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BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa

GUEST,MM 16 Nov 06 - 10:08 PM
catspaw49 16 Nov 06 - 10:36 PM
JennyO 16 Nov 06 - 11:33 PM
MBSLynne 17 Nov 06 - 03:06 AM
My guru always said 17 Nov 06 - 03:48 AM
Sorcha 17 Nov 06 - 09:16 AM
Paul Burke 17 Nov 06 - 09:21 AM
Peace 17 Nov 06 - 11:06 AM
Emma B 17 Nov 06 - 11:09 AM
Peace 17 Nov 06 - 11:15 AM
Rapparee 17 Nov 06 - 11:36 AM
bobad 17 Nov 06 - 11:47 AM
Mr Happy 17 Nov 06 - 11:58 AM
Paul Burke 17 Nov 06 - 12:10 PM
JohnInKansas 17 Nov 06 - 12:52 PM
gnu 17 Nov 06 - 01:33 PM
Morticia 17 Nov 06 - 03:23 PM
Bill D 17 Nov 06 - 04:28 PM
Bill D 17 Nov 06 - 04:31 PM
Herga Kitty 17 Nov 06 - 04:42 PM
GUEST,mg 17 Nov 06 - 04:45 PM
gnu 17 Nov 06 - 05:17 PM
artbrooks 17 Nov 06 - 05:56 PM
pattyClink 17 Nov 06 - 09:52 PM
JennyO 17 Nov 06 - 10:59 PM
Elmer Fudd 18 Nov 06 - 02:04 AM
GUEST 18 Nov 06 - 02:09 AM
Elmer Fudd 18 Nov 06 - 02:12 AM
JohnInKansas 18 Nov 06 - 02:16 AM
Peace 18 Nov 06 - 02:24 AM
JohnInKansas 18 Nov 06 - 06:22 AM
The Fooles Troupe 18 Nov 06 - 07:15 AM
pattyClink 18 Nov 06 - 07:48 PM
Donuel 18 Nov 06 - 08:05 PM
The Fooles Troupe 18 Nov 06 - 08:16 PM
Severn 18 Nov 06 - 08:27 PM
Liz the Squeak 23 Nov 06 - 10:55 AM
Alice 23 Nov 06 - 11:09 AM
Emma B 23 Nov 06 - 12:14 PM
Alice 23 Nov 06 - 02:51 PM
Liz the Squeak 23 Nov 06 - 06:19 PM
pattyClink 24 Nov 06 - 03:55 PM
JohnInKansas 25 Nov 06 - 01:02 AM
GUEST 25 Nov 06 - 11:32 PM
GUEST,Finnish history teacher. 05 Dec 06 - 01:33 AM
The Fooles Troupe 05 Dec 06 - 07:32 AM
Liz the Squeak 05 Dec 06 - 07:44 AM
JennyO 05 Dec 06 - 11:15 AM
SINSULL 05 Dec 06 - 11:20 AM
GUEST 05 Dec 06 - 06:10 PM
Rapparee 05 Dec 06 - 06:30 PM
JennyO 05 Dec 06 - 09:20 PM

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Subject: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: GUEST,MM
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 10:08 PM

Scroll down to find the Cletus holiday cards.

Coming out against the Secret Santa army is a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. Consider this thread your Anti-Santa Support group.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 10:36 PM

I want to let you all know that our own Cletus, Cletus Hardinger, has nothing to do with this. Cletus actually still believes in Santa and if he can sell of the Vegemite he bought on a speculation deal, he'll be back here among us real soon. Cletus has always loved Christmas and indeed it was around Christmas when I first met him.......and Paw and Buford as well. Geez, it seems like just yesterday.............

I had noticed an area on Rt. 664 just outside of our little village being carefully prepared and roped off as I drove by and every now and then there were these three guys working there, building a little shed and driving stakes into the ground about 6 feet apart. It finally dawned on me that they were getting ready to sell Christmas trees. Now I have always gotten ours from the same place for years, but the prices were getting pretty steep so I kept an eye out for new sources. The day they put up the lights, I stopped to see when they'd be bringing the trees in.

