BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?

Subject: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 08:40 PM

I mean, think about it. You've seen Lassie rescue countless kids who were drowning, caught in quicksand, stuck in wells, trapped under bulldozers, fleeing from grizzly bears, whatever...but not ONCE have you seen Lassie do her business on the neighbors' lawn. Not once! It's incredible. Was she really a dog or some kind of android?

Speculate. Talk about it. The "submit" button is waiting impatiently for your valuable thoughts to be posted!

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:09 PM

The first time the camera caught her squatting rather than raising her leg there would have a tremendous outcry from homophobes.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:33 PM

Yes and no. Lassie never took a dump during filming. In fact, a simple procedure was used to insure that she wouldn't do so. Before filming began, one of Lassie's trainers would insert a cork in her anus, where it remained until filming was completed. Afterwards, Jon Provost, the kid who played Timmy, was forced to go into Lassie's pen and remove the cork. That may have been a factor in Provost's decision to forego an adult acting career and become a real estate salesman.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:47 PM

So when she was saying 'Timmy's trapped down the abandoned mine shaft' she was really saying 'get this thing outta my butt!'?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:52 PM

What Bee-Dubya said is absolutely true. One day after shooting was finished, Timmy went to take the cork out and found Lassie had a bit of an intestinal problem. He'd barely loosened the cork when the pent-up gas pressure shot the thing out, where it severely damaged an expensive camera and the Key Grip, riccocheted off a truck and narrowly missed a passing 707.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: GUEST,zzz
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:54 PM

Nothing on the telly, Hawk? Or anything for a post?

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:22 PM

Lassie was played by a male dog

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: number 6
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:34 PM

Lassie was played by many dogs.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:41 PM

You simply fail to grasp my peculiar sense of humor, zzz... ;-) This thread is a satirical response to another thread in the same vein.

Bee-Dub, that was a GREAT contribution! Thanks for a good laugh.

If indeed Lassie was played by a male dog...or several male dogs...then we have additional reason to wonder why "she" was never seen lifting her leg and engaging in other such rites of male dog passage! There has clearly been a massive coverup foisted upon an unsuspecting public, and I hope we get to the bottom of it in this discussion.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: number 6
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:43 PM

Lassie was a wimp.

But I wonder did the Littlest Hobo (now he was cool) ever go to the toilet?

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:01 PM

Lassie was portrayed by male dogs for totally mercenary reasons. Females of the "Lassie" bloodlines were more valuable as broodstock than as actors. Their puppies were worth big bucks. And they didn't have time for motherhood and a career anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:04 PM

Good flippin' thing them colly dogs have long hair, isn't it? They did not have to worry about her little male dog dipper showin'...

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Gurney
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:26 PM

Do DOGS shit in the woods?

Lassie never went to the toilet at all, because the first time she tried it, she slipped off the seat and split her difference!

Do cowboys ever get change? They swagger into the bar, throw a coin down, and NEVER have I seen change made.
The only time I saw a COWBOY go to the bog, someone shot him whilst he had his gunbelt down.

Perhaps that is why Lassie favoured the cork method.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:27 PM

From what I understand, what was said above is true and all of the several dogs who played Lassie were male. I don't know if I believe that cork bit - Bee-dubya-ell must be taking lessons from Spaw.
Now, if I were a director, and Lassie lifted "her" leg....

Cut!!!

Merry Christmas, dog lovers everywhere.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: GUEST,Blind DRink in Blind River
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 12:16 AM

Don't NEVER use that word around those parts of the body, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 12:24 AM

Well. I am properly humbled- for just a moment there I had it backward. (That NEVER happens to me. *G*) The thought had popped into my head that Lassie was Laddie and therefore supposedly male but played by female dogs and wrote to that effect, making the whole thing... aw, carp.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 01:15 AM

Hmmmm. Mixing up carp and crap is bad enough, but laddies and lassies???
You are seriously dyslexic, Ebbie.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 02:22 AM

I know. sob

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 02:59 AM

Actually, as with all stars, Lassie had her own motorhome on set and would use the loo in it as required. She did however have trouble pulling the chain so someone invented the lever flush especially for her. We have reaped the benefit of this of course.
What I want to know is...who went swimming in the water when flipper had....well you know?

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Bugsy
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 03:27 AM

Joe, Lady dogs don't lift their legs.......

Whenever you saw her sitting still with that "faraway look" in her eyes.... That's when she was taking a dump.


CHeers


Bugsy

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 06:03 AM

Will, ye go Lassie, go

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 07:53 AM

Do bitches "cock" their legs?

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:03 AM

Actually, yes...some do! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:35 AM

The real question is did Lassie ever fart.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Cluin
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 09:08 AM

She queefed.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 09:24 AM

The heroes NEVER go to the toilet. That's probably why I've been told that John Wayne was "full of it."

