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Subject: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 14 Dec 06 - 07:00 AM It must be time for this year's Mudcat pantomime. [Oh yes it is!] Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: JennyO Date: 14 Dec 06 - 07:07 AM Oh no it's not! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Leadfingers Date: 14 Dec 06 - 07:11 AM Its BEHIND you !! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Snuffy Date: 14 Dec 06 - 08:46 AM ONO i TIZZENT |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Rapparee Date: 14 Dec 06 - 08:51 AM It's all around me! It's all around me! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Splott Man Date: 14 Dec 06 - 08:51 AM Alright |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 14 Dec 06 - 08:56 AM Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: fat B****rd Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:07 AM AAAAAAAAAAAAArgh !! It's The Sisty Uglers played by........... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Dave Earl Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:10 AM Would I be a Golden Egg if I got laid last night? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:38 AM It would be a bloody miracle if I got laid last night! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Trevor Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:39 AM Bloody hell, this slipper's tight. And where are all those mice that are supposed to be doing the sweeping up? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: JennyO Date: 14 Dec 06 - 10:30 AM Gone to the bancy fall to lall in fove with the pransome hince, no doubt. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Emma B Date: 14 Dec 06 - 10:41 AM enter the Fairy Godmother |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Splott Man Date: 14 Dec 06 - 11:37 AM You enter the Fairy Godmother yourself! I can't afford the fallout. 8-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 14 Dec 06 - 11:45 AM Or the medication! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Leadfingers Date: 14 Dec 06 - 11:59 AM And at Midnight , Cinderella's Pumpkin Coach turned into a motel ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 14 Dec 06 - 12:21 PM I turned into a lay-by once! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Rapparee Date: 14 Dec 06 - 01:17 PM Heck, that's nothing. I turned into a bar! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Megan L Date: 14 Dec 06 - 03:01 PM I might hae kent wha wis ahint this ya daft auld begger. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 14 Dec 06 - 05:51 PM 20 miles to London and still no sign of Dick. Well someone had to do it.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Rapparee Date: 14 Dec 06 - 06:01 PM Whittington, I presume? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: alison Date: 15 Dec 06 - 02:14 AM I do declare the prince's balls get bigger every year we know a song about that - don't we boys and girls? (couldn't resist either LTS) slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Mingulay Date: 15 Dec 06 - 02:28 AM I see Dick's got his old pussy in tow again!!!! What do you mean by "rub this and see what happens" ? Oooohhhh, it's got a magic wick! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 15 Dec 06 - 04:40 AM Abanazer silently slipped his sparkling siver scimitar slowly from it's sheath. G. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Dave Earl Date: 15 Dec 06 - 04:56 AM And Snow White said "It's not very nice out" so he put it away! Sorry like LTS couldn't resist Dave |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: David C. Carter Date: 15 Dec 06 - 05:05 AM The Wicked Queen said"Ooo,can I see that again?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Splott Man Date: 15 Dec 06 - 07:38 AM "A Mayor? I've never met a Mayor before. How do I address you?" "You say 'Your Grace.'" "Oh.... For what I am about to receive, may I be truly grateful!" It is difficult to resist isn't it! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 15 Dec 06 - 09:20 AM ...Are we feeling Happy? Well Grumpy hasn't.... RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: David C. Carter Date: 15 Dec 06 - 10:28 PM been feeling Happy for some time,and Happy is starting to feel a little bit grumpy... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Geordie-Peorgie Date: 16 Dec 06 - 04:08 AM Cinderella: I cannot go to the ball because I have 'the ladies curse' at the moment" Fairy Godmother: I shall turn this pumpkin into a tampon and you SHALL go to the ball...... But for chrissake be back b y midnight!!!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland Date: 16 Dec 06 - 07:29 AM booo booooooo hiss booooooooooo cheer hiss boo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 16 Dec 06 - 08:00 AM Crocodile! What crocodile? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: lady penelope Date: 16 Dec 06 - 11:42 AM At which point Sleeping Beauty could take no more..... Overturning the spinning wheel she lept across the room, punched Prince Charming's lights out, stole his horse and set about a crusade to free fairy tale damsels from the tiranny of narrative....... Ah Bum Hug...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 16 Dec 06 - 11:51 AM "Parker" said Lady Penelope "Yuss moi laidee" said Parker. "Pimp my ride" said Lady Penelope. G. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Dec 06 - 02:36 AM And stop that Puss from doing that in my good boots! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 17 Dec 06 - 05:10 AM Must be very high boots indeed if you can get that in there too Dick! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: DMcG Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:46 AM In comes I, a hero bold, With - coz its winter - a dreadful cold. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:58 AM Come in, come in it's nice and hot, You say you've a cold, but you don't say what! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Leadfingers Date: 17 Dec 06 - 09:56 AM I said I've a cold - Now dont be silly Is in my Nose , not in my - - - elbow ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: DMcG Date: 17 Dec 06 - 10:39 AM A star on my breast like silver should shine But instead there's just spirit of turpentine. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Rapparee Date: 17 Dec 06 - 11:08 AM I am the Evil Fairy Godfather. Poof! You're a garden slug! