Folkies in wife swap

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 03 Sep 06 - 02:13 PM

Despite the lure of bright lights and the chance to wind up the TV people I think we will have to decline they're kind (?) offer. I'm still wondering who it was that put us forward! The woman from Channel four said she had a caravan - at a folk festival so that narrows it down lol!

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: shepherdlass
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 07:16 PM

I also wonder if the media company pay for the psychiatric bills of the kids traumatized by these "experiments"/freak shows (let's face it, we know they trade in caricature stereotypes). It might be reasonably healthy for these kids to see the norms they've grown up with challenged ... but to do it in such a combative way and with one parent missing for a couple of weeks can't do them much good.

Still, am now intrigued who they'll swap the folkies with. Ashamed to say I'll probably watch just to find out!

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 03:07 PM

and all they did was piss on the salad...

that was great. I wouldn't want to miss out on that.

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Dan Schatz
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 01:07 PM

In case you're still tempted, watch this.

Eek.
Dan Schatz

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 01:05 PM

yes I think you missed it

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 11:18 AM

Could I swap my wife for a grizzled old Ewan Macoll type bloke then, or am I missing the point?

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 11:09 AM

It might be quicker if we dispensed with the telly people altogether. There is plenty of room below the BS line to stage it live in cyberspace. I am sure that we could set up a couple of virtual houses down the road from the Mudcat Tavern and invent a couple of ridiculously named "Guests" to swap with.
Perhaps we could combine some "reality" shows with a few of the worst soap operas and include a few minor "celebrities" I've never heard of just for good measure.
                         INTRODUCING
The "I'm a Celebrity", Cook My Neighbours Garden in 60 minutes when he's away Factor.

Any other ideas?
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Marje
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 10:50 AM

I think you're getting the hang of this, Mrs Duck. Purple hair and mung beans are just the sort of features they'd be looking for. It's just that you'd have to spend a fortnight (that's two weeks, you USians, OK?) with some tone-deaf truck-driver in a string vest, or possibly an obsessively tidy insurance salesman (no slur is intended on any vest-wearers, truck drivers or insurance men reading this).

As regards payment, it wouldn't surprise me if there was no payment, or only modest expenses. There seem to be plenty of people who will do anything just to get on the telly.

Anyway, just you get on with booking the morris sides and then you can send in your photo and CV to the BBC. I'm looking forward to the programme already ...

Marje

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 07:31 AM

thats the spirit!

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: chucky
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 07:24 AM

The Copper family would be good

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 07:12 AM

I could dye my hair purple, eat nothing but mung beans and give all their furniture to the poor. Then I could invite all the local morris sides to come and dance on their lawn.

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 06:52 AM

I don't think you'll get on - you are too nice.
Or if they do choose you, they will put you in with a right bastard who takes drugs and eats the wall paper, feeds his kids to the rotweiller, pisses on the salad for vinaigrette....

thats how they do these programmes, they stage a battle....

still its only for two weeks and you will be seen by all your pals on telly. You will be able to give a party with a screening. You may get some more gigs from it. You would be a local celebrity - if you did the pissing the salad - you could be a national celebrity.

what else would you be doing? there comes a time in the affairs of man when taken at the flood, or something.....

Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be Mad Folkie!

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 05:16 AM

The more I hear the less I like - although if a cleanliness and tidy freak could comme here it might be worth it lol

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: SINSULL
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 09:13 PM

I watched in horror about two weeks ago when the urban sofisticate (not a misspelling) carted the family animals off to the pound. I too would not like a kangaroo shitting on the beds but DAMN! if anyone tried to get rid of my Alice there would be war.
Run far and fast, Mrs. Duck. In the states you get about $1000 to spend on your foster family. Used to be $10,000 but I guess candidates could be found cheaper.

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Tinker
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 06:21 PM

I've seen the version here in the states SINSULL and although I think my horde could give as good as it gets... how do the producers pick opposites when dad is a banker and mom a folkie ??? Maybe I could get some one to clean my house for me, but I'm afraid that poor little Bubba would have a nervous breakdown between the camera crew and a "new" mom -- no thanks.

SINSULL that hoot of a show will just have to be shelved, we are too shy.

Tink

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: skipy
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 06:18 PM

Stand two.
Will mean something to some of us!
Skipy

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 06:13 PM

Hey what's wrong with my pink cushions?? (joke) Actually the main reason I don't want to go ahead is (sloppy alert) I wouldn't want to spend 9 days away from Geoff or the kids (well ok maybe the kids). Also I noted from discussions from the researcher that at no point was money offered - why on earth would anyone want to do this for free?? As to what constitutes a folk family I have no idea - most of the time we are Mr and Mrs Average albeit in technicolour! You are as likely to hear the Arctic Monkeys on the CD player as Waterson Carthy.

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Marje
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 12:52 PM

Don't do it! If you've ever seen the programme, you'd run a mile rather than get involved. The people who do take part are all either obsessive, dysfunctional or barking mad.

The "folk" wife (who would have to be a drippy-hippy with long hair and ethnic clothes) would be sent to be wife-and-mother to some trendy, fat, pretentious kids who wouldn't be seen in the street with her, let alone persuaded of the value of folk music. The father would be a truck-driver who ate junk food, chain-smoked, and found the woman and her tastes incomprehensible. She would drag them all to a session or folk event and they would hate it.

The folk family, in turn, would be subjected to the attentions of a daft trollop who spent all day polishing her nails and buying furry pink cushions for the sofa. She would bring her own music to convert them - CDs, she wouldn't be able to play an instrument - probably some sort of "easy-listening" or disco twaddle.

