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BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven

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wysiwyg 28 Sep 06 - 08:25 PM
frogprince 28 Sep 06 - 08:41 PM
McGrath of Harlow 28 Sep 06 - 08:57 PM
wysiwyg 28 Sep 06 - 09:21 PM
McGrath of Harlow 28 Sep 06 - 10:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Sep 06 - 10:54 PM
wysiwyg 28 Sep 06 - 11:03 PM
Amos 28 Sep 06 - 11:32 PM
wysiwyg 28 Sep 06 - 11:35 PM
Paul Burke 29 Sep 06 - 03:30 AM
Big Al Whittle 29 Sep 06 - 07:26 AM
Snuffy 29 Sep 06 - 09:40 AM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 29 Sep 06 - 10:20 AM
GUEST,CrazyEddie 29 Sep 06 - 10:28 AM
MMario 29 Sep 06 - 10:38 AM
Jeri 29 Sep 06 - 10:55 AM
Jeri 29 Sep 06 - 04:06 PM
MMario 29 Sep 06 - 04:16 PM
Severn 29 Sep 06 - 06:03 PM
wysiwyg 29 Sep 06 - 07:23 PM
Charley Noble 29 Sep 06 - 09:38 PM
Big Al Whittle 30 Sep 06 - 02:39 AM
keberoxu 16 Sep 20 - 01:37 PM
Mrrzy 16 Sep 20 - 03:47 PM
EBarnacle 17 Sep 20 - 12:44 PM
Nigel Parsons 19 Sep 20 - 09:44 AM
Rapparee 19 Sep 20 - 10:57 AM
Mrrzy 19 Sep 20 - 11:41 AM
EBarnacle 19 Sep 20 - 01:36 PM
Raggytash 20 Sep 20 - 06:26 AM
Raggytash 20 Sep 20 - 06:26 AM
Mrrzy 20 Sep 20 - 08:38 AM
EBarnacle 21 Sep 20 - 09:46 PM
Severn 24 Sep 20 - 08:00 PM

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Subject: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 08:25 PM

We were kidding around about something here at home, and suddenly Hardi turned it into Talk Like a Pirate Day, in heaven. "Avast, sinner!" "I never knew ye, yarrrrghhh!" "Haul the lubber aboard, mates!" "Welcome to the crew, arrrrghhh," and stuff like that.

Just for fun, what can you imagine being said in heaven, pirate-style?

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: frogprince
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 08:41 PM

Ye was waitin fer th' rrrapturrre? Wut's a rrratturrre?


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 08:57 PM

Wouldn't the Other Place be a more likely destination?


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 09:21 PM

I don't think that's the premise I offered, but if you'd rather take it there, feel free. I just thought some people might enjoy being playful with the Serious Stuff for a change. If you make Hell the setting, it isn't as funny-- it's too much like what you'd expect. I could be wrong-- surprise me! :~)

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 10:04 PM

Well fisherman talk and pirate talk would be pretty close, I'd imagine.


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 10:54 PM

What if Jesus had been made to walk the plank instead of being crucified?

First, would he have drowned or merely bounced off the water's surface and walked away?

If he had drowned, would the devout wear necklaces with little planks as pendants? Would church steeples have planks at their pinnacles? Would Popsicle sticks be treated as objects of reverence?


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 11:03 PM

Well, it's a well-known fact that if He'd been a cowboy, the sacrament would be sarsaparilla. Instead of the sign of the cross, it'd be the sign of the noose (I know you can picture that). Don't forget The last Bar-B-Que.... There was more I can't recall at the moment, aaarghhh!

Back to the pirates--

Instead of disciples: mateys. And they'd never have left their nets to follow Him on LAND-- He'd have picked 'em up on His pirate ship and sailed off. "I'll teach you to be press-gangers of men," not fishers.

"Prey for your enemies, yarrrghhhh."

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 11:32 PM

This strikes me as wondering what Batman would do if he went to Superman's house...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 11:35 PM

He'd take a leak, of course. No toity in the Batmobile, and Bobert can't put one in yet.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Paul Burke
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 03:30 AM

"Avast, sinner!"

Keats was once seriously ill, so ill that he was pronounced dead, but thanks to the persistence and skill of a talented young doctor, he was revived and eventually recovered.

When he was well enough to receive visitors, Chapman went to see him, and the conversation came eventually round to his near- death experience. He described walking towards a bright light, but rather than being frightened, he seemed to be drawn on. He came at last to a beautiful garden, lit by perfect light, with the most astounding flowers and luscious fruits, and echoing with harmonious birdsong.

"And who did you see there?" cried Chapman, fascinated. Keats pondered a moment, then replied, "That was the funny thing. I was all alone. There wasn't a sinner in the place."


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 07:26 AM

yo ho ho! and a bottle of holy water!

Arrrrrrr!men!


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Snuffy
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 09:40 AM

Even though it's lonely there, Heaven is obviously myles better than the other place, arrrrrrrrrrrr.


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 10:20 AM

Avast and belay there mates. God is the First Sea Lord and Jesus be Admiral of the Fleet. When the Pope asked his first mate "where be my buccaneers"? His first mate replied "under yer buckin hat cap'n"

Here endeth yer first lesson. Aye!   Dave


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: GUEST,CrazyEddie
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 10:28 AM

Sixteen Angels on the head of a pin,
Yo Ho Ho & a bottle of holy-water.