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 09:35 AM

toilet jokes. Aren't they fun!

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 11:52 AM

The cork bit doesn't "eliminate" the no-cocking-the-leg problem, even though it disposes of another question.

Actually, the answer to the founding question of this thread is that there was a conspiracy between the director and the film editor. What the director didn't "cut", the film editor "sliced".

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 12:22 PM

I hope that post from Dave O. puts this pathetic thread to rest.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 01:09 PM

Takes a pretty pathetic person to post to this thread, and one even more pathetic to read it and criticize those that DO post....

Remember the old poem?

Those who write on shithouse walls
Roll their shit in little balls,
And those that read those words of wit
EAT those little balls of shit.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 01:22 PM

Yes, they hide shivering behind their pathetic anonymity...plotting their next devastating comment. Heh! Like a mangy rat, skulking in the shadows.

This thread was launched NOT for purposes of making poop jokes at all, anonymous one. It was launched to poke fun at a previous thread which is entitled "Did Santa ever go to the toilet?".

I'm not interested in poop jokes, fart jokes, or any scatological jokes. Not even slightly. I don't find then funny. It's one of the things I've never found very funny about Spaw's sense of humor, as a matter of fact. I haven't been interested in poop jokes since about age 9 maybe. I guess I did not face any really traumatic toilet training issues...

But I AM interested in making fun of certain rather silly threads that catch my eye here and there on this forum from time to time. The aforementioned thread about Santa was one such.

Accordingly, you have missed my point entirely, and your huffing and puffing here about what you deem as a maturity issue is vain and pointless, at least as regards my launching of this thread. If you want to object to some of the other posters making poop jokes on this thread, well, that's another matter, isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 01:26 PM

Our local pub has the labels Lassies on the ladies toilet, and Laddies on the Gents. So that's Wee Alan covered too.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:05 PM

I agree, Little Hawk! Poop jokes are for immature fools with stunted emotional development! We mature, emotionally ripened fools much prefer shit jokes.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:08 PM

Whereas feces would fall somewhere in between, I assume? ;-)

Then there are compost and fertilizer jokes, which are a bit more popular with the agrarian crowd.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:40 PM

I hope it doesn't fall between, and if it does, you can clear it up yourself!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 09:56 PM

Suppose there's a(n operating) fan between? Then what?

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 12:33 AM

I think you know what happens then.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: GUEST,Robert
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 01:23 PM

Or did the creature just shite on the ground?

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Don Firth
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 01:25 PM

Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?

Of course she did. Whenever she found that her water dish was empty.

Now, as to whether Santa Claus drinks out of the toilet, I couldn't say.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 01:48 PM

Letters to Santa get flushed down the toilet and he receives them by magic.

(in actuality by giant crocodiles living in the sewers)

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Les from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 02:45 PM

Well if Lassie was played by male dogs that's not that unusual in acting, especially as we are nearing Panto season (oh no we're not..). But Skippy the Bush Kangaroo was played by a wallaby. Now that's acting for you. Acting a whole different species!

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 04:37 PM

Why not, Les? George W. Bush acts like he's a good President...

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Slag
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 04:54 PM

Jon Provost was my sister's real estate agent in Santa Rosa! He's a very nice fellow and has some humorous stories concerning the Lassies. I think there were about eight of them and one or two were actually female. Tommy Retig who played Jeff on the original TV series was apparrently confused by the whole gender thing. I understand that was the reason he gave up his acting career. I could be very wrong on that last point of cause and effect but not on the gender issue.

Did she ever go to the toilet? Don F. stole my thunder on that one. Thanks a lot Don. Well, (a-hem), she was always pulling Timmy or Porky or Jeff or somebody out of a well or a toilet or some such. Eventually the whole show went in the toilet so maybe that answers your question.

Subject: RE: BS: Did Lassie ever go to the toilet?
From: Don Firth
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 05:17 PM

I didn't watch the "Rosanne" show all that often, but one I did see involved Rosanne talking to Darlene's boyfriend (Darlene was Rosanne's teenaged daughter on the show). Rosanne was blundering ahead and about to blow a Big Secret. Darlene, standing behind the boyfriend, kept giving Rosanne The Look, and jerking her head, as if to say "Shut the hell up!" But Rosanne picked up on the head-jerking and said, "What's the matter, girl? Is something wrong? What are you trying to tell me? You say Timmy fell down the well?" and on and on in that vein. One of the funniest bits I've ever seen on any comedy show. In fact, Rosanne and Sara Gilbert, who played Darlene, cracked each other up so much while they were taping the scene, they showed the out-takes at the end of the show. Absolutely hilarious!

Don Firth