues.

You don't fool me you Greys, leave KB alone.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 12:21 PM

Ah, Artixes, I see that you have retrieved the ... what? What frequency is this on? I'm afraid we may have been discovered. Go to full recovery mode, out.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 09:15 AM

Mayhap this one....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 07:08 AM

It was a genuine mistake Rapaire, however some good came of it as now we know how Rapaire is pronounced. Personally I'd always thought it was pronounced like repair but with an 'a' sound. I'll have to get to know you all over again. No wonder your staff at The Spa (I still shudder at that name - with delight) gave me funny looks and said 'not had enough yet eh?' when I shouted 'Rapaire'.

I wonder what solar system KB is looking out on today….

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 08:27 PM

For whatever it's worth, the name is pronounced "Rap-a-ree" -- it's an Irish Gaelic form of the word "Rapparee." So the "e" on the end of the name is important. If it's not there I might be confused with someone who writes tunes for (shudder) rap music.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 06:16 PM

Your awards don't frighten me. I seek but The Truth.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 03:12 PM

KB an alien? That never occurred to me. Yes, yes, could be. ….Hmm, you're not just sowing this seed to stake a claim for last year's Poster of the Year award are you Rapair, coming second and all that?

I don't know what to think I'm sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:49 PM

South south? Or...galactic south? Could KB be...one of them??

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 01:44 PM

I starting to think that KB is somehow involved in the whole alien abduction thing linked to The Greys. If you examine the post a little closer it seems to be written in code. Can anyone extract the true meaning from it?

"I am leaving for points south in a couple of days and will have little, if any, opportunity to post while away. I will be gone for two weeks. Carry on."

It's so obvious now, poor KB had no choice but to post this and may never return. I will dedicate my Poster of the Year 2007 award in your memory KB. Sniff

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 06:56 PM

Drugs...probably had an immunity built up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Ike
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 09:33 PM

This here's Ike Tomson, the chicken farmer from Mayo, YT agin.

That there boy, Shame, is still in the hospital up here. He didn't take to the chickenshit too good. They got him in the Loony Bin Ward becuz ever so often he busts out and says, "YAAAAAAAAAA!!! I CAN'T STOP!!!" like he's sliding into the chickenshit. The docs say he keeps runnin' it over and over in his mind like a loop of film or somethig. They tried shooting him full of drugs but that didn't work. Next they're gonna try electrik shocks. The head head doc says that after that he might have to be shipped South to one of them big hospitals for crazy folks.

The head head doc told me that years back they'da just done a lobotomy (I got him to write that word down cuz it's a good one) on him if the electrik shocks did't work but that's again the law nowdays and besides the doc isn't sure there's much brain the lobotomise.

We all feel real bad about this and the folks even chipped in to buy me a new scoop shovel to replace the one Shame lost for me in the chickenshit tank. We all feel that he was sort of okay for being as ugly as he is.

Your friend,
Ike Tomson
Chicken Farmer
Mayo, YT

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 05:43 PM

And where will that leave poor Don? Poor Jenny, mourning for her late lost loser? How will Tim Horton's stay in business? What of Shane of the Arctic, recovering (one supposes) from his spa bath in chicken...manure? And is the one that has been Taken the real Shane McBride?

So many questions, so few answers.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 04:38 PM

Wow. Heavy, man.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 04:34 PM

I didn't think that Shane had that much luck with babes truth be told, but after all those beers perhaps Grey ladies might be appealing and perhaps with his celebrity status, available.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 03:58 PM

(chuckle) "Unlimited beer" Yeah, if they did that, I think he might never come back. But what about "babes"?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 03:19 PM

I doubt this time that we'll ever see Shane again. He'll be treated as a hero in The Greys world and they'll manufacture unlimited beer for him.

In the event of this being the case, you ought to know that I have no intention of assuming control over this thread and dominating you all. My dictatorship days are well and truly in the past now.

I wonder if The Greys will remember my planet.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:34 PM

And over the hill chugs a borrowed yellow Yugo. Seeing the traffic jam at the intersection, Don McBride says quietly to himself, "Holy flippin' flip. I think it's a lynch mob."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 09:31 AM

Behind Maybelle and Clem an old white Ford pickup arrives, followed by a string of other disreputable vehicles. All neighbors, all of whom heard the sirens, some of whom saw Clem's Bonneville take a hit, and a few of whom saw "Shane" ascended.

"Clem!" shouts Willie. "What on earth is goin' on?"
"Maybelle," says Louise quietly, "Tell me dear, has Clem been, you know, sipping again?"

The junction of Seldom Seen Road is quickly jammed with vehicles, and the two officers stare, trying to figure out how to get the mess straightened out.

Suddenly a bearded man wearing Carhart overalls jumps to the hood of his pickup. "Friends and neighbours! We have just seen the Ascencion and The Final Days are upon us! None would have guessed that "Shane" McBride would be the first Chosen, but the Lord moves in mysterious ways His wonders to perform! Let us build four tents here, one for Moses, one for Ezekiel, one for Jesus, and one for Shane!"

"Why don't we put up one and they can share it?" asks someone.

"Good idea!" exclaims the bearded man. "I happen to have a red nylon pup tent in the truck!"

Officer Crayne turns to Officer Dana and says, "We can't permit that. That's Crown land."

To which the veteran replies, "You stop 'em. That's Man-Mountain McGraw with the tent. He once threw a pickup truck through the window of the Rusty Dog when they wouldn't serve him another beer."

Crayne blanches at this news and takes a step back.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 04:33 PM

Ha! I am a Child of the Lens and you ain't. So there, Smarty-Pants!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 08:27 AM

I would just like to remind everyone that it was me that first introduced Shane to The Greys. If he saves their world and they would like to reward me in some small way, I'd like them to know that I would not be offended. A planet perhaps? My own planet. Planet IWTATBM. Just what I've always wanted.

Come on Shane, save The Greys. I know you can do it. Hmm.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 09:17 PM

Shane runs frantically to the north. He hopes to make it to Kissing Rock. There are numerous trails into the bush near Kissing Rock, and Shane knows all of them. A perfect place to evade detection. He never knew there were so many blackberry bushes near Seldom Seen Road, and he is getting acquainted with most of them, it seems.

Not far behind him sprints Officer Dana, with the embarrassed Officer Crayne trying hard to keep up. He wants badly to make up for his earlier panic and show that he has what it takes. "My God, that woman can run!"

Shane bursts into a clearing. Aha! Familiar ground. This is the place where he once attempted to seduce Aileen, the waitress from Spanish with the gigantic...

Shane's pleasant memories of Aileen are interrupted by the intrusion of a pulsating, blinding light, accompanied by a low humming reverberation...

"Oh no!" bellows Shane. "Not AGAIN!!!" He struggles futilely as he begins to ascend up the beam of light, up, up, toward the gleaming body of what can only be...

"I don't flippin' beelieve this!!! No! Artixes, you FLIPhead! I already been through this! I don't have nothin' you flippers..."

The two police officers emerge into the clearing just in time to see Shane's legs and his grundgy work boots disappear into a glowing portal in the underside of a gleaming, hovering craft.

"Oh...my...God!" breathes Officer Dana. "So, it's true..."

"What the hell IS that thing?" croaks Officer Crayne. He points his pistol feebly in the general direction of the orb, as the portal vanishes. The orb starts to pulsate with a powerful red light, and the humming deepens.

"I wouldn't shoot at it, Dennis," cautions Officer Dana. "Let's not antagonize them. We aren't equipped to deal with this. Let's just back up...slowly..."

The orb is rising gently as Dana and Crayne step back gingerly back into the bushes that skirt the clearing. The alien lights cycle from red to blue to green to yellow, painting a widening circle of gorgeously shifting colors on the land below.

"What do we do?" whispers Crayne.

"You get back to the cruiser. Radio for backup. Tell them to inform the military at once. To them to call NORAD. I'll stay and see what they do next. Be quick."

"Okay!" Crayne trots off, glancing back nervously over his shoulder.

"Shane, you crazy kid, what have you got yourself into?" murmurs Jennifer Dana. "What could they possibly want with someone like you?"

***********

THRUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....CLICK! The lights go out. Silence. A softer light comes on. Shane finds himself alone in a featureless room with smooth, curving walls.

"Flip me..."

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssss" A wide portal opens, revealing a room filled with Shane's old buddies, the Greys. He could swear they are smiling, although it's hard to tell with Greys...

"Joy of joys! The Shane is back. And he has not changed one iota. Three chirps for our friend, the Shane!"

The Greys deliver a hearty chorus of chirps, waving their slender hands in the air. This is considered a very friendly greeting among Greys, reserved only for trusted comrades and people of importance.

"Artixes! You bug-eyed flipper! What do you flippin' think yer doin'? I thought we were, like, all finished with the flippin' exchange student bit or whatever the flip it is..."

"Ah, Shane, so did we," replies Artixes. "We thought you were like, how you say it, 'yesterday's stale pizza'?   You see, Shane, I have been practicing the local vernacular! Yes! But we live in strange and ever changing times. A critical situation has arisen that requires your expertise and yours alone. We have journeyed at speeds you cannot comprehend across distances you cannot fathom, homing in on your unique frequencies, because we have a task that only you can manage. We need you, Shane."

Shane shuffles his feet. He's not used to being needed. "Flip. Really??? Gosh. Ummm...well...what do you, like, need me for?"

"All in good time, my friend, all in good time....we are about to depart for the Berklasian quadrant and all will soon be revealed. Come on up to the stardeck. You shouldn't miss this."

*********

Officer Dana watches in fascination as the spacecraft's lights dim and it slowly acends. Suddenly, in the merest blink of an eye, it is gone, the barest suggestion registering on her eyes of an impossibly rapid leap across the night sky, a flashing leap that vanishes somewhere at the edge of her vision, somewhere beyond Earthly knowing.

She makes her way back to the cruiser. Crayne is calling everyone he can think of, but when they arrive they will find nothing there to investigate, nothing except Don's battered pickup truck.

Officer Crayne: "So what do we do now?"

Officer Dana: "We call a tow truck. Get that pickup in tow. And let's see if you and I can get this cruiser back on the road. We write out a full report. Then we go to Blind River and interview Don McBride. Maybe he knows something."

Nothing like a bit of standard routine when you're confronted with an insoluble situation. It's comforting, and it keeps you on top of your game.

**************

"I knew it!" declares Clem with an ecstatic glow lighting up his face. "The Final Days are upon us! Glory be! Like Ezekial I have seen the wheel glowin' in the sky! The Elect will be lifted up clean out of this world of sin and sorrow and put down rejoicin' for all Eternity at the right hand of the Lord. Our inheritance is nigh!!! The Day of our Deliverance is at hand!!!"

"Yes, Clem," agrees Maybelle, "I 'spect you're right, but why...why do you suppose the Lord took that crazy, disresponsible drunk driver first? Instead of us? Why would He do that?"

Clem frowns. He mulls it over. "Maybelle," he intones sagely, "the Lord works in strange ways..."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:13 PM

Thank you, IWTATBM. I will treasure the moment.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:12 PM

Congratulations Peace - may it bring you luck.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 06:06 PM

I don't think anyone has actually claimed post 2071 in the history of Mudcat. I hereby do.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 05:32 PM

I wish I'd told him to slow down instead of hurry now - I'ts all my fault.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 01:42 PM

Clem and Maybelle have been going out for the last 32 years on this day for a nice country drive in celebration of their wedding anniversary. It's their way of keeping the magic of their marriage alive through the long and difficult years. As members of the local Church of Jesus Christ of the Evangelizing Angels, Clem and Maybelle take their marriage vows seriously, and do everything they can to maintain the holiness of their bond. It so happens that Clem and Maybelle, like many other young courting couples, used to go out to Seldom Seen Road to be "alone" together, but unlike those godless types who are given to committing illicit acts in the back seats of cars, they always stayed in the front seat and simply held hands.

On this evening Clem slows down as the sign of Seldom Seen Road comes into view.

"Do you see that, Maybelle? There is the very road where you and I declared our love before the Lord on that day so long ago..."

"Oh, yes, Clem," replies Maybelle, blushing to the roots of her blue-permed hair. "How could I ever forget that wonderful day? Oh, Clem, why don't we go and look at the very spot where you held my hand and spoke those words I shall never forget?"

"Why, that is a fine idea, Cupcake..." Clem begins to make the turn. He is halfway into it when he notices the sounds of rapidly approaching vehicles, and a siren...as over the hill roars the red pickup truck, fishtailing wildly, with the screaming police cruiser in hot pursuit. The sound of the siren blends with Maybelle's terrified shriek as Clem's fingers freeze white-knuckled on the wheel.

"Oh SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!" screams Shane, violently wrenching his wheel to the left. Don's pickup does a screeching slide across the road, just barely clips Clem's Bonneville a glancing blow on the left front fender and sends it spinning off the other way, into the path of the oncoming cruiser.

"Look out!" yells Officer Dana. Officer Crayne turns white and hit the brakes so hard that he damn near drives the pedal through the floor. The cruiser misses the spinning Bonneville by a hairsbreadth, does several screeching donuts down the road and ends up in the ditch with its nose pointing due south and its tires smoking........as Don's pickup meantime sails backward clean through a barbed wire fence and a stand of cedar saplings and into the midst of a blackberry patch. The engine coughs and dies.

Shane tries desperately to restart it, but without success. He has come to the end of the line. It is definitely time to abandon ship. He tumbles out of the truck and fights his way frantically through a mass of blackberry bushes...

Officer Dana leaps out of the stranded cruiser and quickly checks out Clem and Maybelle. They are shaken up, but unharmed. She rushes back to the cruiser. Officer Crayne is still hanging on to the wheel, hyperventilating.

"Snap out of it!" she yells, shaking him by his shoulders. "He's getting away!" Crayne goggles at her wordlessly and gets out of the car. "Follow me!" she snaps, unholstering her sidearm.

Shane, swinging his arms like a demented circus clown on a rampage, plunges northward through the blackberries. "This is not flippin' goin' like I planned it," he complains. "Ouch! Flip me! Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh, Jeez! Flip me!"

Definitely not a good day for unrequited love in the wilds of North Ontario.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 05:29 AM

Hurry Shane, hurry!

I think it's a right turn you need Clem and Maybelle - fingers crossed.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 10:03 PM

Meanwhile, Clem and Maybelle have reached the junction of Seldom Seen Road and are discussing which way to turn....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:43 PM

"That truck looks really familiar to me," says Officer Dana. "Can you make out the plate?"

"It's really dirty, but...it looks like FLP-U-2 to me," says Officer Crayne. "A vanity plate. That ring a bell?"

"Hell, yes," replies Officer Dana. "I knew it! That heap belongs to Don McBride from Blind River. He's the second biggest loser in this entire region, and I have a feeling I know who is behind the wheel, although I didn't get much of a look at him..."

"Don McBride?" inquires Crayne. Officer Crayne has always prided himself on his powers of logic and deduction.

"No," answers Officer Dana, frowning. "Don is bald. That guy wasn't bald. He had a full head of long, messy hair. That guy has got to be Don's younger brother, Shane."

"Omigod," blurts Crayne. "THE Shane McBride? The one who used to write the Blind Drunk in Bind River column for the papers? The one who's been arrested 350 times for 840 different violations? The one who tried to bribe the judge by offering him a free ounce?"

"Bingo. I'd bet a month's salary it was him...although I suppose it could have been one of their loser friends..."

"Well, we'll know soon enough. He can't get away. No chance. I'm closing in on him."

Up ahead a few car lengths Shane looks back desperately. "They're gainin' on me! Omigod!" He prays to the gods of the demolition derby to give the tired old engine in Don's pickup one more boost...enough to make it to Seldom Seen Road, his favorite route of escape..."Nobody can catch me if I get to Seldom Seen Road! Nobody!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:15 PM

Somewhere a good way east of Blind River a beat-up old red pickup truck careens down the road, narrowly avoiding collision with an oncoming 18-wheeler...

"HEY! Watch it, ya fliphead!" yells the disheveled hoser at the wheel of the pickup truck. He has an open beer in his right hand, and several empties are rolling around on the floor.

The 16-wheeler comes within a hair of losing control as the cursing driver wrestles with the wheel, and gapes at the hoser's pickup truck which is rapidly vanishing in the distance. The enraged trucker gets on his CB right away and reports a drunk driver going east...

A few miles away Officer Dennis Crayne and Officer Jennifer Dana are cruising along. Officer Crayne is a new recruit, and Officer Dana, reassigned to the Sudbury west area, is showing him around and acquainting him with what he may expect to run into. They receive a report regarding the hoser in the eastbound pickup.

"Let's go," says Officer Dana.

"Awright!" says Officer Crayne. "Can I put the siren on?"

"Not yet," says Officer Dana. "Wait till we have visual contact."

"Stupid flippin' truckers," grumbles Shane. "They think they own the whole flippin' road! That fliphead could've kilt me!" He realizes that he is down to nothing but fumes on the last beer, and tosses the bottle out the window. It is hard to drive if you get too many empties rolling around by yer feet, eh?

A couple more miles whiz by. Shane has almost forgotten about the truck when he comes over the crest of a hill and sees....

"COPS!!!"

Yup. It's officers Dana and Crayne. Their lights and siren go on as Shane yells, "FLIP ME!!!" He floors it, and flashes by the cruiser as Officer Crayne's mouth drops open.

In the split second that Shane passes the cruiser he recognizes the face in the passenger seat beside Officer Crayne...the beautiful face that has haunted him for years...cool blue eyes, sculptured cheekbones, perfect jawline...

"HOLY SHIT!" screams Shane in horror..."That was Officer Dana! I am flipped if she finds out it was me behind the wheel! Flipped like yesterday's roadkill! Deader than a fippin' skunk on a hot griddle! She CAN'T find out it was me! Omigod! Omigod! Go, your flippin' truck! Go!"

The pursuit begins...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 05:47 PM

You're a free person, unless it happens again.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 04:51 PM

Can't stay long as I'm not sure if I'm a free person or a lucky escapee. With Shane having gone I guess he won't want his beers now so I will instead drink them in his honour and as a way of apologising for aliengate.

Cheers Shane. Hope we're all square now. Hic

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:01 AM

He is off to meet Officer Dana, and I'll bet he does.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 09:03 PM

Holy flippin' HELL! You done it now, Rapaire. You started a flippin' shitstorm here! The little brother took off like a flippin' bat outta hell in MY TRUCK!!!!! The fliphead was goin' east. I figger he must be headin' for Huntsville. YOu done this, Rapaire. You will be to blame if I find my flippin' truck rapt around a goddam tree or somethin'! The idiot does not even have no license. Which figgers. No one would be dumb enuff to give him one, eh? He can drive....sort of...but he can't flippin' be trusted to drive in any way that would, like, not be attractin' attenshun...and I mean the wrong SORT of attenshun. I mean the kind of attenshun that comes with a gun and a badge. Jeezus flip! Now I gotta see if I can borrow another vehicle so's I can follow up and maybe catch him. You otta keep yer big mouth shut, Rapaire! I am outta here!

- Don

p.s. He took all the goddam beer too! I guess he figgered he might need emergancy rashoins on the road. He is in big trouble when I find him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 05:31 PM

I can flippin' do anything when I put my mind to it...

Words, words, words. Ho-hum. Yammer, yammer, yammer. Thought for a while there, "Shane," that you really HAD become a man of deeds instead of hot air. Well, you've always got a future in politics, sittin' in Ottawa.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 04:31 PM

Yeah????? I wisht you was here to say that to my FACE, you flippin' corkpuller! We will see! I can flippin' do anything when I put my mind to it, see? Anything!!! Just WATCH ME!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 04:15 PM

No. If you were looser you'd fall apart. I'm saying that you don't have the flippin' GUTS to go to Jennifer Dana and "declare yourself." And that makes you a


LOSER LOSER LOSER!!!

You could change, but you probably don't have the flippin' guts to.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 03:53 PM

I hate you, man. You SUCK!!! You are the number one flippin' bolthole of all histry.

Are you sayin' I'm a looser??? Is that what your sayin'? Well? Are you?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 03:47 PM

So, Don -- what size food you buying "Shane" these days?

And is it true that he's got a new job that fits him like a glove?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 01:52 PM

Well, Don, you know how it is. Some got it and some ain't. I think he coulda had Officer Dana in his arms, but, well, like I said




LOSER!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 01:18 PM

Oh man, you really flippin' nailed the little brother that time, Rapaire! HOOO-WEEE! He is fit to be flippin' tied! He is so mad at you that he is just flippin' beside himself. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ya know why? You got it dead flippin' right. The boy chickened out. He could've had them aleyeins drop him right off in Huntsville and took the bull by the horns, but he did not. He blew it.

Good flippin' thing too, cos that cold-hearted bitch Jennifer Dana woulda turned him down for sure, eh? And I hate to think what might happen then.

No, it is better this way. I would rather have a loudmouthed flippin' looser for a little brother than be called to identify his flippin' dead corpse when they find him hangin' from the overpass outside Huntsville! You bet. Things are gettin' back to abnormle around here, and that's okay with me. He needs to just forget about Officer flippin' Dana and get on with his main job which is drivin' everybody around here nuts and givin' 'em somethin' to laff up there sleeves at when he ain't lookin'. He is a McBride, man! You gotta let a McBride BE a McBride. Never forget that.

Besides, I need him around. He makes me look pretty good, eh? I would hate to have to carry the legassy of the family pride all alone, know what I'm sayin'?

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 07 - 09:53 AM

I set the beacon that summoned Them, because I wanted to test "Shane" and see if he had the fortitude and guts to go through with his resolution of ask for the hand (and other parts) of Jennifer Dana. Would he complete the task he set for himself, even through the greatest difficulties? Was he, in other words, a real man?

So far, "Shane" has failed. I can only offer him the words of Robert Browning:

He either fears his fate too much
Or his desserts are small,
Who does not put it to the touch
To gain or lose it all.

So far ----------------------- LOSER!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 11:22 PM

A good Canadian beer...like this one?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 06:09 PM

Flip me! So it was flippin' YOU who got me flippin' adducted, eh, IWTATBM??? Geezus flip! You sure flippin' cawsed a lot of flippin' trouble, eh?

It is a good thing that I am so smart, eh? I outsmarted them aleyen flipheads totally, man. I left 'em at a flippin loss fer words, lemme tell ya. I took on there greatest minds and flippin' redooced 'em to speechlessnes! They was droolin' on the floor, man, with there flippin' mouths hangin' open.

It is no secret that I have majer talents and am a nacheral leader of men. this flippin' thread is all the proof of that which anyone could need.

Don't feel like you have to, like, leave forever on account of what you done, IWTABTM. I am the forgiving kind, eh? If you will just send me a coupla 2-4's then all will be fergiven. Make sure it is Canadian beer.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 05:22 PM

Holy shit! So it was you who got the aliens to kidnap Shane? What have you wrought??? Think of what this could mean to future intergalactic species relations...

If they think that Shane is our "leader", what will they think about the rest of us?

They might decide to euthanize the entire friggin' planet as an act of mercy!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 05:04 PM

I return to you now reformed, deformed and more humble than I have ever returned humbly before. I am not sure if I have escaped again from The Spa or have been released unceremoniously. Either way the door was open, no one was around and I limped out. Kind Rapaire's staff have reshaped me into a more worthwhile human being and any pain was meant for my greater good. In fact if it hadn't have been for Rapair I might have become a despot. Here is my confession.

It was a clear night in May and I was walking around Ambridge village green when I noticed a strange blue light over Lower Loxley. On approaching the source of the light I found myself being abducted by aliens who instructed me to identify my leader forthwith and not a moment later. Well the temptation was just too much. Not specifying which leader they wanted, I chose, for selfish reasons, my thread leader Shane. In a flash I saw in his departure a way of furthering my own thread ambitions. He was easy to point out on Google Earth for obvious reasons and despite what the aliens might have said they knew who they wanted and they knew where to find him. Of no further use to the aliens (I was a bit offended by this) they set me down in the village of Darrington, which is a whole lot scarier than aliens I don't mind telling you. My imposed leadership started well and I encountered little opposition. Unfortunately the first opposition I did encounter was enough and I was overthrown and taken for correction and improvement by Rapair's staff. I will speak no further of this.

Rest assured fellow posters I hold no further ambitions relating to this thread and am now contented with my lot. I hope you will find it in your hearts to forgive me.

Your old friend

IWTATBM









FFP

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 07 - 03:28 PM

Don't we always?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Jun 07 - 12:31 PM

I am leaving for points south in a couple of days and will have little, if any, opportunity to post while away. I will be gone for two weeks. Carry on.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 07 - 12:00 PM

Probably. The local sheep best watch out.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Jun 07 - 09:10 AM

I think you might be getting Shane excited, what with all this talk about whips and bare backs.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 04:19 PM

Just watch what you say about that dude Up North. He's the one who could stick it to you. 99.9% of the Catholics don't care, but if you piss him off enough he might, well, you know.... And remember, in the Rule of St. Benedict (which is used in all those monasteries) it is written about those who left and then returned:

...let a correction be applied to him, namely, proceed against him with corporal punishment.

And they mean whipping, buddy. Flogging. On your bare back.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 03:35 PM

Flip. You really think so? Geez. And there are Catholics in this town too. I know some. Flip me. This is the price I pay, eh? Just becoz I am one of those type of dudes that everyone admires and a legend in my own flippin' time it figgers that I might attract unwanted attenshun from powerful people like the Vatrican, don't it? This is what happens when word gets around. Flip. If only I was not such a totally cool and popular dude with the ladies I would not hafta worry about stuff like this.

Well, I am gonna hafta be extra careful. That's the way I see it.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 01:36 PM

"Shane," I'm not kidding about that Opus Dei business. The Vatican is short on religious folks and...well, there have been rumors about Opus Dei for years. Things like assassinations, even. And the Vatican has people in every country of the world.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 01:22 PM

Man...you are one sick flipper! That is all I got to say. No one is gonna flippin' make me live on bread, water, silence, and flippin' CHASTITY! Jeezus FLIP! I would rather be flippin' dead, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 10:53 AM

Just for that, "Shane," he probably won't share with you the money he makes working the gold mine this winter. Could be a lot, too -- that's an area from which they've taken a lot of gold over the years.

Or -- and this just occured to me -- he could tell the Vatican where you are and that you're really the former Brother Crispin Fiacre, OCSO. Then the Vatican would tell Opus Dei operatives who would kidnap you, take you away to Spain for an Inquisition, and lock you away forever in a remote Trappist monastery where you'd live out your life on bread, water, silence, and chastity. Eventually you'd be buried in a monk's habit in the monastery cemetery, in an unmarked grave. And nobody would know what happened to you -- you'd just disappear.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 09:34 PM

Ha!!! So the idiot-boy flipfaced looser up north that thinks he is me nearly drownded in chicken shit, eh? DECENT! That is what happens to chickenshit loosers like him. Ha! Ha! Ha!

- Shane (the real one) (not the flippin' imposeder)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 03:22 PM

It's not quite the same thing as drowning in beer, is it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 03:41 PM

better?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 03:31 PM

Oh, dear....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 03:24 PM

It is nice to see that (Northern) Shane is with people who care.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Ike
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 02:59 PM

This here is Ike Tomson. I live up here in Mayo. Raise chickens, usually lose some during the winter of course. While back a guy shows up lookin' like a fool but he was down on his luck and the Corporal at the Mountie post asked me to give him a hand. So I took him on for bed an' feed and put him to shovelin' chickenshit. All he had to do was to us a scoop shovel to move the chickenshit from the floor under the chickens' perches to the manure tank outside the barn. Then every couple months a truck comes and sucks all the chickenshit out the manure tank and takes it away to be turned into fertilizer.

Well anyway this morning this doofus is scoopin' the chickenshit when he slips on somethin' and slides right into the chickenshit tank, shovel and all. I come by and see him floatin' the in the chickenshit and pull him out and call the ambulance. I even give him artificial desperation like I was taught because I sure as hell ain't gonna give him no mouth-to-mouth.

So they took him into town to the hospital and he ain't dead but we think his brain might be hurt from the immershun in the chickenshit. Right now the docs are tryin' to figure out how to tell.

He talked about this innernet place a lot of times so I figured it was full of his freinds and so I thought I'd let you all know.

I'm afraid I ain't gonna hire that boy back because if you can't scoop chickenshit I don't know what you can do.

Your friend,

Ike Tomson, A Chicken Farmer
Mayo, YT

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 01:59 PM

Whatever your specific need, The Spa has trained professionals to assist you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 01:50 PM

We have highly trained experts on every facet of Spa work. For example, you want pellegra humanorum, we can supply it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 01:47 PM

The Spa has several highly trained skin care experts on staff.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 09:26 AM

The Spa also has aromatherapy and we will scrub you skin REALLY clean. So clean that you'll feel like you don't have any skin at all!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 01:19 PM

But (Northern) Shane, The Spa has the most wonderful manicure equipment. It elicits all sorts of oohs and aahs, I'm sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 08:58 AM

Like, if I was n't going to be rich from the gold mine this winter I'd flippin' go home! The muskitoes are like flippin' HUGE! And it never gets dark. Sort of like dusk, but not dark, ya know? But if it gets hard to sleep I just drink some o f the hoochanew that this guy I take care of flippin' chikens for until I start at the gold mine makes. But lemme tell you that I really HATE flippin' chickens! Man, he must have thousan of them and I have to feed them and like, worse, clean up the flippin' chikenshit! True! I put it in a big hole in the groundc with a skoop shofel. But it's good praktis for workin' at the gold mine.

-- Shane McBride (the real one)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 07:13 PM

No one WILL lay a hand on you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 06:22 PM

No flippin' WAY, meat-fer-brains! No one lays a flippin' hand on me. I am on the flippin' alert at, like, all times. I was not flippin' born yesterday, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 05:53 PM

Yes sir...hot wraps, hot wax treatments, manicure, pedicure, some skin treatments, the removal of unneeded hair, a little exercise to loosen up those joints....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 03:41 PM

I don't wish I were you. I know what's going to happen to you when you are brought to The Spa.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 03:03 PM

Flippin' right, eh?! I spotted them flippin' idiots right off, hangin' around by the Tim Hortons. What a pare of loosers!!! LOL! I laffed and laffed when I seen 'em.

No one is adductin' me no more. No one. Got that? I oustmarted the flippin' space alyens all by myself, eh? I did what flippin' NORAD can't even do! I am the Man. I rate bigtime. Every babe wishes she was mine. Every guy wishes he was me.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 01:28 PM

Rapaire, I think your operatives may have been found

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 01:23 PM

It looks like Artexis the Grey may have taken something away from his trip to Ontario after all.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 11:00 AM

The may be something nefarious afoot.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 08:39 AM

The group dispatched to Blind River seems to have disappeared. They were last seen entering a house belonging to someone named Tim Horton, where it was reported that "Shane" had been seen.

Information would be appreciated.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 10:13 AM

If you get the two "Shanes" together, be careful. It may result in achieving a critical mass, and causing an uncontrollable chain reaction.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 09:09 AM

We also have dispatched some people to Blind River, Ontario so that "Shane" can be brought to the spa and enjoy all of its wonderful features. Attendants will also be sent to Mayo to bring "Shane" to the spa to he can enjoy all of its wonderful features as soon as they are re-motivated to go there.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 09:02 AM

The longest journey starts with the first step. We have already taken 2,016.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 08:01 AM

Still a long way to 85 billion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 09:07 PM

Heavens to Betsey! The spa is nothing like that! I'm certain you're just joking around, just trying to jump the queue to get in and enjoy the relaxing atmosphere, educational opportunities, and delicious food. Why, 0087613-XD spent the day in the sun, studying our little friends the ants!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: concertina ceol
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:21 PM

not a hope....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 04:48 PM

My, such ambiance. This really looks like the sort of place to clear the mind and revive the spirit. Unfortunately, my holiday is already booked this year.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 11:09 AM

Ah, yes. We have some special treatments ready which will help 0087613-XD recognize that running away from your problems isn't solving them. And to help solve 0087613-XD's myriad "hangups" we've created special therapies. They are very technical, but we have found that the application of strong electric shocks to the cerebral cortex, combined with gentle electrical stimulation of the muscles at the same time often leads to more socially acceptable behavior.
















No, Igor! Bad Igor! No knives! Back to your cage! Bad Igor! Bad!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 07:57 AM

Just a quick note before I return to my wonderful physical and psychological treatment sessions. Rapaire's staff (hope you enjoyed my humorous reference to them as 'mob' earlier - they all laughed at that when they found out) have been looking after me very well and giving me champagne and truffles during my therapy sessions. Seems I am learning fast; for example I have recently learned to type with my toes. I just wanted to let you all know that I am having sucH a good timE, that I may not be abLe to Post for a while, but don't worry as I am being treated very well, and not badly at all. Must go as I am being called away for a treatment designed to strengthen the weak muscles in my upper arms. Farewell old friends.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 06:33 PM

So close recaptu discussing a return to the spa...and those blithering clumsy fools blew it! Well, they will be dealt with, I mean, gently reprimanded and their self-esteem reinforced.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 06:06 AM

Seems I've outwitted Rapaire and his mob at the 'spa' as he calls it. Boy have i got a story for you all. First, the spa is locat

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:22 PM

We have Watchers there. We have Watchers at ALL border crossings: from the US into Canada, US to Mexico, US to Laos, US to Nepal, US to Ulan Bator, and all the major ones as well, like from the US to Rigel 6 or Barsoom or Tir na nOg. There is no escape!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:03 PM

That's true. They will.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:02 PM

Run, IWTATBM! Run fast and far. Maybe you could wend your way to Blind River, Ontario. I understand they will take in just about anybody.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 06:32 PM

Well, darn. Someone left the door open and ol' 0087613-XD wandered off.

You needn't worry about it. We'll find it, she, or he and finish the spa treatments.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 09:08 AM

At the moment he, she, or it is enjoying a massage with warm stones.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 09:05 AM

LH, you got the Space Oddity number. I got a palindrome! Not as much fun as a pinwheel but still, I'll take my fun where I can get it. I was expecting 0087613-XD to escape check out and claim 2,000 for himself. Seems he is truly captivated by the place.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 12:33 AM

You really have no shame at all, do you? No wonder you relate to Shane so strongly.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 10:46 PM

around to take it! 2,000!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 10:46 PM

and no one but me

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 10:45 PM

to 2,000

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 10:45 PM

So near

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 10:45 PM

Gracious!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 04:20 PM

0087613-XD is alone right now. We couldn't accommodate 0087613-XD's request for a large room, but we were able to find one that measures 4 x 4 x 2 feet.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 01:36 PM

Rapaire, have you treated 0087613-XD to the spiritual benefits of some time alone to clarify his thoughts?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 12:03 PM

Pours beer over women, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 12:02 PM

Well, beer is easier to come by.

Uh.....hmmm. Or is it the other way around?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 11:41 AM

Prefers beer over women, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 11:32 AM

They chose Blind River. He's been partying and celebrating with Don. He seems to have gotten sidetracked from the Huntsville/Officer Dana quest for a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 09:54 AM

Shane, did they drop you off in Huntsville or back in Blind River?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 10:03 AM

Enemy? We have no enemies in the spa. Only those who must be brought back into harmony with the Universe by restoring their physical, mental, and spiritual balance.

For example, we found that one of our guests had weak breathing. To strengthen the lungs and chest we put the guest on the floor and gently fastened his arms and legs so that he formed an "X". This would help him utilize his full lung power. Then we put a board over his chest and put weights on it to strengthen his chest muscles. Each day we added more weight.

0087613-XD needs other therapy, and we are currently trying to decide between manicures, finger exercises, or a simple mechanically-assisted stretching session. We might remove some of that unwanted body hair, too -- our hot-wax technicians are very good.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 09:51 AM

Rapaire, if you claim Prisoner Number 0087613-XD is an 'enemy of the state' you can do away with the niceties.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:59 PM

And so the day becomes a little more surreal...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:40 PM

Prisoner Number 0087613-XD is sentenced to all the dry bread which can be eaten one day and is able to have all the water the prisoner wants on the next day, but on no day shall the prisoner have both. And the bread shall be of the "salt rising" variety and the water from the ditch, gutter, or other natural water source nearest the prison spa door. This, as well as the beatings massage therapy, will help restore the ying-yang balance, which is way out of whack.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 05:12 PM

Awww...flip me. Geez. Maybe I should not of wigged out at ya like that, Rapaire. That was achshully a flippin' not bad idea you had there. Geez. I am real sorry, man.

Maybe it is still worth a try, eh? Maybe if I act sorta strange every now and then...like I'm beaming signals back or somethin'. I will put the silver suit on, go out in the backyard late at night, and act like I'm communicatin' important stuff back to the mother ship. Yeah. Cool!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 03:44 PM

Don't forget to give IWTATBM 0087613-XD his bread and water for today.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 03:16 PM

Besides, dummy, I was trying to get your brother to report it to the police so that Officer Jennifer Dana would come looking for you. Who do you think they'd send, Sergeant Preston of the Yukon?

Jeez, I try to do something nice and get slammed.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 03:01 PM

"Shane," autographing a book with an "X" isn't really very hard.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 02:05 PM

Welcome back, Shane. Did you meet Cp'n Kirk?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 01:38 PM

Hey, Rap-man? FLIP YOU!!! You are always cozin' trouble, man. You are a flip-faced son of a skank that don't know nothin' about nothin'. Here I have been addcuted by laiens and took 50,000 flippin' light years outa my way and then excaped by my own flippin' brilliansse and you are tryin' to flippin' coz a splt atween me and my big brother! You are a flippin' bolthole.

I know stuff now that nobody knows becoz I have seen things that nmost peple will never ever see. I KNOW all about the aliens, man. I am gonna write a book and get rich. When I am signin' copies of that book and you come crawlin' to me for a ottograff I will just laff in yer stoopid face! Ha! Ha! Eat me, you flipfaced jerkwad!@

- Shane (home again at last!)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 10:14 AM

I was gone for a couple of days. Anything interesting happen while I was out?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 11:57 PM

Don, please take my advice to heart and call the cops!! Only they have the resources to tell if this creature is "Shane" or some chlorine-breathing space alien with a mouth full of poison teeth waiting until you are asleep to do unspeakable things to you. If you don't call the cops, well, I hope you get to like their "probes."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 05:00 PM

Sorry, but it's for IWTATBM's own good. Yes, IW (or as IWTATBM is called around here, Number 0087613-XD) is kept chained to wall, toes barely touching the ground, next to a former guard, but it's all for 0087613-XD's own good. You've heard the statement "No Pain, No Gain." We're doing all we can to make 0087613-XD gain from this little experience. The chaining up, for instance, is good for the back -- you'd pay a chiropractor BIG BUCK$ for this! The toenail thing was just to cure a couple nasty old hangnails, and 0087613-XD is getting an up-close-and-personal experience with some animals and reptiles others will rarely see, much less get to touch. Just think, next we're going to do some free dental work to clean out some of that nasty old tooth decay we think is there!

"Chambers of horror," indeed. This is a spa which is providing a complete makeover for free!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:45 PM

Just bribed a guard to get this last post out (made him and honorary FFP plus lots of cash - I think it was the cash wot done the trick). I'm being held by a treasonous bunch headed by Rapaire. And to think I gave him such an important position in my new democratic republic. Fellow posters, comrades, nay, friends, you don't seem to understand; my seizure of power wasn't for my benefit but for yours and to secure the future of the thread. Don't let me rot in one of Rapair's chambers of horror.

And the nasty rumour that I tipped off the aliens as to Shane's whereabouts has been greatly exaggerated. I may have pointed him out using Google Earth but that was only to show them the proud image of my beloved leader.

Got to go, some brute's coming my way with a cat o' nine tails.

Infamy, infamy, you've all got it infamy.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:40 PM

Don, I hate to through cold water on your joy, but are you sure that it's not some weird alien THING made up to look like and act like "Shane"? Make it prove it's "Shane" some way, but remember that the aliens would have copied "Shane's" genetic makeup and taken all of his memories and put then into this THING.

Ask yourself this: "Would my little brother EVER be seen, even by me, wearing a silver bodysuit?? Like a cheap-o Elvis impersonator?" And I'll bet you you'll answer yourself with, "NOT NEVER! Not my l'il brother!"

Tie this alien up good and tight and call the cops. They got them X-file squads to handle this stuff. This could be a brain-sucking lamprey man from Pohasset-6 or something who's disguised as "Shane".

Don't take a chance, man!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:01 PM

IWTATBM is still under arrest, and will be held in undisclosed locations until we beat the truth out of get to the bottom of the matter.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 01:02 PM

OH MY FlIP!!! It is flippin' sellabration time! The little brother has been returned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It happened last night, eh? I heard a knock at the door around 2 AM. I opened it.....and there was the little brother! He was dressed in some kinda weird silver body suit but it was deffinitly him, eh? We both busted inta tears. He said he hadda have a beer bad. He was flippin' desparate. So I got some beers and we sat down and got flippin' wasted till about sunrise and he told me the hole flippin' story. Un-flippin-beleevable! He has been acrost the flippin' galaxay, man. No shit.

I am thinkin' we can probally sell the silver suit fer a bundle on EBay. I gotta look into it. Then we right a flippin' book about the aleyen adduction and make a million flippin' dollars.

Shane is hung over like a tart and I am not in such good shape neether, but I hadda let you alls know that he is back.

Now I am gonna get a rest. The little brother will tell youse all about it in awhile when he is back on his feet, eh?

Flippin' A. See ya later.

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 10:43 AM

I really doubt that there's much more to be learned from "Shane." You might want to keep his DNA pattern as a warning, however.

IWTATBM, you're under arrest. Please come quietly to Secret Police Headquarters and we will keep you imprisoned in our best facility, the one without the rats and roaches (as we like to say, "A little R&R is good for you!").

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 07:44 AM

He'll have to find a new thread, this one's taken.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 11:51 PM

Artixes here. We are now returning the Shane. This is after extensive testing and retesting of his intelligence by exposing him to conditions on our home planets and taking him around to various interesting places to see if we could broaden his horizons.

I am sorry to say that they still seem to be exceedingly narrow! He has been agitating for beer, "smokes", "pizza" and other valueless things of that sort. He is a helpless slave of his corporeal appetites! It's sad. One has to wonder what sort of upbringing such a creature would have had to end up this way.

The Shane was introduced to some of the greatest minds among our people in order to retest the mind-meld process that had gone so awry with Meklor. The results were almost catastrophic. A panel of our greatest scientists and philosophers were reduced to babbling, drooling incoherence by the Shane, who drained from them virtually all their intelligence while gaining apparently nothing for himself in the process. If not for the reflugation procedure, it would have been a disaster of the first magnitude.

We have decided that the Shane is too dangerous, therefore we are returning him posthaste to his own environs. He has requested to be sent either to Blind River or Huntsville. Huntsville appears to be a smallish settlement, whereas Blind River is what could best be described as "a flyspeck in the middle of nowhere".

Decisions, decisions.

Normally we would erase the Earthling's memories of his experiences with us, both for his protection and for ours. In this case, however, we have come to the conclusion that the Shane will not be a danger, simply because no matter what he says no one will believe him. He has zero credibility. That is my opinion.

He told us, for instance, that the three most valuable things on Earth were:

1. beer
2. marijuana
3. "babes"

This has turned out to be very inaccurate information. Beer is a common and noxious drink that causes intoxication. Marijuana is a common plant that causes intoxication. Both are of little or no value.

As for "babes"...they turned out to be simply younger female humans of good childbearing age. What a disappointment! Does the word "boring" come to mind? It makes me feel quite embarrassed that we wasted so much time over something so completely unimportant and mundane as this primitive creature's need to engage in bizarre mating rituals.

We did, in fact, secure several of these "babes" and introduced them to the Shane in hopes that they would engage in mating activities which would assist us in better understanding Earthlings. They all refused pointblank to mate with the Shane! This, after he had assured us that he was irresistible to Earth females. What a dreadful liar.

Well, it's been an interesting episode, although a frustrating one. We shall continue to monitor the Shane from a distance, just in case we missed something.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 10:44 PM

I really wouldn't mind the H&H .700 Nitro Express Double Rifle, though. They're custom built and cost about US $200,000.00. Cartridges are about US $100.00 each; please include a couple of cases with the gun.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 08:01 PM

Head of the Secret Police, or off to the firing squad witcha.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 06:07 PM

An attempted coup eh - and so soon. Does it have to be weapons, or will a a high ranking position in the new regime do the trick? - I'm on the look out for a good deputy.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 02:46 PM

Like heck you will!

You have insulted "Shane" and for that my friends, few though they are, will call upon you. You may choose the weapons, although I suggest .700 Holland and Holland Nitro Express Double Rifles at several hundred miles. Two fires. You supply the guns and ammo.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 03:58 PM

I doubt very much that we'll ever see Shane again and therefore claim thread leadership, based on being the first to claim the prize. My first act as leader will be to dedicate my 2000th post to him in an act of remembrance. The king is gone; long live the king (me). I shall be a benevolent dictator and take the thread forward in leaps and bounds. Let the good times roll. .... Shane who?

IWTATBM TLFFP

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 03:25 PM

In your dreams! 2000 is mine, baby.

Where the H*ll is Shane? Did the aliens decide to keep him? The beer must have really rotted their brains.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 03:22 PM

2000!!!!!!!!

Just practising

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 05:06 PM

1961

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 05:05 PM

a pinwheel number.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 05:04 PM

we are almost up to

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 05:04 PM

So I got to thinking

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 03:43 PM

And if the coat of the horse were a particular type it would be The Bridal Bridle on the brindle horse of The Bride of The McBride of McBride.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 03:23 PM

And the woman he marries would be The Bride of The McBride of McBride. Her horse would wear the The Bridal Bridle of The Bride of The McBride of McBride.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 12:58 PM

Leader of the Laundromat, maybe? That would seem to involve the washing of clothing, though, so maybe not.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 12:38 PM

Donal McBride...The McBride of McBride. Chief of Clan McBride. Leader of the Pack.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 09:17 AM

Don, this is just a suggestion, but you know maybe you'd better start thinking about, well, continuing the family? It looks like you'll be the only one left (unless Shanetta starts breeding), but "Shane" is gone and/or gonna freeze his jewels off this Winter in the Yukon.

It's up to you now, man. The McBride name will pass away unless you marry and have kids to carry it on, preferably in that order.

You, Don, are now the Pride of McBride.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 09:20 PM

As a good bad example?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 07:30 PM

This is me, eh? Don. I have been, like, cryin'. I ain't ashamed to admit it. The little brother has been gone fer a whole month! He, like, vanished sometime around May 10th as close as I can figger it, somewheres sought of Sudbury, and he ain't been seen hide ner hare of since. This is not flippin' good!

I finally seen Officer Jennifer Dana yestterday. They are takin' this thing seriously! She won't say much except that there was some "unusual sightings" in that area. She is keepin' mum about whatever they know about it, but I can tell she is takin' it serious, eh? This is real serious.

The little brother may be gone fer good. It is hard to beleeve this. I wake up each mornin' and I'm thinkin' it was just a bad dreeam but he is REALLY gone!

What if they took him for his brain? His brain might be sittin' in a jar right now! Holy flip. Or they might of took him so's they can force him to breed with weird-lookin' hairless alyen females that don't have no hair! That would be a fate worse than flippin' death!

On the other hand, at least he would be gettin' some fer a change...

Well, I am really broke up about it. Who is gonna steal my beer and smokes now? Who is gonna eat up half of my paycheck every month? Who is gonna lissen to Ozzy records and get drunk with me on the weekend? What is gonna happen to the fambly?

I did not get to make my proposishion to Jennifer cos I was too upset about the little brother.

Anyways, I don't think she woulda gone for it. She is one hard woman, that one. She is married to her flippin' job.

Good lookin' though...

Man, I am really flipped up over this. I can't flippin' beleeve them alyens took a McBride. I just can't flippin' beleeve it. What the flip good is it livin' in a sosiety where no one can do flip-all about somethin' like this and the police and the military flipheads are totally flippin' useless? Why did the the aleyens take my little brother? Why!???

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 03:41 PM

I see now how can land such babes as those in your previous offering. Hot-cha-cha.

(Isn't that the shoe bomber?)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 03:04 PM

And I done think I found a picher of "Shane" his own self when he was all dressed up purty for his funeral, which he missed.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 08:01 PM

I dunno about "Shane" but I found a picture of a couple of his girl friends.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 01:51 PM

Big news! I think I just had a Shane sighting - in his Silver Suit!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 09:19 AM

Not at all, IWTATBM, I just take a few days off from time to time. I was going to go get it today if nobody else had but you saved me the trouble.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Gazebo
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 11:44 PM

Where's the hatchet?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:20 PM

Sometimes I think that I'm the only one who gives a damn about the future of this thread.

Refresh

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 May 07 - 02:13 PM

Where did it go? I didn't get my order form filled out completely. Now I have to go to the other threads for their spam.

I read one time that the makers of Spam are not happy about the association of their name with mass emails.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 07 - 02:03 PM

Thanks, but I have to watch my viagra intake.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 May 07 - 12:09 PM

Now I'm up here in Alaska looking around for gold
Like a crazy fool I'm a digging in this frozen ground so cold
But with each new day I pray I'll strike it rich and then
I'll go back home and claim my love in Blind River, Ontario

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 29 May 07 - 03:13 PM

This guy, called if yo can flippin' beleve it 'the Mad Trapper ov Rat River 2"" is the guy who has hired me to work his gold mine. He said I can call him 'Rat sins I'll be workin' for him. So he took me out to this goold mine and its a flippin' HOLE IN THE GROUND! You clim down a flippin' ladder! But I went down an\ theirs gold! Like you can see it in the flippin' sand and the walls, but you have to use a candle but thats ok. I thikn I can sneek gold out this winter whne Rat is n't around.

HOOHA! No more Sudbury skanks when I get back! THe people in Blind River are goin' to be flippin' BOWING DOWN to me! Don's gonna have to beg just to talk to me!

--Shane McBride (the rich one and only one)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 29 May 07 - 09:20 AM

Long weekend, good to be back. Where, where, where have you been what, what, what? It is indeed nice to hear from you again.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 07 - 10:23 PM

I have returned!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 28 May 07 - 06:25 PM

Slow going for a Monday isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 28 May 07 - 02:31 PM

Hello what, what, what. It's nice to hear from you again - it's been a while.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what
Date: 28 May 07 - 01:27 PM

PHEW !

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 28 May 07 - 01:14 PM

Back from the brink

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 25 May 07 - 08:02 PM

I have sent a note to Officer Dana about the little brother's bein' missin' and all that and how he was took by the eliens. I sent it by way of a cop I know here in town. We will see if she flippin' cares now, eh?

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 25 May 07 - 12:40 PM

Man, you got no idea. Shane does not work, eh? Never. He is teh worlds champeen dogflipper. He will never spend no winter workin' in a flippin' goldmine! No flippin' way. What he will do if he is there is to hang arownd and bum smokes and stuff off peopel and he will pick up any gold that he sees just layin' around and probablby take it to the pond shop. I figger he will come up with enuff cash to buy a 6-pack. That's my guess.

That is if he ain't been took to Jupiter by the aleyens.

I'm hedgin' my bets here. I am gonna inform the OPP that he has gone missin'. It's time those lazy flippers did some public service, eh?

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 07 - 09:10 AM

Yeah, but he might be up in the Yukon, thinking he's going to get rich by working a gold mine all winter.

Hmmm...Don, if the Yukon guy is your brother you still might have to marry and raise a family, cuz "Shane" could very well freeze his jewels off up there. I was up there one winter and noticed all the brass monkeys wore fur jockstraps. Would it be worth it to come home loaded down with gold but with your...manhood...shattered by the cold? I know that "Shane" doesn't have much of it but I'm sure he's attached to what little there is.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 24 May 07 - 02:42 PM

Ha! You are a real flippin' humerist ain't you, Rapaire? Beleeve me, I don't confine myself nohow when it comes to spreadin' around the old genetic materail, but I was thinkin' about if I had to, like, settle down and raze a fambly, eh? You know? You gotta sorta give it the old collidge try if ya decide to go fer broke and do the married and kids thing.

Somethin' just crossed my mind, eh? That Officer Dana might be real broke up about Shane bein' took by the alines and bein' lost to her forever. In her greif and sorrow she might then, like, turn to another strong pair of arms, eh? Know what I'm sayin'?

She earns reall good money. I'm thinkin' that every clowd has a sivler lining, eh?

Not that I ain't real broke up about what maybe happened to the little brother. I am heartbroken, eh? I'm tryin' to drink it off right now, man. It woulda helped if them Alien flipheads did NOT return all that flippin' beer! Un-be-flippin'-LEEV-able!.

They msut be brain dead or flippin' insane.

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 May 07 - 01:54 PM

That did seem like an odd comment coming from a McBride.

Maybe in his silver jumpsuit Shane thinks he is Elvis re-incarnated. Has anyone checked for new acts in Branson?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 07 - 01:36 PM

Don, nobody said you have to confine your genetic contribution to the human race to just one woman....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 24 May 07 - 10:29 AM

I got bad flippin' news. The 50,000 bottles of beer showed up back inside the beer store in Sudbury....and nobody knows how it was done! There was maybe a few beers short of what was took in the first place, but almost all of it showed up. There was also a flippin' penguin there! I mean a live one, eh? And there was a note sayin' that the penguin was in exchange fer the few beer that was not retruned. Nobody understands that at all, eh? It is flippin' weird.

There ain't no sine of the little brother. He could be flippin' GONE. This could be the end of my little brother Shane.

This is real flippin' bad. I might hafta have some kids now so the fambly does not die off. I was figgerin' to stay single and fancy free but now I am lookin' at the hole thing from a diffrernt angle, eh?

This is real flippin' bad. I hate to think that with all the women out there I gotta narrow it down to just one to have kids with. Flip me!

I hope that they return the little brother. I got my fingers and toes crossed that there is still hope.

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 May 07 - 09:24 AM

I guess that answers one of my questions.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 07 - 04:53 PM

Sorry. All that beer, you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 May 07 - 04:39 PM

WELL REALLY!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 07 - 03:57 PM

BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 May 07 - 03:41 PM

Maybe he's been abducted by aliens?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 May 07 - 01:03 PM

An Arthurian linked tartan would be a nice touch. I think it ties in with our Quest for 85 Billion.




