BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 01:48 PM

Yes. You know a man is decent and reliable if he's wearing trousers.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 01:45 PM

My leg coverings for today don't qualify as trousers, they are of the jeans variety. Just yesterday, however, I wore a pair of tan trousers that needed ironing. I don't really like to wear trousers (not sure why, most likely suppressed feelings from my childhood) but I do so love the word. It makes me think of Fred Astaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 01:35 PM

You are so right! Do you favor dark or light trousers?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 01:17 PM

I think the word 'trousers' is sadly under-used these days. I hereby resolve to intersperse conversations with trousers whenever possible. Thank you for your time.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 02 Oct 07 - 10:40 AM

Here's a nice one.

Or maybe this one.

And another.

This just might be my favorite.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 01 Oct 07 - 02:21 PM

Wakey, wakey. Hey this is the first ever October 2007 post. I'll make a badge.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 09:54 PM

I have dimples growing out of my forehead. Is there some special significance to that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 05:31 PM

Mysterious, isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 03:50 PM

You get that, too?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 02:55 PM

What about when you get those little horns growing on your head? What's that all about?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 02:45 PM

Well, my eyesight isn't what it once was, can't vouch for the other. What about hair on the palms? No mention of that?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 07 - 09:22 AM

I drew attention to myself once, and Sister Pugnicia whacked me a good one and screamed so the whole class could hear, "You're going to go blind and insane doing that!" Then she calmed down and said that I'd only go blind since I couldn't go to where I already was.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 05:46 PM

That's the trouble with attention. It's so often the wrong kind of attention.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 05:24 PM

I'm guessing that hollering "Free Beer" in the middle of the night would draw some attention. Not sure I really want that kind of attention, though, be it from Shane or some other source. Thanks for the suggestion but I think I'll try to come up with another way to draw Shane out of the shadows.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 05:23 PM

Not according to him. He swears that there are girls lined up from here to Albuquerque just panting for his company...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 05:02 PM

Whereas "Shane" usually only attracts flies and the police.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 05:02 PM

At the very least you'll attract attention.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 11:54 AM

Go outside the next time it happens and yell, "Free Beer! Getch'er free beer here, eh?"

If the 3rd owl is channeling Shane it will be there in a flash.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 11:13 AM

So this is like some cosmic thing or something. Last night, yes, LAST NIGHT, I got up to pee (that isn't the cosmic part, it's coming up next) and when I got back in bed I heard... drum roll please... The Owls! That's right, just days after discussing it here on the Mudcat, they came around to serenade me. Not only that but there were three, not just the two I have heard before. I am wondering if the third one is channeling Shane somehow. It had a call that was distinctly different from the original two.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 06:15 PM

Ain't nobody quite a low as "Shane."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 04:36 PM

Good on yer Shane, I see an honorary knighthood at the end of this. I'll have a word with HM when I next see her.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 01:58 PM

He always does.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 01:56 PM

Oh, yeah, I forgot to say... Nice to hear from you again Shane. Remember, aim low.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 01:54 PM

Good for you, Shane. Give those intergalactic bad guys hell, eh? And watch out for the Romulan ale! That stuff really hits you bad the next day.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 09:55 AM

An owl, perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 09:30 AM

LOOK! Up in the sky!

It's a bird!

It's a "Shane!"





No...it's a bird....

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 09:08 AM

"Shane" is saving the Universe.

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay....

Did I ever mention that I'm really Don Cherry?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 09:42 PM

What is this flippin' flip about owls? ARe you people nuits or somethin? I'm savin' the flippin' univers and your goin' on about flippin' owls! And who cares if littel Hawk's dogs sleep all flippin' day or pee on his flippin' bed? I'm tryin' to SAVE THE FLIPPIN' UNIVERSE and you people don't care! Well, when it's saved you'll be flippin' bowing down in graditude and I'll just kick you in the goolies. Unless your a girl and have some beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 02:53 PM

Yes, I assume the owls are declaring territorial rights, but they do it so well.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 12:56 PM

Those owls are probably declaring territorial rights.

My dog does spend a great deal of the day sleeping, but he's too lazy to chase mice and squirrels. I know that's a pretty astonishing degree of laziness, but it's true. I think it's because the vet snipped off his little jewels when he was young that he is so lacking in initiative. The only thing that really moves him is food.

Perhaps the same would be true of the vet if the same operation had been done on him early in life...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 09:41 AM

We sometimes hear two owls hooting at night. They hoot to each other in a call and response fashion. One has a distinctly higher pitch than the other. I wonder which trees they are in. It has been going on for a few years now. I wonder if it has been the same owls the whole time, I don't know how long owls live. Whatever the story, it is a wonderful thing.