As I got out of the van I couldn't help but notice that these three, from all appearances, were a bit "down on their luck" and it made me want to help them out a bit. Cletus came up to me and introduced himself and I asked about the trees. He was glad to tell me all about them in that way which I've since learned to interpret. At that time however all I could seem to understand was that they were "working on them." These many years later, that kind of phrase would set off alarms, but I didn't know Cletus then so I thought it was just an odd hilljack way of phrasing things. Paw came over and I liked the old guy a lot right away. He said he'd seen me before and I remembered something about the sewage plant and the day it exploded. I couldn't place what it was that this guy had to do with it but the correlation seemed quite vivid. I shook his hand and he farted in return.

I had never met anyone who was quite so casual with flatulence. Paw used it almost as punctuation......."How ya' doin'?" (rriippp) "Purty day ain't she?" (bbraawwmmpp)..........Let's say it took some getting used to and made it easy to understand why this old coot could probably not find gainful employment. But for all that, he was a friendly cuss who told me they called him Paw because he was from Paw-Paw, West Virginia. He pointed out the other fellow named Buford who was involved in extricating himself from a string of Christmas lights that seemed to have attacked him. Even from a distance, the unmistakable smell of Iron City brew was pretty strong. I figured he spilled about the same amount on himself as he drank and I later found this to be not only true, but the amounts involved were prodigious.

All in all, I couldn't help but like them even if they were, well, let's just call them odd and drop it right there. They told me the trees would be in and they'd be open for business on Friday at 6 PM. I left shaking my head at the idea of bringing Karen and the kids to "pick out the tree" as was so traditional with our family. What the hell? We could at least check them out.

On Friday afternoon Karen and I were going into Lancaster and as we passed by I pointed out the place, not that it was really necessary to point. I'd never seen anything quite so garish in my life but it was one of those gray Ohio days, very cold and occasionally spitting snow so perhaps it was the contrast......perhaps not. Karen was making comments about the place, but as we drove past we could both see the trees that were now in place quite well. Surprisingly enough, they looked magnificent! All were very full and perfectly shaped and a greener bunch of Christmas trees I'd never seen. Even at 65 mph, Karen saw one on the far end of the first row that she said was absolutely "the one!" Since she and our kids were going to spend the night with Connie and go shopping on Saturday, I promised her I'd stop back and get the tree and forget the tradition for one year.

So on my return trip I looked at my watch and saw that I'd arrive about the time Cletus told me they would open and sure enough, I was the first one there. Cletus, Paw, and Buford, greeted me as a long lost friend. They were really in the Christmas Spirit and offered me some of their "spirits." Friends, there is 'Shine and then there is 'Shine and whatever it was they had in the Mason jars was not. I found out later that this was a homebrew of their own and made not from corn, but soybeans instead, and distilled through an old radiator off a Mack. Luckily I only tasted it, but that single gulp went down like a 4-stage rocket, taking my breath away, and immediately starting to bore a hole in my stomach. After the coughing subsided I gave them the common courtesy line you use upon tasting any 'Shine..........."Smooth!"

They were all adorned themselves with some of the seediest Santa hats I had ever seen and were ready for business. They said I was the first customer and I nodded appreciatively while glancing about at the trees. Even up at a closer viewing they seemed almost perfectly formed and beautifully green and I thought the light snow must be the reason they glistened so under the glaring bulbs. It was dark now and the temperature had dropped to about 25 with a nasty northwesterly blowing in a chill from Alberta. My eyes were no longer crossed from the 'Shine and I slowly became aware that something was odd about the trees. They weren't moving at all. Not a branch, not a needle, absolutely nothing was moving although the breeze was pretty stiff. Paw commented on the weather and let fly an air biscuit as I walked over to the tree Karen had seen earlier. I reached out to touch it and it was positively stiff!

I felt several branches and the whole thing down to the smallest needle was like glass. I put a little extra pressure on a needle and it shattered in my gloved hand. What the hell was this anyway? Cletus came up and asked how I liked them as Paw and Buford tossed wood in a barrel to start a warming fire. I said I thought these were real trees, but they seemed to be artificial. Cletus protested they were real.......and recycled. Once in awhile you hear sommething that is so completely ridiculous that it takes some time before you can absorb the fact that the speaker is completely serious. Recycled Christmas trees. My mind was slowly opening to the sound of Cletus' voice proudly telling the tale of how they collected them last year and then formed them up, glued in branches with rubber cement, gave them several coats of shellac, painted them with spray cans of "Yew Be Green" epoxy, and topped the job off with several coats of lacquer.

