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BS: Mudcat Panto 2006

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John MacKenzie 14 Dec 06 - 07:00 AM
JennyO 14 Dec 06 - 07:07 AM
Leadfingers 14 Dec 06 - 07:11 AM
Snuffy 14 Dec 06 - 08:46 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 06 - 08:51 AM
Splott Man 14 Dec 06 - 08:51 AM
John MacKenzie 14 Dec 06 - 08:56 AM
fat B****rd 14 Dec 06 - 09:07 AM
Dave Earl 14 Dec 06 - 09:10 AM
John MacKenzie 14 Dec 06 - 09:38 AM
Trevor 14 Dec 06 - 09:39 AM
JennyO 14 Dec 06 - 10:30 AM
Emma B 14 Dec 06 - 10:41 AM
Splott Man 14 Dec 06 - 11:37 AM
John MacKenzie 14 Dec 06 - 11:45 AM
Leadfingers 14 Dec 06 - 11:59 AM
John MacKenzie 14 Dec 06 - 12:21 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 06 - 01:17 PM
Megan L 14 Dec 06 - 03:01 PM
Liz the Squeak 14 Dec 06 - 05:51 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 06 - 06:01 PM
alison 15 Dec 06 - 02:14 AM
Mingulay 15 Dec 06 - 02:28 AM
John MacKenzie 15 Dec 06 - 04:40 AM
Dave Earl 15 Dec 06 - 04:56 AM
David C. Carter 15 Dec 06 - 05:05 AM
Splott Man 15 Dec 06 - 07:38 AM
Roger the Skiffler 15 Dec 06 - 09:20 AM
David C. Carter 15 Dec 06 - 10:28 PM
Geordie-Peorgie 16 Dec 06 - 04:08 AM
Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland 16 Dec 06 - 07:29 AM
John MacKenzie 16 Dec 06 - 08:00 AM
lady penelope 16 Dec 06 - 11:42 AM
John MacKenzie 16 Dec 06 - 11:51 AM
Liz the Squeak 17 Dec 06 - 02:36 AM
John MacKenzie 17 Dec 06 - 05:10 AM
DMcG 17 Dec 06 - 08:46 AM
John MacKenzie 17 Dec 06 - 08:58 AM
Leadfingers 17 Dec 06 - 09:56 AM
DMcG 17 Dec 06 - 10:39 AM
Rapparee 17 Dec 06 - 11:08 AM
John MacKenzie 17 Dec 06 - 12:00 PM
Liz the Squeak 17 Dec 06 - 04:29 PM
Dead Horse 17 Dec 06 - 05:04 PM
Herga Kitty 17 Dec 06 - 07:34 PM
Bert 18 Dec 06 - 01:53 AM
Liz the Squeak 18 Dec 06 - 05:09 AM
GUEST 18 Dec 06 - 08:13 AM
GUEST 18 Dec 06 - 08:22 AM
The Fooles Troupe 18 Dec 06 - 08:32 AM
John MacKenzie 18 Dec 06 - 10:13 AM
Liz the Squeak 18 Dec 06 - 11:57 AM
Bert 18 Dec 06 - 04:19 PM
John MacKenzie 18 Dec 06 - 04:31 PM
Leadfingers 18 Dec 06 - 04:42 PM
The Fooles Troupe 18 Dec 06 - 07:41 PM
Liz the Squeak 19 Dec 06 - 03:01 AM
fat B****rd 19 Dec 06 - 04:16 AM
John MacKenzie 19 Dec 06 - 04:32 AM
Liz the Squeak 19 Dec 06 - 06:12 AM
GUEST,Squeezeme 19 Dec 06 - 09:08 AM
GUEST 19 Dec 06 - 09:13 AM
The Fooles Troupe 19 Dec 06 - 10:10 PM
Splott Man 20 Dec 06 - 04:17 AM
The Fooles Troupe 20 Dec 06 - 08:28 PM
lady penelope 21 Dec 06 - 04:58 PM
GUEST,,e 24 Dec 06 - 06:59 AM
The Fooles Troupe 24 Dec 06 - 07:51 AM
The Fooles Troupe 24 Dec 06 - 07:54 AM
The Fooles Troupe 02 Jan 07 - 05:44 AM

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Subject: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 07:00 AM

It must be time for this year's Mudcat pantomime.
[Oh yes it is!]

Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: JennyO
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 07:07 AM

Oh no it's not!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Leadfingers
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 07:11 AM

Its BEHIND you !!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Snuffy
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 08:46 AM

ONO i TIZZENT


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 08:51 AM

It's all around me! It's all around me!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Splott Man
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 08:51 AM

Alright


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 08:56 AM

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: fat B****rd
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:07 AM

AAAAAAAAAAAAArgh !! It's The Sisty Uglers played by...........


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Dave Earl
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:10 AM

Would I be a Golden Egg if I got laid last night?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:38 AM

It would be a bloody miracle if I got laid last night!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Trevor
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 09:39 AM

Bloody hell, this slipper's tight. And where are all those mice that are supposed to be doing the sweeping up?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: JennyO
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 10:30 AM

Gone to the bancy fall to lall in fove with the pransome hince, no doubt.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Emma B
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 10:41 AM

enter the Fairy Godmother


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Splott Man
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 11:37 AM

You enter the Fairy Godmother yourself! I can't afford the fallout. 8-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 11:45 AM

Or the medication!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Leadfingers
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 11:59 AM

And at Midnight , Cinderella's Pumpkin Coach turned into a motel !


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 12:21 PM

I turned into a lay-by once!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 01:17 PM

Heck, that's nothing. I turned into a bar!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Megan L
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 03:01 PM

I might hae kent wha wis ahint this ya daft auld begger.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 05:51 PM

20 miles to London and still no sign of Dick.













Well someone had to do it....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 06:01 PM

Whittington, I presume?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: alison
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 02:14 AM

I do declare the prince's balls get bigger every year




we know a song about that - don't we boys and girls?

(couldn't resist either LTS)

slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Mingulay
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 02:28 AM

I see Dick's got his old pussy in tow again!!!!

What do you mean by "rub this and see what happens" ? Oooohhhh, it's got a magic wick!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 04:40 AM

Abanazer silently slipped his sparkling siver scimitar slowly from it's sheath.
G.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Dave Earl
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 04:56 AM

And Snow White said "It's not very nice out" so he put it away!

Sorry like LTS couldn't resist

Dave


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: David C. Carter
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 05:05 AM

The Wicked Queen said"Ooo,can I see that again?"


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Splott Man
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 07:38 AM

"A Mayor? I've never met a Mayor before. How do I address you?"

"You say 'Your Grace.'"

"Oh.... For what I am about to receive, may I be truly grateful!"







It is difficult to resist isn't it!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 09:20 AM

...Are we feeling Happy?
Well Grumpy hasn't....

RtS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: David C. Carter
Date: 15 Dec 06 - 10:28 PM

been feeling Happy for some time,and Happy is starting to feel a little bit grumpy...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 04:08 AM

Cinderella: I cannot go to the ball because I have 'the ladies curse' at the moment"

Fairy Godmother: I shall turn this pumpkin into a tampon and you SHALL go to the ball...... But for chrissake be back b y midnight!!!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 07:29 AM

booo booooooo hiss booooooooooo
cheer hiss boo


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 08:00 AM

Crocodile! What crocodile?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: lady penelope
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 11:42 AM

At which point Sleeping Beauty could take no more..... Overturning the spinning wheel she lept across the room, punched Prince Charming's lights out, stole his horse and set about a crusade to free fairy tale damsels from the tiranny of narrative.......

Ah Bum Hug......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 06 - 11:51 AM

"Parker" said Lady Penelope
"Yuss moi laidee" said Parker.
"Pimp my ride" said Lady Penelope.
G.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 02:36 AM

And stop that Puss from doing that in my good boots!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 05:10 AM

Must be very high boots indeed if you can get that in there too Dick!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: DMcG
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:46 AM

In comes I, a hero bold,
With - coz its winter - a dreadful cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 08:58 AM

Come in, come in it's nice and hot,
You say you've a cold, but you don't say what!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Leadfingers
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 09:56 AM

I said I've a cold - Now dont be silly
Is in my Nose , not in my - - - elbow ?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: DMcG
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 10:39 AM

A star on my breast like silver should shine
But instead there's just spirit of turpentine.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 11:08 AM

I am the Evil Fairy Godfather.

Poof! You're a garden slug!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 12:00 PM

I saw in you in garden,
I saw you on the roof
I saw the way you glide along,
Garden slug, you are a p**f


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 04:29 PM

What? Still no sign of Dick?

