BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:42 PM

You couldnt kick an ELEHPANT'S ass, you flippin' BOLTHOLE!

Yeah, they got legal dope and legal hookers and good beer here. If I had some mony I might NOT come back, you know? But all my money's in Blind River and if you, you flippin' FAKE, try to take it I'll KILL you! That Don had better not have spent any of it, either! I just ask him to take care of it for me, you know? I just now remebered having Don take care of my money.

I'm coming back to Blind River and fix YOU, you flippin' fake impotser bolthoel! Then I'm going to get my money from Don and come back here.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:33 PM

You flippin' LESS-on! I AM SHANE! Yer the, like, flippin' imposter, eh? I dare you to flippin' come to Blind River! I will be waitin' and I will kick yer flippin' ass across town, motherflipper!!!

Hey. Did you say they got legal dope in Amsterdam? Holy flip. And lotsa hookers too? Are they legal too?

Geez.

And the beer is good, eh?

So whaddya want to come here for anyways, bolthole? Sounds to me like yer in the right flippin' place alreddy!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:21 PM

What the flip are you saiyng, you flippin' impsotor! Like, I'm SHANE MCBRIDE and my flippin' bother Don is gonnin' to have to pick me up at the ariport in Monrteal or I'll have to hitch bak to Blind River! When I get there I'm gonna find yuo and like rip yor off yur shortcake, ya know? And yuo know whtelse I foudn out? They got these, like, cafes where you can get, like, WASTED and its LEGAL! And its good stuff, to! And theres a whole part of Ammrstdam that's got, like, chicks that are alwys ready for a roll, you know, in the hey, only you got to pay them. This town is something else, you know?

--Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 05:55 PM

What the FLIP!!! The flippin' idiot who, like, stole my flippin' idenity is finally talkin' sesne. But he still thinks he is me. That is so flipped. I am gettin' confused myself, eh? Look, if that fliphead thinks Don is gonna drive to flippin' Motnreal for him he is NUTS!!! I mean totally 110% flippin' GONE! REady for the flippin' loony bin, know'm sayin? A few short of a flippin' 6 pack. I hope he realizes this and don't waste no more of my valyuble time, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 02:19 PM

Exactly, one of my favourite Python sketches. Now we've got one of our own! Though, the way things are looking, it's unlikely that I'll be around to address him as Two Shanes. Never mind, it was good while it lasted. Sniff

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLjS3gzHetA

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 02:09 PM

Sort of like Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 02:08 PM

I actually thought ex-Brother Crispin sounded more like Shane than the Shane who has been Shane. Oh, for the light to shine once again and remove this fog of uncertainty. Will day never come?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 02:06 PM

Whatever happens Shane will always be 'Two Shanes' McBride from now on in my eyes.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 02:02 PM

Now there are two Shanes that both sound like Shane. Just when I suspected Brother Crispin to be the imposter he comes out with this. Now I'm more confused than ever. Will someone please explain what's going on here? In fact, if the imposter's not exposed by midnight on Sunday I'm flippin well quiting this thread forever, never to return, once and for all.

The clock's ticking.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 01:40 PM

Shanes friends seem to be sparing no expense awaiting his return.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 01:17 PM

Yeah, I guess his friends are gathering to welcome him back.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 12:08 PM

better get home quick Shane!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 12:02 PM

Unbee-flippin'-LEEV-able!

Well, here are some of Shane's buddies, waiting back in Blind River for his return, eh?

Pals of Shane McBride

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 11:41 AM

I want one of those hats.

So Shane (if Shane you be), when you get back to Blind River do you have to go back to picking up the garbage?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:11 AM

Shane spotted in the House of Orange?
- looks like he found one of those little cafés too!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST, GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 08:57 AM

CAn you belive it? The flippin' monks thrdW me out! They didn't Lik it wehn I hlped myself to some fo the flippin' alter wne and smoked some of the weed thy gro for what teh say isrope! Flippin' abbott gave me some jeans and a tshirt and put me on a airplne and right now I'm in Amsterflippindam! I got two flippin' DAYS to wait for the flite to flippin' Monreal and I dont know how i'm going to get back to flippin' Blind River from there unless Don piciks me upin in his flippin' truck! All the people here talk flippin' dutch or somethin, too.

