Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:36 PM

Peni-Q: The intelligence demonstrated by males who think with their reproductive parts.

Guesswok: The effort to figure out the ingredients of a Japanese dinner.

Subemit, subemission: The act of creating a sample for use in fertility diagnostic procedures or the product of such act; applies to males.

Nocturnal omission: The failure of certain low Peni-Q males to show up in their appointed beds at night.

A

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: M.Ted
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:34 PM

Devised so that one day of the year at least, you actually look forward to seeing the Washington Post--

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:19 PM

Oh good, a place to put them when I make up a new one.

Such as:

PermaNewbie™

~S~

Subject: RE: Neologisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: gnomad
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 02:10 PM

Nah, neolism is just the new way of saying all values are baseless.

I like the lists, particularly the second one.

Brings to mind the word Testiculation [waving ones arms about while talking bollocks]

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 11:37 AM

Great! Thanks RtS!! And, I don't think you are a 16, at all!

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 10:49 AM

I needed a laugh. Thank you.

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 10:21 AM

Forbustus does not appear anywhere on Google.

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 10:13 AM

That would be Neologisms. You missed a syllable.

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 09:48 AM

Gave me a giggle - I liked Caterpallor.

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Alba
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 09:47 AM

Nice way to start the Day, Thank you Roger.
I will read through the list again and come up with a number that I can identify with..

Have a good one
Jude

Subject: RE: Neolisms--Are You An Ignoranus?
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 09:36 AM

Thanks for the grins, Rog.

A

Subject: Obit: Neolisms
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 09:26 AM

Not all new, but fun:
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit).
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole


RtS
(OK I'm number 16!)