BS: Lonely Hearts Club

Subject: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: GUEST,Regular but hiding my blushes
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 08:03 PM

There are a lot of lonely catters out there. How about a lonely hearts club or thread?

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Cluin
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 09:40 PM

Sounds self-defeating to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Brakn
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 10:03 PM

I'd rather be lonely - Loudon Wainwright

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: bobad
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 10:13 PM

Guest regular, I commiserate with you, loneliness is a sorrowful burden I wish I could do more than offer you cyber companionship.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Alice
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 10:18 PM

Isn't all of Mudcat a lonely club?

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Ron Davies
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 10:20 PM

If you were a member, other members could PM you directly--you could have a one-on-one exchange. Might be better than a thread you can bet would be hijacked.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Ron Davies
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 10:25 PM

Actually Alice, it's a lot more. Great source for musical and all sorts of other info. Debate club--if people can take it when it gets rough. Great humor (obviously not all--and sometimes inadvertent). I'm sure there are other aspects I've left out.

Music brings us all together--lonely or not.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Alice
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 10:30 PM

Yes, I know, Ron. I've been here almost ten years, seen it all.

Alice

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 10:31 PM

I am alone but not lonely. Guest,rbhmb, if you keep hiding you will remain alone and lonely.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Maryrrf
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 11:19 PM

Why don't you drop into Mudchat sometimes? There's usually company there!

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Mr Red
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 08:33 AM

It all depends on your preferred relationship.

Many &/or platonic we already have that.

One on one and platonic - beware posting e-mail/snail addresses -spammers trawl these sites for fodder.

One on One closer - I would suggest you arrange to meet at a festival (best) or club where you will have a common interest and something to be there for if the meeting is not all you expect.

Oh and if you do want a certain "blending into the melee" so as not to make the rendezvous obvious to lurkers (etc) don't do as I do

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: jacqui.c
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 08:59 AM

Kendall and I met through the Mudcat. We were both posting to a particular thread and I posted something that piqued his interest. He PMd me, I replied and it went on from there.

Why not try it if there is a 'Catter whose posts you find interesting? You might not end up with a romance but you surely would make more friends.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 09:06 AM

Be careful what you wish for. You may get it! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: jacqui.c
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 09:12 AM

Kendall! CELLAR!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 09:13 AM

Not again! Come with me, it's dark down there, and not much going on. No tv, no mudcat. Maybe I should think before I post.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: JennyO
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 09:13 AM

Beat me to it, Jacqui :-) Had it typed up, and then thought I'd better leave it for you.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 11:38 AM

Maybe it was Kendall and Jacqui's success story that prompted the mystery Mudcatter to post!

Rhiannon

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Folkiedave
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 01:32 PM

There may be others - I know of one Sheffield folkie who met her husband on the internet.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 02:41 PM

Internet connections are like charity shops. Everything in there was thrown away by someone, so, look it over very carefully. There's no telling where it's been!

Now, don't let that deter you, I once got a pair of LLBean loafers, brand new in a Goodwill shop for $5.00.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 08:00 PM

er. . . Kendall, aren't you supposed to be in the cellar?

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 08:08 PM

.... LLBean loafers,.... it is a wonder you ever get out of the cellar.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 08:09 PM

So what the hell are you saying Kendall? Are you comparing Jacqui to a pair of loafers? Or are you the charity case she got stuck with?   

We need to flag that last post of yours as Mudcat Weirdness in exttremis.

Let him have the whole place Jacqui.....We have plenty of room hereand the weather's better!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Alice
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 08:39 PM

Fresh Bongwater Pale Ale Click here

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Alice
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 08:49 PM

OOOPs, posted to wrong thread... that was supposed to be the BEER thread... LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Cluin
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 09:04 PM

Nope, I think it's in the right thread. Nothing's more sociable than a cold beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Leadfingers
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 12:06 AM

IF I ever met a woman who was daft enouh to want me , do you really think I would be daft enough to want her ?

Just to Misquote Graucho !

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: fat B****rd
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 05:45 AM

Are loafers wot we Brits call slip-ons ?

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Folkiedave
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 06:10 AM

Connecting across the ether is not really new. I went to a short lecture on the history of electronic communications.

It transpired that when the early telegraph was operating across the USA the operators could recognise each other by the way they keyed morse code. So at night time when the network was not so busy some of them began chatting and found out some were male and some were female. (I assumed this was something to do with time differences too).

