BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!

Subject: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 05:30 AM

This morning, my great and blue tits were joined by a coal tit.

I love this time of year - the gentle defoliation means the exposure of all those crannies that were covered in the summer. The lack of leaves on the bastard service tree meant I got a clear view of the coal tit that had previously not been visible.

As for the rest of the garden....

The blackbirds have denuded my bush of berries, they're welcome to them because I need to trim it to more treelike stature before next Spring. They're going to be in trouble when it comes to househunting.... we're acquired a robin who's househunting too! He's been bouncing around the garden as if he were on springs, shouting the odds from the bay tree and daring the cats to come and have a go.... plucky little bugger he is.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Emma B
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 05:36 AM

This time of year the long tailed tits return in flocks too. It's fun to see how many can fit on a single peanut feeder.

We still have plenty of berries I think nature must be anticipating a hard winter in her abundance but then our blackbirds much prefer anything I grow for my own table.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Paul Burke
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 05:42 AM

All we've got in our garden is a tell-tale tit, a silly old crow, a daft bustard and a funny tern.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Emma B
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 05:47 AM

Paul - you've got to get in more :)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 05:49 AM

Hey, look, I got a loverly bunch of cocoanuts too but I don't start threads about them!

Well, occasionally I do...............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: skipy
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 05:51 AM

Hallie berries!
I'm staying out of this one!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John O'L
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 07:23 AM

I've got a basketball, a rugby ball and a soccer ball...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: kendall
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 07:30 AM

That bird is called a black capped Chickadee here. In fact, it's the state bird.
Friendly little tits they be too. Not uncommon to be able to draw them to eat from your hand.

Ok Spaw, friendly tits...go

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 07:36 AM

I've already GOT my own home thank you!

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 07:48 AM

That's fine Robin.. but could you please stop crapping down my spade handle?

Yes, I know the spade should have been in the shed but it's had an 8ft spider web on it until recently, and I didn't have the heart (or nerve) to move it.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Jeri
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 08:05 AM

Oh, ponder the Parus atricapillus
In size, 'twixt a bicycle and a bacillus
But ignore Alfred Hitchcock, he'd never kill us
Would the genial Parus atricapillus

I love them - they seem to fly away only out of some sense of face-saving responsibility to the other birds.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 08:07 AM

If I had an 8 ft spider on MY spade, I wouldn't move it either...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Grab
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 11:35 AM

Sadly we seem to have a bit of a shortage of birds - probably the fault of the neighbourhood cats. Ah well, moving house soon, and we'll try and rent somewhere out in the country where there's more interesting fauna than just the local variety of Chav Tit. (Which has the locating call of "KEL-LY", because the aforesaid Kelly's friends are too thick to work out complex mechanisms like doorbells...)

Graham.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 12:04 PM

Beautiful tits,
Spotted today.
Tried to grab them,
They flew away.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 02:49 PM

I saw a Great Tippler's Nightcap yesterday, plain as day! Right there in the backyard.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 02:55 PM

So that's what was pressing into my back when you leaned over me to type on your computer!
G

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 03:33 PM

Talking about tits they don't seem to come much bigger than that woman in Get Me Out Of here, I'm A celebrity.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 04:31 PM

Which James Bond Villain had three?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Les from Hull
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 04:35 PM

Liz - spiders don't often reuse a web, although they might get two days out of one. You can sometime test for occupancy with a tuning fork. If it was a common garden orbweb spider it would be in the middle of the web anyway. But I do appreciate your kindness to arachnids.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 04:44 PM

Most only have two!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 05:31 PM

Are not two enough then?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 05:40 PM

Kindness nothing, the bitch was bigger than Shelob and she sat there for nearly a month!

Georgian - there are some guys who would say two dozen are not enough....

The tits have been busy at the feeders.. they have ignored the peanut net and the mixed grain, going straight for the black sunflower seeds hanging in the middle. Seems they're as picky as some children I know...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 05:47 PM

Liz, I can assure you that one lovely pair of tits would be adequate for me but I guess I never found a pair that would settle with me.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: bobad
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 05:56 PM

"I never found a pair that would settle with me."

Have you tried suet?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 06:06 PM

suet?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Emma B
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 06:07 PM

did someone mention "dumplings"?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: bobad
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 06:17 PM

For georgiansilver:

Speedy Birdcake by Jane Asher

You need: Suitable container - coconut shell or clean yoghurt pot, a heatproof pan, string.

Ingredients: Beef suet or lard (you need one part of lard to two parts of any of the following. You can just use seeds but any of the other ingredients are suitable too), seeds, nuts, dried fruits - raisins, sultanas - finely chopped bacon rind.

Instructions:
1. Melt or soften the suet/lard in a pan.

2. Pour the other ingredients you are using into the suet and mix well.

3. Place the string into the container so that half of the string is in the container and half is outside. Hold the string in place and pour the mixture into the container over the string.

4. Leave the mixture to cool.

5. Once the suet has hardened, hang up your container by the string that you left hanging outside the pot or coconut.

Enjoy watching the birds eating the food. You may see tits, greenfinches and, if you are lucky, great spotted woodpeckers. Blue tits and great tits may perform acrobatics and hang upside down at times while they eat.

You may get to see great tits performing acrobatics while hanging upside down.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 06:27 PM

Don't often see a coal tit. Long tailed, great and especially blue - loads of them usualy - seem to be more common here. I haven't spotted many tits on the feeders yet.

My favourite sight lately has been a couple of Jays. I hear them in the woods often enough but I rarely see them. They have been picking up food from the drive and have got as close as about 6 feet from my bedroom window - don't think I've ever seen them that close before.

There has been a woodpecker hammering away in the wood but I've not seen it.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 06:29 PM

If you have cats, be careful when positioning your fat ball... pussies like eating fat and those seeds have a dire effect on them... see this thread for details.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: skipy
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 06:35 PM

Villan, Faith Brown.
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 14 Nov 06 - 07:55 PM

Joe O., wasn't it the Man With the Golden Gun?

Elmer

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 15 Nov 06 - 09:17 AM

Thanks there Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 02:04 AM

Abstitootly correct, Elmer! It was Scaramonga, the Man with the Golden Gun.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: terrier
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 10:33 AM

I meant to do my work today-
But a brown bird sang in the apple tree,
And a butterfly flitted across the field.
And all the leaves were calling me.

And the wind went sighing over the land
Tossing the grasses to and fro,
And a rainbow held out its shining hand-
So I said SOD WORK TODAY,
Im gonna sit here and count Tits,
Oh, I may as well open that can of beer....

Apologies to Richard LeGallienne

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Schantieman
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 11:04 AM

Tits like coconuts!

























and sparrows like breadcrumbs.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Nick
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 12:39 PM

We used to live between Chipping Norton and Banbury and in winter used to have a whole set of tits except for bearded and crested ones - Blue/great/coal/long tailed tits would come to the bird table and we had willow and marsh in a wild bit at the back of the garden.

Lovely things.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: My guru always said
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 02:05 PM

Microwave is good for melting lard prior to adding suet, peanuts, grain & sunflower hearts for bird cake. Can't imagine why these are so expensive in the shops, why does anyone buy them?

