BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom

Subject: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 22 Jul 06 - 08:58 PM

[I was going through some old files and came across this. I wrote this about 6 years ago or more. I don't know if I ever posted it here but now is as good a time as any, I suppose.]

Religion has, over the centuries, fallen victim to a most vile conspiracy. The removal of the three most important aspects of Gnostic learning. Listen carefully, for you shall receive the innermost secrets of the Mysteries this day.

Religion has three heroes or foils, depending upon how one looks at it. Oh, yes, some may scoff at the notion that Moe, Larry and Curly (or Shemp) are at the innermost Mysteries of the Gnosis, but read on and thou shalt scoff no longer—you imbeciles!

Not only is Moe the archetype of the Hebrew God El Shaddai as I revealed in my last post, but the very concept of the Trinity was derived from them. Everything that goes on in the Bible is so doggone stooge-like that it frightens the uninitiated.

Take the story of Jesus. The day he is born, who shows up to proclaim him King of the Jews? The Three Wise Men who, in the original Mystery languages, are more popularly known as the Three Wise Guys. The original story goes thusly:

***And they did come, Melchior leading Gaspar by his hair and Balthazar by his nostril, bearing gifts which they deposited before the child dropping them heavily upon Melchior's foot.

Melchior did bellow sorely and dance about in pain whereupon the other two did join him in merrymaking. Melchior smote them upon their bellies and they bent over and Melchior smote them upon their foreheads.

All present did pay homage to the King except Balthazar who did set his eyes upon a fair damsel in the crowd and approacheth her saying, "Hiya toots, ya come here often? Ya know, my mother wasn't a virgin til she had me. She swore off sex! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!"

Melchior did notice Balthazar's indiscretion and admonished him saying, "Hey puddinhead, pay homage to the King of the Jews."

Balthazar did wave his arm dismissively in Melchior's direction and turneth unto Gaspar saying, "I won't do it! He don't pay my salary. It's a guy with a beard…nyah-ahh-ahhh" whereupon Balthazar did findeth Melchior standing before him and Melchior was wroth.

"I said pay homage," saith Melchior.

Balthazar did shrug saying, "Homage should I pay? Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!"

Whereupon Melchior smote Balthazar upon his belly and Balthazar bent over and Melchior smote him upon his forehead.

"Hey, hey," saith Gaspar unto Melchior, "leave him alone!"
Whereupon Melchior didst boweth to Gaspar saying, "Oh, yes, your majesty!" And then Melchior did smite Gaspar's nose and a loud honking sound did filleth all the stable roundabout.***

The Gospel stories are greatly jumbled and often the roles switch about without rhyme or reason. Hence, during Christ's sermon on the mount, we now find Moe as Jesus while Larry and Curly are Peter and John respectively:

***And Jesus spake unto the assembled saying, "And when someone conks ya on the kisser like so…" and he turned and smote Peter upon his cheek, "turn your coconut and let him conk ya again" whereupon Jesus turned and smote John upon his cheek.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" exclaimeth John. "What do I get out of it?"

Jesus glareth at him and saith unto him, "You get to dot his eyes!"

"Ohhh!" John cackleth saying, "In that case I'll take it!"

"You got it," saith Jesus and he poketh John in his eyes with his fingers and John howleth in pain mightily.***

Yet in the Garden of Gethsemane, Peter is now Moe, James is Larry and John is Curly. Jesus is now the Vernon Dent figure (Vernon Dent appeared in many Stooge shorts as the straight man always on the wrong end of Stooge machinations). Jesus prays earnestly in the garden but returns to his companions finding Peter, James and John (in typical stoogely fashion) snoring away.

At the crucifixion, we find once again Moe as Jesus but now Larry and Curly are the two malefactors. The text goes as follows:

***And they were crucified in the sixth hour. As the nails were pounded through [Curly's] hands he did loudly exclaim, "Owowowowowowowowowowowowowow! Woo woo woo woo!"

And Jesus reassureth him saying, "Quiet, you gobbling turkey!"

And [Larry] didst laugh and saith, "Heh heh heh, he called him a gobbling turkey—heh heh heh!"

Whereupon Jesus smote [Larry] upon his face saying, "Shaddap, you bag of giblets!" and tore out a patch of [Larry's] hair and handeth it unto him saying, "Whatsa matta witchu?"

And they were nailed in place before the crowd. "Look!" exclaimed the crowd to Jesus, "if you're so holy come down from the cross!"

Whereupon Jesus did saith unto them, "I'll moider ya!"

In the ninth hour, Jesus crieth out in his travails, "Lord oh lord, why hast thou forsaken me?"

And [Curly] didst reply, "Maybe His network's down! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!" and [Larry] didst laugh mightily.

Jesus was wroth and exclaimeth, "If I wasn't nailed to this cross, you boid-brains, I'd hitcha over the head with it!"***

Going to the Old Testament, we find the story of the Flood, a typical Stooge venture. In the Gnosis, Moe (El Shaddai or Moses) hooks up the electrical system of the planet to give light. Unbeknownst to him, Curly and Larry have run the plumbing through the electrical conduits. When Moses flips the switch, water spews out everywhere, covering the planet. Moses yells, "Why you nitwits! I'll annihilate ya!" The people of earth overhear God and think He is talking to them.

From the microcosmical point of view, the Stooges are the sons of Noah (who is, again, the Vernon Dent figure). Japhet is Moe, Ham is Larry and Shem is a simple corruption of Shemp (Shemp reappears later on as Samuel). The three sons spend too much time sleeping and Noah is forced to tend his fields by himself. The exhausted Noah comes in from the fields and tells Ham to fetch him yonder water jug.

Unbeknownst to Noah, his sons had filled it the night before with very potent homemade wine that bubbles and emits a thick mist that Shem had made with two-month-old grapefruit juice and battery acid from a '39 Ford and then mixed them together in an old boot.

"Wait, pa!" Ham exclaims. "You don't wanna drink that stuff!"

But Noah interrupts him saying, "Nonsense! Thou hast heard me. Fetch me yon jug that I might taketh a swig!"

"Yeah, but pa…" says Ham.

"Silence and giveth unto me the jug of water," Noah says to Ham, "that I may quencheth my mighty thirst!"

Ham protests saying, "Yeah but pa, ya gotta listen to me…"
But Noah licks his lips with great anticipation and heedlessly slugs down the contents of the jug with a loud "glug glug glug" sound. The Gnosis reads:

***Noah turneth unto Ham with wide eyes and a smoke did pour forth from his mouth. A loud whistling sound cameth from the insides of Noah followed by a loud splash from his belly and Noah did moan and pass out.

Ham attempteth to grab Noah and prevent him from falling but managed only to grippeth Noah's robe. The robe toreth off in Ham's hands and Noah did slump to the ground in his red flannel underwear.

Ham did panicketh and ran off to tell Japhet and Shem without. Upon hearing Ham's story, Japhet saith unto him, "Nice goin, you turnip-head! He's gonna make us finish tendin' the fields now!" and he did smite Ham mightily upon the cheek. "Come on, you termites," saith Japhet to his brethren, "we'd better go cover him up!"

