101 things to do with a shakey egg

Subject: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Stu
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 01:52 PM

Seeing as shakey eggs are so bloody annoying in sessions, I was wondering if we could find another use for them so their owners can make the effort to learn a proper instrument and join in for real.

1) Place them back from whence they came.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST,Val
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 01:53 PM

Crack it into a frying pan & try to make a shakey omelet

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Midchuck
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:00 PM

My contribution is too obvious to bother with, as well as being crude and vulgar - might I say "unlay" it?

Peter.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST, ...
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:05 PM

Which came first, the shakey egg or the shakey chicken?

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Ernest
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:12 PM

Organize a race: put 1 egg into 1 spoon, another one in another spoon and so on. racecourse is three times round town (or from one pub to another).winner is allowed to participate in 3 songs/tunes with either egg or spoons. all others have to stay quiet.
That way you get rid of the eggs AND the spoons...

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST, Topsie
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:15 PM

Egg nog:

Put the egg in a glass, add rum, brandy, cream and a little nutmeg. Shake well.

Drink the liquid.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Charmion
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:19 PM

Slide egg into holey sock; arrange hole over egg. Darn the sock. Repeat until mending basket is empty and session players have gone home.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Charmion
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:21 PM

Place egg in nest of hen who should be laying but isn't. Ensure rooster is available to conduct follow-up. Close chickenhouse door and tip-toe away quietly.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Jim Lad
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 02:32 PM

Golf Balls for the vision impaired.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Leadfingers
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 03:19 PM

Can I say a word in favour of shaky eggs ? They are NOT so obtrusive as a badly hit Bodhran or (even WORSE) a tambour-bloody-rine !

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Darowyn
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 03:46 PM

If you have more than one, and you can keep time, you can juggle.

Egg shakers are brilliant in the Studio- they record really well, and unlike larger shakers,which have an annoying delay, they play in time.
Perhaps the best use for shakers is to annoy the miserable b.....s until they go somewhere else, so that people who are at the session to enjoy themselves can get on with it in noisy contentment.
Cheers
Dave

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 04:32 PM

In defence of shaky eggs - last time I played one the session was in my house!

I have a shaky eggplant which has a great deal more variety in sounds, despite having been stood on by an overexcited Stan.

LTS

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST,Rabukoo
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 04:59 PM

I have a shakey banana which I try to use with a modicum of discretion, and almost never at the same time as playing the kazoo.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 05:32 PM

Sneak the egg off the table and into the hand of a five-year-old. Then whisper to him, "I bet you can't throw this against that brick wall hard enough to break it!"

Be sure to use your most excruciatingly sincere voice when you tell the owner, "Awwww, he's sorry. He didn't know it was breakable." And, above all, be sure not to grin.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Don Firth
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 06:52 PM

The shaky egg, the bodhran, the tambourine, and various other percussion instruments can be a great addition, provided they are in the hands of someone who knows what to do with them—and know when not to do with them. THIS is an example of the bodhran well-used.

Unfortunately, instruments of this type are generally acquired by the congenitally unmusical who are dying to participate—and could conceivably die as a result of their insisting on participating.

Back in the Sixties, the non-musical person's instrument of choice was a brace of bongos. On only two or three occasions did I encounter someone who actually knew what they were for (other than to garner dirty looks and muttered curses), and they were professional percussionists. Once, some guy with a pair of bongos wandered into a coffeehouse where I was singing and began earning the animosity of everyone in the place. When he tried to accompany me on "Greensleeves" (6/8 time really threw him off!), the owner of the place politely but firmly told him to put them under his chair and leave them there.

There was another guy who liked to sit there and bang on the edge of his table. The owner laid the law down to him, too.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST,woodsie
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 07:58 PM

One thing you can do is participate in one of the many amateur music sessions that are held in bars up and down the country. A great way of joining in, even if you can't play an instrument. That is unless the people there are a bunch of "up their own arse" prats who play a few notes on the scale of G and think they are some kind of musical elite!

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Forsh
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 08:06 PM

Err, Stuff it up the tube of Northumbrian Small Pipe?
Or, in response to one above mentioned, and linked to a few... take 2 eggs, and 2 spoons, use spoons to throw eggs far far away, Play Spoons! :)

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Blowzabella
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 08:15 PM

I think that, with a bit of imagination and with the help of a spin cycle, a girl could have a really good time ....

(Did I really say that - oops!!)