The bird-lawn is becoming very attractive, so much so that a juvenile peregrine falcon landed on top of the bird-table the other day. Seem an adult in the garden a few days ago too! Nature's way!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 02:23 PM

Favourite cassette tape = Dolly Partons' Greatest Hits

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 07:38 PM

It wasn't a double A release was it?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 07:40 PM

Just as well there was no thrush among all those tits. And speaking of friendly arachnids, yesterday I found a small scorpion sitting in my kitchen, under the fridge door, catching a bit of cool.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: mrdux
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 12:58 AM

our yard regularly hosts a foraging flock of bush tits. . . really.

michael

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 07:43 PM

What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,...
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 06:11 PM

The zebra joke doesn't work in an English accent.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Bee
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 08:39 PM

I've got flocks of monotone peeping nuthatches in the spruce trees, along with the chickadees, blue jays and four Canada jays. Cormorant in the lake the other day, and various small ducks.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Ferrara
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 09:33 PM

Liz, never saw a pic of a coal tit before. Lovely. They aren't quite like our chickadees.

Here are some great photos of
coal tits.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Ferrara
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 09:58 PM

For the Brits reading this I just put up pics of our Black Capped Chickadees here

and here,

and of Carolina Chickadees, the kind I get in my yard,
here

and here.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 11:47 PM

As the Search site says...

"Didn't get the results you expected?"

http://search.ninemsn.com.au/results.aspx?srch=105&FORM=AS5&q=Australian+tits

I've been trying hard, but the best I can do so far is ...

Two years ago, Australian army helicopter pilots were suspended and an inquiry ordered after they were photographed flying a "show us your tits" banner during a sweep through the Surfers Paradise ...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 11:52 PM

BTW - Liz, you will note that story - complete with picture, appears in the "Sport" pages of The Australian newspaper - not the "Nature" section...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 04:22 AM

Your chickadees look like our long tailed tits.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Bee
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 08:05 AM

I love our Black-Capped Chickadees: 'chick-a-dee' they say all winter, but in early March they change their song to 'sweet weather'. That and the appearance of Common Mergansers on the lake are the first signs of spring here.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 04:11 PM

Yesterday, at lunch in the courtyard, I had an adolescent magpie hop up on the seat and importune me, by carolling.

Lovely!

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Observer
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 05:51 PM

I think I have a woodpecker working every morning on a tree outside my house, but I don't know for sure if it is a woodpecker, because all I ever see is the wood...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 06:03 PM

I am sure you would know if you had a woodpecker as their "Hammering" with their beak into the wood is so loud you would surely hear it.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 06:04 PM

Never actually heard of a woodpecker tit though!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 06:07 PM

Woodpeckers eh?

The Fooles Troupe know about woodpeckers...

Fooles: Once upon The Steps,
or Flickering Fateful Feathery Fingers

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 10:52 AM

Is that somebody who drinks Cider GS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 11:45 AM

LOL..in fact ROFLOL Les

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,jaze
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 12:03 PM

Liz, this reminds me of a conversation we had here once about Spotted Dick. I told a co-worker about Spotted Dick and she laughed and laughed and swore there couldn't be any such thing. Well... I'm ordering her some from a British Import place for Christmas. Can't wait to see her face when she opens it! Not sure I'll help her eat it, though :>)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 12:11 PM

Spotted Dick is a smashing pudding, especially with Custard. I would help her.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: terrier
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 04:31 PM

Spotted Dick...lovely grub, but When I was very young I wouldn't eat it. My Gran had a Dalmation dog and I used to think that's what it was made from. (kids logic) :=}

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: sapper82
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 11:24 AM

Suprised no one has mentioned the sad story of (I think) the Red Rumped Tit that arrived on these shores and had the twitchers all a quiver for a short period until an Avian Assassin (aka the Sparrow Hawk) had it for dinner!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 01:36 PM

Thought that was a Swallow Sapper?
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 01:40 PM

There ya go matey.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 03:21 PM

Must be a few of those... I#m pretty sure the one I read about meeting that fate was an American robin.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 07:10 PM

There's only one Australian Robin!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 08:38 PM

But you are flightless I think.... ;-)

Anyway, here is the American robin one.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 09:57 PM

The question he frames in all but words is

What to make of a diminished thing!

---from the poem "The Oven Bird" by Robert Frost












("cobra" = one for Siamese Twins...)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 05:32 AM

Flightless?

Not if the Lady makes the first move...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 05:55 AM

My robin is flitting around the buddliea bush now.. I think he's after the late bugs that are enjoying what must surely soon be the last of the sunshine. My tits have emptied their feeder again... I'm sure they're all addicted to black sunflower seeds.. I may have to wean them onto nuts.

The coal tit was hopping about this morning. I hadn't seen him for a few days, but they have a couple of other feeding sites on the block so I know they're all OK. The cats don't seem at all interested in chasing the tits... perhaps they don't taste nice.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 08:25 AM

Here's something new... the blackbird was attempting to get at the seed feeder about 30 mins ago....   maybe the word is spreading that black sunflower seeds are the thing to eat!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 08:45 AM

This thread has grown larger than I expected it to...hard to keep abreast of it.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 09:43 AM

Seems it's getting lots of support from somewhere....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 02:06 PM

It must be a Z bra by now

or maybe a hammock

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: robomatic
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 02:56 PM

I just love this characteristic of English that allows us to apply the names of body parts to common objects.

Growing up in boring ol' 'New' England I would never have guessed you could call a chickadee a tit. What a missed opportuniy for myself and my young male friends.

I would like to take this opportunity to make sure that younger generations not suffer unconsciously as I did, and propose the following noun nominations:

nipple - beatle
wang   - hammer
hickey - hickey
hair   - grass
lips   - cheerios

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 03:14 PM

I want you all to know I only opened this thread because I have a biological background. I thought this was a strictly scientific discussion regarding supernumary breast mammography/excision or a new evolutionary/genetic discovery countering the notion that "worthless as teats on a boar hog" was non-factual.

BTW, the number of teats on a boar hog has hereditary trait significance regarding the number and quality of teats his gilt piglets will have. (I had to add something scientific to make sure y'all believed the reason I opened this thread)

However, I should have known better to think this was a purely scientific discourse since Ms. Liz started it…

Liz, Liz, Liz you are something else young lady. You sure know how to get the laughs started.

Oh, and I most certainly quit reading the remainder of the posts as soon as I learned the true premise of the thread… (clears throat)

Thanks for the laughter.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 05:27 AM

There must be stormy weather ahead, my tits are bouncing around like nobody's business... They're all over the place, like someone has put coffee beans out for them...

The pyrocantha bush has been stripped completely by the blackbirds - nary a berry to be seen and the robin hasn't come out of his bush at all today (he's hiding in a privet bush in next door's garden).

Methinks it's time to refil the feeder and batten down a few nuthatches.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 05:52 AM

"bouncing around like nobody's business... "

Try sitting down.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 05:55 AM

We all need somewhere to be privet, even robins.
My ex-stepdaughter [don't ask!] had 3 nipples, but she kept that privet too.
All this beating about the bush is making me thirsty!
Byeeeee
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: MudGuard
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 06:40 AM

Liz, when I saw your thread about your tits, I really got interested ;-)

Strange how different languages are.

coal in German means Kohle.
So I thought the coal tit must be what's known here as Kohlmeise. But when I saw the pictures, I was confused.

So I looked it up - "Kohlmeise" is called "Great tit" in English, and "coal tit" is "Tannenmeise", "Tanne" meaning "fir" in English

"blue tit" is called "Blaumeise" ("Blau" meaning "blue"),
"crested tit" is called "Haubenmeise" ("Haube" meaning "hood"),
"sombre tit" is called "Trauermeise" ("Trauer" meaning "mourning"),
"long-tailed tit" is called "Schwanzmeise" ("Schwanz" meaning "tail")

(All the mentioned "Meisen" = "tits" I've seen from my balcony.