Shem didst laugh loudly and saith unto them, "Pops didn't Noah when to quit drinkin! Haw! Haw! Haw!" Ham did also join his brother in merriment.

Japhet saith unto his brethren, "Why, yes, yes, so he did, so he did…" whereupon he smote them both across the cheek at once, knocketh their heads together and bade them to immediately fulfill as he had commanded lest he taketh away their foremost throat parts.***

In the 3rd Degree of Freemasonry, the candidate undergoing initiation is ritually "killed" and then reborn by acting out a Mystery play called "The Killing of Hiram Abiff".

Hiram is the Master Builder of Solomon's Temple. He has many craftsmen working under him. One day, three craftsmen decide to extort from Hiram the Master's Word. Again, Hiram is the Vernon Dent figure and the three errant craftsmen are called (in typical stoogely fashion) The Three Ruffians.

As Hiram is leaving the unfinished Temple at the close of the workday, he is accosted by the Three Ruffians known as Jubela (Shemp), Jubelo (Larry) and Jubelum (Moe). In typical stoogely fashion, they demand the Master's Word and threaten him with all manner of violence should he refuse. "Why you three vagrants sure have your nerve!" says Hiram and slaps them all across the face with one swipe of his arm.

Jubela steps forward and says, "Oh, a tough guy, eh?" and proceeds to engage in excessive footwork as he dances about Hiram. "How does this grab ya?" Jubela asks Hiram as he dances about and weaves. "I'll shoot one past ya just like that," says Jubela as he jabs the air with his fist, "and I'll throw one at ya like that. Oh, too fast for ya, eh?" he says to Hiram who punches Jubela in the mouth and sends him sprawling.

Jubelum kicks Hiram in the backside and Hiram proceeds to throttle him. Jubelo picks up a piece of pipe and loudly clangs Hiram on the head. Hiram falls to the ground a corpse. "Nyah!" says Jubelum after examining Hiram, "He's dead, fellas! We'd better scram!"

Jubelo says, "Hey, wait a minute, let's get rid of the evidence first. That'll give us a head start."

"Good thinkin, kid," says Jubelum, "Now you're usin a bit o' your brain!" Then he looks at Jubela and says, "Why didn't you think o' that?" and lands one.

The Three Ruffians bury Hiram's body with much the same result as the episode where they attempt to bury a mannequin they mistook for a dead body. They flee the graveyard in terror, leaving behind their shoes, which they have literally jumped out of in fright.

In another version, it is Curly who is Jubela. After Solomon brings them back to the Temple to be executed for the murder, Jubela drops to his knees before Solomon and says, "Woo woo woo woo! Execution? Nyah-ah-ahh! Oh no! Anything but that kingy ol' kid 'ol kid 'ol kid! I'm too young to die and too good-lookin—well, I'm too young! This ain't fair. It's sabatoogee, I tell ya! Have a heart, kingy ol' kid! Your mother and my mother are both mothers!"

However, our more family-value oriented fundamentalist friends generally prefer the Shemp version: "Please, your highness, don't execute me. I got six wives and two kids. I got a little golden-haired baby sister and she's only this high and I have little baby brother whose only this high..."

Also in the prose Edda of Norse mythology, we find Thor as Moe, Heimdall as Larry and Loki as Curly. Typical of Curly, Loki loses Thor's hammer—a phallic symbol related to the loss of Osiris's penis during battle with Set. The Twilight of the Gods has already set upon them and Ragnarok—the final battle of heaven and earth—is about to commence. There is not a more vivid and frightening eschatological sequence in all mythology. In the Gnosis, the story runs thusly:

***"Heimdall," saith Thor, "bloweth thine horn so that I may announce the approach of the Frost Giants. Hearest thou me?" And Thor smote the daydreaming Heimdall on the top of his head. "Blow, Porcupine!"

And Heimdall did blow a long dismal and discordant note. Thor saith unto Heimdall, "Hey, Harry James!"

And Heimdall did blush and reply, "Oh, I'm not that good!" wherepon Thor saith to him, "You're tellin me!" and snatcheth the horn from Heimdall's grasp and smote him upon the head with it.

"Just play me a short syllable, maestro, so that I can announce the Frost Giants! Go on!" And Heimdall did blow a short note.

Thor cleared his throat and prepared to address all the gods gathered in the Great Hall at Valhalla when Loki stepped up and saith unto the assembled, "And they're off! Lady's Man in the lead with Ticker-Tape followin close behind. Sweet Potater pulls ahead by a length. And it's Lady's Man, now it's Ticker-Tape, it's Lady's Man, no it's Ticker-Tape. Sweet Potater pulls up on the outside stretch…"

And Thor saith unto Loki, "Quiet, you overgrown lawn-jockey!" and he smote Loki upon the head with his hammer and a loud clanking sound was heard all throughout Asgard.

Loki moaneth in pain saying, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…look!" And they beheld Thor's hammer and saw that it was flat and deformed on the side which smiteth the hard skull of Loki. Loki didst laugh saying, "Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!"

Thor was wroth and saith unto Loki, "Why you iron-head! Now Odin's liable to make me pay for another hammer!" And he smote Loki upon the cheek saying, "You imbecile! What am I supposed to fight the Midgard Serpent with now?"

Loki didst shruggeth and say, "Well, he's just a big snake, ain't he?"

"Yeah, what about it?" saith Thor.

"Well just find a big mongoose and your problem's solved! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!" Heimdall didst join Loki in his merriment and Thor smote them both on the cheek at once and then he smote them upon their bellies and they did bend over and Thor smote them upon their foreheads.***

To make a long story short, in the true Gnosis of Ragnarok, heaven and earth come to an end in all-out no-holds-barred pie-fight.

But history has mangled Stooge presence in all religion and mythology far worse than Moe ever mangled Curly, Shemp and Larry put together. One gets the feeling that the Vernon Dent-like historians have gotten the last laugh. When Jesus is resurrected, look how the Bible has completely distorted what he told his stooges—er—apostles. "Go ye far and wide and spread the gospel unto all nations…" BUNK!! In the Gnosis, they all crowd around Jesus after his resurrection and so he simply elbows them in their bellies and tells them, "Spread out!" What a sad state of affairs to see these wonderful Gnostic messages being so inexcusably corrupted and distorted.

God is always attempting to improve us in much the same way that the Vernon Dent figure attempted to convert the Stooges (representing the Masonic rough ashlar) into gentlemen despite Larry's protestations that there hadn't been a gentleman in his family for fifty generations (see Genesis for an exhaustive genealogy). Perhaps upon being turned into gentlemen, the human race will finally heed Jesus/El Shaddai/Moe's message: "You lunkheads mind your P's and Q's!" A prerequisite for loving thy neighbor. Perhaps it is high time indeed for the human race to start remembering its Emily Post.