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 08:35 PM

crotchet crotchet quaver quaver crotchet. - The Mike Oldfield quick step

Arrrrrrrrrrrgghhhhh. hate it hate it HATE IT -

This rhythm drives me nuts in sessions - egg or no egg

Eggs are fine - ive got two or three & other shakers too and I use them. I use them but for fxxks sake.....

.......GROOOVE

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Slag
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 11:46 PM

I've never seen a musical score that included the shakey egg, the Tropical Rainforest thingy or the Harley Davidson Black Phantom (think Meat Loaf) but hey! If you can score cannons (1812 Overture) then why not an honest attempt to give the "egg" a befitting role in a serious piece of music!

(The laughter dies down...) I shot one with a 30-06 at 20 yards and I'm sure it probably made a stupendous sound but alas, it couldn't compete with the rifle report.

If you go into the USGS site and click on United States Earthquakes you will instantly realize that there are about a half dozen or so earthquakes around the bulk of the nation but on any given day there are about 300 to 400 earthquakes in California. Shakey Chickens lay shakey eggs and you sure don't want those hatching in your peacable haunts. Then you'd have shakey chickens and the next thing you know, EARTHQUAKES. Send 'em back to California.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Stu
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 04:14 AM

I don't think shakey eggs are bad per se, but in our session we have two and they only ever play on the first beat of the bar and they play on every tune and they're often not even in time with each other and . . . like that sentence, it gets tiresome.

Well I could go on, but in my mind Kid on the Mountain sounds better sans shakey soddin' eggs, which are used by people who want to join a session but can't be arsed to learn an instrument. I don't see Planxty using them, or John Joe Kelly hunkered down as he gets incredible sounds from his egg. At least a bodhran player is trying to engage with his instrument.

But then who is a fat tosser like me to say?

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 06:20 AM

I have a small light brown shakey mushroom that lives on a side table with 2 larger exquisitely beautiful emerald green hand-blown glass mushrooms.

It's my only musical instrument & has never been near a session!

sandra (chorus singer)

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 07:04 AM

I haven't got a shakey egg. I've thought about it, but dismissed the idea as frivolous. Perhaps it would be nice to have one for those lighter moments.

You could go round the supermarket (with two of them - one in each hand) and swish along to to the muzak, or engage other shoppers in well loved favourites like Pedro the Fisherman, I am sixteen going on seventeen, or maybe something sophisticated and Latin American.

who knows it may catch on......whole crowds of people marching round Sainsbury's and humming Blaze Away as they go, and shaking their shakey eggs. we could have special days where we all shop doing a Fred Astaire medley.....

perhaps that's the real folk music...?

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: John Hardly
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 07:14 AM

Eggs-it ....stage LEFT!! --Snagglepuss

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 07:53 AM

"I've never seen a musical score that included the shakey egg, the Tropical Rainforest thingy or the Harley Davidson Black Phantom (think Meat Loaf) but hey!"

Benjamin Britten wrote a piece about St Nicholas that included, in the orchestra list: sleigh bells, duck quack and pop gun. I'm sure that if Shaky Eggs had been invented when he was alive, he would have used them!

LTS

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST,Northerner
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 08:26 AM

What a shame. I play shakey eggs and shakers. I also play the bodhran, or am starting to play it. I am also in a drumming circle, where I play the djembe; our drumming circle played on the main stage of the Middlesbrough Mela last year. I am keen on percussion and attend workshops to learn how to improve.   I do, however, spend more of my time learning how to be a storyteller, and improving my singing skills and repertoire.

Lighten up, folks! People have to start somewhere!!!

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Scrump
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 08:33 AM

Put it in a bucket of water. If it sinks, it's god. If it floats (as it should do as it contains air), it must be bad and should be thrown away.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Dipsodeb
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 08:51 AM

Blah blah blah give up! shakey eggs will never die ;-)

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Scrump
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 09:18 AM

Oops! I meant to type "if it sinks, it's good" (not "god" - I would have used a capital G to avoid charges of blasphemy).

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: jacqui.c
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 09:20 AM

Scrump - I reckoned the original post was better.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 09:42 AM

Put it in a bucket of water. If it sinks, it's god.

Worship the Shaky Egg... Bow down before it in low obesience, the Egg Who Must Be Obeyed!

LTS

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: jojofolkagogo
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 09:44 AM

SHAKEY EGGS ARE PROPER INSTRUMENTS - WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS

RUN IT DOWN !!!


Jo-Jo

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Scrump
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 09:46 AM

Maybe shaky eggs are proper instruments after all - they seem to have the saem effect on other musicians as banjos, melodeons and bodhrans :-)

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 09:54 AM

So how about the Rainstick then?