Robins, which are quite common in UK are quite rare here ...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 07:53 AM

The great tit and the coal tit are easily confused, which is why I checked my bird book.

Great tits are like blue tits but with black heads. Coal tits are like great tits but with brown bodies, not green and yellow.

Sometimes I wish I just had the sparrows back...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: MudGuard
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 08:19 AM

Also, the great tit is bigger than the coal tit. (My book says 14cm vs. 11cm [5.5in vs. 4.3in] beak-tip to tail-end). Blue tit is about the same size as coal tit.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 08:57 AM

Liz love...I think you would look very strange with a sparrows back

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 09:10 AM

Better than a Brighton sea front though.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 09:35 AM

Great tits Grommet!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 10:46 PM

Liz,
How wonderful your tits are bouncing around.
I haven't seen any tits at all around here, and I feel I'm missing out!

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 11:18 PM

I haven't seen any tits for ages - these days what with the increased risk of sunburn causing cancer I haven't been to the beach for yonks...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 12:17 AM

Fooles - this is England... even in summer my tits are blue.

They were right about the weather... got woken up by the wind in the chimney at 4.30am today. And that's a terrible place to get the wind, as the noise is magnified by the space.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 12:31 AM

Liz,

would a jumper help?

ooooo, er..

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 12:35 AM

I refused to comment on your wind, I hope you noticed.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 03:08 AM

But how many cats did Octopussy have?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 03:08 AM

Never heard the ar***ole referred to as the chimney before :-)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 06:03 AM

I could comment Les but I guess you'd be offended........ROFLOL

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 07:28 AM

Thought that comment would have you Wind Dinging In GS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 09:02 AM

I don't think it's fair to refer to Manitas like that... I really meant the chimney! Our bed is against the blocked off chimney breast, so we really do sleep like logs - with our heads in the grate! Trouble is, it just acts like a great big jug when the wind blows over the top at angle...

I tuned out the other wind noise a long time ago - but suffice it to say, if we could hook Manitas's ass up to a turbine, we'd cut our fuel bills in half!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 04:00 PM

It's time we made a clean breast of it. I am going to watch football on the boob tube now, and leave off this mindless tittering.

Oh, the humanity!

Art

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 05:50 PM

"it just acts like a great big jug when the wind blows over the top"

I could comment that perhaps you just might get the top sealed, but I will comment that you do now understand that 'empty vessels make most noise', thereby running the risk of turning this into a music thread.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 06:27 PM

One day this thread will be just another mammary..or is it memory?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Silverwolff
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 06:49 PM

At the risk of making people groan...


Somebody said "That's a strange tit,too
You have on the side of your head."
I said "That's a blue print, left by the bird,
Just a little more and I'd be dead"

See, you could finish the tune, and call it the Coal Tit, Too.


--Silver

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 10:31 PM

I think Liz must be in trouble...

She has three different tits,
They're bouncing around,
Her breast is blocked off,
but her big jug is exposed to the wind.

Makes me wonder at the waste.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Student J
Date: 26 Nov 06 - 03:57 AM

100

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Nov 06 - 06:40 PM

To add to the confusion Rowan...

They've been pecking the nut bag today. They've ignored it as long as there were sunflower seeds but they ran out yesterday so the nuts are back in favour.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Nov 06 - 06:50 PM

Ooh, makes my eyes water just thinking about it!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 02:19 AM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,GS
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:22 AM

Glad they leave my nut bag alone....

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:56 PM

The crimson rosellas outside my window do an excellent job at stripping nuts; they really know how to manipulate them. Most of the time, though, they only go at stripping one at a time.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 04:21 PM

I moved my bird bath and bird feeder from the back yard this fall, because the dogs weren't leaving them alone. Now outside my kitchen window on the side of the house, I have a wonderful perpetual motion display inhabited by any number of small finch-sized birds. Various hues are present, and they scoot in and out of my Silvarado sage and a couple of other evergreen plants (they particularly love a big rosemary out there). If the feeder goes empty I seem to have a high number of pert little faces peering through the window screen alerting me to the problem. It seems that they have been watching me watching them.

My neighbor was complaining this weekend that he hasn't seen many birds this fall, and then he discovered the small flock that hovers around my house. I have an extra shepherd's crook garden thing to give him and plan to find him an inexpensive bird feeder (it's a great time of year to buy them on sale) so he can lure a few back across the street.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 03:53 AM

From the gist of this thread there seem to be a lot of people who enjoy tits.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 04:16 AM

Well I think this thread should be in the music section.


Tit Songs

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 08:03 AM

Funny, I can't recall ever hearing my tits sing.... there's the odd peep and general twittering but no real song. Perhaps they just have no need to mark territory.

Squeaky

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 10:32 AM

>>Funny, I can't recall ever hearing my tits sing<< LOL

Well these do The Itchy Tits Band

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 07:19 PM

They've never been that itchy either!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 01:46 AM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 06:46 PM

Well th etits almost dropped off the bottom

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 09:46 PM

Age, gravity, it's inevitable they'll head south eventually...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 02:39 PM

Not mine... they were very perky yesterday morning, hanging off the nut bag upsidedown, doing acrobatics in the tree and bouncing along the fence.

The weather got a bit moist later though, so they went and hid.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 02:47 PM

Oh the mammaries that brings back!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 03:06 PM

Lucky you. I have none whatsoever.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 07:35 PM

That's worthy of a titter.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 08:53 PM

Now is the time for the titmouse to make his appearance.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Dec 06 - 12:43 AM

"titwillow, titwillow, titwillow..."

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Dec 06 - 05:15 AM

I used to watch Coaltitz on TV, I thought Bernard Hepton was very good in it.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: freda underhill
Date: 02 Dec 06 - 05:39 AM

I've been living down near the lake in Canberra, and one of the joys of getting the bus from there in the morning is watching the many flocks of birds that coast in to feast on the local plantlife. It's a beautiful moment when you look up to see if the bus is coming over the hill, and instead see a dozen galahs or rosellas
swarming through the trees.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 02 Dec 06 - 06:34 AM

Ard for making inflammatory reamarks.
Keith and Teribus for repling with equally inflammatory replies
Me, for taking part in the ludicrous cyber conversation.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: freda underhill
Date: 02 Dec 06 - 06:36 AM

birds of a feather.. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Dec 06 - 06:48 AM

Forgive me feather for I have sinned.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Dec 06 - 07:37 PM

There seem to be a lot of Galahs on this thread Freda!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Purple Foxx
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 02:22 PM

Another sort of Tit altogether is the sort who inadvertently deletes his cookie for this site & doesn't know how to replace it.
That would be me then.
All advice gratefully received.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 03 Dec 06 - 07:42 PM

Go to the log in screen...

you silly t(w)it....

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 12:57 AM

In honor of this thread, Liz, today I visited the local establishment with everything BIRDS. Houses, perches, books, and of course, seed. I picked up some premium bird seed for the various small birds, a mix that comes without a couple of the fillers that usually occupy a lot of space in commercial bags of seed but that don't do birds any good. And I picked up a mesh sack and a bag of thistle seed. Oddest stuff to spoon into the bag. The static electricity around the plastic and with the dry air gave it a life of its own.