I stared at the tree. I stared at Cletus. I stared at the tree. I stared at Cletus. I stared at the tree. I stared at Cletus. Cletus noticed I was a bit pale and pulled me by the arm over to the shed where Paw and Buford had finished filling the barrel and were dumping gasoline onto the contents. Cletus said that I should have another drink and then Paw asked if I was cold. I nodded vacantly, my mind still unable to absorb the insanity which surrounded me. Then I heard Cletus say, "Hey Paw, show him how we light a fire."

With that, Paw bent over pointing his butt at the barrel, Buford held a Zippo to his ass, and Paw ripped a monster of a fart, something akin to a Cherry Bomb in it's magnitude. An enormous flame shot out of his ass and ignited the barrel which flared high in the air. But it was a truly huge blaster and the flames not only ignited the barrel, but the nearest recycled Christmas trees. Coated as they were with such a combustible mixture, they didn't catch fire, they friggin' exploded! Bits of flaming plastic-like shards went flying away on the wind to explode the next tree, and the next, and the next. Within 30 seconds the remnants of every tree was flaming brightly and in less than a minute the flames were gone and 50 smoldering sticks were all that remained. None of us had moved and Paw was still bent over and looking over his shoulder at the charred remains of their business.

The next day when I picked Karen up, we stopped at our usual place and picked out a lovely Frazier Fir. I had told her the story and that I figured that here was a case where a single fart may not have saved the world, but at least did save 50 home fires. We stopped at their place and the boys were cleaning up the mess and told us it probably meant a Christmas that would be a little bleak for them. Karen is a kind soul and right then and there invited them to our place for Christmas Day. She said they should come early and maybe Santa will have left something for them and that they would be welcome for Christmas dinner too. As we drove home I tried to explain that this probably wasn't a great idea but Karen felt pretty bad for them and they had cheerfully accepted her invitation.

On Christmas morning they arrived at 6 AM and the day went downhill from there. But that's another story.

So friends, no matter how bad it is and how you feel, there is always a friend out there for you. Even if you're obnoxious, nasty, and haven't bathed in a month, there is always the chance that if you can light a good fart, miracles will occur. And remember, every time you hear a Zippo light up, an angel gets his wings.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JennyO
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 11:33 PM

Oh goody, a site to keep John happy! He hates Christmas, and does not take kindly to being compared to Santa Claus, even though he does look like him.

You be the judge!

If I point him towards this site, maybe it will keep him busy while I get on with ho ho ho-ing and enjoying my Christmas.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: MBSLynne
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 03:06 AM

Yep...that's Santa alright!

I LIKE Father Christmas. I just hate having the whole thing shoved down my throat (perhaps I should re-phrase that?) from the middle of October. By the time it gets here it's an anti-climax

Love Lynne


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: My guru always said
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 03:48 AM

Oh, thanks 'spaw, I'd been wanting to read that again!


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 09:16 AM

Bah HUMBUG!


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Paul Burke
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 09:21 AM

Oh Anti-Santa gained the day
Hurray, Anti-Santa
General Taylor run away
All on the plains of Mexico


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:06 AM

Christmas me arse. Humbug.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Emma B
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:09 AM

Slainté Peace


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:15 AM

Found this on the web. It's about time, IMO.

"Christmas downsizing

Today's global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:

The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance.

The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated.

The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French.

The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked.

The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks appear to be in order.

The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.

The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. Their function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and therefore enhance their outplacement.

As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.

Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.

Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords plus the expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year.

Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cut back on new music and no uniforms will produce savings which will drop right down to the bottom line.

We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and other expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen lawyers-a-suing"), action is pending.

Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to stay competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number."


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:36 AM

Jingle bells, mortar shells,
Charlie in the grass.
Take your Merry Christmas
And stick it up you................