The rest was history.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 06:36 AM

I THINK Tony Warren (ex partner in crime with Leadfingers in No Turn Unstoned) met his wife on the internet, but my memory might be playing tricks on me. Leadfingers?

Rhiannon

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: kendall
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 08:53 AM

LL Bean loafers are top quality shoes, the sort of thing you don't expect to find in a charity shop. Slip ons sounds right.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: jacqui.c
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 09:02 AM

There you are - top quality. That's what Kendall was talking about.





















Not a word about slip-ons Jacqui - just keep your thoughts to yourself and pretend you're a lady.......

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 10:41 AM

Has she got you painting the cellar yet, Kendall?

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Anne Lister
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 11:19 AM

I found my husband via the internet (not Mudcat) .. we met six years ago this week. Still totally soppy about each other.

The advantage to a lonely hearts thread is that you can be reasonably sure the people on it are at least looking for a relationship, whereas people contributing to a "normal" thread may be doing just that. You can't, however, be sure that the people on any thread are single or available or what they seem to be or even honest!

Good luck to all of you who are lonely and want to change things ...may this be the year you find what you're looking for.

Anne

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: kendall
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 12:13 PM

To avoid problems down the line, don't be afraid to ask the tough questions, such as:

Do you like sports?
What is your political affiliation?
Do you like folk music?
Who are your heros?
Are you single? Prove it.
and:
Do you like lobster?

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 12:51 PM

Had a good giggle there, Kendall.

Most people would do a runner if you ask them if they like folk music!

Also, how on earth do they prove they are single?

Rhiannon

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: kendall
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 01:54 PM

If they say they are divorced, ask to see the decree. If they are merely separated or never married, tread carefully.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: GUEST, Topsie
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 02:02 PM

My impression is that most people prefer to take their potential partner's word for it. They don't want to know that he/she is not available - that would present them with a dilemma. They would rather just carry on doing what they want to with a 'clear' conscience.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Alice
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 02:51 PM

Does anyone else look at the thread title and automatically think
Lonely Hearts Club......   Band
?

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 03:50 PM

Yep! *G*

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 03:55 PM

What would you think if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Alice
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 04:02 PM

Recently a friend who owns a gallery had a bass drum on consignment that was exactly like the one on the cover of Lonely Hearts Club Band. A guy was
selling it on consignment. He got it when it was offered years ago as a promotional item. I wonder what if finally sold for.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Scoville
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 04:09 PM

Tread carefully if they say they are never married? Why, are we never-marrieds really so abnormal that we have to prove it? How would I do that, anyway?

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: jacqui.c
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 04:16 PM

I can see what Kendall means - I got caught up with a married guy some years back (something that is totally against my own principles) - didn't know he was married as he said that he was single. That left me in a very unpleasant situation. After something like that you get to being less trusting.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: GUEST, Topsie
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 04:41 PM

At least one of the 'never married' men that I know does have a long-term partner, although they do not live together. This is where 'treading carefully' is advisable. Other women seem happy to believe the 'just old friends' story - people tend to believe what they want to believe - and then wonder why his 'old friend' refuses to speak to them any more.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 04:43 PM

I am considering becoming homosexual. As I am celibate, it really wouldn't matter. And, I hear they have excellent parties and good grub. Not that I am the party type, but, I do like a good scoff.

Are there any rules I should be aware of before I jump ship? I mean, if I switch from not jumping girls to not jumping guys, I want to make sure that I don't jump into the fire from the frying pan, eh!

Any advice?

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: jacqui.c
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 05:03 PM

LOL gnu.

You may have to do a total makeover of your home and, probably, your wardrobe.

Actually, you might find yourself in favour with the women who just want a male friend who can come somewhere toward undestanding their interest in clothes etc. You may also find yourself being chased by the women who want to 'convert' you.

Have fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: GUEST,Becca72 borrowing computer
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 05:17 PM

Do you like sports?   I love Ice Hockey & Heavyweight boxing. Nothing else.

What is your political affiliation? I hate politics

Do you like folk music? Yes I do. I was raised on it.

Who are your heros? My father (Kendall)

Are you single? Prove it. Yes. Ask my father. :-)
and:
Do you like lobster? LOVE it. Maine girl born and bred. (though I've never bred and I would like to keep it that way).

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Mr Red
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 05:30 PM

The only problem I found in using textual intercourse is that you fill-in the visual gaps and the meeting will reveal the visuals are not automatically what you imagine.