Our dog does not hoot under any circumstances.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 09:14 PM

Your dog hoots? I thought dogs barked and owls hooted. Have you checked to see if there is any owl in your dog's background? Perhaps your dog sleeps during the day, or chases mice and squirrels -- that would indicate owlism in the poor pup's genetics.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 06:57 PM

My dog doesn't give 2 hoots about O.J. or his arraignment.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 03:17 PM

I'm having a quiet phase, just thought you should know. Hope your open day goes well Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Sep 07 - 02:49 PM

They need to get their priorities straight. The legal troubles of an ex-(American)football star should get the spotlight (unless Brittney has gained a pound or two, I mean really, that trumps all (except if Paris Hilton is mad at Nicole again, that is surely tops (unless Lindsay Lohan is back in rehab, I mean, America needs to know these things))).

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 07 - 02:38 PM

I don't see anything about OJ Simpson on Al-Jazeera.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 19 Sep 07 - 09:32 AM

Ah, my bad.

The upcoming arraignment for O.J. ssems to be the most important thing in the entire world for today. I watch CBS morning news (beacuse on that channel I know what time the local weather comes on, don't have cable) and that was the lead story today. At least I think the arraignment is today, not yesterday. I wasn't really paying attention.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 07 - 09:59 PM

That was his friend who was the driver in the low-speed chase.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 18 Sep 07 - 10:06 AM

Focus? I thought he drove a Bronco.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 07 - 09:13 AM

See? It's all about focus.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 12:12 PM

"Just think of O.J. out there on the golf course... "

No, he's sitting in a Las Vegas jail cell. No more golf for a bit. He is facing something like 30 years for armed robbery. Too weird.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 10:02 AM

My thoughts exactly.

Just think of O.J. out there on the golf course...

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 09:05 AM

And boobytraps in the roughs. Nothing like having a punji stick piercing your foot during your backswing or trying to figure out how to hit your ball off the detonator of the ol' fougasse installation to sharpen your game.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 10:50 PM

That is the best idea yet! Bravo, my good sir!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 09:26 PM

Don't be absurd, LH. I think that dual usage demands something that will benefit humanity.

How about golf courses doubling as mine fields? Not only would it add a certain je ne sais quoi to the game, but golfers would also be able to work clearing mines in places where they have way, way, too many.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 11:33 AM

All excellent ideas that need further investigation, Rap. Why not a dual use as golf course/artillery range? That would really introduce an element of excitement to the game that I feel it is lacking at present, and it would provide a lot of cool sand traps and hazards too.

With such a dual use of golf ranges Nicole Brown/Simpson might still be alive today.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 09:08 AM

Wimp ideas, sirrah!

Bury a gas cylinder nearby, and run a hose to the bottom of the hole. Put in a trip-switch so that when a golf ball falls into the hole it is promptly returned on a jet of flame.

Or simply apply dual use: use golf courses as cemeteries and vice-versa. To have the ball land in the midst of a covey of mourners or fall into an open grave would give a whole new meaning to "play it where it lies." And sand traps wouldn't need sand anymore, either....

Or, still applying dual use, golf courses could also be used as archery or rifle ranges. It would give new meaning to "shooting some golf."

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Sep 07 - 11:10 PM

I've always thought it would be fun to put little, pressure-sensitive mini-landmines down all the holes on the golf course, then just sit back with a cool drink and watch...

Then too, putting a spring-operated thingie in there that instantly tosses the ball back out would be funny, wouldn't it?

Even funnier might be to put a pipe down there that delivers the golf ball into an inacessible underground chamber when the little trapdoor at the bottom of the hole opens, which happens right after the ball enters the hole. The trapdoor then closes. The puzzled golfer will find only an empty hole when he goes to retrieve his golf ball.

I have a friend who hates golf so much that he launches into a tirade about it whenever he sees a golf course or hears mention of one. He figures they are destroying natural habitat, and he's right about that, but he's not improving things any by having a fit about it all the time...he's just blowing off steam. ;-) If he had some real initiative, he would set about committing some of the acts of sabotage that I suggested earlier in this post.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 07 - 09:58 PM

Well, I tried. I took some horse pee, figuring that was as close as I could get to the stuff "Shane" drinks, and used it to brew up some coffee (I used Starbucks, since I didn't think he drank anything decent).

My wife made me brew it outdoors, which I did. The fumes killed an entire flight of Canada geese, which fell randomly around the golf course out back of the house. Three mature trees, four fairways, and three greens also curled up and died.

But it didn't attract "Shane" and now I have to find a way to dispose of it. I think I'll wait until much later, sneak onto the golf course, and pour it into the holes in each green.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Sep 07 - 11:17 PM

Not a bad idea.