BS: Instituitional Humour

Subject: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 03:28 AM

Recently, I was wondering about all those little examples of institutional humour you run into scattered about. You know the kind of thing, the signs reading 'Geology Rocks', 'Astronomy is looking up' or even worse. Most are old enough to almost be folklore by now...

Any good ones?

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 04:05 AM

Telecoms men do it in nanoseconds.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 05:57 AM

Farmers are outstanding in their field.........that sort of thing?

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 06:58 AM

Teachers do it with class.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 07:04 AM

Old chemistry professors never die....



































They just smell that way!

Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 07:30 AM

D/Js are prone to slipping discs on turntables.
New chiropodists sometimes have trouble finding their feet.
Our butcher is a good man to meet.
The local policeman is an arresting character.
Our postman got the sack?

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: GUEST,ozchick
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 07:30 AM

dental nursing sucks

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 08:05 AM

Working for the Inland Revenue is a taxing profession.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: jeffp
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 08:36 AM

Epee fencers touch all over

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Micca
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 08:46 AM

Geoff, " thought it was"..... they just reach equilibrium and cease to react"
and in the same vein
" Old Physicists never die..















They just emit protons and decay"

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 08:50 AM

"Potters have balls of clay"

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Leadfingers
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 08:55 AM

Old Golfers never die ! They just lose their balls !

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 08:57 AM

Taxidermists can 'get stuffed'
The local Court Judge is a real case.
The optician is very focussed.
My hairdresser is quite trim.
The florist is a weed.
Our weatherman is dull.Our train driver went off the rails.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 09:16 AM

Old songwriters never die - they just decompose.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: jeffp
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 09:26 AM

Civil War shooters have steel rods and lead balls

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: kendall
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 01:07 PM

State prison inmates- We stamp out license plates.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: bubblyrat
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 01:16 PM

Leading English song-writer & musician John Tams collects humourous signs that he has encountered whilst "on the road ". My favourite is the one he saw outside Derby Royal Infirmary in Derby,England It said " FAMILY PLANNING----PLEASE USE REAR ENTRANCE "...

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 01:57 PM

I have a picture of that sign on my comp and a picture of the sign on Penrith Railway station which advises people not to stand too near the platform or they may get sucked off.   P/M me your E-mail address and will send pics of the signs if anyone wants them.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 02:18 PM

*LMAO*

Not seen either the Family planning one, nor the Railway platform one!

Georgian, I'm sending you my email addy!

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 03:21 PM

Old hairdressers never retire, they just dye away.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: pdq
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 03:37 PM

saying: The garbage man says business is picking up.

bumper sticker: Entomologists Get The Bugs Out!

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Rowan
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 04:34 PM

Three for archaeologists;
My career is in ruins!
Archaeology is just a load of old rubbish.
Archaeologists do it by trowel and era.

And an audiologist I knew, when inserting the soft polymer to take an impression of a person's ear for the hearing aid, would always say, "Get an earful of this!"

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 05:47 PM

Penrith Station (took me 11.4 seconds)

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 05:57 PM

I saw one on a trailer-mounted sign at a gas station in Oregon in 1975....

"An Archeologist's career lies in ruins."

It took me weeks to realize it WAS humor. Thought it was a sad story by the owner.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 06:00 PM

from an old carpenter: (intoned very slowly and seriously, holding up a 16 penny nail from his nail bag)

"Ya' know what a good deal is? A good deal is when you can trade...a nail...for a screw!"

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 06:21 PM

same old carpenter, standing in the hallway beside the open door where we were building new shelving for the storage of various samples by the Geology Dept.:


"Sorry for the mess and noise...we're just helpin' the Geologists get their rocks off...

(tiny pause)


the floor."

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 06:34 PM

GP during prostate exam: "That's just one finger but you can get a second opinion."

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 06:45 PM

Ebbie. I think old hairdressers just curl up and dye.