BTW, are there any Shanes lurking about? I keep waiting for either an update from Artixes the Grey or a confused ramble from Southern Shane wondering why he is wearing a silver jumpsuit. And what ever became of the beer?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 23 May 07 - 11:22 AM

I thought maybe an unusual tartan might be nice for this thread, so I decided to go looking for one with my favourite colour in it * PURPLE * and came up with this - Orkney Tartan. I like the story that goes with it, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 May 07 - 09:28 AM

How about this one? I think it would do nicely.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 May 07 - 09:25 AM

Seems any cloth made with an 85 Billion thread count would be mighty dense. I do like the idea though, I will also give it some thought.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 07 - 11:56 PM

Let me think about the sett.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 May 07 - 03:38 PM

I think we should have an 85 billion clan tartan. Can anyone with good IT skills design an original one for us? Your skills will go down in thread history and your name will never die, if that helps.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 07 - 02:51 PM

I'll also point out that the bolo ties (which were gifts from my wife) probably cost more than all the cloth ties together. One of them is a LARGE chunk of silver shaped as a grizzly, another (which I happen to know listed for US $300.00, but she doesn't know I know that) is black onyx set in silver. And I'm talking 99.99% pure silver here!

The important thing, though, is that if I need to I can cast silver bullets to shoot werewolves with. You never know, out here in Idaho....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 May 07 - 02:14 PM

My maternal Grandfather wore bolo ties. His name was Beard but he had a mustache, we thought that was funny when I was a kid.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 07 - 01:15 PM

Some of them are quite nice. I don't have any that I bought "because I need a tie" -- they all were obtained for a reason. And some I inherited from my late FIL.

Personally I prefer bolo ties. Easier to put on and off.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 07 - 12:12 PM

90 ties! Well, that beats me - I don't have any.

I imagine a quilt made of ties would be a lot of work, but it would look pretty amazing!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 07 - 12:03 PM

Modern. And I also have Elliott.

(I have something like 30 plaid ties, including Rose, St. Andrews, Campbell of Argyll weathered, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Maple Leaf, RAF, McClain hunting, McDonald of Glencoe (which I keep at the other end of the rack from the Campbell of Argyle), England (my friend Marlene Elliott married Lloyd England -- true!), and a bunch of others.

I've got something like 90 ties, all told. When I retire, if I ever do, I'll let my wife make a quilt from them.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 07 - 11:44 AM

I have a tie in Maclean of Duarte (among other plaid ties)

I looked that one up, Rapaire and there is ancient, modern and weathered - all quite different. Which tartan is your tie?

By the way, KB, the blue in the Elliot tartan is lovely.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 May 07 - 09:14 AM

My maternal grandmother was an Elliott. I rather like it.

Perhaps, IWTATBM, you were thinking of plaid when I responded. It wasn't until then that I was focused in on your thoughts.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 07 - 09:10 AM

I have a tie in Maclean of Duarte (among other plaid ties).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 20 May 07 - 11:36 PM

I wonder what tartan would look like if you were mentally colour blind. I guess it depends which tartan. Here's my clan tartan - MacLaine of Lochbuie - I think it looks rather pretty.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 07 - 05:35 PM

No, I'm positing mental colo(u)r blindness.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 May 07 - 03:02 PM

We'll never reach 85 billion if you do that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 May 07 - 06:48 AM

Are you implying I don't know my own mind Rapaire? Six months ago I would have quit this thread for less than this.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 07 - 11:00 PM

No it wasn't. It was deep, deep, midnight blue.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 May 07 - 03:44 PM

... and it was orange.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 May 07 - 03:43 PM

Greedy

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 May 07 - 10:15 AM

1900

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 May 07 - 10:14 AM

"What colour am I thinking of?"

Plaid?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 May 07 - 07:10 AM

How would I know?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 07 - 10:33 PM

Could be Irish, or Falklander, or Welsh, or Scottish, or Aussie....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 May 07 - 07:14 PM

I figger it's gotta be a Canadian or a British colour, eh? Cos if it was American you woulda spelled it "color". That's a start.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 18 May 07 - 05:44 PM

We must be thinking in tandem KB. OK, I'm thinking of a colour. What colour am I thinking of?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 18 May 07 - 03:38 PM

Hey! Did you know that somebody stoel like 50,000 bottle of beer? Like 50,000 flippin' bottles of beer! In flippin' Sudbury! Like I dind't know that there was that much beerin Ontario! When I get bak I'm gonion to buy me that much flippin' beer and drink it all!

-- Shane McBride (whos going to be flippin' RICH!)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 May 07 - 02:30 PM

Oooh! Cross posts witht he exact same sentiment. How cool is that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 May 07 - 02:25 PM

Beats working.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 18 May 07 - 02:25 PM

Of course it doesn't KB, it could just mean that you are at work.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 May 07 - 02:24 PM

Perish the thought!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 May 07 - 02:13 PM

Keep in mind, the fact that I responded in three minutes doesn't mean I have no life.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 May 07 - 02:13 PM

1881 was the year that came right after 1880.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 May 07 - 02:12 PM

1881 is the same forwards and backwards and also upside down and turned around. Any which way you will, it is the same. It's a pinwheel number.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 18 May 07 - 02:09 PM

I think it's about time the 'I was there' clan had a sort of conference to discuss how we'd like the thread to develop. Naturally the rest of you could field questions and listen in.

The time of the clan is nigh.

By the way you're getting very high tech these days KB. Excuse my ignorance but what is the significance of 1881?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 May 07 - 12:56 PM

It has been a long time since IWTITMM has paid a visit. Sounds like you know him, please tell him he is missed. I'll be waiting. Not non-stop mind you, I have plenty of other things occupying my time. I don't like, you know, open this forum in the morning and then refresh it all day hoping to bring some sunshine into my otherwise sad little life. Nope, not me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 18 May 07 - 12:39 PM

Never mind, KB - you won it fair and square. I wasn't paying attention. Anyway, you spend a lot more time on this thread than I do. I'm sure it will make a very nice little personal fan for you.

Me mate, 'I Was There In The Middle Man' wasn't paying attention either. I think he must have gone on a long holiday. I'm sure he'll be back though.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 May 07 - 12:26 PM

I read your comment re: 18081 on the MOAB size thread. That got me to thinking I should do something special for the pinwheel we had coming up over here. I would have saved it for you if I knew you wanted this one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 18 May 07 - 12:23 PM

Oh no! I missed a pinwheel! I didn't notice the numbers on this thread. Next one's not for ages :-(

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 May 07 - 12:16 PM

1881

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 07 - 09:48 AM

Polygamy...polyandry...I can't think of a word to describe this. Maybe a new one will have to be invented...wait! Yes! Like the Marquis de Sade, like Sacher Masoch, I give you: Shaneism! And unlike other respectable perversions, such as masochism, sadism, necrophilia, pedophilia and such THIS ONE is never discussed in either polite or impolite society.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 May 07 - 09:39 AM

I take it this will be a formal wedding. What will Officer Dana say?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Buddy Whatsisname
Date: 17 May 07 - 05:36 PM

What? You mean the penguin? Are they gonna mate Shane with a penguin?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 07 - 05:17 PM

Good Heavens! A potential mate for "Shane"!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 17 May 07 - 01:01 PM

HOLY FLIP!!!!! Get this. I heard today through the flippin' grapevine that the staff in one of the Beer Stores in Sudbury are all, like, in danger of gettin' fired becoz, like, 50,0000 bottles of beer flippin' DIS-APPEARED a few nights back!!! And there werent' no flippin' clues how it was done, so they figger it had to be a inside job by the flippin' emploiyees!

HOLY FLIP!!!!!

You know what this means, eh?

It means that a bunch of flippin' aliyens really HAVE got the little bother! FLIP! It also means that they have got the 50,000 bottles of beer!!!! FLIP!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now the idiots are gonna RETURN IT??????????????????????????

You gotta flippin' be puttin' me ON! They CAN'T return it! This is the greatest flippin' beer heist in the history of Norht Ontario and them retreads are just gonna give it back? I can't flippin' beleeve this!

Somethin' has got to be done change there minds. I hope Shane fer once uses his flippin' head and comes up with some kind of a plan that WORKS!

Jeezus flip. I wish I knew how to find them alyenans. I am drivin' out tonight and am gonna look for them over toward Sudbury way.

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 17 May 07 - 12:38 PM

Good news! We have finally got Meklor back to normal. The double feedback loop and reflugation process worked. Meklor is now free of cravings for pizza, beer, and "smokes". It is wonderful to see my old comrade acting like a normal Greyan again. The Shane, on the other hand, seems not to have changed one iota. Very odd indeed.

We have tried to cheer up the Shane by taking him on a tour of various interesting sights around planet Earth. We showed him the Hawaiian Islands, some volcanoes in South America, and some interesting terrain in Antarctica. He expressed a desire to see penguins, and we obliged. He was quite excited about that. He says that he now knows more about penguins than David Suzuki does. We do not understand that reference.

We have to prepare him somehow for the no doubt upsetting news that we have decided to return all the beer...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 May 07 - 10:01 AM

I'm getting concerned, it has been almost two days with no word. Good thing we have some spare Shanes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 07 - 09:25 AM

I suspect ol' "Shane" is looking for cigarette to enjoy after his probing.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 May 07 - 09:32 AM

"'Shane's' wormhole might be very, very long and deep though."

That conjures an image, not a very pretty one when Shane is involved.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 07 - 09:28 AM

Remember, the black hole causes a wormhole. Find the end of the wormhole and you find whatever was sucked into the black hole. "Shane's" wormhole might be very, very long and deep though.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 07 - 10:13 PM

I warned you that it was a Blue Event Horizon. Now please, try reflugating!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 15 May 07 - 05:47 PM

I have recovered my normal equilibrium and cheerful nature. Never again will I imbibe that awful stuff called beer! The Shane Being has also recovered from his overindulgence, and we are giving him a stern talk about self-discipline. He needs desperately to develop some. He is being cranky and uncooperative. He wants a promise of further beer before he will enlighten us regarding the significance of "babes" in Earthly society. We have refused to grant any such promise. We appear to be at an impasse here.

Perhaps when he grows a bit hungry, he will see the error of his ways...

Meanwhile, we are going to set up a double feedback loop and see if we can restore Meklor's intelligence which was apparently drained out of him into the Shane Being during the mindmeld. It is strange that Meklor had most of his intelligence drained into the Shane, but the Shane does not appear to have gained a commensurate measure of it. Extraordinary! This would suggest that the Shane's mentality is akin to a black hole, capable of absorbing any amount of borrowed intelligence without changing its own innate lack of same. It's unprecedented.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 May 07 - 03:20 PM

I found a set of keys in my sock drawer the other day, you don't suppose...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 07 - 03:18 PM

Kinda like being given the keys to the city of Roberts, Idaho....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Buddy Whatsisname
Date: 15 May 07 - 12:26 PM

The Ultimate Canadian Dream: Having all of Blind River "bow down" to you.


LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 15 May 07 - 10:00 AM

Haw! That flippin' ingoramutt retread who says he's me has got caut by alines! Serves the bolthole rite! I'm goin' to be rich and he's goin' to have his brain sucked out, whta their is of it! They'l probbly use a reely tiny hose for suckin' it into a reelly little bottle. Haw! And I'll come back flippin' rich with gold and Blind River'll flippin' bow down to me!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 07 - 11:48 PM

Commander, taken in moderation and in good company, it can enhance camaradery and friendship. Taken in excess it does what everything taken in excess does and poisons the one who takes it. "Shane" takes it in excess; he cannot control his desire for it and would be a far better person if he could. We of the Lens have considered "Mercy Killing" him because of his lack of control, but it seems to be genetic and that would be a violation of the Prime Directive.

Should he continue as he has, however, we will be forced to place him in stasis simply to protect him from himself.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Commander Altron
Date: 14 May 07 - 11:37 PM

I follow your line of reasoning, Rapaire, and I will give it full consideration. But first we have more questions we need to ask the Shane Being when he regains coherency. Then we will address the matter of whether or not the beer should be returned, and if so, in what manner. We could perhaps make some sort of trade for it.

We are not convinced that it is not, in fact, some sort of toxic weapon. If so, we might be doing you Earthlings a real favor by disposing of it by offloading it into your sun's gravitational field.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 07 - 11:21 PM

Commander Altron, the "beer" was taken without obtaining the permission of those who possessed the beer or reimbursing them for the substance. It takes time to make, and even more time to grow the plants which are used to make it. It is not correct to usurp the work of another without reimbursing the other or at the very least asking permission to take or use it.

May I suggest that the empty bottles be placed back in the storage facility from which they were taken, and "Shane" be placed in the middle of them? He would, of course, be in his integument since his own "clothing" was destroyed for sanitary reasons and you would not want to violate the Prime Directive by leaving him dressed in Grey clothing.

Wait! Find a place called "Salvation Army." They often have a box colored at about 7000 angstrom units wherein cast-off clothing can be placed. It will not matter if "Shane" is dressed in clothing such as that in which he was found, as this planet does not differentiate between the sexes (we have two) in that way. Thus any article of clothing you might extract and which fits him would be correct.

You will want to render him unconscious before dressing him and returning him and the empty bottles.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Commander Altron
Date: 14 May 07 - 11:08 PM

This is Commander Altron, aboard Grey vessel #69705. I have been carefully studying Artixes' notes. I notice that IWTATBM had a question not answered by Artixes. It was this:

"Can you suggest ways of increasing the number of posts we need to reach our target of 85 billion?"

I must first respond to this by asking a question of my own in return. Why do you want to do that? Are you building a very long fence somewhere?

I am also wondering if the Shane creature is typical of Earthling society or if he is an anomaly? Does he resemble the leaders in your society?

Still another question. What is the approximate value of 14,226 bottles of your beverage that is called "beer"? Not in your money terms...we have no interest in that...but as a bargaining chip in an intergalactic negotiation with the ruling classes on your planet?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 14 May 07 - 09:00 PM

Oh, my aching head. What nameless stuff is IN that vile concoction called "beer"? How has the Earthling Shane survived this long if he drinks so much of it? I would have thought it was a plot on his part to kill all of us if I had not seen him drinking down his "two-four" with such obvious delight and gusto.

Unbelievable. He must be almost brain dead by now.

I am sorry to say that the Shane being also got sick, much sicker than I, because he drank so much of the beer so fast. He has regurgitated in the skyview lounge and made a very big mess there. We have put him in sick bay, along with myself and Meklor. He is a disgrace. I am beginning to wonder if euthanasia would be the kindest procedure for this Shane Being, but our code advises against it except in cases where there is no other good solution...

I will have to give it some thought.

We may have to rethink what to do with the beer. It could be held in reserve as the ultimate secret weapon in case the Arcturians ever decide to move against us...we would trick them all into drinking it and destroy their offensive capability in a single bold and clever stroke.

Meanwhile we still have to find out about the other most valuable Earth commodity, "babes". But that must wait until Shane becomes more coherent again.

Perhaps tomorrow.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 14 May 07 - 02:59 PM

Well, IWTATBM, a few ideas occur to me.

You would be wise to give up the practice of war entirely, for one. It is a useless and wasteful endeavour. In fact, it is insane. We are capable of fighting a war if required, but we have not had one in a very, very long time.

In order to prevent war, one needs to establish relative equality, unity, and justice throughout the whole society as well as friendship with neighbouring societies. This is achieved by resolving everyone's basic survival needs first of all, then ensuring that all have a good level of such things as material well being, education, entertainment, interesting and useful ways of contributing to society, that sort of thing. It takes good planning and responsible leadership to achieve that. It also takes a genuine desire that all should prosper.

Nonviolence is an essential principle in any advanced society. There can never be an excuse for practicing violence on others nor should the state be allowed to do so either.

Everyone must have the same legal protections, regardless of their station in life. The best way of eliminating immoral manipulations of the legal system by those at the top is to eliminate the stuff you call "money". This can be done, and we did it a long time ago. We do things because they are good things to do, not because they produce more money. We have no idea what anything "costs", only how useful it is. If it is very useful, then we give it top priority and allocate resources until it is accomplished. If it is not very useful, we give it little priority.

Everyone should have enough free time so that they feel happy, but enough work also so that they feel useful and needed. From this they gain a positive sense of self.

Travel to other worlds is encouraged, and open contact is to be made when and if those other worlds are ready and willing for it. Yours is almost ready for it...but not yet willing.

We do eat small amounts of food, but when doing space travel we eat a very concentrated form of food which does not tax the bodily systems too much. We also injest life force energy directly through the breath. So do you, but you don't seem to give it much recognition. Nevertheless, note that if your breath is shut off, you don't last long. Water is also essential to our existence, and this is one reason we are quite interested in your planet. You have a great deal of water here.

You also have very rugged physical systems, designed for brute survival under harsh conditions. We find that very interesting. Through genetic sharing we may be able to strengthen our own race in a number of ways.

Now I think I had best take a rest. That beverage has made me a bit queasy. It seems to be rather toxic. I think I shall lie down for a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 14 May 07 - 02:32 PM

Artixes, do you have any words of wisdom to share with the peoples of this planet? Can you suggest ways of increasing the number of posts we need to reach our target of 85 billion? Do you eat food?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 May 07 - 02:11 PM

Do you suppose, now that he is all clean and looking like a Greyan, that Officer Dana (assuming he finds her) will recognize Shane? Maybe it would be better if she didn't.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 14 May 07 - 11:55 AM

We have obtained a large amount of the "beer". It comes in many different bottles with attractive decorations on them, and it also comes in cans. It seems odd that so much effort would be spent on providing different forms of packaging for what is essentially the same thing. Why do these Earthlings do it? It's inefficient in the extreme. It would be wiser to simply make a single type of generic container for all this beer.

Shane, however....that is the subject's name: Shane...Shane has told us that there are significant differences between the different, as he puts it, "brands" of beer.

I have tasted several of them. They are all the same...absolutely dreadful! I have to admit, though, upon further tasting that there are minute differences between one brand and another, in that this one tastes even worse than that one, if you follow me.

I find that my powers of acute observation are declining with the frequency of tasting, though, so I think I had best stop.

Shane has been telling us all about the beer and how important it is. It appears to be the cultural foundation of his society. This may explain why they are still living in such a primitive and reactionary state, and why we have to take care to avoid being shot down by their paranoid air defence systems!

Fortunately, their technology is quite primitive, so there is little danger.

Shane seems to have quite a bit of experience at getting into beer containing facilities after dark. He warned us of the alarm systems. These were nullified by our electronic damping systems. We then removed and levitated a circular cutout from the roof of the building, sufficient to beam down and secure large amounts of the beer. It was child's play.

Shane says that the "cops" are going to go "nuts" trying to figure out how it was done. He seems very pleased about it. We reattached the circular cutout to the roof upon leaving and seamlessly restored its molecular integrity, so the beer we took will appear to have simply vanished into thin air.

Shane is so happy with the success of our beer acquisition that he has been almost beside himself. He wants us to repeat the operation at other beer facilities in larger centres, but we feel that we have enough now. Surely with this amount of beer we have a bargaining chip that can allow us heavy leverage in any future high-level planetary negotiations with the Earthlings?

We have reminded Shane that we promised him only 1 "two-four". A two-four turns out to be a box containing 24 bottles of beer.

He is halfway through drinking it now, and has become a bit more incoherent than he was a few hours ago. We are observing this with much interest.

He is staggering about and complimenting us on all the lovely features in our ship and our cleverness in acquiring free beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 07 - 09:25 AM

The Patrol was forced to ground a craft in Northern Ontario early this morning when it was operated in an unsafe manner. The hemocyanin-alcohol level of the operators of this craft was 12.7, considerably over the 0.06 legal limit for this body type. The Patrol is also investigating the possible relationship between this incident and the earlier theft of a local alcoholic beverage warehouse, including its contents.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 13 May 07 - 10:40 PM

We are making some progress here. First of all, we have secured some genetic material. A paltry amount, I assure you. The subject will not miss it. As for the subject, he is calming down, having accepted his situation, and we have succeeded in managing some fragmentary communication with him. The fact that the subject's vocabulary seems limited to a surprisingly small group of words and phrases has made it a bit difficult to communicate clearly, but he says he will tell us anything we want to know for a "two four of beer". Upon further questioning we have ascertained that beer is a bubbly beverage containing alcohol. This may explain the unusually large traces of alcohol that permeate this individual's cells. Really quite remarkable! We have seen this before, but usually not to such an extent as this time. As I say, remarkable!

The subject has been reclothed in a silver space suit, and he looks almost Greyan. Well, I exaggerate! He looks vaguely Greyan. I was being humorous.

He says that we can obtain a large amount of beer from a certain building if we will just go there late at night and get in somehow when the people are not around. That should not be difficult. He says that if we fly down over Sudbury, he will show us where the building is. We will use stealth mode. It should be "a piece of cake", he says, and I would tend to agree.

He says that the two most valuable things on this planet are beer and "babes". We will have to question him further on the "babes" matter. He may be referring to infant humans. If so, it is admirable that he has such a strong loyalty to the future of his own race, encapsulated, as it were, in its chidren.

Perhaps he is not as degenerate as he appears on first acquaintance.

Considering that this beer beverage is as valuable as he says, we intend to take away as large an amount of it as we can safely get in the cargo areas of the ship. When told of this, he seemed VERY impressed indeed. He says we are "flippin' A-Okay". I think that means "very good".

We will make our move around 3 AM, local Terran time. He says that is the best time to do it. This should really be quite interesting. I look forward to it with considerable anticipation.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 07 - 07:00 PM

Heck, LH, us folks in Idaho been doing all them things and lots more for years and years. I guess you guys are just catchin' up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 07 - 02:27 PM

SuperHoser. Able to chug an entire two-four in 10 seconds. Able to jump tall curbs with his 4 x 4 and avoid arrest for drivin' under the affluence of incohol. Able to pick up whole busloads of great lookin' chicks just by winkin' his eye....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 May 07 - 01:15 PM

Is it a bird?



Is it a plane?


No, it's ........



SuperShane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 07 - 09:33 AM

Yes, and vice-versa.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 May 07 - 07:51 AM

Hey Artixes, this thread is not limited to earthlings only. Please recommend us to any other alien species you may encounter. Perhaps every alien race has a Shane of their own? Perhaps our Shane will return to us with alien super powers. Things have changed dramatically - I am now confident we will reach 85 billion by the end of the year. No point in quiting this thread now when the end is so near.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 07 - 09:46 PM

Oh, drat it, Artixes! Mulian the Serbetes sort of promised that you'd keep him for an example of genetic material gone awry.

Well, I can certainly understand why you don't want to do so.

Try refugating the Meklor mind meld. I think you've run into a simple case of "mental blue event horizon" and refugating should restore 99.999% of Meklor's mind. Whatever's left will be far more than the probee had before.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 12 May 07 - 07:53 PM

ring this number Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 12 May 07 - 02:52 PM

We have the Earthling more or less clean now, after applying massive amounts of Agent 53. His vestments have been thrown into the disintegrator beam, as they were deemed beyond cleansing. We will supply him with new vestments shortly out of our own supplies. He will look very much better in a close-fitting silver body suit and boots and gloves. His strugglings and frenzied vocalizations have been quite something to witness, and we have made holographic recordings of it all for future analysis.

Meklor is under sedation while we try to determine how to restore him to his normal mental faculties. The last thing he did was to beg for "pizza", whatever that is...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 12 May 07 - 10:33 AM

Not so fast, Lens Child! We have no intention of keeping this disgusting creature. Once the tests are completed and Meklor's mind is restored, back he goes to planet Terra.

We shall clean and sterilize his filthy body by fully immersing it in a strong solution of Agent 53. That should do the trick. Agent 53 can clean up anything.

Meklor is now demanding "beer and smokes". No one here has any idea what to do or what that means. This is very, very bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 07 - 10:25 AM

As one of the Children of the Lens, I can tell you that our decision is that you can have him. You might consider an external cleansing with an appropriate agent and dihydrogen oxide; it will improve his odor. Remove (and destroy in a biologically safe manner) his outer integuments first: they are removable and not part of his body. You will know what should not be removed if a liquid containing, among other things, hemoglobin (an oxygen-binding iron-based chemical) seeps or squirts out.

Oh, yes. If, when you are through with him, you feel that you must return him, please give him some sort of removable outer integument. A complete display of non-removable body covering is considered inappropriate on this world. Unless, of course, life is extinct when he is returned.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 12 May 07 - 10:15 AM

Dear me. The mind meld did not go well. Meklor has been reduced almost to a state of nervous collapse, as it appears that most of his mind got sucked out of him in the uneven exchange that occurred! This has never happened before. He keeps mumbling incomprehensible gibberish, twitching, and repeating the phrase "Flip ME!"

It appears that the almost total lack of intelligence in this Earthling acted as a vacuum and it instantly drained most of Meklor's intelligence, reducing him to a babbling wreck. This is not good.

We must attempt to recover whatever of Meklor's awareness that has been sucked into the black hole of this creature's brainless existence.

I shall ready the nasal and anal probes...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 11 May 07 - 10:01 PM

Stardate 535, Terran Planetary Quadrant, North Ontarian sector of North American Continent:

We have nabbed a very choice specimen of Earthling. He has shaggy facial hair and is noticeably unclean. When first siezed by the transporter beam he let forth with an extraordinary series of auditory utterances, indicating his panic and distress. We have succeeded in sedating him with the paralyzer beam. He is sweating profusely. My goodness, what a dreadful odor! Well, one is forced to get closer than one would want to these unpalatable alien beings in one's quest for scientific knowledge.

Meklor is going to do a mind meld with the being and see if we can discover what makes him tick, if I may use an expression.

We have now ascended to a point approximately halfway between Terra and its moon, so that we may proceed in peace and fully examine this primitive lifeform at our leisure.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 07 - 06:25 PM

At least a few, maybe several.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 May 07 - 06:22 PM

I'm confused again about how many Shanes there are. Any help?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,The Unseen Presence...
Date: 10 May 07 - 10:09 PM

Shane McBride, otherwise known as Blind DRunk from Blind River, is making his sorry way down the highway toward the woman of his dreams. He is somewhere south of Sudbury. It is damp and rather cold tonight. The sky has cleared.

Shane is feeling a bit sorry for himself, because he has not been able to hitch a ride in the last 4 hours.

"Buncha flippin' bums!" he complains. "See if I ever give youse jerks a ride when you need one! Flip! I would give a flippin' beer if someone, anyone would just give me a ride right now. Flip!"

Suddenly Shane becomes aware that there has been an odd vibration in his ears for the last couple of minutes. He looks around nervously. Nothing in sight. The wind sighs through the scraggly trees and brush beside the road. Shane begins to think worrisome thoughts about things he has seen in cheap horror movies. Could there be a flippin' Sasquatch out there in the darkness? Or a flippin' werewolf?

He trudges on. The moonlight has become surprisingly strong, and for the first time Shane realizes that it is tinged with shades of red and deep amber! Very flippin' strange.

"Geez! Must be a flippin' Harvester Moon or somethin'...Hey! There is the moon's shadow, and it's movin'..."

Shane freezes in a moment of sheer horror, turns around, looks up....

Only to see hovering above him an enormous shining orb, glowing with a soft amber-red light that pulsates at regular intervals. A portal is opening in the bottom of the orb, and the humming sound is now filling Shane's ears and vibrating right to the tips of his fingers and toes...

"Omigod!!! FLIP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yells Shane. He bolts for the forest. A beam of golden light shoots out silently from the orb, lifting Shane clear of the ground, despite his desperate struggles. Screaming and cursing and blubbering, Shane is draw remorselessly up through the air into the belly of what is clearly some alien craft.

What will be the dreadful fate that befalls him there?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 10 May 07 - 09:52 PM

Stardate 534, Terran Planetary Quadrant, North Ontarian sector of North American Continent:

It is a lovely Terran night. We are presently monitoring a stretch of road alongside a wooded area, of which there are a great many here. Millions and millions and millions of rocks and trees. You have to see it to fully appreciate it.

There is an Earthling humanoid stumbling down this road. He is going on the side so as to avoid the big vehicles that pass by. Every time one does, he sticks one of his digits in the air at it. This may be a formality of some kind, but I'm not sure.

This Earthling should do. I shall ready the teleportation equipment and charge up the probes...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 07 - 09:08 PM

Fear not, for I, one of the Children of the Lens, will save you! I fear neither thionite nor the denizens of Eddore, and Northern, Southern and Central Ontario will be safe for I am on the job!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 10 May 07 - 04:28 PM

Hey, Mr. Spaceman
Won't you please take me along
I won't do anything wrong
Hey, Mr. Spaceman
Won't you please take me along for a ride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Artixes the Grey
Date: 10 May 07 - 04:18 PM

Stardate 534, Terran Planetary Quadrant, North Ontarian sector of North American Continent:

We are looking about as usual for Earthlings with good genetic material. We will do a sweep tonight in the general area that lies south of the large Earthling city called Sudbury. The Earthlings in this area are mostly quite primitive, bestial, easily frightened and bucolic in nature, and don't believe in us. This makes them pretty easy to handle most of the time, and genetically speaking they are of rather hardy stock, although sometimes they have a dangerously high alcohol content for some reason. We must look further into how this is occurring. Perhaps we can use the information gleaned to further health studies on the home planets.

The Commander has informed me to ready the inspection labs for a new specimen or two. This should be interesting. I wonder which gender of specimens we will aprehend this time? They all look fairly ugly to me, but perhaps not to each other. We hope to get a couple of them to mate this time. It would be most interesting to secure a holographic recording of this rare Earthling procedure.

We await sunset and cover of darkness. There is no point arousing too much unnecessary attention from these primitive humanoids and their noisy aircraft.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 07 - 02:47 PM

Well, he'd certainly know....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 10 May 07 - 01:07 PM

Being told by Shane that you have no life. Ouch.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 07 - 09:24 AM

"He"'s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Just when you thought it safe to return to the pub....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 09 May 07 - 07:11 PM

The girls are out to bingo, and the boys are gettin stinko,
They think no more of INCO on a Sudbury Saturday Night,
Stompin Tom Connors

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 09 May 07 - 04:33 PM

Youse people are a flippin' sad case! All of youse. You people got no life. That is your rpblem, eh? If youse had a life...like I do...then youse would not say all the dumb stuff you do. I flippin' pity the hole bunch of you. I do.

I am well on the way to findin' Officer Dana and makin' my perposal to her. I am now in this little place south of Sudbury, and I got a chance to get on a flippin' computer here, eh? I ain't got much time. All's I will say is that when I do find Officer Dana I am gonna put my flippin' cards on the table. Yup. Destiny is mine this time. Beleive it, loosers!

This is Shane...signin' off.

- Shane

p.d. The flippin' BOLTHOLE who says that he is named Shane McBRide and that he is a mountie don't scare me!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 09 May 07 - 03:22 PM

You are going to have to be more specific.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 07 - 03:05 PM

"Shane" wouldn't have any idea of what you are talking about.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 May 07 - 02:11 PM

LOL! (snort!)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 09 May 07 - 01:58 PM

Think of though Northern Shane (who is no longer in Mayo), if you were a Mountie then you and Officer Dana could slap the cuffs on each other. OK, now spread 'em!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 09 May 07 - 09:25 AM

How the flip would I knwo? Besides, I ain't in flippin' Mayo anymore. And I don't think I'm a flippin' Mountie.

-- Shane McBride (not in Mayo anymore)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 09 May 07 - 06:13 AM

Officer McBride,

Someone once told me that you can't serve in the RCMP and be in the Canadian military at the same time (i.e. reserves). Is it true?
Just wondering.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 May 07 - 11:07 PM

Holy flip! A flippin' MOUNTIE is me? I mean, I'm a MOUNTIE? Or maybe the flippin' blothole enposder is a montie and is tryin' to trap me into syain' sumthing so I cna be arrested and detaned. Well, I'm not in Mayo anymroe. Nope. You couldn't find me in flippin' Moya if you looked under every rock around. So just tell that flippin' Muountie that I'm not here, ok? Maybe he can find that flippin' endposter who says he's me and arest him.

-- Shane McBride (not in Mayo)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 08 May 07 - 07:28 PM

The two Shanes we learn to love are actually idiots?
News to me. (Not that there's anything wrong with that).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 May 07 - 09:48 AM

Holy Flip! Talk about your unforseen turn of events.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 07 - 02:08 AM

By the way, it would give Shane a terrible shock to know that there is an RCMP officer out there who has the same name as he does! Shane usually doesn't relate well to the forces of the law (except for the aforementioned Officer Jennifer Dana of the OPP).

Anyway, I bet you don't have the same middle name as our Shane from Blind River.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 07 - 02:03 AM

Oh, take it easy, Mr McBride. This has absolutely nothing to do with you or your family. It's a little Mudcat fantasy, that's all. There are probably quite a number of people alive right now in this world who are named Shane McBride. So what? "Shane" and "McBride" are both rather common names in an English-speaking culture. It's not easy to come up with a name that absolutely no one out there has...unless you invent some weird alien name like Zbarylla Norflewinz Glarpqueezer.

(...and now some smart aleck will no doubt post here, protesting that HIS...or her...name is Zbarylla Norflewinz Glarpqueezer, and he or she has been insulted! Well if so...too flippin' BAD!)

Or as Shane would say..."Flip off, you retread!"

How did you find the flippin' thread anyway? Were you looking at random to see if your name and fame had spread all across the Internet? I bet if you do a search for "John Morgan" or "Tom Stark" or "Mary Wilkins", you'll find all of them out there too...and I just made those three up on the spot.

You're right about one thing though. Those two guys on this thread who say they are Shane McBride are idiots. No doubt whatsoever about that.

Look, if you don't have a brother named Don who works at a service station in Blind River, Ontario, and you aren't in love with a female O.P.P. officer called Jennifer Dana, and you weren't born and bred (sort of) in Blind River, and you haven't been arrested 185 times for minor infractions of the law (plus a few not so minor ones), and you can't roll joints faster than Spiderman can climb an average sized skyscraper....then it's pretty clear that you are not the Shane McBride who appears again and again in this thread and others of its ilk on this forum. And you're not the other one who appears here either. You are neither of those guys. But you knew that, right? ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Shane McBride
Date: 07 May 07 - 09:53 PM

I have just found this thread and I want to say that whoever these jerks are who claim to be Shane McBride are pretty obviously idiots.

I am Shane McBride. I was born in Kamloops, BC on August 15, 1977 and served in the Defence Forces (Princess Patricia's). I am also a Sergeant in the Royal Canadian Mounted Police; currently stationed in North Battleford, SK.

My wife, Jennifer, and I have twin daughters and we're expecting our third child this coming September.

I do not suggest that these two fools continue disgracing the name Shane McBride.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 May 07 - 04:51 PM

One Shane
Two Shane

Red Shane
Blue Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 07 May 07 - 04:35 PM

Any projection for next total eclipse of the Shanes?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 May 07 - 02:42 PM

Southern Shane was in Sudbury the other day, did he get turned around when he got chased out of the library? Maybe it was Northern Shane in Kenora (kind of makes more sense for him to be in a church anyway, what with the whole monastery thing). Perhaps the Meeting of the Shane's is drawing near.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 07 - 12:47 PM

I have it on EXCELLENT authority that "Shane McBride" was seen yesterday attending Mass at Notre Dame du Portage Catholic Church in Kenora, Ontario.

Granted, the boy might be lost....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 May 07 - 11:26 AM

I'll take one please.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 07 - 09:28 AM

Quick, Henry! The Flit!             -- Dr. Seuss.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 May 07 - 02:16 PM

We're all on life support.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Alice
Date: 06 May 07 - 11:45 AM

Is this thread on life support?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 07 - 02:39 PM

So, they call it "wooing" when you're doing it in the back of the car these days, huh?

That ain't what we called it, way back when. But the "-ing" part was the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,the unseen presence...
Date: 04 May 07 - 10:56 PM

With the aid of his "personal charm" Shane ends up finding a nice warm place to sleep: a pile of rubbish behind the cement factory, near the exhaust fan.

Our hero is due to spend a fitful night tossing and turning as he dreams of rolling extra big joints, drinking from beer bottles that never run dry, and wooing the lovely officer Jennifer Dana in the back of her police cruiser...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 07 - 08:46 PM

I had to look. The red domino-like thing are the tennis courts behind the Universalist-Unitarian Church.

Portneuf is pronounced "portneff" out here, although some people do say "port-nuff", but they're just showing off their French.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 04 May 07 - 07:50 PM

The red flippin' domino thing is probablly one of them cat houses that they have all over flippin' Idaho...the only flippin' state named after a flippin' ho! She was the guid3e fer Gary Lewis and Guy Clark when they was explorin' out that way. She had the roundest flippin' heels west of the flippin' Atlantic. That's Idaho for ya.

I flippin' near got arrested at the liberry this mornin', but I got away too quick for 'em. I am now at a flippin' Internet cafe, eh? I am just about to hit the road south. The weather is not bad, but a bit flippin' cold, eh? I will try and find a warm spot fer the night with, like, my persenal charm, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 May 07 - 05:37 PM

What's the red domino shaped thing to the north west?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 May 07 - 05:16 PM

Hey, Rapaire, I see that tomorrow is your 4th anniversary as director of the Marshall Public Library. Congrats.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 May 07 - 05:11 PM

How is Portneuf pronounced in Idaho?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 04 May 07 - 05:09 PM

It's not that the two Shanes look alike. The other Shane has three peacocks tattooed on his left buddock, a noticible knife scar above his right eye, two missing half fingers on either hand, and a missing front tooth among his distinguishing features.

The other Shane says he has sympathy for his namesake, but says it's not his fault that the cops are not "onto it". He says he has been locked up for a few of the things he has done, and that is clear proof that he is taking responsibility for his actions.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 07 - 05:01 PM

New Gate.

It was a stage robbery in the Portneuf Gap in 1865 that started vigilanteism in Idaho.

Yee-HA! Them was the days!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 May 07 - 04:57 PM

1800

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 May 07 - 04:57 PM

I only ask so I can get to...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 May 07 - 04:56 PM

What does Portneuf mean?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 May 07 - 04:56 PM

Ah, I see. It's the Portneuf River.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 May 07 - 04:35 PM

That looks like quite the train yard a few blocks over. What river (or is it more of a creek?) is that to the west?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 07 - 04:11 PM

113 So. Garfield Avenue, Pocatello, Idaho

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 May 07 - 03:48 PM

Hey, I found Blind River on Google Earth. I couldn't see Shane so it seems he really has left there in search of love.

Now, who shall I spy on next? HA HA HA!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 May 07 - 03:35 PM

"Gosh, where have I heard someone say that before?"

I really did LOL on that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Shawna from Blind River
Date: 04 May 07 - 03:20 PM

"even Shane ought to know better than that"

LOL! Gosh, where have I heard someone say that before? I just keeps on happening for some reason.... Me and my friends got the great candid photos of Shane peeing on the back wall of the donut shop with Susie's digital camera! It is because of us that the idiot got arrested. Ha! Ha! We have given out lots of copies of the photos so people can laugh at Shane like we do. He is such a loser.

His brother Don is kind of cute though...and he's got a pickup truck. I would go out with Don if he asked me, even if he is getting a little old for me.

Shane has left town. He is looking for his "true love", the lady cop. Ha! Ha! Ha! Omigod I am laughing so hard here that it hurts. I want to see what happens when he finds her. Will he get down on his knees and propose? I wish we could be there to take pictures if he does. Omigod.

Yes, KB, Tim Hortons is THE Canadian donut shop, and I work there part time. There is a Tim Hortons in any town that is really what you could call a town at all. It is a fact of life here. We have one Tim Hortons in Blind River, but there are lots of them in Sudbury.

I will be surprised if Shane ever makes it to Huntsville. I bet he stays in Sudbury and ends up getting arrested.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 May 07 - 02:50 PM

So our Northern Shane intends to work a gold mine 'this winter'? Since it is early May I can only conclude that there will be no meeting of the Shanes any time soon. Every time I get to thinking the big dust up is drawing near something like this happens. That doesn't even take into account the fact that Southern Shane is in Sudbury (guess he made it past McKerrow) on his way to Huntsville (until quite recently I was picturing Officer Dana in Alabama).

And another thing, when Southern Shane was telling us about his trouble with the law regarding his lack of discretion behind Tim Horton's I had pictured him out behind a bar. After looking into things a bit it now seems that Tim Horton's is a donut shop. Somehow pissing on the back wall of a donut shop just doesn't have the same panache. Plus, if you don't want the cops to see you taking a leak in public don't pee on a donut shop. Geez, even Shane ought to know better than that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 07 - 09:06 AM

"Shane" is genetic. The peristalsis of his peculiar gene pool.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: AWG
Date: 04 May 07 - 08:51 AM

Who the hell would ever want to live in Blind River ?? I mean, look what it did to Shane. Yikes. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 07 - 08:45 AM

Ah, "Shane," take it from one who KNOWS, man: libraries have intrusion alarms and smoke detectors and these will bring cops and firefighters really fast. And if this one doesn't have them I suggest you get out BEFORE the staff arrives, because if they find out you've been eating the stuff in the Staff Room they'll fling whatever will be left of your broken, bleeding body into the toilet and flush it away.

Believe this. Nothing annoys a library staff more than somebody eating their stuff uninvited, except maybe people smoking in the library. And if you think they ain't tough, think two or three times more, even if it hurts. Because if they catch you, you WILL hurt. I promise you.

The last time I heard of the staff catching someone in a library it was up in Manitoba. When they had finished making him listen to a recorded book of Danielle Steel they...they pumped a gallon (3+ liters) of library paste up his, well, his you-know-what and then fed him some laxative and threw him out into the street.

Bits and pieces of the guy found all over central Manitoba.

The cops just smiled and had another cup of library coffee and a donut from Tim's.

Believe me, man.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 03 May 07 - 11:20 PM

It makes me flippin' sad to think that sume delusatory fliphead who thinks he is ME is way the hell up in flippin' Alaska thinkin' that he is gonna mind gold and then flippin' come to Blind River and just, like, pretend he is ME? Holy flip. What a retread this idiot must be! What a flippin' looser!

It makes me sick to know that idiots like that are, like, out there and are still aloud to run arownd and make a flippin' nyusiance of themself, eh?

Pa-flippin'-THET-ic is what that is, eh?

Well, I am in the big city now, eh? Subury. I been in Sudbury plenty of times and I am, like, almost a seelebritty here becoz I got arrestted here on a few ocncasions. Like the time me and Don stole the school bus and then robbed the likker store, eh?

Anyways, I am campin' out at a liberry here. I am smart, eh? You know why? Becoz what I did was I hid out behind the bookshelfs until all the flippin' staff had left. Now I got the place all to myself. I got a nice couch to sleep on here, lotsa water fountains, and there is food and coffee in the flippin' staff room! HA! HA! HA! I am livin' high here. I will have a nice time and sneak out in the mornin' after they open the place up again. Boy, am I smart. I definately got the brains in the McBride fambly, no flippin' questtion about that, eh?

No one seen me. I got this hole place to myself. Right now I am sittin' behind a BIG flippin' desk and smokin' a cigar. Ha! Ha! I found them in a drawer. YOU ain't apposed to flippin' smoke in here but who is gonna stop me? Who? No-flippin'-buddy! I am home free.

This is cool. I might stay a couple more days. Then it is on to Huntsville and the woman of my dreams.

- Shane McBride, the one and only, the man with the plan!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 03 May 07 - 11:19 PM

Thar's gold in them there hills, he said.

What's it washed with arsenic?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 07 - 10:01 PM

Methinks the boy knoweth not what he hath gottenth himself into....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 03 May 07 - 09:13 PM

I got me a flippin' DEAL!! I'm gonna be flippin' RICH, man! See, I was in this bar drinkin' cheapo beer, which ain't cheep up hear, and got to tlaking with this guy. And he owns a flippin' GOLD MINE! So he tels me that he's got to go to Ottawa this coming Winter becuz his mother is therea nd nedes an operashun and if I'd work his gold mine for him this Winter he'd give me haf of the gold I minged. So I said, "How hard is it? and he said that the gold is in sand that I have to shofel so it can be washed. Washin' flippin' sand! and then you look at these things across the washing thing and just pick the gold rite out!

Flippin' EASY! So I said ok and he said he'd give me a hnudret dollers for a retenter and I signed a paper that I'd work for him.

So I'm gonna be flippin' RICH and Don is gonna just SHIT when I driv up in a new car and all the skanks will be all over me but I'm gonna hold out for Officer Dana. Flippin' RICH!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,carl
Date: 03 May 07 - 06:19 PM

"My heart goes out for Shane, not my Shane...the other Shane, Shane's mother said in frustration".

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 07 - 06:08 PM

You put an "m" in "critical mass."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 May 07 - 02:57 AM

That is so true. Very perceptive. If the 2 Shanes ever meet it may trigger a "critical mass" situation that will bring an end to life as we know it...perhaps even to this entire universe we are living in.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 02 May 07 - 10:51 PM

The only person who can outdo Shane is Shane. i

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 07 - 08:40 PM

"Shane" was in Africa, or at least in Madagascar, when he was known as Brother Crispin Fiacre and in the Trappists.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 02 May 07 - 07:28 PM

Kind of sounds like some type of code.

Does anyone know how to interpret code?

Could Shane be hiding out in Africa?

Maybe I am wrong or off base, but I'm leaning towards going with my gut on this one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 02 May 07 - 07:19 PM

http://www.georgetown.edu/faculty/ballc/animals/

Am I wrong, Does the Zebra on this web site sound a bit like Shane.

Could he be giving us a sign/message?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 May 07 - 10:17 AM

Perhaps that is just as well. As interested as I am in plumbing the depths of Shane's vision, it may be akin to staring at the sun.

At first reading I thought that the "Kama Sutra" you mention might actually be Shane's work but, after reflecting, it seems unlikely. If a copy with everything but the naughty bits blacked out were to surface, that might lend itself to an alternate interpretation.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 07 - 09:45 AM

These books are gathered and burned by a group called People Demonstrating A Love Of Literature And Good Taste (PDALOLAGT). Three copies (one autographed!) escaped: one is in the Extremely Controlled Room at the Library of Congress and is kept in a locked and armored box inside a heavy safe (which is welded shut) inside a vault inside a solid 2,000 kg. cube of concrete; the autographed copy is in the Secret and Condemned Archives of the Vatican Library, and it will be burned when the air pollution laws permit; and the last remaining copy is in the Rare Book Collection at the Miskatonic University Library.

From time to time books show up on the market purporting to be copies of these works but they are found to be something else: the US Budget, "Dick and Jane Visit Grandmother", and, most lately, an unillustrated copy of the "Kama Sutra" with all the naughty bits blacked out.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 May 07 - 09:34 AM

I think I am beginning to understand our current "Shane" situation. Could we really expect such an expansive personality to be contained in a single vessel (mentally if not physically). As for me, I am heading to the library.

Rapaire, with your vast resources perhaps you could see about obtaining copies of these most fascinating sounding volumes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:38 PM

Nice piece of imaginative writing. ;-) You helped make my day a little more surreal.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 01 May 07 - 09:01 PM

:)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 May 07 - 08:44 PM

Good lord.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 01 May 07 - 07:59 PM

Shane, the missing years


In 87 Shane was a remarkable man, already: the author of three books, and a bachelor. He was intense and serious, and had trained himself to live with the minimum of sleep. He wanted the world to benefit from his knowledge.

Because he had befriended influencial European socialites, Shane had rapidly established a spectacular writing career: He traveled through the entire western part of Europe.

The only time he took from his writing and search for knowledge was for his over-indulgence in bath. By bath I mean his actual immersion. After he had been out in the sun and had taken a bath, he enjoyed being rubbed down and dried while he had a book read to him or dictated notes. He exprressed sympathy for those who did not to devote time to intense bath pursuits.

When traveling he seemed free from other responsibilities and gave every minute to writing. He kept a secretary at his side with book and notebook. She saw that in winter his hands were protected with cream and long sleeves, so that the bitter dry weather did not rob him of a single working hour. He wore a veil to avoid any illness. For the same reason, he preferred to be carried through his rented villa in a roman chair. He often scolded others for walking; according to him they should not waste time, for any time wasted would not be devoted to work. His writing that had begun in a spirit of inquiry, later became a humanitarian mission. When considering Shane's maniacal working habits, one starts to understand why he remained unmarried

Shane admitted that his first three books were not "independent or inspired" works. The writings were a haphazard collection of incidents and suggestions, that were quickly forgotten by most. His novelty style of writing of was seen as "strange" by many critics. One can only assume that his problems with grammar contributed to a shortened writing career.

Shortly after his return to America, Shane released his fourth book, an illustrated guide to horseback lawn dart throwing. It is thought that he had acquired and honed this skill in the somewhat shady Italian rural sub culture. So impressive were his illustrated techniques that they could be carried out in total darkness. It was intended for a small, but growing, sport market.

After publishing this fourth, and somewhat unsuccessful, book, Shane began to reflect, "is this a field where a serious writer can command respect"? He was then twenty one years old, good looking and well travelled.
He now faced up to the reality, while considering himself a reliable writer, he must begin to search for a new career. As with his writings, deflation befell his small investment portfolio, earlier established by his late grand mother.

Most saw that Shane was not thetype of man to cope with a sudden career choice. Regardless, he preferred to go it alone. With his frustration came disturbing dreams he encountered in youth. He frequently awoke to see a shady Italian figure standing over him. From this omen, perhaps, only Shane understood that success was not on the horizon.

After exhausting a number of career choices, Shane saw writing as his only course. He attempted to secure funds for yet one more book. He proposed to reluctant publishers a book on medical uses of oysters, parakeets, Italian trees, and the walnut, the physiological effects of wine, embroidery and dyeing woolen cloth, the secrets of good farming, (including a section on flax, and medical remedies from elephant and lion milk). He never really recovered from the total rejection he experienced from publishers and financers.

He began to dwell on what he saw as the signs of impending death and the decay of morality. He ordered his staff to ensure that a fast boat was always made ready at dockside. It seems that he developed a phobia of dying during a water evacuation. As he became asthmatic, he constantly feared being overcome by noxious sulphurous fumes.

While disgracing himself as a writer, he eventually came around and devoted the rest of his life to more successful exploits.

"A fortunate man, is one who has the power to do something that is worth recording, or to write what is worth reading". Shane is possibly one of these men.

From, Shane, thew missing years...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 May 07 - 05:55 PM

Anyone seen 'No Shanes' McBride?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 04:06 PM

That really gets the tears welling up.

I am a bit concerned, neither "Shane" has checked in since Saturday. I do hope there haven't been any issues.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Carl
Date: 01 May 07 - 02:56 PM

A poem attributed to Shane.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I like corn flakes
Can you skate.

Does it pas the Shane test?

More of Shanes unknown exploits to follow.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 01:51 PM

Spot the Duck!

He wasn't there at first, I had to hit "Click to refresh"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 01 May 07 - 01:44 PM

Give them the red carpet treatment

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 01:24 PM

When I linked to it before there was water in the foreground. It looked like a much more inviting place then, somewhere that a duck could be a duck. It looks like a prison now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 May 07 - 01:04 PM

I see a duck on duck cam. However it looks penned in so perhaps this is not a rare sighting.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 12:43 PM

I think it's time to bring back the duck cam.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 01 May 07 - 12:27 PM

but a new star is born
- it's all "reality TV" now K.B.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 12:07 PM

The melodious sound of the duck call has, sadly, fallen out of favor with the general population of classical music lovers. How sad it is to see the once proud purveyors of those time honored tunes reduced to traveling the back roads in search of a paying gig in a seedy flop house. Oh how I long for the days of yore when duck call bands could be heard in the best venues in the land on any given evening. I fear those days are gone forever.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 01 May 07 - 11:52 AM

in later life poor Polly was reduced to the life of an itinerant muscian

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:32 AM

Probably the most prized possession in my musical library is a scratchy 78 of Sweet Polly and the Purebreds performing Mendelssohn's Rondo capriccioso, for duck call in E major, Op. 14. It is truly sublime.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 May 07 - 10:24 AM

It's even more limited if you play the moose call.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 07 - 09:42 AM

Yeah, she's a real bitch underneath it all. She's the one who sold Pearl into White Slavery, from which (of course) Pearl escaped before she suffered A Fate Worse Than Death only to fall into the hands of The Deranged Crazies, a heavy-metal rock band who forced her to perform without hearing protection and thereby threatened to deafen her shell-like ears until the stage collapsed during a concert and she was able to throw off the shackles of rock-n-roll and once again embrace her true musical calling, the little-known saxophone concertoes of Johann Sebastian Bach (which she studied and perfected at the prestigious music school at the University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople). Which is why Polly has always been insanely jealous of Pearl, since Polly only plays the duck call and the orchestral music for that is quite limited.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:20 PM

Damn, it was 17:18 Mudcat time.

I always thought that under Sweet Polly's demure exterior burned a seething passion. She was pretty hot for a cartoon dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:18 PM

17:17 Mudcat time!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:18 PM

Polly Purebred is Pearl Pureheart's libidinous second cousin twice removed on her Uncle Manley Oakes side.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 05:17 PM

It's 16:16 where I am. Damn, now it's 16:17.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 03:40 PM

It's 20:40 where I am.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:50 PM

Now see, that is where this whole global community thing gets dicey. It was 10:37 in my neck of the woods when I said in my post that the 10:43 was coming. The time stamp on my post is for 11:37 which makes me either a liar or a fool (or the possesser of the best set of ears this side of the pecos). Will Sweet Polly Purebred be the worse for this digital divide?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:41 PM

"Shane" is a bit geographically challenged....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 11:37 AM

1. I think he will get out of Massey but will he make it as far as McKerrow?

2. Seems a fellow would notice that he was going through the mountains on the way to Mayo. Near as I can tell there aren't a whole lot of mountains between Boothia and Blind River. Driving into the sunset might have been a tipoff as well.

3. If he can get her untied and off the tracks before the 10:43 rolls into town. I can hear the whistle already.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 04:54 PM

This is getting interesting.