I'll watch eagerly to see how long it takes some of the finches and cardinals to discover the need seed and that extra seed hanger!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 05:44 AM

Well Stilly, I'm glad my tits have had some influence on you, and I'm glad for their sakes that you've decided on the best seeds. If only people realised the damage that a dry crumb can do to a little moist stomach!

They've been bouncing around again today, it's bright and sunny out, so they're making the most of it. The robin has been clearing up all the bits that they drop from the nut bag and the blackbird is turning over old leaves. I love this sort of day!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 08:41 AM

Your tits have influenced us all on this thread Liz and the last sentiment particularly for me. What a beautiful and graphic picture you paint of your tits out bouncing around in the sun.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 11:16 AM

Who is this Robin. I hope he isn't getting his hands on the tits.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 03:28 PM

A tit in the hand is worth two in the...

Well, no. Never mind.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 03:37 PM

good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I read that, Little Hawk, or I'd be replacing the state's keyboard right now.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 10:00 PM

Man Little Hawk, that was very clever of you....

A bird in hand is worth two in the Bush. (I think I get it, clean mind and all)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 10:53 PM

Little-B bush, not Big-B Bush. Big-B Bush is a twit, nothing to do with tits and bushes.

Anyway, you should never have even tried spelling it out. That diminishes the effect of the wit.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 01:06 AM

I'm just surprised no one else thought of it. ;-) I got a good chuckle when I did.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 07:08 AM

I think Liz and her tits are bosom budgies!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 07:11 AM

It's taken you 138 posts to think of that one, hasn't it Giok!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 08:28 AM

In Australia we have lots of 'Budgie Smugglers' at the Beach...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 08:32 AM

A hand in the bush is worth two birds on the arm, I always say...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 08:35 AM

Glad you like tit Liz.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 10:47 AM

SRS 'sayed'

"Anyway, you should never have even tried spelling it out. That diminishes the effect of the wit."

Hey young lady, that was 2 posts after LH's "tit wit" and you know the type of people opening this sort of thread my not be as "bright" or "like-minded" enough to catch the drift (that does not include me, you, or LH of course!).

As far as big B-Bush versus little b-bush, I am fond enough of the real feminine Bush to think it deserves capitalization! (in fact BUSH!)

Now Liz, back to you. Why in the world would you start a thread like this enticing (forcing) decent folk like me and one or two others here to post 'thangs' that they would not have otherwise posted?

Oh, you retort, this thread really was only about titmice, the small insect-eating passerine birds of the family Paridae, and absolutely nothing else. Sure, that was your intent and any double-entendres were merely accidental or subject only to the "mind-in-the-gutter" perceptions of some Mudcatters.

Now, I have a biological background and my post here was solely to point out the salacious content of this thread and my attempt to return it to the purely scientific and ornithological endeavor that it should have been initially.   

Liz the Streak, er I mean Squeak, you are an 'evil thread' temptress (but obviously a very popular one at that, can you believe 140 plus post so far).

Next, you will likely be starting a thread about your tits flittering about in your pussy willow in your back yard, or some such.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 11:39 AM

I do have a pussy willow, but it's very small.... it's in the pond. The tits don't flitter in it because it's too close to the house.

They do like the pittisporum, but the clematis isn't big enough for them to sit in and it suffered badly from the drought.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 12:37 PM

Well I hope it isn't a weeping pussy willow, tit willow

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 02:08 PM

"Oh, behave!" (Austin Powers)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 04:34 PM

Pittosporum is a declared weed in parts of Australia. It's just as well it doesn't harbour tits.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 05:45 PM

Mine does, they nested in it one year!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 10:14 PM

Liz, I suspect that, whatever you think of your Pittosporum, you really value your tits much more highly. You wouldn't let them come to harm because of some weed, would you.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Long Firm Freddie
Date: 06 Dec 06 - 12:59 AM

There are an estimated 1.7million great tit pairs in the UK...

Birds living in cities are performing a type of "avian rap" while their rural counterparts are sticking to more traditional sounds, a study shows...

Read all about it here: tits

LFF

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: fogie
Date: 06 Dec 06 - 06:05 AM

Coal tits are absolutely hopeless for lighting fires.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Dec 06 - 06:28 AM

So no truth in the old saying 'hot time in the old town tonight'

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 06 Dec 06 - 09:43 AM

>>There are an estimated 1.7million great tit pairs in the UK...<<

Who has the greatest tits in the UK?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Dec 06 - 09:46 AM

Ah.. that could explain a lot. I've not heard my tits sing.. it must be because I'm expecting the languid trilling they did when I lived in Dorset. Obviously with city life, my tits have speeded up to make themselves noticed.

Coal tits are no good at lighting fires because when they hold the matches in their little claws, because they're upside down, the flames burn their bums and they drop the match. The trick is to put your fire under the tits perch and they'll drop the lit match onto it.

Either that or you have damp tits.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Dec 06 - 09:48 AM

Water pair of great tits?
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Dec 06 - 05:22 AM

Can your tits swim, or are water wings needed?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 07 Dec 06 - 07:05 AM

They would need to do the breast stroke then.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Dec 06 - 07:21 AM

With a name like Robin and coming from Australia, surely it would be the Red Breasted Australian Crawl?
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Dec 06 - 04:14 PM

Tits don't actually swim.....at times they may bob in and out of the water as the mood takes them. I do believe that tits are certainly the best of the species and considering that the adverts tell us that all the best things these days 'have wings'....tits must be brilliant. I do love tits. I love to see them wherever they are. They are so interesting aren't they.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 07 Dec 06 - 05:19 PM

Pairs of tits flying around, occasionally swooping to break the pond's mirror surface; what a wonderful image.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Dec 06 - 05:22 PM

It would be if my pond weren't totally coated in duckweed. Can't wait till we have a good hard frost - it''ll freeze and I can just pick the ice sheets off the pond, taking the duckweed with it!

Spent a wonderful afternoon a couple of years ago, watching the baby tits learning to fly from the bottom branch of the pittisporum to the edge of the pond... they seemed to be catching the mosquitoes hovering there too...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Dec 06 - 06:46 PM

Liz your tits are wonderful!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cluin
Date: 07 Dec 06 - 07:01 PM

That's what the Earl of Wessex said.

And look what happened to him.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Dec 06 - 07:08 PM

Who? - Oh I get it now...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Just Curious
Date: 07 Dec 06 - 08:22 PM

Lizzy,

Will your tits be ice skating on your pond when it freezes over?

I would hate to see your tits frozen

Just curious....

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 11:18 AM

Don't worry 'curious'... they are well insulated and are always tucked up firmly at night.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 11:25 AM

So far the cats haven't been at them either.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 11:34 AM

If your pussy and your tits get together you are suffering from gravitational pull.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 11:35 AM

Or else the Pilates has started to work!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Student 6
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 11:53 AM

Yes guest Just curious, they would be Blue Tits obviously.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 11:59 AM

With knobs on!
G

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 12:01 PM

Sorry, should be "Essex" below. Brain fart.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 12:02 PM

Are there tits with big yellow spots on them?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 12:02 PM

Above.

'nother brain fart.

(I was looking at the thread in descending order... ass-backwards again)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST, ...
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 12:24 PM

It's Liz who is from Wessex.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 12:55 PM

Sounds like my kind of earl.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Den
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 12:56 PM

I had to laugh the other week or so when the thread, "should a woman make the first move and I've got 3 sorts of tits!", appeared above one and other on the forum list. Well I thought it was funny.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 03:37 PM

Now Ms. Squeak (mice also squeak as vocalization) I peruse this thread ONLY as an attempt to add pertinent biological information to help keep this thread in a somewhat scientific vein.

