Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?

Subject: Obit: Neolisms
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 09:26 AM

Not all new, but fun:
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit).
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole


RtS
(OK I'm number 16!)

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 09:36 AM

Thanks for the grins, Rog.

A

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Alba
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 09:47 AM

Nice way to start the Day, Thank you Roger.
I will read through the list again and come up with a number that I can identify with..

Have a good one
Jude

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 09:48 AM

Gave me a giggle - I liked Caterpallor.

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 10:13 AM

That would be Neologisms. You missed a syllable.

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 10:21 AM

Forbustus does not appear anywhere on Google.

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 10:49 AM

I needed a laugh. Thank you.

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 11:37 AM

Great! Thanks RtS!! And, I don't think you are a 16, at all!

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: gnomad
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:10 PM

Nah, neolism is just the new way of saying all values are baseless.

I like the lists, particularly the second one.

Brings to mind the word Testiculation [waving ones arms about while talking bollocks]

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:19 PM

Oh good, a place to put them when I make up a new one.

Such as:

PermaNewbie™

~S~

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: M.Ted
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:34 PM

Devised so that one day of the year at least, you actually look forward to seeing the Washington Post--

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:36 PM

Peni-Q: The intelligence demonstrated by males who think with their reproductive parts.

Guesswok: The effort to figure out the ingredients of a Japanese dinner.

Subemit, subemission: The act of creating a sample for use in fertility diagnostic procedures or the product of such act; applies to males.

Nocturnal omission: The failure of certain low Peni-Q males to show up in their appointed beds at night.

A

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:41 PM

epicurious - Always wanting to know the WHY of foods

epidemonologist - evil skin doctor

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:55 PM

Thank you Thimbles. I bet you like those from I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue* as well.
* UK Radio show.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 03:12 PM

Glad to see you're still losin' it Skiff.....and faster than ever as well!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 03:15 PM

Pachydermatologist...well, someone has be an expert on elephants who itch!

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 03:31 PM

Pachysandy:

a. a sugary biscuit popular among elephants(n.)
b. The main source of business for pachydermatologists, a condition of very large beds (adj.)
c. A kind of ivy with large leaves found in desert regions.

A

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 03:48 PM

"packysandy": Raggedy Ann's mate preparing to leave her.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Slag
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 04:00 PM

Mercy Bo-cups. That was just stupendulous (stunned and heavy hung).

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 05:38 PM

ANyone recall Thurber's take on neologisms?    He called them carcinomenclature.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: autolycus
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 05:41 PM

Just a note on the I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue reference.

   It's a BBC radio prog, "the antidote to panel games". the most consistently funny prog on BBC.

   They have a round called "Uxbridge Englsh Dictionary",where the panellists come up with new definitions of English words. Not Oxbridge(Oxford/Cambridge mix, but Uxbridge,a rather downmarket suburb.

e.g. 'Shellfish' - a bit like a shelf
       'Creche' - a car accident in Purley (a poshish place south of London.
       'soaring' - too much fruit in the diet.





       Ivor




       Ivor

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Wolfgang
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 04:48 AM

I'm still laughing.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: HuwG
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 09:15 AM

From ISIHAC and one or two of my own:

Raffia - Bohemian gangsters
Dichotomy - surgical operation to remove a Welshman
Apres-ski - plaster of paris
Hullabulloo - correct way to address a bear
Garbage - to rubbish another's style sense

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 09:33 AM

Thanks to Joe or another Mudelf for correcting my usual mistypings!

RtS

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:01 AM

Eustation -- a tube stop on the eyes, ears and throat line.

A

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:10 AM

Crustacean ...an above ground stop where there is a seafood restaurant..(I owed you one, Amos)

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:24 AM

Devastation--the train stop not for the hoi polloi

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:57 AM

defenestration - the last stop on the line.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 12:00 PM

Infestation -- The most crowded stop on the line, riddled with fleas.

Deduction -- what brings de heat from de furniss.

A

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 12:14 PM

debugs - what bothers most primates
details- what de cows use to swish away debugs

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 09:57 PM

defeat - what you use to walk with
deduct - a water fowl
defence - an enclosure
detail - see Bill D's entry

Used in a sentence:

Defeat of deduct went over defence before detail.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 09:58 PM

Bill, wouldn't it be crustation?

Hillarious - a small government mound in Washington D.C. (Capitol Hill)

Bodacious - Bo Derek in her younger years OR

Beaudacious - Beau Bridges

Ausintatious - saucy, hip town in Texas

Pal O'Verdi - friend of an opera composer

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 10:08 PM

demonize - to remove financial incentive

Je t'adore- it's COLD in here, stop letting in the weather!

constable - where the prisoners keep horses

renovation - when the Sun decides to get us again



(well, I was sleepy!)

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:27 PM

LOL!

Or,

Hillary'nUS in 2008!