LTS












I've had a difficult weekend, alright?!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Dead Horse
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 05:04 PM

In comes Dick and all his men
He's come to see you once again
He once was hairy stout and strong
But alas I fear he wont be long
For what was once all cock-a-hoop
Now lies grey with quite a droop
His mane is gone, also his vigour
He's lost his poke, likewise his figure
His girth is as it was before
But now it sags and points to the floor
Where often it has been of use
Alas, shows signs of self abuse
So quickly wave your magic stick
That once again "In comes Dick"


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 17 Dec 06 - 07:34 PM

Well, I haven't spotted Dick yet...

(though t'was I who helped Aladdin find a cave that wasn't there, and I who made Dick Whittington turn round and then Lord Mayor).

A Fairy past 40


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Bert
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 01:53 AM

The Fairy Godmother says "You must be home by midnight or your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

Cinderella returns at 2 am. with a glazed look in her eyes and says "I met this gorgeous Prince. His name was Peter, Peter something or other"


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 05:09 AM

That's all very well, but what am I going to do with a size 14 glass welly?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 08:13 AM

Is that how you spell welly???


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 08:22 AM

Glass Welly did not answer, but wished he had a size 14.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 08:32 AM

Mine's a foot long.

That's a good length for a foot, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:13 AM

Your post could become a leg end in your own lifetime Robin.
G.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:57 AM

Cut the end off or you'll get chaps.... or is that the idea?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Bert
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:19 PM

Is that how you spell welly? Of course not, it's either Welly or Wellie. Has to be capitalised for the Great Duke himself.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:31 PM

The Duke wore spurs on his.
G


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Leadfingers
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 04:42 PM

Iv'e got twelve inches , but I dont use it as a rule !


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 07:41 PM

I do hope that Santa doesn't come down the chimney again at my place this year - I've only just finished cleaning up the mess from last year!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 03:01 AM

Oh yes he will!!!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: fat B****rd
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 04:16 AM

Meanwhile back in Pantoland............


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 04:32 AM

It's me Fairy Nuff, I can do lots of stuff
That will make you all gasp, and your instruments clasp
Instead of blow whistles I will cause you to suck 'em
Your lutes and your tipples, it's time to say "Pluck them"
Begone with dull care, your hair stick a flower in
Sit up to the fire, gnu throw on a bodhran
When the flames they are leaping as high as they can go
We'll measure our pleasure, by throwing in a banjo


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 06:12 AM

To warm your cockles on your sojourn,
Stoke up the fire, throw on a melojun.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: GUEST,Squeezeme
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:08 AM

An accordion too, but the fumes please avoid,
'cos the finish is made from....
*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

....nitrous celluloid


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:13 AM

And too much smoke might make you feel sick,
And not too close or you might burn your Whittington

[Can't seem to quite get that to rhyme :-( ]


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:10 PM

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer...


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: Splott Man
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:17 AM

The Interview:

Name?

Buttons


Birthdate?

September 9.


Year?

Every year.


Previous experience?

Well, I worked in a Tiddleywink factory, but I found it counter productive.
Then I got a job as a contortionist, but I couldn't make ends meet.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:28 PM

And now, some Christmas Carols


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: lady penelope
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 04:58 PM

Hark the jelly babies sing
Beecham pills are just the thing
They are very meek and mild
Two for a grown up, one for a child
If you want to go to heaven
Take the double dose of seven
If you want to go hell
Take twelve dozen packets as well
Hark the jelly babies sing
Beecham pills are just the thing


I'm sorry..... where were we?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: GUEST,,e
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 06:59 AM

Personally, I think this version flows better:

Hark the jelly babies sing
Beecham pills are just the thing
They are very meek and mild
Two for a grown up, one for a child
If you want to go to heaven
Take the double dose of seven
If you want to go hell
Take the lot; you might as well
Hark the jelly babies sing
Beecham pills are just the thing


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 07:51 AM

A Charisma Scare Roll

Go dressed team marriage end dull meant
Lit north ink cutest May
Forge eases cry star say fiord
West boor non crisp mistake,
Two safe assault form say tons spar
Win whee wore gonifs tray;
Owe, tide ink's off come fort enjoy, come fort enjoy,
Owe tye eye dink's off come fort enjoy.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 07:54 AM

An Udder Charisma Scare Roll

Oak gum ball if facefull, choy fall ant dry infant;
Gum ball ease it is sins off heavy nabob.
Gum band a door imp, barn off kinky faint shells.
Oak omelet acid Durham, oak omelet acid Durham,
Oak gum lettuce at Durhammm, cry, I still hoard.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Panto 2006
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Jan 07 - 05:44 AM

Say.... they've all buggered orf...


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