(Old Vietnam Christmas Carol)


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: bobad
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:47 AM

Consumer Wonderland

(To the tune of Winter Wonderland, lyrics by Erica Avery)

The TV's on / are you watching?
Another product / that they're hawking
one more thing you need
to make life complete
Welcome to Consumer Wonderland

In the stores / you will hear it
"Pricey gifts / show holiday spirit"
That's what they call it
to get to your wallet
Welcome to Consumer Wonderland

At the mall we can go out shopping
and buy lots of stuff we can't afford
we'll have lots of fun with our new toys
until we realize that we're still bored
When you shop / ain't it thrilling
until / you get the billing
the money you still owe the stuff broke long ago
Welcome to Consumer Wonderland


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Mr Happy
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:58 AM

........and away with Santie
My dear auntie
O you nude York girls
Can't you poke the dancer!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Paul Burke
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 12:10 PM

Is that the one with the lines

"She kissed me hardon proper
Afore her flashman came"?


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 12:52 PM

In the (anti) spirit of the holidays, someone must offer the famous US Fire Administration Christmas Tree Movie.

The link goes to a page where you may choose any of four different formats for the very brief movie.

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 01:33 PM

Kissmeass shopping season is in full swing here. Like ants on a worm. I get Claustaphobia just thinking about having to go shopping. I was thinking I might just get everyone a gift certificate from the Royal Canadian Mint... the one with the picture of Liz on it. It's the same as spending twice as much before Kissmeass on stuff they don't really need anyway.

I look like Santa, too. Well, when I wear a red hat.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Morticia
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 03:23 PM

You have the Squeak on your money?


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 04:28 PM

A Christmas Carol

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly,
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say "when."
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens,
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore,
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expense'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
"Just the thing I need! How nice!"
It doesn't matter how sincere it
Is, nor how heartfelt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.

Hark the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry, merchants,
May you make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and buy!

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.

Tom Lehrer


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 04:31 PM

Christmas 'could' be a very happy, nice time...and some folks still manages to make it so, but since we have gotten to the point that our very economy depends on it, it has a real image problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 04:42 PM

I followed Jenny O's link, and that's definitely Jack Halyard. No red hat or ho-ho-ho....

Plus, of course, he did nick a carol tune for Bring out the Banners....

Kitty


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 04:45 PM

Oh dear. I love Christmas but I get really grouchy over having to do THanksgiving just a month before. I want an inner anti-pumpkin pie. mg


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 05:17 PM

Morty...: "You have the Squeak on your money?" Ah, ask Phil if she squeaks. Unless... oh... of course, I see. Confusion with OUR Liz. Well, I could have called her Beth or Betty (she abhors "Betty"... I think it's the Flinstones thing), or, as I really know her, Number Two, but, she prefers "Liz", amongst friends. For the rest of you commoners, it's "Her Royal Majesty, Queen and Protector of The Realm, Guardian of The Flag." Bow and be silent.

PS... That fuckin Phil guy, eh? What a job. Like, how do you luck into that? Jump Betty, get another chest medal? Sweet Jaysus.... great work if you can get it, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: artbrooks
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 05:56 PM

As a traditionalist, I decline to consider christmas or any related things or people until after Thanksgiving Day.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: pattyClink
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 09:52 PM

thanks for the flick, JiK. Astounding speed.

we have a lovely little new coffeehouse nearby, nice cool people, what a great contrast from the chain store junk which is everywhere. This MONDAY they had their charming wooden porch rails adorned with garlands and bows. I'm sure its because it's 'traditional' for "Christmas open houses" to be held in the local stores about 5-6 weeks before Christmas. Honestly, it's a sickness.

Our choir is booked for 7 or 8 caroling gigs, the first one is for NOVEMBER 27 and the last one for Dec. 16.    Don't people ever get tired of getting it all 'over with' 10 days before the day actually happens??!?!?!!? Grrrrrrrrh.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 10:59 PM

You're right of course, Kitty. It is jack halyard, otherwise known as John Warner. And he REALLY doesn't like Christmas, or being told he looks like Santa. He even wrote a song about it:

Beard Protest Song.

John Warner - 2 May 2004

I protest! Surely my hirsute features cannot be sufficient cause,
For all the kids in Sydney to call me "Santa Claus"

I don't look a bit like Santa Claus,
My verdict is official,
If the beard on me is all you see,
Then your look's too superficial,
There's Karl Marx and Henry Parkes,
With whom I could be compared,
But its plain to see that you can't see me,
If you just see the big, white beard.