Yes, time and again we are confronted in the Gnosis with the image of three saps always with some scheme or gimmick up their sleeves. Always trying to get out of their fair share of work. They are us. They represent the lethargy, buffoonery and violence of unenlightened humanity and so everything they do fails miserably. In that slapstick comedy we call day-to-day living, these three Neanderthals raise their mugs and grimace so frightfully as to scare one another half to death. Whether humankind is destined to remain a pack of intelligent imbeciles remains to be seen. Perhaps a silk purse will eventually be made from a sow's ear after all. One thing is certain, however, when the end of heaven and earth arrives in Asgard, the halls of Valhalla will reverberate not to the sound of Heimdall's sour horn, but to the call of "Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: mack/misophist
Date: 22 Jul 06 - 11:01 PM

Where's the big secret here? I learned all this in Sunday School.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 02:34 AM

If you had any brains 282RA you would know that nobody can be arsed to read such long posts, it's just a waste of space.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 03:31 AM

Hahahahaha. For some strange reason, that struck me funny, Eric. I wonder if I would have debited it after reading parts of the first three para's had I been awake... 04:27 as I type... haven't even had my first sip of tea.

Hmmm... pretty sure I would have.

No offense meant there, 2.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 08:43 AM

Notice how it's always dumb fucking Limeys who can't read anything over 5 sentences. And they wonder why they've taken Canada's place as America's bitch these days. No offense meant there.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: *daylia*
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 09:55 AM

No offense meant there.

Right.

Uh-huh.

Hey, while we're at it how about "Notice how it's always stupid ugly stinkin' folk singers who can't read anything over 5 sentences. And they wonder why they've taken Mozart's place as Satan's dildo these days.

No offense meant there."

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 10:05 AM

LOL! Maybe we should start a no-offense-meant-there thread. Now THAT could be funny!

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: *daylia*
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 10:09 AM

PS - did writing that story increase or decrease your hostility toward other people's religious traditions and beliefs, 2?

Or was it unchanged?

Just curious ....

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 11:04 AM

Definitely increased. Once you realize who is behind it all, well, how can you continue to doubt? Just read this except from a little known writing found in the Nag Hammadi Library called "The First Treatise of Moses El Shaddai":

"Listen up, you lugs, I am the Lord your God. There's only one true religion, see? But you stoops went and made hundreds out of it and now the truth is lost. Why, I oughta crucify ya from end to end!

You lame-brain grovelers couldn't pray your way out of a wet paper bag! Now the earth is too crowded with youse nitwits and you're all tryin to squeeze through the door to heaven at once. There ain't room for all you imbeciles. I say "recede" but you dopes can't hear me cuz you're all runnin your mouths. That's when I have to send a savior down to tell all you dummies to spread out, see?

First there's your Jews. You ain't no special chosen, you lunkheads. Whatsamatta witchu? I tried to snap you out of it with plagues and famines and stupid commandments only an ignoramus would try to follow but it didn't do no good. You ain't nobody special, see? So quit makin war on everybody, you boid-brains! Where's your Emily Post?

And you fundamentalists dewheads with all your end-of-the-world stuff. Where'd all that come from? Listen, when I tell ya I'll annihilate ya, don't take it so literal. Now, quiet you lamebrains or I'll tear ya limb from limb!

And you materialists! Just because I don't flatten ya on the spot for all your numbskull antics don't mean there ain't no payback later, got it? You think you're gettin away with somethin? Remind me to kill you later.

I ain't doin nuthin for youse lugs! So stop prayin! You're wearin down my cell phone batteries. You gotta do it for yourselves, you termites! Now shaddap or I'll sock ya again!

I'll leave you numbskulls with the final words of the Buddha: "Decay is inherent in all component things, you ignoramuses, therefore work out your own salvation with diligence before I tear your tonsils out and wrap 'em around your neck for a bow-tie!" [End of text]

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 02:07 PM

Excellent reading!! The DaVinci Stooges revealed. I salute you 2. Obviously you share my own extraordinarily high intellect and curiosity regarding the real truth.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 02:20 PM

2... "... taken Canada's place as America's bitch these days."

Offense taken.

Read a history book. I'd copy and paste one for ya, but it would be a waste of space. Probably a waste of time as well. If you haven't read one yet, you're not likely to do so now.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 03:48 PM

>>I'd copy and paste one for ya, but it would be a waste of space.<<

It's only cyberspace so it don't count.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 05:13 PM

...and at the bottom of the page, where the True Truth is writ, it reads

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Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 05:25 PM

Why read all that crap when Monty Python did it first in Life of Brian?

Perhaps it is because us Limeys can't read more than 5 sentences that our comedies are sold all over the world while yours are restricted to limited interest web sites, 282?

Why can't you just accept that people are different to you? Your obvious intellect should enable you to grasp that simple fact. If so how about this one -

No one is better or worse than you.

I find it a little sad that you feel the need to win points over people you believe inferior but if it lightens your life that little bit feel free. After all you will never do anything of significance here.

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 06:07 PM

Dave, you guys on the other side of the pond have not been exposed to the three stooges. If you had, I'm pretty certain you would've read the thing and laughed out loud.

They were a sort of ancestor to your "Young Ones". Completely idiotic, site gags, explosions, and the dumbass human condition amplified. Many American men find them to be hilarious. Women mostly despise them and I have never understood why that is.

I'm sure if they had the technology, in the thirties and forties, for a gallon of snot to blow outta Larry's nose, they would have done it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Tootler
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 06:33 PM

As a "dumb fucking limey", I got through about three paras and thought "What a load of crap" and moved on.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Slag
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 07:46 PM

He that sitteth on high shall laugh, in derision.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 09:22 PM

>>Perhaps it is because us Limeys can't read more than 5 sentences that our comedies are sold all over the world while yours are restricted to limited interest web sites, 282?<<

At least Monty Python had a sense of humor which is more than can be said for most of you ignorant limeys. Maybe if you spoke English like real men instead prissy little gay boys you wouldn't feel so inferior. No offense.

>>As a "dumb fucking limey", I got through about three paras and thought "What a load of crap" and moved on.<<

Darest thou to doubt the writings of the Emir of Shmoe?? Why, you applehead, I'll tear your tonsils out before you can say Ticonderoga--if you can say Ticonderoga.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 09:52 PM

You know what other British comedy troupe was hilarious? Goodies. I loved those guys! Especially that one episode where Bill Oodie reveals he is a practictioner of a secret British martial art that consists of smashing people over the head with a black pudding.

He would have flashbacks to his days as a novice monk just like Caine in Kung-Fu. His sensei was bald with white eyes and he wore a flat cap like Andy Capp wore except the brim was super wide so it looked like a Far Eastern conicical bamboo hat--only it was plaid. He taught young Ooodie to wield the blood sausage with deadly force. That was an absolute fucking riot!

I just watched a bunch of "The Avengers" episodes yesterday on BBCA. I loved the Avengers when I was a kid. I took it so seriously then too. Emma Peel was the first woman who could kick butt that I really liked at an age before I started to like girls. I didn't like Batgirl, for example, but Mrs. Peel was cool. Everytime you saw Mrs. Peel in a tight fitting suit, you knew she was going to kick some ass--man or woman--didn't matter.

Now I meet people in their early 30s who have no idea who the Avengers were. How could you not grow up watching the Avengers? Or the Three Stooges? I was one of the lucky ones, I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 10:15 PM

you guys on the other side of the pond have not been exposed to the three stooges

Unfortunately we have. I can't stand them and fail to see how anyone could find them remotely funny. I can't see the relationship, Tweed but The Young Ones at least do have one thing in common - I can't stomach them either.