This SUCKS. I got better treatment when I get out of gail. Only good thing in this flippin' place is the beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 03:28 PM

Question only to be answered by the Shanes. What does fencing mean to you? Brother Crispin to answer first please.

This will sort out the imposter from the genuine article KB, never fear. We'll soon be able to sleep at night again.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 03:22 PM

"Do you know which is the faux-Shane KB?"

Sometimes I do then again, I think I don't.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 03:10 PM

(answer)

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 03:09 PM

Question only to be answered by the Shanes. What does fencing mean to you? Brother Crispin to first please.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 02:54 PM

Do you know which is the faux-Shane KB? I can't work it out, they're both so convincing. Surely there must be a question we could ask that only the real Shane would be able to answer?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 02:43 PM

Rapaire certainly seems to have Shane back on his heels. Of course Shane was kind of reeling from defending his honor against faux-Shane so maybe it wasn't a fair fight, or was it?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 02:36 PM

The way things are going Rapaire is going to be the next Poster of the Year. He's unstoppable. I've already moved my attention to the 2008 award. This post is just for practise.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 09:35 AM

This picture? Or do you mean this one? Or maybe this one?

Now you have THREE pictures you can have them use! Or you can!

As for the Oilers, they're a pretty decent team. Lots better than the 'Leafs. I mean, the Oilers actually win games.

Oh yeah...I've been to Toronto too. And Halifax, Vancouver, Beaver Creek, Whitehorse, Quebec, Springhill, Ottawa, and lots of other places. And I've seen both the Sunken Road and the Natchez Trace. Nice places.

Your friend,
Rapaire

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 01:32 AM

You flippin' talk like I never been outa this town, Rapaire. That majerly ticks me off, man! I been to Toronto, eh? I been to Sudbury too. And Wawa. Wawa totally sucks. Don't go there. I have seen a lot of places and I been to some places that not everyone has been to, know'm sayin'? You ever hear of "Seldom Seen Road"? I've SEEN it. I know my flippin' way around. If I decide to find you, man, you are in deep shit. Real deep. If I was you I would not come to Edmonton. You are not welcome anywheres in Canada. I am gonna write to Don Cherry and tell him what you been doin' to me and he will tell the Oilers to be lookin' fer YOU. I got yer flippin' picture right here that you posted once, so they will know you when they see you.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 09:43 PM

"Shane" -- when WILL you learn that being able to find something on a map and actually going there are different things? But if you wish to visit, be assured that we will provide you with a warm welcome in Idaho.

Oh, yes. "Shane," I'll be in Edmonton in August, if you'd like to come out.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 09:06 PM

I am not talkin' to YOU you flippin' corkpuller!!!!!!!!!!! I'm talkin' to the omposter, Crispin Faicre or whatever the flip he clals himself. If you do't n flfipping' get outta my face NOW I am gonna take serrious folippin' action! I know how to find Idaho on the map. I am not stupid, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 08:37 PM

Hey, you impostor! Shape up! Stop sniveling. You brought this on yourself by impersonating Shane McBride.

Madagascar is 8,940 miles or 14,388 km. from Toronto, okay? That's very far away. It's on the other side of Africa.

Which you probably knew before you started this impersonation, this identity theft. You probably thought, "Hey, that dude is gonna be way far away and I'll never get caught!"

Well, as Brother Crispin Fiacre, who used to be the REAL Shane McBride, would probably say, "Your sins have found you out."

Now assume your REAL identity. What was it? Percival Bolthole? Abner Tetemerde? C'mon, buck up and be whatever sort of man you can be, even if it's not much of one.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 05:34 PM

Holy flip. This is startin' to turn my stommick. I think I am gonna throw up right on the keyboard. I'm not jokin', eh? It's a flippin' nightmare.

Forget about me comin' after you for impersonating me, man. I wouldn't flippin' go within 100 flippin' miles of someone like you! I might catch what you got. Is Madagascar far FAR away? I flippin' HOPE so!

Please just GO AWAY forever. I am beggin' you. I'm down on my knees here and I am pleadin' with you. I can't take no more.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 05:08 PM

Just in case anyone wants to visit Brother Crispin.