1. Will "Shane" ever get out of Massey and continue down The Road To Love?
2. Will "Shane" ever get out of Mayo and continue down The Long Road Home?
3. Will Pearl Pureheart be rescued by Sgt. Preston from A Fate Worse Than Death, even though Yukon King is ill from tainted salmon?

Cast YOUR vote for 1, 2 or 3....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 01:40 PM

This is me, eh? I am in the liberry in Massey. I see that the tfipplin' im;oposter is in some libeery in a place clalled Mayo. I hope he flippin' dies there too. I looked up Mayo on, like, Mapqwest, eh?   It is in the flippin' Yukon! Not only that...it is so far flippin' outta the way of anythin' else that you could flppin' drop an A-bom on the place and I seeriously dowt that anyone would flippin' notise or even care!

Flip me. Sounds like exacrtly the place where a flippin' imposter shoud be, eh?

I hope he gets ate by a flippin' kodeeak bear.

Anyways, the trip to Huntsville ain't goin' so well. I guess maybe I am not wearin' the right clothes becoz I don't seem to get to many rides bein' offered when I'm hichin' at teh side of the road. Maybe it is the FREE SEX T-shirt that they do not like?

I will hafta see if I can score some other clothes. There is a Sally Ann place arownd here with a drop box. Sounds like the place to go. I will hit the drop box when no one is lookin' and get a whole new outfit, eh? Flippin' decent.

Die, im;pstoer, die!

Yers,

Shane McBride (the real one.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 11:41 AM

So this flippin' trunk driver says I'll take you soth! and I'm like, "OK" figerin this is my chance to get back to Blind River and hmeo. So he drops me off in front of a flippin' Tim HOrtons in flippin' MAYO! I an't never herd of flippin' Mayo! And he drives away laffin'!. Well lemme tell ya thisx ain 't flippin' funny! I go into Tim's to get a coffee and donut and the neks think I know a flippin' MMOUNTIE is tellin' me I gotta get a job! A JOB!

So I'm up here livin' in a flippin' SHAK in back of some guys house and I got to chop wood BY FLIPOPIN' HAND just for a place to sleep and food! No beer! And the cop says that if I get out of line just once he'll put me in flippin JAIL! I am tpying this inn the pubic libery so if you can jplease tell Don so send me some flippin' moneyso I can get home! Tell him that the money he missing last Agust is behind the fake bazongas on my wall and to send it rite away or I'm going to be ate by mosskeeters here.

I ain't even gong to worry about the inposter untli I get back to Blind River.

- THE One and only Shane McBride

PS plese tell Don to send money fast.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,the unseen presence...
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 05:23 PM

Footsore and weary, Shane stumbles into the wretched little place called Massey that sits astride the TransCanada Highway, east of Blind River. Which is worse, Massey or Blind River? No one is really sure. Shane has had many misadventures in Massey over the years...minor scrapes with women, homeowners, and the law. He hopes that none of these will return to haunt him now. Dipping into his extremely meager supply of cash, he purchases a "soup deal" at Tim Horton's. Soup, a donut, and a coffee. He ponders his future glumly. So far the trip is not proceeding as well as he had hoped. It may take longer to reach Huntsville than he had bargained for. Rides seem to be few and far between.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 08:32 AM

No, hell is waiting in line. You're always at the end of the line, and it's a long one, no matter how much it moves. And you can't step out of line to go to the bathroom.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,the unseen presence...
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 01:37 AM

Having failed to make it to the next town, Shane camps out in an old barn shortly after sunset. He is cold, hungry, miserable...and worst of all, he is sober! A hellish experience.

His companions are a number of mice and a very wary barn cat who is hunting the mice. Shane burrows his way into a pile of hay and finally manages to fall asleep. He is awoken some time later by the doleful howling of two cats...two cats who appear to be having a disagreement about something. The howling gets louder and louder. Shane has straw dust in his nose and eyes. He wonders if he is hallucinating? If so, why could he not hallucinate a more entertaining scene, he wonders...like the stripper's dressing room at the Atherley Arms? The cats sound like they are just about ready to get serious and launch into round 1. They're working themselves up to a level of total ferocity and kamikaze-level destruction. The anticipation of when it may actually happen is like listening to nails scratching on a blackboard.

This could be what hell is like, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 01:19 AM

You can hardly go anywhere in Ontario without going past a Tim Horton's.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 09:11 PM

I wonder if he'll make it past Tim Horton's.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 04:21 PM

I wonder if he'll make it as far as McKerrow.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 03:59 PM

I see a movie about this.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,the unseen presence...
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 03:00 PM

Somewhere east of Blind River a lone and unkempt figure makes his lonely way down the side of the highway. Scorned by passing motorists who ignore his raised thumb or else return the gesture with an upraised middle finger, he trudges wearily on. The sky is darkening with gathering rain clouds, and a bitter wind creeps in around the collar of his lumberjack jacket.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 02:21 PM

Good luck Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 01:24 PM

Well flip! The boy left this mornin' at 8 AM. Very flippin' unusual for him to be up then, eh? I was just about to go to work at the service station and he wanted to say goodbye. He is thumbin' down to Huntsville. I figger it won't take him too long to get there but I am sorta worried what happens when he does, eh? I mean, what if she flippin' tells him to hit the flippin road? I don't wanta think about what might happen then. This could be real bad.

Then too what if she decdides to be nice and marry him or somethin'? That could also be real bad. Why? Because the woman is a cold-hearted and stuck-up tightass, that's why. I know this. She turned me down twice, eh? The second time she put an armlock on me and damn near busted my arm. That would not of happen3ed if she was normal. It never happens. There is somethign seeriously wrong with that Office Dana. Maybe she is a lesbain or somethin'. Some of them female cops are lesbains. It is well known. She is real good lookin' but that don't mean nothin' cos some of them are, eh? Majer waste of there pteontenshal, eh?

I am real worried about what could happen to the little brother this time. He is between a rock and a flippin' hard woman!

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 12:58 PM

It's not the way you smile that touched my heart
It's not the way you kissed that tears me apart

Many, many, many nights go by
I sit alone at home and cry over you
What can I do?
Don't want nobody, nobody
Cause, Dana, it's you
Dana, it's you

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 09:40 PM

Remember what Robert Browning said, "Shane":

He either fears his fate too much
Or his desserts are small
Who does not put it to the touch
To gain or lose it all.

Hey "Shane"
Don't be afraid
You were made to
Go out and get her....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 05:47 PM

Weddin' bells are breakin' up that old gang of mine....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 05:42 PM

Okay. I have flippin' come to a life-changin' deesishun here. I am gonna leave the past behind. I am gonna change my flippin' disresponsbile ways and find a way to win the heart of, like, the woman of my dreams: Officer Dana.

I will leave tomorrow right after I put out the stuff that I ain't takin' which my friends can have. My stash of porno mags. My stash of bnongs, 'cept for the good one. My old boots and other stuff like that. My hockey stick. The bikes. The snowmobile that don't work. The articial set of bazongas that I have hangin' on the bedroom wall. My friends can have all that good stuff.

I will be on the road. I will not be able to tell youse much becoz I will be flippin' offline, eh? But I will try to chech in at a liberry on the way.

I here she is in Huntsville, so that is where I am goin'. I will find her and I will throe myself at her mercy. I am goin' for broke this time.

As fer the flipface up norht who thinks he is me...I don't care. Flippin' COME to Blind River, you bolthole, and tell yer story to Don, my big brother. See how far it gets ya! Don don't like boltholes that come arownd tellin' lies and pretendin' to be fambly. He will bust yer face.

Anyways, I don't care. Live or die, idiot-boy. I am off to the woman of my dreams and nothin' will stand in my way.

- Shane McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 12:08 PM

If it smells like burnin' rubber, yeah, he's probably thinkin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 11:41 AM

GUEST, carl, could you compose a piece based on Shane's current (suspected) state of mind? I am interested in your take on his plight.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 10:55 AM

Geez, Rapaire, you done it now. The boy is speechless. He's been sittin' on the back porch for hours just starin' at nothin' and...well, I guess he is thinkin'. Thinkin' hard. I never seen this before.

He don't even want no beer. He must be sick. Maybe dyin'.

I never seen this before.

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 10:45 AM

Community:
Bathurst Inlet (Nunavut), Traditional Name: Kinggauk/Qingaq/Umingmaktok, Translation: The nose

Infrastructure:
Power: Personal generators

Water: melted ice, pumped from river in summer

Sanitation: honey buckets, garbage disposal site

Economy:
Major Activity: Hunting, trapping, tourism, mineral exploration



This place sounds great. I love the honey buckets for sanitation, talk about living large. I see that tourism is already listed as a major economic activity so maybe I am too late. I want to go somewhere unspoiled.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 10:27 AM

When you and Officer Dana get posted to that remote cabin in the woods... don't forget to bring the keys to the handcuffs.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 09:13 AM

Go for Officer Dana. You're way too good for Shania Twain, man.

Hey, think of you and Officer Dana both in the police force together! Posted to some small place out in the woods, just you and her together all winter in a small cabin, and when a trapper with cabin fever goes nuts and holds her with a knife to her throat, you, Officer Shane McBride, rescue her by knocking the trapper out with one blow right to the jaw! POW! and he's down. The Force gives you a medal and a promotion and she thanks you -- again -- for saving her life. Blind River gives you a big parade for saving her and all the kids in the school he busted into and everyone is saying, "Wow! What a man HE turned out to be!" and Big Brother Don is bustin' the buttons off his shirt and sayin' "Yeah, he used to drink MY beer!"

Go for Officer Dana.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 11:14 PM

Flip me. No kiddin', eh?

Look, man, if it was the right woman...

A minivan and a Honda flippin' Accord? I could sorta see that.

Anything is possible, eh? I would give up the flippin' wild life and bein' the ragin' stud of the Northland if I could have the love of the right woman.

We are talkin' either Officer Dana...or Shania Twain.

Whaddya figure my chances?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 10:56 PM

"Shane," I think that deep down you are probably just a big old cuddly teddy bear. I think that you're just yearning for love and affection and if the right woman came along, why, you'd be wearing a business suit and a tie in no time at all. You'd probably even give up beer and smoke.

I can picture it: "Shane" out in the back yard, playing catch with his 2.4 children, his wife looking on as "Shane" also keeps one eye on the grill where the hamburgers are cooking. In the driveway is a beige minivan and a Honda Accord, neither of them new but not old, either -- just good, suburban vehicles for a good, suburban family.

In the morning "Shane" leaves for his job as an accoutant with an insurance company, listening to soft rock music from the '70s (perhaps "Muskrat Love") as he drives to the high-rise building in which his cubicle resides.

All because of the love of a good woman....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 09:08 PM

Umm...Carl?   

What are you on?


Know where I can get some?



- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,carl
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 08:53 PM

The Brian that I proudly knew

Brian would rise half-way through the night;. In winter it would often be at midnight or an hour later, two at the latest. Before daybreak he would get ready for his work.

Admittedly, he fell asleep very easily during the day, and would often doze and wake up at his work. After he had something to eat (his meals during the day were light and simple in the old-fashioned way),. I

On returning home, he devoted his spare time to his main hobby, classifying rare beetles..

In summer, when he was not too busy, he would often lie in the sun, and read a book aloud. He made extracts of most everything he thought, fearing oblivion.

After hie rested in the sun he generally took a cold bath, ate something and had a short sleep. Then he was ready to start a new day.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 08:48 PM

You are so flipping right, Carl. Presenta-flippin-bility is three quarders of the flippin' battle, eh? That is why when I want to impress a girl fr'instance...I take a lotta care with my "look", eh? I make sure to wear cool clothes, like my T-shirt that has a red arrow on it pointin' down and it says under the arrow:

FREE SEX (Men need not apply)

And I usually shave maybe twice a week too. If it needs done.

And I wear my jacket. That jacket has been around some, lemme tell ya.

And the hat. The hat has got to go on just right. You don't wanna wear yer hat like some kind of geek, know'm sayin'? I usually wear mine straight backwards, cos that is the coolest way to do it. You can tilt it a bit to one side fer the "dangerous" look too. Some chicks totally dig that.

Then you give' 'em a wink and a grin. Works for me. I don't hardly have to say anything.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,carl
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 08:35 PM

there is no book so good that one can not get out of reading it all.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,carl
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 08:25 PM

rhetoric, essentially the art of speaking in public. However, since a speech is only convincing when the speaker looks and seems reliable, there is a lot more to rhetoric than only speaking: it is a complete program of good manners and general knowledge.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 06:59 PM

a ho is a ho even if the Nesperse injuns didn't know.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 06:55 PM

IDAHO ?!

Not even Don Imus is allowed to say Ida ho

Its time fur a State name change you sick sexist suns of a benches.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 05:46 PM

What's the latest on grumpy al?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 05:41 PM

Hey, I'm just sayin' that better lookin' women are attracted to Mutton Busters than to Mutton Wranglers! I ain't either one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 05:35 PM

HA HA HA! You are tryin' to tell ME somethin' about women???????? That is like the Pope tryin' to tell me somethin' about rollin' joints or jumpin' the wires in some diphead's pickup truck...

Don't make me flippin' laff, man. What I know about women you will not know in the next fifty-flippin'-thousand years!   And what I DON'T know about women ain't worth knowin'. Trust me.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 05:31 PM

I will keep my word, should you wish to ride out here and try a career in mutton busting, I will take you up the Hovel, let you fill up on beer, see the Girls' show, and everything I promised earlier. I will even introduce you to the Top Hand Mutton Busters, 'cause making BIG money as a Buster sure beats making tiny money as a Wrangler. You attract better lookin' women, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 05:23 PM

Oh so I am tha one who is "nuts", eh? FLIP YOU!!! It is flipheads like you, Rapaire...that are the cawse of most of the flippin' probalems in the world! You are a majer flippin' problem, man, and you are a problem that needs dealin' with. I would deal with it myself if Idaho was not so flippin' far away, eh? But I can't be botehred to go there. You are a bolthole's bolthole, man. You are sick and useless. You are the crap outta the hind end of Idaho. Nothin' that ever was done to you would flippin be bad enuff to be what you really deeserve!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 01:25 PM

I am starting the believe that "Shane" is, indeed, only one person but is suffering from a multiple personality disorder. Or to put it another way, there's only one of him but he's nuts.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 01:11 PM

I hope the flippin' looser impostder gets his mungoberries froze off up there in Eskymo land and then gets ate by a polar bear! Better yet, mayebe them Eskymos will be short of food and they will, like, put the flipface in the old stew pot, eh? That would be a good flippin' use of his sorry ass! What a bolthole. They should flippin' save him from a werse fate which is what will happen if th idiot ever shows up HERE and I get aholt of him.

- Shane (the real one) (at home in Blind River)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 01:00 PM

I just noticed that the traditional name for BI is "The Nose." That "Shane" sure can pick 'em, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 12:58 PM

I'll save you some time. Here's the word on BI from the gen-u-wine Canadian gummint!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Apr 07 - 11:15 AM

See how much fun The McBride clan is, grumpy al? It's a laugh a minute around these parts. I gotta find out where this Bathurst Inlet is, I'm planning my vacation and don't want to miss out on any enriching experiences. Sounds like it could be the next big thing and I want to beat the rush.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 04:59 PM

Flip! I take a ride with flippin' truck so I can get flippin' home and you knwo wat? I'm not home! I'm in flippin' BATHURST INLET and there ain't NOTHIN here! They even use buckets as...well, I thought flippin' Sudbury was skanky but this is TOO FLIPPIN' MUCH, MAN!! And the trucker left me hear and I'm doin' this in the public liberry and might never ever get home! No beer, no flippin' NOthing!

iF I get back to Blind River I ain't nver leavin' again. Not even for one of them Sudbury skanks. Rite after I fix that flippin' inposter!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 04:18 PM

Indeed so, welcome grumpy al, don't be a stranger. Don't let Shane(tta(s)) scare ya, they are really a lot of fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 04:14 PM

So, we had a visit from grumpy al. Was this his/her first visit? Will they ever post here again? What's the low down on grumpy al? Anyone know grumpy al from other threads? Welcome to the thread grumpy al.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 02:45 PM

and a one - uh
and a two - uh

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 02:39 PM

And one...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 02:23 PM

1700

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 02:23 PM

I have a map on the wall with many lines both straight and curved. All are correct depending on your vantage point.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 01:24 PM

Yes, but those are straight curves.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 12:25 PM

Probably because a curve is stronger.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 11:49 AM

Many dams are curved.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 11:41 AM

If the dam isn't straight wouldn't it leak?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 10:27 AM

Damn straight.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 09:43 AM

"He's nicer than many people, in fact."

That is, unfortunately, not terribly difficult.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 09:35 AM

He makes allowances for it. He's really more tolerant than you would think from his postings on Mudcat. He's nicer than many people, in fact.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Apr 07 - 09:22 AM

So, LH, how does Chongo feel about that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: grumpy al
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 02:29 PM

Nope eighty five billion and one
Grumps

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 02:01 PM

Now that I've "come out", I do hope people will be tolerant and not too judgemental. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 10:01 AM

Gee, I didn't know that. I did kinda suspect it, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Apr 07 - 12:06 AM

Yeah, and I'm an albino, dope-smoking baboon from the planet Mongo...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 07 - 10:12 PM

"Shane," please calm down! One of you is a former Trappist monk, a man of God, dedicated to peace and prayer.












That does, however, seem remote....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 21 Apr 07 - 08:09 PM

Boy...I am seriusly startin' to wonder if there really is another idiot-boy out there who thknks he is my little brother. The lug nut sounds like my little brother, eh? Shane is havin' a shitfit about it all the time, chargin' around and yellin' about the imposeter that is pretending to be him. Ha! Ha! As if anyone would want to be him, eh?

I figger it is just some hoser tryin' to pull his chaine, but I got my fingers crossed. What if the guy really shows up? It oughta be good. I wish I knew fore sure and when he is gonna get here. I would sell tickets too, eh? Flippin' hillareos!

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 21 Apr 07 - 02:03 PM

Oh you flippin' boltholes' son of a bolthole! I hope you get here soon, man. You are gonna kiss the glove and die! I will meet you in the back of the Tim Hortons like I said before. I patched things up with them and I am aloud on the propitty again. You are gonna be sorry you stoled my indentaty you IDIOT! I wisht I knew when you are gonna get here so's I could sell tickets to all my frineds and my fans arownd here to come and see your butt get kicked acrost town.

- Shane (the one, the ONLY, the MAN!)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Apr 07 - 09:51 AM

"Bloom County's "true" setting was known to residents of Iowa City, IA, during the strip's run. The Bloom Boarding house, which appeared as a high contrast photo within the strip, was an actual residence in Iowa City, where Breathed lived at the time." (from Search.com)

I used to live right across the street from the Bloom County Boarding House. It is on the corner of Summit and College in Iowa City. I looked for a picture to link to but came up dry.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 07 - 09:47 AM

I dunno, freds. But he IS well marinated and has probably been beaten nice and tender.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 08:45 PM

Is this "Shane" person of good proteinic stock?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 08:42 PM

Lissen, I gotta git out of this flippin' place. One of the girls up here has got the hots for me and if I don't git out of here her flippin' old man is gonna come down real flippin' hard on me. So I got me a ride out on a truck. The driver says he could use the company, so I'm out of here tomorrow at like about three flippin' a.m. in the morning. The flippin' mounties willhave to clean there onw flippin' crappers tomorrow!

And wehn I get back home some dust is gonna flippin' FLY!! It's gonna be like when Poopeye clobbers Blotto in the cartoons and I'm gonna eb Popeeye and that flippin' inpostre is gonna be flippin' Bludo!

- The Real Only Shane McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 08:34 PM

And only two letters difference between "Shane" and "Sham."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 07:17 PM

There is only one little letter different between "Shane" and "Shame".

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 06:05 PM

Something just occurred to me. Mom and Dad McBride first had Don, and then ran out of names. So they called the next two sons "Shane" and that explains it all. (The girl twin was called "Shanetta" of course.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 06:03 PM

There is but one penguin.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 05:17 PM

Holy Penguin!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 04:19 PM

When I was a kid we used to sing this as "Who's got the penguin, they do the mambo"


Who's got the pain when they do the mambo?
Who's got the pain when they go "Ugh"?
Who's got the pain when they do the mambo?
I dunno who-do you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 02:06 PM

oh sorry.......................typo!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 01:59 PM

Oh dear! Penguin lust.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 01:54 PM

well flip me!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 01:46 PM

That was fun!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 01:15 PM

Here, "Shane" old buddy, you can toss a penguin!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 20 Apr 07 - 12:35 PM

You are nothin' but a great big noise, flipface. Go flip a penguin or somethin' and just shut up!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Apr 07 - 09:34 PM

Flip you, man! Frist you steal my beer and then you stela my bother Don and now you are tryin' to steal my gril! Officer Dana and me are, like, realy close and I ain't seen her for a long time and now you are writng flippin' POMES to her! Well, I got a pome for youu:

Anybody steals my girl
I'm going to kick until they curl
Up with pain and spit up blod
Then I'll grind their face into the mud.

That's wat I'm gong to do to you when I get back to Blind River, you flippin' greasy clot!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Apr 07 - 09:02 PM

Okay.

Owed to Officer Dana

Officer Dana is, like, the queen of my heart
I can hardly flippin' stand it that we are still apart
I think about her almost every day
Speshully when things ain't goin' my way, eh?

I think that we would make a great pare
Even if she wanted me to, like, wash my hair
More than I want to, like maybe twice a week
Which ain't reely nessesary unlest you are some kinda "clean" freak!

I would do ennything to be her true and only love
Except one or two things like....

like...

Flip! Ferget about that verse. It don't work.

Okay.

I would do ennything so's she could be mine
I would climb Mownt Everist if I had the time
I would even stop smokin'...for a day or two
Just to show her that my love is true

(I would, eh?)

I hope that one day we will be happilly married
And settle down in a nice apartment...maybe in Barrie
Cos I hear that Barrie is a good town fer cops
And if you are married to one, it'd be an okay place to flop.

Decent, eh?

- Shane

(I hope she gets to read it. I ain't seen her in awhile and it would be cool if she did and it might convinse her to get posted back to Blind River soon.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Apr 07 - 05:52 PM

How about an ode to Officer Dana? Are you still carrying a torch for her?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Apr 07 - 01:40 PM

Flippin' A, man! Jeez. Mayebe it is time fer me to go prerfessional, eh?

That looser who is preetending to be me and freezin' his mungoberries off up Norht can't write no poetry, eh? He don't have enuff brains to do that. He is a flippin' joke.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 07 - 09:38 AM

Shane, you can only be ranked as a true poetaster! You rank with McGonigle and Moore, and your name without a doubt will be enshrined with theirs! Your poem has affected me deeply, so please excuse me so that I can give it the attention it deserves.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 18 Apr 07 - 11:47 PM

Flip me once...shame on you! Flip me twice....you better flippin' not try it AGAIN!!! I cant' wait fer you to come here you flippin' goof! I will pound you right inta the flippin' ground idiot-boy!

I gess maybe I can right poetyr after all. Cool, eh?

Okay.

Roses are red
vilettes are blue
Here is a poem from me to you
It is not the kind of peom you will find in no school
Becoz I did not learn the flippin' golden rule!
I am the man
As anyone can see
I did not get these here looks
From livin' in no flippin' tree
As a matter of fact
And I will say it with pride
I am a flippin' Adontist
Becuase I am a McBride
McBrides are the best
They are my family
We came into this country
From a ways acrost the sea
A long, long time ago
When there was only ships that had sails
Which anyone will know if he ain't, like, a total lunch pail!
And ever since we arrived here
We been drinkin' Canada's great beer
Which is why you will see us
Most nights around ten or eleven
Hoistin' a cool one and stinkin' to high heaven!

And proud of it too, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 18 Apr 07 - 10:08 PM

Flip me! That imposder is writin' poetry now! That's goin' too flippin' FAR! When I get bakc to Blind River I'm firts goin' to have a beer and then II'm goin' to brake him, her, or it in to littel peices and flush them down the flippin' TOILET!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Apr 07 - 02:07 PM

She is so lyrical
with just the toss of her hair
Desireable in every word
that floats in the air

but I am spherical
white pasty and bland
and cynical
the most cynical in the land

Then she touches me
and I understand
I melt like an icecicle
in la la lava land

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 18 Apr 07 - 01:11 PM

Youse can all just flip off with yer poetry
Becoz I am not no flippin' poet....see?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 Apr 07 - 01:00 PM

There once was a fellow named Shane
And another fellow named Shane
And one named Shanetta
and a Brother Crispin

Oh, screw it

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 18 Apr 07 - 11:06 AM

Could be it's The Twilight Zone,
For one Shane must be a clone,
It seems that the case is,
If he's in two places,
How can the "real" Shane be known?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 07 - 09:31 AM

There once was a fellow named Shane
Who's last name he said was McBride
Or maybe there were two
And a sister and brother
But Shane himself, whoever he was, was as screwed up as this limerick because he never did really either scan or rhyme or anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 17 Apr 07 - 03:35 PM

Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
So asked Shane the greatest of hosts
In a fit of genius he started this thread
To benefit all, not just the well read

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Apr 07 - 01:18 PM

There once was a fellow named Shane
Of Blind River he was the bane
The girls didn't want him
The boys they would taunt him
So he stood all alone in the rain

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 09:16 PM

Wow. That is truly wonderful.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 06:23 PM

It is known by almost no one that Shane (whichever he be) is mentioned by no lesser poet than John ("Big Johnny") Dryden himself:

... Shane alone my perfect image bears,
Mature in dullness from his tender years:
Shane alone, of all my sons, is he
Who stands confirmed in full stupidity.
The rest to some faint meaning make pretence,
But Shane never deviates into sense.
Some beams of wit on other souls may fall,
Strike through, and make a lucid interval;
But Shane's genuine night admits no ray;
His rising fogs prevail upon the day.
Besides, his goodly fabric fills the eye,
And seems designed for thoughtless majesty;
Thoughtless as monarch oaks that shade the plain,
And, spread in solemn state, supinely reign....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 06:17 PM

POEM ABOUT SHANE 1.

One Shane, two Shane, three Shane, four,
Such a mysterious character, how many more?
He's got a brother called Don and a sister called Shanetta,
But they don't believe her, cos they've never even met her

© IWTATBM FFP 2007. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 03:40 PM

"Transporting A Beaver For Immoral Purposes"

That sounds like something Shane would do (or at least try to do).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 04:17 PM

A willing female what?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 09:44 AM

I don't know what's going on. Maybe he actually found a willing female, and hasn't come up for air yet...so to speak.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 07 - 09:24 AM

I think "Shane" had his butt thrown into the slammer for something like "Molesting A Tree" or "Transporting A Beaver For Immoral Purposes," both of which are heavy-duty felonies in Ontario (Manitoba doesn't care). Or the "Shane" has frozen up solid in ice for the Summer. Or both. Or none of the above. Or all of the above.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 05:27 PM

I think Shane is camping out for Dylan tickets.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 09:29 AM

Several hours in a pre-school and you lived to tell about it? I am impressed.

Welcome home IWTATBM, hope your mission was a success. You didn't happen to see Shane while you were gone did you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 08:59 AM

Yeah, I know. Others have been much tougher. Once I had to spend several hours in a pre-school.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 06:49 AM

Call that a secret mission Rapaire? Luxury.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 09:59 PM

I've been away too. On a tippy-top, oh so secret, mission as well. I can only tell you that I had to make a HALO jump from 75,000 feet, pulling the rip cord at 50 feet so that I was well under the radar when the 'chute deployed. But they did let me have rubber heels on my shoes for the landing. I can also tell you that I had to swim raging rivers, wade through swamps and other morasses, brave blowing blizzards, and fight off a grizzly bear and a lion with nothing but a toothpick while hanging upside pretending to be a bat.

How was yours?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 06:18 PM

Hi all. I've been away on a secret mission but I'm back now. Can't say any more, said too much already. Hope you all understood my coded messages.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 09:24 AM

I just hope he's not swinging from a sour apple tree.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 09:03 AM

Poor, poor "Shane." I guess he's learned it's fun to swing....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 07 - 09:08 AM

You don't suppose that Canada's made a wee little exception to their "no capital punishment" rule just for "Shane", do you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 05:09 PM

Hey Shane(tta(s)), Rapaire is trying to help you out here. Will you slap away the hand proferred in friendship?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 11:53 AM

I will refresh this to that "Shane" doesn't have trouble finding it. You Know How He Can Be.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 09 Apr 07 - 12:50 PM

When I take you out, tonight, with me,
Honey, here's the way it's goin' to be:
You will set behind a team of snow white horses,
In the slickest gig you ever see!

Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry
When I take you out in the surrey,
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top!
Watch that fringe and see how it flutters
When I drive them high steppin' strutters.
Nosey pokes'll peek thru' their shutters and their eyes will pop!
The wheels are yeller, the upholstery's brown,
The dashboard's genuine leather,
With isinglass curtains y' can roll right down,
In case there's a change in the weather.
Two bright sidelight's winkin' and blinkin',
Ain't no finer rig I'm a-thinkin'
You c'n keep your rig if you're thinkin' 'at I'd keer to swap
Fer that shiny, little surrey with the fringe on the top!
All the world'll fly in a flurry
When I take you out in the surrey,
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top!
When we hit that road, hell fer leather,
Cats and dogs'll dance in the heather,
Birds and frogs'll sing all together and the toads will hop!
The wind'll whistle as we rattle along,
The cows'll moo in the clover,
The river will ripple out a whispered song,
And whisper it over and over:
Don't you wisht y'd go on forever?
Don't you wisht y'd go on forever?
Don't you wisht y'd go on forever and ud never stop
In that shiny, little surrey with the fringe on the top!
I can see the stars gettin' blurry,
When we drive back home in the surrey,
Drivin' slowly home in the surrey with the fringe on top!
I can feel the day gettin' older,
Feel a sleepy head on my shoulder,
Noddin', droopin' close to my shoulder, till it falls kerplop!
The sun is swimmin' on the rim of a hill;
The moon is takin' a header,
And jist as I'm thinkin' all the earth is still,
A lark'll wake up in the medder.
Hush, you bird, my baby's a-sleepin'!
Maybe got a dream worth a-keepin'
Whoa! you team, and jist keep a-creepin' at a slow clip clop.
Don't you hurry with the surrey with the fringe on the top!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 07 - 09:37 PM

Speaking of fringe....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 Apr 07 - 09:34 PM

Flippin' Esater in flippin' Noneuvut. Last night I was ast to a party and I said, "YEAH!" So I go to the flippin' party and they got all this food. People are puondin' on flippin' DRUMS! And flippin' DANCING. In a circle, not like real danding. And theres no BEER! So I go to the food, right? And I pick up this stuff and it's not too bad when a guy comes up and says "You like muktuk, eh?" and I said it's not too bad and then he tells me that it's flippin' WHALE skin with the blubbre left on! I nearly flippin'; puked right there! And then a lady gave me some ice creem, only it turned out to be flippin' fish oil mixed with snow!

Today I ate flippin' raindeer but I was so hungry by then that I'd have et flippin' Santy Clause too.

There ain't no Tim HOrton's here. I want to go back to flippin' Blind River where they got real food.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 07 - 10:46 AM

Their costumes, such as they are, are mostly fringe these days.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 08 Apr 07 - 06:32 AM

The Hotsee girls in their early days.....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 Apr 07 - 12:08 AM

Wow, eh? I'd sorta hate to miss that. Maybe this is a better idea than I thought. Wow, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 07 - 08:50 PM

Well, you could also go to the Legion Hovel as a guest (I'd sneak you in) on the night the Hotsee Girls perform their Idaho-and-parts-of-Montana-and-Wyoming-famous "Flame Dance." Only thing is that they have to use flashlights instead of flaming torches because of the Fire Department Regulations, but it's still pretty inspiring (if you follow my drift).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 07 Apr 07 - 03:48 PM

Flip me! That is one flippin' tough lookin' sheep, eh? Yer idea is maibee not the werst I have herd, Rapaire, but I think htis town still needs me, eh? I am gonna stay here awhiles longer and fight fer my flippin' rights. I was born in this town and I ain't leavin' yet.

But I will keep yer plan in mind, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 07 Apr 07 - 12:03 PM

are you feeling lucky punk....?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: AWG
Date: 07 Apr 07 - 10:21 AM

AND the love of the sheep. It's a win-win. Good for you Shane !!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 07 - 10:18 AM

"Shane," I think Don owns the house. He can toss you out to live with the sheep and goats. But at least you'd be warm, all huddled in there with the sheep and goats. And if you could find a mare (that's a girl horse) who had milk you could make kvass, which is fermented mare's milk and drink that instead of beer. Even better, you could learn to bust mutton (which isn't like, you know what) and eventually you could ride all the way out here to Idaho and meet me. I'd buy you a beer, but you wouldn't want it since all you'd be drinking by then would be kvass and I offer you some smoke but you'd only want to breathe the pure, clear air of the Rockies. And next Spring I'd enter you in the mutton bustin' competition of the DNCFR. You could end up World's Champion Mutton Buster, with a big ol' gold buckle and everything.

Then you go back to Blind River and go find Don and just snap your finger in his face and by then Officer Dana will be back and fall into your arms because YOU are the World's Champion Mutton Buster, with a gold belt buckle the size of a hubcap and everything. And when you walk down the street everyone will point at you and whisper that you're the World's Champion Mutteon Buster. You'll be famous!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: AWG
Date: 07 Apr 07 - 09:36 AM

At least you have the love of the sheep !! Look at the bright side.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind Drunk in Blind River
Date: 07 Apr 07 - 01:01 AM

Yer a flippin' bald face lier, Peace! I ain't never done it with no flippin' ANIMALS!!! GEez! I am outta jail now and back home, eh? Whiles I was away in the can my flippin' bruther Don put a flippin' combinsashin lock on the flippin' FRDIDGE! So i cant' get no flipp8n' beer now. I told that flippin' idiot that this was a fightin' matter, eh? And then we got into a bad fight too. We ain't talkin' now. He thinks he is so flippin' funny, and like he was the big boss here, eh? I think he is the worlds biggest BOLTHOLE!@ I have put a pee3ce of tape down on the floor to, like, markw whjere muy haff of the house ends and he ain't allowed to step on ny side. The Frigde is right in the flippin' middle of the line becoz I am not the type to let muy brothern starve eeven if he his a total flippin' idiot bolthole who aint' worth a peece of dog crap! But get this: eether the comabinashin lock goes...or HE goes! This is flippin' WAR!

I was arrested a few dayhs back becoz two skanks at the Tom Hortons were spyin' on me and said I fippin' exposed muyself in pubic when I peed on the back wall! That is a lie! I din't know there was any people but me around when I did it so I am 1000% innicent! I will get them fer this. The cops have let me loose on probation. They are all pond scum. I hate all of them.

Well, except Officer Dana. I wish she would come back. She is away somewhere's taking cop coarses or somethin'. I really flippin' miss her.

There is not one flippin' person in this town I can trust. My life has turned to shit.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 07 Apr 07 - 12:43 AM

Shane is a guy from Blind River, Ontario. He just got out of jail for shaggin' sheep. He was arrested on a Sunday and fell afoul of the "Sunday Laws" in Ontario. Sheep shagging is a misdemeanour except on Sundays. He left the church service pissed (drunk in other words) and off he went to a herd of sheep. Lord knows how many he went through, but the OPP busted the sick sob and threw him in the slam. He deserved it. Is nothing sacred anymore? They ought to throw him back in.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: AWG
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 11:01 PM

Who the hell is Shane ?? And what about Celtic Woman, where do they fit in to all of this??

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 10:19 PM

She was a well-seasoned woman. A true pillar of the community, the very salt of the earth.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 12:18 PM

That would explain a lot, but what about Lot's wife?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 11:41 AM

So Celtic Woman is really The Dixie Chicks?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 09:16 AM

Seems to me Shane as originally presented would go ga ga over Celtic Woman since Celtic Woman is really more along the lines of Celtic Women, there being five (I think) females along with one male who might present a problem unless Shane really is Shanetta in which case the male member (so to speak) might be the object of desire while the female members would be in the way, unless of course Shanetta swings from both sides of the plate whereupon the entire ensemble might be just the ticket for our esteemed friend (that being Shane(s)-Shanetta of course).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 09:07 AM

Yeah. Posturing, yelling at each other, threats, all sorts of things done from a couple hundred meters apart.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 11:15 PM

The day they are seen together will be one to remember for Blind River.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 09:51 PM

Let's see: would "Shane" or "Shane" go for Celtic Woman? Actually, would either of them go for women at all? Both seems overly defensive of their presumed masculinity, and "the lady doth protest too much." I'm not certain now the "Shane" is actually male! "Shane" could also be "Shanetta"!! We have only "Shane"'s word that s/he is in Blind River and only "Shane"'s word that s/he is in Nunivut. And it's odd that they've never been seen together.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 06:30 PM

Let's switch topics from absolute nonsense to a serious one...Celtic Woman and their movement towards world domination (musically, if I had meant literally I would have said Canada).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 12:15 PM

I drink bottled water purely for medicinal reasons. I prefer it flavored with hops and barley malt.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:30 PM

They can tap their water, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:39 PM

How about if they just tap their feet?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:35 PM

It's the music that traditionalists dance to.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:40 AM

OK, what is traditional music?

I know, I said I only had one question. That was then, this is now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 09:57 PM

It's the music of the folk, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 05:25 PM

I just have one question.

What is Folk Music?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 05:00 PM

; - )

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 12:39 PM

That smile makes me think maybe he knows something that he isn't sharing. Come on, IWTATBM, what gives? Have you solved "The Case of the Two Shanes" by chance? After all, you are our resident sleuth.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 09:48 AM

He's back! And he's smiling! Feeling better IWTATBM?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 09:09 AM

If "Shane" started walking south, and "Shane" started walking north...nah, they'd end up switching places and nothing would be solved.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 07:45 AM

: - )

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 07:38 PM

1,600.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 07:37 PM

now:

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 07:37 PM

Just

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Linda Goodman Zebooker
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 03:22 PM

I used to watch too much TV. Now, I seldom turn it on. I have to keep up with the antics of Shane(s?) now, and hopefully watch for the re-emergence of IWTATBM. The suspense!!!

Linda (who's supposed to be cleaning house today)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 02:10 PM

One step forward, two steps back, a couple to the side, slide, one two three, dip, one two three....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 01:37 PM

Okay...so we have one Shane in the lockup in North Ontario, locked up...and the other Shane in the lockup in Nunavut, not locked up. Are we making progress or experiencing a series of setbacks here?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 10:58 AM

The flippin' retreads put me on shore! Kicked me off the boat! And they left me with the flippin' fisheaters at a Mounty post! All because all I did kwas to go in a closet that said "Mechanical" on the door. And I was just tryin' to make the heads work better so I wouldn't have to clean them so flippin' often! Flippin;' iceheads! All I did was somehow make the Captan's head a fountain, and it looked flippin' good, too, except for the stuff that was in it that got all over everythang.

So the left me at this flippin' mounty post in Nunofit or wharever I am. The mountys are makin' me scrub flippin' FLOORS for my keep! I'm a Canadian Citizen! And theyr makin[' me scrub their flippin' FLOOR while some imposter sits in Blind River drinkin' my beer, smokin' my stash, and havin' a good time with Don's money.

And the Mountys make me sleep in a JAIL CELL, but they leave the door open.

FLIP THIS! I want to go home!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 07 - 09:46 AM

Come to think of it, Don...here in the States such folks are called "Weenie Waggers" in prison. They have a pretty rough time of it, since they're taken to be more of a joke than a tough guy crook.

I hope he doesn't meet someone like Buggerem Frank or Snottynose or "Big" Dick O'Brien. They would make his jail time...interesting.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 07 - 09:39 AM

I doubt that donut-sucker can draw well enough for it to be so recognized by a court.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 10:44 PM

True, but what about the obscene graffiti?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 10:34 PM

Don, I hate to tell you this but he'll be out, free as a bird, cleared of that charge. As the lawyers say, "De minimus non curat lex" or in English, "The law doesn't concern itself with trifles" and what he's got is about as small as it gets.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 09:59 PM

Hey people! All youse out there in Innernetland? I hate to be the barer of bad news, eh? But get this...

Idiot-boy (the little brother Shane) got his self arrested again. The cops came about a half hour ago, questioned him, charged him, and took him away in the flippin' cruiser. And ya know what for?

EXPOSIN' HIS SELF BEHIND THE FLIPPIN' TIM HORTONS!!! HA! HA! HA! HA!

I could hardly flippin' beleve anyone would care, eh? I mean, it ain't like he has a lot to expose, right? Ask any really dumb girl in this town and she'll tell you! HA! HA! HA!

But the fact is that someone seen him whip it out and pee on the wall at the back of the donut shop. It was one of girls who was havin' a smoke break. She ran in and told her friend and they sneaked out and got a picture with her cellphone. The little brother was so busy that he didn't, like, notice, cos he was trying to draw pattersn on the wall or some flippin thing like that, eh? The Tim Hortons manager called the cops, and the rest is hystery.

So tell the world. My baby brother Shane has done it again! And this is a brand flippin' new charge too. He ain't been charged with this before, eh? Pretty cool. I put a check mark on the wall every time he gets charged fer somethin' new, so this is great. He's up to 85 check marks now and ain't murdered no one or robbed no banks. Flippin' impressive, eh? HA! HA! HA!

I gotta see if he can talk the cops into givin' him a slap on the rist...or maybe somewhere else...

We will see. I figger he's in fer a few days, that's all.

They charged him with obscene graffiti too. He did a picture on the wall with a spray can. What a looser, eh?

This means there will definitely be more beer in the fridge for at least a few days, and that can't be bad. I'm laffin'. I got my paycheck today too. I'm seriously laffin' here, people! Flippin' A! It's gonna be a nice quiet weekend, just me, Bernice, and all the beer we can drink. We will see if we can smuggle one in to the idiot-boy in the slammer so's he don't get suacidally depressed. I would not want that. McBrides have gotta stick toghether threw thick and thin. That's what family is for, eh?

- Don McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 09:24 PM

Why wait until no one was looking? There's nothing there to see anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 06:59 PM

I wisht I had you here, Rapaire, cos I would make you eat yer flippin' words. I drew a pitcher of you on the back wall of the Tim Hortons, eh? It shows you the way you really are. A total flippin' ;useless dipwad and idiot. Underneath it says

"RAPAIRE - the biggest flippin' looser in Idaho!"

When no one was lookin' I unzipped and peed on it. Har! Har! That is what I think of you!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 05:31 PM

: - \

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 04:37 PM

:-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(

Waddaya gonna do abouot it, punk? Come out to Idaho, where your ass will be grass and I'll be the lawn mower? Go on over to Timmy's place and suck a donut!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 04:05 PM

The flipper din't shoe up todya. The idiot is afraid of me. He ain't gonna show up. He is all talk and no flippin' ackshun, eh?

IWTISTHBM, what is yer flippin' prlblme? YOu think you ar e havi' n a rtuff time? Flip off.

If I see that stoopid ... :-(   thing again on this thrad I will kick yer flippin' ass!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 01:59 PM

: - (

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 09:35 AM

JeZUSS! That's it allright. (Shudder!) Hell of a lot of logs, eh? And rocks. And trees. I sure as hell am glad I'm as far south as Orillia.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 09:28 AM

Genuine pictures of Northern       (Shane's the rightmost) Ontario, which Shane calls "God's Country."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Mar 07 - 01:09 AM

You are so flippin' lame, Rapaire! I flippin' pity you. I really do. Hear I am up here up in Gods' flippin' land...North Ontario...and yer sorry ass is stuck in the middle of flippin' Idaho! A dumphole of a place which is named after a flippin' skank that gided Jerry Lewis and Flipface Clark to the Pacific Ocean and probally flippin' slept with both of 'em every night of the hole flippin' trip! I know my hiswtery, man. Idaho is fulla skanks and morons AND majer loosers! And you are one of the majerest loosers, eH? Why don't YOU flippin' get a reel job, eh? You are startin' to tick me off.

- Shane (the one and only)

(so...KISS MY POSTERIOR!...I AM SUPERIOR!)(that's a song by a group that is totally HOT and I bet you never flippin' heard of 'em, right dipwad?)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 10:47 PM

Come to think of it, at least we (and the police) know where "Shane" will be for at least three hours every day, assuming he knows how to tell time.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 08:51 PM

It doth appear that "Shane" needs Don to help him fight his fights. My younger brothers could fight their own fights -- they never ask for my help, and I didn't ask for theirs.

Well, I guess "Shane" feels he can't "take" this guy alone.....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 04:11 PM

Oh YEAH? You are headin' fer the biggest serprise of your sorry life, scumball! I will be waitin', eh? I will meet you in back of the Tim Horton's, bolthole, and you will find out what happins to people that flippin' steal MY identaty! Don't come to the house, dipwad, cos if you do me and my big brother Don will flippin' kill you deader than a flippin' flownder! Like I said, meet me at Timmy's. In the back parkin' lot, baby. I will be there. I am gonna steak it out every day between 4 pm and 7 pm untill you show up. Then you are gonna KISS THE FLIPPIN' GLOVE!!!!!!

- Shane (the one and only, the dude, the North Ontario Love Mashine, the MAN!)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 03:43 PM

You flippin' slug-nosed hairball! I know that youre smokin' my stash and drinkin' my beer. And when I get my hands on you I'm gonna flippin' tear you into pieces not even big anough for flippin' bait! I haven't cleaned fourty seven million flippin' heads to work my way back and find that you've flippin' stolen my idenity and beer and every flippin' thing I've worked to get!

You just wait til I get back, you flippin' doofus mucker!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 03:02 PM

Run free, let down your hair, shout from the highest mountain top, "I am here!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 02:25 PM

: -(

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 12:35 PM

I meant it as a metaphor, but hey, whatever turns ya on, ya know?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 11:34 AM

it is?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 11:05 AM

(It's kinda like kissing a frog.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 11:05 AM

Donuel posted! Donuel posted! That removes the curse from IWTATBM!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 09:41 AM

you guys are funnier than Martin Short but after my "loser" comic attempt I learned that a bad comic is worse than a bad proctologist.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 29 Mar 07 - 09:17 AM

Or maybe even a fight.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 10:07 PM

I do believe that this might possibly lead to fisticuffs.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:08 PM

Oh, my.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 05:45 PM

No, YOU lissen, you flip-faced son of a Sudbury under-age skankette! The only one who has a right, and I meen a flippin' GODgiving rigth to smoked my flippin' stash and cleane out Don's money and beer is ME. I, me and myself, eh? Not YOU! You stay on yer flippin' boat and freeze yer flippin' mungoberries off where you belong which ain't here!

- Shane (the real and only one)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 05:38 PM

Sorry, IWTATBM, I really can't help you. Maybe you could lift the curse yourself, you know, with eye of newt and the feather of an Archaeopteryx or some such. Give it a shot, can't hurt.

They had a DVD of "Fried Green Tomatoes" at the store over the weekend but I didn't really want to spend $9.44 on it. Guess I have to wait until someone returns a copy to the library.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 01:59 PM

: (

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 09:25 AM

Listen, you flippin' rat-livered loser! If you've smoked up my flippin' stash and cleaned out Don's money and beer I'm going to stick your flippin' head up you're flippin' backside and keep shovin' until you disappear! I'm going to use you for flippin' fish bait anyway when I get back!

Shane (the real one)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 28 Mar 07 - 12:28 AM

You are totally flippin' OUT of it, man! I don't know what the flip you are on but I flippin' wish I had some, eh? If you ever make it off the flippin' boat and get to Blind River, mister idiot-boy-bolthole-flipface-retread, I will kick yer flippin' stoopid ass right outta town. Trust me. You will kiss the glove, dimwit! And then you will kiss the flippin' ground, eh?

- Shane (the real one!)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 09:17 PM

This stinks, man! This flippin' place is full of Eskeemos and it's flippin' COLD! We got that flippin' idiot out of the ice and HE'S on the way South! WE gotta go to some other place up here because the eskeemos need something or some other flippin' reason. But I don't get to leave the flippin' boat! Do you boltholes know how many flippin' heads one of these boats has got? Do you?

Well, I know every flippin' one of them! And no beer and no smoke and unless I sneak using this computer I can't use them just because they caught me lookin' pictures of naked women! Flippi8n' retreads!

I just want to get back to Blind flippin' River! Or even close!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 04:21 PM

They're giving away free IWTATBM?? Where?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 04:08 PM

: (

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 03:33 PM

Free IWTATBM!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 11:15 AM

Okay. Just checking. I put it away and, as soon as everything is sorted out, I'll give it to Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 07:48 AM

:(

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 07 - 11:01 AM

IWTATBM, is that you? 'Cause if it ain't, I've go me a double-barreled 12 gauge shotgun loaded with #4 buckshot right here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Mar 07 - 05:36 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 09:22 PM

Certainly, IWTATBM. But there are Questions To Be Answered about it and I doubt that a Marsh Test would be accurate enough. And while a titration of liver samples would certainly be definitive, we don't have any to titrate.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 05:43 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 05:12 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 05:08 PM

I can't argue with you there IWTATBM but I don't know that I agree with your other point. Could you provide more examples, perhaps that might help me get my mind around your premise.



Nice to hear from you again GUEST,Canadienne, it's been a long time since you graced our little party. As you can see, things are in a bit of a muddle.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 05:00 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 04:44 PM

Confused? - you soon will be....

I think I saw this soap on TV Rapaire :)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 04:15 PM

Or, to answer your question, maybe.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 04:13 PM

Here ya go:

1. Shane does something. Being a better Big Brother than I am, Don takes the rap and goes off to the local place of durance vile.

2. Shane, in a fit of alcoholic remorse, joins the Trappists and ends up in Madagascar.

3. Meanwhile, back in Blind River, someone else realizes (or, being Canadian, realises) that with Don in the hoosegow and Shane off to the cloister the road to steal Shane's identity is wide open (as is the beer cooler and Don's bank account).

4. Shane is kicked out of the Trappists and sent back to Canada, but misses his plane and ends up in Amsterdam. Eventually, the Canadian Consulate arranges a trip home for him on an icebreaker and to pay his way back he's put to cleaning the heads.

5. Someone else pretends to be Shanetta, Shane's twin sister. But IWTATBM confesses that was her/him. But another Shanetta appears, one with a PhD in Computational Physics (or so she claims).

6. Shane's icebreaker is re-routed to the Boothia Peninsula on a rescue mission, which does not make Shane happy.

7. Someone posts as Don McBride, claiming that Shane really is his brother. Immediately thereafter, someone claiming to be Shane posts that Don posted because he (Shane) "ast" him to.

So we have Don, Shane, Shane, and Shanetta. And I think it's time for a bunch of DNA tests.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 03:44 PM

That's an interesting theory IWTATBM but I'm still a little fuzzy on exactly what you mean.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 03:36 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 03:24 PM

OK, so are you saying that the real Shane really did go to Madagascar (then to Amsterdam and on to the Boothia Penisula where he may be freezing to death at this very moment) and in his absence we had a fake Shane (maybe two or three) and that now this fake Shane is also fake Don and a fake Shanetta showed up who may be a real Shanetta but may not because the McBride boys might not even have a sister? Is that what you are saying?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 05:23 PM

It's very possible that Don is still in jail for "Shane" and that "Shane" himself posted as Don. The hoser doth protest too much, methinks. Could the "Shane" on the icebreaker be the real one and this one a...dare I say it?...a fake??? With Don in jail it would be simple for someone else to assume the identity of "Shane McBride."

I say, let's have DNA testing and sort this out once and for all!

As for "Shane" -- you DO know what the penalties are for identity theft, don't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 03:52 PM

I AST him to post you stoppid retread! Whaddya think, eh? Is yer flippin' head good fer anything excpet stickin' it up yer own wazoo?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 03:49 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 01:41 PM

I suspect that he was in jail, taking the rap for "Shane" as usual.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 01:08 PM

I find it intersting that Don suddenly shows up. Where has he been all this time? Is it just a coincidence that I ask about him and he posts later the same day? I think not. I fear something dark and sinister lurking just beneath the surface in Blind River. We may be sorry we ever asked, but the Genie is out of the bottle now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 11:41 AM

Fascinating questions indeed, Rapaire. We need a full family history of the McBride clan ASAP so we can get to the bottom of this.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 09:16 AM

I think that DNA testing is in order. If Don and "Shane" do have a sister they might never have known -- family pride and all that: a good student, a sister with a doctorate, in THEIR family? Besides, they may have been told and have simply forgotten or had the knowledge washed away in the beer.

As for the other "Shane" I supppose that it could be Don's brother. Off on a bender with a friend, a fit of alcoholic remorse, joining the Trappists, the friend (and who can tell what he looks like, since greasey hair, yellow teeth, bloodshot eyes, and random beard stubble all look alike?) moves in to sponge off Don. Even the odors of stale tobacco smoke, stale beer and ancient biological mishaps would smell the same.

No, I think DNA testing is in order. Where can we get a sample of the McBride parents' DNA? All of the other four will provide it, drunk or sober. But...

What happens if we find that none of them are related? Or that Certain Familial Skeletons emerge from the closet?

Oh my, but this could be as exciting as the time Lady Pru's biscuit broke off in her tea whle she was entertaining the Governour-General!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 10:07 PM

Hey. It's Don here, eh? Well, well....ha! ha! Looks like the little brother is havin' a shitfit over people stealin' his idenity, eh? What a hoot! I mean, like, WHO would WANT TO????? Har! Har! Har! Geez, I been laffin' so hard my stomuck hurts, eh?

Okay, number 1 is...I don't buy this crap about no sister called Shanetta. No flippin' way. We woulda heard aobut it long before this, eh? It's jsut someone tryin' to piss off idiot-boy, that is all, and they are doin' a real good job, eh? Har! Har!

Numbetr 3, there is someone else pretendin' they are the idiot-boy or maybe there is more than one of them, flipped if I know, but one thing is flippin' sure....the idiot-boy is HERE, like always, spongin' off my hard work, pissin' off the local women, bummin' smokes and generally screwin' up bigtime. So what else is new, eh? Not much.