We don't judge folks by the slant of their eyes,
Nor yet the colour of their skin,
You don't match a fella like Nelson Mandela,
With the likes of Idi Amin.
Well I'm the same, I resent the game,
Folks play when they make compare.
It aint no joke, there's a unique bloke,
Beneath this facial hair.

It'd turn me grey what people say,
When I'm strolling around the town,
Why, apart from my belly I could be Ned Kelly,
If my hair was a bit more brown,
W.G. Grace had a barbate face,
Though perhaps not quite as hoary,
And Ho Chi Min's, though a bit more thin,
Was his countenential glory.

So I'm nothing at all like the bloke in the mall,
With the bright red pom-pom hat,
A marketing play from the USA
I'm not, and that is that.
I sing great songs and folk sing along,
I perform to wild applause,
And I'll sing this, chum, ad-nauseum
If you dare say I'm Santa Claus.

So to hell with the henna and the burnt sienna,
And I'm not gonna trim it short,
Go and embarrass that bloke Rolf Harris,
Tie your own kangaroo down sport.
There's more out there than facial hair,
If you need some cause for offence.
Till the day I've died, I'll wear with pride,
This beard on my countenence.

I don't look a bit like Santa Claus,
My verdict is official,
If the beard on me is all you see,
Then your look's too superficial,
There's Karl Marx and Henry Parkes,
With whom I could be compared,
but it's plain to see that you don't see me,
If you just see a big white beard.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 02:04 AM

BAH!


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 02:09 AM

You caaaan saaaay thaaaat aaagaaaain.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 02:12 AM

Agaaaiiinnnn


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 02:16 AM

But adding HUMBUG is in poor taste until at least after Thanksgiving orgies have been cleaned up.

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Peace
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 02:24 AM

Real trees are NOT such a good idea.

Someone else posted this on another thread a few days back, but this is a good place to remind people.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 06:22 AM

Peace -

Same film as at 17 Nov 06 - 12:52 PM

The link there gives a choice of formats.

Required watching every year.

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 07:15 AM

And A Happy Festival of The Jolly Red Fat Man to All!


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: pattyClink
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 07:48 PM

Did anybody else have to kill their browser after going to Peace's "Guzer" link?   Bahhumbug I hate grabby sites that won't let you back out!


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 08:05 PM

Fox news reports that the war on Christmas has started earlier this year than ever before. Happy holiday greetings were reported being seen 2 weeks before Halloween. One such sighting included the message "may the warm hearted spirit of the season last all year long".

Yes the happy holidays/anti Christmas movement is indeed coming earlier every year.

The only way to stop this insideous bastardization of the true meaning of Christmas is to wage a surprise pre emptive attack on warm hearts and happy holidays starting on the 4th of July.

at 2AM.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 08:16 PM

Donuel

Some parts of Australia - especially those with colder Winters - have already discovered "Christmas in July"!!!

Great excuse for resturants to put on heavy meals...


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Severn
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 08:27 PM

gnu,

My favorite carol reflecting life in Canada was always:


Go tell it to the Mounties
That JEEZUS CHRIST, I'm bored...


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 10:55 AM

I wish to state now that I have not, nor have I ever been "jumped" by anyone called Phil.


There's been 2 Davids, 2 Pauls, an Ian, 3 Jonathans, a Julian, 2 Peters, a Michael and a James. One of them was half Maltese.

There's never been a Reg either, but his name appears on the money too.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Alice
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 11:09 AM

I am one of the people that ZOGBY surveys to do Zogby polling.
Yesterday in my email box I found the latest Zogby survey questions. It related to Christmas shopping, how much money spent, whether it is budgeted, buying online, gift cards versus gifts, regifting, etc., and Am I offended if store clerks say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" or "Merry Christmas" instead of something more generic like "Happy Holildays". I don't do much for Christmas now that my son has grown up. I was amazed with the questions about spending... do people really have that much money to spend on plastic toys from China, stuff people don't need, electronic games that can bankrupt you? The lowest choice was "spending $100 or less on gifts" my choice, up into the thousands. Good grief. If you have that much money to spare, give it to charity.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Emma B
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 12:14 PM

a slight confusion of "icons"?