If you were in a singles bar/club or at a dance/festival the visuals would tell you a lot of what you select for. The thing about milling around in a physical environment is that you filter at a distance. With text you begin to form a relationship (at whatever level) before you start to filter. Nothing wrong with that, but you have to acknowledge this. And approach accordingly.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 07:05 PM

Hey, go for it, I have a friend who specialises in matrimonial law....

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 07:12 PM

Do you like sports?
Answer: I glaze over through half the conversations at work.
What is your political affiliation?
Liberal.
Do you like folk music?
Yes.
Who are your heros?
Captain Morse. I adore the old man.
Are you single? Prove it.
Yes. Why? I am not interested in marrying you.
Do you like lobster?
No but I am not against serving it.


I am perpetually single. Any man I have ever dated has had to fight against the tide re: the M word. So, Kendall is right. If you are looking for a permanent mate, a n always single man or woman is not likely territory.

gnu - First rule of your makeover: Don't drop the soap. But with a voice like yours you should at least be offering phone sex.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: kendall
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 07:48 PM

That's my girl!

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 08:46 PM

Hahahahaha. I think I'll stick to singing in the shower. And, like I said, I can drop the soap anytime cause there ain't no one to pick it up but me.

Lonely is the subject.... well, I have been lonely for a long time, but, I was lonely for a long time when I was married. I would rather be lonely alone than married and alone.

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: bobad
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 08:54 PM

"Lonely Boy"
(Paul Anka and Joe Dowell)

I'm just a lonely boy
Lonely and blue
I'm all alone
With nothin' to do

I've got everything
You could think of
But all I want
Is someone to love

Someone, yes, someone to love
Someone to kiss
Someone to hold
At a moment like this

I'd like to hear
Somebody say
I'll give you my love
Each night and day

I'm just a lonely boy
Lonely and blue
I'm all alone
With nothin' to do

I've got everything
You could think of
But all I want
Is someone to love

Somebody, somebody
Somebody, please
Send her to me
I'll make her happy
Just wait and see

I prayed so hard
To the heavens above
That I might find
Someone to love

I'm just a lonely boy
lonely and blue
I'm all alone
With nothin' to do

I've got everything
You could think of
But all I want
Is someone to love

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 09:30 PM

bobad, you left out the Whoowhooos

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 10:32 PM

gnu, you make an excellent point.

I was becoming invisible in a house full of people before my divorce. When my kids started treating me the way of their father's example, I knew it was time to get out and go back to being a full fledged human being again. It worked, and I got out before we hated each other. Getting involved with someone else again would probably drive that man nuts, because I'm not in any rush to complicate my life with a territorial relationship or marriage.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Anne Lister
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 03:52 AM

Both my husband and I had been long-term single, neither of us had married before or had live-in partners. We're both perfectly fine human beings. But if you're anti-relationships and not looking for a partner you wouldn't be likely to participate in a lonely hearts thread in the first place, unless you were trying to make life difficult for people!

As to the differences - yes, you might well get it wrong on line with the wrong mental image of the person, but you're more likely to know more about the way they think about stuff and less likely to be distracted by good looks, fashionable clothes and so on (and alcohol) than if you meet someone in a night club. Many relationships founder when two people suddenly realise the attraction between them was mis-placed, many people have told lies when meeting face to face as well as on line - meeting on line is pretty much like meeting in real life. Hey, it IS real life!
But it's good for people who, like us, met zillions of people in a working life without necessarily being able to sort out (a) who might be interested, (b) who might be available and (c) who we might have the courage to approach. Night clubs and singles bars were not the kind of territory we would have been comfortable in, and as a woman I found I was in huge demand and in total control when I came to "audition" all my potential men.

Still think I won the first prize, of course.

Anne

Subject: RE: BS: Lonely Hearts Club
From: Linda Goodman Zebooker
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 09:02 AM

I was in a marriage for almost 30 years, that was emotionally distant for more than half that time. Now I've been separated for several years with no thought of going back. I'm finding that contemplating the notion of a romance is very appealing, but I know that I don't want to commit to a real relationship again. My nature is to slip into 2nd rank when I'm in a relationship and I can only be my own person when not tied to somebody else. But before marriage, the end point, the driving force, of dating was to find that one special someone and get married. Not that it's not what I'd want, and I know it up front - dating would seem like a very strange thing to do. And yet I'm drawn to the idea -- I think it's how we are wired.
--Linda