I liked the Goodies, 2. The martial art was Eky-thump. Wish I could see a re-run.

The Avengers (currently Dianna Rig/Emma Peel ones - by far the best) is being shown on BB4 on a Friday night. I'm watching them again.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 10:38 PM

Another Goodies I liked was the "Showdown at the OK tea rooms" or something like that. Where they kept mispronouncing "scones" as "scons." That killed me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 10:50 PM

I can't place that one but scones can be pronounced both ways in the UK. Scones is usually taken to be the posh way and scons (the way I pronounce it) the commoners way.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 11:07 PM

"Can't stand the stooges"
.....doesn't make sense. Next you'll tell me that you can't stand Mr. Bean ...or The Black Adder, or.. Faulty Towers, or...PETER SELLERS??? Jon, what the hell do you guys find humor in over there?

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 11:11 PM

I'm not sure if the British sense of humor is the best in the world or the worst. Fawlty Towers and Mr. Bean are a riot, though.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 11:14 PM

I managed to watch bits of Black Adder and find it funny in spite of Rowan Atkinson who, yes, I can't stand. I find Mr Bean unbearable.

I loved Fawlty Towers.

I Peter Sellers could be funny.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 23 Jul 06 - 11:24 PM

Of course, Tweed, Black Adder and Mr Bean are hugely popular over here.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 02:52 AM

The American idea of comedy seems to be the Three Stooges and The Simpsons, The Three Stooges were basically three imbeciles and if you like to laugh at mental retards that tells more about you than them. The Simpsons is a cartoon, so where does the live laughter come from ? watching the artists draw ?

eric

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 04:16 AM

At least Monty Python had a sense of humor which is more than can be said for most of you ignorant limeys. Maybe if you spoke English like real men instead prissy little gay boys you wouldn't feel so inferior. No offense.

Now then, where do we start with that...

Well, the fact that Monty Python was not realy a person is a good place I suppose. I wonder how a TV program can have a sense of humour? Oh yes, that reminds me, the people who went up to make the TV program were ignorant Limeys. Now, as to the language. You may have noticed it is called English. That is because it came from England. They way we speak, spell and pronounce it is the original. Anything else is a pale imitation. I am glad you mention the inferiority complex as well. That was the phrase I was trying to remember. For people who insist that they are right and everyone else is wrong. Something to do with insecurity if I remember rightly. Finaly, none taken. It would take far more than you could ever do;-)

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 08:27 AM

Well, I must say I felt guilty for reading the first few lines and dismissing the rest as crap. So I just read the lot. I no longer feel guilty but that was 5 minutes I will never get back...

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 09:36 AM

America eh, wanted the most famous brass band in the world [ Black Dyke Mills ] to change it's name because they thought it's own citizens would think it was a black lesbian band, America, wanted to cut the scene of Michael Caine cooking in the film ' The Ipcress File ' in case americans thoght he was gay, nuff said.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Tweed
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 02:01 PM

Dammit eric, it's common knowledge that Michael Caine is gay, I mean hellfire, the man was COOKING and talks with a British accent!!! He might as well have been wearing a black cocktail dress and heels!

Is there a laugh track on the Simpsons? I don't think they use one...

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 07:57 PM

>>Dammit eric, it's common knowledge that Michael Caine is gay, I mean hellfire, the man was COOKING and talks with a British accent!!! He might as well have been wearing a black cocktail dress and heels!<<

What he said! What he said!

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 08:05 PM

>>Well, the fact that Monty Python was not realy a person is a good place I suppose. I wonder how a TV program can have a sense of humour? Oh yes, that reminds me, the people who went up to make the TV program were ignorant Limeys. Now, as to the language. You may have noticed it is called English. That is because it came from England.<<

Oh yeah?? Maybe so. Maybe so. But American humor still achieved something you nation of ale-swilling prissy-talking cross-dressers could never hope to achieve even if your empire hadn't crumbled into dust because we kicked your ass in the 18th century--GREEN ACRES! Yeah, that's right, muthafucka! Read it and weep--Green Acres. All your best comedy actors put together ain't worth a drunk hungover Hank Kimball much less an Arnold Ziffle.

Monty Python Schmonty Python!

Greeeeeeen Acres is the place for me!
Faaaaaarm-livin is the life for me!
Land spreadin out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan just gimme that countryside!

Come on, all you proud fellow Americans, join in with me!

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 08:16 PM

Yeah, that's right, muthafucka! Read it and weep--Green Acres. All your best comedy actors put together ain't worth a drunk hungover Hank Kimball much less an Arnold Ziffle.

And in English that means???

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 08:21 PM

See that? You don't understand. You're not with the in-crowd. Well, you're British, what else needs be said.

Ah-lee-vah? Ah-lee-vah!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 08:33 PM

See that? You don't understand

A remarkable observation.

You're not with the in-crowd.

Who are they?

Well, you're British,

Another remarkable observation.

what else needs be said.

I was hoping for a translation into English

Ah-lee-vah? Ah-lee-vah!!!

No, I'm afraid that is not English

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: bobad
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 08:38 PM

Benny Hill - He da man!

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 12:33 AM

You know something else?

No other actor has ever been able imitate Hitler anywhere near as good as Moe.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 12:58 AM

Not true, 282RA...Charlie Chaplin did the ultimate Hitler imitation in "The Great Dictator". But Moe was pretty good too.

Your documentation for the Stooges is impressive. But where does Shatner come in?

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 03:48 AM

Getting there, 282 but still not quite made it:-)

That's the kind of excrement I have come to expect form you non-creative garbage. Sit there on your loathsome spotty backsides picking blackheads...

I wave my private parts at your aunty.

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 04:19 AM

Of course it's all our fault, we made such a cack handed job of teaching Americans to speak ENGLISH, you speak it like foreigners.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Tweed
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 06:29 AM

What,what?
I can't understand a word yore saying.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 07:38 AM

What you can't read the Queens English either ? I give up.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 07:47 AM

I believe Tweed was demonstrating his sense of humor, eric. It is the Amercan version our sense of humour. Unfortunately, it lost more than the letter "U" in translation.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Tweed
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 08:28 AM

Yaz, and that would be humour, Jon. ;~)

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 08:30 AM

It would indeed Tweed :-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 08:35 AM

It fact all of my little digs have not intended to be taken seriously, except for the fact that writing like the example I quoted from 2 can be incomprehensible to me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Tweed
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 08:53 AM

Haw!
Aslo, this being a Stooges thread, nothing contained in it could ever be taken seriously. I mean, other than the fact that we all talk like where we come from.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 10:14 AM

It is sort of like humour - but without the funny bit...

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 04:52 PM

>>Getting there, 282 but still not quite made it:-)

That's the kind of excrement I have come to expect form you non-creative garbage. Sit there on your loathsome spotty backsides picking blackheads...

I wave my private parts at your aunty.<<

What a strange person.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 06:32 PM

and Balthazar did shrug saying, "Homage should I pay? Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!" is normal?

Phew! Glad I am strange.

Go visit some folk clubs, 282. Not only will it help your social skills it may stop you writing complete bollocks.