But there is a new waitress over at the Iron Horse and she's been givin' me the eye, so I gotta leave you flipheads to sort it out among yerselves, eh? Have fun! I know I'm gonna. See youse later.

- Don

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 06:22 PM

This is flippin' gettin' out of hand! I will hafta go and get my brother Don to flippin' testyfy on my be-flippin'-half, eh? He does not get on the flippin' net too much. I never flippin' thought when I started this flippin' thread that this would happen. My faith in flippin' hyumanaty has taken a serious hit, eh? It's a flippin' outraige!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 05:14 PM

So how many Shanes are there now? I think we are still at two but I'm not sure. Are there two Shanettas or none, or maybe one? And what about Don? He has been suspiciously absent from this entire episode (mostly), does he know something?

IWTATBM, why should we believe your most recent 'confession'? How do we know that IWTATBM is your real name anyway, you could have been an imposter from the first. Have you been in the tomato patch? (The library still didn't have a copy of "Fried Green Tomatoes" last weekend, I will try again.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 03:31 PM

%)*& %%$£"!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 03:18 PM

Your punishment is to stay and suffer. But then, you might like that. Suffering, I mean. But if you were forced to leave then you'd like that suffering, too.

I know! You can stay and post, but you can't say anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 03:14 PM

I have to confess that I am not nor ever have been the originator of the posts from Shanetta and confessed to creating the character because I am a confession freak. The obvious English phraseology suggested that I might get away with it, but I cannot live with my false confession. There, I have confessed again, but for genuine reasons this time. If anyone wants me to withdraw from the thread for bringing it into disrepute just say and I will leave with my tail between my legs (did I mention I was a dog?).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 01:58 PM

My brother is a firefighter. He has some interesting stories along the lines of coconut butt. Recently he was telling me about a collapsible light saber that had found its way into a fellows nether region. He declined to retrieve it, an ambulance was requested.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:43 PM

Well, Chongo, as they say, "Each to his own banana." If you want to do that I certainly wouldn't stand in the way of your creative impulse.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:35 PM

I'd rather shove a coconut up my own butt than get a P.H.D. in Computational Physics...

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:31 PM

I don't think she's gonna do that, "Shane." I don't think she's even gonna supply bail money. Isn't it great to have such a loving sister?

God. A Ph.D. in computational physics.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:14 PM

Awww fer flip's sake! The flippin' stuff I gotta put up with here! Geez! It's worse than the loosers in the flippin' joint, eh? Youse people are all nuts, that is yer problem. I'm gonna have a bout 5 beer and pretend I din't hear that.

- Shane

p.s. If you are real..."Shanetta"...prove it. Send money, beer, and smokes to Box 191, Blind River. We preefer Players Light. Over and flippin' OUT.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Dr. Shanetta McBride
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:06 PM

I am very glad that the imposture has ended. I follow the antics of my twin, Shane, with a mixture of concern and amusement: concern that he is killing himself with smoking and drinking and amusement because his actions ARE amusing.

Shane and I were born fraternal twins, and that's where the similarities end. While I have always been known as "Shanetta McBride" our parents could not afford three children and I was put up for adoption. My adoptive parents were kind, educated, well-off, and nurturing people who through no fault of theirs could not have children.

Reading was encouraged in our home and I could read quite well by the time I started school. I don't remember when I first learned to play the piano, but music opened up a whole new world to me, one which eventually led me to a doctorate in computational physics.

I only recently learned of Shane's existence; my adoptive father told me of him as he lay dying (Mom passed away four years ago). He told me of this website and told me that it would be best if my twin brother never knew of my existence.

Shane, I will tell you only this: I live and work in Canada and I will watch you. I will not lend you or Don money; you really should make your own way. If you wish to finish school I will arrange it and you will be given an allowance sufficient for your needs as long as you maintain an Honours average. Your mind is quite good enough to do so.

Your loving sister,
Shanetta McBride, PhD (Cambridge)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 04:55 PM

Seems you ALL knew it was me all along and were either humouring me or laughing at me. I feel such a fool and may never be able to show my face on this thread again. Farewell.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 04:18 PM

Maybe it's because you said he 'nics me bras'

That is not phraseology that would be used on this side of the pond.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 03:52 PM

It's a fair cop, guvnor (as we say in Britain). It was me all along. I am Shanetta. You really are a super sleuth Shane, absolutely brilliant detective work. How could you tell Shanetta sounded English - it's not that you can here me speaking or anything? The story begins when my cookie went down and I became GUEST. Before reigniting the cookie, I thought I'd have a little fun - and I would have gotten away with it if it hadn't of been for that meddlin 'brother' of mine.

And sorry for the crudity, it took me a great deal of effort to get into the role, which I did for the art.

Farewell Shanetta, you graced our thread for a while and it seems that now you are gone forever. Hey, part of me really has left the thread forever, never to return…

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 08:07 AM

That was a low blow, "Shane," and I apologize. I should have realized that they must have made you take a bath.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 08:06 AM

Sick on St. Patrick's Day, eh? What did they do, serve you a glass of water?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 10:31 PM

She is a flippin lyer! Me and Don ain't got no sister...unlest our Dad maybe soad a few of them wild oats when he was outta town, eh? It is possible. But I ain't herd of no sister named Shanetta. Therefour I say it is a lie! She don't talk like no one from Blind River eether. She sounds like a flippin' whatever you call 'em...from England or somethin' like that. Just anuther flippin' wannabee who wishes she was in this fambly is how I see it.

Man was I sick after the St Partiricks Day party. Holy flip. I thought I was gonna die. But now I am gettin' back to abnormal...har! har!

That was a joke, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 10:09 PM

Your brother Shane must be rich as Bill Gates then, considering all the time he's done.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Shanetta
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 03:45 PM

If ya gotta ask which brother Im talkin about you don't flippin now the McBrides very well do ya Repair. There's only one McBride that nics me bras and that's Shane, me twin. he uses them to disgyse himslef to get in to the ladys changin rooms at the local gymnoseum. he usually gets caught if he forgets to shave fisrt, but not alweays hu hu.

An they don't talk abat me cos I'm the black sheep of the flippin family the near doo well. anyway iv got business to do so iaint wastin me time here with you flipface lowsers. times money.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 08:37 AM

A sister? You gotta be kiddin', a sister! Well, well, well, what next?

Suppose Shane can get any booty in Boothia? I assume they don't know him there so he might have a shot.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 07 - 02:11 PM

Ah, the Boothia Peninsula! Graveyard of those searching for the NW Passage in the 1840s! What wonders, I wonder, will you wanderings discover? The bones of Franklin, perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Mar 07 - 01:07 PM

Way to go, man. Get in there and scrub, baby, scrub! God, you are soooo lucky. A free ocean cruise in the majestic frozen north.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 18 Mar 07 - 10:46 AM

You know flippin' what? We've been rerooted to some flippin' place call Bootheel or Boothie or Boothia or something! Some flippin' bolthole has got his boat stuck and since we're the flippin' closest we get to put this flippin' idiot out of trouble! I'd like to put his out of his misery! Blind River, nothin', it don't look like I'm goin' to get to Haliflippinfax!

And it's COLD! And last night the flippin' cook served flippin' cabbage and bean burritos! The heads flippin STINK and I gotta clean 'em up!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 18 Mar 07 - 07:01 AM

Good news, there seems to be no conspiracy against me after all! It was as you said Rapaire, just an expired cookie. I overreacted and formed what seemed to be the most obvious conclusion. Easy mistake to make. I am back in the fold. By the way I didn't know Don and Shane had a sister, why would they keep it quiet?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 09:34 PM

OMIGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't say that, please. I have to sleep tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 09:15 PM

Watermelons....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 08:48 PM

Or two tangerines...depending on the size of the bra.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 08:36 PM

Maybe he needs a carrier so he can get two grapefruit home from the store. I figger that's what he'd think it was for.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 06:32 PM

Such disrespect! My, my. Shane is going to be very ticked off. I wonder what's up with that boy?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 06:04 PM

1. FFP, your cookie probably expired. Re-login and all will be well.

2. Shanetta, you'd better be precise. WHICH one are you looking for? Has Don gone in for cross-dressing? Or is it the other one, and if so, which one? Well, wait, one's on an icebreaker so it must be the other one; if it's him he probably just wants to make a double-barreled slingshot.

Or finlly exam one up close and this is the only chance he's had....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Shanetta
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 05:20 PM

Has anyone seen that low down flippin brother of mine? He's nicked me best bra. If you see him, tell him I'll flippin kill him.

Best wishes

Shanetta

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,FFP
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 05:11 PM

Oh, .... Oh, well done Rapaire, congratulations, 1500 eh?

It seems i am now just 'GUEST'. Is there a conspiracy at work? Is everyone plotting to get rid of me? Does Jo Offer want me out?

IW FFP

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 05:00 PM

1500!!!! It's me! i'll go down in thread history. This is the most important moment of my life. Thanks to all my friends who helped me get to this place.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:11 PM

1500 just for the hell of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:11 PM

grab

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:11 PM

I'll

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:10 PM

Oh,

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 10:41 AM

It's not for the weak of heart, I can tell you that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:58 PM

Wow. That is downright terrifying.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:39 PM

Worse. Far, far worse. Worse even than Idaho, where at least we have the Legion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:18 PM

Is it as bad as Nevada?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:13 PM

Yes, but KB is in Iowa and that simply cannot be said to be "living." (I know, I've been to Iowa many times and got out alive.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 04:57 PM

Does it have to have a good acronym? Is that what people want these days? No acronym but this could be catchy: "Feel the Jive on the 85 Live". We might have to drop the billion though, would that matter?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 03:22 PM

That doesn't have a good acronym.

I was thinking about acronyms for the Two Shanes.

Shanes Have It Together

and another one (it was better, too) that I don't remember now, maybe I will post it later if it comes back to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 03:15 PM

So here's the idea. We get Jo Offer to rename the thread the 'All New 85 Billion Thread'? Whadya say?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 03:13 PM

Yeah, from time to time I've wondered how he was doing myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 03:08 PM

Perfect. Hey, it's great to see Wonder Warthog! I Hadn't seen him in many years.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 03:05 PM

Well! The Mudcat gremlins ate my response, which was "I called him SuperHoser In Toronto because that was all I could think of to get the correct acronym."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 02:24 PM

I imagine him something like this

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 01:44 PM

NOTHING can contain SuperHoser! He's unstoppable, incomprehensible, unaccountable, and insufferable!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:36 AM

So is SuperHoser in Toronto because Blind River can't contain him in all his glory?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:30 AM

Look! Up in the sky! It's...wait, no, don't look! It's SuperHoser In Toronto and he's had WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much beer!

I told you not to look. And you should have carried an umbrella.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 09:27 PM

Yeah, eh? Just the sort of challenge the Toronto cops need on a dull day. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 08:12 PM

Wow! A whole new adventure series: SuperHoser In Toronto!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 04:46 PM

They might meld together in a tremendous flash of light and emerge as...Superhoser!!! Able to chug an entire truckload of Canadian beer in a single gulp! Able to offend uncountable numbers of women without hardly even trying! Able to get arrested in 10 seconds or less for petty infractions of the law that on one else was stupid enough to even think of doing!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 03:12 PM

Or would they destroy each other, like a positron and an electron?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 12:50 PM

I had wondered about a possible "Sybil" thing going on with Shane. If it is true it brings up a question about what will happen if the "Two Shanes" were to meet up, will 'they' have to drink twice as much before 'they' pass out?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 08:51 PM

Has anyone considered that there is only one Shane, but he is psychologically "interesting"? That he is, perhaps, a seaman in the Coast Guard or the Navy and the Blind River bit is his way of escaping from what his mind (such as it is) considers an intolerable situation? Or that he is a trapper, alone in a cabin in the upper reaches of the NWT or the Yukon, who has slipped a few cogs and actually believes that he is on a Coast Guard icebreaker and in Blind River?

It would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 08:40 PM

Hey...phony guy.... You are FLIPPED, man! Har! Har! You are goin' to get so flippin' seasick on that boat that you will wish you was flippin' Dead, eh? Meenwhiles I will be tossin' back shooters at the Iron Horse Tavern and beatin' off hot babes with a stick. And I mean a BIG stick, eh? Know'm sayin', retread? You are soooo flippin' flipped. I bet you don't even live long enuff to bend down and kiss the flippin' grownd when you finally reach Labarador. Har! Har! Clean them toilets, dipwad, cos you are gonna be prayin' at the flippin' porsellin alter! LMFAO!

- Shane

p.s. If you flippin' live...meet me in back of the Blind River Tim Horton's and I will settle yer flippin' problem once and fer all. You will know me cos I will be wearin' the hat that says...."I'M WITH THE IDIOT ->" (meanin' whoever I'm with)(I know a lot of idiiots)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 08:17 PM

I thought that you were going to suggest a way to recruit people like Shane into the Canadian Coast Guard.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 04:40 PM

Recruitment idea:

All regulars to post on another thread, encouraging a visit to the 85 billion thread. The regular (i.e. anyone who has posted here more than once) who gets the most new posters will win this newly created award: "Recruiter of the Month". They will then be able to officially put RM after their name for the following month. Nb. Any new poster must say "xxxxx asked me to post here" or words to this effect to avoid fights over who recruited them. This will be a short month but who cares. We can start now.

I have noticed from past experience that everyone (well almost everyone) ignores my good ideas and want you to know that I find this very hurtful. Once I nearly left over it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:42 AM

Only I ain't in flippin' Amersterflippindam OR Haliflippinfax! I'm on flippin' BOAT! A flippin' ICEBREAKER on the way to flippin' LABRADOR! And the Coast Gard is makin' me WORK my way back to flippin' CANADA!

There I am, boarding the boat, lookin' for the flippin' bar, and this woman comes up. And she, like, looks pretty good and she asks me if I need help and I say, "YEAH! I need the kinda help you acn give!" and the next thing I'm up in front of this other woman, only she's got, like, lots of gold stripes. And it turns out that I'm flippin' SUPERCARGO and I gotta work my way back to Canada CLEANING TOILETS for these boltholes and there is NO BEER and NO DOPE on board! and they call the toilets "heads" and so I'm the Head Head Cleaner and everybody FLIPPIN' LAFF AT ME!

You just wait til I get back to Blind River! I gotta git off this right now becuase I can only use it for so much time each day. Its worse than the flippin' public liberry!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 08:19 AM

I want to be there when the two of them get together. Whatever direction the encounter takes it is guaranteed to be entertaining. Just watching them pass out side by side would be worth the price of admission (assuming the tickets are free), and if they were to blow chunks first, whoo doggee, grab an umbrella!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 07:51 AM

This could be interesting. "Shane" battling "Shane," the battle of the century. No holds barred.

"Laideez and Gennilmin! In this corner, quivering and whimpering from fear, SHANE MCBRIDE! And in this corner, posturing but knees trembling, his opponent, SHANE MCBRIDE! Both have threatened to totally destroy each other, to rip each other to...what's this? They each have beer! They're drinking together! I've never seen so much beer poured down two throats to fast! Laideez and Gennilmen, they've both passed out cold! At the same time! The Referee is counting them BOTH out! This fight is OVER!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 05:42 PM

EAT ME you flippin' corkpuller!!!!!!!!!!!! If you are dumb enuff to show up anywheres around here you are even dummer than I think! I will flippin' mortalize you, you bolthole! Go back to the flippin' monks, idiot-boy!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 04:40 PM

It didn't occur to me that Rapaire would be talking about BDRiBR being angry because he has been angry a lot lately. He didn't used to be angry so often, he must be out of money for booze. Or maybe, there really is only one and he really is PO'ed about an imposter. I get so confused, and I was just starting to feel like I had this figured out. Back to the drawing board.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 04:20 PM

I think Rapaire was referring to BDiBR KB. I'm always happy me. You're right about our GUESTS - none have become regulars of late. You know what we need don't you? A recruitment campaign! Suggestions via post c/o the 85 Billion thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 03:54 PM

He'll be OK. Besides, he's right, if you want stories, we got 'em.


I just wish some of our GUEST's would come back. There have been quite a few drop by to say hello and then they drift back into the shadows.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 03:33 PM

Chap sounds a bit angry, no?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 11:35 AM

It would seem that the best stories are to be found on the 85 Billion thread KB.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 08:23 AM

So Shane(?), when is your flight due in? I want to be there for that.

IWTATBM, heard any good stories lately?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 08:20 AM

Listen, you flippin' stink covered scum ball, when I get back the Blind River you are gonna wihs you were never born! I'm going to pull off your flippin' arms and legs and make you EAT them, you idenity theif! And you stay away from my beer and my stash, too! So you better go get some barbque sause 'cause I got tickets back to CANADA! from the Consulate! and when I get back to flippin' Blind River from flippin' Halifax you're going to PAY, bolthole!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 08:10 PM

So, "Shane"...what did you win?

By the way, Colonel-General Smyte-Withers has contacted the Ontario Provincial Police about you. Man, she is pissed off!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 06:44 PM

The flipface who is pretendin' to be me must be a toatal idiot, eh? Who esel would go to be a fillpin' Trappist monk??? I flippin' ASK you? Who would? There aint' a dog in this town dumb enuff to do that, let alone a flippin' human bein who would be such a total flippin' idiot!

Monks don't have much fun. They only get to drink alter wine and they hardly ever get any sex...well, leastways not with WOMEN anyways, eh?!!! Know'm sayin'? Bing! Got my flippin' drift on that one?

and they hafta where them stoopid flippin' robes all the time! Wow, talk about bad faschen sense, eh? Pa-flippin'-THET-ic is what I call it.

The retread who says he is me is a flippin' liar! I bet he aint' in Dutchland at all, eh? I bet he is not too far away. Maybe he is in Wawa becoz Wawa is fulla retreads and idiots. There are a lotta guys in Wawa who have herad of me and they all wish they WAS me, eh? Ya know why? Becoz I am cool and I am the flippin' champ when it comes to drinkin', smokin' dope,and gettin' the good lookin' babes every time! That is why they all want to be me.

This diphead has got a bad case of green thumb for Shane McBride envy. That's all their is to it. He is just anuther loozer who wishes he was a winner....like me.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 03:00 PM

Hey Shane, are you sure you are in Holland and not in Vancouver?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 02:28 PM

Would one of you flippin' boltholes give me some flippin' ADVISE? I don't want to be a mokn anymore. I flippin' DID that and it sucked. How do I get out of Amsterflippindam? They won't give me anymore cridet down at the flippin' bars!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 01:42 PM

I won't be around this evening as I'm going to a 'storytelling cafe'. Do they have these where you are?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 12:19 PM

What we need is an internet version of "To Tell the Truth"

Did that show air anywhere but the USA?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 08:37 AM

Hmmm. Well, that certainly sounds like Shane. I'm puzzled by the whole situation. The guy in Blind River sounds like Shane too.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 08:22 AM

That's ME, you flippin' bolthole! And I'm flippin' stuck in flippin' Amsterflippindam and some guy is pretending to be me so he can, you know, sponge off my brother Don and drink my beer. I gotta get back to Ontario! This place is starting to suck, especially since I don't have any flippin' money! I went to the Canadian Consulate and you know what they said? They said that their flippin' records showed I was a Trappist monk! I told them I wasn't doing that anymore and they asked for my passport! I told them that the Trappists still had it and they said that meant I was still a flippin' monk!

When I get back somebody's going to flippin' PAY!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 12:29 PM

Did we ever solve which was the 'real' Shane - you know, the one that really exists and really lives in Blind River, breathes real air and all that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 04:50 PM

Well, he'd best get on with it. She wasn't this pissed off when Geezer George dropped a lit cigar into the Fourth-of-July fireworks collection and blew up the emergency six months' booze supply.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 03:42 PM

Shane has a talent for pissing people off. You could say that he is an expert at that, in fact. He still carries a lot of respect for Officer Dana, though, so I'm thinking he may have a change of heart in awhile.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 03:28 PM

If Officer Dana put in a good word for him he oughta take it to heart. The C-G is almighty pissed off with him right now and is quite in the mood to order Something Drastic To Be Done. Hopefully, tonight she'll have enough booze and find some handsome young stud at the dance they're having at the Hovel so that she'll forget about "the insult to the Legion by this mealy-mouthed, wet-behind-the-ears, lily-livered, white-feather, Budweiser-sucking, screw-up from wherever-the-hell-it-is he's from."

I mean, she is ALMIGHTY pissed off!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 01:53 PM

Not a bad idea. Shane is a natural for YouTube, because they cater to idiots, morons, and obnoxious goofs who seek attention from the world in general. I think if he ever takes the YouTube plunge that he will become a worldwide internet sensation. This could be Shane's fast track to a lucrative career. He could become a legend in his own time.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 01:34 PM

Maybe he could put something on Youtube. More people would see it there than on TV anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 01:30 PM

Shane has been in a foul mood, swearing about the Idaho Legion. He's been all over town showing the test to people, but no one is interested. I don't know if he will consent to take it again. He might. We'll have to wait and see. He was unable to get the local press or TV to do a story about it for some reason...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 12:39 PM

I've been in training (informally) for a long time. Not sure I have the stamina I used to but, then again, I never did. Maybe I ought to head up to Blind River, this is one time where Shane's expertise might actually be helpful.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 12:33 PM

Yeah, well, now the training starts. Are you sure you can drink that much beer?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 09:29 AM

Please do take the test, it's fun! Having been recently accepted for membership myself, I can tell you it is a life-changing event.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 09:19 AM

Take the test, and if you pass you could start the South African branch of the Idaho Legion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 09:15 AM

Welcome GUEST,Natalie from South Africa. Don't be a stranger (it would be hard to be any stranger than Shane anyway), we always welcome a new face.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Natalie
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 05:42 AM

Hey from South Africa :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Colonel-General Smyte-Withers, Helena B.
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 06:06 PM

Awright, Shane. You're a goddamn little punk, not worth the dirt under the fingernails of a real man. You can't hold your liquor and I'm told by our Canadian brothers and sisters that women run from you, not because of your looks but because of your breath and body odour. I've seen your kind before, BOY: you're a self-centered drunk punk with no self-discipline, a petty thief, and a general leech on society. Back in the Corps you wouldn't last ten minutes because everybody would shoot you to save themselves.

You're a worm, a maggot feeding on the work of your betters. But because I have been asked to do so by Officer Dana, you may take the test again. I've told her she's wrong, but she something in you that might, might be salvageable.

KB, you're in.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 03:07 PM

Flip! Now that Shane posted his answers nobody will read mine and I spent almost five minutes on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 02:42 PM

Holy FLip! About flippin time, eh?

Okay...ummm...

NAME:


Shane McBride


REAL NAME:


I told ya, flipface!!! SHANE MCBRIDE

Awright... Shane Alistair McBride

Geez....I hate revealin' my middle name, eh? People might laff.


YOUR NAME IN THE STATES:


Shane McBride! What the flip do you think?!


Not that it matters, but do you live in Idaho?    Yes      No    Maybe


NO I don't flippin' lvie in Idaho. Bite me.


Sex:   Male    Female   Other   None   Unsure    Yes, please   No, not now


Definitely male. Totally. Male.


Circle Last Educational Level Attempted:


I been studyin' Don Cherry's phyllosoffy of life. If you mean school, it was grade 10.


Grade School   High School   College   Grad School   More   Less   None


I told ya, grade 10.


1. You are in charge of a platoon which has been ordered to attack a hill defended by ten thousand people who are armed with everything you can imagine and then some. You have 40 people. What do you do?



A. Carry out the mission no matter the costs!



B. Take a vote on what to do.



C. Flip a coin: heads we go for beer, tails we take a nap.



D. Tell the guy who told you to do this dumb thing to go &%$! him or her
self.


C and D. Specially D!


2. Reference: US Rifle, Caliber .30, M-1: What is the name of that little pin that holds the forked rod that goes into the spring? The pin that you're always dropping and without which your M-1 won't work? Do you know? If you do, will you please tell me?


What???? Flipped if I know.


3. What is the maximum rate of fire for the Musket, caliber .69, "Brown
Bess" Model 2? Why should you care? Nobody uses flintlocks
anymore anyway.


I don't flippin' care.


4. Explain yourself. Try to be coherent.


Okay. I am, like, a majorly cool dude who is single, handsome, and good lookin'. I am hung like a moose. I can drink like a flippin' muskie, and flip like a flippin' mad dog. Most people think I am what they wish they could be. I have one brother. He is a jerk, but he makes some money which is good cos we need money. His name is Don. I live in Blind River. Blind River is the culcheral capital of North Ontario and I am its most coolest dude.


5. How would YOU go about putting the Budweiser back in
Clydesdales?


By makin' the Clydesdales an offer they can't flippin' refuse!


6. Can you sing? Should we let you do so? Why?


Yeah... I will sing if you give me free beers and smokes.



7. You've drunk 3 glasses of Devil's Piss, 6 Pink Panty Droppers, and a Purple Jesus or two or three or more. What will you drink next?


Whatever is flippin' available.


8. Physical Examination: Can you pat your head, rub your tummy, and
play the bagpipes, all at the same time?


What?????????????? I...you must be flippin' jokin', right? No!


9. If a locomotive leaves point A at precisely 1317 hours and travels
towards point B at 124 kph, and a second train leaves point B at 1333
hours and travels towards point A at 89 kph, what shithead should be
blamed for putting them on the same track?


Ummmm....ah....okay, I think it should be...

George Bush, eh? Blame him. Flippin' A.


10. Do you speak a language other than English? If so, what? Now
translate the following:


Yeah, I know some dirty words and stuff in French.


    Mert lofrát tinglû, Mers Fluggan. Dejit nørcamt en enciente y camino
Ưstanŋų ber þyatnö finger locamisso Ægonicus nostros. Amen.


That means...uhh... Okay. It means... It means that the shitrat lofts a tingle at Mrs Fluggan, but...she...ummm...

Wait.

It means...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FLIP IT MEANS! GO FLIP YOURSELF! THIS IS A STUPID FLIPPIN' TEST AND ONLY A FLIPPIN' MORON WOULD EVEN TRY TO FINISH IT. I WASTED 20 FLIPPIN' MINUTES ON THIS DUMB TEST BECOZ OF YOU.


This is the end of the test. Turn in your paper. Do not discuss this test with
your classmates, friends, or enemies, or else.

Yeah? FLIP YOU! I am gonna tell everyone I know about this test. I am gonna call the papers about it. I am gonna get a TV crew down here to film it if I can. Ya hear THAT???

Like I said, flip YOU! Who needs the Idaho Flippin' Legion anyways? Not me. I'm doin' fine on my own.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 02:08 PM

NAME: Puddin' Tame

REAL NAME: The same

YOUR NAME IN THE STATES: censored

Not that it matters, but do you live in Idaho?    Yes      No    Maybe

Sex:   Male    Female   Other   None   Unsure    Yes, please   No, not now

N/A

Circle Last Educational Level Attempted:

Grade School   High School   College   Grad School   More   Less   None

1. You are in charge of a platoon which has been ordered to attack a hill defended by ten thousand people who are armed with everything you can imagine and then some. You have 40 people. What do you do?

A. Carry out the mission no matter the costs!

B. Take a vote on what to do.

C. Flip a coin: heads we go for beer, tails we take a nap. (as long as I get to use my coin)

D. Tell the guy who told you to do this dumb thing to go &%$! him or herself.

2. Reference: US Rifle, Caliber .30, M-1: What is the name of that little pin that holds the forked rod that goes into the spring? The pin that you're always dropping and without which your M-1 won't work? Do you know? If you do, will you please tell me?

Doohicky

3. What is the maximum rate of fire for the Musket, caliber .69, "Brown Bess" Model 2? Why should you care? Nobody uses flintlocks anymore anyway.

42

4. Explain yourself. Try to be coherent.

Anyone who really allows any personal irritation to alienate them from supporting the right of everyone to be seen to be given a fair crack - does not really understand how hard the struggle to ensure this has always had to be.

And I fear that they will only have themselves to blame when they wake up to find they have not only had this right taken away from them - but will have played an active role in this.

5. How would YOU go about putting the Budweiser back in Clydesdales?

Send him to school.

6. Can you sing? Should we let you do so? Why?

No. Yes. Because.

7. You've drunk 3 glasses of Devil's Piss, 6 Pink Panty Droppers, and a Purple Jesus or two or three or more. What will you drink next?

Molson's

8. Physical Examination: Can you pat your head, rub your tummy, and
play the bagpipes, all at the same time?

My bagpipes were stolen.

9. If a locomotive leaves point A at precisely 1317 hours and travels towards point B at 124 kph, and a second train leaves point B at 1333 hours and travels towards point A at 89 kph, what shithead should be blamed for putting them on the same track?

Train kept a-rollin' all night long
With a "heave!", and a "ho!"
But I just couldn't tell her so

10. Do you speak a language other than English? If so, what? Now translate the following:

No. Akkadian

    Mert lofrát tinglû, Mers Fluggan. Dejit nørcamt en enciente y camino Ưstanŋų ber þyatnö finger locamisso Ægonicus nostros. Amen.

"My hovercraft is full of eels."

______________________________________________________________________

I'd like to thank you on behalf of the group and ourselves and I hope we passed the audition.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 10:07 PM

Good Lord, she did it!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Colonel-General Smyte-Withers, Helena B.
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 09:39 PM

You buncha clowns thing you can be in MY Legion, huh? Well, maggots, here's the deal, so lissen up! You gotta pass this test. Send your results to your representative in your national assembly; it will be forwarded to me.

So, you wanna join the legion?

The Test

Complete this test completely. Do not lie, fudge, fib, or try to wriggle out of the correct answer. You will be penalized for each incorrect answer and possibly for each correct one as well. Do not use diagrams. Do not complete the test by using crayons, pencil, a brush, or anything besides a ballpoint pen that produces dark blue or dark black ink. Answers which cannot be read because of smeared ink, alcohol stains, or anything else will
be counted as wrong. You have 20 minutes to finish and then The Test will self-destruct, probably taking you with it. Begin whenever you feel like it. Be precise and answer everything fully.

NAME:

REAL NAME:

YOUR NAME IN THE STATES:

Not that it matters, but do you live in Idaho?    Yes      No    Maybe

Sex:   Male    Female   Other   None   Unsure    Yes, please   No, not now

Circle Last Educational Level Attempted:

Grade School   High School   College   Grad School   More   Less   None

1. You are in charge of a platoon which has been ordered to attack a hill defended by ten thousand people who are armed with everything you can imagine and then some. You have 40 people. What do you do?

A. Carry out the mission no matter the costs!

B. Take a vote on what to do.

C. Flip a coin: heads we go for beer, tails we take a nap.

D. Tell the guy who told you to do this dumb thing to go &%$! him or her
self.

2. Reference: US Rifle, Caliber .30, M-1: What is the name of that little pin that holds the forked rod that goes into the spring? The pin that you’re always dropping and without which your M-1 won’t work? Do you know? If you do, will you please tell me?

3. What is the maximum rate of fire for the Musket, caliber .69, “Brown
Bess” Model 2? Why should you care? Nobody uses flintlocks
anymore anyway.

4. Explain yourself. Try to be coherent.

5. How would YOU go about putting the Budweiser back in
Clydesdales?

6. Can you sing? Should we let you do so? Why?

7. You’ve drunk 3 glasses of Devil’s Piss, 6 Pink Panty Droppers, and a Purple Jesus or two or three or more. What will you drink next?

8. Physical Examination: Can you pat your head, rub your tummy, and
play the bagpipes, all at the same time?

9. If a locomotive leaves point A at precisely 1317 hours and travels
towards point B at 124 kph, and a second train leaves point B at 1333
hours and travels towards point A at 89 kph, what shithead should be
blamed for putting them on the same track?

10. Do you speak a language other than English? If so, what? Now
translate the following:

     Mert lofrát tinglû, Mers Fluggan. Dejit nørcamt en enciente y camino
Ưstanŋų ber þyatnö finger locamisso Ægonicus nostros. Amen.

This is the end of the test. Turn in your paper. Do not discuss this test with
your classmates, friends, or enemies, or else.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 04:48 PM

Is the question about sex a yes/no or are details requested?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 04:34 PM

Actually, I just spoke with her on the phone. It's mid-week, so she'll be sober and, ah, "awake" until Friday afternoon. She'll be posting The Test, she said, tonight or tomorrow "whichever comes first."

You'll all be pleased to know that a physical examination is NO LONGER required and the Legion will now take your word about your sex. If it is found later that you lied about this, you will not be punished.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 03:28 PM

So is the Colonel-General out of bed yet, or is it still too hard?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 12:44 PM

First, she has to sober up.
Second, she has to conquer the hangover.
Third, you gotta get her out off bed...and how hard that it depends upon who she's with.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 09:29 AM

I'm getting a little nervous about this test. Is it knowledge based or more of a first reaction type, trying to get in our heads? I'm not sure I want anyone else to know too much about what goes on in my head. I don't really like knowing too much about what goes on in my head (not that there is very much going on anyway, but still).

I do hope the Colonel-General feels better soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 06:18 PM

I am informed that Colonel-General Smythe-Withers, Number One Head Honcho of the Idaho Legion is currently recovering from a massive headache and stomach upset brought about by the inordinate consumption of ethanol-based beverages. She regrets her inability to post The Test at this time, but will do so as soon as she can stand the sound of a pin dropping onto the carpet fifty feet away.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 05:30 PM

The film was a bit too sugary, I'll have to take your word about the green fried tomatoes. Hey we now have a new thread within a thread thread.

"Will this thread-within-a-thread reach 1000 posts relating to the film Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe"

I wonder if this is the first thread within a thread Mudcat has had? If so it's another first for the 85 billion thread. (9)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 03:47 PM

Sweet? Fried Green Tomatoes (which I have eaten, as you may recall) are not sweet in the least. (8)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 03:40 PM

That's good - but don't expect too much from it, it was a touch sweet for my taste generally. However you may want to vehemently disagree with me after seeing it? (7)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 03:33 PM

I could a copy on hold. 6

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 03:29 PM

Well this post makes 5 but I won't be happy until we've reached 1000 posts relating to the film.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 03:21 PM

Drat! They have two copies but both are checked out. On a positive note, that makes four so now we are only 996 posts shy of a load.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 03:18 PM

We just got three of them back so guess we are now only down 997. It's a start. I will check if our local library has it, back in a sec.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 03:11 PM

I sort of enjoyed the film, if you know what I mean. I think at the time of the great Green Tomato Controversy I requested everyone to watch the film so that we could have a heated discussion about it after. Unfortunately everyone ignored me, costing us a potential 1000 posts by my estimate.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 02:58 PM

Not really my recommendation though I did mention it during the "great tomato imbroglio." Haven't seen it myself. Did you enjoy the film.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 02:53 PM

Haven't tried green tomatoes yet but did watch the film, on your recommendation I think KB.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 02:20 PM

Getting high and mighty on us now? Don't forget, IWTATBM (recently) FFP, I knew you you when. Next thing you know old IWTATBM is gonna be eatin' green tomatoes, and likin' 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 02:10 PM

Anyone know which one of the first 50 posters has been deleted? What's going on? Something's afoot. BDiBR this is your thread; I demand (as one of the first 50 posters on this thread) that you make it your life's work to flippin well find out. Can you contact Jo Offer, he should know?

Best wishes

IWTATBM FFP

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 10:08 AM

I haven't had Post Toasties in a long time. Now I'm hungry.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 09:01 PM

As I posted before my post was toasted, I've notified the Commandant Colonel-General In Command of the Idaho Legion of the desire of some to take The Test. Since this has never before been given over the World Wide Web, she has to give it some thought. She will be posting here in the very near future with her answer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 04:05 PM

Hey, what the FLIP is this? You're going to let ahtt flippin' IMPOSTER in this Legion deal? While I'm stuck here in flippin' Amsterdam, bumming smokes from people who don't speak any flippin' language I ever heard of?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 03:24 PM

Check it out. There you are, at the bottom of the first page (ostensibly post #50), bemoaning the fact that you were not in the first 50. But now you are!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 03:01 PM

Am I now one of the first 50 posters? Did I understand this right? This IS news.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 02:28 PM

You would be personally responsible for protecting Canada, or at least Blind River, from attack. Usually the attacks come either from the Martians or the Canadians. You also have to be ready at all time to rescue beautiful women from Fates Worse Than Death and/or ride to the rescue of other Legionaires (there aren't any in Canada at the moment) or Bee-Dubya-Ell, whichever comes first.

Holy Flip! I can do this, eh? Speshally the part about rescuin' the women.

The dues are subsidised, so it wouldn't cost you anything.

Flippin' A!!!

Let me know if you want to apply for membership and take The Membership Test.

I am ready, man! I can do this. Idaho Legion here I come!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 02:15 PM

I always keep my powder dry.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 01:57 PM

Yeah. Just makes me want to sit right down, put a pistolo to my head, and end it all right now... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 01:17 PM

Whew! That reads just like some of the important things I see at my place of employ. I recently ran across this sentence in a press release (it was on the web so I assume it is not propietary information).

"There is momentum behind our digital revenues driven by a widening range of innovative online information products, increasingly embedded in customer workflows."

Isn't that inspiring?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 12:25 PM

Here's a PDF brochure.

It's not fancy, but then neither is the Legion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 09:35 AM

Sounds like quite the organization you have there. Since Iowa is often confused with Idaho (Ohio, too) I'm thinking this might be good fit for me as well. Any chance I would be considered? Is there a free brochure?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 09:00 AM

Shane, even YOU could become a member of the Idaho Legion and share in the free booze and smokes (of all sorts). You'd have to pass The Test, but it's not very hard. Being Canadian and hence not a "true-blue All-American citizen of the United States of America" you wouldn't have voting privileges, but the last vote was taken in 1953 and nobody was sober enough to vote so the issue was tabled and never brought up again (the issue was "Should we forgive the Canadians for Molsons or not?").

You would be personally responsible for protecting Canada, or at least Blind River, from attack. Usually the attacks come either from the Martians or the Canadians. You also have to be ready at all time to rescue beautiful women from Fates Worse Than Death and/or ride to the rescue of other Legionaires (there aren't any in Canada at the moment) or Bee-Dubya-Ell, whichever comes first.

The dues are subsidised, so it wouldn't cost you anything.

Let me know if you want to apply for membership and take The Membership Test.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 11:23 PM

No kiddin' eh, Rapaire? Booze and otehr necisitties. Right flippin' ON! That is exactly what I would flippin' do if someone sent me money, eh? Maybe youse guys arent' as stoopid as I thought you was.

The guy in Dutchland lies like a rug! Don't send money to him. He is not me. Send money to Blind River, care of "Shane McBride". I need booze and smokes bad and Don has been hidin' his wallet from me again.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 09:10 PM

It's all a plot by the AntiIdaho Legion, or AIL, to poison young minds, corrupt young bodies, undermine our principles, overthrow the ruling class, suborn our juries, bribe our witnesses, destroy our military capabilities, rot our charitable enterprises, sing off-key, and play out of tune.

The only thing standing firm against this Chaos is the Idaho Legion. The Legionaires and Legionettes hold fast, but need your help.

Send money. They'll only spend it on booze and other necessities.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 05:11 PM

If the current count holds IWTATBM is now one of the first 50 (or at least seems to be). Can a first 50 be retro-active if it wasn't a first 50 when posted? Our future-selves' lawyers may make the Anna Nicole Smith wrangles look like childs play with this one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 05:07 PM

It seems one of the first 100 posts has been deleted. All the x00 posts are now (x-1)99. Is there some international intrigue at work here? And I just ran out of tinfoil, blast!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 05:01 PM

Is this 1400 now? What happened?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 04:39 PM

Threeche?? Or do I mean 14oo ???

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 04:21 PM

touché

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 04:01 PM

Couldn't we just "go Dutch"?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 02:44 PM

The Two Shanes issue rears its head again i see.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 09:36 AM

Sounds like a problem Shane would have, all right. Maybe we should all chip in and buy the lad a ticket home.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 09:31 AM

Flipp9in' Amsterflippindam. You can smoke a little here and see girls and drink good beer but you know what? They got flippin' COPS! I had a little beer and stuff and was goin' to see this blond only I acidenly like fell against this guy and sort of acidntly hit him in the flippin' eye with my fist! I swear it was a flippin' accident!

Anyway, he was a flippin' COP! And he put me in flippin' JAIL! I missed my flippin' flight back to Canada!

I'm here in Amsterflippindam. I just got out of gail. My ticket home ain't any good. I only got about ten dollars. And everybody here speaks dutch or french or some other foriegn flippin' language!

HOLY FLIP, MAN! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FLIP TO DO!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 05:25 PM

We generally don't see any flowers at all until the middle of July, usually July 17, between 3:35 and 3:37 p.m.

Then they're Johnny-Jump-Ups. Pop! and they're up; SLURP! and they're gone and it's winter agains.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 09:16 AM

Any flowers that came up here are regretting it about now.
We don't normally see any until middle March. Daffodils and tulips come up first and they can handle a bit of cold. We may get another round of frezzing stuff starting tomorrow. Oh, well, I'll stop at the store tonight and stock up on provisions.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 05:09 PM

I wankered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er hill and dale
When suddenly I saw a crowd
A host of golden daffodils.

And if they were around here they were all friz up solid.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 03:51 PM

Glad to hear you escaped the worse effects of the weather. Over here it's quite calm really. We had a bit of snow the week before last and the whole country ground to a halt. The daffodils are pushing through and spring is showing signs of its arrival. This probaly means there'll be snow and gales next week. Still, makes a change from the rain.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 03:33 PM

Fine here, how about you?

We had a terrific ice storm in this area over the weekend. Lots of people are still without power. I drove past several downed lines on my way to work this morning (I drive about 20 miles or 33 kilometers). Many tree limbs on the ground as well. One entire tree toppled onto a house I drive by, can't tell how much damage was done. My town got off easy, power out for about three hours Saturday night. The ice was almost half an inch (1.25 centimeters) thick Saturday evening. It was really pretty on the tree branches. It warmed up a bit over night and the ice had melted off the branches by Sunday morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 03:30 PM

È oggi molto calmo

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 02:26 PM

Everyone OK?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 09:39 PM

I'll bet he really got off on the leg irons!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 09:24 PM

Shane had the hots for a cop once. He said the gun scared him but the handcuffs got him all excited.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 09:22 PM

"Sticks and stones may break my bones....




































But whips and chains excite me."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 07:51 PM

Rat barf? Wow, cool. Like, only a true-to-life hoser would try to use that as an expletive.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 06:35 PM

I have met flippin' DOGS that had more class then you, man. You suck. You are rat barf.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 04:52 PM

Shane's primary tactic is to kick you in the shins when you're bent over, retching from the odor.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 04:50 PM

Of course Shane fights dirty. Shane also eats, sleeps, drinks, cooks, and in general lives dirty because the only time Shane has anything remotely like a bath or shower is if he falls into a running gutter or standing mud puddle or gets caught out in the rain (or both).

I'm not worried. Anyone in this picture could best Shane McBride with both arms tied behind them.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 04:00 PM

Seems things have finally quietened down on the Shane front. I think that the Amsterdam Shane is a mystery that will never be solved. Perhaps he was genuine, a Shane in a parallel universe that connected with ours for a brief period of time. They might be near the 85 billon mark already - if only Amsterdam Shane had looked at the number of posts he would have realised that in our dimension we still have a way to go. I wonder if KB was the first Poster of the Year on that thread? I wonder if I did in fact finally quit the 85 billion thread forever? Perhaps we'll never know. We must ask him should there ever be another temporal shift, if that's the right term. Sigh.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 09:30 AM

You look pretty buff in that picture Rapaire. If I was Shane I would think twice about coming out your way. Shane probably fights dirty though, so maybe it wouldn't be quite the mis-match it would at first appear.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 05:29 PM

I got to thinking that I should get in touch with my roots, remember the good times and all that. Anyway, I started reading this thread from the beginning. I got up to post #417 and then my eyeballs exploded. I should be OK by tomorrow.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 12:05 PM

I didn't want anyone to know about my "other" career, dang it!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 10:18 AM

Quinn the Eskimo

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 05:26 PM

I'm Quinn --

Ev'rybody's building the big ships and the boats,
Some are building monuments,
Others, jotting down notes,
Ev'rybody's in despair,
Ev'ry girl and boy
But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here,
Ev'rybody's gonna jump for joy.
Come all without, come all within,
You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn.

I like to do just like the rest, I like my sugar sweet,
But guarding fumes and making haste,
It ain't my cup of meat.
Ev'rybody's 'neath the trees,
Feeding pigeons on a limb
But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here,
All the pigeons gonna run to him.
Come all without, come all within,
You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn.

A cat's meow and a cow's moo, I can recite 'em all,
Just tell me where it hurts yuh, honey,
And I'll tell you who to call.
Nobody can get no sleep,
There's someone on ev'ryone's toes
But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here,
Ev'rybody's gonna wanna doze.
Come all without, come all within,
You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 05:20 PM

I am the egg man.....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 05:00 PM

I am he as you are he as you are me
and we are all together

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 04:29 PM

KB's message of 20 Feb 07 - 03:31 PM never posted and so I know nothing of his/her attempts to post a message prior to 20 Feb 07 - 03:31 PM.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 03:53 PM

Good on you for sticking at it KB, you're one of our thread's troopers.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 03:31 PM

I tried to post here twice in the last half hour but when I hit Submit Message ..... nothing

Will the third time be the charm? IF you are reading this then the answer is an emphatic YES! If not I will be the only one to know. Unless I bring it up again later, which I just might. Enough dilly dallying, time to give the old college try. I just have to limber up my wrist ... OK here goes. (It better work after all this, if this just vanishes into the mist after I spent so much time and effort there will be h*ll to pay.) Drum roll please, OK now

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 03:11 PM

things

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 04:23 PM

You want to see three guys who are a lot like Shane? The main difference is, these three guys have actually more or less mastered playing their respective musical instruments and being in a rock band. In their hairstyles, lifestyles, and general attitudes, however, they are really a lot like Shane. Their relations with women, for example, are very reminiscent of Shane. Their day to day personal challenges and problems are similar to his too...

What Shane would do if he could get past playing "air guitar"....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 04:03 PM

That Cooter guy is sorta creepy.

Obviously American and not the sort that I picture Shane hanging around with.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 03:51 PM

Wow. Quite a lineup of rednecks there, but they're clearly Americans. None of them look much like Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 02:30 PM

Save the Two Shanes One: let this be our battle cry.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 01:21 PM

I investigated this Shane & Shane thing a bit. They are a Christian music duo! This thing is getting very complicated and rather intense.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 01:09 PM

but none of these guys apparently

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 01:02 PM

Shane & Shane

So there really are two! Curiouser and Curiouser.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 12:51 PM

you've read the thread - now buy the CD

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 12:47 PM

That makes me feel better IWTATBM. I was starting to think I was the only one around here that wasn't Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 12:29 PM

"As fer the rest of you...go FLIP youerselfs! I may not bother to flippin' come back at all. See how you can flippin' do without ME!" (Shane McBride, a recent quote)

In case you're all wondering I'm not really Shane McBride or ever have been. I was just adding to the absurdity of recent weeks. Poor old Shane's had it rough lately and I for one don't want to see him leave (for fear the ship might sink so to speak). A thread without its leader is no thread at all. Stay Shane and lead us into an uncertain future. Fellow posters, join me in the newly formed 'Stay Two Shanes' campaign. Step forward and put your case for saving our leader.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 11:46 AM

BTW, I know it's not McCain but McBride doesn't rhyme. Maybe what with this being about the (no longer) late Shane McBride I shouldn't have worried about that. Decisions, decisions.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 11:37 AM

Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCain
Had twenty-three sons, and she named them all Shane?
Well, she did. And that wasn't a smart thing to do.
You see, when she wants one, and calls out "Yoo-Hoo!
Come into the house, Shane!" she doesn't get one.
All twenty-three Shanes of hers come on the run!

This makes things quite difficult at the McCains'
As you can imagine, with so many Shanes.
And often she wishes that, when they were born,
She had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn.
And one of them Hoos-Foos. And one of them Snimm.
And one of them Hot-Shot. And one Sunny Jim.
And one of them Shadrack. And one of them Blinkey.
And one of them Stuffy. And one of them Stinkey.
Another one Putt-Putt. Another one Moon Face.
Another one Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face.
And one of them Ziggy. And one Soggy Muff.
One Buffalo Bill. And one Biffalo Buff.
And one of them Sneepy. And one Weepy Weed.
And one Paris Garters. And one Harris Tweed.
And one of them Sir Michael Carmichael Zutt.
And one of them Oliver Boliver Butt.
And one of them Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate . . . .
But she didn't do it. And now it's too late.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 02:58 PM

and the winner is..............

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 02:43 PM

Did he say "see" or "enter" the wet tee-shirt contest? I'd rather NOT see "Shane" in a wet tee-shirt.

In fact, I don't even what to think about that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 01:36 PM

Flip ME!!!! Ive had about flippin' enuff of this. I am gonna go downtown and see the wet T-shirt contest. As fer the rest of you...go FLIP youerselfs! I may not bother to flippin' come back at all. See how you can flippin' do without ME!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 12:33 PM

Everyone, I have a confession.... I am, in fact, Shane - wasn't it obvious all along? I ask you, who was 'there at the beginning'? 'I was', of course. Fooled you all, flippers.

Best wishes

Shane MacBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 11:00 AM

"Shane" (if you really are Shane McBride), if I ever visited Blind River the people would build me a palace, fill it with everything good someone could want, and elect me king.

And you know what, "Shane"? I give it all to you! Yes, I would. Because I'm a nice guy, a kind-hearted guy, who likes to find good homes for stray dogs.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 09:40 AM

Holy Flip! Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water. So how many Shane's are there now? Can't tell the players without a program.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 07:34 AM

Seems everybody is Shane McBride these days. Rapaire, I nearly quit this thread (forever) because of your 'shane'anigans. Just to clear this up, YOU were Brother Crispin Shane, but not this new 'Amsterdam Shane'? So as one mystery is solved another begins and we still have two virtually identical Shanes. I'll extend my departure date until next Sunday, but if we haven't got a clear spiritual leader by then, I'm off - and don't try and stop me.

This will be forever known as Shanegate.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 12:35 AM

You are one sick flipper Rapaire. I hope you come to a bad flippin' end and get ate by a buncha strey dogs. I figgered you was behind this. You have just about flippin' ruint my 85 billions post thread with yer stoopidity. I cannot beleeve that there cuold be a person as bent as you are that would still be walkin' around loose, eh? If you was in my town I think that people here would have took matters in there own flippin' hands years ago and tied you behind a snowmobile and drug you through the streets till you was dead.

Don't never come to Blind River, man, cos you ain't welcome here.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 11:20 PM

Well, "Shane" I guess you have seen through me. Yes, I have been Brother Crispin Fiacre and all the rest. But you see, I am NOT the person who has been posting from Amsterdam. From what I can tell, that's Don McBride's real brother, Shane McBride. You, "Shane," are a phony who is trying to grab the five thousand dollars Don has been holding for his brother -- money his brother gave him to hold for him two years ago.

Gotcha, you sniveling little puke-faced wretch!

I wish I knew who was posting now. I was gonna leave you to rot in Madagascar.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 10:28 PM

That did it, man! You just blew yer flippin' cover, eh? Whaddya mean "all my money"? Everybody flippin' KNOWS I got no flippin' money saved up you idiott! I had a good flippin' job fer awhile writin' my colem but they layed me flippin' off beror Christmans. I gess you ddin't know that, eh, flipface? Somebuddy in the head flippin' office deecided I was in "bad taste", eh? Whatta buch of loosers!

I don't kneed the job anyways cos I got a plan to score a lot of dope real soon. Enuff so's I can retyre, eh? Freedom 35, man. Taht is the plan.

Don makes the flippin' legal money here over to the auto shop. Everybody flippin' knows THAT! He is the brawn here, eh? And I am the brains. I am the man that has the flipin' brillyant ideas that will make me a legende in my own time...unl;ike some flippin' loosers I coudl name.

Go ahed and flippin' ROT over in Dutchland or whatever the flip they call it. I know you are not for reel so I know they will NOT let you into Canada. You are flipped, man! Turminally Flippped! You are histery. Face it.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:42 PM

You couldnt kick an ELEHPANT'S ass, you flippin' BOLTHOLE!

Yeah, they got legal dope and legal hookers and good beer here. If I had some mony I might NOT come back, you know? But all my money's in Blind River and if you, you flippin' FAKE, try to take it I'll KILL you! That Don had better not have spent any of it, either! I just ask him to take care of it for me, you know? I just now remebered having Don take care of my money.

I'm coming back to Blind River and fix YOU, you flippin' fake impotser bolthoel! Then I'm going to get my money from Don and come back here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:33 PM

You flippin' LESS-on! I AM SHANE! Yer the, like, flippin' imposter, eh? I dare you to flippin' come to Blind River! I will be waitin' and I will kick yer flippin' ass across town, motherflipper!!!

Hey. Did you say they got legal dope in Amsterdam? Holy flip. And lotsa hookers too? Are they legal too?

Geez.

And the beer is good, eh?

So whaddya want to come here for anyways, bolthole? Sounds to me like yer in the right flippin' place alreddy!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:21 PM

What the flip are you saiyng, you flippin' impsotor! Like, I'm SHANE MCBRIDE and my flippin' bother Don is gonnin' to have to pick me up at the ariport in Monrteal or I'll have to hitch bak to Blind River! When I get there I'm gonna find yuo and like rip yor off yur shortcake, ya know? And yuo know whtelse I foudn out? They got these, like, cafes where you can get, like, WASTED and its LEGAL! And its good stuff, to! And theres a whole part of Ammrstdam that's got, like, chicks that are alwys ready for a roll, you know, in the hey, only you got to pay them. This town is something else, you know?

--Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 05:55 PM

What the FLIP!!! The flippin' idiot who, like, stole my flippin' idenity is finally talkin' sesne. But he still thinks he is me. That is so flipped. I am gettin' confused myself, eh? Look, if that fliphead thinks Don is gonna drive to flippin' Motnreal for him he is NUTS!!! I mean totally 110% flippin' GONE! REady for the flippin' loony bin, know'm sayin? A few short of a flippin' 6 pack. I hope he realizes this and don't waste no more of my valyuble time, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 02:19 PM

Exactly, one of my favourite Python sketches. Now we've got one of our own! Though, the way things are looking, it's unlikely that I'll be around to address him as Two Shanes. Never mind, it was good while it lasted. Sniff

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLjS3gzHetA

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 02:09 PM

Sort of like Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 02:08 PM

I actually thought ex-Brother Crispin sounded more like Shane than the Shane who has been Shane. Oh, for the light to shine once again and remove this fog of uncertainty. Will day never come?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 02:06 PM

Whatever happens Shane will always be 'Two Shanes' McBride from now on in my eyes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 02:02 PM

Now there are two Shanes that both sound like Shane. Just when I suspected Brother Crispin to be the imposter he comes out with this. Now I'm more confused than ever. Will someone please explain what's going on here? In fact, if the imposter's not exposed by midnight on Sunday I'm flippin well quiting this thread forever, never to return, once and for all.

The clock's ticking.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 01:40 PM

Shanes friends seem to be sparing no expense awaiting his return.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 01:17 PM

Yeah, I guess his friends are gathering to welcome him back.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 12:08 PM

better get home quick Shane!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 12:02 PM

Unbee-flippin'-LEEV-able!

Well, here are some of Shane's buddies, waiting back in Blind River for his return, eh?

Pals of Shane McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 11:41 AM

I want one of those hats.

So Shane (if Shane you be), when you get back to Blind River do you have to go back to picking up the garbage?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:11 AM

Shane spotted in the House of Orange?
- looks like he found one of those little cafés too!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 08:57 AM

CAn you belive it? The flippin' monks thrdW me out! They didn't Lik it wehn I hlped myself to some fo the flippin' alter wne and smoked some of the weed thy gro for what teh say isrope! Flippin' abbott gave me some jeans and a tshirt and put me on a airplne and right now I'm in Amsterflippindam! I got two flippin' DAYS to wait for the flite to flippin' Monreal and I dont know how i'm going to get back to flippin' Blind River from there unless Don piciks me upin in his flippin' truck! All the people here talk flippin' dutch or somethin, too.

This SUCKS. I got better treatment when I get out of gail. Only good thing in this flippin' place is the beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 03:28 PM

Question only to be answered by the Shanes. What does fencing mean to you? Brother Crispin to answer first please.

This will sort out the imposter from the genuine article KB, never fear. We'll soon be able to sleep at night again.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 03:22 PM

"Do you know which is the faux-Shane KB?"

Sometimes I do then again, I think I don't.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 03:10 PM

(answer)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 03:09 PM

Question only to be answered by the Shanes. What does fencing mean to you? Brother Crispin to first please.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 02:54 PM

Do you know which is the faux-Shane KB? I can't work it out, they're both so convincing. Surely there must be a question we could ask that only the real Shane would be able to answer?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 02:43 PM

Rapaire certainly seems to have Shane back on his heels. Of course Shane was kind of reeling from defending his honor against faux-Shane so maybe it wasn't a fair fight, or was it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 02:36 PM

The way things are going Rapaire is going to be the next Poster of the Year. He's unstoppable. I've already moved my attention to the 2008 award. This post is just for practise.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 09:35 AM

This picture? Or do you mean this one? Or maybe this one?

Now you have THREE pictures you can have them use! Or you can!

As for the Oilers, they're a pretty decent team. Lots better than the 'Leafs. I mean, the Oilers actually win games.

Oh yeah...I've been to Toronto too. And Halifax, Vancouver, Beaver Creek, Whitehorse, Quebec, Springhill, Ottawa, and lots of other places. And I've seen both the Sunken Road and the Natchez Trace. Nice places.

Your friend,
Rapaire

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 01:32 AM

You flippin' talk like I never been outa this town, Rapaire. That majerly ticks me off, man! I been to Toronto, eh? I been to Sudbury too. And Wawa. Wawa totally sucks. Don't go there. I have seen a lot of places and I been to some places that not everyone has been to, know'm sayin'? You ever hear of "Seldom Seen Road"? I've SEEN it. I know my flippin' way around. If I decide to find you, man, you are in deep shit. Real deep. If I was you I would not come to Edmonton. You are not welcome anywheres in Canada. I am gonna write to Don Cherry and tell him what you been doin' to me and he will tell the Oilers to be lookin' fer YOU. I got yer flippin' picture right here that you posted once, so they will know you when they see you.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 09:43 PM

"Shane" -- when WILL you learn that being able to find something on a map and actually going there are different things? But if you wish to visit, be assured that we will provide you with a warm welcome in Idaho.

Oh, yes. "Shane," I'll be in Edmonton in August, if you'd like to come out.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 09:06 PM

I am not talkin' to YOU you flippin' corkpuller!!!!!!!!!!! I'm talkin' to the omposter, Crispin Faicre or whatever the flip he clals himself. If you do't n flfipping' get outta my face NOW I am gonna take serrious folippin' action! I know how to find Idaho on the map. I am not stupid, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 08:37 PM

Hey, you impostor! Shape up! Stop sniveling. You brought this on yourself by impersonating Shane McBride.

Madagascar is 8,940 miles or 14,388 km. from Toronto, okay? That's very far away. It's on the other side of Africa.

Which you probably knew before you started this impersonation, this identity theft. You probably thought, "Hey, that dude is gonna be way far away and I'll never get caught!"

Well, as Brother Crispin Fiacre, who used to be the REAL Shane McBride, would probably say, "Your sins have found you out."

Now assume your REAL identity. What was it? Percival Bolthole? Abner Tetemerde? C'mon, buck up and be whatever sort of man you can be, even if it's not much of one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 05:34 PM

Holy flip. This is startin' to turn my stommick. I think I am gonna throw up right on the keyboard. I'm not jokin', eh? It's a flippin' nightmare.

Forget about me comin' after you for impersonating me, man. I wouldn't flippin' go within 100 flippin' miles of someone like you! I might catch what you got. Is Madagascar far FAR away? I flippin' HOPE so!

Please just GO AWAY forever. I am beggin' you. I'm down on my knees here and I am pleadin' with you. I can't take no more.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 05:08 PM

Just in case anyone wants to visit Brother Crispin.

DIRECTORY OF OCSO MONASTERIES- MALE BRANCH GENERALATE
ANNEX HOUSES & PRE-FOUNDATIONS
OTHER CISTERCIAN OBSERVANCES


75 - MAROMBY

Monastera Masina Maria
Maromby B.P. 1092
301 Fianarantsoa
MADAGASCAR
Tel: [261] (2075) 51706
Fax: [261] (2075) 519 35
Superior: Dom Jean Chrysostome Randriamahazosoa

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Brother Crispin Fiacre, OCSO
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 12:13 PM

Dear Friends,

My abbot has graciously permitted me time on the Abbey's computer today, the Feast of St. Ludan, because of the Saint's special relationship to our order. So, Rapaire, I hope that your birthday was blessed, happy, and full of joy.

Madagascar is far different from Blind River, Ontario. Of course, I spend all of my time in the Abbey where I am copying old manuscripts. This might seem boring but it is done for the greater glory of God. Being the Least of the brethren here I am also responsible for cleaning the pig sties, and I sing hymns to myself while I do it.

I pray every moment for each of you and especially for the person posing as Shane McBride.

May God bless and keep you all,
Br. Crispin Fiacre, OCSO

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 07:35 PM

Aw, Shane (or whoever you are). Thanks for the kind thoughts. I must have misphrased my note -- I meant the REAL Shane, the one who is in the monastery.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 03:25 PM

Dear Shane,

Today is my birthday. So far my birthday thread has had a number of people posting, wishing me "Happy Birthday." But you haven't posted. Don't you want to wish me a "Happy Birthday"? I'd wish YOU one if I knew when your birthday was.

Your friend,
Rapaire

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 02:52 PM

Heh! He has a grotty old sweatshirt with an arrow pointing down. It bears the legend: "FREE SEX! (males need not apply)" He has worn it a lot, but so far without much of the anticipated result.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 01:45 PM

Shouldn't the arrow point down?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 01:42 PM

No. I mean the one that says "I'm with the IDIOT" (with an arrow pointing to the right underneath the word IDIOT). He likes to wear that one a lot. He also has one that says "Go Leafs Go!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 01:38 PM

You mean the baseball cap he snatched off the head of poor Widow Wilson after he tripped her, broke her cane, trod on the loaf of stale bread that was to be her week's food, and then claimed that it was his "Daily Good Deed" because he left some pennies in her purse? THAT baseball cap?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 11:40 AM

Jeezus! That is a picture worth framing. I notice, though, that he's not wearing the baseball cap. That's unusual. As such, the picture becomes even more rare and valuable. It must have been taken when they were doing a strip search of Shane at the OPP headquarters.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 07:45 AM

Posters permitting, a week on Tuesday is the general feeling, though the exact time is still debatable - I've always been in the 4.37am (US tme) camp.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: autolycus
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 06:00 AM

At the current rate,when will the target be reached.

   (Oddly,I haven't read thru the thread to see if this has been answered even lately. Got enough on my plate.)






       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 11:08 PM

But, he has such a winning smile.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 10:59 PM

I have found the most wonderful picture of Shane McBride. Of course, it can't possibly bring out all of his finer points or do him justice. No mere photograph can do that!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 06:28 PM

I hate you, man. You will get yers some day. Mark my flippin' words!

So where the flip IS everybody today?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 09:25 PM

Yeah. And I'd bite it off before you could.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 08:38 PM

You are a sad flippin' case, man. Sad. If you was my dog I know what I would do, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 06:41 PM

...O! do not wish one more:        
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,        
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,        
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,        
And crowns for convoy put into his purse:        
We would not die in that man's company        
That fears his fellowship to die with us.        
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian:        
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,        
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,        
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.        
He that shall live this day, and see old age,        
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,        
And say, 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian:'        
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,        
And say, 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.'

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 04:29 PM

1300

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 04:28 PM

ok folks - just weighing in as usual

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:52 PM

Forgot about that Rapaire, he is actually quite the versatile Saint.

Here is the largest list I could find: barrenness; box makers; cab drivers; fistula; florists; gardeners; haemorrhoids; hosiers; pewterers; piles; taxi drivers; sterility; syphilis; tile makers; venereal disease.

I'm guessing the venereal disease angle is what really appealed to Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:48 PM

Seems I've a lot to learn on the aggression front and I've only myself to blame. I'm easily led you see. Next time I won't fall into Rapaire's snare quite so easily. On my next retreat to the 5000 thread I might seek advice about this one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:42 PM

Fiacre is also, as I noted earlier, the patron saint of hemorrhoid suffers. Perhaps, after all those years in jail, leather hemorrhoids....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:12 PM

Please excuse the typo above. I don't want to start an ugly scene.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:11 PM

OK, I see that Crispin is the patron Saint of leather workers and Fiacre is the patron Saint of taxi drivers. What's up with that?

ITWATBM, it seems to me that 'blaming' Rapaire is a bit aggressive. Perhaps it would have better if you had said "He started it!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:57 PM

Now we're confused again.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Brother Crispin Fiacre, OCSO
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:55 PM

I'm very sorry about that last. I'm not familiar with this keyboard.

Peace be with you, or as we say here, Pax vobiscum.

The Abbot has given me a few moments on the Monastery's Internet link, as he does all of those here. We are cloistered and of Strict Observance, but we need to know what happens in the World so that we can pray for the good.

I, who was once Shane McBride, bring you greetings from Madagascar! The flight over was long, but I found it a good time to examine my conscience, pray, and think about God and His goodness and how my past life caused Him pain. And yet He gave His Son so that I could be saved. That is Love, unselfish Love. And where Love prevails, there is God. I know that Love prevails among those here, even that one who would pretend to be the "old me." And I forgive him and will pray for his repentance.

My time is up and I must go.

Yours in God's Love,
Bro. Crispin Fiacre, OCSO

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:51 PM

KB's right; all this talk of fighting might put off new posters who perceive this to be an aggressive thread. Rapair's to blame for this with all his talk of Teutons and Romans. Personally I like all three new guests and hope they become permanent fixtures of the 85 billion thread. They may be interested to know there's even a way for them to become members of the 'First 100 Posters Club'. I won't bore them with the details just now - unless they're interested of course?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Brother Crispin Fiacre, OCSO
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:48 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:46 PM

Shane always comes back. Kind of like when you've eaten something that was a bit "off"...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:41 PM

Talk about a cross post (two snuck in on me)!

Shane, you're back! Now I can die happy.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:39 PM

We shouldn't be fighting anyway. Can't we all just get along?

How do you feel about this GUEST,Ed?

GUEST,KAYLA, what is your perspective?

GUEST,Canadienne, care to weigh in?

(I don't mean to slight the members who are part of the 85 Billion thread, just want to make sure the GUESTS feel at home.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:37 PM

I fight on.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:35 PM

No way, man! I can't flippin' belEEVE you would, like, bale out now, eh? Don't give up, man. There are, like, thousands of people out there dependin' on you to keep on keepin' on and flippin' take this thing all the way home! I am dependin' on you, man. Know'm sayin'?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:29 PM

There's too much choice. I feel the fight is already proving more than I can cope with. I might beat a retreat and withdraw from the battlefield forever, never to return.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:19 PM

How about the Macedonians/Greeks under Alexander? He did all right for himself (well, until that death thing).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 02:12 PM

I was thinking for about a 12 month period?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 01:45 PM

That's a tough one. The Romans did OK for quite a while there but wasn't it descendents of the Teutons who finally brought them down? I guess it depends on how long you want to play the game.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 01:25 PM

I'm not sure whether I want to be the Romans or the Teutons.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 01:15 PM

Well if you're going to do the same KB I suppose there is little point. It was just my latest plan of attack, but there's no fooling you so it's back to the drawing board for me.

Have just realised that GUEST,Ed may have been talking about posting on the forum generally rather than the 85 billion thread specifically (Sorry Guest,Ed). I have therefore, single handedly (!), solved the mystery and claim the prize for being the first person to have solved a mystery on the 85 billion thread. I shall now work on my acceptance speech and make a badge.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 12:57 PM

from now on?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 12:57 PM

post in triplicate

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 12:56 PM

Will you always

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 12:51 PM

Bet you thought we'd not get on to you so quickly did you GUEST,Ed? I think you now realise you picked the wrong thread to pretend to have posted on before. There's no flies on us 85 billioners - well a few perhaps, but we don't say anything about that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 12:46 PM

Come on, explain yourself GUEST,Ed. What's going on here?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 12:42 PM

There's no record of Guest,Ed ever posting on the 85 billion thread before, I've checked the archives. Could this be one of the 85 billion thread's first big mysteries? Do we have any detectives amongst our posters?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 10:16 AM

I was kind of enjoying the yin-yang thing of the two Shane's. Hopefully at least one of them will return (my preference would be the original in his original form. Flippin' eh).

Welcome GUEST,Ed. Don't be a stranger.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 09:21 AM

I'm not sure there is a computer link in the Monastery in Madagascar. As for the imposter, he's probably skulking around, hiding in the shadows in shame, thinking that in spite of his stinking of stale beer, vomit, and pot fumes nobody can find him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:16 AM

Do 3 posts in a row count as a concentrated and focussed block? If not what counts as one? I need to win this war.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:11 AM

I think if the real BDiBR is the original one he hasn't posted because he is in shock. This imposter (if so) has changed our view of him and there's nothing he can do to prove it. Either he'll always be my flipping spiritual leader.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:10 AM

Seems to me LH you're suggesting it is better to post in concentrated and focussed blocks rather than a steady, evenly spaced flow. Hmm worth a thought. Thanks LH I will.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 06:39 PM

This thread makes me smile.

I used to post here years ago, but stopped for various reasons. I still see the old arguements which will never end, but as I said: This thread makes me smile

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 06:35 PM

Speaking of barbarians, whatever happened to the Shane imposter?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 06:19 PM

The German tribes won by adroitly springing a surprise attack on the marching legions deep in the forest. The Romans were ill-prepared, being strung out in a long marching formation instead of a fighting formation, and they were overwhelmed and massacred. The Germanic people had many useful weapons at the time, including metal swords, axes, spears, arrows, and war dogs (large numbers of fierce hounds which could be released upon an enemy) (the Romans also employed war dogs in many battles). The Roman commander appears to have not handled the situation very well, and he paid for it by getting killed. The Romans seldom lost large battles against "barbarians", but they well and truly lost that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 03:33 PM

Mine will be a bloodless victory.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 03:24 PM

Well, the Teutons won the first time around. Some years later the Romans came and took their standards back. There was some minor violence associated with it, I believe.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 02:30 PM

Is this metaphor relating to Poster of the Year Rapaire?

And if so I ask the question, did the Teutons really win?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 01:15 PM

Were what appear to be wooden swords that were found on the site of the Teutonbergerwald battle (and carbon dated from that period) actually sufficient, even fire-hardened, to let Teutonic warriors fight on even a somewhat equal footing with the Romans?

If not, how come the Teutons won?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 07:14 PM

My, my. Children worry over such petty things. Are they concerned that someone is trying to steal Shane McBride's identity now that he's become Brother Crispin Fiacre, OCSO? Are they concerned that Don McBride hasn't mentioned his probably now-Sainted brother? No, they just squabble over who will post the most in '07, when the answer should be obvious to all.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 02:56 PM

Not so fast there buck-o. You want that award, you gotta go through me!

(Maybe you should keep a running tally this time. It would make the final tabulation a lot easier. Not only that, if I'm trailing toward the end of the year I could stuff the ballot box and wouldn't have to guess how many posts I needed. I thank you for your consideration on this.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 02:40 PM

Wow, no one else has posted since me this morning (UK time). Looks like Poster of the Year 2007 going to be a cinch. I'm off to work on my acceptance speech.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 04:08 AM

Reminds me of myself does KAYLA, brief, to the point and not inclined to waffle. I could have posted that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 05:34 PM

few words but a few needs

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 05:33 PM

Could be -- she sure ain't related to Shane!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 05:18 PM

Maybe she's related to Actress Wendy.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 05:15 PM

A person of a few words, that's Kayla.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 04:29 PM

Welcome, KAYLA, please tell us more.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KAYLA
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 04:20 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 02:34 PM

I found a picture of Shane (before he went in the Monastery) expressing his heritage his own way, Don.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 08:08 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! Oooweee! The little brother is really ticked now, eh? Ha! Ha! I nearly flippin' wet myself laffin'. He has gone downtown to drown his sorrows at the Iron Horse and try his tricks on the waitresses. He ain't got a dog's chance in hell though cos they all know him awlready, eh? That's his problem in this flippin' town. He can't hardly get away with nothin' here no more, so he usually goes to Sudbury now and then when he gets a great new idea to score dope or fast talk women or borrow somethin' from someone. We are gettin' to know the Sudbury cops better all the time. It was hate at first sight! Ha! Ha! Ha!

The Blind River cops are almost family by now, eh? Same for the cops in Spanish. I buy 'em a donut now and then for laffs.

Ain't seen Officer flippin' Dana for a bit now. She went back to cop school or somethin'. No big loss if you ask me.

- Don "the Man" McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 07:48 PM

Hey, punk-o! Maybe I'll drive over and see you after all.   Ha ha ha ha!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 07:11 PM

Listen, punk-o. Before he entered the monastery Shane would've ripped you to pieces! Wasn't anybody who could out-drink, out-cuss, out-fight, out-love, out-dope, or out-anything else the Old Shane. Now you come along and say you're him! "Oh, I hope your mungoberries..." -- the Old Shane wouldn't have said something like that; no, he would've try to rip 'em off.

At least he seems to have made peace with himself. Which is more than I can say for you, you white-livered, posy-sniffing, fake! And if you want to come out here and make something of it, come on ahead. I sure as heck can't be bothered to go to Blind River and look YOU up, you beer puke, you!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 06:03 PM

Rapaire! You are byond the flippin' pail, man. I hate you. I hope yer mungoberries shrivlle up and fall right off. Right there in front of yer eyes, eh? You stink! You are as useless as bazongas on a bull. Flip off and die.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 05:41 PM

Who IS Shane?
Who is he?
Only one can be real
Which shall it be?

Yeah, well, it ain't great poetry, and I never thought anyone would want to steal you-know-who's identity. I mean, why??? fer God's sakes? And then he converted and became a man of God, dedicating himself to the religious life. And not just any religious life, the hardest one around. No talking, not even being able to leave the confines of the Abbey much less look at a pretty girl! And now, when the New Shane is on his way to Madagascar some punk comes along and tries to steal his old, unrepentant, identity!

How low can some people go, anyway?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 05:16 PM

Jeezus flippin' H! If you think God has tested you, flipface, you got no idea about it you dipheaded bolthole! It is when I find you that you will be tested, motherflipper. Trust me. I heard abuot flippin' identaty theft before but I never flippin' thought it would happen to me. This must be my punishment for the things I have, like done over the years...like all them snowmobiles I borrowed that are at the bottom of the lake now, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 01:37 PM

"What next on this thread?"

Well, I guess we know.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Br. Crispin Fiacre, OCSO
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 10:25 AM

My dear brothers and sisters,

I have been ordered by my Superiors to study at Monastera Masina Maria, our monastery in Madagascar. I am going with a joyful heart, filled with the knowledge of the goodness of God and knowing that He would never ask us to do that which is beyond our strength.

It will be difficult for me to leave the land of my birth, to leave my family, but is it not written that "when I became a man I put on the things of a man?" I have grown up spiritually, as I had grown up physically, and I am, I feel, much better for it. I know now that my involvement with liquor, drugs, sex and the other traps of the flesh was God's way of testing me. I have found my true home here in the Cistercian Order of the Strict Observance (the Trappists) and hope to spend the rest of my life atoning for both my sins and those of others.

It is very possible that I will return to Canada, even to Blind River, in the future. In the meantime, I shall pray for each of you and ask only that you do not listen to that imposter who posts as me as I used to be.

Yours in Christ,
Brother Crispin Fiacre, OCSO

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 08:20 AM

Hi all,
Sorry I haven't been around lately - I took missing out on the 'Poster of the Year 2006' award real bad. First I couldn't sleep and took to drink (BDiBR would have been proud).This affected my job and I got told to 'sort myself out or don't come back'. I then took to living rough on the streets around Darrington, pondering over what more I could have done to become poster of the year and seeking advice and words of wisdom from all quarters, drunks, hobos, men of the cloth and sages on the 5000 thread. Basically it turns out that I should have posted more. Now enlightened, I'm back to start my new campaign for the 2007 award, proper this time.

And what a shock to return and find our spiritual leader BDiBR is now truly spiritual. What next on this thread?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:59 PM

RE: You may be a redneck...

My dad got re-married a number of years ago. When his wife (a lovely woman) died her two male grandchildren came to the funeral in their Harley T-shirts. On this side of the family we figured those were probably the nicest black shirts the guys had. They were pall bearers.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River (Br. Crispin Fiac
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:31 PM

No, brother, I shall only kiss my Abbot's ring and that of my Bishop. I know your type, for I was once like you. I can only pray for your repentance and salvation, and offer you a welcome in St. Dismas Abbey.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:10 PM

Sorta thing ol' Shane would wear to his wedding. Only I guess he'll never get married now. Trappists take vows of poverty (no problem there!), chastity, and obedience -- and silence. I kinda think Shane might have a problem with those last three, but if he IS reformed and HAS found God, well, who knows?

Crispin Fiacre, huh? I don't know about Crispin, but St. Fiacre is the patron saint of hemorrhoid sufferers. I guess it kind of fits.

Well, I wish him luck in his new life.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Cluin
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 06:23 PM

You may be a redneck if...

You wear this shirt for your engagement announcement photo

Looks like his bride-to-be is about 10 years old too.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 06:14 PM

You flippin' impostor! I will find you, man. And when I do you will kiss the flippin' glove!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Cluin
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 06:10 PM

Can't get a decent grow op going in Blind River. The bears keep getting into the crop.

So do the O.P.P.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 05:22 PM

Post 1234

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 05:22 PM

You can change Pluto's spark plugs now....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 05:03 PM

who cares.....?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 04:39 PM

Oh.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Cluin
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 04:34 PM

BDiBR's stash ain't worth going after. All seeds 'n' stems, as I hear.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 04:17 PM

Anyone here scuba dive?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 02:58 PM

I do not know who it was that last posted under my name, but I assure you that it wasn't me. I am soon to enter the Monastery of St. Dismas and will be known by the name of Brother Crispin Fiacre. I have already disposed of most of my worldly possessions, and have thrown my stash into the North Channel. Please do not be misled by that other.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 02:26 PM

"Palindromic number 1221!"

There will be none of that kinky stuff here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 02:13 PM

so no more bad habits?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 02:12 PM

http://www.strawbsweb.co.uk/related/monks/monks.jpg

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 02:09 PM

Now that's our Shane. I don't need a casket anyway, I'm not dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 02:02 PM

Some flippin' retread stole my name! If I find out who then he is, like, dead, eh? I ain't no flippin' Bible Thumper and I am not goin' to no flippin' monsterary neither!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 01:36 PM

Hey Shane, can I order one of these?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:21 AM

Palindromic number 1221!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 05:39 AM

The dog goned car needs fixing again?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 08:59 PM

Now, THAT was clever.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Rapaire on his wife's computer
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 08:58 PM

Won't Pluto object? Won't Mickey?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 08:48 PM

Poor guy. He'll be changing spark plugs on Pluto within a week.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 08:45 PM

I just wanted to tell all of you that I've seen the error of my ways and have left to join the Trappist monastery. Too much sex, liquor, dope, and tobacco; I've damaged my body and soul too much.

Farewell, my friends. Please pray for me, as I will be for you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 06:33 PM

it's never too late Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 06:07 PM

Shane does that even when he hasn't been kicked. He was denied a Teddy bear when he was young. Folks do get used to him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 05:48 PM

No, Shane isn't daid...just still clutching his crotch.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 05:32 PM

Da-a-a-a-ad

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 08:11 AM

I understand that the kick also removed the bag from Shane's head and the goats were so badly frightened that they still haven't been rounded up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 02:05 AM

hahahhah

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 12:27 AM

Just before the goat kicked him really hard, and that's why he walks kind of funny now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 12:17 AM

"surmounted"

Shane did that to the goat . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 07:22 PM

I'm so impressed. Through sheer perseverance and obstinacy you have surmounted 1200. um- Why?

But carry on. (There's a lot of that)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 01:27 PM

Flippin' A, man!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 01:24 PM

You can say that again.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 01:18 PM

Make mine a double!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 01:18 PM

Make mine a double!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 01:13 PM

That's the spirit, LH. Don't fuck around, buy a round!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 01:12 PM

Drinks all around!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 09:41 AM

Told you !! 1200 !!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 09:41 AM

It WILL Make 1200 !

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 08:43 AM

I forgot the mention that the goat makes Shane wear a bag over his head.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 08:42 AM

Hell, Shane would screw an ugly old goat in the sunshine. That's why he lives so close to a farm.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 30 Jan 07 - 03:06 AM

Shane would screw an ugly goat in the rain.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 11:25 PM

No flippin' WAY I will do it with a bald woman!!!! Geez. Gimme a break, eh?

Well I might if she wore a flippin' wig and I didn't know and Idinn't know she was bald. Yeah, then maybe, most likely, eh?

Or if she paid me.

Or if there weren't no other possibilities nowhere in sighte.

But not flippin' otherwise!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 10:29 PM

That was interesting, but I've seen similar websites.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 12:23 PM

I tied into a lower register once. I don't wanna talk about it, now or ever.

Maybe Slag is a girl?

And I was in Seattle with damned little Internet access!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 11:10 AM

I was attempting to light a fire and get the post count rolling again. We seem to have slowed lately. It didn't occur to me that others could use my comments for ill. I regret not thinking it through properly.

I noticed that slag thinks you are a girl. Maybe you should try tying in a lower register. Sad to say but it may just be due to the fact that you were so respectful while on the 5,000 thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 11:24 AM

Yes Rapaire, I also holidayed with Little Hawk, JennyO and KB. Where were you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 10:59 AM

You were with Slag then?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,ib48
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 09:53 AM

i dont know

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 05:41 PM

"I'm beginning to have doubts about us making it to 85 billion" (KB 26 Jan 07 - 01:20 PM)

          NEWS HEADLINES Daily Rag February 2007

'SHOCK HORROR!!!, 85 Billion thread Poster of Year 2006 has doubts about achieving thread aims. Is the thread all washed up?..... More on page 2'

KB this could be a newspaper's headline. Do you not realise how what you might say in jest could be used by the media? Does the position and responsibility of Poster of the Year mean nothing to you? Frankly I am shocked. While the journey is naturally a massive part of this thread (which is fortunate) to suggest we might never make 85 billion could put off potential posters. It seems I have not returned from my holiday a day too soon.

I had a very nice holiday by the way, except that Slag thinks I'm a girl.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 01:37 PM

Would you say "Gee, it's all about making a billion dollars (US), not about having the billion"? Would you say, "It's all about repairing the roof, not about the roof not leaking"?

Nope. It's the destination.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 01:20 PM

I'm beginning to have doubts about us making it to 85 billion. My consolation is this: Life is about the journey not the destination.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 01:53 PM

But the sun's gonna shine in my back door someday

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 11:26 AM

Washington, DC knows where the sun don't shine. They see it almost every single day--or don't, rather.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 10:59 AM

You don't need to go to Seattle to see the sun not shine. You can come to Floribama. We've had Seattle weather for a week, but without any of the things that make Seattle bearable in spite of the weather.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 10:47 AM

The reasons for what?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 09:17 AM

What do you suppose are the reasons for that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 09:33 AM

"There are a lot of reasons, many of which get repeated over and over again, many of which don't. Some of the reasons you hear a lot are:"

Just thought y'all should know about that!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 05:20 PM

So when I'm told to stick it where the sun don't shine I should take it to Seattle. It's quite a drive from here but what the hey!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 05:16 PM

I'm in Seattle, where the sun don't shine.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 05:10 PM

It happens, I don't worry.

This thread is like a microwave burrito, it just keeps coming back.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jan 07 - 06:19 PM

Errrr... Ahemmmm... Ahhhhh... You guys let your thread fall off the page....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 04:52 PM

It means he's climbing one mountain a day.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 04:41 PM

Would a hiliday be a vacation on a mountain?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 04:39 PM

Hi all,

Just thought I'd let you know I'm going on hiliday for a few days. See you all next week. I go knowing the thread's in safe hands.

Hi-de-hi

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 11:38 AM

It sounds very painful, so that too!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 10:37 AM

How about Gouache?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 09:36 AM

Well, we simply MUST avoid gauche at all costs.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 09:36 AM

Could it become more, say, 1967? Or maybe 1588? Or maybe 2009? Perhaps with a little effort it could become, I dunno, more September or something.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 02:14 PM

Top posters update. Sorry JennyO, after the top 10 I just took a random selection.

1.       KB 170
2.       Peace 148
3.       IWTATBM 125
4.       Rapaire 94
5.       Emma B 57
6.       MMario 38
7.       Bobad 38
8.       Bee-Dubya-ell 35
9.       Little Hawk 24
10.       Slag 23
11.       What, what, what 23
12.       Bill D 20
13.       BDiBR 19
14.       DMcG 11
15.       John 'Giok' MacKenzie 8
16.       JennyO 7
17.       Ebbie 6
18.       Chongo Chimp 1

Can we all just move on now please, this is becoming SO 2006.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 10:16 AM

Tie oo taunt to wank pall the pittle leeple tor fiss hrate goner.

"I posted to the 85 billion thread and all I got was this fuckin' t-shirt."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 10:08 AM

I'd like to thank the academy, the producer, my parents, and all the little people who helped make this award possible.

I think we all deserve something. Maybe a t-shirt with something like "85 Billion Thread - 2006 Virtual Getaway"

I looked for a link with a picture of somebody wearing ragged clothes but couldn't find one I liked. Where is Emma B. when you need her? She would have posted one already. I want to dedicate the award to her.

Now the race is on for Poster of the Year, 2007! Good luck to all but be assured, I will not relinquish my crown without a tussle.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 09:16 AM

How about "I posted to the 85 billion thread and all I got was a lousy set of rags"????

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 11:29 PM

Well, since Peace didn't make "The 85 Billion Thread Poster of the Year" I suggest we declare him "The 85 Billion Thread Poster Child"!

Just think of it! A photo of Peace dressed in rags panhandling on a street corner, with a caption that reads, "I posted to the 85 Billion Thread, and look where it got me! Don't make the same mistake!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 10:49 PM

You missed me out :-( I posted 7 times in 2006, which still doesn't put me in the top 10 - still it's something....... well not much actually........ oh all right, I'll try to do better in 2007.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 04:00 PM

Herewith
I is
A
Self Declared
Procurer and Provider (and Opportunist Leaper In)

so
for all those involved in counting the posts
just for you


Yer Tis

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 03:59 PM

I shall take my request all the way to the Imperial Court of Persecutions, Elections, And Bad Stuff if you force me to! My wife's a lawyer and I know how to use it...er, her....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 03:42 PM

Yeah but the CLICK ain't CLICK.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 03:23 PM

Well, many of these clogged the machine, so here in campaign (click here)s, we have decided to give the honoUr to those who promise great (click here then click ->) (this is here where there pointed to, FYI) opportunities for those of us involved in counting the votes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 03:09 PM

I think we have to use Peace' Diebold machine for that one Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 03:05 PM

If that's a list of the top 17 posters, then I got a question:

Chongo posted just one time.

I want the names of everyone who posted less than once!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:53 PM

But don't let that discourage any of you. There is always the recount.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:52 PM

Well, I just ran the posts through my brand-new Diebold machine, and the winner is
























SLAG!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:28 PM

You know, I really pity the hundreds of people on this forum who have never posted even ONCE to the 85 billion thread. People like Teribus, for instance. My, how I pity them.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:24 PM

I can officially announce that Poster of the Year for 2006 is ......KB. Well done KB, you thoroughly deserve your title. You have your place in the history of the 85 Billion thread. You are officially allowed to make yourself a badge with 'Poster of the Year 2006 (85 Billion Thread)' on it and can wear it with pride, or sell it on EBay, in which case I will bid for it.

For you interest posters, here is a selection of the top posters. If your name is not here, please ask and I will tell you how many times you posted on this thread in 2006.

1.        KB 170
2.        Peace 148
3.        IWTATBM 125
4.        Rapaire 94
5.        Emma B 57
6.        MMario 38
7.        Bobad 38
8.        Bee-Dubya-ell 35
9.        Little Hawk 24
10.        Slag 23
11.        What, what, what 23
12.        Bill D 20
13.        BDiBR 19
14.        DMcG 11
15.        John 'Giok' MacKenzie 8
16.        Ebbie 6
17.        Chongo Chimp 1


We now await our first 'Poster of the Year' award acceptance speech…… Over to you KB.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:12 PM

My dachshund, who has peed on every post around here many, many times, claims that HE is poster of the year.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 01:39 PM

You are very generous KB, I have not included them but it would not make a difference anyway by my reckoning.

More results to follow. Back briefly

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 01:02 PM

Briefly put, that's the long and the shorts of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 12:26 PM

"Where do we file our briefs? "

In a drawer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 12:13 PM

William Shatner (currently in hospital following an unexpected and emergency sex change operation) was, by actual numbers, Poster Of The Year 2006.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 12:05 PM

Wow. And I was just making up that whole logarithm and counting thing.

ITWATBM, don't forget thet for a time (while you were still a guest) there were a number posts by somebody with a style much like your own but without your name. Would those count?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 11:58 AM

Have worked a system for counting.

1. Open the whole thread and copy all the posters at the top of thread.
2. Paste this into Word
3. Search for a name, selecting 'highlight all'.
4. Copy this and paste it into a new document and do a word count.

Have just done a few names and discovered I am not poster of the Year 2006. Seems as though KB may have been genuine after all - always thought so.

More results to follow

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 11:53 AM

I will be filing suit and expect this to go all the way to the supreme court... Hold on there, who has jurisdiction in this dispute? Where do we file our briefs?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 11:30 AM

The recount will be done by a corporate entity, same as Florida. The system is fool proof (but not damned fool proof). Expext results in a few months.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 11:28 AM

Before I congratulate you on being Poster of the Year KB I demand a recount. It's all too easy for the counter of posts to claim to be Poster of the Year. In fact I have just had a bit of a count myself and it would seem that I am, in fact, Poster of the Year 2006. Who are the mathematicians on this thread? Remember this is Poster of the Year 2006 and therefore only posts up to 30 December can be included. This is becoming a saga and it's not over yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 10:15 AM

A little steam engine had a long train of cars to pull.


INSPIRING STORY GOES HERE


And she went merrily on her way, singing:

"I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I thought i could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could I thought I could --"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 09:56 AM

He do seem to be having a bit too much fun with that prop don't he?

(I must confess that I could only get my logarithm to count posts that had "KB" in the "From" field but I think the result is still fair and accurate.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 09:35 AM

This guy was awarded Poster Of The Year. Note that in a gesture of love and respect he has just kissed his trophy.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 09:17 AM

I have perfected my logarithm and ran the numbers. You will all be pleased to hear that I, little old me, is poster of the year for 2006 on the grand and glorious 85 Billion thread! No applause, please.

p.s. Welcome back Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 04:15 AM

Show me your proof Rapaire, quote me the numbers.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 06:39 PM

I assure you that you are not Poster of the Year.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 05:06 PM

I meant 85 Billion Poster of the Year of course LH - are you having a laugh? By the way I'm thinking of spending a few days on the 5000 thread you'll be pleased to know, just as soon as I am crowned 'Poster of the Year 2006' on this one. A sort of holiday I suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 04:59 PM

My feeling is that it would be Shambles.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 04:56 PM

Has ANYONE lifted a finger to research who was Poster of the Year 2006? Sometimes I think you're all a very lazy bunch. Being Poster of the Year will be an important thing in centuries to come and it will look bad on the founding posters if we didn't even acknowledge it. KB are you still counting or did you give up? Would Jo Offer or Max be able to click a button and find out instantly or what? Does anyone know anything about how to do this? Do historic moments mean nothing to any of you? I'd count the numbers myself but I've been ill you see.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 09:47 PM

Yeah, all the guys down at the "Pink Cowboy" missed ol' Shane.

Well, I guess pickin' up all his old trash was okay. I mean, all it would be would be empty beer cans. Nothing rubber, if you take my drift.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 09:11 PM

Let ya outta jail, huh? Fock. Goddamn beg to hear from you and you have the nerve to show up only half pissed. Yer lettin' down the team, Shane. Way down.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 09:03 PM

Thanks, eh? It is good to be back on the outside.

But Holy Flip. I picked up a lotta flippin' trash today, eh? And the worst flippin' part is this....some of it was MY OWN TRASH!!! From, like, a half a year ago, eh? I dumped a lotta stuff out on the side of the flippin' road from Don's pickup cos it was stuff I did not need, and guess flippin' what? I had to pick it back up today! Jeezus flippin' H Christ! It really flippin' burns me that I had to pick up my own flippin' old stuff that I throwed out so someone else could flippin' deal with it instead of me!

There ain't no justice.

Rapaire, you are a flippin' son of a bolthole's last flippin' death wish by bad skunky old beer and I hope a flippin' tree falls on yer flippin' head!

That is all I got to say to you, flipface!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 03:58 PM

Welcome back Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 03:09 PM

Ol' "Cow Moose" Shane must be sleeping it off. Or back in jail. Probably back in jail. He must be about out of cigarettes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 09:25 PM

...hung like a flippin' moose...

Yeah. Hung like a flippin' cow moose!!

Well, that's okay, Shane. I guess you made lots of cigarettes in jail, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 07:19 PM

Hey! I'm out, eh? They let me out on approbashion and I hafta do some community work. Geez! I hate work. Man, do I ever flippin' hate it! But I gotta go pick up trash and stuff. What a flippin' drag! The worst flippin' part is that all my buddies are gonna laff at me forever over this.

So I thought I had this great idea, eh? There was a thread on Muccat awhile back not too flippin' long ago and it was about a scam where you, like, go aroudn door to door and pretend you are doin' a govenmemnet survey, eh? And if a woman opens the door you say that she has to show you her bazongas for the survey! I read that and I thought..."This could work!" So I went out and tried it. First I tried in Blind River, but too many people know me there already so it wasn't goin' good. I got a lotta rejeckshions and once nearly got punched out.

So then I wised up and went to the big city. Sudbury. People are real easy to fool in Sudbury, eh? Cos they, like, get drunk a lot there.

So I'm workin' my way down the street from, like, house to flippin' house and tryin' out my act but no one is showin' me her bazongas. Not one! I couldn't hardly believe my bad luck, eh?

And then I got arrested. Someone called the flippin' cops on me. There are a lotta people out there who are mean and flippin' spitful and they don't mind at all to mess up the day for someone like me, eh? They are jealous cos I look so good and I'm still young.

They chareged me with sexual harassment!!! And bein' a public nuisance. I don't mind bein' charged with bein' a pubic nuisance because I am one and I KNOW that, but sexual harassment????

Holy flip. There was 16 women what came forward and indentified me as a fippin' sexual harrasser! I was flippin' dead dog humiliated! What the flip is a guy like me who is young, strong, and hung like a flippin' moose supposed to do in his spare time, eh? I don't call it hareassment I call it appresiation!

I don't believe the flippin' justice system we got nowadays. It is totally flipped up and gone to hell.

So I gotta pick up trash for the next 6 weeks. Holy flip.

What did I ever do to deserve this?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 06:18 PM

No,no. Having created you I need no further affirmation. Certainly nothing as silly as "top poster" or something. All I want of you, my creations, is your worship, your money, and your immoral souls. All of which, of course, I already have.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 05:06 PM

Just because you created us Rapaire, doesn't give you the right to claim our posts in the Poster of the Year 2006 award if that's what you're planning to do. I'm on to your little game; you creators are all the same. And KB, you seem a little worried to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 04:58 PM

I have a little shrine in the vestibule dedicated to you Rapaire, oh grand and wonderful Creator.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 04:56 PM

Did I say there was another? No, no, not at all. I am the one and only GUEST, KB and have posted as such off and on since 1999 or so. I have been terribly busy posting this and that and the other, I have a hard time keeping track sometimes. My mind wanders, that must be where any difference in posting style appears. All just me, no need to concern yourself. Thanks all the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 04:56 PM

None of you exist anyway. I created all of you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 04:51 PM

How do we know which KB you were KB? If two KBs were posting here this will have affected your number count. You may have to be disqualified unless you can provide firm evidence that you were ALL KB posts. I'm sorry to be ruthless but Poster of the Year 2006 is at stake here. Now that I think about it you did seem somehow different at times. Hmmm

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 04:28 PM

Interesting that. When I checked the posts I discovered that there was a parallel "GUEST, KB". This person posts seldom and never in the 85 Billion thread (I would definitely have noticed that) so it is not germaine to this discussion so why did I bring it up? Hmm...   mutters and walks off.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 04:08 PM

We surely have to be included as both our guest names and member names together. Does anyone have a problem with this?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 03:41 PM

Point taken.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 03:39 PM

I needed to practise first KB, before I plucked up the courage for the home thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 03:34 PM

Well, you can always click on the member name and all the posts made are displayed. I think you would still have to count them maually though. Plus, folks like you (IWTATBM) and I would appear to have fewer posts than we did seeing as how we posted for quite some time as GUEST, xxxx. I think I will keep working on my logarithm, it seems less labor (or labour, if you will) intensive.

BTW IWTATBM, I was shocked to see that your first post as a member was not to this thread. If it were anyone else this would almost make me question your loyalty to the cause. You have shown your colo(u)rs enough times that I can rest easy, but still...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 03:26 PM

We could be at 84,906,714,305 and no one would know.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 03:24 PM

I meant number of posters based on quantity of course. Quality is too subjective and I'd win every time! I have a feeling the results may not be as predicted. Is there an easy way of counting individual posts on threads; at the click of a button so to speak? Until I find out there isn't I'm holding back from manual labour. We could have 'poster of the month/year' awards. Yes, what I want to know is who was poster of the year 2006? Then 2nd, then 3rd. I bet MOAB haven't done this. Another 1st for the 85 billion thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 02:47 PM

I think the fact that it was post 1111 is enough. Not that I wouldn't love to hear you expound on your experiences regarding haven gotten number 1111.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM

Sorry my previous post wasn't a bit more erudite, but he who spends a lot of time composing a witty message attempting to make post number 1111 often winds up embarassing himself by claiming post number 1111 while actually making post number 1117 instead.

If time had permitted, I would have written an ode to post number 1111 or, perhaps, baked it a cake.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 06:04 PM

1111

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:51 PM

Well, it ain't stinky ol' Shane. He's in the slammer, and probably enjoying every minute of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 03:59 PM

Now that we can all lighten up (I hope non-smokers are not offened),

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 03:54 PM

In terms of quality or quantity?

I have a logarithm worked up but it is only accurate out to six decimal places. I don't think that is good enough for a thread like this. I don't want to provide an answer unless I can be positive it is correct. I'll get back to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 02:56 PM

Challenge.

Who are the top ten posters on this thread? Someone with a mathematical flare and time on their hands might like to work this one out and let us busy people know. Actually I have time on my hands but am just too darn lazy.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 12:11 PM

So then my 11 year old is really only three. He might like that, he hasn't been too keen on this growing up thing.

I wrote down for him:
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who do not.

After I explained it he thought it was really funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 12:07 PM

Batida De Shhhhhh!

Treze são um número mágico

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 12:00 PM

Yeah, but from binary to decimal it's 13.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 11:48 AM

I'll try to loosen up a bit. Might take some time, I am by nature a very sober and serious person.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 11:39 AM

Everyone can breathe a deep sigh of relief. KB in Iowa just did post 1101.

From ASCII to binary, that translates to 00110001001100010011000000110001. Subsequently we are well past the measley 85 billion goal. From now on we can stop taking it so seriously and just fart around on the thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 10:06 AM

Hey, that was #1100 and I didn't even notice. Does it still count if you don't mention it at the time?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 10:04 AM

I've been kicked out of classier joints than this.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 09:32 AM

Jeez, I was just trying to point out that cutting out the middle man would make this thread even cheaper than it already is.

Stick around and add some class to this joint. It needs it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there in the middle man
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 09:19 AM

Oh cruel heartless Rapaire. You have cut me to the quick with your rapier-like wit! But never fear, as long as I have breath in my body, ink in my pen, and - er - letters on my keyboard, I shall keep fighting for the upliftment of this noble thread!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 09:17 AM

Hey IWTITMM, I think for right now as long as you are who you are you are fine. It is when you are not anyone at all that you are not.

Why not just join? I did and found the procedure to be relatively painless.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 09:04 AM

Well, things are supposed to be cheaper if you cut out the middle man...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there in the middle man
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 09:51 PM

I'm still here, somewhere in the middle, and if you never see me again, you will know I am still there in spirit (hic). Us poor little guests don't seem to be as welcome around here any more (sniff) and I was only trying to help (sob)!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 09:24 PM

And everyone was singing "Ain't no woman like the One-Eyed Dot."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 03:48 PM

We had a cold snap last week, following a stretch of nice warm weather. Seems like the warmth brought out the frogs, and when the Blue Norther hit the frogs all dove into the water at once. Only the water froze before their legs got in the water, and there was this mass of frog legs sticking up above the ice -- frogs were all dead, of course.

Well sir, The Ropin' Rompin' Ranger got out a lawn mower and collected them frog legs. Got himself a bushel and a half, took 'em up to the Legion Hovel, and they had a big frog leg feed up there. It was made more joyous by the tank car of beer they'd managed to switch off the main line and stashed in the barn.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 01:28 PM

There was a duck in my pond a few mornings ago. Not a wild duck, a domestic duck. I could tell it was a domestic because, in addition to being solid white, it was wearing an apron and had a broom tucked under one wing and a bottle of Pine-sol under the other. Instead of saying, "Quack, quack, quack!" it said, "Sorry, I don't do windows."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 09:31 AM

Two ducks, get 'em while they're hot!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 09:30 AM

Anyone check the duck cam lately? Maybe I will, there were ducks the last time I looked.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 08:09 PM

How's it goin'?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 06:00 PM

Ten-eighty-eight is the new four-twenty! Burn 'em if ya got 'em!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 05:24 PM

Or at least 1,087

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there in the middle man
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 08:33 AM

Then we revive and come alive
And make a dive for 85.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:47 PM

...we quit at five.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 05:48 PM

Fear not, Astoria. The thread will survive--to thrive on jive and stay alive. We got the drive and

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 05:02 PM

Yes, good old me...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 04:55 PM

Good old IWTATBM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 04:49 PM

sniff

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 04:43 PM

Was a time I would begin to despair when the thread would slide off the page. I had my moments of doubt about the future. Now I don't worry. There are enough of us now to keep it from staying down for too long. I might even be willing to be a little Shamble-istic if I thought it was needed. Up to now I haven't liked to bring a thread (any thread) back up if I was the last one to post but right now am thinking I will no longer allow that to prevent me. The thread is more important than my pride. So what if poeple think I am sad little person with no friends and nothing better to do than reply to himself. I know I could have friends if I wanted to, I just don't want to, that's all. I'm pretty busy anyway, I'm only up to 1999 in my quest to read every word of every thread that has ever been on the Mudcat. It's fascinating really, so many folks with so many thoughts. None of them are about me but I don't mind. I matter, I'm a valuable person and some day the world will see that. There will come a time when the world will not just pass me by like so much refuse to be put on the curb for the trashman to take away. Then you will all be sorry you treated me this way. Can't stay any longer just now, I have to go lance my boil.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 03:14 PM

IWTITMM don't worry, this thread was never forgotten. Sometimes we let it slide away a little just to see who will dig it out. This time it was you! Good to see you brother I Was There Man.

We will certainly miss Emma B over here and will rejoice when, hopefully, she returns. There's always hope of a return; take my case for example!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 02:03 PM

Oh, dear. I was away over the weekend and now I find that Emma B says she is leaving.

If you see this, Emma B., feel free to return any time without explanation. Just log on and post a goofy link. I really like your goofy links.

Like IWTATBM said on the other thread, you will still be welcome at the 85 Billion get-togethers. Even if you never post again.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there in the middle man
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 04:23 AM

How can this thread possibly reach 85 billion posts if we let it drop off the bottom and forget all about it?

Slag's over there slumming around in the deleted posts thread talking about this thread, and all the while, he's not posting here. Shame on you man, shame on you!

Never fear, I will do my duty. Up you go!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 07 - 09:18 AM

Well, his brother said Shane was in durance vile, i.e., jail (or gaol). Since that's his second home he'll probably be okay for the winter, and may even come out in the Spring wealthier than when he went in.

But I doubt it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 05:28 PM

I'm starting to think maybe the Sudbury gorilla got him. I sure hope not, Lord only knows what would become of him then.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 05:25 PM

I figgered that this was the case. He's probably enjoying himself and others are enjoying him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 03:05 PM

Bail? No sweat. He never wanders far from the tavern.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 02:19 PM

Anyone know what his bail record's like?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 02:15 PM

hey I'm on the case already

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 02:11 PM

Just to clear this up - does this mean no new year address from our thread host? When's he due to be released big brother?

flip!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 12:15 PM

Once they get to Blind River the youth are no longer in Asia.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 11:50 AM

Is euthanasia legal in Blind River?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 12:21 AM

Woe is me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 12:18 AM

Hey...guys?   I hafta give you the sad news, eh? Shane...my little baby brother the majre loser is...


You ready fer this?



You sure?



You TOTally srue?





The flippin' goofball is back in jail! For New Years, eh? I seen it comin'. He made a bunch of the ushewall revolutins this year like he always does, eh?

Like, he said he was gonna get drunk a hole lot more and have a hole lot more sex too and then marruy Shania Twain. Ha! Ha! NOT!!!!!    Well, maybe the getting drunk part, yeah. He did do that, I gess.

But this time was reaaaaally STUPID. He was a total retread this time. You would not believe what the idiot did. I am embarrased to have him as my brother. Of coarse you knew that all ready, didn't you?

But still. this is excruishiatin'ly embarfasing. Un-flippin' be-LEE-vable! I laffed till I fell down cryin' when I heard about it.

I wondre how long the poor flipper is in for this time? His officer Dana (the cold bithch) has gived up on him. She sees that he is beyond help, eh? Too flippin' bad, but she is cold as a fish in my apinion cos she turned me donw at least 3 times now...so maybe not.

WEll, that's the news, eh? Happy Flippin' NEW YEAR, eh?

- Don McBride (Shane's big brother)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 Jan 07 - 02:00 PM

McDonalds is to blame. It's easier to make every hamburger taste the same if they all came from the same cow. Too bad they seem to have picked the wrong cow.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jan 07 - 01:14 PM

CLONES: Its whats for dinner.

Assume your beef is cloned. The FDA has announced that cloned beef is safe to eat and does not require any disclosure or labeling to inform the consumer.

cartoon: "No Senator, there are no hazards regarding cloned beef."
(picture of 5 identical meat industry CEO's testifying before Congress)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,wecked wabbit
Date: 04 Jan 07 - 10:39 AM

sorta like this?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 07 - 09:54 AM

No, just one thing. Nonfuctional, but just one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 Jan 07 - 09:53 AM

I have never met him so perhaps panache is the wrong term. Based on the descriptions of those who do know him it cetainly seems as though he has something. Maybe several things.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 07 - 09:49 AM

I was just thinking about Shane's panache. That's not what we called it back home on the farm, but I guess it's as good a description of it as any.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 07 - 09:30 AM

And his head. Shane is going for the Eunuch Look before it is forced upon him by...well, circumstances.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 03:00 PM

No worries there. He shaves his legs.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 02:59 PM

As long as we get the Address I don't care what he wears (no stubble though with the dress).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 02:55 PM

Shane in his New Year's dress. Now, that is a thought to boggle one's mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 02:49 PM

Shane we are all awaiting your New Year's Address. Where are you and where is it? It is our entitlement and your duty. (thanks)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 12:11 PM

I'm intrigued by the dish with "BBQ" and the one with pommes "Granny Smith." I'm reminded of the time I was watching Univision (Spanish language TV) some years back. They were reporting on pro wrestling and flying along in a melodic spanish punctuated by references to a "Rocky Johnson." It was wonderful.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 11:44 AM

mmmmm - that's what I call Panache

bon appetit mes amis

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 09:19 AM

What I meant to say is that the woman he picked up at closing time will hit him in the head with a frying pan in the morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 09:13 AM

"But he will do it with a panache that few can muster."