LTS - ducking and running for cover.....

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 11:38 AM

They sound great on Fixin' to Die Rag.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Stu
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 12:14 PM

They sound great under the heel of a rhythmically stamping boot.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 12:18 PM

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST,tubeman1
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM

The chicken and the egg go to bed for a spot of hows your father. Afterwards the chicken is having a fag with a smug grin on his face whilst the egg is looking rather gloomy. The chicken turns to the egg and says,well I guess we,ve answered the question then.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Don Firth
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 02:57 PM

Use them as a replacement for clay pigeons.

"PULL!"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 03:31 PM

The phrase "where the sun don't shine" comes to mind.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Kara
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 04:45 PM

Come on lads, if you've got a reasonable session going a a couple of rythmically competent musicians, surely a bit of egg shaking isn't going to do any harm.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:28 PM

That's a big *IF*, Kara.....(in Latin bands, they may be fine, but as mentioned above, trying to accompany Greensleeves in 6/8 times is grounds for .......ummmmm....severe repercussions

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: slowerairs
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 05:41 PM

Thanks for the link Don Firth. Completely forgot the thread was about shaky eggs, after listening to the wonderful renderings of the Corries. So mellow now, a hundred shaky eggs playing out of sequence
would not phase me.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 06:32 PM

the really offensive thing about shaky eggs is that they all sound identical. Now if you are a fiddler, you can distinguish yourself with your approach to phrasing and ornamentation. If you are a guitar playing, the way you harmonise is part of your own unique musical fingerprint. If you are a drummer, the worlds of melody and harmony aren't open to you, so choice of timbre is one of the few ways that you can put your own stamp on the music being made. So it follows that shaky egg abuse is a key pointer to small-brainedness - any thinking percussionist will make his own shakers - it's really easy dammit!

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Darowyn
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 06:43 PM

No they don't! I have eggs in different pitches, which I select to suit the song. I also modulate the EQ by cupping and opening my hand round them.
As I said before, the advantage of the egg is that being small, there is only a very short delay in the gravel inside crossing the space inside, so you can play the thing in time. I have a big Jamaican gourd shaker which sounds great, but plays up to a quarter of a second late - and the delay varies, making it impossible to play in time.

Cheers
Dave

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Old Grizzly
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 06:59 PM

Remember watching a fellow playing the shakey egg in a travellers Irish session 30 odd years ago, only back then it was half a box of non-safety matches.......I guess you can work out the rest......Laugh - I nearly bought my own beer :o)

Dave

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 03:57 AM

Hoffnung scored music for all sort of things, including a vacuum cleaner!

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Scrump
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 04:06 AM

Ah, Hoffnung vacuum cleaners. Better than Hoover but not as good as Dyson.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST,TheSession
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 04:34 AM

Some truly great ones here

http://www.thesession.org/discussions/display/7465/comments#comment160216

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 04:34 AM

50

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Stu
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 05:01 AM

Excellent thread on The Session - I missed that one.

If you shake your shakey hen apple during a slip jig to a reel rhythm do you end up with shakey egg on your face?

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST,TheSession
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 06:02 AM

Stig - you may enjoy these too!


http://www.thesession.org/discussions/display/1889/comments#comment33348

http://www.thesession.org/discussions/display/10545/comments#comment218261

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Stu
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 06:43 AM

Brilliant links - excellent site by the way : )

I wonder if anyone has thought of making felt eggs?

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 08:55 AM

Could be used for firming up the pelvic floor???

S

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST,Goatbeater
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 09:04 AM

Forgive the probably crass etiquete of answering a few of the threads in one post but I am supposed to be working and this is the result of an email from a mate.

Don Firth - re: the link - Thats some MoFo of a bohran your man plays.

Woodsie - you are obviously a shakey egg player MGFY (may God forgive you).

Guest; Northerner - but why do they have to find out they have no sense of rythm AFTER they've started playing in the session. Assuming they are sensitive enough to notice they have no sense of rythm. But then if they had any sensitivity they would not think about playing the dreaded egg.

FIRING SQUAD FOR DIPSODEB!!!!
Is there a clue in the name????

Now I'm going to try to change the thread 'cos what my good mate Stigweard has not told you is that alongside said one egg (shared by two people and a maraca, there is a ........WOODEN FROG, commonly known by us as the 'fekin wooden frog'

I would love to 'unlay' that as it has a ridged back. :-))))

Any other Ideas??