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 08:01 PM

Perhaps you might follow your own advice.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 08:11 PM

If you two bozos wanna have this out mano-a-mano, I can reserve a piece of sidewalk in Chicago any time this week. Call me. I can maybe even sell a few tickets, but I ain't promisin' much.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 11:13 PM

I automatically get 75% of all receipts as stipulated in my contract as well as top billing and all mentions of my name MUST be followed by the phrase "The King of Plop."

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 04:52 AM

Perhaps you might follow your own advice.

Perhaps you would like to try a bit of original thought instead of using everyone elses? That aside you can find me any Monday here I am one of the mentioned residents, Dave Polshaw. On Thursdays you will find me teaching Tai Chi at a local community centre followed by the Open Mic night at St Lukes church hall in Salford. Every October, as you will see on our web page, we run a weekend festival. Every February we have a hiking/drinking/singing weekend. Odd days in between you can find me at any number of music sessions or folk clubs in the area.

Please tell us what your qualifications are to advise people to visit more folk clubs. Either that or crawl back under whatever stone you came from. I don't realy care which:-)

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 01:14 PM

>>Perhaps you would like to try a bit of original thought instead of using everyone elses?<<

Heh-heh! Jealous.

>>That aside you can find me any Monday here I am one of the mentioned residents, Dave Polshaw.<<

And we all know about Dave Polshaw.

>>On Thursdays you will find me teaching Tai Chi at a local community centre followed by the Open Mic night at St Lukes church hall in Salford.<<

But that's in some Limey part of the world and no one cares about that part. That's why your PM had to attach himself like a leech to George Bush in order to vicariously experience what it's like to lose an empire. At least we have one to lose.

As far as music goes, we Yanks do and always have kicked your sorry asses. Everything you got, you stole from us. Although you did take in our exiled rocknrollers--you deserve that much. But by that time, they had already crested. That's why Lennon moved here and even ol John Baldry moved to Canada.

>>Every October, as you will see on our web page, we run a weekend festival.<<

Capital! Smashing! Pip-pip-cheerio and all that good shit, eh what?

>>Every February we have a hiking/drinking/singing weekend.<<

People in our country do that too. They populate alleys all across every major American city. Occasionally, I'll slip one a buck.

>>Odd days in between you can find me at any number of music sessions or folk clubs in the area.<<

Methinks you have nothing but odd days, mate.

>>Please tell us what your qualifications are to advise people to visit more folk clubs. Either that or crawl back under whatever stone you came from. I don't realy care which:-)<<

Ah. I think you're replying to someone else. I never encouraged anyone to visit more folk clubs since I don't visit them myself. I'm not a folkie, mate. Wouldn't know anything about it. I go for 50s music--jump blues, rockabilly, doowop. I also like ragtime and early jass. Don't know of any folk artists. Well, Dylan, I've heard of him.

If you don't believe me, you can do a search in this forum for past threads on such people as Kid Ory, Gene Vincent, Scott Joplin, and the bawdy song (specifically Lucille Bogan's "Shave 'Em Dry"). I wrote and posted those years ago as AR282 and then I was gone a long, long time and when I came back I couldn't even remember my password so now I'm 282RA. That's the music I'm into, son, so if you're trying to out-folk me, you're wasting your time since I have little interest in anything commonly called folk.

Nice of you to care, though. Bye now.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 01:33 PM

Then why are you here?

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 03:49 PM

I said "You need to visit more folk clubs"

You replied "Perhaps you might follow your own advice."

Surely that is encouraging me to visit more folk clubs?

It makes a bit of a joke of your recent statement

I never encouraged anyone to visit more folk clubs

You are a blatant liar, and very poor one at that, who has nothing better to do than try to foist your exceptinaly lame version of philosophy on people who don't want to listen.

As to thanking me for caring. Think nothing of it. I like to be kind to all dumb animals. But if you think I care personaly for someone who does not even have the courage to use his own name I think you are very much mistaken.

Thanks for the laughs though:-)

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 04:29 PM

When I said follow your own advice, it was in relation to developing your social skills. And perahps you can develop a sense of humor as well. There's something wrong with people who don't have one and you don't have one. You're still mad because I kicked your ass in that thread about the nonhistoricity of Jesus. that's where all your antagonism started and if you think you're fooling anyone about that, you're--as usual--sadly mistaken.

As for using my real name online, nobody in their right mind should ever do that unless you're already famous. You are obviously unglued and without even the slightest bit of anything resembling a sense of humor. I have no idea who you are and I am not about to find out you live in my area and discover I am being stalked. Nice try but, no, you will not get my real name. Not now. Not ever.

But, as I said, look up those threads and learn how much more you don't know. Instead of being jealous of people who do their homework, try doing some yourself and then you might actually know what you're talking about enough to hold your own in an argument. Until then, you is owned, baby!

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 04:35 PM

>>Then why are you here?<<

Well, excuse me, I didn't realize you have to accept only one definition of folk before being allowed to post here.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 05:26 PM

So I was right then? A coward and liar afraid to give us any details of himself. Are you really that frightened? You needn't be you know, there are organisations that can help with your delusions. There are lots of people who know I am. I am not living in fear of being stalked. You too can live a full and happy life with the help of those around you.

Even I am happy to help. Carry on casting your feeble insults and attempts at intelectual argument. I will even encourage you if you like. It will help if you can at least act out your fantasies here rather than harming people in real life or even abusing yourself. Though I suspect you have had more than your fair share of the latter:-)

If it is that important to have people who do not know who are believe you have won something that does not matter in the least then please feel free.

Enjoy

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 05:38 PM

>>So I was right then? A coward and liar afraid to give us any details of himself. Are you really that frightened?<<

Why, watchu talkin 'bout, Willis? You're calling 99% of the people in here and in most other forums cowards and liars. Whatsamatta witchu? Can't win no popularity contest that way. Didn't yo mama teach no manners no how?

>>You needn't be you know, there are organisations that can help with your delusions. There are lots of people who know I am. I am not living in fear of being stalked. You too can live a full and happy life with the help of those around you.<<

I ain't know you from Adam or Sandler, son, and you don't strike me as righteous! Gonna has to gitcho kix from someone else's trix.

>>Even I am happy to help. Carry on casting your feeble insults and attempts at intelectual argument.<<

Uhh....yeah, right.

>>I will even encourage you if you like. It will help if you can at least act out your fantasies here rather than harming people in real life or even abusing yourself. Though I suspect you have had more than your fair share of the latter:-)<<

Hohoho! When you ain't got no sense of humor--don't try to be funny!

>>If it is that important to have people who do not know who are believe you have won something that does not matter in the least then please feel free.<<

????

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 10:41 PM

Looks like DtG needs a hug from the Great One (pbuh).

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Jul 06 - 04:05 AM

:D

Like I said. 282, you are getting there. You just need more practice. Try reading Pratchett or Bryson.

You don't need to fake a funny accent. On your Shatner thread you showed some signs of real humour. This one was absolute shite but that one was OK. Trouble is if anyone criticises you go into petulent child mode. Which is when you start getting treated like a petulent child.

And no, I don't call 99% of people cowards and liars. Only those who tell blatant lies and admit that they will not post their real name for fear of gertting stalked.