Pan ache ?
Is that the same as kill it with a skillet ?

and I don't want mustard on mine - Thankyou

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 09:09 AM

But he will do it with a panache that few can muster.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 08:27 PM

Then he takes one step and falls flat on his face (fortunately he can't do any more damage to it), and rolls into the orchestra pit.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 05:04 PM

The tension is really starting to build. I can see it now... The crowd is hushed, the spotlight comes on - stage left - and then Shane steps out of the shadows. The place ERUPTS in a frenzy of foot stomping hand clapping over-the-top exuberence! I am really stoked.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 03:27 PM

Shane gives his most memorable speeches when he's drunk.

SHANE

SHANE

SHANE

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 11:43 AM

Think he'll be sober enough to do so for next year?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 11:39 AM

Well I have faith in him. He will deliver us a new year speech, you'll see. Perhaps the new year starts late in Blind River?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 11:07 AM

Yeah, and the rest of him too. As he has often said, "Where my arsehole goes, I go!" and I have never known him to do otherwise. Of course, it is one BIG arsehole....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 01:48 AM

The arsehole is probably locked up in jail, again.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 Jan 07 - 06:59 AM

We demand our New Year Address. Where are you BDiBR?

Happy New Year to all 85 billioners.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 31 Dec 06 - 08:46 AM

OK! which elf took out the viagra spam?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 31 Dec 06 - 07:20 AM

Hey! this thread may need a bit of a "lift" but........

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 12:40 AM

And many uninformed people think this is just another thread!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 12:39 AM

http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/boxing.asp

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 11:22 PM

When IS boxing day, and why is it in capital letters?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: NightWing
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 09:28 PM

It is, without doubt, the most wonderful Boxing Day ever boxed. Touching, funny, sensitive without being all touchy-feely, it's a man's box that even women love, a box for the whole family to enjoy together. It will undoubtedly change your life, making it richer and fuller than you could have ever imagined.

With all due apologies to Rapaire ... that is to say, none.

BB,
NightWing

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 09:45 AM

I did look up Boxing Day and there are about 7,491 different explanations. I guess it can be whatever you want it to be. What a great idea for a Holiday.

Don't feel bad bobad (banana fana fo fad), I think your method is as good as any (as long as the wife is game).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 07:52 PM

Damn, and I've been going ten rounds with the wife on the 26th. for the last thirty years.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 07:46 PM

I doubt that he'll be coherent. He usually isn't.

As for Boxing Day, I think it was called that because that was the day you boxed up all the gifts you'd received and took them back for exchange.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 05:37 PM

Hey, do you think BDiBR has finished working on his New Year's Day address to his followers? It'll be an historic moment for sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 01:00 PM

What is the idea behind Boxing Day? I know nothing about it. I guess I could look it up, maybe I will.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 12:41 PM

Yep. Stayed home with the family. I don't shop Boxing Days on principle. Store employees shouldn't be forced to work it; they should be able to be home with their families. Damn consumerism! Do we REALLY need another shopping day?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 12:38 PM

I hope all our Canadian friends (and anyone else who may celebrate it) had a wonderful Boxing Day!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 06:35 AM

refresque

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what
Date: 25 Dec 06 - 11:58 AM

Mil e vinte sete.
Posteres do companheiro do christmas alegre.
Paz na terra.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Skivee
Date: 25 Dec 06 - 11:29 AM

Hey, Shane...Have you started counting to see if you've reached 85 billion yet?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 06 - 11:25 AM

I guess I'll use KB. KBII sounds like a radio station and KBI sounds like the Keokuk Bureau of Investigation.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 25 Dec 06 - 07:23 AM

Happy Christmas to all posters of the 85 billion thread, on this, the first of many thousands of Christmases we will enjoy together.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 08:05 AM

And peas on you too.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 06:17 AM

I go away for 36 hours and this thread falls off the edge!

Seasons greetings to all our readers

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 03:53 PM

I remember worrying whether IWTATBM was already taken when I decided to become a member. Seems I was one of the lucky ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 03:11 PM

Please do, I am only "KB in Iowa" because "KB" was already taken. Imagine my chagrin!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 02:54 PM

Congratulations on your new title KB. Can we still call you KB or will you be offended if we don't call you KB in Iowa? I think this needs to be cleared up before things get out of hand and potentially nasty.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 01:08 PM

I was wondering where you have been IWTATBM. Got to thinking maybe you had made good (not that it would actually be good) on your threat to leave and never return. I saw dark days ahead but now the clouds have lifted.
I am feeling a bit strange, I had thought it was the oatmeal but now I'm not so sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 12:35 PM

I considered writing it correct but didn't feel like it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 12:26 PM

"When will I start to feel different?"

That depends on the transitivity of the verb.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 12:22 PM

This thread's gone mad - I feel like a bit-poster these days.

You should by now be feeling different KB, like everthing before was not reality but a strange dream.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 10:40 AM

Well, that's done. When will I start to feel different?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 08:00 AM

Ooops, I mentioned it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 07:59 AM

Not to mention thread tracing.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 06:08 PM

Actually, PMing is sort of frequent. And Chat is nice as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:50 PM

PM'ing is a really big advantage to membership KB as is joining in the fun of the Secret Santa and members/events photos etc.
Come on in - the waters lovely!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:45 PM

But I really do wonder. How often do you, for instance, PM other members? What other things can you do here that I can't that you actually do here?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:42 PM

It's all right, I am only teasing anyway, take no notice.
Giok ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:38 PM

I'm not an anonymous poster. I just haven't filled out the form on the membership page. I even asked what difference it would really make if I did join and got no responses worthy of the name. I really do wonder, what are the benefits of membership? I mean besides what is on the FAQ page. What do you get out of it that actually matters? What options are available that you really use?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:31 PM

Who cares.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:29 PM

You can't claim your prize if you don't tell us who you are can we?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:25 PM

I know there is a debate about whether or not this forum should be members only but as of now it is not.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:22 PM

Guests are not counted for the multiples of 100 posts sorry mate.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:52 PM

Well, OK then.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:50 PM

No

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:45 PM

1,000

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:45 PM

post

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:45 PM

get

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:45 PM

to

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:44 PM

wants

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:44 PM

who

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:44 PM

me

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:43 PM

besides

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:43 PM

anyone

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:43 PM

there

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:43 PM

Is

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 02:54 PM

Sorry, the above was mine.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 02:53 PM

But Shane is with us in spirit always. The flesh may be weak and all...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 09:36 AM

Just as I suspected. Shane starts something, but his attention span is shorter than his...well, his his so he sort of wanders off talking to himself. No wonder "Dynamite" Dana wouldn't have anything to do with him!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 06:57 PM

LOL!!! Great pictures!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 04:39 PM

How about some Holiday cheer?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 03:02 PM

Those will be some seriously confused duk-ogs.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 02:57 PM

I'll drink to that

what's yours?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 02:13 PM

Open for adoption

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 02:09 PM

how could you.....wahhhh...... what about the kiddies?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:40 PM

Shane still locked up?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:36 PM

These took a wrong turn

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:31 PM

This one won't

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:25 PM

Oh yes it will............

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:22 PM

but this one WILL

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:11 PM

This thread will not even reach the other side of the road....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:11 PM

Herding ducks? I've heard ducks but never heard of a herd of ducks.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:08 PM

there'll be some along in a minute

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:03 PM

I have to duck out for a bit, be back later.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:54 PM

Trudgin' man(woman?)fully along

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:44 PM

They're gone, damn.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:42 PM

I see no ducks, I feel cheated. It'll be a duck free Christmas for me I'm sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:17 PM

YES YES YES KB
just a smidgeon TOO excited
or should that be a widgeon
or did I 'teal that from somebody ?
I knew I should have pulled the eider leg
OK OK
I'll duck down now and pay the bill

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:08 PM

There are two ducks on the duck cam! Hurry before they fly away! Am I too excited?!?!?!? YES!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:01 PM

enough bupkis already!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:08 AM

Ol' Pap Bupkis.

Haven't thought of him in years. Lived down the street in a tarpaper shack, grew his own vegetables, and shot squirrels with a slingshot for meat. Had the last cistern and outhouse in the neighborhood. Played the banjcordion, an awful thing he invented himself, half banjo and half accordion.

He used to sit out on his front stoop each autumn and play the thing, just so he'd get arrested and have a nice warm place during the winter. The judges used to sentence criminals to 90 days in the lockup, where they were forced to listen to Ol' Pap play that thing. ACLU finally got 'em to stop, except for people like serial murderers, father rapers, and other ne'er do wells like those.

Yeah, Ol' Pap Bupkis. Offered to whittle us a banjcordion just so we could annoy our parents.

Anyway, yeah, I knew Bupkis. He must either be dead or going on 170 years old by now. He was old when I knew him, but he could still crack walnuts with his teeth. 'Course, the walnuts cracked the teeth right back, but Ol' Pap didn't mind, 'cause he had a deal with the funeral home. He musta been over a hundred when I knew him, but he could still grab himself by the hair and hold himself out at arm's length.

Yeah, I knew Bupkis.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 05:11 AM

only 37 to go

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 02:23 AM

Does this help?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:04 PM

Jack Benny.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:47 PM

39 to go.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:45 PM

Oy agree.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:39 PM

Oy.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:37 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:37 PM

The next post will be bupkis.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:27 PM

I don't know from bupkis.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:25 PM

Yes. One in which it would be good to know bupkis.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:24 PM

Is there going to be a test on this?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:16 PM

That was good.

However, I found something that will help. Look at this pic and then follow my calculation, ok? You have to work with me on this, Bobad, and all other 85 billion poster supporters.

1000-952=(and what goes here is our problem)

Using the diagram, we subtract the number on the right from the other number on the right from the number above but which in this case is on the left because of I can't make the things line up the way they do in the pic. Any way, we take two away from zero and what do we get? Right. We get bupkis, because anything from nothing is nothing. We repeat that with the next number to the left meaning the number on the right of the lleft number but really to our left unless we are behing the computer or standing on our heads which would present the same view if your computer is upside down. Anyway, five from zero is--yes, you're right again--another bupkis. Notice that the same thing will occur with the zero and the nine. Bupkis. BUT, when we take zero away from the one, EUREKA. WE HAVE ONE POST TO GO AND WE HIT 1 bupkis bupkis bupkis. No applause necessary. It's a breeze when you know how.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:03 PM

Would you say Huygens was a vacillator?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:00 PM

Uh, is this December?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 09:59 PM

OK. Math is my thing. Here ya go. This is post 950. We have to make it to post 1000 by the New Year. By my calculations, we have 13 days to go or 14 if this is the 17th.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 09:57 PM

Huygens, we have a problem!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 09:29 PM

Uh, I think we have a math problem here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 09:27 PM

This should make it 55.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 09:22 PM

That's more like it. Only 56 posts to go and we make it 1000 before the New Decade.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:41 PM

No ducks at the moment

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:36 PM

Hell! I wouldn't dare!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:35 PM

You wouldn't dare mock a duck Emma, you have so much in common!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:23 PM

well I for one would never mock a duck!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:22 PM

Ducks don't like to be mocked. They are very sensitive.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:19 PM

Yup. And I've ducked mock, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 03:49 PM

I've come back now all this highbrow Latin's subsided. As My great uncle Ebenezer of Lower Loxley once said: "All this fancy talk won't get the pigs in will it?" And he was right.

Ever had mock duck?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 03:04 PM

My favorite recipe for fowl is to stew 'em until the feathers float to the top. That's when you know they're done.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 03:00 PM

I'm getting hungry

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 02:52 PM

still trying to work out whether that's pigeon Latin Rapaire or a rather tasty recipe for Latin pigeon!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 12:02 PM

Do you suppose he was trying to compensate for something?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 12:00 PM

you'll need a damn big headstone for that epitath Rapaire!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:33 AM

OK, guys, up and at 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:31 AM

Looks like someone else is already working on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 08:52 AM

I spent quite some time last evening, and I finally worked out the equation:

Energy = Motto x the speed of something in centimeters squared.

Or, as I like to write, E-mc^2.

Now if I can only work out what that something is that speeds along. I've tried gossip, ignornance, Shane (came out way, way too long a figure), pop music, and all sorts of times, like 4/4 and 6/8 and 12/8 and 16/32 and andante vivace and allegretto con multigraino.

Well, I hope to have it all finished in time for next year's Nobel Prize money.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 10:09 PM

Trained at...Oxford, was it?, Peace? I've been known to hang around Scottish bands and yell, "Aw, yer piper eats aspargus!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 09:06 PM

Piece of cake. It's a very long roundabout way of saying that the piper eats asparagus. Piper and asparagus are the important bits; the rest is just detail.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 09:04 PM

So then, let this be my epitath:

Adicies in caccabum liquamen, vinum, oleum, cocturam, porrum et coriandrum concisum, esicia minuta, spatulam porcinam coctam tessellatim concisam, et in eundem caccabum iecinera et pulmones inmittes. Dum coquitur, teres piper, ligusticum, origanum, ius de suo sibi, vino et passo temperabis. Facies ut ferveat. Cum ferbuerit, tractam confringes et ex ea obligas, piper aspargis et inferes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:15 PM

Latin is a language
Dead as dead can be;
First it killed the Romans,
Now it's killing me

All are dead who spoke it,
All are dead who wrote it;
all are dead who learned it -
Lucky dead, they've earned it!

Dies improbi capilli Cara?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:13 PM

Simply demonstrates the value of a good Classical Education, old chap.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:10 PM

Showoff!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:07 PM

Oh, fer goodness sakes! Let this old Latin Scholar at it!

Ergo agite, ocomites    =   Therefore agitate, O Committees
Lacrimas mihi sestite inannes = Cry to me [you] inane sestite*
Namque ego agam posthac = I want namque and agam** posthaste
Tempus in omne nihil = Doesn't time mean anything to you?


* Sestite: a type of light cavalryman popular in areas of Scotland never conquered by the Romans.

** Namque and agam: Roman precursor of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, made with battered eels and cheese on toasted bread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 07:10 PM

not even getting warm Peace

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 07:08 PM

ૐ

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 07:01 PM

The thread will NOT hit on eth ous and by sitting idle.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:58 PM

My educated guess is that you have posted a recipe for some sort of bug killer that destroys a relative of the termite family. Am I close?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:54 PM

OK then - how about

MY EPITATH -

Ergo agite, ocomites
Lacrimas mihi sestite inannes
Namque ego agam posthac
Tempus in omne nihil

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:36 PM

"I can see a pug in the milk." Okay....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:30 PM

my motto?

Lata videtur puga in hac?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 03:52 PM

Nothin'. What's the motto with you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 03:45 PM

Oh dear,
what can the motto be ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 03:43 PM

What's a motto?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 03:40 PM

It's my personal motto: 9-1-1.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 03:30 PM

Sorry, Rapaire. It's Greek to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 03:21 PM

Εννιακόσια ένδεκα

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 03:20 PM

My apologies. I should not have said that. Instead. allow me to say, "Now THAT was fuckin' exemplary."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 03:09 PM

Now THAT was fuckin' impressive.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 03:08 PM

novecentos e oito

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 02:48 PM

OOPS.

CMVII

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 02:48 PM

OK, no one is impressed. Piss on it then.

CMV

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 02:20 PM

WE ARE THERE. 1000. Nothin' left to do but fill in the blanks.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 02:16 PM

Thanks Emma B. It seems if we use this formula we can do it: Aa+Ba2+Ca3+85 billion = 1000 posts. It all seems so easy now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:53 AM

98 ways from here to there?
I think my brain hurts

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:38 AM

Congratulations on your 900 Peace - it will go down in history. The question now is will we get to 1000 before New Year? If we do we can all raise a glass to the 85 Billion thread's achievement as well as the New Year (it will be optional if you want to announce the fact publicly among friends and family or just keep it to yourself).

Our leader BDiBR will then surely give his his first, historic, New Year speach with tips and advice about how to approach 2007. I can hardly wait, he won't let us down, it'll be something real special.

So just 98 posts to go

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 08:51 PM

Or if you prefer, in Roaming Numerals

9

                            0





          0

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 08:50 PM

CM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 08:50 PM

Well, it won't reach 85 billion today, but it will by da good Lord reach

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 04:35 PM

of course they count!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 04:31 PM

Me BB. This'll be my 24th Christmas nut roast! This threads a bit nutty too.

Q. Do penguins count?
Ans. Only when they need to.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,H H
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 04:29 PM

Dear KB

so follow me follow, down to the hollow, and there let us wallow..........

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 02:44 PM

Do penguins count?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Black Beauty
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 02:41 PM

I am a vegetarian is anyone else allowing birds to live over Christmas ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 02:30 PM

I don't wish to sound pessimistic, but we may have bit off more than we can chew. Any chance we could get the thread title changed to "Will this thread reach 84 billion posts?"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 02:27 PM

A post is a post is a post. These posts have a purpose.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 10:55 AM

Dear Humiliated Hippoess,

My sincerest apologies, I guess I was just having a bad day. BTW, you have the cutest smile. Can I wallow in your mudhole?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 09:15 AM

That (inviting Shambles) has been proposed before. If I could feel confident he would stay away from his pet topic I would be glad to have him here. When he is just being a regular person he can be quite engaging. I'm serious about this, he can be very funny. My concern is he would veer away from the topic of this thread and start tilting at windmills over here. That could get us shut down. I'm pretty sure we wouldn't get to 85 Billion if that happened.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 05:23 PM

Would one of you kind people invite Shambles to this thread? He gets so fuckin' much abuse from people on HIS thread--they can't seem to leave him alone--and really, this thread needs the posts.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Humiliated hippoess
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 05:22 PM

KB - don't you know a lady when you see one?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 05:17 PM

Oooh! I'm so happy. How did you know?

There's lot's of room for him in our two-car garage.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB's Secret (and Sadistic) Santa
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 05:15 PM

be very careful what you wish for

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 05:09 PM

But I do want a Hippopotamus for Christmas (and not just the hole in his bottom).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 04:59 PM

ok then - lets get back to tradtional song

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 04:45 PM

Who you callin' elephant? I never been elephant a day in my life and I ain't about to start now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 04:38 PM

just lookin'

I dunno .... seems a bit to 'relevant' here also.


goodbye

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 04:18 PM

Like they say, "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a noose."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 03:14 PM

you're just just the sort of guys I like to hang about with

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 02:21 PM

Many threads TRY to be as stupid as this one, but they pale in comparison. And the thing is, we KNOW it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 02:09 PM

The original - and still the best.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 01:35 PM

Welcome to all you "Stupid Thread" folks. Come in and look around, pull up a seat. Stay as long as you like.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 03:59 PM

I couldn't have said it better myself. I think you have really captured the essence of the situation. Âïðî÷åì, ÿ ìîã îøèáàòüñÿ.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 03:56 PM

Thank you, thank you very much.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 03:54 PM

íî ÍÈÊÎÃÄÀ, of course, äâàæäû â ðÿäêå

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 03:52 PM

Hey KB !!

èíîãäà, ýòè âåùè êàê ðàç ñëó÷àþòñÿ åñòåñòâåííî
:-))

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 03:00 PM

Groan!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 02:57 PM

I hiked Hadrian's Wall. It was great, except for all the Picts. But that was okay, because I got lots of Pict yours.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 02:52 PM

50 cents eh, that must be about 30p? - sounds like a good deal. It's become a popular trail in the UK at the moment and everyman and his dog is doing it. Apart from the history, the most memorable things for me were getting through a number of fields with bulls in them and a regular supply of mushrooms which tasted so good, much more intense flavour than shop bought ones. Oh for the summer...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 02:30 PM

Hey IWTATBM, I was at a second hand store here in Iowa the other day and guess what I found. Nope, that's not it. I found a guide book for Hadrian's Wall. It has some nice pictures and a fair amount of explanatory text. It originally cost £1.90 but I got it for 50 cents.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 02:11 PM

Indeed it was, thanks ever so. I asked him how he did it but got no response. I really do wonder. I tried Google languages and Babblefish and got gobbledy-gook both ways.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 01:54 PM

It was what, what, what? what had good Russian

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 01:51 PM

IWTATBM had that same issue when we tried to post some Russian. Somebody else had a beautiful Russian post but never said how (don't recall who and don't want to check right now, maybe later).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 12:23 PM

?????? - it didn't look like that when I posted it :)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 12:21 PM

äÁè»ÃÐʾ¤ÇÒÁÊÓàÃç¨-Êӹǹ

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 02:24 PM

Come again?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 02:15 PM

Why must it be a seminal event? Why can't it be an ovular event? Why must you bring sexism into everything?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 01:54 PM

Yes, but would any of them have picked 85 Billion exactly? It took a rare intellect to find the one pure number, the only number that could possibly have made the 85 Billion thread what it is today. I believe that when future generations look back on our civilization, this thread will be heald up as one of our supreme achievements. Our future selves will be revered for our (and by extention, their) intimate connection to this seminal event.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 01:36 PM

Alfred E. Newman? Clem Cadillhopper? George W. Bush?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 01:22 PM

Remember without Shane there would never have been an 85 billion thread. Who else would have had the genius to come up with an 85 billion thread?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Cluin
Date: 10 Dec 06 - 02:22 AM

And the knocked up sheep around Blind River.










And by Blind River, I mean Orillia.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 06 - 01:50 AM

People have been wanting to shut Shane down for awhile too...he owes a lot of people for free beer, smokes, borrowed money, free dope...and then there is that little matter of the missing snowmobiles.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 11:10 PM

Tell 'em, Cluin.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Cluin
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 11:09 PM

Good thing I'm not a clone or I'd shut these bastards down.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 12:21 AM

"Congratulations on having reached 1/100,000,000 of your goal."

We're gettin' close.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 12:10 AM

Opps! Musta grabbed the wrong knob!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 06:38 PM

Congratulations on having reached 1/100,000,000 of your goal.


(Why is the Google ad on this page promoting a "Plastic Knob Manufacturer"? Does someone around here have a plastic knob?)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 06:01 PM

That's 850! 8-)>, Thank you, thank you! See you all at around 8500.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 05:57 PM

fifty

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 05:53 PM

and

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 05:50 PM

hundred

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 05:46 PM

eight

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 05:43 PM

reach

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 05:40 PM

that it will

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 05:36 PM

however,

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 05:33 PM

I am pretty sure,

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 05:29 PM

To be quite frank with you, the answer is no.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 11:32 AM

Duct tape

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 11:30 AM

Well Shane, it can fall of from disuse. I suggest you use epoxy or some good strong bolts....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 11:26 AM

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 07 Dec 06 - 02:17 PM

I think maybe he spent a little too much time handling his baggage.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 08:08 PM

Everybody's an art critic.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 08:05 PM

it's the cold weather out there isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 08:05 PM

No kiddin', man! Noooobody wants it to fall off and I herd that can happen if you, like, go with some of them professhional girls, eh? You gotta be careful.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 07:51 PM

"I just didn't want it to fall off."

Believe me, I understand.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 05:31 PM

And now for a bit of fun.













Well, not really, I just didn't want it to fall off.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 06:41 PM

I have it on good authority (one "Dana") that Shane, well, not even once....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 06:37 PM

Here's another vital question. Will Shane get turned down by 85 billon women?

I figure he's nearly a third of the way there already... ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 03:39 PM

Back from the ash heap.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 04:20 PM

Can't imagine what you thought I was alluding to KB I'm sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 04:03 PM

Oooh, I just looked it up. That was not among the meanings I had envisioned.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 03:06 PM

"pops their clogs"? Not one I have heard on this side of the pond. Given the context I conjured an image but don't know if it is anywhere near.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 02:15 PM

No, you won't find me on there KB - I have my pride. You know this is one of the longest running documentaries ever and it's second nature to the luvvies. As soon as their young uns are old enough to say 'mama' they clips a microphone on them and only takes it off when they pops their clogs. Disgusting if you ask me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 02:00 PM

So sorry, I must have been thinking of something else.

So then, IWTATBM, are you not in the group photo of the village that is posted on the BBC site? I was trying to pick you out but now think I may have been wasting my time.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 01:56 PM

What's with the 'soap' thing? In Ambridge we call it a 'fly on the wall' documentary. I wouldn't sign up to it myself as I didn't want my private life be known by the public. They tried all ways to persuade me, me being one of the village characters, and they only stopped pestering me when I threatened to quit the village for ever, never to return. Some folks in the village however have no shame and will do anything to escape the 'tedium of village life' as they see it. We call them 'the luvvies'.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 09:17 AM

I remember hearing something about the Archers years ago. Don't recall the context and perhaps I am mis-rembering, but I don't think so. How many radio soaps can there be that were started as aids to farmers? I would think not many.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 06:04 PM

That is bizarre. I wonder if it's a popular show in Twillingsgate?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 05:42 PM

the best laugh I've had all day

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 05:34 PM

When I put "Borcetshire" in Google it found it. The self-same one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 05:24 PM

'scuse the typo - Borsetshire of course!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 05:17 PM

Yes KB, Ambridge in Borcetshire, England - just around the corner from The Bull, the village pub. Did you know there is a Pennsylvania in England? It's in Gloucestershire and I've driven through it a number of times over the years.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 05:05 PM

OK, IWTATBM, let me get this straight. You say you live in Ambridge (and not in Pennsylvania), correct? Looks like quite the place.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 04:46 PM

Yes, good guess KB.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 04:45 PM

Um, Emma B?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 04:43 PM

Nobody's guessed which Mudcatter of the 85 billion thread I met at the Bedworth festival yet by the way.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 03:23 PM

Welcome, guru. Always nice to see a new face (even though I can not, of course, see your face).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 03:05 PM

Thanks for posting My guru - please call again. Well 85 billioners there's the 1st of the 100 extra posters I promised you as a result of my recruitment campaign at a Mudgather.

And yes, what's going on what, what, what? How come YOUR Russian looks so good? Wish I'd chosen Italian now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 09:40 AM

So, what, what, what are you doing differently? IWTATBM and my Russian looks goofy, yours looks wonderful.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: My guru always said
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 05:12 AM

Just popping in as requested! Cheers!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 02:45 PM

Fogot ii1 äëÿ òîãî ÷òîáû ñêàçàòü ÷òî illicit êîììåíòàðèé äóõîâ áûë ìîèì. Íàñòîëüêî îãîð÷åííî.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 02:28 PM

Здравствулте!. Я все еще имею людей сердитые на мне для просыпать они вверх.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 02:20 PM

Ñåãîäíÿ ÿ ãëàâíûì îáðàçîì ãîâîðþ ðóññêîãî.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 09:35 AM

"Your still my only desire"

I'm confused, Emma B. Am I to assume that she is looking to brew up a batch of illicit spirits? Thanks in advance for any light you can shed on the subject.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 27 Nov 06 - 06:28 PM

welcome home little 85 billion

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 07:47 PM

Ha! I see that the flippin' stoopid Winona Rider thread has flippin' vamished off the page. I coulda preedicted that, eh? That flippin' retread little Hawk will NEVER get anywheres near her, eh?

Meanwhile MY fliipin' amazing 85 Billions thread is drivin' on...It's over the center line! It's over the blue line! It's headin' in to SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Majerly cool, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 07:45 PM

oh

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 06:02 PM

Guess what Peace? Guess what KB? Guess what what, what, what?? Guess what Mudcatters all? You'll never guess who I've met this very evening in person, eye to eye and face to face. Go on guess (Emma B, you're not allowed to guess). I met this person at a Mudcat gathering, at a festival in a place the local's call 'Bedearth' in middle England. It was my first Mudcat meet. I TRIED to be normal, I really did, but I'm not sure how convincing I was. They asked me what my name was, I said "I was there at the beginning man, but you can call me IWTATBM if you like". They looked at me suspicious. They asked me where I was from, I said "Ambridge". They looked at me suspicious and in a way that suggested I didn't swim in reality's pond. I did try though and I pushed the 85 billion thread for all its worth. I pushed it so hard that we can expect at least 1000 extra posts by the end of the week. You'll see.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 11:48 AM

Looks like I got #800 too!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 11:47 AM

huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 11:47 AM

I have #850 reserved as I nailed #85. I'll keep you posted, posted, posted...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 11:42 AM

Surely someone wants to claim the 800th post? 800, that's not far off a 1000 is it? 1000 posts eh, we should have a virtual party on that day. Anyone good at maths know when this might be, based on the posting levels so far? That might be a good time for me to quit this thread forever, finally, and once and for all. Hmmm....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Linda Goodman Zebooker
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 03:58 PM

As a formerly flatuous, fatuous yet fribble flamingo (See Getaway 2006), I resemble Bill D's most recent remark!

So there. My contribution. Get on with it, folks. --Linda

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Scoville
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 01:50 PM

Whoa--that was close! It almost fell off the end of the page!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 06:25 PM

Not hereabouts KB we had a sparrowhawk on the birdbath today - looking for lunch no doubt

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: autolycus
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 06:12 PM

Am I right for Southampton?






      Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 05:10 PM

Thanks, Emma B.
It took a few days before I stopped checking for her when I got into bed so I wouldn't squish her. At least the birds can eat in peace now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 05:03 PM

sorry KB

Housemate, I can think you still
Bounding to the window-sill,
Over which I vaguely see
Your small mound beneath the tree,
Showing in the autumn shade
That you moulder where you played.


Thomas Hardy

my housemate lies under snowdrops where she sunned herself in happier days

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 04:57 PM

BTW, our cat died (see posts from 14 Sept if you wonder). She had a growth in her cheek. It got to the point where she couldn't eat and could hardly take a drink. A couple of times she started bleeding from the mouth. I had to take her to the vet, the wife and kids wouldn't have dealt with that too well. It wasn't much fun for me either, but not nearly as bad as taking my dog some years back.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 04:52 PM

Not posting to a thread... I think it's been done.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 04:34 PM

possibly.........

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 04:25 PM

I've decided not to post here tonight. Anybody else not posting either?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 12:28 PM

This one was a bit more memorable than most.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 11:30 AM

That was a very weird dream indeed KB. And here's you saying earlier you couldn't remember them.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 09:27 AM

Last night I had a crazy dream
About a chick in a black bikini
Oh she looked so good she couldn't be real
So she must be a magic genie
But then she disappeared around a corner
All I saw were three doors and the top of her bikini
I made it through the first door there was a party going on
I asked about the chick but what they said was this

REFRAIN
Chick-a-boom chick-a-boom don't ya jes' love it
Chick-a-boom chick-a-boom don't ya jes' love it
Chick-a-boom chick-a-boom don't ya jes' love it
Chick-a-boom chick-a-boom-boom-boom

I found the bottom half
By the second door
Which took me to Africa I presume
This really far out cat was screaming half crazy
"Bomp bom a loo bom a lomp bam boo"
I said hey man cut that jive
And tell me where the chick went
But he looked at me as crazed as could be
And said these words but I wonder what he meant

REFRAIN

Ah don't ya jes' love it
Ooh don't ya jes' love it
Don't ya love it don't ya love it
Oh yeah don't ya love jes' it
Don't ya jes' love it now

I opened the third door and there she was
And She just looked so sexy and oh ooh
I tried to do the same and impress her with my style
But why I said this I'll never know

REFRAIN

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 08:44 PM

to (K) b or not to (K) b......

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 05:34 PM

"To sleep? Perchance to dream!
Ay there's the kitten! For in that sleep of house cats what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal feline, must give us paws..."
OK, it needs a little editing, but I might be onto something here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 05:18 PM

Dreamgate of course.

Goodnight and sweet .....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 05:15 PM

About what?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 05:06 PM

You've built all our hopes up about the dream and now you say you've forgotten it? Is there nothing you remember at all?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 05:03 PM

I'm awake now. Don't really remember much about the dream. I've always been that way. I'll wake up with these vivid images bouncing around in my head and within a couple of minutes I'm hard pressed to recall any of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 05:00 PM

Yes, yes, yes, and?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 04:58 PM

I just had the strangest dream...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 04:19 PM

did someone call?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 03:53 PM

I've had a think and realised that i shouldn't have doubted the fact that you've woken up 5 people what, what, what? Of course you have or you wouldn't have said it. I don't know what you do next though, I didn't think that far. I guess some of them are pretty annoyed. Could you blame me?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 03:30 PM

3 more people and I've achieved my 5 (by wake I meant post myself). I have doubts whether you really have woken up 5 people what, what what? Have you really really woken up 5 people genuinely?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 03:26 PM

OK
I've just woken up five people.

NOW
what the hell do I do ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 03:23 PM

Maybe I was a little over optimistic. OK wake up 5 people.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 03:19 PM

"Wake up 85 billioners!!"

It's everything I can do to wake myself up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 03:18 PM

Wake up 85 billioners!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 04:04 PM

Loved the video Emma B. Yes it does seem that the cat will always come back - though this one is more welcome!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 04:44 PM

Believe it!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 01:31 PM

It was eerie. I would hit my bookmark, the little blue line would slowly grow, and then, nothing. No 404 error, no 'forbidden' message, nothing. Oh, well.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 02:26 PM

What happened yesterday? No Mudcat at all, not even a note saying it was offline for a bit. First I thought that Mudcat and the 85 billion thread had perhaps been just a dream. Then I thought there might be a conspiracy involved: the powers that be realising we were a force to be reckoned with picnicked and pulled the plug. So I said my fond farewells to you all and wondered if you were all thinking the same. Then I started a book, something I haven't done for ages. I blame Mudcat for this mix up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 04:22 PM

Ain't no pen mightier than my sword!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 03:54 PM

Well, it was!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 06:12 PM

This is more like it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 05:48 PM

I see what you mean

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 05:41 PM

Yeah, but when he wears a hat nobody can tell.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 05:37 PM

Me neither, but i think he's got a point.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 05:23 PM

Huh? I don't get it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 05:22 PM

And they're pre-tenderized!

I do think that if you cannot define the controversial threads your education is lacking in scope, depth, and width, and I will not presume to correct it by demonstrating what is obvious to any semi-educated person.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 05:21 PM

Then again, maybe I have driving past an Opossum. Do I detect another controversy?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 05:17 PM

You impossumable, that's what you are....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:57 PM

I have been driving past a possum twice a day for the last week so catching one shouldn't be a problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:53 PM

your wish is my command KB

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:52 PM

I think The Shambles might really be the hornets nest we shouldn't poke. I sometimes wonder if he reads threads like this. When he isn't tilting at windmills he can be quite funny. My concern is that this would turn into a second front, he is only allowed one at a time. It could potentially shut this thread down. We probably wouldn't make it to 85 billion if that happened.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:52 PM

Flagrantly flatulent flamingos flamboyantly flagellate floral flotillas.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:44 PM

Mmmmm.... Possum pancakes. Now I'm hungry. I think I'll go make dinner. Emma, could you give me a hand? Thanks ever so.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:41 PM

Rapaire, you were the first to spot the controversy hidden stealthily in KBs post. Can you establish the two main arguments clearly for me please? I know I'm planning to side with Shambles on this one, but just in case he can't handle the heat and decides not to post I suppose I ought to form my own opinion. If I really must.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:30 PM

Those are not with us are against us! If you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem, and vice versa. The only thing in the middle of the road is a possum pancake!

Mugwump.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:29 PM

ok have one each
now shake on it!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:28 PM

I think I'll be on Shambles side if he posts. Then after his lenghthy argument I can post 'I agree'. Why has he never posted here do you think?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:25 PM

I might be a fence sitter on this one, then again, I might not.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:24 PM

Fence sitter eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:23 PM

Oh, dear. I seem to have stirred the pot a bit. Poked a stick in the proverbial hornets nest as it were. Time to take the gloves off and have at it I say. BTW, I didn't say "give yourself a hand" I said "give ourselves a hand." I suppose since it was ourselves it should have been hands, otherwise there wouldn't be enough to round. Of course, I don't get one anyway so that leaves it to the rest of you to fight it out. Go ahead, I'll just watch.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:21 PM

This could turn out to be the biggest controversy yet seen on Mudcat. KB how could you? I'll have to consider which side I'm taking. Can't rush this one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:18 PM

Give that lad a big hand

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 04:16 PM

Give yourself a hand? Give YOURSELF a hand???? Seldom have I read or heard anything more salacious, more disgusting, more explicit than that! What's next -- "Let's give each other a hand"? Before you know it we'll have passed the point of no return on the Primrose Path to Politics and Perdition!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 03:58 PM

It almost always drops off over the weekend. We (well, not me) did a better job than usual this time around. Let's give ourselves (again, excluding me) a hand. This isn't too controversial is it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 13 Nov 06 - 03:49 PM

Not if it drops off the page . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Nov 06 - 03:53 PM

In that case I don't want to get involved. I'm not doing controversies this evening.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 12 Nov 06 - 03:52 PM

Evidently.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Nov 06 - 03:51 PM

Is this a controversy? i can't work it out.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 12 Nov 06 - 03:45 PM

Explicit, eloquent, exact.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Nov 06 - 03:44 PM

Ecclesiastical erudition eloquently exacerbates evidentiary expediency.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 12 Nov 06 - 03:10 PM

Oh. Me too.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 12 Nov 06 - 03:02 PM

I'm just refreshing this thread as I pass through the forum. I have nothing much to say at the moment (really) and am not in the mood for a controversy of any description. So in saying this I will pass on.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 10 Nov 06 - 01:26 PM

Hello fellow 85 billioners. I've been away. On holiday. To the jungle. No internet there. Couldn't post. You understand. See you kept the ol' place ticking over, while I was away. That's good to see. It's good to be back.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 10 Nov 06 - 01:20 PM

Glad to see you are paying attention Winona. We are doing what we can to get the two of you together. It has proved an arduous task but we are strong and shall prevail. Have you posted to the 5000 thread? It has become quite the lively place these days.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Winona
Date: 09 Nov 06 - 03:00 PM

Why Little Hawk, I was only waiting for you to ask. My li'l heart's all a-pitter-patter.

W.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Nov 06 - 09:47 AM

Will Winona Ryder ever post on this thread? I'm bettin' not.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Nov 06 - 09:44 AM

GUEST, KB, probably when you first went to the main forum page, the thread had had spam added which refreshed it, but by the time you clicked on it, the spam had been removed. Then if you went back to the main forum page using the back button, that would mean that main page still wasn't refreshed, but when you clicked on the thread again, of course it still showed up the way you saw it the first time.

I'll bet if you had refreshed the main page at any stage instead of using the back button, the thread would have been gone. Just a matter of timing. The clones don't leave the spam there very long.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 09 Nov 06 - 09:21 AM

So if spam was added and the thread came back onto the front page would it stay there even if the spam post was deleted? If so then that would explain it. There was no spam post at the end of the thread when I read it (listed as having 149 posts) but maybe it had already been removed.
That was me on 8 Nov @ 3:24 btw.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 06 - 09:14 AM

Only in base 10, Peace. Only in base 10.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Nov 06 - 09:05 AM

Possibly an easy answer to the disappearing thread is that it was refreshed by a spammer and when the spam was removed the thread dropped off again. That has happened with quite a few threads, only they usually refresh old music threads rather than BS ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 08 Nov 06 - 11:53 PM

OK. The greatest conspiracy of all time is this:

2 + 2 = 4

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Nov 06 - 08:13 PM

one way to reach 85 billion is to introduce an extremely controversial concept like abortion or politics :) and get a bunch o' peeps with very strong opposing views, and let them battle it out for a few years. either that or hack the website and just pretend it reached 85 billion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Nov 06 - 03:24 PM

OK, I found it. The thread title is "Multiple Personality Disorder" and the most recent post is from 27 Oct, 2004. Now there are 148 posts, on Monday there were 149. I know you were all getting terribly anxious about this.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 08 Nov 06 - 03:16 PM

Lemon Tree very pretty

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 06 - 03:02 PM

To bathe in lemon SAUCE is one thing, and very likely quick a sticky experience. To bathe in lemon JUICE would be quite another, and probably a bit acidic. In either case you will leave the bath with a lovely fresh scent and attract comment from others.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 08 Nov 06 - 02:23 PM

So on Monday I saw a thread about posting (as a guest) under multiple psuedonyms. The person who started the thread did this regularly and wondered what others thought about it. It was an interesting thread, most of the responses were negative but a couple of folks didn't mind or even did it themselves sometimes. After reading a few posts I saw that the thread was started in 2000. I got to the end (149 posts, I didn't read each of them all the way through) and realized that the last post on page three was from 2004. I thought maybe I had done something odd and that there must be a more recent post. I went back to the main forum page and the thread was still there with 149 posts. I got into it again and the last post was from 2004. I looked again later and the thread was gone. I don't remember the title or I would have searched for it (I might be able to find it anyway but haven't tried). I just thought the whole thing was kind of weird.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,oldguitarman
Date: 08 Nov 06 - 11:10 AM

just glad to do my part...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 07 Nov 06 - 01:47 PM

Oh.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 07 Nov 06 - 01:16 PM

Towels



Towels are the most useful thing it is possible to have handy in a crisis. One of the first things that Ford Prefect did for Arthur Dent after the demolition of the Earth was to equip him with a towel.
They can be used for snaring birds whilst falling from a three-mile high marble statue.

They can be used to signal temporally unstable spaceships by fossilizing them in planetary strata.

They can be soaked in nutrients to provide sustenance in awkward situations (Although, as Zaphod Beeblebrox found, this is not a terribly tasty solution to hunger).

They can also do a really good job of drying between your toes.

The Hitchhiker's Guide is full of suggestions for successful towel deployment. It is worth noting that a cup of white vinegar in a wash will help keep your towels fluffy and soft.



   
more about towels than you will ever need to know

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 07 Nov 06 - 12:37 PM

And what would be the use of towels if theuy were made from non-absorbent material?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 07 Nov 06 - 11:42 AM

Dunno, but it would save a fortune on towels

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 07 Nov 06 - 11:21 AM

What then would it be like to bathe in lemon sauce?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 06 - 11:19 AM

Sort of a U-shape, I guess.

But you could bite your toenails a lot more easily.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 07 Nov 06 - 11:01 AM

What would chairs look like if your knees bent the other way?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 02:15 PM

Yer tis

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 02:03 PM

Did someone say
Bubbles ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 01:58 PM

hi Honey - I'm home

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 01:53 PM

Just needs some bubbles in it is all.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 01:33 PM

I was thinking the earth was a little flat myself, so I called the tuner. Should be sounding better by tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 01:22 PM

Friggin' right.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 01:21 PM

P'raps that's where it started to go wrong for IWTATBM and his altered ego IWHATBM
Where did 'E go anyway ?

hmmmmmm
Did he misunderstand gold mine and thought you meant the pits ?
Waddyathink ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 01:15 PM

IWHATBM will be back. Looks at the topics we discuss: chicken shit, turkey shit, flat Earth--this thread is a gold mine.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 12:32 PM

You know, since IWTATBM has forsaken us, I just can't get motivated. Please come back. I'm begging, I'm pleading, I'm down on my knees imploring you, please come back. Or not, whatever.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 12:27 PM

700

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 12:27 PM

I don't know about chicken shit but there is a turkey farm about 5 miles outside the town where I live. That shit stinks.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 04:45 AM

Chickenshit stuff. Speaking of which, what do y'all think of chickenshit? Not that fake kind--the REAL thing. Well?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 06:30 AM

Eu recuso apavorar-se. É treasonous abandonar seus amigos. Você retornará enlightened. A paz reinará outra vez.
Eh ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 03:50 PM

This thread is all washed up
It has no place to go
So I'm off to to join the 5000ers
Farewell and cherio

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 01:13 PM

It has points in all directions
It has pleats so cannot fold
It will replenish iself anew when the reserves turn up
as long as we don't drop the baton
OK ?

(and just for you:
It said "Hey - I was there at the beginning man - Keep smiling. Eh?")
*big grin*

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 01:07 PM

I can't compete with you What, what, what? You've got the gold. But again I ask, will this thread fold?

(Sim mas mim não compreenda o que você disse)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 12:56 PM

Oh ye of little feet
The marathon man will returneth
The podium awaits

ok ok ok
I'll stop medalling now

Hey - eu havia no homem de começo - mantem-se sorrir. Eh ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 12:52 PM

Has this thread gone as far as it can and is it pointless? Better

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 12:46 PM

Is this thread shot? Put what you want. Hmmmm

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 12:41 PM

"Has this thread run its course? Discuss."

No. It hasn't. Javelin.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 12:38 PM

Has this thread run its course? Discuss.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 12:21 PM

I have a fear of Blatz

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 10:19 PM

Oh yeah? What about a flat of beer?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 09:29 PM

Billiard balls are flat. In fact, everything is flat except good beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 09:20 PM

Thank you. Back in a few weeks.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 07:34 PM

Here you go

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 06:47 PM

Billiard balls.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 04:34 PM

Earth's a funny one for controversy Peace. Do you have anything a little smaller?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 04:27 PM

Now that is pretty contentious.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 04:25 PM

I've always found some of the earth is flat, while other bits are lumpy. But I'm not a scientist so I don't know that for sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 04:04 PM

I tried to join, but they won't accept some of my answers. They seem not to recognize 'petunia' as a colour, and they don't like 'jujubes' as my favourite mineral. So piss on it. My new theory is this: The world IS round, like a saucer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 03:54 PM

Sign up NOW!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 03:34 PM

I have just come to the realizatiuon that the Earth is flat.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 02:52 PM

Anyone got a good controversy?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 31 Oct 06 - 02:50 PM

Refresh

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: autolycus
Date: 30 Oct 06 - 04:04 PM

That's easy for YOU to say.




    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 06 - 03:57 PM

什麼是英語和數學?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 30 Oct 06 - 03:43 PM

Hello todos,

See we're back to English then. And what do I find on my return? A whole day passed by with no posts. If this continues the 5000ers (remember them?) will be on our tails and we'll be back to challenging them to 'first to' again.

It all seems mathematical around here at the moment.

That's it really.

Adeus

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: autolycus
Date: 28 Oct 06 - 04:45 AM

Age of Earth being 4.5 billion years
precisely, there have been exactly
.45 billion decades,ok?


   No prize for me,I suppose. tsz.
k (from and as in kettle)see? k. k.




   I don't look forward to someone
asking how many words in total have
ever been spoken , not to mention
how many were worth saying.




    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 10:37 PM

OK then. Piss on you. Don't answer me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 05:43 PM

OK. A decade is 10 years, right? So, like, let me ask the question THIS way: "How many ten-years have there been?" Ten being the whole number located between nine and eleven. Or located in the exact middle of eight and twelve, or Montreal and Toronto.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 05:18 PM

Shucks, G. Bush just quoted stuff that happened Feb. 30!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 01:51 PM

My long term memory is OK but my short term must be slipping. Try as I might I can remember nothing that happened on Feb 29, 2006.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 01:19 PM

hmmm...I remember Jan, 1945!...and April. I was in a rail yard in Dalhart, Texas....my mother was crying because someone told her FDR had died.....and I ate Hamburger Steak & French Fries in a restaurant where they played "Sioux City Sue" on the jukebox.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 12:35 PM

Any advance on one?




    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 27 Oct 06 - 10:27 AM

Neil Young had an album called "Decade" so that is one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: autolycus
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 06:10 PM

Re alternative numberings for centuries and decades, I'm ecstatically happy to agree to differ.
   
    peace. How many decades have there been? IIIIIIIIIII don't know.


    That'd be one way to get to 85 billion,
trying to answer that.





    ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 05:59 PM

Yeah .... January '45 was a long time ago.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 05:24 PM

I remember absolutely NOTHING about January 1945. It's like a total blank in my memory.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 04:17 PM

I don't have anything to say.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 01:36 AM

OK. I'm gettin' real screwed up here. How many decades have there been?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Oct 06 - 01:24 AM

What '50s?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 09:34 PM

I can't remember much about the early 1950's.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 04:47 PM

MY GAWD. So, I DO remember the '60s. YEAH.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 03:17 PM

The above was one of mine

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 03:17 PM

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Just to point out that the 50s ended in December 1960,and the 70s began January 1971.
   Because there never was any such thing as 0 A.D. All follows from that fact.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

OK, I will always argue that the 21st century didn't begin until Jan 1, 2001 due the no year 0 thing. I don't think that "the 60's" and such needs to follow the same logic. If you mean the seventh decade of the 20th century then yes. But I don't see how October 1970 can be part of "the 60's", it just doesn't make sense to me. I see it two separate numbering systems.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 03:12 PM

We've never had bags or anything like them on our vacuums. It's called "recycling."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 03:10 PM

No bag on the one we have now but some do and I always thought most used to. Maybe I only thought that because ours always did. Hmm... makes you think.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 12:58 PM

"You did take the bag off the vacuum to look through it, didn't you?"

There's a bag on a vacuum?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: autolycus
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 12:17 PM

Just to point out that the 50s ended in December 1960,and the 70s began January 1971.
   Because there never was any such thing as 0 A.D. All follows from that fact.

   No chance of reaching 85 billion going down this route though. The arguments in my ;locker are strong as anything.




    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 10:59 AM

You did take the bag off the vacuum to look through it, didn't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 09:54 AM

"The only f$%#@%%% time in your life you vacuum is the time I have dropped a piece of hash on the rug!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 09:29 AM

Yah know, when you ARE in the 60s it's easier than when you WERE in the '60s. Back then everyone wanted you to remember where the stash was and now they just say, "Dumb bastard forgot agin."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 04:37 AM

What '60s? I went to sleep on December 31, 1959 and woke up January 1, 1970. I didn't know where I was. It was pink on the map, so it musta been Canada.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KateSkate
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 03:30 AM

I remember but I forget what

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 10:08 PM

I remember the 60's ... it seemed like a long,long time ago.

We were younger then.


weren't we?


biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 10:05 PM

Good to see this thread is still lacking in meaning, clarity, function, and most of the social graces. But it is one post closer to its stated goal of 85 billion posts.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: autolycus
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 04:55 PM

I remember the 50s - all jelly, football, Hancock's Half Hour, Take It From Here, and the lights coming back on after the 40s. And Matthews' Cup Final. And my first kiss, aged c. 9 - well the other boys forced me to kiss both twins they thought I was interested in. Then I could back to the important matter of playing football.

So if either of the Elder twins is reading this............


One nearer to 85 billion - this is a doddle.




    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 03:24 PM

I remember the '60s -- I spent the first part in high school, the middle part in college, and the last part in the Army.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:59 PM

I think I remember spending some of the 60s here

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:51 PM

I remember the 60's so well that I wish I could go straight back there right now and make much better use of them than I did at the time!

I remember like it was frikkin' YESTERDAY. Pity it's gone forever.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:40 PM

Bill D, I remember the 60's but the 70's are a little hazy (and I spent them in Iowa).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:38 PM

Yeah, but I really haven't seen that sort of thing (though I may now). I was thinking more in terms of the PM'ing and things like that. How much do people use the features that being a member unlocks?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:38 PM

""If you can remember the '60s, then you weren't there."
    -Anon"

I can remember the 60s....I spent them in....Kansas.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,GUEST,KB
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:27 PM

You're all a bunch of effin a-holes around here, I'm smarter and wittier than the lot of you.

Still don't know what the practical benefits are?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:20 PM

"If you can remember the '60s, then you weren't there."
    -Anon

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:18 PM

So what do you folks think, should I join? What would I really gain by doing so? I've looked at some of the information about it but still don't know what the practical benefits are.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:11 PM

Hey go easy on Peace KB - you know he lived "the 60's" after all.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:11 PM

LOL

Gotcha.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 05:02 PM

Thanks for the thought Peace. It would be even nicer if you got my name right, it's KB, not KT. That's OK. I don't mind really. It's better than being ignored. The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 03:43 PM

I knew all about grass. Still do. It grows in my front and back yards, all around the Library, up in the hills, all over. There's big bluestem, gramma, blue, buffalo, fescue, rye, just all sorts of grass. I even have a special machine to cut it when it gets too tall.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 03:23 PM

Uh, not that I personally had any first-hand experience with the substance about which the book was written. But a friend of mine did and he told me all about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 03:21 PM

"Now I can astound my friends with my new word. Well, I could if I had any friends."

We all love you, KT.

Also, I mentioned the vinyl record, "A Child's Garden of Grass." It is a hoot. Based on the book of the same name--I read that, too--and here is a review. The record after a hoot WAS a hoot.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 02:04 PM

Here's a review from Amazon for you KB:

A precious Seventies classic, August 25, 2005
Reviewer:        Jack Jackinowicz - See all my reviews
I discovered this book at the library of the Catholic elementary school I went to around 1973. Yep, apparently the nun in charge of buying books was browsing the bestseller list and assumed from the title that it was a childrens' book. Ha haaaaw!! Rick D. and I checked it out in turns and loved it. Of course its content was soon discovered and it was removed from the library (no doubt incinerated), but Rick and I did a joint order (heh heh) to Pocket Books and got each of ourselves a copy. I haven't laid eyes on this title for nearly twenty years, but I can still quote it at length. Like the part that warns you not to get *too* good at rolling joints, because you'll end up sitting in the corner rolling your stupid joints while everyone is going down to the lake for skinny dipping. Or the intro, where the authors say they don't smoke grass and never have, everything in the book is based on what their friend "Ernie Lundquist" told them. Or that nothing is bad when you're stoned, except getting arrested, and even *that's* a learning experience. Or that the results of using a "steamboat" (their term for a big glass waterless bong) would make "even the mighty Zeus shake his head in disbelief." Or referring to the things you will do stoned and not get bored or feel silly, like picking lint off your dog or watching The Flying Nun. I actually think of this book often, after all this time. Highly recommended, even if you've never had a puff in your life (which is, looking back on the effects grass had on my life, my recommendation).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 12:58 PM

Somebody mentioned that book before, don't know if it was this thread or not. I would like to see it but can't imagine it's available. I would have really liked it about 20 years ago. I still have some things from that era that bring a smile to my face to this day.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 11:35 AM

I used to have a very funny book called A Child's Garden of Grass. Mind you, I didn't understand it -- I mean, why would you want to clean out the seeds? -- but I was told by very knowledgable people that it was hilarious.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 11:27 AM

That explains it, then. I haven't heard dosh on this side of the pond before. Now I can astound my friends with my new word. Well, I could if I had any friends.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 11:11 AM

Dosh = money   it is possible that it comes from the old symbols for British pre decimal currency i.e. D or Sh (pence or shillings)

Dough, moolah, rhino, spondulicks... there are more slang words for money than for anything else apart from sex and drink

more than you probably will ever need to know about words for money

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 10:57 AM

You want a peace of Dosh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 08:18 PM

Dosh?????