Download - depressing haul for a fisherman

gainsay - good news from one's banker

e-lopement - a wayward, romantic email OR slightly slower than a galloping e-mail

beedazzler - one who charms the apiaary

googleographer - (someone think of something for this one, pleae?)

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:30 PM

googleographer-- someone who maps the path to the end of the internet with a satellite camera, and all the service costs you is having to see a few ads pop up

expledia-- the website for locating newly-constructed Centers for Scatology

Scatologist-- student of Ella Fitzgerald

~S~

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:32 PM

napQuest-- obivious, innit?

~S~

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:34 PM

Sorry-- an old one from Hardi-- gomorrahfied (another obivious one)

"Obivious" is not a typo!

And one from my son-- Canadia, where they speak Canadian. Say Canadia more than about 5 times in a month's time and you're stuck with it for life.

~S~

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 04:37 PM

Canadia...is that where Arcadians mine Vanadium?

(wow, it DOES tend to stick!)

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 04:59 PM

Canadia-- it SOUNDS right. Does that make my friends from there, Canadi-ish? Oh, right-- they'd be Canadaians. Which they ARE...... oy.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 05:25 PM

And here I thought my Rog was of Canuckian descent. (NOI=No Offense Intended!)

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 07 - 05:39 PM

Canadia -- a charitable organization for the benefit of abandoned tins.

A

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Jul 20 - 12:43 PM

I refreshed this thread because it is funny.

Also because I read this word today: Wasband. A male ex-spouse with whom you are still on friendly term. Rhymes with husband. Created by divorced folks who think Ex is too distant a term.

The word Nibling [gender-free term for niece or nephew], which I made up in my childhood, is worming its way into the vernacular, and was apparently coined decades earlier but I hadn't heard it at the time I made it up.

Any new words you like?

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Jul 20 - 02:39 PM

I used up most of my cleverness trying to keep up with 'spaw and Amos and wysi and kat...
thinking...

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Jul 20 - 03:01 PM

Wasband is handy if you no longer espouse the term "ex."

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Jul 20 - 04:27 PM

Nicely put!

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mr Red
Date: 24 Jul 20 - 04:34 AM

Bozone - how timely - we needed a word like that to describe  Haystack Central  !

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: meself
Date: 24 Jul 20 - 11:31 PM

Speaking of timely - one I cooked up a while back and have been trying to popularize ever since: "presidunce" ... explanation required?

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mr Red
Date: 25 Jul 20 - 03:24 AM

😂

next (pulleeeeeese) Presidump

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mr Red
Date: 25 Jul 20 - 03:31 AM

or did I mean Précisdunce? Well he was a Precedence (to put it mildly).

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Jul 20 - 12:58 AM

I call him the pResident.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mr Red
Date: 26 Jul 20 - 01:52 AM

Prezzydense?

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Jul 20 - 11:25 AM

As a side note, I often watch MSNBC at 10PM EST, and I can't remember Lawrence O'Donnell ever saying "President Trump"... he may refer to him 30 times in an hour, but always as just "Donald Trump"

I'd bet it's a calculated snub of the 'resident's legitimacy.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mr Red
Date: 29 Jul 20 - 01:46 AM

Do we call the last 4 years ................

The Endarkenment

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Jul 20 - 08:04 AM

Only if it ends at 4 years. Then, yes, a new Dark Age.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Tradsinger
Date: 31 Jul 20 - 06:33 AM

Cornish - a bit like corn.
Harpist - not conpletely drunk.
Tabby - big church in Yorkshire.

("I'm sorry I haven't a clue")

Tradsinger

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Neil D
Date: 01 Aug 20 - 12:17 PM

Catastrophe - Award given to a feline for winning the best butt contest.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Aug 20 - 03:08 PM

A friend of mine who did not grow up in the States had these two good ones:

Weaseling and dieseling [wheeling and dealing]

Burned to withereens [akin to smashed to smithereens]

Another friend who did grow up here had these 2:

Cuddly-sac [cul-de-sac]

Mazel tov cocktail [Molotov cocktail]

I know these are malapropisms but they were new to me, and I liked them so I say them now. Well, not the cocktail one, any more. Actually, withereens would count as a neologism.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Aug 20 - 03:41 PM

Disaster: what happened to a naked woman who sat on superglue...

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: EBarnacle
Date: 01 Aug 20 - 05:17 PM

Sorry, but a Mazel Tov cocktail is what celebrants imbibe after the champagne at a Jewish celebration.

Wealthfare is what is used to give money to the people who don't need it, at the expense of the 99%, usually part of a wonderful tax cut.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Aug 20 - 10:53 AM

From today's zoom meeting:

Post-paid years: working as a volunteer because no one hires you because you're old.

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mr Red
Date: 04 Aug 20 - 05:18 PM

Meanderthal. What serious walkers call people who want to take in the area at their own pace. IE not striding it out!

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 Aug 20 - 02:17 PM

Hah! And as a child I thought the neanderthals were jewish cavemen.