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 27 Jul 06 - 12:52 PM

Dave,

Really now, it's time to stop. You're really coming across as unglued. You've apparently mistaken me and everyone else here for someone who cares what you think. It's like you're swinging at me for no particular reason and beating yourself up in the process. If you don't like this thread just get off it. If you don't like me, don't respond to my posts. It's really that easy. I didn't address this or any thread to you and none of my threads are about you so why you feel the need to respond to them right off the bat with insults tells me you have some strange problem (yes, go back and look at the your first post on this thread, son, that was an insult and there was no reason for it).

I don't care if you like me or anything I write. Just ignore it if it bugs you. There isn't a person in this forum that would disagree--just ask anyone. If I'm a coward and blatant liar and all that--fine. I don't care what you think but, before you force people to draw some unsavory conclusions about you due to your weird behavior, I think you should stop this bizarre nonsense. Sound good, Willis?

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 27 Jul 06 - 12:56 PM

Oh, sorry, Dave. I confused eric the red's response with yours. His was an insult, yours was not. Nevertheless, you're taking this too far and it's getting pretty boring and weird.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 01:43 AM

I used to love the Stooges as a kid. As I got older, they lost some of their shine.

Their humour style grew out of a long tradition - The Commedia del Arte, in which the original 'slapstick' was much used - a thin piece of wood, with another thin piece hinged so that when it struck something it made a loud noise, and did not cause any great harm to the participants.

Funnily enough, 'Benny Hill' humour also grew out of the same traditions. "Boobs and Bums Humour" was a great hit back then - called "Low Comedy"...

Shakespeare loved to use it too to appeal to the 'pit' - see 'the porter scene' in MacBeth (and many others,including much of '12th Night') - you have to know how to 'read' slapstick when written down as just text to 'see' what the actors are doing... :-)

I have finally acquired some of their shorts on DVD, but only a few...



BTW Re: "I am glad you mention the inferiority complex as well." above...

What is really meant is 'superiority complex' - this is when people who think they are 'superior', are driven to keep on attempting to demonstrate their 'superiority' (most often usually existing only in their own mind) over others all the time.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 04:43 AM

Sorry for the delay, 282. Tai Chi and open mic on a Thursday remeber:-)

Firstly thanks for spotting your mistake and having the courage to apologise for it. As to me getting off this thread. I have no objection to that. As I said I think it was a poor bit of comedy anyway but I should not have said it was shite. It was your work and I had no right to criticise it in such a negative fasion. I apologise. I did try to apply constructive criticism later by adding that you were getting better and with practice it could be very good but I don't think you were in the mood to spot that.

OK? Lets address a couple of issues I have before I do leave though. You say you did not address the thread to me. But in response to Erics post you say Notice how it's always dumb fucking Limeys who can't read anything over 5 sentences. And they wonder why they've taken Canada's place as America's bitch these days. Well, I am sure you realise there are a lot of us 'Limeys' on the Mudcat. You will notice that I did not post at all until you made that remark. If you want to take a swing at us, fine. But you must expect that at least one or two will swing back. When I do take a swing back you then say it is 'weird stuff'? How so?

You say if I don't like the thread or you, get off it. Who says I don't like the thread or you? I enjoy debate for the sake of it. I will argue both sides, and often do, as a mental excercise. This thread has been great:-) And you? Well, when you are in a reasoning mood your arguments are both logical and well put. I may disagree but I enjoy them all the same. That person I do like. There does seem to be another side that I am not sure of but I can live with that. I am not sure what side will respond to this but hopefuly it will be the former.

If you are in one of your calmer stages there is one other thing you can do for me. Can you explain what you mean by 'my weird behaviour'. Please give me examples and what you think weird about them. Perhaps it is just a difference in language? If you don't want to do it on the thread, fine. PM me. I will respond to either. But don't expect me to just leave the thread because you do not like the things I say.

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 04:53 AM

Sorry - there was on elast thing after all.

Who the f"£$ is Willis?

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: *daylia*
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 10:39 AM

Never had any use for the 3 Stooges - not since I was about 3, anyway. They failed to hold my attention then, and they still don't make the grade. Funny, I've noticed that males appreciate them more than females -- same with the Simpsons, the Trailer Park Boys etc.

Overall, I give the Stooges a 3-B rating -- Banal, Boring and Braindead.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 05:50 PM

It has come to my attention 282RA, that you have been insulting England and British people in general in an absolutely disgusting manner on this thread. May I say that I think you are an utter prat, a moronic degenerate, and a complete fool. No wonder you still idolize the Three Stooges! You have clearly never developed beyond the mentality of a pre-schooler, so I'm sure they seem hysterically funny to you. Why don't you go out right now and buy all the Three Stooges videos you can find and watch them until your single, lonely, barely functioning brain cell goes into meltdown and runs out one of your nostrils?

* PR

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 06:23 PM

>>I used to love the Stooges as a kid. As I got older, they lost some of their shine.<<

I thought Shemp did a great job of filling in for Curly--Shemp was, after all, the original 3rd stooge. Shamp was hi sown mand and had his own routine and was freaking hilarious in his own right. But after that, they were just groping around tryng to find a fat guy who looked like Curly. It wasn't the same. They did try to get Mousey Garner but he was under contract and his boss wouldn't let him go. That might have prolonged the Stooges' life but it was one of those what if kind of things.

But the Curly-Shemp days were great.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 06:27 PM

>>It has come to my attention 282RA, that you have been insulting England and British people in general in an absolutely disgusting manner on this thread. May I say that I think you are an utter prat, a moronic degenerate, and a complete fool. No wonder you still idolize the Three Stooges! You have clearly never developed beyond the mentality of a pre-schooler, so I'm sure they seem hysterically funny to you. Why don't you go out right now and buy all the Three Stooges videos you can find and watch them until your single, lonely, barely functioning brain cell goes into meltdown and runs out one of your nostrils?<<

While I'm doing that, why don't you grow up, you biscuit-eating tea-sucking pale imitator of American superiority?

Just insult Americans back if it bothers you that much. Virtually any insult you have for Americans is likely to be correct and it wouldn't bother me a bit because I could care less what you or anyone else thinks. So why don't you assholes across the ocean quit taking yourselves so seriously? You ain't shit, you lick Bush's balls, you suck and you know it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 06:37 PM

>>Sorry - there was on elast thing after all.

Who the f"£$ is Willis? <<

That was from an American show called "Different Strokes" which starred Gary Coleman. IT WAS TERRIBLE!!! An embarrassment to American television (not that that is hard to achieve these days). One of those "sit-coms" that were so bad that people actually found this so-called "reality tv" entertaining. Reality tv is like that thread of the fat porker Christian woman spazzing out screaming about being a "Christian warrior" and all that. Horrible.

One of the reasons I started watching Monty Python and Goodies in the 70s was because American TV starting going down the shitter around then. It's pretty much terminal now. Rotten. Can't stand Survivor, Bachelor, Fear Factor, Apprentice, all that garbage. STOOPID!    Just like American music these days. There was a time when we were top of the top but now we suck. We just plain suck.