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 07:58 PM

refish

don't let this worthy thread fall of the bottom folks - I want all that dosh Peace!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 10:47 PM

Dave Who ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 08:52 PM

That was a very funny record: "A Child's Garden of Grass."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 08:46 PM

Should have said:

No, I'm Dave. I got the stuff man, open up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 08:45 PM

Dave, it's me. I got the stuff, man, open up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 07:13 PM

he's here...or here....or over there....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 07:02 PM

What .....



Dave's not here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 06:58 PM

He keeps his stash in his shower curtain rod.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 06:56 PM

Uh .... Dave's not here.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 05:21 PM

Onde a este tempo IWTATBM? Apressar-se para trás, nós tentará ao soldado sobre quando você estiver ausente.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 05:11 PM

Nós o perderemos e olhar adiante a seu retorno.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 05:08 PM

Eu dormirei bem hoje à noite também. Eu estou todo no feriado para um do da semana assim todos farewell.... por uma semana. Adeus para agora. (não para sempre!)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 05:02 PM

could be worse - could be Vogon
click here for a poetry reading - if you dare!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 05:00 PM

Era um acidente. Arranhava meu cajones e eu bato no botão errado.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:51 PM

(Peace dito)"Eu pareço ter comutado a Martian"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:50 PM

Agradecimentos, IWTATBM. É meu primeiro borne do marco miliário. Eu dormirei bem hoje à noite.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:49 PM

I seem to have switched to Martian.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:47 PM

ÄÍÐĵķ½Ê½»¹ÊÇ·½Ê½Ë®¡£

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:41 PM

Katia Guerreiro tem uma voz bonita. Compre 'Fado Maior'

Felicitações em 600 KB

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:39 PM

600

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:38 PM

Portuguese lyrics - what fun!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:35 PM

Você é um número romântico seis. Isto é liso.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:33 PM

Portugese - at it's finest

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:29 PM

Nelly Furtado faz minha dor de cabeça ir embora.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:28 PM

No peace ...... Astrud Giberto

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:27 PM

That looked better with Chinese characters.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:26 PM

Ò²ÐíÎÒÃÇÓ¦¸ÃÈ¥ÄÇЩ±»Ó¢Óï²»ÊǵÚÒ»ÓïÑÔ.ÏëÏëÔõôÑùÄܸü¿ì85000000000Èç¹û¿ÉÒÔ½èÖúÓÚÊ®ÒÚÖйúÈË.<Í·ÄÔ.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:26 PM

Nelly Furtado. Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:25 PM

Oh ... ok ... then how about

Olha que coisa mais linda, Mais cheia de graça, É ela menina, Que vem que passa
Num doce balanço, caminho do mar
                                          
Moça do corpo dourado, Do sol de Ipanema, O seu balançado é mais que um poema
É a coisa mais linda que eu já vi passar
Ah, porque estou tão sozinho, Ah, porque tudo é tão triste, Ah, a beleza que existe
A beleza que não é só minha, Que também passa sozinha
Ah, se ela soubesse, Que quando ela passa, O mundo sorrindo se enche de graça
E fica mais lindo, Por causa do amor


sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:21 PM

And remember, ad praesens ova cras pullis sunt meliora.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:19 PM

Eu teria que causar toda a sorte do quibble mas parece-me que a lama no português é realmente lama. Hmmm… Eu quero saber como o lama traduzirá do inglês no português?

ALIMENTAR A LAMA!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:19 PM

Dave's not here, man!

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:19 PM

Eu não compreendo o que você diz a Peace? Fale o português por favor.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:11 PM

Fuckin' right, mano.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 04:01 PM

Eu fui dito uma vez (por alguém que falou ambos) que o português é rather como o espanhol mau. Eu não tinha sabido antes aquele que eu falei o português.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 03:29 PM

Torta e chá da lama de Ahh. Idéia boa que, que, que. Você soa muito inteligente que, que, que.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 03:23 PM

Eu estava lá no homem de começo estou dizendo um farewell multi lingüístico extravagant outra vez. Tenha uma fatia do mudpie preferivelmente e um copo de chá eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 03:08 PM

Hello todos,
A palavra para a mud no português é lama. Eu não falo o português eu mesmo. Adeus para sempre.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 12:15 PM

Bobad ... done the Highway 61 drive from Memphis down to New Orleans ... in a Jeep Wrangler .... and a great memorable trip it was.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 09:39 AM

I live about 20 miles from the Mississippi well north of St. Louis. There are a lot of dams up this way but my brother canoed from somewhere in Minnesota to St. Louis so it can be done. He said he had a really good time. He didn't specifically mention the mud.

BEAT THE MUD!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 09:35 AM

I'm glad to see you come clean.

That's a trip I have always wanted to and will, one day, make - except not by water, rather by driving Highway 61 in my VW Westfalia.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 06 - 09:26 AM

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Well, that can be cured. Just take a raft down the Mississippi from St. Louie to Nawlins or even further south. I'd suggest the whole river, but there's a bunch of dams above St. Louie.

I will, in the interest of full disclosure and bad taste, note that when we sang that little ditty while in college we ofttimes substituted the word "meat" for "feet" and thereby added a whole new dimension to the song.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 11:45 PM

You want mud songs? Here's one:

The Hippopotamus Song

Words by Michael Flanders
Music by Donald Swann and Michael Flanders

A bold Hippopotamus was standing one day
On the banks of the cool Shalimar.
He gazed at the bottom as it peacefully lay
By the light of the evening star.

Away on the hilltop sat combing her hair
His fair Hippopotamine maid.
The Hippopotamus was no ignoramus
And sang her this sweet serenade.

Mud! Mud! Glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud.

The fair Hippopotamus he aimed to entice,
From here seen on the hilltop above,
As she hadn't got a ma to give her advice,
Came tip-toeing down to her love.

Like thunder the forest re-echoed the sound
Of the song that they sang as they met.
His enamorata adjusted her garter
And lifted her voice in duet.

Mud! Mud! Glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud.

Now more Hippopotami began to convene
On the banks of that river so wide.
I wonder now what am I to say of the scene
That ensued by the Shalimar side?

They dived all at once with an ear-splitting splash,
Then rose to the surface again,
A regular army of Hippopotami
All singing this haunting refrain.

Mud! Mud! Glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 07:16 PM

Pardon my cultural illiteracy, I guess I've been hanging out with the wrong people.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 07:12 PM

Gracious sakes! The cultural illiteracy that abounds where you least expect it!

When the sun goes down, the tide goes out,
The people gather 'round and they all begin to shout,
"Hey! Hey! Uncle Dud,
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud.
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud".
What a dance do they do!
Lordy, how I'm tellin' you...
They don't need no band...
They keep time by clappin' their hand...
Just as happy as a cow chewin' on a cud,
When the people beat their feet on the Mississippi Mud.
Lordy, how they play it!
Goodness, how they sway it!
Uncle Joe, Uncle Jim,
How they pound the mire with vigor and vim!
Joy! that music thrills me!
Boy! it nearly kills me!
What a show when they go!
Say! they beat it up either fast or slow.When the sun goes down, the tide goes
out,
The people gather 'round and they all begin to shout,
"Hey! Hey! Uncle Dud,
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud.
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud".
What a dance do they do!
Lordy, how I'm tellin' you...
They don't need no band...
They keep time by clappin' their hand.
Just as happy as a cow chewin' on a cud.
When the people beat their feet on the Mississippi Mud.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: autolycus
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 07:05 PM

Why do so many not use the simple option re mudslinging namely;

If you get mud slung your way, ignore it, pretend it didn't happen.

Why bother responding (I think, for once 'reacting' is the right word), why bother reacting to every bit of mud slung?

   That may or may not mean that mud-slinging would eventually cease. Why allow yourself to get caught up in it? i don't like being ignored and I may be in the majority about that. I just think mud-slingers feed off reactions.

And interestingly, from a psychological point of view, the recipient of 'mud' is probably not the REAL target anyway, (See Laura Huxley's book You are Not the Target.



    Ivor

BTW. If we counter each letter we type as a separate post, might we hit the target?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 07:03 PM

Well I stand corrected but that's not how I always heard it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 06:58 PM

Alternate Lyrics by Bobby Darin & Johnny Mercer (1961)


DARIN: Hey, John, you ever been to Mississippi?
MERCER: No, man, but I sure would like to visit down there.
DARIN: You would?
MERCER: Yeah
DARIN: Well, I'll tell you what then, let us hop on a plane and went.
MERCER: OK, I hear it's very nice.
DARIN: It is, it is.

MERCER: When the sun goes down, the tide goes out
The people gather 'round and they all begin to shout
DARIN: What?
MERCER: "Hey, hey, Uncle Dud,
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi mud
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi mud."

DARIN: And what a dance do they do!
Lordy how I'm telling you
Why they don't need no band
They keep time by clapping their hands
BOTH: Just as happy as a cow chewing on a cud
When the people beat their feet on the Mississippi mud.

(Instrumental Break)

DARIN: Lordy how they play it, goodness how they sway it
There's Uncle George and Cousin Jack,
Look at those fools peckin' on their back.
MERCER: What joy that music thrills me,
DARIN: It do?
MERCER: Boy, it nearly kills me.
Sister Kate hollers, "Son,
You sure get muddy, but it's mighty good fun"

BOTH:When the sun goes down, the tide goes out
The people gather round and they all begin to shout
"Hey, hey, Uncle Dud,
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi mud
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi mud."

DARIN: What a dance do they do!
BOTH: Lordy, how I'm telling you
MERCER: They don't need no band.
DARIN: They don't?
MERCER: They keep time by clapping their hands
DARIN: I see
MERCER: Just as happy as a cow chewing on a cud
When the people beat their feet
DARIN: Yeah, yeah
MERCER: And the people clap their hands
On the M I double S I double S I double P I mud!
DARIN: An 'A' for spelling!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 06:57 PM

MISSISSIPPI MUD
(James Cavanaugh / Harry Barris)

Paul Whiteman & His Orch. (vocal: Irene Taylor & Bing Crosby) - 1928
Frankie Trumbauer & His Orch. (vocal: Bing Crosby) - 1928
Kid Ory's Creole Jazz Band - 1954
The McGuire Sisters - 1956
Joy Bryan - 1957
Ray Charles - 1960
Bobby Darin & Johnny Mercer - 1961
Jim Kweskin - 1968
The Muppets - 1977
D.C. Anderson - 1997
BSQ - 1998
Also recorded by: Dinah Shore; Bix Beiderbecke; Bob Crosby; Lawrence Welk; Lester Lanin; The Platters;
Johnny Wiggs; Pasadena Roof Orchestra.


When the sun goes down, the tide goes out,
The people gather 'round and they all begin to shout,
"Hey! Hey! Uncle Dud,
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud.
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud".

What a dance do they do!
Lordy, how I'm tellin' you...
They don't need no band...
They keep time by clappin' their hand...
Just as happy as a cow chewin' on a cud,
When the people beat their feet on the Mississippi Mud.

Lordy, how they play it!
Goodness, how they sway it!
Uncle Joe, Uncle Jim,
How they pound the mire with vigor and vim!
Joy! that music thrills me!
Boy! it nearly kills me!
What a show when they go!
Say! they beat it up either fast or slow.

When the sun goes down, the tide goes out,
The people gather 'round and they all begin to shout,
"Hey! Hey! Uncle Dud,
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud.
It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud".

What a dance do they do!
Lordy, how I'm tellin' you...
They don't need no band...
They keep time by clappin' their hand.
Just as happy as a cow chewin' on a cud.
When the people beat their feet on the Mississippi Mud.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 06:53 PM

Beat you feet???

I don't think that's how it goes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 06:49 PM

I am quite familiar with the mud of the Mississippi and that picture looks (and, I am certain, smells) nothing at all like it. Of course it really IS a treat to beat your feet in the Mississippi mud, and I heartily endorse it!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 06:00 PM

and now - the song!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:59 PM

circle them all and put them in a MUD RING

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:54 PM

I'd just like to say goodnight to you all. Hope you all have very pleasant evenings and sleep well. I still don't quite understand mud though.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:49 PM

In the words of Lenny Bruce, "Men would shtoop mud." So be careful where you dine.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:46 PM

By golly, he's done it. THERE is a slogan to get drunk for and maybe even hungover.

EAT THE MUD!

I just said it ten times fast. It has a real ring to it. That would have been a battle cry to beat all.

However, it could have had disastrous results in the Mexican Revolution, because then folks would have been homeless.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:44 PM

EAT MUD

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:41 PM

Thanks Peace. Yes it's ME 'I was there at the beginning man'!!! Now known as IWTATBM. Feels kind of strange but I was getting fed-up of writing such a long name - now I don't have to. I know IWTATBM is unpronounceable, but it's quite catchy and not many people on Mudcat have unpronounceable names.

EAT MUD

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:40 PM

FEED THE MUD

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:37 PM

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

FEED THE MUD!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:35 PM

I love your new name, IWTATBM. It is you! A name that implies intelligence and foresight but also speaks for the silent and subdued in a quiet yet clear manner. True, no one can pronounce your name, but it matters not. You are you to us who are we and you to you who are I or me to you. To everyone else, you are IWTATBM.

EMMA: Did you notice in that first pic that someone fed the mud a quad with a creature on it? FEED THE MUD!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:30 PM

New name? Do I know you? I must admit you seem somehow familiar, like a lost snippet of a movie seen as a child.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:29 PM

ok - more mud!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:28 PM

But what if you have more than one mud? Do you then have muds? Oh, the pain.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:27 PM

Your right. I'll stay then. What do you think of my new name?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:26 PM

I am with you, KB.

FEED THE MUD!

In a philosophical sense, mud is just dirt and water, but allegorically, it represents the tensions between wet and dry, transparent and opaque, up and down, over and out. It rhymes with cud and stud, blood and flood. It would rhyme with sud, but sud only comes in bunches or groups, gangs even. A gang of sud is suds. I mean, like when is the last time someone asked you if you wanted a glass of sud. Right. Never. You always get asked if you want suds. Put a layer of soap in the bath, and does it produce sud? NO, I say. NO! It produces suds. Does suds rhyme with mud? Again, NO.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:25 PM

ok - if this doesn't work!
MUD!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:25 PM

The mental gymnastics do get a bit confusing, but invigorating at the same time. My only solace is that I never understand what is going on so this thread is really just par for the course.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:19 PM

It's still no clearer to me. Emma are you saying real mud is good and metaphorical mud is bad? Is that it? Or is some metaphorical mud good as well? It's all so confusing. I think I might quit this thread for a less complicated one.... Does anyone know a less complicated thread?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:18 PM

I was thinking and a thought came to me. Mud, even when wielded in good fun, can produce tears and wailing and much gnashing of teeth among those struck by same. Perhaps this should be a mud free zone. Or maybe a free mud zone. Yes, that's it, Free The Mud! That is my new battle cry.

FREE THE MUD!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:17 PM

That's just it. We open up the thread for mud, and because people are so damned contrary, none appears. Even saying something like, "Go stick yer head in the toilet and flush it twenty-three times, turd head!" will bring a response like, "Would it be OK to flush it three times instead? We have metered water here." This is the teflon thread. It may hit the fan, but it sure don't stick.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:13 PM

Darn! try clicking on Video then "mudder"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:08 PM

these guys think so anyways

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 05:03 PM

Can you be more specific KB? What's fun mud to you, may be funless to someone else. We need clear guidelines about good and bad mud so we don't invite the bad mud types. Peace needs to be in on this one so he can clarify things on his (our) sister thread. I won't sleep tonight I'm sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 04:58 PM

It is the weapon of choice on this forum.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 04:55 PM

For me it depends on what brand of mud they are slinging. Mud can be fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 04:45 PM

So do I take it that we don't want mud-slingers on the 85 billion thread? If this is the case I think Peace ought to make this clear on his 'Ne'er-do-wells' thread, so we don't mislead the mud-slingers who are considering posting here. I mean once we've got them it wouldn't then be fair to tell them to get lost would it? I might feel obliged to defend their right to sling, even when I detest what they are slinging. No, this matter definitely needs clearing up, and fast.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 12:45 PM

(Not) at (all). I (myself) simply do(n't) visit that thread (Shamble's) since I (personally) think that there's far (far) too much dissension (or mud-slinging) around here (the 'Cat) anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 12:38 PM

Re: Shambles and his detractors (and the defenders he has picked up), I would rather keep that on the other side of the fence. The same thought has occurred to me and it is a fascinating thread (except when it gets boring) but I don't think I want to get to 85 Billion that badly, and getting to 85 Billion has become my all consuming passion. It's worse (or better) than on-line gambling. Did I use too many parenthetical comments (they can be annoying)?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 12:20 PM

How much is a bazillion?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 12:17 PM

Where does that leave us characters in the US who still use "milliard" as a number? Are we an endangered species? Can I be protected?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 12:14 PM

Show off. I can't even get it to copy. It comes out like 1023. Sheesh . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 11:49 AM

in 'most' of the world, every 3 zeros gets a new name. Besides being more consistent, it saves a LOT of ink. ;>)

million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion, sextillion, septillion, octillion..etc..

about big numbers Note, it lists 'traditional' British usage and 'modern' British usage.

Numbers larger than quadrillion usually are done in scientific notation, anyway. 10²³

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 11:45 AM

If we could get the people who keep expressing their anger with Shambles on THAT thread to do so here, we'd be there (85 billion) in NO time.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 09:57 AM

But here in the U.S. excessive hurry is our specialty. I'd post more about this but I have things to do.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Autolycos
Date: 19 Oct 06 - 03:40 AM

Bill,

Happy to help here. Altho' lots of the Brit media seems sold on the US definition of a billion, properly in the UK,85,000,000,000 is eighty-five thousand million.

So that way, we don't get to a billion until a million million. A bit before that, we have e.g. 345,000,000,000 (three hundred and forty-five thousand million), etc.etc. Thus there's no race to get the kudos, sexiness, show-offness of "A    BIIIIIIILLIONNNNNN" unnecesssarily soon.

That way, a billion THEN has REAL bigness.

Ans 85 billion posts would be a real achievement. Calling a thousand million (1,000,000,000) a billion smacks of insecurity and excessive hurry.

   
    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 07:28 PM

Let BWL know he'll fit right in.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 07:25 PM

Peace says ne'er-do-wells are desperately needed on this thread. Well, I'm not sure if I'm a ne'er-do-well, but I'm definitely a cantankerous old fart. Will that do? If not, just tell me to go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 07:15 PM

All the anchovy milkshakes a guy can drink in one hour? Carp smoothies?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 07:10 PM

OK, OK.

It must be 1,000,000 plus or minus X. Is there a prize?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 07:08 PM

A million and one?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 07:04 PM

WHAT in the UK do they call 85,000,000,000?? What comes after a million?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 07:03 PM

Why are we here? Now that's just a cheap and easy way to get lots of posts. You might as well ask what is folk music, or if there is anything Shambles can't complain about......

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,oh, alright,Autolycos
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 07:01 PM

And where it says '85 billion', is that as in UK '85 billion',i.e. 85 billion, or Stateside '85 billion')?)i.e. 85 thousand million.

i.e. 85,000,000,000,000 (UK)         or

       85,000,000,000    (US) ??


   
    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 07:00 PM

By the good lord, he's GOT it!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,not guest Autolycos,just Autolycos
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 06:45 PM

Houston, we have a problem.

   The solution is maybe to devise a way of getting the thread to self-replicare till it hits the target.

Oh, and why 85 billiob? Wassa matter with 86?

And do I take it that intrusions from the second Joke thread, sitting at the table, and other threads into this one doesn.....(sorry), don't....Matter?

And why are we here?


   Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 06:19 PM

I am trying to help! My suggestion for flavorings (a/k/a/ flavourings) was obviously thought to be less than serious. Well, when the world is beating a path to Peace and my doors because everyone is craving a chocolate strawberry pickle carp milkshake you'll all be laughing out of the other side of your mouths (i.e., the inside).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 06:13 PM

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it
in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity
that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey
in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP
SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the
pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give
it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following
headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would
have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer
for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the
nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it
could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS
IS WILD AND FREE
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is....being concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's
ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
Have a nice day!

I'm taking it so seriously peace I have quit my job and took out a two hundred grand loan for that little cottage in the Dordogne I have had my eye on. You're good for guarantor aren't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 05:43 PM

I don't think this idea is being treated with the seriousness it so roundly deserves. Jaysus, try to show people how to become billionaires and what do they do?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 05:08 PM

Who was that unmasked man?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 04:10 PM

well, we'd never learn to pronounce your name, anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 04:02 PM

Hello everyone, I'm new to this thread and just thought I'd pop by and say hello. I'm not sure I'll stay long though, and you'll probably never see me again. Farewell for ever.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 12:18 PM

hmmmppfff!! If it was a worthy combination, Tastee Freeze would have offered it!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 18 Oct 06 - 09:43 AM

A twist of lemming.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 10:38 PM

Ah, but has anyone added...flavors (or, in the World of the Great Unwashed, flavours)?

Chocolate. Chocolate Raspberry. Strawberry. Blueberry. Think of the market for a Double Dark Chocolate Caramel Nougat Anchovy Milkshake with whipped creams and a maraschino cherry on top!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 09:08 PM

Anchovy MILKSHAKES!...that's IT?

Let me tell you a true story. Many years ago, I rented two rooms in a big house I owned to friends of mine. A block away was a "Tastee Freeze"..similar to Dairy Queen, but trying to compete by offering weird selections of stuff, including 20-30 hamburger toppings and 50 flavors of milkshake.

One day my friend D.W. said he was going to the Tastee....my other friend T.R said, "hey...bring me a milkshake!" D.W. said "What kind?"...T.R. said, "Oh, I don't care...surprise me!" WRONG THING TO SAY! D.W. tried to get a 'real' answer, but to no avail, so off he went, with malice aforethought.
   At the counter he ordered for himself, then said "Oh, by the way...give me an Almond-Sauerkraut milkshake."
The owner asked him twice if he was serious, then made it...but refused to put it in a labled cup, and used a plain, unmarked one!

....So, D.W. handed T.R. his milkshake, waiting for the gasp and choking. Nothing... then T.R. said, "Interesting...what is it?" When told, he said..."well, it's different, but not bad."

Moral..."IT HAS ALREADY BEEN TRIED---SOMEWHERE!" ...and enough folks like T.R. would just shrug and never notice or care! But if you put it on the menu, they'd never order it either.

Now, how about some REAL ideas for making a fortune...like guitar capos which will double as blood pressure gauges!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 09:06 PM

Oh yea. I mean, this thing is gonna go. We are talking ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

Think of it this way. Anyone can make a milk shake. But how many people will actually make an Anchovy Milkshake at home? How many folks have? Answer: fewer than 1/10 of 1/10 of 1%. In real figures, 127 people if you include Dave the Doorman at the Chelsea Hotel who had a penchant for a fish flavour with his strawberries and fresh dairy cream. He was a strange guy who was waaaay ahead of his time in the year 1967. But how could anyone walk/skate/bike/jog or drive past an establishment that specializes in the product? Answer: almost NO one. It is the secret desire of every professional athlete to have--but, that's in the future, just like tomorrow and next week.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 08:22 PM

Hooked? You've already got your advertising head on haven't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 08:14 PM

Well, yea. But anyone can make a milkshake with beer. Ours will have milk in it. Just think of it as a novelty item with tremendous market potential. But people will come back for more and more because of the taste. True, they may not be all that impressed at first, but after twenty or thirty Sardine Shakes with just the Merest Hint of Garlic, they will be hooked.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 07:57 PM

sorry - it seems the Aussies have already cornered the anchovy milkshake market and it's antidote!
http://www.latestbuy.com.au/novelty_death_mints.html



will this do instead?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:59 PM

OH

now you're just

stringing us along

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:57 PM

And for those who can't tolerate milk we could just liquidise the anchovies? MMMmmmmm yummy.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:56 PM

Only the freshest ingredients.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:54 PM

And from Bill Gats himself: "I owe it all to anchovies and milk."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:53 PM

you think big round here ?
ummmmm

scallions ?


will THESE
do ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:50 PM

With endorsements like this;

"Oscar, the resident Grouch on Sesame Street, despises all things nice and sweet. He loves collecting junk, standing in line, arguing, rainy days, and anchovy milk shakes."

you can't go wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:44 PM

And for those on a restricted salt diet, we could offer a Sardine Milkshake w/ or w/o Garlic. Bill Gates, move over.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:43 PM

With bobad's suggestion, the menu is increasing. The stocks will split within a week.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:41 PM

See? There's a guy who has vision.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:40 PM

Hmmmmmmmmm

I'm stirred now

but not quite shaken

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:40 PM

GUEST www. Truthfully, we are trying to discourage those who have an impulsive urge to buy in with two posts. I mean, get real. This is going to be bigger than Microsoft.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:39 PM

Garlic would make them quite palatable.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:36 PM

May I have a pizza the action ?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,what, what, what ?
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:33 PM

I hear a strange echo too

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:30 PM

OK. Because I can see that there will be 25 more posts here before midnight, here is the idea. You have to mull this one over for a few minutes before you can actually envision the money-making potential of stock options and franchise opportunities, but when it finally sinks in, WOW. So, here goes.

Anchovy Milkshakes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:29 PM

I am still here because peace hasn't made me a millionaire yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 06:04 PM

now what? You wait and see if it feels you back!..

(I am here because I am a glutton for nonsense)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Emma B
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 05:55 PM

I feel it
now what?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 05:48 PM

It doesn't matter how you get here. All are welcome at the 85 Billion thread. Can't you just feel the love in the air?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 05:38 PM

I'm here because Peace threatened to hurt me if I didn't show up.

Well, technically, HE didn't threaten to hurt me. He threatened to have a couple of Really Big Guys threaten to hurt me. Since I'm very allergic to pain, here I am.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 05:36 PM

I hear he's got a good deal on a bridge, hardly used.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 05:33 PM

I'm here because peace is going to make us all millionaires.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 04:19 PM

Welcome to the thread RangerSteve. I remember my first visit here many years ago now (summers lasted for ever then). I never intended to return a second time, much like you (and many hoped I wouldn't). Steve, you say you have nothing to say, but I have found your posts some of the most refreshing we've had for ages. And should you want to become a member of the 'First 100' club, you'll be pleased to know that we have one or two positions left, even though we are approaching 500 posts. (You'll have to follow the formal procedures though - see earlier posts for details)

Anyway, welcome again to the 85 Billion thread. You'll never leave!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: RangerSteve
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 03:56 PM

Well, Peace explained to me how to get to the last message in a very long thread, so I'm back to add another post. I have nothing worthwhile to say here, so you can ignore this.

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 02:48 PM

NO....NO....NO...NO...NO...NO.....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 02:31 PM

Have to post here or I will be a liar. Don't ask.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 02:12 PM

Did you hear about the doctor who wouldn't accept payment for circumcisions? He only took tips.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 08:37 AM

Oh, yes. Did you know that a urinalysis done very recently in the laboratory at Blind River Hospial demonstrates conclusively that Shane dilutes his beer, half beer and half grape soda pop?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 08:34 AM

Ragdall, please send me you physical address and correct name.

I played "Happy Birthday" on my phone as per your instructions. You own me US $45,693.12 for the call to Ulan Bator, relayed via the Mars rover "Opportunity."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: ragdall
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 01:46 AM

Dollars equal cents
Theorem: 1$ = 1c.

Proof:
- gives you a sense of money disappearing.

1$ = 100c
= (10c)^2
= (0.1$)^2
= 0.01$
= 1c

Here $ means dollars and c means cents.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: ragdall
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 01:27 AM

Happy Birthday on a touch-tone phone -- please stop me if you've heard this before?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>


*note: Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes.

112, 163, 112, 196, 110, 8521, 008, 121

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 01:04 AM

This is Shane, eh? I figgered it was time to, like, drop in and say how im-flippin-PRESSED I am by the amazin' flippin' response to my 85 Billions thread here, eh? Totally decent! I never thoght it would go this far but it did. Out-flippin'-RAGious! Way to go, eh? WE are closin' in on 500 which is about how many girls I would like to have by the end of this year, eh? Majorly cool. This trhead ROCks!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: John O'L
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 11:28 PM

So what do we all really think of RangerSteve? It's OK, he won't read it. (Heh heh) His stupid connection's too slow.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 11:15 PM

Jaysus H. !!

I meant 'exaggerated'

I wish the hell this forum had a "spell checker"

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 11:10 PM

I think the topic of this thread is slightly exagerrated.

That's my unbiased opinion.


sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: ragdall
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 11:00 PM

Can this server server upload 85 billion posts in a single thread?
If it can, will we live long enough to see it finish doing it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 09:52 PM

Oh, shiiiiiiiiit. That means this journey of 85 billion miles has to start with 85 million steps? Where's the wankers? They could help with this. I think folks just ain't takin' this seriously enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 09:47 PM

"85 billion is a long way to go...."

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: RangerSteve
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 07:44 PM

Now that I'm retired, I thought I'd finally read this thread. I didn't read it all, just the first 20 and last 20 posts. I have nothing to contribute to this thread, except get it one more post closer to the goal. I probably won't be back, as I live too far out in the country to get DSL, and dial-up is too slow and it takes about 5 minutes for the whole thread to appear on my screen. So don't bother commenting on what I wrote here, unless you want to talk about me behind my back, because I'll never see it. Unless I get really bored.


Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 07:23 PM

oh, I'm sorry...should those have been all different posts? ....85 billion is a long way to go....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 07:22 PM

"...you don't think I asked for a 12" pianist, do you?"

"...I dunno", says the bartender, "he just sits back there, licking his eyebrows."

"...and the Texan hollers, "for God's sake don't flush it!"

"...and bartender puts his thumb on the ant and says "sorry about that."

"..."well", says Paddy, "The first one always tastes terrible, and the last one always gets me into trouble at home."

"...hi, there, Little Fuck!"

"...oh, we've settled that...we're just haggling over the price."

"...and the rhinocerous says, "At these prices, I'm not surprised."

"...why no, I'm a frayed knot!"

"...it must've been that bar bitch you ate."

"...snnnffff...no, no! Too near ze ass!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,surf's up
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 07:04 PM

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says:"You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!"Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" - the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi!"

The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 07:04 PM

Like...what's up with that, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: John O'L
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 06:46 PM

Giraffe walks into a bar and says "The highballs are on me"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 06:34 PM

It's the prepositions what do it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Autolycos
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 06:32 PM

Is is possible to go to a party dressed as a toga?



Just wondered.


   Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Azizi
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 09:20 AM

Here's some "Yo Mama" lines that children, teens, and adults sent into my website on handclap rhymes, taunting rhymes, cheerleader cheers etc:

Yo Mama's so fat when she wore a yellow rain coat, people called out "TAXI!!" to her.


Yo mama is so fat when she entered a fat contest they said no professionals allowed!


Yo mama so fat she was baptized at sea world.

Your momma so poor that when i went in your house and stepped on a cigarrette she said ohhhhhhhhhh its cold in here who shut off the heat


Yo moma's so stupid i put a paper on the tv and asked her what she was watching and she said paperview.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 11:30 PM

Guy walked into a bar, fell to his knees, clapped his hands to bleeding forehead and said, "God DAMN son of bitch! Who's the sorry bastard who put that there?"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 10:02 PM

The bride, cuddled in the arms of her new golfer husband, said, "Honey, I have to admit something. I...I'm a hooker."

"Oh, that's okay," replied the groom. "Just keep you left arm straight...."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: number 6
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 09:30 PM

Sneffer heard this joke Peace ... sorry.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 08:39 PM

This 395 pound gorilla wearing blue tights and red high heels walks into a bar and says, "Has anyone seen my friend Beatrix?"

(Does snyone know the rest of it?)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,surf's up
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:49 PM

A penguin walks into a bar. He says to the barman, " Have you seen my brother?"

" I don't know" says the barman, " what does he look like?"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:48 PM

An amnesiac comes into a bar. He asks, "Do I come here often?"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:41 PM

A white horse walks into a bar. The barman says to the horse, we have a drink named after you. The horse says, "What, Eric?".

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,surf's up
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:36 PM

A piece of rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, "we don't serve your kind." The rope goes outside, ties himself in a knot and frays one end of himself. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "Weren't you just in here?" The rope replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:32 PM

dyslexia rules KO

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,surf's up
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:28 PM

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:20 PM

One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game. As the first half went along, the big animals were scoring at will. Every time they got the ball they would run it in for a touchdown.

Then came the second half...

First play: The elephant runs the ball up the middle. WAP!! Tackled for a five-yard loss.

The little animals go back to the huddle cheering and congratulating each other.

"Who made that tackle?" asked the ant.

"I did," said the centipede.

Second play: The rhinoceros runs the ball up the middle. WHOMP!! Tackled for another five-yard loss.

Back in the huddle the flea asked, "Who made that great stop?"

"I did," said the centipede.

Third play: The gorilla tries an end sweep, led by the hippo throwing the lead blocks. SMACK!! Centipede tackles him for a 10-yard loss. Back in the huddle, the gnat asked the centipede, "Where were you in the first half?"

The centipede replied, "Puttin' on my shoes!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:15 PM

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:13 PM

LOL

This kinda banter has to beat the serious stuff--OH:

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"

"Yes," the golfer responded.

"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"

"Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked.

"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded...

"I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:11 PM

You took your bloody time and I bet the chips are cold.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:09 PM

Great line to use when someone doesn't 'get' a joke: "If Darwin was right, you'll figure it out in a few million years."

HI HONEY, I'M HOME.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:06 PM

A man visits the doctor. The doctor says "I have bad news for you.You have cancer and Alzhiemer's disease".

The man replies "Well,thank God I don't have cancer!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:04 PM

PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."

DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,surf's up
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:01 PM

Why do mice have small balls?




Not many know how to dance.







Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeace................where are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 13 Oct 06 - 05:23 PM

KB the decision has been made already!!! I'm just hanging on to 'I was there at the beginning man' for sentimental reasons. I shall reveal my (new) self in a few days/weeks. Perhaps when we get to 500 posts. Two things to celebrate, 500 posts and the unveiling of my new name! Can we have a virtual party? That is of course if I haven't already left the thread forever, something I am giving a lot of consideration to at the moment.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Oct 06 - 05:00 PM

So should I take it that you are leaning toward 'Spooky' as your nom de plum should you decide to become a member of this noble institution?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 13 Oct 06 - 04:46 PM

Thanks for your recommendations Rapaire and KB. Based on them I will indeed buy the film (as long as it's still just £2.99) and will report back and tell you all about it. It was the 'almost buying the book' that clinched it for me. In some strange way it seems we are meant to watch this film, don't you think? And when I say we I mean all the 85 billioners. So can everyone watch the film and then feedback, say by November 17th? Even if the film's rubbish the feedback will up the posts, especially if there is a bit of controversy (my speciality).

Spooky

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Oct 06 - 04:09 PM

Not watching this movie was one of the most incredible things I have never experienced. Truly life altering in a very affirming sort of way. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 06 - 01:40 PM

Hey, I haven't seen the movie either! That makes two of us!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Oct 06 - 01:09 PM

I have not seen the movie. I almost bought the book at a second hand store once if that helps any. Come to think of it, I guess I almost bought the book at a second hand store once whether it helps any or not.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 05:59 PM

It is, without doubt, the most wonderful movie ever filmed. Touching, funny, sensitive without being all touchy-feely, it's a man's film that even women love, a film for the whole family to enjoy together. It will undoubtedly change your life, making it richer and fuller than you could have ever imagined.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 04:58 PM

KB mentioned the movie 'Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe'. It's on offer at HMV for £2.99 at the moment. Is it any good? Don't want to waste £2.99 on a film that isn't any good.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 07:12 PM

You are a seriously warped indi--did you say crab cakes? Shit. THAT'S what I coulda done with them. Tell me now why dontcha!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 06:49 PM

I had some great crab in Maryland last time I was there. Try the crab cakes at the Timbukto restraunt, or the cream of crab soup at Bay n' Surf.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 05:49 PM

Yeah? Try crabs!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 05:38 PM

I had fleas once.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 05:20 PM

You have a talking flea? That I will listen to.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 03:54 PM

No they don't say "Oh, vey" they say Oy, vey. It's those fried green tomatoes, they're eatin' up my innards I tell ya. Why won't anybody listen to my plea?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 08:48 AM

We must question everything. I have even questioned myself. Just a few minutes ago I questioned myself, asking myself why I should exist and where the heck I put my glasses. Everything is contraversial. Question everything. You should even ask yourself why you are questioning everything.

Of course, this concept may be too contraversial and questioning for you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: DMcG
Date: 11 Oct 06 - 08:13 AM

Do they say "Oh, vey" in Valhalla? Maybe my mental image for Thor is all wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 03:53 PM

IWTATBM leave? Perish the thought. How could we muddle through the veritable minefield of vegetables? Just last night I was attacked by a three bean salad and it was only the vision of vanquished tomatoes that saw me through. I was this close to visiting Valhala. Oh, vey.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 03:35 PM

Respect for Chimpanzees NOW!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 12:59 PM

Rapaire how could you? EVERYONE knows on this thread (including our spiritual leader) that the thread would have died years ago if it hadn't have been for my blood, sweat, and YES, tears. I think it's very unlikely that this controversy will get off the ground. It'll be green tomatoes all over again!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 12:45 PM

A good controversy would be whether or not old "I was there...." should quit this thread once and for all.

What do you think? Yes or no? And give your reasons.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 10 Oct 06 - 12:30 PM

Talking about chimps, I thought the 'controversy' idea went very well really, don't you? Could have done with a few more (any) pro-green tomato eaters to hot up the debate a little (good try Peace but it was easy to tell your heart wasn't in it), however I think the wider forum now realises that if it's controversy they want, look no further than the 85 billion thread.

You'll all be pleased to know that I have therefore decided NOT to quit the thread forever, for the time-being.

Has anyone else got ideas for upping the rate of posting?

Anyway back to chimpgate….

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Oct 06 - 10:31 PM

It happens constantly. Every chimpanzee I know has been mistakenly called "a monkey" by some idiot on some occasion. No wonder most apes have a low opinion of most human beings.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 06 - 06:49 PM

Monkey? You insultin' my buddy Chongo CHIMP?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Oct 06 - 06:14 PM

Nobody here but me an' my monkey . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 09 Oct 06 - 06:11 PM

You lookin' fer me, buster? Well? Well, here I am. Whassamatter? You need a lesson in makin' a monkey of yourself? I don't think so. Ya got that mastered already far as I can see, and this ape ain't moonlightin' fer the likes of you, bozo.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Oct 06 - 06:00 PM

Hey. There is a dumb-ass ape on another thread who should come here and teach "Banana Peeling, 101". Someone invite him over, would ya?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Oct 06 - 05:19 PM

I can't do either very well, so it don't matter how it's spelled or spelt.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 09 Oct 06 - 02:06 PM

Whistle, not Whislte

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 09 Oct 06 - 02:05 PM

My in-laws live in the South (U.S.) where they eat fried green tomatoes as though it were an actual food. I knew about the book and movie (Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whislte Stop Cafe) but thought they were fiction. I was persuaded, against my better judgment, to try some (they were pretty good, actually) and have never felt quite the same since. They're poison I tell ya, poison.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 09 Oct 06 - 01:23 AM

Cat--- the OTHER white meat!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 04:32 PM

Before I was married I had a terrible time keeping track of dates. One night I thought I was with Natalie and it was Sue, another time I though I was going to be with Kathy and I didn't have anyone lined up at all. But the worst one was the time I was supposed to go out with Bobbi and it turned out that I was supposed to be joining my old buddy Bobby and the boys for beer and poker. And I won't even get into the time a guy asked me if I wanted to meet his swimsuit-model cousin for a date and she handed me some sticky sort of fruit thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 04:15 PM

Me too. I had to check it on the calendar to be sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 04:05 PM

Thank you. I have great difficulties keeping track of various dates like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 03:35 PM

Tomorrow. (in Canada)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 03:22 PM

When is Thanksgiving this year?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 03:20 PM

Too bad I don't have a cat anymore or I'd get right on that. After all, we need something for Thanksgiving dinner here.

Does it work with dachshunds?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 03:16 PM

I will step into that breach. Green tomatoes do not deserve the bad press they have received from ne'er-do-wells on this thread. First, any comparison of potatoes and tomatoes is ridiculous. Tomato milk shakes are going to catch on sooner or later. Such cannot be said of potato milk shakes. Those of you who think you know everything are a real pain in the ass to those of us who really do. Yes green tomatoes are not good for you. For that the answer is simple. Feed them to your cat. Put the rest in a brown paper bag and let them methanate. When they turn red, stuff the cat, which will by this time have died, and cook at 350 degrees for three hours, basting every ten minutes with a mild lager. Garlic goes good with this.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 02:36 PM

Does nobody want to defend the green tomato?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Wembley Stills
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 01:50 PM

You are so right! Not only that, bell peppers also cause death, specially the green ones. Don't eat them!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 01:16 PM

Even though I live in Idaho, I don't eat potatoes, either. For the same reason.

And green tomatoes, even fried or chutneyized, still contain the poisons.

Don't eat 'em 'cause you'll die.

Parenthetically, potatoes aren't really vegetables at all. They are actually blind subterranean parasit es similar to slugs or nematodes, which are attracted to the roots of the potato plant and which they find by using sensory organs in the so-called "eyes". They attach themselves to these roots and suck nutrition from the plant and if this goes on long enough the plant will wither and die. Potatoes are considered a crop because people planted the plants in fields to attract the potatoes, which migrated to the plants and which continue to do so today. Idaho, for example, used to be a large, high, plateau but so many potatoes migrated that whole areas collapsed and formed valleys and mountain.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 12:36 PM

I know. Yellow tomatoes taste better than red ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 12:26 PM

OK, sorry. I can't have controvery over green tomatoes with you though. I think it is stupid to eat them other that in chutney, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 12:17 PM

You're right about green potatoes GUEST, I'll give you that. However as with Rapaire, can I remind you this is a green tomato controversy. We can deal with other fruit/vegetables in a later controversy, when this one has been thrashed out.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 12:12 PM

I wouldn't eat green potatoes either and that is because both are related to deadly nighthade.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 12:08 PM

And there's 400 to add to my 300!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 12:07 PM

"Don't eat tomatoes at all. They're related to datura, and that's "Deadly Nightshade"" (Rapaire)

Rapaire, tomatoes are also related to potatoes; do you eat them? You should get your facts right before posting inflammatory stuff like this. And anyway the controversy is about green tomatoes specifically. Why is it that people like you have to highjack a thread and take it in a different direction. If you want to talk tomatoes in general I suggest you start a new thread about them. Right I've said my piece.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 11:26 AM

Really. Tomatoes'll kill you. My parents, my grandparents (both sides), my neighbors, and several of my friends all ate tomatoes and they're all dead. A 100% mortality rate. Don't do it, I tell ya!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: *daylia*
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 10:34 AM

I'm taking all that with a good dose of high quality extravirgin olive oil, Rapaire. It's not wise to bruschetta 'em off so easily - they're bound to ketchup with you someday!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 10:12 AM

Don't eat tomatoes at all. They're related to datura, and that's "Deadly Nightshade" and it can kill you deader'n that horse my brother shot. Horrible way to go, too, with hallucinations and it's really bad shit, man. It's Jimson Weed.

Don't eat tomatoes or you'll die.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 08 Oct 06 - 07:46 AM

(update of the proposed argument for newcomers to the thread)

….. I believe people who eat green tomatoes are fools, yes FOOLS. Not only do they taste horrible there is a statistical risk of poisoning. Far better to let green tomatoes ripen on the windowsill or make green tomato chutney. What do you say to that then eh? Feeling a bit defensive eh? Want to put the case for green tomato eating eh (if you possibly can).

(Don't hold back on this one)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 06 - 10:40 PM

You could also close the suitcase so they couldn't get out, and then you'd have a lifetime supply of dead flies.

Speaking of dead flies, I notice Shane hasn't been around lately.

Did you hear the story about the farmer who wouldn't put up window screens? The local agricultural agent told him that it would be healthier, that it would keep out the flies that also infested the outhouse. The farmer said, no, he'd just toss some lime down the outhouse and that was lots cheaper than screens.

So a few weeks later the ag agent comes around again the lo and behold, the house is fully screened! He asked the farmer what convinced him to put up screens, and the farmer replied, "Well, I noticed that the flies were leaving little white footprints in my food."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 07 Oct 06 - 06:45 PM

After you do that, stuff it with green tomatoes and eat it. Cooked is better, IMO.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Codwrangler
Date: 07 Oct 06 - 05:14 PM

You are sooo RIGHT!!! Only idiots eat green tomatoes! I get sick thinking about it. It makes me want to get my hands on a large fish and choke the life out of it!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 07 Oct 06 - 05:06 PM

This thread is very sluggish of late isn't it? I've requested an action plan from you, but with no response (more sluggishness). So I've had a think and it's occurred to me that controversial threads seem to get a lot of posts in a short space of time. So, if we get a bit of controversy going here, it should help us along. How about this for controversy (let The Shambles know, he'll have something to say about this no doubt):

….. I believe people who eat green tomatoes are fools, yes FOOLS. Not only do they taste horrible there is a statistical risk of poisoning. Far better to let green tomatoes ripen on the windowsill or make green tomato chutney. What do you say to that then eh? Feeling a bit defensive eh? Want to put the case for green tomato eating eh (if you possibly can).

Recipes for green tomato chutney also welcome.

If this doesn't work I'm definitely leaving for good this time - I really mean it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Oct 06 - 02:06 PM

It's nothing if not ambitious! "To boldly post where no man has posted before..."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Cordwangler
Date: 06 Oct 06 - 03:40 PM

This looks like a very interesting thread. Reading through has made me chuckle so I thought I'd leave you a post as a thank you and to help you along a bit. Best of luck with your endeavours.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Oct 06 - 02:49 PM

If you kept some dog manure in the suitcase...fresh dog manure, that is...then you would be guaranteed a continuing supply of flies, providing the suitcase was kept partly open so they could get in.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 06 Oct 06 - 12:31 PM

I begin to question whether or not we will make it. No, must not get discouraged. I used to have a frog suitcase. We kept his extra flies in it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Oct 06 - 03:54 PM

Bunch of fookin' slackers. SLACKERS, I say. If x number of people post at the rate of y/z per n, then in no time at all we shall be at 85 billion posts. For the want of a horse we threw away the nail and the kingdom was kissed by a frog and turned into a suitcase. Do NOT try this at home, folks.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 05 Oct 06 - 01:54 PM

This threads wearing a bit thin lately don't you think? No posts since Monday. We need a plan of action. .... Anybody got a plan of action?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 08:18 PM

Look, BDiBR. It's a well-known fact that you caught the dose from a sheep. A female sheep to be sure, but a sheep nevertheless. We all know why you wear velcro gloves, pal.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 08:07 PM

The water is cold AND deep. I know.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 05:29 PM

You go flip yourself, you retread! I am "the Dude" in this town and if you was here you would know that, eh? Women lust after me. Men wish they WAS me. And that's the flippin' size of it. THIS flippin' BIG, man!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 05:24 PM

Posts do seem to lag a bit over the weekend, don't they?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 09:09 PM

Dear GUEST,I was there at the beginning man: Something simple like Chuck or Percival or Mehitabel.

Shane: The whole world knows that not only do you have a case of "the screamin' pees", but also that you have crabs. Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 03:50 PM

Thanks for your suggestion guru, I'll put it on the list.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 03:09 PM

How about "Flipface"? That name ain't took yet, and people will remember it real easy too, eh?

Hey, GUEST? Go flip yourself about the flippin' dose!!!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 03:04 PM

Hi dudes (and respect to my fellow I'll be/I was there men). I'm thinking about joining Mudcat as a member and need a name. 'I was there at the beginning man' is cool I know (!) but no one will take me seriously if I post as that on other threads (you know, above the line). They'll just think I'm a description or something as some of the MOABites did. I'm not sure if this is a first for Mudcat (?), but I'd like your suggestions for a name please. I'll choose the one I like best and if the name's not taken will become it. Thanks for your suggestions.

Good to see you post again O wise one, please don't be a stranger to your flock.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 11:13 AM

BUT did you get over the dose?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 09:58 AM

Okay, like, I am back, eh? And I am still the boss! Believe it, you loosers! Women all want me. Men all wish they was me and look up to me. I am majorly cool and totally on top of things, eh? Julian in Trailer Park Boys is my roll model, so I am workin' on puttin' together my own "Freedom 35" plan so's I can retier and enjoy the rest of my life without doin' no work or nothin' like that. That will be way long before this thread is over. This thread will be my, like, testiment to a life that was flippin' well spent, eh?

Rock on dudes!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 11:45 PM

Or not. They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 10:51 PM

This could be one of the more important threads in the history of music. We may find out who put the bomp in the bomp ssssh bomp ssssh bomp, and find out who that man was so we can shake his hand. WOW. Talk about yer profound revelations.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there in the middle man
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 10:27 PM

Here I am, man! I wasn't there at the beginning, and I may not be there at the end, but I'm here now, somewhere in the middle. Of course as the thread gets longer I'll have to keep posting becos the middle keeps moving around, but I'm in it for the long haul.

Of course at some point I might have to stop posting so that I'm not there at the end. Who knows when the end will be? Wow man, that's really deep! So many deep and unanswered questions which may, or may not, be eventually answered in this thread.....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 04:31 PM

Joey: Shane! Come back!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 04:01 PM

BDiBR is likely sleepin' it off in jail. Bad dose of clap and no doubt crabs from that gal he spent six dollars on. Now it's gonna cost him twice that to get rid of the crabs and if he has no insurance, about $30 to get rid of the dose.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 03:40 PM

No KB it was another false departure. I'm back for good this time. It's getting busy on this thread nowadays isn't it? All these new (and welcome) faces eh. Remember in the olden days when we used to worry that the thread wouldn't last the week? Remember our prophet BDiBR, I wonder where he is these days? Still inspiring others around the world as he did us I expect. Oh for another coded message.

In case you're wondering I'm not related to 'I'll be there at the end man'. All we need now is an 'I was there in the middle man' and we'll have the set.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 02:03 PM

Breathe

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I'll be there at the end, man.
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 12:22 PM

He couldn't handle the pressure. He couldn't go the distance. He will never be a contender. Not like me. I'll be there at the end, man...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 12:10 PM

IWTATBM, have you left the site, never to return?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,IBO
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 07:06 AM

DACHSHUNDS WILL BEND OVER BACKWARDS TO ACCOMODATE YOU.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 09:21 PM

Well, dachshunds will do anything for food. Absolutely anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 08:54 PM

You can too, but you have to pet 'em first.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 08:40 PM

IBO, you are gonna fit right in here.

Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,IBO
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 08:26 PM

TWO SNOWMEN IN A FIELD AND ONE TURNS TO THE OTHER AND SAYS          CAN YOU SMELL CARROTS

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 03:50 PM

Two true, Mario.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 03:30 PM

maths are all wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Sep 06 - 03:11 PM

Oh, joy, Mudcat's main Christian found this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I'll be there at the end, man.
Date: 26 Sep 06 - 04:20 PM

And that's more than any of you can say!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 26 Sep 06 - 03:37 PM

Tarheel has got a good point. Should we have a 1 billion thread as well?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: tarheel
Date: 26 Sep 06 - 03:23 PM

i, for one, do not understand what the big deal is about a thread that reads...will this thread reach 2 billion post?
think about a billion...
one billion seconds ago, it was 1959!
one billion minutes ago,Jesus was still here on Earth!
one billion hours ago, our ancestors were walking on all fours here on earth!
so...what is the big deal here...
at least 2 or 3 threads here are asking those questions...
if that's all the information and discussions going on here,then count me out!
i have more important things to do and talk about!
i have a life !
Tar...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 03:24 PM

Hi, honey, I'm home.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 06:46 PM

A post for this thread is a post for posteriors.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 05:30 PM

I would like to say that I do not in any way consider this thread to be a threat to my attaining my great objective, the love of Winona Ryder, in the 5000 posts thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 05:01 PM

We could try one letter at a time - that would scare them witless. OK I'll start you off. I'm off to bed early tonight because I am very t

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: DMcG
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 04:55 PM

I see the 5000-ers are trying to compete by posting one word at a time. We would not stoop to that, would we?

Answers consisting just of "Yes", "No", "Never" and so forth can assumed. (However, if someone wants to post those in other languages, I probably wouldn't spot it.)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 09:23 PM

Genital warts? It all depends on whom you ask. Trolls, Orcs, and Goblins all value genital warts highly. Elves? Well, that's a different story! No Elf has EVER had genital warts....or any warts at all for that matter.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 09:16 PM

Holy ratshit, Batman. I just noticed I've been calling this the 85 TRILLION thread. I notice it's entitled 85 BILLION thread. Whew. That sure saves us some time and posting. Piece o' cake now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 09:14 PM

I have been posting on this thread for a long time. I am NOT a MOAB infiltrator. In fact, I have contributed only three or four posts to MOAB since its inception. I am a full-fledged member of the 85 trillion thread.