DIRECTORY OF OCSO MONASTERIES- MALE BRANCH GENERALATE
ANNEX HOUSES & PRE-FOUNDATIONS
OTHER CISTERCIAN OBSERVANCES


75 - MAROMBY

Monastera Masina Maria
Maromby B.P. 1092
301 Fianarantsoa
MADAGASCAR
Tel: [261] (2075) 51706
Fax: [261] (2075) 519 35
Superior: Dom Jean Chrysostome Randriamahazosoa

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Brother Crispin Fiacre, OCSO
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 12:13 PM

Dear Friends,

My abbot has graciously permitted me time on the Abbey's computer today, the Feast of St. Ludan, because of the Saint's special relationship to our order. So, Rapaire, I hope that your birthday was blessed, happy, and full of joy.

Madagascar is far different from Blind River, Ontario. Of course, I spend all of my time in the Abbey where I am copying old manuscripts. This might seem boring but it is done for the greater glory of God. Being the Least of the brethren here I am also responsible for cleaning the pig sties, and I sing hymns to myself while I do it.

I pray every moment for each of you and especially for the person posing as Shane McBride.

May God bless and keep you all,
Br. Crispin Fiacre, OCSO

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 07:35 PM

Aw, Shane (or whoever you are). Thanks for the kind thoughts. I must have misphrased my note -- I meant the REAL Shane, the one who is in the monastery.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 03:25 PM

Dear Shane,

Today is my birthday. So far my birthday thread has had a number of people posting, wishing me "Happy Birthday." But you haven't posted. Don't you want to wish me a "Happy Birthday"? I'd wish YOU one if I knew when your birthday was.

Your friend,
Rapaire

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 02:52 PM

Heh! He has a grotty old sweatshirt with an arrow pointing down. It bears the legend: "FREE SEX! (males need not apply)" He has worn it a lot, but so far without much of the anticipated result.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 01:45 PM

Shouldn't the arrow point down?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 01:42 PM

No. I mean the one that says "I'm with the IDIOT" (with an arrow pointing to the right underneath the word IDIOT). He likes to wear that one a lot. He also has one that says "Go Leafs Go!"

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 01:38 PM

You mean the baseball cap he snatched off the head of poor Widow Wilson after he tripped her, broke her cane, trod on the loaf of stale bread that was to be her week's food, and then claimed that it was his "Daily Good Deed" because he left some pennies in her purse? THAT baseball cap?

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 11:40 AM

Jeezus! That is a picture worth framing. I notice, though, that he's not wearing the baseball cap. That's unusual. As such, the picture becomes even more rare and valuable. It must have been taken when they were doing a strip search of Shane at the OPP headquarters.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 07:45 AM

Posters permitting, a week on Tuesday is the general feeling, though the exact time is still debatable - I've always been in the 4.37am (US tme) camp.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: autolycus
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 06:00 AM

At the current rate,when will the target be reached.

   (Oddly,I haven't read thru the thread to see if this has been answered even lately. Got enough on my plate.)






       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Peace
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 11:08 PM

But, he has such a winning smile.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 10:59 PM

I have found the most wonderful picture of Shane McBride. Of course, it can't possibly bring out all of his finer points or do him justice. No mere photograph can do that!

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 06:28 PM

I hate you, man. You will get yers some day. Mark my flippin' words!

So where the flip IS everybody today?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 09:25 PM

Yeah. And I'd bite it off before you could.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 08:38 PM

You are a sad flippin' case, man. Sad. If you was my dog I know what I would do, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 06:41 PM

...O! do not wish one more:        
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,        
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,        
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,        
And crowns for convoy put into his purse:        
We would not die in that man's company        
That fears his fellowship to die with us.        
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian:        
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,        
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,        
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.        
He that shall live this day, and see old age,        
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,        
And say, 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian:'        
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,        
And say, 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.'

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 04:29 PM

1300

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 04:28 PM

ok folks - just weighing in as usual

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:52 PM

Forgot about that Rapaire, he is actually quite the versatile Saint.

Here is the largest list I could find: barrenness; box makers; cab drivers; fistula; florists; gardeners; haemorrhoids; hosiers; pewterers; piles; taxi drivers; sterility; syphilis; tile makers; venereal disease.

I'm guessing the venereal disease angle is what really appealed to Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Will this thread reach 85 billion posts?
From: IWTATBM
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:48 PM

Seems I've a lot to learn on the aggression front and I've only myself to blame. I'm easily led you see. Next time I won't fall into Rapaire's snare quite so easily. On my next retreat to the 5000 thread I might seek advice about this one.