Subject: Lyr Add: WILD BILL HICCUP (Spike Jones)
From:
Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 01:30 PM
You can hear this at YouTube or at The Internet Archive. The latter has an image of the record label.
This “song” is not sung, but it is recited by several characters at a quick pace, accompanied by music and sound effects.
WILD BILL HICCUP
As recorded by Spike Jones and His City Slickers, 1949.
Here is a western we saw last night,
Full of action and dynamite.
We thrilled and nearly stood on our head
From the moment the hero walked in and said:
“I’m Wild Bill Hiccup and I’m brave an’ strong.
I been ridin’ the range for six months long.
I been ridin’ the range a-roundin' up cattle.
I got so many blisters I’m tall in the saddle.”
“I am a villain; I’m mean as can be.
I hate the hero ’cause he sings off key.
I’m an ornery cuss and I’m so full o’ lead,
When a rattlesnake bites me he drops down dead.
Why chewin’ on bullets is my daily routine.
[sound of spitting, and metallic clang] See what I mean?”
“Ugh! Me injun, nice and tan.
Ugh! Me also businessman.
Me take-um scalps to make-um penny,
Sell ’em to man named Jack Benny.”
Our story takes place in a lawless town.
They’ve called on Hiccup to tame things down.
He’s just arrived and who should he meet,
But a no-good outlaw, Poison Pete.
“Pete, I hear you been a-rustlin’ again.”
“And I blew up the bank and I shot twenty men.
I held up the stagecoach and robbed the mail car.”
“One o’ these days you’re gonna go too far.
“So you think that you’re a pretty good fighter?”
“You should ’a’ seen what I did to Pink Ryder.”
“You mean Red Ryder.” “No, he changed his name.
He got faded last week in a big crap game.
“I think you’re a coward through and through.
I’m gonna tell the whole town what I think of you.
[sound of gunshots] So there!”
“Shootin’ off your mouth won’t get you anywhere.
“You better leave town if you want to live,
Or I’ll fill you full o’ holes till you look like a sieve.
My old six-shooter’s just achin’ to spout.”
“You better cover up the muzzle; the candy’s(?) fallin’ out.”
Now the mood of our story changes fast.
Hiccup is back on his ranch at last.
“Well, here I am; I’d better get dressed.
I got a heavy date; I want to look my best.
I’ll take a quick shower and smell like a flower.—
That was a mighty quick shower.
[sound of knocks] “Who’s a-knockin’ at my door?”
“It’s Gopher Annie, the girl you adore.”
“Gopher gal, you’ve changed somehow.”
“Do I look like a cowgirl?”—“No, like a cow.”
“Bill, do you like the perfume in my hair?”
“Is that the perfume you always wear?”
“No, this is stronger; it’s more alive.”
“What do you call it?”—“Corral Number Five.”
“Gal, I can see you been ridin’.”—“’Course,
And I had to put a blindfold on the horse.”
“Blindfold a horse? You’re crazy in the head!”
“If he sees what he’s carryin’, I’m afraid he’ll drop dead.”
“Gal, I loves ya, deep down inside,
And I been needin’ a wife since Old Paint died.”
“Well, stop your stallin’; why don’t you propose?”
“I can’t find a ring the size o’ your nose.
“Anyway, I gotta find Poison Pete.
I think he’s hidin’ at Girdle Creek.”
“Girdle creek? There must be a catch
Is it far from here?”—“It’s quite a stretch.
“Well, here we are; it’s the end o’ the ride.
Pete ’n’ his gang are waitin’ inside.
Now here’s my plan: be as quiet as a mouse.
I’ll sneak in and you surround the house.”
“Here’s your gun.”—“I don’t need a gun.
I’m gonna throw that gang out one by one.”
“I hope you know what you’re talkin’ about.”
“You just count ’em as I throw ’em out.”
[sound of fighting] “One—.”
“Stop countin’! It’s me!”
- - -
The record label says the song is from a film called “Really, Mr. Greely,” but IMDb.com lists no such film.
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