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 17 Dec 06 - 12:00 PM I saw in you in garden, I saw you on the roof I saw the way you glide along, Garden slug, you are a p**f |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:29 PM What? Still no sign of Dick? LTS I've had a difficult weekend, alright?! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Dead Horse Date: 17 Dec 06 - 05:04 PM In comes Dick and all his men He's come to see you once again He once was hairy stout and strong But alas I fear he wont be long For what was once all cock-a-hoop Now lies grey with quite a droop His mane is gone, also his vigour He's lost his poke, likewise his figure His girth is as it was before But now it sags and points to the floor Where often it has been of use Alas, shows signs of self abuse So quickly wave your magic stick That once again "In comes Dick" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Herga Kitty Date: 17 Dec 06 - 07:34 PM Well, I haven't spotted Dick yet... (though t'was I who helped Aladdin find a cave that wasn't there, and I who made Dick Whittington turn round and then Lord Mayor). A Fairy past 40 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Bert Date: 18 Dec 06 - 01:53 AM The Fairy Godmother says "You must be home by midnight or your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella returns at 2 am. with a glazed look in her eyes and says "I met this gorgeous Prince. His name was Peter, Peter something or other" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 18 Dec 06 - 05:09 AM That's all very well, but what am I going to do with a size 14 glass welly? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: GUEST Date: 18 Dec 06 - 08:13 AM Is that how you spell welly??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: GUEST Date: 18 Dec 06 - 08:22 AM Glass Welly did not answer, but wished he had a size 14. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 18 Dec 06 - 08:32 AM Mine's a foot long. That's a good length for a foot, you know. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:13 AM Your post could become a leg end in your own lifetime Robin. G. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:57 AM Cut the end off or you'll get chaps.... or is that the idea? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Bert Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:19 PM Is that how you spell welly? Of course not, it's either Welly or Wellie. Has to be capitalised for the Great Duke himself. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:31 PM The Duke wore spurs on his. G |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Leadfingers Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:42 PM Iv'e got twelve inches , but I dont use it as a rule ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 18 Dec 06 - 07:41 PM I do hope that Santa doesn't come down the chimney again at my place this year - I've only just finished cleaning up the mess from last year! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 19 Dec 06 - 03:01 AM Oh yes he will!!! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: fat B****rd Date: 19 Dec 06 - 04:16 AM Meanwhile back in Pantoland............ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: John MacKenzie Date: 19 Dec 06 - 04:32 AM It's me Fairy Nuff, I can do lots of stuff That will make you all gasp, and your instruments clasp Instead of blow whistles I will cause you to suck 'em Your lutes and your tipples, it's time to say "Pluck them" Begone with dull care, your hair stick a flower in Sit up to the fire, gnu throw on a bodhran When the flames they are leaping as high as they can go We'll measure our pleasure, by throwing in a banjo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 19 Dec 06 - 06:12 AM To warm your cockles on your sojourn, Stoke up the fire, throw on a melojun. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: GUEST,Squeezeme Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:08 AM An accordion too, but the fumes please avoid, 'cos the finish is made from.... * * * * * * * * ....nitrous celluloid |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: GUEST Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:13 AM And too much smoke might make you feel sick, And not too close or you might burn your Whittington [Can't seem to quite get that to rhyme :-( ] |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:10 PM Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: Splott Man Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:17 AM The Interview: Name? Buttons Birthdate? September 9. Year? Every year. Previous experience? Well, I worked in a Tiddleywink factory, but I found it counter productive. Then I got a job as a contortionist, but I couldn't make ends meet. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:28 PM And now, some Christmas Carols |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: lady penelope Date: 21 Dec 06 - 04:58 PM Hark the jelly babies sing Beecham pills are just the thing They are very meek and mild Two for a grown up, one for a child If you want to go to heaven Take the double dose of seven If you want to go hell Take twelve dozen packets as well Hark the jelly babies sing Beecham pills are just the thing I'm sorry..... where were we? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: GUEST,,e Date: 24 Dec 06 - 06:59 AM Personally, I think this version flows better: Hark the jelly babies sing Beecham pills are just the thing They are very meek and mild Two for a grown up, one for a child If you want to go to heaven Take the double dose of seven If you want to go hell Take the lot; you might as well Hark the jelly babies sing Beecham pills are just the thing |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 24 Dec 06 - 07:51 AM A Charisma Scare Roll Go dressed team marriage end dull meant Lit north ink cutest May Forge eases cry star say fiord West boor non crisp mistake, Two safe assault form say tons spar Win whee wore gonifs tray; Owe, tide ink's off come fort enjoy, come fort enjoy, Owe tye eye dink's off come fort enjoy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 24 Dec 06 - 07:54 AM An Udder Charisma Scare Roll Oak gum ball if facefull, choy fall ant dry infant; Gum ball ease it is sins off heavy nabob. Gum band a door imp, barn off kinky faint shells. Oak omelet acid Durham, oak omelet acid Durham, Oak gum lettuce at Durhammm, cry, I still hoard. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 02 Jan 07 - 05:44 AM Say.... they've all buggered orf... |