Then again, look who we elect as a president and put Christian idiots in charge of Congress. I don't know how bad it is in Britain but you can't be doing any worse. We've lost our edge. We're just plain embarrassing now. We're not entertaining or funny anymore--even in a bad way.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 08:19 PM

I am delighted, 282RA, that you have chosen to respond and hang yourself with your own filthy tongue. Lovely! Give us some more examples of your degeneracy, please. It is soooo entertaining...much more so than that pathetic show, "The Three Stooges".

Can you do pratfalls and make sounds like "woo woo woo"? I wager you can. Yes, I suspect that you are capable of that, if nothing else. After all, you are a prat, and that's really all that's required, isn't it?

What a shame that upon Curly's untimely (or was it timely?) demise, you could not have taken over his role, 282RA. That would have been a sight to see. I would speculate that you could have lowered the humour on the show by at least a notch or two, and have become a legend in the annals of stupid American comedy.

Insult Americans? Ha! I haven't even gotten around to that yet. But, really...they're just too easy, aren't they?

*PR

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 08:32 PM

>>Can you do pratfalls and make sounds like "woo woo woo"? I wager you can.<<

If I do say so myself (and I do), I do a superb Curly.

>>After all, you are a prat, and that's really all that's required, isn't it?<<

I reckon.

>>What a shame that upon Curly's untimely (or was it timely?) demise, you could not have taken over his role, 282RA. That would have been a sight to see. I would speculate that you could have lowered the humour on the show by at least a notch or two, and have become a legend in the annals of stupid American comedy.<<

Yeah (sigh), I have daydreamed about that a two or time.

>>Insult Americans? Ha! I haven't even gotten around to that yet. But, really...they're just too easy, aren't they?<<

That's just it. Americans are fools and idiots with no humor or class anymore. Dense, slow, obtuse, jerk-offs who don't care how they act in front of the rest of the world and they act unbelievably idiotic and selfish and think it's a virtue. There was a time when the rest of the world wanted to be like us--now they're only too glad they're not and I can't say as I blame them. But if your PM had had the brains and balls to insult our fucking idiot retarded chimp of a president, you Brits wouldn't kissing Dubya's stupid ass right now and hating every minute of it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 11:07 PM

Been collecting DVDs of old cartoons, on one of them were a couple of '3 Stooges' from about the 1960s - animated toons sandwiched between live action of 3 elderly guys trying their best to still earn a living.

Don't mind their madness occassionally -if I view it in the light of the old Commedia del Arte School. Interesting to compare them with the Marx Bros...

Mel Gibson, a definite fan, apparently did a show on their historical and cultural origins - it must have been a made for TV thing -we haven't seen it out here in Oz yet, anybody got any pointers?

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 29 Jul 06 - 01:52 AM

I'm beginning to think there's hope for you after all, 282RA. If it's any comfort to you, I agree wholeheartedly with your opinion of both George Bush and Tony Blair and their political..."relationship", even if I find your language on the matter a bit tasteless.

Oh, and your assessment of Americans is spot on.

I think they make a very sorry successor to the British Empire, all things considered.

* PR

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Jul 06 - 05:15 AM

Errrr, I am allowed back on the thread now then? ;-)

Like Penelope said, and like I kept saying before, there are some grand bits of humour in your posts, 282. Keep them up and we may yet make you a honourary cross-dressing, tea-swilling, biscuit-munching Brit:-)

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 29 Jul 06 - 09:44 AM

>>Mel Gibson, a definite fan, apparently did a show on their historical and cultural origins - it must have been a made for TV thing -we haven't seen it out here in Oz yet, anybody got any pointers?<<

Yeah, I'm watching them on Spike TV right now. Their cultural origins I think would be the infantile low brow Punch & Judy that has been around in Europe at least since medieval times. Now Jews had quite a hand in Europe at that time and no doubt many itinerant comedy troupes swinging through village and town from England to Italy were likely Jewish or Gypsy or a mix (they frequently traveled together in caravans since both were more or less outcasts of European society).

We know the Stooges were Jewish and that their parents had emigrated to the States. Their real name was Horowitz (Larry's was Feinberg) and Shamp got his name because his mother's thick Yiddish accent caused her to pronounce "Sams" as Shemp.

Being that Jews were outcasts performing for whoever would hire them, we can figure they had some wealthy patrons pay them to entertain the kids. So we often see the Stooges dressing as bratty kids or shady vagrants looking for a quick meal with as little work as possible, wreaking havoc on high society and mocking accepted social mores. This would have resonated as much among the American masses as European--especially during the Depression when many Stooge shorts were made.

The Punch & Judy is deliberately infantile and low brow because it is specifically geared to children. Curly is the quintessential man-child designed to appeal to the immature humor of young tots. The plots, however, were often adult-oriented which enabled adults to enjoy the Stooges perhaps as much if not more than kids. A kind of social release, a dropping of respectable pretensions, allowing us to be kids again for a brief time. This was, in fact, the identical purpose of the old blackface minstrels.

The adult criticism of the Stooges as being "stupid" or "insulting to my intelligence" is pretty much stating the obvious. It's like criticizing ice cream for being cold.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 29 Jul 06 - 01:39 PM

That is a very perceptive analysis on your part, 282RA. Your linking of the Stooges with the Punch and Judy shows and the vaudeville tradition is well thought out. As you say, that kind of humour is deliberately intended to be as lowbrow and stupid as possible to appeal to very young children...so criticizing it for so being is really quite redundant. I therefore withdraw my criticism.

It's a matter of taste as to whether one would enjoy watching it or not, and I suppose it would depend on the occasion. There are times when lowbrow fits the bill.

Consider this: You point out that the Stooges were Jewish, which is well known, of course, and they would have been considered representative of the most low class, migratory vagrants and labouring class sterotypes of the time. Well, seeing the first Stooge films in the early 30's may have been what drove Adolf Hitler's already gross prejudice against the Jews over the edge into genocidal madness! Thus the Stooges could inadvertently have been the factor that tipped the balance and sent the world into its greatest conflict and resulted in the slaughter of many millions. A sobering thought, isn't it?

That was, I might add, the conflict in which we, the British, stopped the Germans in the Western Desert and the Battle of Britain and saved all you Yanks...because if it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German! (tee hee!)

*PR

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 29 Jul 06 - 03:14 PM

>>Your linking of the Stooges with the Punch and Judy shows and the vaudeville tradition is well thought out.<<

The Stooges WERE vaudevillians long before landing a contract with Columbia Pictures. When I say Shemp was the original 3rd stooge, it was their vaudeville days I refer to. It was originally just Moe and aguy named Ted Healy. Then they found Larry performing in another vaudeville act and hired him away from them. Then Healy and Moe decided a 3rd stooge was required and Moe got his brother Shemp to join up and for years they toured the vaudeville circuit and Ted Healy & His Three Stooges.

Healy, however, was a drunk and the stooges got tired of it. Shemp got so sick of it, he decided to leave first. He didn't want to screw over his partners so he told Moe that the youngest brother, Jerome, whom they called "Babe" (also Shemp's wife's name coincidentally) could fill in. Moe was dead against it since Babe had no show biz experience. Shemp twisted Moe's arm and Moe relented and Babe became Curly. Because he forgot lines quite frequently, Curly developed an arsenal of sight and sound gags to employ to cover up his lapses and these went over so hugely that the stooges worked them into the act.