Most female mice have 3.3333333333333333333333333333333333333… more tits than you. Their number is 10. Male mice do not usually have   nipples/

BTW, did you ever wonder why male horses do not have teats? Think about it. There simple is no anatomical space for them. The area is taken up by something else (usually 2 of them, of course unless they have been gelded and they still won't have them…I know Mudcatters. Some smart-alecky type would say something about that if I did not state a clarification).

Returning to this thread's relevancy:

Giok said: "With knobs on!"

That kind of titmouse would be a tufted titmouse, a correct ornithological appellation.

Who can tell us the mammalian species with the largest number of teats? (I don't want to give all the titillating information)

Now, please carry-on with your tits

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 07:34 PM

Its time the tits floated back to the surface.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Dec 06 - 08:43 PM

They call them chickadees around this neck of the woods. Because of their call, ostensibly.

But maybe our predecessors just didn't like calling them tits.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 09:10 AM

It's a pig, isn't it Cruiser?

I'll not say anything else on this thread, or else I'll be in trouble for making a tit of myself....

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 02:57 PM

Good guess Bunnahabhain (what kinda name is that anyway?!) but not the answer.

I would give the mammalian Order, but that would give the answer away. Think of a more exotic and less common animal species.

Thank for the Reply B. With replies like yours, we may change this thread towards a scientific endeavor and let the others have some bawdy fun along the way. I know you, like me, never opened this thread for other than purely scientific curiosity; correct? I bet you, also like me, do not read the non-scientific stuff either, huh? (Clears his throat again, for some inexplicable reason)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 06:39 PM

So you'd like to do a scientific paper on my tits?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 Dec 06 - 06:41 PM

If you don't mind the pen poking through the paper occasionally.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 03:01 AM

Although your tits have been out of sight Liz, they have not been out of mind. The Villan who resurrected the thread obviously wishes to offer them support.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 03:23 AM

I'll support anything including Aston Villa :-)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 09:38 AM

"So you'd like to do a scientific paper on my tits?"

Liz, Liz, Liz! I will need to get back with you on that one. The tears of laughter are preventing me from continuing at the moment...

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................."The Tracks of My Tears".....................................

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 12:23 PM

Okay, I think I have regained my, uh, composure..............................................................................Naw, I'll try again L8r.................................................................maybe...................................................................!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 04:23 PM

A good paper might put LIz' tits in proper perspective.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 04:24 PM

But I'm not sure a proper paper would put them in any better perspective.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 05:29 PM

Maybe they should have custard squirted all over them, then the custard can be licked off. perish the thought :-)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Pistachio
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 05:31 PM

Thanks, I've been laughing outloud and all because of titinvasions!
What a thread!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 05:47 PM

Well I hope you are going to behave yourself on Friday Pistachio :-)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 07:27 PM

I don't think my tits would like being covered in custard... they have enough trouble getting airbourne as it is. It's been very windy here recently and they're being blown all over the garden.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 07:35 PM

I don't remember ever seeing a bra used as a windsock but I suppose it would help your tits to make sure they took off into the wind.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Adrianel
Date: 13 Dec 06 - 08:14 PM

To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective,
"Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
"Has your east tit the least bit
"The best of the west tit,
"Or is it a trick of perspective?"

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 02:46 AM

Liz, there must be any number of ways of stopping your tits from suffering with the wind. Letting them blow all over the garden may be natural but with the right protection they could be supported in their everyday living situation.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 01:40 PM

If they are still hanging around please wish them a merry Christmas from me.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 02:16 PM

Nearly

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 02:16 PM

200

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 03:31 PM

No, this thread is about 3000s not 200s

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 05:47 PM

I have tried to plant shrubs that provide a sheltered and protective environment, but this summer's ban on hoses has meant they went without sustenance and consequently I've lost several of them. Their departure has left some bare nekkid patches which I'm hoping will be covered in the spring. The pittisporum and the butterfly bush have thrived though, as has the bay.

I am, however, having to consider trimming my bush down to fence height because it's just so unruly and starting to be a nuisance to the neighbours. Trouble is, the tits love it because it still gives good cover and it'll be ripe enough to eat the seeds soon.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 06:17 PM

>> am, however, having to consider trimming my bush down <<

Watch out for the stubble jumpers

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 10:11 PM

Liz the Squeak,

Have you considered waxing your BUSH? Please be careful because if you use hot wax and your tits should flit in it they could be injured; your tits will definitely Squeak! with pain.

Hot BUSH wax betwixt feathers and tits don't mix.   

Just one of those eternal truths in the Life of Birds.

BTW, of clinical significance, I have tried waxed BUSH and the unruly, nuisance variety you mention. My preference is definitely the former although the latter can be much riper, so better for your tits.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 11:54 AM

I really cannot get over you guys!!!!

Hope you're having as much fun bird watching as I am!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 01:10 PM

Lizzy,

What you have here is of bunch of men who are Bird Dogs (Men who steal another man's girlfriends (chicks) or dates; Remember the Everly Bros. song?)

Therefore, and as any bird hunter knows, Bird Dogs are known best for beating the BUSHES in search of game. Even though your tits are not considered small game animals and are protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act there are those bird dogs that are always searching for bird chicks like your tits.

So, teach your tits to not respond to any bird calls used by game bird hunters. The sound of the call will be similar the the Squeak of your tits when they vocalize with each other.

It would be devastating to see your tits shot down in their prime. Tit birdwatching would never be the same fun you mentioned having, without you and other Mudcatters watching your particular tits.

_____________________________________________________________________


"Hey, bird dog get away from my quail
Hey, bird dog you're on the wrong trail
Bird dog you better leave my lovey-dove alone
Hey, bird dog get away from my chick
Hey, bird dog you better get away quick
Bird dog you better find a chicken little of your own"

Everly Brothers

_____________________________________________________________________

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 02:16 PM

Take comfort in the fact Liz, that your tits have given pleasure to so many. Without all your imparted knowledge we would never have known all we now know about them.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 10:28 AM

I vote for LTS as the Mudcat Queen of Double-Entendre (or in this case Triple- Entendre).

You are good sport Lady.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Converted tit lover
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 12:18 PM

I have fallen in love with tits beacuse of my avid interest in this thread. LTS, your tits are an inspiration to us all. BJ

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 12:32 PM

Nothing more pleasing than to see a pair of tits at rest after a couple of nuts have been dealt with.
G

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 03:52 PM

Now durn it Giok, you are giving misleading information again by implying tits are nucivorous (nut-eating). All tit species of the genus Parus are frugivorous (fruit-eating) or gleaning insectivors.

Please get your tit-feeding habit facts straight. Liz's tit habits are misunderstood enough as they are without more misinformation.

Tit bills (beaks) did not evolve to eat nuts.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 04:43 PM

If tits eat nuts then beware!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 05:12 PM

A tit ate my peanut!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 05:33 PM

You can't beat the tits in the morning.



So get the milkman to cover the bottle tops when he delivers.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 05:35 PM

Once again Liz..I have to admire your tits..they have really caused a stir on here.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 05:39 PM

I do not know about that GUEST. I have heard a lot of salacious stories about milkmen so I'm sure that have, in the morning....

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 08:33 PM

Liz, I'm surprised you find us hard to "get over"; we're avid bird watchers and your tits aren't the only ones we've been on about. I'm no twitcher, although I've seen lots of sights that had me twitching.

