Computer haiku

Subject: Computer haiku
From: Ferrara
Date: 22 Mar 99 - 09:14 AM

If you look at the "To ALL Mudcatters ... " thread, you'll find two very funny sets of dog- and cat-related haiku. Here's another set, related to another of man's so-called best friends.

"Imagine if, instead of cryptic, geeky text strings, your computer produced error messages in haiku: "

A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek cannot be located but endless others can.

Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.

ABORTED effort: Close all that you have. You ask far too much.

First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully.

With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner.

Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.

Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down

A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.

Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that

Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here.

Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will

Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped.

Rather than a beep Or a rude error message, These words: "File not found."

Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Subject: RE: Computer haiku
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Mar 99 - 10:14 AM

WOW! Ferrara! EXCELLENT! I'll have to think on it!

katlaughing

Subject: RE: Computer haiku
From: Alice
Date: 22 Mar 99 - 10:36 AM

Here is the story of how Computer Haiku contest winners were hijacked from Salon Magazine.

The Case of the Hijacked Haiku

Click on "results" in the article, and you can read the haikus that were posted as winners in the contest, which were then copied and pasted, deleting the author's names, and spread throughout cyberspace.

The list includes:
-------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

-- Peter Rothman

---------

alice in montana

Subject: RE: Computer haiku
From: Ferrara
Date: 22 Mar 99 - 10:57 AM

Alice, thanks for the link. It's a good article. Also, it has another great haiku that predates their contest.

Subject: RE: Computer haiku
From: The_one_and_only_Dai
Date: 23 Mar 99 - 03:41 AM

I once won a competition with,

The words 'CON' and 'NUL' are reserved by the system. Don't ask. They just are.

But my personal favourite:

I'm a GPF - Press 'Ignore' or 'Quit' (...Ignore) Press 'Ignore' or 'Quit'

I guess you had to, er, be there.

Subject: RE: Computer haiku
From: Ferrara
Date: 23 Mar 99 - 10:57 AM

Great stuff, Dai! Does having an extra toe enhance poetic genius? :-)

Subject: RE: Computer haiku
From:
Date: 24 Mar 99 - 03:04 AM

This is not computer haiku; but there is a sign at the entrance of an indoor car park nearby: "Entry subject to conditions of entry"

Murray

Subject: RE: Computer haiku
From: The_one_and_only_Dai
Date: 24 Mar 99 - 03:39 AM

I have to point out that I can't take credit for the second of those haikus.

A friend of mine (who is available for amusing techy story telling at weddings and barmitzvahs) once wrote a large and elaborate system for BT, the telephone company here in the UK (and increasingly, everywhere else). It had a 'process abort' screen with the legend;

'Press any key to continue, or any other key to quit'.

Subject: RE: Computer haiku
From: SDShad
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 06:18 PM

And, as someone pointed out in the thread linked to above, these particular haikus do in fact have authors; someone meticulously removed all their names before sending them out on the never-ending chainmail grapevine. Thanks for posting them, Ferrara; I loved 'em. But let's give credit where due; I thought I'd go ahead and post the link to Salon given in the other thread, so that people can read these marvelous haikus from their original source.

Chris

Subject: RE: Computer haiku
From: SDShad
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 06:21 PM

Oops. Posted that to the wrong thread.

Sorry,

S.

Subject: RE: Computer haiku
From: GUEST,Gareth
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 07:12 PM

Interesting thought

Windows,

this calls for a parody of Eric Bogle.

"The Blue screen of Death"

I will try, but surely there must be better poets than me around.

Gareth