Subject: RE: BS: Institutional Humour
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 07:24 PM

Furniture manufacturer sign in Toowoomba:


MR STOOL

Stools made to order.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: bubblyrat
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 07:38 PM

Sign in Brothel---" Our Customers Come First "

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Rowan
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 07:45 PM

Bill D, the sense of "screw" in your "you can trade...a nail...for a screw!" is now widely understood even here in OZ but there was a time when it caused confusion and embarrassment here. Even until the late '50s, Australian slang for a good wage was "I'm on a good screw!"

But during the American occupation of Australia during WWII we were exposed to the US meaning, along with similar confusion about the term "fanny".

Thanks for reminding me.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 11:02 PM

Nurses/doctors do it with patience!

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 07:29 AM

Mathematicans work it out with pencil and paper.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 11:57 AM

Constipated mathematicians work it out with a pencil!

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: wysiwyg
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 12:00 PM

There is nothing funnier, or scarier, than the talk in the hearse on the way back from the graveyard, between clergy and funeral directors. I can't tell you though-- they'd have to kill me.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 12:03 PM

I wouldn't be seen dead in a hearse!

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 12:18 PM

Similarly, Susan, I know a woman who worked in the neo-natal intensive care ward at a hospital. The only way they could deal with some of the stresses and sadness was macabré humor. I heard a couple of the parody songs one time, and it was an eye-opener.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: jimlad9
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 12:33 PM

Do not get a job in the Electricity Industry the wages are shocking.

Undertakers are in a dying business.

Gynaecologists spend all day at the orifice.

My dad was in the Air Force when Pontius was a pilot.

There are old pilots and there are bold pilots,but there are no old bold pilots.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 03:30 PM

I once was a cashier in a methadone clinic for a few weeks. The johns in back were labled "the Lenny Bruce Memorial Restroom" and "The Janis Joplin Memorial Restroom".
                           Dean.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: The Walrus
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 03:56 AM

Seen in a metallurgical test lab.

"Mechanical testing can be fatiguing"

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Slag
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 04:23 AM

re the institution of marriage: "Anyone who gets married should be committed."

Digger O'Dell the Undertaker said "Well, I must be shoveling off. My business is really going in the hole. Things are dead around here. I've got to dig up some business. I miss the good times when we were picking them up and laying them down."

Submariners do it deeper than anyone.

F-16 pilots do it on a higher level.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 05:04 AM

I suppose the sign outside many UK Hospitals might fit into this category......
'Guard dogs operating'!
Or the one as you enter the airport...perhaps the last sign you see before you fly is 'Terminal'

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Michael
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 03:16 PM

Archemedes didn't have any principals; he just liked a good screw.
Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Michael
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 03:19 PM

And from a physicist I once knew:
Definition of sex - a couple oscillating in a field

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: GUEST,ib48
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 03:21 PM

Plumbing company in boro called R.C.AYRES

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 04:10 PM

Top pharmacists dispense with accuracy.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 02:45 PM

Macabré humor, BillD - it ties you in knots?

Practice safe snax - use condiments! (on the back of a cab in my town)

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Blindlemonsteve
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 03:07 PM

Someone sent me an email the other day with a genuine sign from the Northampton NHS trust saying "family Planning Advice - Use the rear entrance"   Says it all really!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 03:15 PM

As mentioned on the 22nd, I have that sign and the one from Penrith Railway station which says...well...which ...I can't put it on here but if you want it, PM me your E-mail addy and will send them both to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 05:21 PM

my link on the 22nd was not the sign you meant?

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 05:22 PM

"macabré"__ "macarame"??? BIIIIGGGG stretch!

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Blindlemonsteve
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 02:56 AM

Oh Yeh, i really should read these threads first, never mind, very funny though. i once saw a sign on a printer that said "Pen is stuck in printer". But the spacing between pen and is was too small.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 03:24 AM

i rthink i made this one up.


   Philosophers think about it.


      pedant alert. I think correctly it is 'focused', not 'focussed'.





       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 09:22 AM

Sorry Bill...must have missed your posting of the link..yes the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 10:54 AM

well, Philosophers DO think about it. Why do you think Kant wrote "Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysic of Morals"? ;>)

Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour
From: Michael
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 11:06 AM

I don't know, Bill D: give us a clue.

Mike