Wandering albatross cresting Southern Ocean rollers are a sight to make anyone twitch; occasionally a wing feather will ruffle into the airflow over the wing; beautiful! I've even held a Wilson's Storm Petrel in the palm of my hand, although Great Petrels lumbering over the ice with too much seal carrion aboard tend to be a bit offputting. I've listened to lyrebirds imitate chainsaws, focal plane shutters of cameras, dogs barking and multitudes of other birds. I've never heard the one that imitated the flautist practising Mozart, nor seen the visual display but it still made me twitch a bit. I've seen great flocks of galahs (even imitated one occasionally) and pelicans where they nest; wonderful.

So I hope I've come across as one who's paid proper respect for your tits and their behaviour. I wouldn't wish to be misinterpreted about them.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 12:36 AM

Ah Rowan, I know what you mean... a walk in my native habitat not so long ago, gave me the sight of a family group of buzzards, just wheeling along, enjoying the updraughts coming off the hill. They barely flapped, yet achieved amazing altitudes and spiralled off out over the plain (or west Dorset as we call it) and vanished into the bluest sky I've ever seen in the northern hemisphere. Truly a stunning sight.

By the way... someone better tell my tits that they don't eat nuts. There were three blue ones hanging off the nut bag yesterday.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 05:12 AM

I used to know a girl with bearded tits in her garden.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 05:18 AM

I've got three sorts of balls but I'm not shouting about it.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: autolycus
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 06:13 AM

Pedant alert. By my reckoning, Zebras are 25 times
bigger than A bra, not 26. Sorry I'm late,it's a long
way from Tipperary. (I feel a right titter. Coming on.)






       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 02:20 PM

>>I've got three sorts of balls but I'm not shouting about it. <<

Are any of them blue?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:10 PM

One of them, yes!

The other two are great.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:12 PM

Can you swing 'em to and fro, can you tie them up in ribbon, can you tie them in a bow?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:16 PM

I don't know but I could give it a try.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:52 PM

Are the other two Blue Bells?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cluin
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 10:02 AM

More attention should be given to great tits.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 10:30 AM

Dolly Parton has the greatest hits

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rasener
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 10:48 AM

Have you got any knockers on your door georgiansilver?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cluin
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 10:56 AM

So did Ernest Tubb

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 11:40 AM

Yes Villan..so many friends and they all knock.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Cruiser
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 10:46 AM

About time for another "tit fix".

No, not a boob job, plastic surgery type you guys! Gee whiz! I am talkin' about an update on Lizzie's tits. Those little buggers must be getting cold this time of year and must be fluffin' their feathers up.

How about it Lizzy, how are your tits?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 12:10 PM

Please don't forget to give your tits some extra treats at Christmas Liz.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 05:15 PM

I've planned to sneak some of the beef fat out to them when it's cooled a bit... the blackbird will like that too. They're not forgotten - bought them a new nut bag.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 11:11 PM

Liz, now that spring is on its way, has it warmed up enough for your tits to make an appearance?

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 02:49 AM

I thought you had stopped playing with your tits...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 04:05 AM

My tits have never been in hiding, they've been out all winter long!

Gave them some more sunflower seeds at the weekend, they love me again.

Seems my tits don't like nuts.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 04:18 AM

anaphylactit ?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 08:10 AM

We've got long tailed tits this year, along with the usual blue and great varieties.

Talking of things like this, we put out some new bird feeders this winter, and found that peanuts and fat balls are popular, but the assorted seeds seem to be unpopular. Any idea what sort of birds eat the seeds? They seem to be a mixture of sunflower seeds, hemp* seeds, grass seeds etc.
* no, not that sort of hemp

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 10:46 AM

It's probably a survival issue and depends on the seeds locally available. If your tits don't recognise a seed, they like as not won't eat it. They also learn to recognise the feeder. The one I have at the moment is bright yellow and they'll eat out of it. I swapped it for a red one and they won't touch it, even though it was full of the same seeds and hanging in the same place.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,ib48
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 11:23 AM

my ideal woman,can we meet please?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 11:25 AM

Birds are clever creatures, but sometimes we are amused when we do things that seem to confuse them (not on purpose of course!)

The other day we moved a feeder that has a cakes of fat in it (we got it from the RSPB) from one place to another, as I put up a bird nesting box which would have been too close to it.

A couple of starlings that had got used to feeding from it, kept coming back to where it was, and looking around puzzled, wondering where it had gone. I hope they managed to find it eventually, but I didn't hang around long enough to find out.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 03:11 AM

Ah, Starlings... To my mind, they're the Red Setters of the bird world ~ lots of enthusiasm but not a great deal of brain.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 05:39 AM

Must be why they're one of my favourite birds Liz.
G

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 09:54 AM

Your tits have appeared again Liz..bit like the phoenix eh? people obviously have a lot of affection for your tits.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 10:01 AM

There seems to be some confusion on this thread between the feathered variety of tit, and what Lady Whiteadder would euphemistically call "Devil's Dumplings".

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 10:39 AM

Where's the confusion Scrump? Tits are beautiful in all varieties, shapes and sizes.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 04:15 PM

And I'm sure starlings find each other attractive at appropriate moments. Thankfully I'm not one of them.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 05:07 AM

They've been enjoying the sunny and mild weather we have today. It's been a while since I saw all three, but the blue and coal varieties are still around.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 07:29 AM

Where's the confusion Scrump? Tits are beautiful in all varieties, shapes and sizes

Their beauty is not in question GS. But nonetheless confusion can be caused by a remark such as "There's a pair of great tits in the garden next door", as our local vicar can testify.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 07:31 AM

Female Vicar I assume?

G

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 08:23 PM

Fron Dibley?

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 12:04 PM

Speaking of tits, I noticed we have what appears to be a mad blue-tit in our garden. It exhibits strange but entertaining behaviour. We have a climbing rose plant that goes along the wall above our back window, and there's a piece of string hanging down where we tied it up to a wire. This bird likes to swing from this 'rope', then onto a nearby twig, back on the rope, etc., then it goes across to the next window and sits on the windowsill, tapping the glass with its beak as if it wants to come in. It does other odd things too (at least, I've never seen one do these things before). It's very amusing to watch.

I just wondered if anyone else has seen a bird behaving like this, or seen any other odd behaviour from birds?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 01:55 PM

It's mating season and he thinks he has a rival... he's showing off to tell the rival (his reflection) and other tits how agile and great he is at finding food.

Tits are happy swinging, unlike other birds who prefer a good stiff perch.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Schantieman
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 03:12 PM

So these two blue tits are sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Can you smell fish?"



now...where did I put that coat....?

S

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 04:44 PM

"So these two blue tits are sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Can you smell fish?""

Not furlong!

Sorry

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 05:41 PM

Was the perch caught with a rod, or a pole?
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 01:39 AM

My tits have a new friend!


