Lyr Req: Jets (recitation by Alan Melville)

Subject: Lyr Req: 'Jets' recording by Alan Melville
From: Girl Friday
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 08:49 PM

I heard a very funny monologue on a recent radio programme. I have posted a request on the BBC's message board, and thought I'd try asking catters. It is about having a lovely cottage in Kent, having the peace shattered by low-flying super-sonic jets. We thought it just the thing for the TDL repertoire.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Jets' recording by Alan Melville
From: Cluin
Date: 03 Jan 07 - 09:26 PM

Here come the Jets
Like a bat outta hell
Someone gets in our way
Someone don't feel so well...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jets (recitation by Alan Melville)
From: Girl Friday
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 09:18 PM

Though it's good, that's not what I'm loking for. This was about living in a cottage in Kent, and having the china smashed, chandeliers falling, windows breaking etc. caused by the overhead flights.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jets (recitation by Alan Melville)
From: GUEST,dave
Date: 19 Oct 13 - 04:04 AM

Just been played on sound iof the sixtiesBBC radio 2 19 oct 2013

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Jets (recitation by Alan Melville)
From: GUEST,Dillyew
Date: 20 Oct 13 - 02:39 AM

As a song 'Jets' is available on Amazon as an MP3 download for 89 pence.

Subject: Lyr Add: JETS (Alan Melville)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Oct 13 - 12:04 AM

JETS
As recorded by Alan Melville on "Melvillainy" (2011)

I've a little house in Kent
Where I've lived in great content
Undisturbed, uninterrupted all my days.
In my garden, I may add,
I've a greenhouse, or I had,
With a frame for all the seedlings that I raise.
I've collected chandeliers
Over many, many years.
I've installed the type of windows known as French.
I've Venetian glass galore,
Bits of Dresden by the score,
For my thirst for objets d'art I cannot quench.

In amassing things like these, one quite forgets
Jets.

Each time a jet travels faster than sound,
Crash go two more chandeliers to the ground.
Each time a speed supersonic they pass,
Four more French windows are minus their glass.
Each time test pilots fly low overhead,
Small bits of Dresden are found in my bed.
Each time a record is broken, in fact,
There's hardly a pane of my greenhouse intact,
And I think of the care and the money I've spent
On my quiet little home near an airfield in Kent.

Each time a jet plane starts looping the loop,
Delft, Ming, and Spode all land plop in my soup.
Each time I duck from a jet-propelled craft,
My glass-enclosed loggia lets in more draft.
Each time I hear the sound barriers boom,
My char, Mrs Jackson, appears with her broom.
Each time planes pass with a deafening roar,
My pussy gets small bits of Sèvres in its paw.
And I think I shall lease at a very low rent
My quiet little home near that airfield in Kent.