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: MMario
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 10:38 AM

(To the tune of Mike Campbell's 'whiskey John'

Well, sit down me lads, I'll tell you a tale
We call the Nativity
How Jesus Christ, the Son of God
Was born of the Virgin Mary

The wisemen sailed, it has been told
To give him grog, hardtack and gold
Before he was a single day old
Shout out a loud "Amen!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 10:55 AM

Noah's Parrot's soul: "Polly wanna cracker"
Noah's soul: "Avast, ye mangey dead bird, I told yez them things ain't 'crackers'!

Oh, being a pirate is all fun and games
'Till somebody loses a life
To heaven you'll go, not the place down below
If there's not enough gore on your knife
Lose focus, you might just be unwittingly righteous
Just stick to the violence and strife
Oh being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses a life


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 04:06 PM

Why can't I kill threads when I TRY?!


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: MMario
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 04:16 PM

Jeri - it's not even moribund until it drops off the page - and it's got another 23 plus hours for that! it still had 18 hours to go even when you posted.

The fishermen as they hauled their nets
heard angels singing on high
and hurried to the tumbled wreck
up on the shore so dry
Beneath the light of a shining star
they welcomed Heaven's newborn 'tar'
latest sprout of David, YARRRR!
Sing out a loud 'Amen'!


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Severn
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 06:03 PM

Q: Do Pirates get their limbs back in heaven? Are all hookers and peggin' rituals forbidden?

Q: Will there be any Holy Stoning the decks?

Q: Will all letters of Mark be changed to letters of Paul, or will Paul be heaved?

Q: Will there be Heavin' 'n' Haulin' in Heaven's Halls?

Q: Will Polly-Theism allow for parrots?

Q: Will they meet Noah and Joan of Aaaarrrrgh?



My favorite Heavenly Pirate is Gesthemene Sam....
"Whar IS that rascally Rabbi?"



First hymn lesson in the Official Mel Bay Pirate Harp Instructional manual:
"Where You There When My Crew Sea-fried My Lard?....."

Second hymn: "The Old Rugged Crossbones"

(There'll be none of that Harp-Poontang or any of those other Earthy Earthly type tunes played up here!....)




Within the week they'll feel more like Pontius Pirate,
"I wash my hook of this whole thing...."


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 07:23 PM

Within the week they'll feel more like Pontius Pirate,
"I wash my hook of this whole thing...."


Severn, your whole post was hilarious, but that one is the clear winner of Phase One!

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 09:38 PM

Well, pirates will get "quarters" in Heaven.

And they will sip the best Port Royal rum.

And there will be at least one buxom angel for each knee.

And each pirate will have his choice of concertina or banjo to play.

And St. Peter will wear an eye patch and a china-red bandana over his bald pate.

And there will be animated discussion of just what a "what's it" is!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 02:39 AM

Watch out you swabs!
Its Father, Son, Holy Ghost, and Jim Lad!
As ever was, little matey!
Arrrrr!


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Sep 20 - 01:37 PM

So, Jeri, you wanna try killing this thread AGAIN?
Me, I don't have to talk like a pirate
to get in trouble ...


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Mrrzy
Date: 16 Sep 20 - 03:47 PM

Gethsemane Sam! Glad I did not have a mouthful of tea!

[God creating the parrot]
"How about a tie dye chicken who screams actual words at you?

[creating octopus]
GOD: Give it 8 super strong arms & hands
ANGEL: uh, we're out of bones..
GOD: 8 weird floppy arms w/ suction cup things

[creating jellyfish]
how bout an evil bag

There are a lot of those but I picked the piratical ones...


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: EBarnacle
Date: 17 Sep 20 - 12:44 PM

You bag of rumbustious slime, you need not pretend that there is any justification for your continued existence.

As I was occupied with the US Census, I completely forgot to do this on the 16th inst.


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Sep 20 - 09:44 AM

Kim Kardashian arrives in Heaven to be greeted by St Peter (on talk like a pirate day)

Peter: "Avast behind"
Kim: "It's one of my famous features!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 20 - 10:57 AM

"Ahoy, ye lubbers! 'Tis the Justice herself! Pipe The Notorious RGB's aboard!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Sep 20 - 11:41 AM

Arrrr ya beat me to it matey


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: EBarnacle
Date: 19 Sep 20 - 01:36 PM

She rates five sideboys piping, as she clearly outranks any other admiral or leader. She and John Lewis were clearly the public conscience.


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Raggytash
Date: 20 Sep 20 - 06:26 AM

Why are Pirates called Pirates?


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Raggytash
Date: 20 Sep 20 - 06:26 AM

Just because they Aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Sep 20 - 08:38 AM

Thanks for a Sunday mornung snicker


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: EBarnacle
Date: 21 Sep 20 - 09:46 PM

I thought it was because Cakerates didn't work.


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Subject: RE: BS: Imagine Talk Like a Pirate Day in Heaven
From: Severn
Date: 24 Sep 20 - 08:00 PM

It used to be easier. Now we have to learn to speak and sing in Somalian. What does their flag look like? Can we improve upon it?

What if the crew all quit the ship and join the Air Force to become Parrot Troopers? Parrots will never replace pigeons. If you think stool pigeons can' keep a secret, a parrot is loud enough that the whole town will know everything in no time at all. A dove wouldn't do as a messenger because it has a conscience. But I digress.......


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