A chaffinch appeared fleetingly yesterday! He's a lovely rosy pink and grey but I suspect he's just passing through on the way to one of the parks, to find a mate.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 02:37 AM

See your tits have found support yet again Liz. If the finch is rosy pink he could well be a Bullfinch rather than chaffinch.....lovely birds the finches...I also love to see pied wagtails around at this time with their tails bobbing up and down....favourite bird however is the Lapwing with its clever aerobatics.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 06:14 AM

Talking of aerobatics, we once - and only once, sadly - saw a flycatcher in our garden (a spotted flycatcher, IIRC). We were sitting out the back one evening and saw this small brown bird (unremarkable in appearance) doing these amazing aerobatic stunts and then landing on the fence. Then off it would go again. Not having seen one before (or since!) we didn't know what it was at first, but then we realised it was catching insects and worked it out.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 06:17 AM

The male chaffinch in the breeding season develops a very rosy chest in deed, it is is quite likely that Liz is correct. They are the most common bird in our garden in the winter, when we sometimes get as many as 50/60 at a time feeding on and around our bird tables.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 08:00 AM

Bullfinches have a black rather than grey head, so it sounds from the description as if it's more likely to be a chaffinch.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 08:13 AM

Male Chaffinch
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 10:16 AM

Oh yeah? Well here's a Bullfinch.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 10:29 AM

I'll see your Bullfinch, and raise you a Shag

¦¬]


G

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 10:37 AM

LOL, I had the same idea when I posted the Bullfinch link Giok :-)

(But - ooerr! "raise you a shag" sounds a bit dodgy! :-))

Shag? That's tobacco, isn't it - so is this: Ahhh... Condor!

(Can you still get that? I remember it being advertised on telly!)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 10:52 AM

It had a green ass, it was a chaffinch.

Either that or it was a bullfinch with some personal hygiene issues.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 04:43 AM

It's been a lovely sunny weekend here, today is also clear, bright and warm. My tits have been out enjoying the sunshine and have indulged in some quite spectacular stunts. I suspect they're showing off as it's mating season now.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 05:37 AM

What sort of spectacular stunts have your tits been performing Liz? Nice when its warm and they can be out eh?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 06:20 AM

Yes, nice to see the tits out in the sun, swinging freely in the breeze. Quick - the smelling salts! That lady in the third row has just fainted!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 09:24 AM

They've mainly been hanging (literally) around the feeder, bouncing along the top of the arch like Springheel Jack, flashing their bottoms and generally showing off.

They're busy doing things in the butterfly bush now.. I don't think we need persue that particular activity.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Cruz
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 09:43 AM

You people are just too much. Scrump, that was funny.

Lizzie, you make worn-out old men dizzy with speculations about your tits.

And, as if you thought your last comment would not take-off into yet another string of double entendres.

Lady, you are something else. Thanks for the "blue" laughter.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 11:12 AM

Guest Cruz...you only have to look at the length of the thread to see how popular Lizs tits have become...almost an institution now!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 12:06 PM

yet another string of double entendres

Double entendres - nudge, nudge! Like it, squire, like it!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 02:02 PM

Stop tittering Scrump!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 04:33 PM

Scrump made a booby with that comment!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 04:53 PM

I hope the booby that Scrump made gave as much pleasure as Liz' tits.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 02:56 AM

277 posts or 278 including this one and I kept abreast of them all. I'll read every one or bust!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 03:19 AM

Thanks guys, my tits enjoy your support!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: jimlad9
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 03:34 AM

Someone please tell me which institution Liz's tits have been put into. Me and the lads will organise a coach trip.

Liz luv,please keep up the good work you help to improve the moralee of us catters and go some way to curing the MALLARDY,gerrit?, that affects us all. You have plenty to CROW about,gerrit?,and your RAVEN stops us PHEASANTS GROUSING, oh sod it !,I can't think of any
more POULTRY attempts at comedy

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 03:46 AM

You finched that one up didn't you!

Stop ducking the issue, quit your puffin and just say it...

My tits are fabulous! Trouble is, they move too fast for this crappy camera to get a decent picture. By the time I've focused, they've gathered up their nuts and found another bush.

Ornithology has made a big difference in my days. : )

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 11:08 AM

Bah! I missed all the punning and can't think of any more. No missus... titter ye not... now simmer down, we've had bags of fun talking about those birds whose name I dare not speak.

Us ornithog... ornithlo... orno... us bird watchers have always had our knockers. What?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 11:22 AM

Liz, have you had many 'Twitchers' around your garden trying to get a glimpse of your tits?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: jimlad9
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 12:17 PM

Liz

My 20 year old,40-22-36 neighbour says she had a Shag when she went on the beach some Bustards have all the luck.

C'mon Scrump,you can't let this one pass can you/.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 12:22 PM

She woodcock for a lark, she needs a kick up the chough I think.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 04:39 PM

D'you reckon Liz might be a bower bird?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 05:10 PM

Certainly not 'shy talk' this is it? Think I might have a can or two of Kestrel but I won't crow about it or you'll all think I've gone cuckoo. That should give you something to owl about!

Incidentally...what is the most common owl in the UK?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 05:12 PM

Is it the brown owl? Is it the snowy owl? Is it the barn owl? Which is it?.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 05:16 AM

The tawny owl?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 05:26 AM

Sorry Scrump...it's the 'TEAT' and they are exceptionally common.....

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 07:13 AM

My turn to take an interest in Liz's tits....

A good start to the day at Dobro Towers: great, blue and long-tailed (puddeny-pokes in this neck of the woods) all waiting for the starlings to finish at the suet balls.

Serious question: where an overflow pipe was removed from the house, there's a small hole halfway up the wall. I've seen blue tits flying up to it and going in, but so far, I haven't seen one coming out. Do you experts know if a blue tit can turn round in such a confined space, or is there an ever-mounting heap of late, deceased, bereft of life blue tits inside the cavity wall? I 'd like to block the hole up to avoid this rather worrying possibility, but would hate to think I'd done so while there's one or two still inside.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: jimlad9
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 08:54 AM

Georgiansilver Re Teats

GGGRROOOAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!, GGGRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!
BLOODY GROAN !!

You should go on the stage,the next one leaves in 2 hours !!

Jim

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:53 AM

Serious question: where an overflow pipe was removed from the house, there's a small hole halfway up the wall. I've seen blue tits flying up to it and going in, but so far, I haven't seen one coming out. Do you experts know if a blue tit can turn round in such a confined space, or is there an ever-mounting heap of late, deceased, bereft of life blue tits inside the cavity wall? I 'd like to block the hole up to avoid this rather worrying possibility, but would hate to think I'd done so while there's one or two still inside.

If you wait till the summer you'll probably be safe to do it, but any bereft tits in your cavity (ooerr, missus!) will be difficult to remove. Good idea to block it up anyway, in case you get bees or wasps nesting in there.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 12:03 PM

Thanks Jimlad...nice to be appreciated...

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: jimlad9
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 02:17 PM

Georgiansilver.

Whatwould you know about being appreciated?,I have heard that when you went out to work your Mum wrapped your lunch in a Road Map

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 02:33 PM

Awww Jim....and I still got lost.....I loved Geography at school but could never find the classroom. Sad eh?

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 04:33 PM

Rusty,
from south of the equator I'm not sure of the exact timing of the breeding season of your tits so my suggestion might have to wait until any nestlings have flown. A bit of smoke blown into the hole will cause most birds/rodents/etc to vacate the premises rapidly, if they can do so. A bit of burning rubber smoke increases the effect while still staying humane. Deserted eggs won't smell much but you might still want to wait until after the season. The smoke can be blown along a length of tube so that it doesn't represent a barrier between where they are and the exit.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:10 PM

They probably sneak out when you're not paying attention.. tits often do. Look at Janet Jacksons!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:31 PM

Yesterday morning I had two fairly large pigeons trying to land in my butterfly bush... they flapped off rapidly after discovering that their combined weight pushed the branch down just far enough to be within reach of the coiled, furry black spring that was the Raven pussy, just waiting for the perfect breakfast.