If all this sounds like lazy stereotypes, that's what the programme's about. Tha chances are that folk clubs/festivals etc would be caricatured and made to look ridiculous. Folk needs more exposure, but not this, believe me.

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 11:36 AM

Go for it Geoff!!

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 11:33 AM

C4 woman phoned yesterday. I was not part of conversation. Not sure if we are interested in the idea.
Quack!
Geoff.

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: vectis
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 07:58 PM

Well....
You said it would be fun.
Seriously. Have they really contacted you or are you pulling our collective legs?

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: fat B****rd
Date: 28 Aug 06 - 03:42 AM

Remember those nauseating songs like "What Is A Little Girl ?" so exactly "What Is A Folk Family ?" ??

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 06:59 PM

Well, my idea, but not my doing!

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 27 Aug 06 - 04:50 PM

Well someone has spoken to someone as channel four have contacted us!!

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Folkiedave
Date: 11 Aug 06 - 03:34 AM

Hell Malcolm, I started that one too!!

It's certainly the same programme and the same meeja company!!

If anyone is offended by this thread please forgive me (disclaimer in case my wife Helen sees it).

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 09:19 PM

Is this a new attempt on an older theme? See thread  BS: Wife Swap/ Partner Swap. Couples wanted (2004)

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 05:46 PM

Would be fun I suppose.

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 04:40 PM

Wonder how Tinker's library and Goddess Garden would go over with a born-again Christian? And all that teenage angst! A natural.

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 04:16 PM

Actually, they said our house was too clean.... not too tidy.

Trouble would be finding a family that would be my direct opposite... I'm fond of heavy metal, opera, choral and most pop.... and I've been known to wave my hands in the air at Christian and Pagan events too....

LTS

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: GUEST,Frug
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 04:03 PM

Ok ............... count me in. I'll take Kate Rusby !! I might not be as good on the fiddle as McCosker but Hey !! I can play more than one instrument........know what I mean.....nudge nudge wink wink

Frank

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: GUEST,Scooby doo
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 03:34 PM

Iwould swap my ex husband Miskin man for the programme.
Scooby Doo

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Joe Offer
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 02:40 PM

Hmmm. Whose wife would I want to swap for?
I think I'm happier with the wife I've got.
So, I guess that means I'm not volunteering.

Hey, can I swap my ex-wife?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 02:24 PM

Spaw! Can you imagine? Then again I suspect he is painfully shy in person.

How about Tinker's madhouse. That would be a hoot! How about it, Kathy?
SINS

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: open mike
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 02:04 PM

is this some sort of a singer's , I mean swinger's orgy, then?

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Paul Burke
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 10:16 AM

Swap she had it i-o?

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Mr Fox
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 09:45 AM

"What would the background music be?"


Swap the widow?

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 09:35 AM

I'd even swap my wife for a bodhran or a banjo.

eric

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Splott Man
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 08:55 AM

Paying?

They'll be folkies, they do it for love and enthusiasm!


How about Swåp Swap?


What would the background music be?

Merry Swapped the Quaker's Wife
The Swappèd Wife?
The Swap Carpenter's Wife
The Jealous Husband Well Fitted
The Swap of Usher's Wife?

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: manitas_at_work
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 08:53 AM

Thanks Jacqui. Somebody proposed us for "How Clean is Your House" but when the researcher came round she told us the place was too tidy!

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 08:38 AM

"younger members"

.... ooooooooooo ......

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 08:36 AM

Andrew and Sussex Carole - they've not been married long :-)

As for folk festivals being centres of depravity I have two comments:

1. Yes they are - allegedly. I remember a whole festival campsite eating bacon butties (or veggie alternative) and drinking tea at Moor and Coast at 2.00 am thanks to the activites of one couple. People could not get to sleep not because of the noise of course (which indeed was considerable) but because they were busy listening to what happened next.

2. If you think that is bad what do you think goes on at Morris weekends - allegedly. I have often thought we ought to use this as a marketing ploy to attract new and younger members (sic!). Then I thought why should I?

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 08:35 AM

How about a Far-Right-Fundo-Christo Family?

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: jacqui.c
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 08:35 AM

More likely to be heavy metal fanatics.

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Nick
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 08:33 AM

Is there any indication of who they would be swapping with?

What is the polar opposite of a folk obsessed family?

Perhaps a family who sits and watches Big Brother and the rest of the Channel 4 output and does f~*% all else?

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 08:28 AM

.... but WHICH Roger?

I know of more than one.... ;-)

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: jacqui.c
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 08:23 AM

How about Liz The Squeak, Manitas and Limpit? I reckon they could give just about anyone a run for the money.

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: jeffp
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 08:21 AM

How about Roger?

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 07:52 AM

Nominations so far TED and the DUCKS - that I would like to see

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: the one
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 07:47 AM

I NOMINATE TED

Subject: RE: Folkies in wife swap
From: Mr Yellow
Date: 10 Aug 06 - 07:42 AM

Personally I think Ch 4 are on a looser.

If they knew anything about Folk they would realise that looking for sensational Folkies - ie slobs and misanthropes - is going to be a long haul.

But then pairing a caring couple with the "me" generation crowd would be the kind of television they seek - but bad for Folkies.

Why don't they televise the pairings at Folk Festivals over a year - there would be a few husband swaps to choose from - and not a few asignations............... I am told.........

Hatchet Job is the least of your worries - they manipulate - it is their trade. Truth is not something they understand. Manufactured truths and cut and shut conversations are all they can manage.

The programmes are entertainment. Not documentary, not reality (do they know the meaning of the word?) not fact but mental wallpaper.

Sarah is bound to be keen - they are running out of ideas and Folk is way down the pecking order.