BS: Jolly good jokes

Subject: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 02:22 AM

There would appear to be a need on our forum for a thread to tell jokes in.

Who would care to start?

---

Click for the 'PermaThread: List of all joke threads'

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 05:11 AM

Hey Jock, is that a doughnut or a meringue ? yer nay wrang laddie, it's a doughnut.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: manitas_at_work
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 05:14 AM

There's already several threads on the subject but that's never stopped anyone before!

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 06:19 AM

That was a good one. Its the way you tell 'em Paul.

Perhaps posters could be encouraged to post their jokes to these threads then? Or even some to this thread.

Perhaps our forum needs a special thread started to contain the many posts containing only personal judgements on the worth of other posters and what they choose to post?

Or a meringue? That gave me a good chuckle eric.

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 07:07 AM

Try the current one - that's sorta run by me with a definite relatively meaningful title which fits in the current number of characters allowed -when the thread gets too big people seem to stop posting, so I link in a new one, but that's never stopped anyone posting to the older ones, as they (Shock! Horror! Amazing!) are not closed... and people here usually don't bother searching...

{:P

BS: Second Joke Thread for 2006
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=93806

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 08:03 AM

Robin

Do you get recipes in these joke threads?

Or posts from Big Mick telling others not to post to them?

Just asking

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 08:09 AM

Are you saying big mick isn't a joke?

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 08:11 AM

Not so far...

wait on, there was the recipe for the Irish Whiskey Christmas Cake...

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 09:33 AM

Not so far...

Does lots of spam get posted in them?

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: manitas_at_work
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 10:37 AM

Probably as much as any other thread, but the moderators are quick to clean it up.

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 12:01 PM

Does lots of spam get posted in them - by our 'moderators'?

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: fogie
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 12:11 PM

A tax inspector is trying to find something wrong with the accounts of a synagogue, and is speaking to the rabbi.
Well the accounts look OK to me ,but let me ask you about a few things you may have missed. For instance do you ask for a tax allowance on the candle stubs that remain? Well says the rabbi we dont ,but we do collect the remnants and post them back to the candlestick makers and every year they add a box or two to our order gratis. The tax man gets the bit between the teeth- Speaking of which what happens to the leftovers for suppers and other meals you might hold?. The rabbi says If there is anything unused we send it back to the makers, and for instance we get a few boxes of biscuits from the makers at Jewish New Year. Ah, now to the point says the tax inspector, what do you do with all the foreskins, from the circumcisions. The rabbi looks wearily at him. The answers much the same he replies -we save them up and each year we post them to the Inland Revenue, and once a year about this time they send us a complete prick!

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 12:41 PM

You can find some more jokes (and the spam referred to) in the following thread.

Closed threads and deleted posts

Say - look at that bird over there.

Yes - its a blackbird.

But its green.

Are yes - that's the colour they are when they're green.

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: jeffp
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 12:54 PM

Actually, most of that thread is a complete joke.

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 03:04 PM

Actually, most of that thread is a complete joke.

Such a joke that you have felt the need to post to refresh that thread at least 13 times already - with your cheery one-liners.

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: jeffp
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 03:21 PM

Sure, I like a good joke. Even you.

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: Wolfgang
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 03:45 PM

Permathread of jokes threads

Shambles,

you may have missed the above link as it was inserted in blue colour into an existing post and did not refresh the thread.

Follow the link and you may get an idea what posts are usually posted in a joke thread.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 03:52 PM

That was good one Wolfgang.

Subject: RE: BS: Jolly good jokes
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 02:05 AM

Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
--------------------------------------------------------------

Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't
keep you there.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your two minute management course