They'd been too busy courting to notice him before... He can be a sneaky little pussy when he wants. He's decided that it is his reason d'etre to catch, kill and eat one of the racing pigeons that regularly fly over the house. He'll sit in the front window with his little black nose squashed up to the glass, his back end twitching like a very twitchy thing and make the oddest collection of noises that I suppose in cat language mean something like 'I've got some fava beans and a nice chianti all ready for you'...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:31 PM

Oh,.....


300!!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 02:31 AM

'The Silence of the Pigeons' doesn't quite have the ring of lambs but fires the imaginationion none the less. Hope the subject is not changing from tits to pussies though!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Scrump
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 11:47 AM

Oh Gawd, I can't help being reminded of Mrs Slocombe now, thanks to LTS talking about her pussy.

Look at Janet Jacksons!

Where?!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Cruz
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 01:58 PM

Well Georgiansilver that must make to a "tit man" and not a...leg man!

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 04:11 PM

Guest Cruz........I am also a leg man......

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 04:45 PM

"Look at Janet Jacksons!"

I wasn't there but I'm told the escape was not unassisted; someone had a hand in it.

There's a wonderful Australian bird that comes to mind whenever I hear about Janet Jackson;

"Spangled Drongo"

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 02:23 PM

Gravity was obviously pulling the 'tits' thread downward as it nearly dropped off the end again. So I thought I would resurrect it...give it a little more support so to speak.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 01:21 AM

You saying my tits need a helping hand to stay up?

The pigeons are slowly stripping my bush of twigs for a nest. They're quite nice looking, country pigeons, properly coloured and not all scabby and putrid looking.

Still hate the buggers though!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 05:44 AM

Have you given your tits names Liz........just a few suggestions......Cross-your-heart.....Playtex....Living.......M+S.....
Sloggi.....Wonder.....

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: jimlad9
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 05:53 AM

Look at the lovely Liz's photo.

She would need Two Buckets and a Yard of Rope to halt the gravity effects on her brood.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 05:15 PM

We're talking children's seaside buckets rather than the 2 gallon jobbies.

The yard of rope... yeah, well, that's probably about right.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 06:15 PM

Jimlad...that was a bit above the belt (or should it be below?)

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 09:03 PM

I really believe that we should support tits in any way we can, whether they belong to Liz or anyone else...lets hold them high...lets support them....let's keep tits in their place whatever it takes. Tits are real...tits are wonderful... we all love tits so let's give them the support they deserve. Liz, your thread is a delight and your tits are the best I have come upon.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 09:22 PM

A little while ago I noticed there was some support for Liz's tits - in these threads:

I've got 3 sorts of tits! / Silent Santa support group

I posted the combination on the Thread Name Game thread and when I came back they had moved apart - as tits tend to do if you don't give them plenty of support, I suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Tit supporter
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 10:12 PM

Jenny O if you wish to bring your tits together, please ask for my help

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: frogprince
Date: 25 Jun 09 - 10:12 PM

We have some planters with strawberries on the patio. We've been getting some nice sweet berries. But I looked out yesterday, and a robin was sticking his little pecker in one.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Jun 09 - 10:31 PM

So ya got 3 sorts of tits, huh, Liz? Just noticed yer thread.    Look...don't feel bad. They often ain't exactly the same size or shape on a lotta broads, and it ain't no big deal. Most guys will not even notice the difference. Learn to love what ya got, I say.

On the other hand, I'm thinkin' that the third one would throw some people a little off... It could be a problem.

What I would suggest is...pick out the one among the three that is least...um..."desirable" I guess would be the word...and get it surgically removed. Pick a real good sawbones so the operation don't leave a scar.

I know a guy in Chicago who does that sort of thing. He's good and his rates are cheap. Call me.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 25 Jun 09 - 11:05 PM

I think Liz relishes all her tits and wouldn't even think of having any excised.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Jun 09 - 02:41 AM

Lizs' tits are a legend ..... nice to see them perk up on this thread again. They will always have my strong support.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Jun 09 - 03:31 AM

Tbey've been active again recently... the coal tits fledged about 3 weeks ago and I'm pretty sure they're onto their second brood. The blue tit is looking less frazzled so I suspect his brood have also flown the nest and he's just replenishing his energy now that the coal tits have left the fat pecker. They still feed there but not so frenetically so the Blue has a chance to stock up before being harangued from the bay tree. They actually pecked him off when they were feeding young. Haven't seen the great tits for a while, I think they've found another feeder down the road.

Meanwhile, the neighbours over the fence have uprooted several shrubs that were along our fence, so there is a distinct lack of cover there now... so our feathered friends may find nest sites a little lacking next spring. I've no intention of trimming any more of my trees and bushes, so they're always welcome on my side of the fence.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 11:16 AM

Only in American could we have something called the "Bushtit," I kid you not!

Check it out: clickety. Here's the info on it, from This Guy's Newsletter:


"Crowd" doesn't sound right for a gathering of birds
but it's the best one I can think of to describe a
bunch of foraging Bushtits. Nearly always Bushtits are
seen drifting across the landscape in hyperactive,
profoundly social groups of a dozen or more birds,
foraging for spiders and small insects. The word
"flock" is inadequate for evoking their nervous
energy. "Swarm" almost gets it but that word implies a
larger number. "Mob" implies a threat but there's
nothing threatening about these teeny, plain-looking
little birds so easily identified by their very long
tails and very short beaks. Even with such lengthy
tails the birds reach only 3½-inches long (9 cm), so
they're much smaller than a chickadee. As they fly
about orbiting one another they softly, plaintively
keep in touch calling a high, thin, fussing tsit-tsit-
tsit...

Bushtits are the only North American member of their
family, the Long-tailed Tit Family, or Aegithalidae,
the other twelve members of the family being Eurasian.
Our Bushtits are also the only species in their genus
Psaltriparus.

Bushtits are found in open woodlands, scrubby areas
and even suburban shrubbery, from Vancouver, British
Columbia south through much of the western US to
Guatemala.

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 07:02 PM

The word "flock" is inadequate for evoking their nervous energy. "Swarm" almost gets it but that word implies a larger number. "Mob" implies a threat but there's nothing threatening about these teeny, plain-looking little birds so easily identified by their very long tails and very short beaks.

Yet another example of different cultures having different connotations to the one word.

In Oz, "mob" doesn't usually carry the sense of threat implied in Kat's piece, especially away from cities. It's the collective noun for a bunch of macropods, particularly kangaroos, and older bush-bred Aborigines are likely to use it for any number (of anything) that is greater than 5. A much larger number of things in one or more groups is likely to be described as "big mobs", even by Balandas in the Top End.

Personally, I reckon I'd like to see Liz' tits in big mobs.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 11:31 PM

Cheers, Rowan. With your permission, I will send on your comments to Jim. He is an amazing person who travels and lives in the most remote places of the Americas, but I don't think he's ever been to OZ and I know he always appreciates comments and more knowledge. Thanks!

kat

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Rowan
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 01:10 AM

Feel free, kat.

Anything I post on Mudcat is free to anybody, as far as I'm concerned; all I ask is that appropriate acknowledgement (to both Mudcat and myself) is given when it is used.

And I'm sorry I couldn't contribute anything useful about CryBaby in response to your request; I'd never even heard of it.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 12:04 PM

Thought this bit of science news might hit the spot:

aromatherapy and blue tits

~ Becky & Michael (astro) in Long Beach

Subject: RE: BS: I've got 3 sorts of tits!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 02:39 PM

That is so interesting... Mint and Lavender is good for tits!....... great