When Curly left the Stooges in '52 due to health problems, Shemp was able to take over so well because he had long ago worked out his routine as 3rd stooge. The studio at first tried to make him imitate Curly but it wasn't working and when the public felt that Shemp's own antics were hilarious on their own, the studio got off his back and let him do what he wanted.

AS for the Stooge-Hitler connection, it is not known if Hitler had ever seen them. It is noteworthy that Moe did his Hitler routines while Hitler was still in power. Hitler may have seen them or heard of them. His antisemitism, however, was ingrained long before and it actually had a very long tradition in Europe. Yellow Stars of David, for example, came from the medieval French (in fact, French Jews also had to wear a horned cap in public in addition to the star).

Still, you have to wonder if Hitler ever saw Moe's routine. I'd hate to be one of his generals having to watch a private screening with him because I'd laugh so hard, he'd have had me executed for treason. As soon as Moe said, "Gimme back my personality!" I would have totally lost it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 07:17 AM

See? A dozen posts in a row. All civilised. All sensible. Not a poorly worded insult in sight. It can be done with absolutely no need to resort to At least Monty Python had a sense of humor which is more than can be said for most of you ignorant limeys. Maybe if you spoke English like real men instead prissy little gay boys you wouldn't feel so inferior

No raising of blood pressure. No-one getiing back at you. All good stuff which even the most ardent critic of the stooges cannot disagree with. I knew it was in there somewhere:-) Thanks 282RA - The virtual pint is yours and waiting at the bar.

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: *daylia*
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 09:59 AM

comparing the Bible and other sacred texts with the Stooges is rather like comparing Mozart with tic tac toe. But if doing so helps you to enjoy your life more; if ridiculing and attacking other people helps you to feel better about yourself, 282RA, then I'm glad you've found a relatively harmless venue for all that venom here on Mudcat.

Better that than have you relieve yourself all over innocent bystanders, family members, neighbours, co-workers etc etc etc.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 10:56 AM

All my insults were not meant to be taken seriously, you dumbshits. I don't have anything against Britain or the British, I was amusing myself watching you go ballistic at the most childish insults I could muster up. The more childish they were, the worse you reacted. That's the price you pay for having no sense of humor.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: *daylia*
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 11:03 AM

Humour can be rather like a tumour, 282RA. Some forms are harmlessly benign; others are fatally malignant.

Shall we conduct a biopsy, then?

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 11:09 AM

I was amusing myself watching you go ballistic at the most childish insults I could muster up. The more childish they were, the worse you reacted

The language differences must be greater than I thought then. It seemed to me that most Brits were only playing games with you and that you were in danger of going into spontanious cobustion.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 11:11 AM

Ditto, 282, ditto;-) Did you ever figure mine out though? You should know them if you are really a fan. Do you not find it ironic that when you insult someone it is humour but when someone insults you they don't have any? Ah well. Just the way of the world I guess.

Was the post where you got all serious about me getting off the thread tongue in cheek as well? Had me hook, line and sinker if it was. Well done:-D

Your mother was a hampster and your father smells of elderberries.

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: *daylia*
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 11:22 AM

Hey 2, is your real name Maple Syrup?

(Seems to fit you so well, you sap!)

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 11:24 AM

It was the fact that you couldn't see that I was fucking with you for no reason than to fuck with you that started to get on my nerves. Just get off the thread if it bothers you. I'm not here to make you feel better about yourself. If being British bothers that much, change countries. Until, fuck off, you limey jug-eared, no-chinned stomach-eater.

Oh, wait, that's the Scottish. I think I hear them coming now.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: *daylia*
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 11:52 AM

282RA, in some circles there's a term for people who behave like you. They're called 'energy vampires', or 'energy sucks' - people who will do or say just about anything to get the attention they crave. And so they waste/slurp up other people's time, energy and attention as much as they possibly can.

The only way I know of to protect oneself from such pests is to ignore/stay as far away from them as possible. THerefore, your "get off the thread if it bothers you" is right on the mark. So, congrats!

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 01:22 PM

Hoo-boy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 03:44 PM

282RA

Everyone bar none can see what you are doing. Why credit yourself with anything other than being an obvious dickhead? You deserve an insult far less than you think you do.

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: 282RA
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 08:29 PM

Exactly. I was being an obvious dickhead. Exactly, exactly, exactly. So why were you getting so upset? I wasn't serious, why are you? Dummy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 Jul 06 - 10:40 PM

Boy, it's really an awful spectacle when people try to "outcool" each other like this. Sad. I'm glad I ain't human.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 02:15 AM

I'm sorry, but The Fooles Troupe has no current vacancies - something about too many applicants...

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 04:25 AM

Why do you think I am serious? Why do you think you are the only one who can deliver insults in a humourous way? Delusional I reckon. Get help man.

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 11:08 AM

OK - So judging from the lack of response I would guess 282 has lost interest. Shame realy - Some interesting insights into the 'stooges' and their origins. Could have been re-clessified to go upstairs as folklore if that was developed a bit more.

However, seeing as there has been some very obvious trolling by 282, as in

I was amusing myself watching you go ballistic at the most childish insults I could muster up. The more childish they were, the worse you reacted. That's the price you pay for having no sense of humor.

and

I never encouraged anyone to visit more folk clubs since I don't visit them myself. I'm not a folkie, mate. Wouldn't know anything about it. I go for 50s music--jump blues, rockabilly, doowop. I also like ragtime and early jass. Don't know of any folk artists.

This guy isn't realy Martin Gibson is he? ;-)

In addition there are such remarks as -

Notice how it's always dumb fucking Limeys who can't read anything over 5 sentences. And they wonder why they've taken Canada's place as America's bitch these days. No offense meant there.

At least Monty Python had a sense of humor which is more than can be said for most of you ignorant limeys. Maybe if you spoke English like real men instead prissy little gay boys you wouldn't feel so inferior. No offense.

But American humor still achieved something you nation of ale-swilling prissy-talking cross-dressers could never hope to achieve even if your empire hadn't crumbled into dust because we kicked your ass in the 18th century

Well, you're British, what else needs be said.

But that's in some Limey part of the world and no one cares about that part. That's why your PM had to attach himself like a leech to George Bush in order to vicariously experience what it's like to lose an empire. At least we have one to lose.

While I'm doing that, why don't you grow up, you biscuit-eating tea-sucking pale imitator of American superiority?

If being British bothers that much, change countries. Until, fuck off, you limey jug-eared, no-chinned stomach-eater.

Surely this level of invective can be seen as nothing but racism which is not allowed on this site is it? Isn't it about time this thread was considered for closure by the editing team?

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 12:26 PM

Well, Dave, I don't think I would be in favour of closing it, and I'll tell you why. It's side-splittingly funny to see someone, especially a "Yank" of all people (considering the incredible way his country screws around with the rest of the world), having the bad taste and gall to talk in such an ignorant fashion about some other nation of people. Why prevent him from continuing? Give him more rope, I say, and watch him dangle from it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Holy Stoogaic Wisdom
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 Jul 06 - 02:28 PM

100 :-D