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Alice
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 02:51 PM

Oh, and another question on the Zogby survey, Do you like the stores having Christmas merchandise displayed before Thanksgiving or should they wait until a date closer to Christmas? I'm really curious about the results of this poll. I wonder if there is a commercial Christmas backlash in the public's mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 06:19 PM

At least in the States you have the Thanksgiving 'buffer' - we've had Christmas in the shops since August Bank Holiday in some parts of the UK!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: pattyClink
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 03:55 PM

Alice, the problem is there are so many season rushers (soccer moms, to wildly generalize) who are eager to do their major gift shopping in October, so they can spend November decorating with the stuff they bought in October and December throwing parties and buying stocking stuffers. Until these idiots stop buying Christmas crap in October, nothing is going to change, no matter how peeved the rest of us get about it.   Right now the merchants have the ideal setup, a long season with various kinds of shoppers, first the eager beavers, then the mainstream, then in the last few days us rational types venture out to buy a few things. They keep refilling the shelves and selling more. Oh, and then the gift-card buyers after the big day. It's like a 9-month baseball season where you get paid by the game!


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 01:02 AM

18 Nov 06 - 02:16 AM
But adding HUMBUG is in poor taste until at least after Thanksgiving orgies have been cleaned up.


Thanksgiving having now passed into memories of belly cramps, burps, and other memories, the AntiChristmas season may now formally and correctly begin.

BAH! & HUMBUG!

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 11:32 PM

JENNY O - The Devil Incarnate (perhaps) but NEVER Santa - the photo you posted is evil.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: GUEST,Finnish history teacher.
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 01:33 AM

I think Anti-Santa campaign is only a media circus caused
by those activist groups who desparately lust for attention.

If we look to their "facts" that they use to make their
arguments true - we see that these "facts" are
A) misleading and B) completely wrong...

For instance:

SANTA WAS INVENTED BY COCA-COLA IN 1930
This is terribly wrong... Santa Claus is based in
old pagan celebrations of the day of sun...

CHRISTMAS WAS THE BIRTHDAY OF CHRIST AND SHOULD NOT BE
DISCRAGED WITH THIS MARKETING JUBILATION...
Again wrong... According to the Bible Jesus were born
somewhere in the late summer or the early autumn.

CHRISTMAS IS ONLY FOR BIG SALES...
Wrong again... Shopping has nothing to do with Christmas...
Its just another phenomena that got involved when our
society changed to the consuming society...

I can still name lots of people who don't think consuming
part of the Christmas,


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 07:32 AM

Dear GUEST,Finnish history teacher...

You have good English - but it has apprently missed your notice that many of us here do already know most of this, and were being cynically humourous - the same as we are every year.... :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 07:44 AM

It was a busy weekend round here.... lots of houses now resemble a cross between the lighting department of B&Q and 'Inflatable Excresences R Us'.... there are some truly ghastly arrangements of light strings, inflatable snowmen, santas and reindeer, and the odd flashing train.... sometimes it's good to live in an area with a lot of Muslim households!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 11:15 AM

That doesn't seem to make any difference around here, Liz. I live in a similar area, and some of our more famous streets are already well lit up. More to come too. They haven't started in my street yet. It only takes one - I think some of them are waiting to see who will go first, but if previous years are any guide, once they start, there'll be no stopping them. I reckon they'll be out climbing all over their houses this weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 11:20 AM

Grandma got run over by a reindeer...


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 06:10 PM

And Christina Ricci made #3 on PETA's worst dressed list for the year by wearing dead reindeer skins for a fashion shoot.

Not a very joyous season for those Santa's helpers, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 06:30 PM

You CANNOT have Christmas without seeing...the truth...if you can handle it....


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Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 09:20 PM

Ah yes, SINSULL, must be time to get out my ole reindeer in a rocking chair that rocks and sings that song. I managed to drive a lot of people crazy playing that last year! And you think YOU have a lot of kitsch! Tho I must admit I don't have a headless Jesus ;-)


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Mudcat time: 20 October 8:29 AM EDT

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