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Mr Red
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 09:05 AM

Annoy the banjo player

(yes it can be done though not for the faint-hearted)

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 09:20 PM

Shakey eggs and, for that matter, any percussion instruments, should be brought out at a session ONLY at the request of a song leader. Stringed instruments and voices are the heart of folk music and percussives can be a major pain-in-the-ear if not properly played. A woman whipped out a pair of spoons at a session I was in and the session broke up soon after. No one could think of a nice way to get her off them and no one wanted to hear them, either.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: synbyn
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 10:24 AM

Local Music store has also a variety of shaky fruits: lemons, oranges, cherries, pears- but for some reason no plums....

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 12:02 PM

As rattles go I'd have to say the shakey egg is undoubtedly the most versatile; the trick being to hold it in cupped hands, opening & closing to vary the tone & volume; hard (boiled) or else free (range) - the rhythmic possibilities are endless.

Mine own was gifted to me several Easters ago, since which time it has resided in a yellow wire spiral IKEA egg-cup, for which, I fear, it is rather too small.

Shame they don't come in different sizes, or even species; a shakey wren's egg would be nice, likewise a King Penguin (Penguin Eggs anyone?).

So there's a marketing idea for anyone with initiative to pull it off: authentically painted life-size shakey plastic birds eggs to flog around the festivals to families of ornithologically inclined folkies.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Anniecat
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 07:01 PM

We have some hen-grenade players (ladies) at the sessions in the Cross Keys in Wallingford. However, one of them is the extremely lovely wife of Bill McKinnon, and at least one of the others is heavily involved in organising the Wallingford Bunkfest, so any criticism of their instrument of choice WILL NOT BE TOLERATED---Okay ?? Signor Tottoff,
AKA Bubblyrat...( Anniecat is abed )

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Darowyn
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 07:27 PM

Look guys, if you are having problems with ill-trained percussionists, why not organise a workshop on the "Rhythms of Folk". Get your egg shakers and Spoon rattlers and Bodhran players along and charge 'em a fiver to learn how to play in time.
If they can do it, charge 'em another fiver for a certificate of competence which will allow them to take part in sessions.
If they can't, sign 'em up for more classes.
It's not a problem, it's an opportunity!
Stop being so negative. There are too many miserable people in Folk clubs.
That's exactly why I stopped going!
Cheers
Dave

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Celtaddict
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 07:35 PM

I agree with GUEST of 9:20 that percussion should be added only at the request of the singer. We have a world-class bones player in our area who is requested to take them out quite regularly, any time he is around. (The only time they come out without asking is at shanty sings when someone singing 'Johnny Come Down to Hilo' gets to the line "I ain't heard nothing but the jawbone since," and at that point people look expectantly at him anyway.) On the other hand, we also have a woman who often has a largish plastic jar of large, hard ibuprofen capsules and 'plays' it; the trouble is, not only is the size larger so the lag time longer, causing the rhythm to be off, it is vastly louder than the wooden eggs.
I wish we had more owners like the one Don Firth describes (10 Jan, 10:52). It would be good if someone were 'officially' expected to pass the word to those who add percussion to the point of distracting others from the song; I doubt anyone would be perturbed over adding them to, say, 'Sloop John B' but definitely an issue with 'The Great Silkie of Shule Skerrie.' A similar issue has been brought up with singing along; it is simply not always appropriate. I have attended a longrunning song session in the west of Ireland a few times, and when someone strikes up a ballad that does not have a chorus to join in, and someone starts joining in, there is a man who says, in a very dignified way, "One voice. One voice." People heed him, and respect it. It is very difficult for the singer to express this directly; it is easy to ask people to join in, but not easy to ask them not to join in until invited.
I have of course seen other instruments join in with a singer and it usually seems to work well; I am not sure how much of this is the nature of a session, of course, and how much relates to differrrent instruments being less intrusive or better handled; I am sure all three enter in. Some sensitivity and courtesy go a long way in making a session work for all; unfortunately these are very hard to teach and quite unrewarding to try to enforce.

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Slag
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 01:22 AM

Hey! How about---"And here's the EGG SOLO, take it away Egg Man!" and everyone stops playing while the guy shakes his thingy? Couple of Egg Solos ought to quell his ill-timed entrances!

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: jacqui.c
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 09:21 AM

Nice idea Slag, but, given the nature of the beast they would probably see that as total acceptance of their playing.

I think that using the egg for target practice might work though.:0)

Subject: RE: 101 things to do with a shakey egg
From: Celtaddict
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 04:18 PM

Slag, I love it!