So, the genital warts are a bad Idea? OK then, I'll pass. Thank you ofr the info. (And I take it clap would be a bad idea too, huh?)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Anonymous guest
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 06:50 PM

Most recent Guest above I do believe you are a MOAB infiltrator trying to ridicule this thread, but without the courage to name yourself. If my hunch is wrong sincerest apologies and in answer to your most interesting question – bad idea.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 05:55 PM

Genital warts: Good or bad idea: What do YOU think?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 05:51 PM

Hey, on THIS thread even 'fu#k off' is accepted as a kind greeting.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 05:36 PM

KB we held out the hand of friendship, but the hand was refused, nay shunned. Our crime, not understanding the thread's conventions. They could have said: "Welcome stranger, happy to have you aboard, but first can we just tell you a little of the protocol 'round here so we all get along swimmingly". But no, they smelled blood and were in for the kill. Being relatively new to Mudcat I'm not sure I'll ever have the courage to post outside this thread again. In fact I may give up posting altogether. They've near destroyed me. Farewell to you all forever.

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 05:33 PM

Hello, LH. Good to see you on the 85 trillion thread. We scoff at yrebons. But I must say that the people at the MOAB thread--a thread that has run its course whereas this one is just in the prime of its staek--are wonderful. They were very nice to me when I dropped in for my second and third posts. And, if I may be so bold as to ask, how is old Willie Shatner?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 05:26 PM

"random postings by a select few"

Heh! That's exactly what the MOABS is. Over time the MOABS thread devolved into a tiny little private club of about 6 or 7 people who drop in on a regular basis simply because it has become habitual for them to do so. The only thing that relieves their narcissisistic, nattering, nabobistic nepotism is the occasional visit from William Shatner!

Dare we hope that this thread may become something similar...yet much more democratic and far less elitist...a thread for ALL, not just for some! Let that be our watchword, our inspiration, our credo, and our sacred mission. After all, it takes a hell of a lot of posters to rack up 85 billion posts, so we cannot afford to be elitist snobs now, can we?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 05:17 PM

It's good to be back. Love what you've done with the place.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 05:13 PM

Welcome home, KB.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 04:25 PM

IWTATBM, you are a true blue friend.

I actually did lurk for a while on MOAB but never could make heads or tails out of what was going on over there. Seemed to be random postings by a select few... hmmm, oh well. I saw that someone had asked about where folks were from so I figured that was an opening and I jumped in. Won't make that mistake again.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 04:02 PM

'Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name,
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"'

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:32 PM

Spock was thrilled!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:24 PM

Shatner will be glad to hear that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:23 PM

No doubt. That aside, fear not posting here for it is welcoming to all regardless of whether they have read the above posts or not. In fact, posters here do not even have to be citizens of Earth.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:20 PM

We are a decent sort--just take a little time to look around and read before you announce that you're there. Kind of like you might do if you're invited into someone's home for the first time. Entering the room talking is bound to send Gluon or the freds off on a tear across the solar system, and that is hard on some of those outer rocks.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 04:08 PM

It's not your fault MMario. I just thought they'd all be a decent sort, as you are.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 04:03 PM

sorry guys - don't know what got into them.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 04:02 PM

I agree with you KB, MOAB was most unwelcoming to the uninitiated. Still I've told them straight, pulled no punches and shot straight from the hip.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 01:20 PM

Still, a casual remark or two from William Shatner can never be thought of as inappropriate, no matter what has been discussed in the last 1,000 posts.

Most of us, sadly, are not as universally loved and admired as he is, and we can't get away with that sort of thing so easily.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 12:47 PM

The bogossity meter was running over at MOAB--just walking into the room talking without lurking to see what is being said then joining in smoothly is problematic--even in a BS joint--checking to see what the thread is doing first is all that is required over there. We haven't required new posters to read the whole thing for ages. Now just reading the last 1000 posts will do a pretty good job of bringing you up to speed.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 11:34 AM

This thread welcomes ALL people. Your cold, tired, hungry, thirsty, crazy--no matter. The road to 85 billion posts is daunting, but we can do it. NO, we SHALL do it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 10:33 AM

Yeah, I know. Still, it's kind of like finally working up the courage to ask a girl to the dance and she laughs at you. Not that that ever happened to me of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 10:16 AM

just BS - what else would one expect at MOAB -- I mean, look at the thread title....

no harm meant, I', sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:55 AM

I hate to be a grump, but MOAB was not very welcoming. IWTATBM and then I tried to join the fun and the very next post after mine complained about our names.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 08:30 AM

we do need to be careful though. MOAB really prefers it when we play at home and bring guests over to play - I think she doesn't trust us being where she can't watch us.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 07:43 AM

The ralfs prefere people that way...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:49 PM

Subtle changes are happening to your DNA....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 05:37 PM

I did it. I took the MOAB plunge. I don't really feel any different yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 04:35 PM

"Does your mother serve them to you? "

Not anymore. She's dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 04:31 PM

Hey you MOABites, I've just posted on your thread. Give us a bit of support over there will you (welcome pard'ner and all that). It's a bit scary.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:51 PM

There have been a couple of exceptions to that hospitality. We had to run MartinGibson off a couple of times, when he came in and started trying to dictate to us how to conduct our BSsiness. A couple of others as well, but they don't bear mentioning (or they might try it again).

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:47 PM

Does your mother serve them to you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:16 PM

Does MOAB serve hash brownies?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:12 PM

If Rapaire doesn't eat them all first.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:10 PM

MOAB welcomes everyone, regardless of race, religion, national origin, handicap, intelligence level, previous postings, or political affiliation. Mother is a nice person and may even give you milk and cookies.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 02:46 PM

I think we're on a roll now, shall we challenge that lot at MOAB to 'first to 15,000'?

Also I am thinking of posting on MOAB. Will I be made welcome or be shunned by all?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 01:38 PM

You callin' me apt? Huh? Apt, is it? You want me to show you apt? Do ya?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 01:26 PM

I think it fitting and apt that you come to this thread and laud MOAB.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 11:49 AM

Roll on, MOAB!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 10:27 AM

How about the 14,000ers?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 08:29 AM

I think they've noticed.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:47 PM

Do we say anything to the 5000ers about getting to 300 first or is it best just left? It wouldn't be right to gloat would it? No, we should be extra nice to them, poor things.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Why do I feel so sad all of a sudden?
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:24 PM

Very good. Yes must be.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:17 PM

Post-countal depression.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:13 PM

Why do I feel so sad all of a sudden?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:11 PM

aw, man - you went over!

302!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:09 PM

Is anybody there?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:08 PM

Is it me?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:07 PM

Heart beating fast?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:06 PM

Look if anyone deserves the 300 slot it's me. Do the decent thing and don't post.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:05 PM

I can smell the tension. No, it bloody cat shit on me shoe.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:02 PM

Playing the waiting game aren't you? I can see you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 03:57 PM

I know you're all waiting for other people to post until it gets to 299, and I think that's really sad.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 03:10 PM

you're only as young as you feel.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 02:53 PM

"I suspect it will be much more exclusive."

And very very old.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 02:50 PM

I'd rather wait and join the "last hundred" club. I suspect it will be much more exclusive.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 02:41 PM

Will people hurry up and post on this. I'm trying to sneak the '300' here but I haven't got all day!

MMario, did you know there's an opportunity to be in the 'First 100' club? You'd have to go through the proper procedures though.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 11:00 AM

ten. well - at 52 I decided I wanted to try going "out on my own" - can't stay tied to MOAB's apron strings ALL my life.

It's scary out here!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 10:51 AM

Are you squandering your riches over here, MMario? Mom will be disappointed.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:51 AM

NO RAPAIRES ALLOWED

signed - the 85 billion club.

PS! This means you, MOAB's pet!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:00 AM

so less then a step at a time.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 08:56 AM

Partial legs.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 08:49 AM

only a partial post?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 08:48 AM

15.73891

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 08:45 AM

seventeen

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 09:45 PM

Eighteen, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 08:07 PM

"Calculate the number of legs and divide by two."

Math Made Simple

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 07:11 PM

A flock of ducks to count while the future becomes uncertain.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 07:03 PM

That could happen, and all because people didn't take an interest. All it takes for bad stuff to happen is for good people to count ducks.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: DMcG
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 05:44 PM

It seems to me we to do more than just plan for after 85 billion. I can just see it, we get to post 84,999,999,999 and the systems all overload because everyone and their brother try to get the brass ring
You mean we might leap from 84,999,999,999 to something approaching 168,999,999,998 in a few moments?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 05:08 PM

I tried to stick some $5's in the bill slot on the front of my computer but it won't take them. I flattened them as best I can but still, no go. Sorry.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 05:03 PM

No problem. Remit small unmarked currency.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 04:53 PM

It seems to me we to do more than just plan for after 85 billion. I can just see it, we get to post 84,999,999,999 and the systems all overload because everyone and their brother try to get the brass ring. I'm thinking we will need to come up with some fair way to make sure that I get to make that post.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 03:21 PM

twenty-six

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 10:56 AM

twenty-seven.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beiginning man
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 10:50 AM

I'm busy that day.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 09:35 AM

waiters elect to serve

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Billy
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 09:30 AM

If nominated I will not run. If elected I will not serve.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 08:25 AM

I would, but I have married a wife and therefore I cannot attend.

Or something.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 08:20 AM

I'd love to serve on either committee, but I'm afraid I'm already booked for the time of the meetings. so sorry, wish I could help.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 09:52 PM

OK then. Bugger the lot of you. We'll just drink beer instaed.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 09:40 PM

That answers that. We'll reach 85 billion posts and be all screwed up because no one was planning for that day. Serves us right.

So instead of a planning committee, would anyone like to be on the Board of Directors for the Inauguration of the 85-billionth Post?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 01:39 PM

Too right, both of you. Who wants to be on the Planning Committee?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: DMcG
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 12:24 PM

Certainly. It would never do to spoil everything by making post 85,000,000,001.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 09:02 AM

I think we should start planning now for strategy after we reach 85 billion on this thread. It would never do to be unprepared.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 07:39 PM

As we quiclky approach our goal of 85 billion, we should take a minute to pause and consider

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 05:31 PM

260! Well 261 now.

Can't even get the number right! Phew!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 05:30 PM

160!

Yeah, no big deal is it really. Must get out more.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 12:18 PM

You post from a knot hole?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 08:58 PM

I am posting from home for once, just to see what it is like. I usually post from, uh, not home.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Prodigal Son
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 05:34 PM

Oh, OK it's me. I must get over these aliases. Thanks for the kind words. IWTATBM

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 05:28 PM

Of course we welcome you back. But in my 4:50 post you may note I had a sneaking suspicion that you weren't all that far away.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 05:22 PM

I will. We love you IWTATBM. Welcome home.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 05:16 PM

;-) I'll never tell.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 05:12 PM

KB you have been a good friend to me on this thread and I hope after you read my terrible confession you still will be. I never really went away. After my 'farewell post' (as I like to refer to it as), I found I just couldn't stay away. But how could I come back so soon after my lengthy farewell? So I came back - under an alias (2 in fact). Can you guess who i am? Can you ever forgive me? Can any of you forgive me? Shall I ever post here ever again? Can this prodigal son ever return under his original name, or must he sneak in the occasional post under some assumed name? Yes I've been bad, but the heart is good and I have spare posts to give away. Oh misery.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 04:50 PM

IWTATBM! So good to hear from you. There have been a couple of times when I thought "could it be? No, vain hope." But here you are, in the digital flesh. As you can see, we have been busy around here. Still not quite the same without you though. Don't be a stranger.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 04:25 PM

HA HA

POITS day: Piss on it, tomorrow's Saturday.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 04:08 PM

A "ten-poit" scale? That would be the French rating system, I assume. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 04:06 PM

Like we'll hear from Shane on a friday? well, we might if he is completly broke and hasn't been able to cadge drinks from anyone - but the last time that happenned was sometime last century, wasn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 04:03 PM

Hi guys, just passing through the area and thought I'd see how you're getting on. Everybody well?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 03:53 PM

You have said it all, but please don't encourage LH to do with Shatner. On this thread we need to hear from Shane. SOON.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 03:52 PM

That film was a dramatic triumph! Exquisite acting, a great script, outstanding camera work. It should have swept the Golden Globes, the Oscars, Cannes, Sundance, the lot.

Mind you, I didn't actually see the thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 03:38 PM

the movie: 0

shatner's performance:

hmmmm --- that's a hard one.

for *HIM* - probably a six;

for any other actor about 1 x 10 to the minus 6 or so.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 03:26 PM

So, Mario, on a ten-poit scale with 0 being the lowest and 10 the highest, how would you rate

1) the movie
2) Shatner's performance

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 03:25 PM

guest - hearts are good stuffed and braised until tender.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 03:21 PM

Therapy *was* called for after seeing what was indeed an "unforgettable" performance. Believe me I have Tried to forget it. Thankfully the decades have at least blunted the edge of the wholly tramatic experience.

It was the equivilant of listening to a Bach chorale performed by a combination of tone-deaf chimpanzees and tortured dogs.

It was the equivilant of a gastronome being forced to eat at McDonalds; the entire collection of paintings at the louvre being coated in whitewash. It was a desecretion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 03:14 PM

I found a heart in San Francisco. Now I don't know what to do.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 03:10 PM

Really??? Imagine that. You surprise me, Mario. My impression was that I had done an absolutely sterling performance on that part. Surely you jest? Leonard....you know...Leonard Nimoy?...told me I did an "unforgettable" job on that one, and he wouldn't lie, would he? Of course not.

In any case, if it takes you "years to recover" from merely seeing a dramatic film, what are you going to do if something genuinely serious comes along in your life?

I think you should give that some careful consideration, Mario. Therapy might be called for...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 02:57 PM

honestly - I have felt no compunction whatsoever about denigrating you or anything associated with you since you absolutely RUINED zenna Henderson's "The People". it took me years to recover from seeing that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 02:49 PM

No... You did not. You couldn't have.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 02:47 PM

yes, I most certainly did.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 02:41 PM

"Always open season on..." He didn't really mean that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 12:10 PM

they should eat our dust!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 12:09 PM

With this post we have passed the 5,000 thread (unless someone sneaks in ahead of me). Anyway, good job folks.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 12:04 PM

that was net, not gross, right Rapaire? well - the cans where the guys from the Legion spit their baccy were pretty gross, but I meant income.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 12:01 PM

and aside from the occasional infestation of ralfs, things are usually pretty friendly in general around MOAB - well, except for Amos and Rapaire - but they don't mean it, and it's always open season on the Sahtman - but that's normal, and well, Gluon has been known to take a nip at people he hasn't met, but he's just doing his job, if you know what I mean.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 11:59 AM

Sure she does! Well, actually she weighs them before she takes them off to sell to the recyclers. Last year her income from that alone exceeded US $175,000. I know, 'cause I did her taxes for her out of the goodness of my heart and because Mom likes me best.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 11:55 AM

KB - MOAB runs a pretty open place. Kids from the neighborhood are always dropping in cuz they know MOM bakes the bestest cookies and never counts the beer soda cans

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 11:41 AM

MMario,
I have thought about joining the fun at the MOAB but it is kind of intimidating. Sort of like trying to sit in with the London Philharmonic when they are 3/4 of the way through Beethoven's 9th.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 11:31 AM

Only if their wings have been clipped. The wings from buffalo that can fly gets pretty gamey.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 11:31 AM

Dragon wings taste like turkey

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 11:24 AM

Is it my imagination or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 10:13 AM

I resemble that remark! But the BEST wierdos are still over at MOAB; where, I'll have you know, we are comfortably over the fourteen thousand mark. (Seriously - MOAB was concieved as a means of reducing BS clutter elsewhere on the forum)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Amonomiss
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 10:09 AM

This thread is a ploy to keep all the weirdos on one thread. Thankfully, it's working. The head weirdo, that asshole Shane, has been conspicuous by his absence.

Signed,

Amonumis

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 10:04 AM

And they can give you quite a buzz.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 09:25 AM

Empty calories can be good. Especially if one is overweight - and if this thread wants to reach 85 billion it will be WAY overweight.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 09:16 AM

I wouldn't say content-free, exactly, but they are empty calories.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 08:55 AM

It's Shane's fault. He's a Molson-drinking wussy.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 08:41 AM

I'm too embarassed to even tell her.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 08:25 AM

I can't believe this thread is BEHIND the "5000" thread. What is wrong with you people? MOAB would be ashamed of you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 08:34 PM

Well, 99% content-free thanks to the last post.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 07:02 PM

This post has been certified by government inspectors to be 100%content-free.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 06:12 PM

Tell us all your problems on THIS thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: DMcG
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 06:10 PM

heck - I can open MOAB on dial up - you just do it with the paged version - takes hardly longer then a normal thread.

Ah, but the paged version uses about 64 bytes for each link to each page. A page is (I think) 50 posts. That means that the 'index' of pages at the top of the pages for this thread will be far bigger than the pages themselves. How long each page will take to load is left as an exercise for the reader.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 06:10 PM

KT: Your cat needs one of these.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, Anonymous guest
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 05:41 PM

I've learned a good lesson here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 05:38 PM

You asked for it...
She was missing the litter box when she whizzed. I got to thinking and decided that a litter box doesn't need to have been designed as such so I got one of those big plastic storage containers. The thing is 12 inches high. Well, for a few weeks it worked like a charm. Her pee would hit the side and run down into the litter. Lately though, she has been pissing over the top of even this thing. At least the box is in the (unfinished) basement. It's still a pain to have to clean it up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, Anonymous guest
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 05:27 PM

I'm intrigued about the cat KB.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 05:23 PM

My dog doesn't have fleas but he has been scratching a lot lately. Usually just the leg on his side kind of thing, not always in the same spot. Might have to look into a remedy soon. The jingling of his collar gets old. I take it off at night so we can all get some sleep.
Don't even get me started about the cat.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Unusual Person
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 05:12 PM

You're absolutely right guest. Sorry about your dog. Anyway I'm off to bed now as it's getting late here in the UK (OK not that late). Like to think Britain has done its bit for the cause over the last few hours. However, for many of you it's still morning, afternoon or evening so you've no excuses not to carry on posting. (Does this post class as meaningful?).

Night night

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 05:01 PM

Look. Nothin' personal here, but if y'all don't pull yer shit together real soon, we will fall behind. Tempo, folks, tempo. We have to keep posting meaningful snippets of stuff to the thread or we may fail to reach our goal of 85 billion.

Meaninful snippet of information #1:

My dog has fleas.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Unusual Person
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 04:43 PM

Oh alright then I'm distraught. Are you happy now?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 04:40 PM

uh-huh. sure! and I wouldn't like to lose 100 lbs.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Unusual Person
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 04:30 PM

Go on, rub salt into the wound. Anyway I'm really only interested in that 300 post everyone's talking about. The 200 post was just a diversion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 04:22 PM

Ha-Ha! you missed it!

neener-neener!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Unusual Person
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 04:05 PM

Blast.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Unusual Person
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 04:05 PM

ME, ME, ME

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 04:04 PM

now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 04:04 PM

200

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: MMario
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 04:03 PM

heck - I can open MOAB on dial up - you just do it with the paged version - takes hardly longer then a normal thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 04:03 PM

Yes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Unusual Person
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 04:02 PM

Wow, one day posters of the future will read your post DMcG and laugh at how slow computers once were. Are we nearly at 200 posts yet? I'm having that.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: DMcG
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 03:53 PM

How long would it take to open an 85 billion post thread on computers of today's standard?

We can make a guess. Let's assume a good connection speed of 1Mbyte/s. Let's also assume each post is 0.5Kb, so two posts are 1Kb and 2000 posts are a 1Mybte, or 1 second. 85,000,000,000 posts is therefore a mere 42,500,000 seconds. A day is 86,400 seconds. So my advice is don't try and use a dial-up.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Unusual Person
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 03:47 PM

How long would it take to open an 85 billion post thread on computers of today's standard? It take an eternity to open MOAB. (infact I have always given up).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, Anonymous guest
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 03:24 PM

We will reminisce about you lot on MOAB one day.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 03:21 PM

We on MOAB welcome all of you as we push towards 14,000.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, Phoenix
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 02:56 PM

We on the 'Will this thread ever bring world peace?' thread are in on this duel to 300. We may be small, but our heart is big. I know it's not technically a duel then (a truel perhaps?), but we're in anyway - for the sake of world peace.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 09:13 PM

OK then. Forget combining the threads. BUT, all you posters out there, forget the other thread. It will never reach 5,000 posts. At least THIS one has a chance of reaching its goal.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 05:03 PM

Ah, Shane. Do you know how much you now owe the public library? Yes, yes, I know you don't have a library card, or didn't until a few minutes ago. I know you can't even read. But I'll bet you didn't know that you now have over a two thousand dollars owing to the public library, did you? And you know, in Ontario they send the OPP after deadbeats who owe money to governmental agencies like public libraries.

I'll bet you didn't know that I ran the computers for a public library from over ten years, either.

Say "Hi!" to all your friends in Kingston.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 04:59 PM

Nah. I visit there once in a while, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 04:45 PM

We can acconplish two missions with one fell swoop.

COMBINE THE THREADS!

---

Oh, shit. Don't ask me to do that. You couldn't imagine how much work that would be - I have to move messages one at a time to combine threads.
-Joe Offer-

---

only if you want to do it correctly, Joe! You could use the lazy-man's merger by just highlighting and copying the whole thread into a post on the other thread. -- clone --

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 04:39 PM

I meant to post this on another thread, guess I goofed.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 04:32 PM

I'm back, eh! Totally decent. The poyson ivy is all gone and I am back on toppa my game here, ennertainin' the local girls and gettin' wasted. I just wanta say one thing. Anyone who posts here on this thread is a total flippin' goof!

And Rapaire sucks on old smelly sneakers cos he is an idiot!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 04:26 PM

It has been suggested over on the "Will this thread reach 5000 posts?" thread that there be a "mini-duel" between that thread and this one to see which is first to reach 300 posts. However, since the cast of posters to both that thread and this one consist, by and large, of the same bunch of fools, doesn't that make any such competition meaningless, pointless, and absurd since we would be competing against ourselves? Yes, it does! Splendid! Please carry on and may the best thread win.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 04:19 PM

My buddy Joe Ohnemus had a sister named Ann. Really.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 03:31 PM

Hi Ana.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Anna Nammus
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 03:14 PM

Why can't any of you spell my name correctly? It really gets annoying sometimes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, Anonymous guest
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 03:11 PM

Just read a post on the 5000 thread. They're starting to sweat.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, Anonymous guest
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 02:45 PM

DMcG,

Fair doos DMcg you are one of the first 10 posters and I congratulate you for it.

Personally I think the first 100 posters will be celebrities when we reach the 85 billion mark. Guest 'WAMAM' has a case of sour grapes me thinks. However I share your difficulty with the spelling of annonymouse

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 02:27 PM

Yes. He's a home-grown Ontario boy. Remember, a house with floors don't need ashtrays.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 02:01 PM

The throwing, the tracking, the puking, or all three?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 01:23 PM

"Mother MOAB threw Shane out of the house for tracking manure all over the carpet and then puking on the sofa."

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 01:19 PM

Mother MOAB threw Shane out of the house for tracking manure all over the carpet and then puking on the sofa.

No, Mother most decidedly does not want Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 12:10 PM

Joey: We want you, Shane. Mother wants you. I know she does!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 11:09 AM

OK.

Time for an election.

I vote for Shane to be the head wanker. Any nays?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 11:05 AM

This is addressed to all who post to this thread hereafter referred to as WAMAM.

THINK! When this thread DOES reach 85 billion posts, the issue of whether you were in the first 10 or the first 100 will be of such unimportance it will be awe-inspiring. Witness the following brethren and brethrenettes:

If you are in the first 10, you will have been in the first tiny bit of a percent. If you were in the first 100, you will be in a percent that is 10 times greater yet so infinitely small that it would make the pyramids seem pyramidial.

I should take the time to explain that WAMAM is "Wankers Anonimus, Male and Female", but I can't spell Anonymis.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 11:04 AM

Well, there are supposed to be billyuns and billyuns of posts.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: DMcG
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 10:49 AM

I have - I am counting posters, not posts!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Anonymus guest
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 10:45 AM

Count again DMcG and welcome to the 'First 100' crowd

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: DMcG
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 09:32 AM

And I reckon I'm a member of the "First 10" club, unlike these Johnny-come-lately "First 100" crowd.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: DMcG
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 09:29 AM

English billions are not different to American ones any more. They used to be a thousand times bigger, when I were a lad. But as scientists never used the term offically (its not in the SI system) and only economists and governments had a common reason to use such big numbers they agreed to standardise on the American system sometime in the 70's I believe.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: folk_kitty
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 07:43 AM

After having sat here for 20 minutes and read this whole damn thread, i feel compelled to write and add a post to contribute to the stirling effort to reach 85 billion posts, and to say that before today I didn't know that US billions and UK billions were different, so I have not only been entertained, but also informed. Keep up the good work!
Now I really must go and do what I came here to do...
-Kitty.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Anonymus guest
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 06:43 AM

Thanks Joe, that would be me. Can you recommend us to your friends?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 13 Sep 06 - 02:35 AM

Somebody said I was supposed to contribute to this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 10:09 PM

Too bad Carl Sagan's dead. His voice would have been a great addition to this thread. The way he said "billion" was so cool.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 06:33 PM

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? My friends all drive Porsches.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 06:10 PM

I hear the song for two weeks at least twice per night while it was being 'written' (developed). NO MORE, please.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 04:50 PM

"I------------ don't want a pickle"

So, do you prefer the (recorded) live version or the studio version?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 04:40 PM

"I------------ don't want a pickle"

That's too bad, I was looking to unload some.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Kaleea
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 04:03 PM

I------------ don't want a pickle . . .

   


               I just wanna ride on my mo-------tersick-ull!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 04:00 PM

I have been trying to pull myself out of my funk. Life without IWTATBM has been tougher than I imagined. I just have to buck up and be strong. Every day and in every way &c &c.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 11:22 AM

Look, you friggin' wankers--both male and female: If we do NOT post at least twice a day we will NEVER reach 85 billion posts in our lifetimes. So WAKE UP!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 12 Sep 06 - 11:13 AM

Just realised in my 'Farewell Post' above (as I like to refer to it as), that I never actually wished those sticking with the thread good luck. So 'good luck' to all you supporters of this magnificent thread. If only the current bunch of threads were as good as this one the world would be a better place. It still amazes me that it's not topping a thousand by now, but I digress.

Anyway as I said before... you will never hear ...etc, etc.

Farewell and adieu

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 06 Sep 06 - 09:18 AM

I used to have a pickle lunch box. Not a lunch box with pictures of pickles, a big plastic lunch box shaped like a pickle. It was sweet, no, it was dill. I don't care for sweet pickles, I like big old sour dills. Anyhoo, I really liked it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:52 PM

A Child's Garden Of Grass

A precious Seventies classic, August 25, 2005
Reviewer:        Jack Jackinowicz
I discovered this book at the library of the Catholic elementary school I went to around 1973. Yep, apparently the nun in charge of buying books was browsing the bestseller list and assumed from the title that it was a childrens' book. Ha haaaaw!! Rick D. and I checked it out in turns and loved it. Of course its content was soon discovered and it was removed from the library (no doubt incinerated), but Rick and I did a joint order (heh heh) to Pocket Books and got each of ourselves a copy. I haven't laid eyes on this title for nearly twenty years, but I can still quote it at length. Like the part that warns you not to get *too* good at rolling joints, because you'll end up sitting in the corner rolling your stupid joints while everyone is going down to the lake for skinny dipping. Or the intro, where the authors say they don't smoke grass and never have, everything in the book is based on what their friend "Ernie Lundquist" told them. Or that nothing is bad when you're stoned, except getting arrested, and even *that's* a learning experience. Or that the results of using a "steamboat" (their term for a big glass waterless bong) would make "even the mighty Zeus shake his head in disbelief." Or referring to the things you will do stoned and not get bored or feel silly, like picking lint off your dog or watching The Flying Nun. I actually think of this book often, after all this time. Highly recommended, even if you've never had a puff in your life (which is, looking back on the effects grass had on my life, my recommendation).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:43 PM

From "A Child's Garden of Grass":

'You may not like dill pickles, but it is after all the only thing you can do with a cucumber.'

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:32 PM

"Dills, beets, what?"

DILLS! DILLS! goddamn it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:19 PM

No, that does not say it all. In fact it says nothing at all. It's a picture. Pictures may be "worth a thousand words", but they don't really say the words. They just symbolize them in some abstract fashion.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:14 PM

Dills, beets, what?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:13 PM

Please, I don't want to hear from pickles, I've put up 23 quarts so far and I'm just about pickled out.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:06 PM

Shore do, LH.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:05 PM

I think this really says it all...

Don't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:05 PM

Another:

"Once upon a time . . .".

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 09:02 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 08:55 PM

That's a piece of tail.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 08:53 PM

Here's one furlong . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: bobad
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 08:49 PM

"How long is a trice?"

About 3 furlongs per fortnight.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 08:46 PM

You are wide awake and bushy tailed, aren't you!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 08:40 PM

Oh. I thought How Long was a Chinese fellow.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 08:37 PM

A trice is about as long as a piece of string.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 08:32 PM

How long is a trice?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 07:15 PM

Hey, KB: Watch you don't herniate yourself . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 05:36 PM

How can we miss. It falls off and is brought back up. IWTATBM has given the thread new life more than once. Now that he has gone on to a new stage in life I will try to pick up the mantle. I can only hope that I prove worthy. I shall endeavor to persevere.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 05:19 PM

At this rate we will hit 85 billion in a trice.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Anonymus guest
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 04:57 PM

Good old KB

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 04:53 PM

Oh, IWTATBM, say it isn't so! We've been through so much. The dark days, the white nights. I don't know if I can, no, I don't know if I care to, go on without you. I know I should have posted more often and really, I meant to. I haven't been well you see. I also don't want to seem over-anxious. People can be so cruel with the endless whisperings and talking behind my back. They think I don't hear them but I do and they're on my list. Oh, despair!

BTW, I think the post from "Shimbles" should be deleted, or at least renamed.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Anonymous guest
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 04:45 PM

Good old Peace

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,ClantonHummond
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 04:39 PM

Oh, bog off, you moron.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Shimbles
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 04:35 PM

Perhaps it would be of more benefit to examine the reasons why threads like this are deliberately scorned and ignored by those members of this forum who regard themselves as more important than other people who may not have been here as long, but who nevertheless should have a right to say their piece in an equal fashion, and not be discriminated against in subtle ways or subjected to what can only be termed a torrent of abuse. Personal insults are tolerated when they are issued by the aforementioned people, but excoriated when they are issued by the latter. Perhaps we should all take a good look at what is actually happening and ask ourselves if this sort of behaviour is conducive to maintaining a healthy community of if it is not?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 04:28 PM

Oh, ye of little faith . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 04:24 PM

It is with great regret that I have to inform fellow posters on this thread ('specially the 100ers) it is my firm belief that this thread is now dead in the water. For a few heady days back in June it seemed as though we were at the start of something big. A radical young prophet by the name of Blind DRunk in Blind River gave a coded message that showed a few people (why so few?) a glimpse of eternity. Yes we were young. Yes we were foolish. But we wanted to make a difference (with Tee shirts and everything), but it wasn't to be. I for one can't continue with the hurt as each day passes with no more posts keeping us on track with our one billion goal. I'm not sure of the intentions of the other 'followers', but I for one am signing off a near (but not totally) broken man. You will never again see a post from 'good old' I was there at the beginning man, on this or any other thread.

Perhaps one day, however, in a few years time, you will read another post that will cause you to ask, "Could that person be...?. No surely not?... But is sounds a bit like him, though the name is different?..." ... It might be comrades, it might be.

But before I do go I just want to say a heartfelt 'farewell' to all my friends (if I can call you that?) who kept me entertained on cold summer's evenings.

Well goodbye then, you shall never hear from me again.

It's over.

Farewell

Farewell.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 09:41 AM

Danged right, Peace. I completely agree with whatever it was you said. (You goin' into politics now?)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 11:02 PM

Protendum abrogitanus indolomante sidium.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 04:27 PM

We can but hope KB, we can but hope.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 04:21 PM

IWTATBM, your spare post idea sounds good to me. Keeps folks from being able to join on the whim of "First 100" poster (after a night at the bar (or pub) for instance) but without any sort of blackball possibilities. My question is, will our future selves abide by this?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 04:10 PM

I'll take it that from the non-response everybody is OK with my spare posts idea. Expect a tidal wave of requests any moment now.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 01:46 PM

Last time Shane picked up a gun he forgot to put the cork in the hole, put the gun in his pocket, the water all leaked down the front of his pants...and he never noticed, because the front of his pants are usually wet.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 12:28 PM

Shane: Do you mind putting down that gun? Then I'll leave.
Joe Starrett: What difference does it make, you're leaving anyway?
Shane: I'd like it to be my idea.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 12:08 PM

Hah! At the rate this thread is gathering steam, 85 billion is a mere trifle! I say we shoot for an even hundred billion!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 12:05 PM

Hey, Shane! This thread will help your love life.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 11:55 AM

I lived with a mountain lion for three years and she never did get used to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 09:19 AM

Please note that in the previous post I used the word BOY in the sense of an immature human male (or, in Shane's case, someone who is presumed to be human). No racial slur was intended.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 09:14 AM

Dear Shane,

Please feel free to visit Idaho. It's a lovely state, with great beer (yes, we'll even sell you Molsons if you really must drink Canada's answer to Budweiser). As for your offer to "STARAIGHTEN YOU OUT!!!", I go to an osteopath when I have back problems.

If I misread your offer and you mean that you would attempt to do me physical injury, I really should advise you that not only did I teach hand-to-hand combat when I was in the Army but that I am also a very, very good shot with pistol, rifle, and shotgun.

Unlike you, I also have an extensive vocabulary and I'm not afraid to use it.

BOY, I can out-fight, out-drink, out-love, out-drive, out-think, out-argue, out-shoot, and out-last YOU and ten REAL men! My mother was a nuclear explosion and my daddy was a mountain lion! My grandparents were a hurricane, a tornado, a lightning storm, and a nest of rattlesnakes! The second-last man who messed with me I tore into a hundred pieces and scattered them to the wind! They never did find anything of the LAST man to mess with me, 'cause I ground him into dust! I drink nitroglycerin and Semtek for breakfast and spit explosions all day! I swin the Inside Passage every day for exercise and my wake washes away coastal cities! I use the Arctic ice cap to cool my drinks! I've IGNORED better men than you'll ever be, and I'm assuming you're a man because you sure as hell can't prove it physically, mentally or genetically!

Yes, please do come visit Idaho. It's a lovely state and I'm certain that you'd like it here. Why, you may never leave!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 12:26 AM

You flippin' bolthead, Rapaire! I'll get you! Yer time will come, you mungo-less looser! Get ready to kiss the glove, you flippin' retreaded halfwit son of a Sudbury crack skank! I have, like, had about enuff of yer stupid insults, you dumb corkpuller! I am gonna come down to Idaho one a these days and STARAIGHTEN YOU OUT!!! FLIP YOU!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 10:12 PM

Nah, Shane wears the thongs of ecstacy while engaging in the throws of ecstacy. So far he's never experienced either one -- just a doughnut hole at Tim Horton's (which he entered under the mistaken notion that the first syllable of the last name meant it had something to do with ladies of less than good repute).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 09:19 PM

"You mean the THROWS of escstasy, you stupid FLIP!"

Shane, you twit, sober up. It is the "throes of ecstacy".

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 08:25 PM

Don't flippin' waste yer big words on me, eh? I ain't impressed!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 08:10 PM

And then defenestrated.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 05:09 PM

I move that Shane be included and then immediately excommunicated.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 04:44 PM

So we've reached 100, congratulations to all involved - sterling work. May I suggest that any requests for spare posts are required to be seconded by another member? Let me run you through an example and see how you feel...

(e.g.) "Malcolm Douglas has requested one of my spare posts in order to join the 'First 100' club. I am happy with this and would like a seconder. Is anyone willing to second that the afore mentioned Malcolm Douglas be admitted to the 'First 100' club?"

Just to prevent any misunderstanding, the Mudcat Malcolm Douglas has not (as yet) requested to join the 'First 100' club and the Malcolm Douglas that I am referring to here is, in fact, a fictitious character created by myself in order to illustrate the example. Indeed the 'First 100'club as a name is only an example of what the elite 100 members may want to refer to themselves as.

What do you think fellow 100 members?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 11:20 AM

I gotta start paying more attention. I coulda had #100 but didn't think about it. Maybe if I wear a thong to get myself into the throngs of ectasy. It's worth a try. Can't hurt, could be fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 05:51 PM

Shane likes the thongs of ectasy. He wears 'em all the time.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 05:34 PM

You weren't here, Shane. They were throngs. Thousands of the little bastards.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 05:02 PM

You mean the THROWS of escstasy, you stupid FLIP! Not the throngs, the throws, eh? Everybody knows that. What a flippin' goof!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 03:24 PM

"It may not reach 85,000,000,00, but it'll definitely reach..."

Didn't have you down as a pessimist Bee-dubya-ell.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 02:22 PM

"Should've just said 85 billion instead of trying to type 85,000,000,000 while in the throngs of ecstacy."

Pass it over here will ya?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 01:38 PM

Sorry, in my state of excitement over being the one to make the hundredth post, I omitted a zero. Should've just said 85 billion instead of trying to type 85,000,000,000 while in the throngs of ecstacy. Fewer keystrokes anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 01:34 PM

It may not reach 85,000,000,00, but it'll definitely reach

100

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 01:25 PM

It's been running an average of slightly over 1.50669 posts per day, so at that rate it would be sometime around the middle of February, 155,253,147 CE.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 12:05 PM

Hadrian's Wall was good KB, though it rained a fair bit. Took 2 days of walking from Wall's End to find the first bit of wall however (excluding the museum at the start). It was quite funny to see how much of the wall could be found in the surrounding buildings. Just wish now I had focussed more on the wall and its history and less time thinking about how this thread was doing (e.g. "If only this thread could have been started in Roman times."..... " I wonder how many times around the earth 85 billion miles of wall would go?"... etc, etc). Still I doubt the wall will be around for as long as this thread and perhaps one day people will be taking a journey back to the origin of it and wondering how we lived? Exciting .

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 04:28 PM

Hey, IWTATBM, how was Hadrian's Wall?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 01:26 PM

Ya know, I've been in hudreds of post offices, but the only posts I've ever seen are those stanchions used for crowd control. Lots of letters and packages, but damned few posts. Maybe the post office is just where they keep track of the posts while the posts themselves are kept at the post warehouse?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 01:17 PM

I think we've seen the end of the 50,000 posts thread - just a flash in the pan.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 11:54 AM

These oughta help!

Some more posts

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 11:58 PM

Flippin' right, man! There are those who have lived. Like yers truly. And there are those who ain't. Them kind won't never know what it means to cut loose and just BE who ya flippin' ARE and not give a dman who don't like it. That includes judges and cops!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 11:54 PM

Or like when ya just get outta the hoosecow from an over-night DDO and the judge gives ya time served.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 11:50 PM

Just like a buncha flippin' dogs comin' back to pee on a lampost!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 09:20 PM

Well, now that the boss is back, we'll have to get POSTing here. HAHAHA.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 09:18 PM

POST

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 05:50 PM

KERRR-Unchie!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 05:45 PM

Jaysus, Slag. I thought that you were advertising cereals. I was gonna post a pic.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 05:36 PM

I spent three weeks in Blind River one night, so, thou who was there at the beginning man, I am not he. I have no such pretensions. BDiBR is one of Canada's coolest citizens. Shane has the corner on the illegal booze market in Blind River, Ontario. Well, he did until he drank the profits with some ladies of the evening. He spends lotsa time in jail through no fault of his own, and I think he was an astronaut one time years ago, but that may have been after he smoked a few doobies and it could be a story he made up to impress the Earth-bound. He has also been caught wearing women's clothing. And he has a big-time boner for a lady cop in Blind River. He claims the gun scares him but the handcuffs excite him.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 05:32 PM

POST, there, You're one billionth the way there.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 05:31 PM

POST

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 05:30 PM

POST

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 05:29 PM

POST

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 05:29 PM

POST

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 03:03 PM

He ain't me, man. He is just, like, one of the dudes who thinks I am, like, the coolest, eh? He hangs on my every flippin' word.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 02:42 PM

Peace are you announcing that YOU are in fact BDiBR (just to clear this up)?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 02:35 PM

You are addressing BDiBR. Think about that line, "Is anything getting through?"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 02:31 PM

While on holiday I spent most of my time wondering if this thread would have nearer 1000 or 2000 posts by now. Imagine my shock to find there was only 6 new posts since my last one. However, in the big scheme of things I suppose one week will make little difference in the end (whenever that will be), so I'm cheerful once again. Perhaps a little encouragement from our spiritual leader Blind DRunk in Blind River will get the show on the road again. Do you have a message for us BDIBR? Is anything coming through?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Aug 06 - 01:28 AM

The lucky ones?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 18 Aug 06 - 03:03 PM

I have long assumed that he already has.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 06 - 02:12 PM

One might as well ask, "Will William Shatner get to seduce 85 Billion women?"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Aug 06 - 01:15 AM

BTW: To clarify a few things: Do you mean 85 American billions or 85 British billions? It could make a big difference to some of us.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Aug 06 - 01:05 AM

I was tempted to go and post again to the 5000 posts thread, but it struck me that THIS THREAD is one way--small albeit--to grab onto a tiny piece of immortality. I was particularly encouraged to see that we are measurably closer to the goal. To quote from an old song, "Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 06:48 PM

I thought it was Peace who cast the pox?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 05:27 PM

That's my thread above, no charade, plain honest error.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 05:25 PM

I think it might have been me that mentioned reincarnation Ebbie if that's what you're referring to? If so please can you make the pox wait until after the 26th as I'm going on holiday and need to be fit as I'm walking Hadian's Wall. Thanks in hope. Will see you all in a week (pox permitting!). May the thread be with you.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 04:07 PM

hahahha Where my child? All over the place.

(A pox on the first person to talk about reincarnation!)

Reincarnation. Reincarnation. Recarnation...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 01:16 PM

Actually, it was me. I was trying to pose as a new poster but I just can't keep up this charade.

I guess my future selves now have two spare posts. I hope they give them to someone who is worthy of them. It would tear me apart if that low down dirty dog Wilfred Pennifere gets one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 12:59 PM

That's the spirit most recent guest. Name yourself and come aboard.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 10:26 AM

Only 84,999,999,935 to go. I think we're gonna make it.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 10:50 AM

Look Blind DRunk in Blind River, you may have started this thread but you don't own it. It's bigger than you - in fact it's bigger than all of us. Seems to me rather like this thread has come through you rather than from you (no put-down inferred, believe me). So get over yourself and be proud of the not-so insignificant part you have played in what I feel is developing a spiritual quality.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 08:03 PM

2653¹⁰

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: ella_tall
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 07:01 PM

Interesting concept here, the whole 85 billion thing - but why stick to the paltry sum of 85bn? Are we not limiting ourselves by bashing around these insignificant figures?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 05:46 PM

Them guys are pretty cool, eh? But they are 70's hosers and things have, like, Changed since then. WE don't wear toques any more, eh? We wear flippin' baseball caps turned around backweards now. The jackets are basickly okay. Same goes fer the work boots.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 05:31 PM

It's a spatula, HOSER! Real hosers at work.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 05:28 PM

FLIP ME! This thing is still goin'? Unbee-flippin'-leavable! This place is like of them balanced puppet things that ya hit, and every time it comes back up again, no matter how hard ya hit it. I had one of them stoopid things when I was a little kid. My brother Don finally pored it all over with gasoleen and set the flipper on fire and that got rid of it for good, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 04:39 PM

I tend to agree with you Iwtatbm. At this rate, many of us could pass on before we reach the goal. (A pox on the first person to talk about reincarnation!)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 03:59 PM

I think we're going to have to up the rate of postings if we're to stay on schedule.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JennyO
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 09:33 AM

mmmmm! pie.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 14 Aug 06 - 02:21 PM

Will there be an order form for the T-Shirt? Are we going to have a choice of colors or will they all be the same? Just some things my future selves will be wondering. I am really excited about this. We can have monthly newsletters and an annual gathering. I'll bring a pie.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 14 Aug 06 - 04:20 AM

54!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 13 Aug 06 - 07:44 AM

Just realised that while not among the first 50 to post a message, am among the first 50 people! However I am throwing my lot in with the first 100 - don't want to seem too elitist. Also realise that by posting again am denying someone the opportunity to be among the first 100, so will dedicate this post to the first person who requests it from me after 100 (and who doesn't already own a post!) Can't say fairer than that.

p.s. Have noticed my there/they're error in previous thread - am so sorry to anyone who is disgusted by this - so out of character.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 06 - 03:12 PM

LOL! Yes, you are among the chosen few. And so am I. Doesn't it feel wonderful?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 12 Aug 06 - 12:26 PM

Hoped I would be among the first 50, but looks as if I'll have to settle for the first 100. Still, something to boast about one day.... "Did you know I was one of the first 100 to post a message on the 'Will this thread etc, etc. They said it never could be done.... there not so smug now".
This thread could be the highlight of my life, or future lives if we are reincarnated and can remember previous lives. We could organise a first 100 club perhaps, the other billions of people would be so jealous wouldn't they. Can anyone do T shirts?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: skipy
Date: 11 Aug 06 - 04:41 PM

Nope!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 11 Aug 06 - 04:39 PM

In terms of dog years, er I mean dollars that's like les than 1/4 the US's annual budget. All you have to do is tax, I mean TAX Mudcatters to post and you'll have it done in um, say about 3 months.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Aug 06 - 04:31 PM

no one has yet computed the difference in possible success if Shambles is allowed to continue posting, or whether he is locked in a room with Kim Howells and transcripts of all the PELs threads.

I make it oh...about 8742 years shorter.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 06 - 03:56 PM

"RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?"

Make a few assumptions:

1) Everyone who ever lived WOULD have posted had s/he had a computer and the 'cat had existed.

2) ("It is said that the current world population of 6.5 billion represents one-fifth of the people who have been alive in the last five thousand years. That means that in five thousand years there have only been 32.5 billion people who have not posted to this thread.") SEE #1.

3) They each posted to the thread once a day for three consecutive days.

OK, so it's like this: The thread should already have REACHED a paltry 85 billion posts.

Joe, you have lots to answer for. WHERE ARE THE POSTS?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Willie Dewitt
Date: 11 Aug 06 - 03:50 PM

Evidently not.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 Jul 06 - 02:02 PM

Don't misunderestimate me, Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Jun 06 - 05:58 PM

Ha! I see youse flipheads finally wized up and stopped poasting to this dumb thread, eh? You ain't all as stoopid as I thoght.

- BDiBR

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 10:02 AM

What about the extra day due to leap years? Don't forget those!



Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 09:21 PM

19,646 characters for the first 41 posts = 479.17 characters per post average.

85*10⁹ posts at 479.17 characters per post = 40,729.45*10⁹ characters, or 40.7*10¹² bytes. (<41 TB)

While this implies 41 1 TB drives for storage, an article in 2002 that fairly accurately predicted the 1 TB drive should arrive "about now" also predicts that we will have 120 TB drives by around the year 2012. As it's doubtful that the first 1 TB can be filled prior to that time, advances in available hardware should allow the purchase of only one additional hard drive by the time it's needed, and we should have lots of room left over.

(Of course, we'll need a backup drive for this valuable information.)

From the same article, the 28 million volumes at the US Library of Congress are estimated, in plain text files, as sufficent to fill one fifth of a 120 TB drive, so the "one third of a drive" needed for this thread won't be all that large.

And of course, if we have to use the 2012 version of Windows to run the drive, the OS may use the rest of it.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 06:45 PM

If you think it would take a long time for 85 billion people to post to this thread, consider the alternative! It will also take a long time for 85 billion people to not post to this thread!

It is said that the current world population of 6.5 billion represents one-fifth of the people who have been alive in the last five thousand years. That means that in five thousand years there have only been 32.5 billion people who have not posted to this thread. In order for 85 billion people to have not posted to this thread, we'll have to wait for another 52.5 billion people to have been born and lived their lives without having posted to this thread.

How long will that take? I dunno. It probably won't take another five thousand years, but it ain't gonna happen next week.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: DMcG
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 10:26 AM

Yeah, but he can't wait until all the posts are done to get the first TB drive, if we're really serious about this. Current price per TB (single drives) is about $750 - $1,000 each. And we've only got about 251,000 years before the first one is full and we'll need to get the second one.
Well, that's true as far as it goes, but we can only reckon on, say, 5 years lifetime for a drive. By which time the price should have fallen to something like one-eighth of its previous cost. We have to keep on doing this for the first 251000 years, so we have a total cost of something like

1000*(1 + 1/8 + 1/64 + 1/256 + ......) for the first 251000 years, and then we have two drives to worry about....

But of course, that's only the hardware cost. We also need to add in an allowance for Max's time to copy all the data about at some hourly rate to be decided. This of course is higher each time he copies it, and is something like 20% higher that then previous time.

The total estimate cost is left as an exercise to the reader.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Slag
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 02:07 AM

...84,999,999,989, 84,999,999,990, 84,999,999,991, 84,999,999,992, 84,999,999,993, 84,999,999,994, ...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Mrs Olive Whatnoll
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 05:20 PM

Bee-Dubya-Ell is a stupid prat! E's capable of anyfink, that's my opinion. This 'ere bloody fread will reach 85 billion posts the day I am crowned Queen of England...which is to say: NEVER!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 03:47 PM

Bee-Dub

Hah! John in Kansas forgot to factor the changes in day and year length that will occur over the next 8,559,538 years into his calculations!

It may be assumed, probably safely, that appropriate calendar corrections will be applied by the appropriate time-keepers so that no corrections for said changes in day and year length should be required.

Dumbass Bee-Dub failed to check the arithmetic and point out that 27 posts accounts for only 26 intervals between posts, so the first division was incorrect, producing an error of 3.846% - an intentional trap to see if the arithmetically illiterate would fall for it.

(But the Bee wasn't really the one I expected to have to point it out to.)

John

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 01:56 PM

You should see how he dresses...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 01:53 PM

huh? You talk funny, BDiBR..

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 01:06 PM

Never under-flippin'-guesstimate the stuipdity of the postin' public, eh?

- BDiBR

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 10:09 AM

but ALL of you failed to factor in how fast it will go if Bee-dubya-ell passes on his technique to his children...and grandchildren. Why in a few generations we could have thousands of little Dubya-ells proliferating the redundancies of non-erudite, voluminous vicissitudes with blazing speed! Why, we might finish in time for St. Swithin's day celebrations in 18,923.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 08:53 AM

Hah! John in Kansas forgot to factor the changes in day and year length that will occur over the next 8,559,538 years into his calculations!

And Giok neglected to consider the effects of plate tectonics, continental drift, and the development of Antarctica as prime beachfront property as it migrates toward the equator.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 06:07 AM

Sorry folks but by that time the earth will be almost too hot to support life and the few people that are left will be living underground at the poles, getting limited water from desalination plants, which use what is left of the sea to make drinking water, and run the hydroponicums.
Mind you by then you won't have enough contributors so you won't need to buy another disc.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 04:50 AM

DMcG -

Yeah, but he can't wait until all the posts are done to get the first TB drive, if we're really serious about this. Current price per TB (single drives) is about $750 - $1,000 each. And we've only got about 251,000 years before the first one is full and we'll need to get the second one.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: DMcG
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 03:42 AM

The average post in this thread is some 400 characters. So Max only needs to buy about 34 Terabytes of storage. That should cost about 1c (current prices) by 8,561,544.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 03:01 AM

First Post: 24 Jun 06 - 01:31 PM
27th Post: 25 Jun 06 - 12:41 AM
Elapsed time: 23:50 = 1430 minutes
Time per post: 52.96296 minute
Expected time for 85*10⁹ posts = 4.50185*10¹² minutes
           =7.503*¹⁰ hours
           =3.126*⁹ days
           = 8.56*10⁶ years

Expected success date:

In the year 8,561,544, 11 September - 09:17 PM (Mudcat time.)

(approximately)

John

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:17 PM

SEVENTEEN!!!

Now what was so hard about that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:16 PM

16

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:16 PM

15

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:15 PM

14

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:15 PM

13

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:15 PM

12

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:15 PM

11

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:14 PM

10

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:14 PM

9

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:14 PM

8 (over half-way there)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:13 PM

7

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:13 PM

6

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:13 PM

5

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:13 PM

4

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:12 PM

3

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:12 PM

2

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:12 PM

Come on you pessimists! All it would take to get 85 billion posts would be for each person in the world to post to this thread seventeen times. Just seventeen times! What's the problem?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 06:09 PM

Once I led the life of a billionaire ♪♫
G

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 06:04 PM

...Not unless Max gets a really fast connection.

At 10,000 posts per day (just to this thread) you're talking 23,272+ years¹ worth of posts.

¹ US billions 10⁹, not UK billions 10¹². The Brits will get there a bit later.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 05:53 PM

Hey, Shane. I ever tell you about that party I had with that exotic dancer who said she was a Canadian cop? Boy, oh boy, could she ever...drink.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 04:33 PM

Maybe.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 03:12 PM

Leadfingers will be SO disappointed.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 03:03 PM

Can when it suits me!
G

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 02:57 PM

You can't count too flippin' good can you?

- BDiBR

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 02:01 PM

Eightyfive billion yaaay, I claim my prize.
Giok

Subject: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 01:31 PM

Let's flippin' hope not, eh! Cos if it, like, did, eh, it would be a major flippin' WASTE of a lotta peoples' time, eh? I mean, FLIP, it ain't like we aint' got better flippin' things ta do with our time, know what I mean? Fer instence, we could be drinkin'. We could be gettin' it on with someone we just met at the wet T-shirt night over at the Iron Horse Tavern. We could be borrowin' somebodys car or snowmoblie that ain't in use right now cos they are too flippin' lazy to pay attenshun to it and we could be goin' for a joyride up to Timmins, eh? There's a lotta stuff we could do that would be, like, WAY more fun than flippin' postin' to this stupid flippin' thread! In fact, I am gonna crack open a beer right now and lissen to some AC-DC. See ya later!

- BDiBR