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Review: Worst Song by a professional musician

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Blindlemonsteve 31 Jan 07 - 03:22 PM
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Subject: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Blindlemonsteve
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 03:22 PM

This might raise a few surprises,,,, what the worst song you have ever heard, that was written by a proffessional musician...
Mine has to "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka.... oh my god, it´s pure torture...


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: alanabit
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 03:30 PM

We have had this thread a few times. Your candidate was the choice of many other posters!


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: oldhippie
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 04:11 PM

"Movin' Out" - Billy Joel


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Alec
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 04:22 PM

"Wiggle,wiggle" Bob Dylan.
Having lit the blue touchpaper I think I'd better stand well back.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 04:31 PM

To be interesting it'd have to be worst song by someone worth listening to in the first place. So "Wiggle wiggle" is a good choice.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Ken Brock
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 04:41 PM

To my ear, I think "Having My Baby" would work in counterpoint to the Pachelbel canon, and maybe the harpsichord break in "In My Life". I don't hae the chops to try it out.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: bill kennedy
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 04:46 PM

so many - wait there can only be one worst - so my vote is for

the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot

followed closely by Cols Missouri Waters by James Keellaghan


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: bill kennedy
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 04:46 PM

that's Cold Missouri Waters brrr, it's bad


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 04:55 PM

I agree empatically with all of the above, except Edmund Fitzgerald, which I think is an excellent song that achieves exactly what it is supposed to, and in a very atmospheric way. I don't Lightfoot was capable of writing a really bad song.

"Wiggle Wiggle" is pretty amazing (I mean in the bad sense), but Bob's done a few really odd ones from time to time. He can get away with that.

"Havin' My Baby" is also my choice for the absolute worst of all time. Go Paul!!!


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,, Bat Goddess at Work
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 04:58 PM

How about just about any traditional song done by a non-folk musician along with the Chieftains?

Linn


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Jim Lad
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 05:03 PM

Barret's Privateers by Stan Rogers.
Oh. I should've kept that to myself!


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: bubblyrat
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 05:09 PM

I realise that this may be tantamount to blasphemy to some of you, but Dougie Maclean"s " Caledonia" always makes me wince a bit . Sorry !!


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Jim Lad
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 05:14 PM

That's alright bubblyrat. You've taken the first step.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 06:00 PM

"The Old Man" and "The Voyage" are vomitous no matter who does them.

Don


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: number 6
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 06:07 PM

"Green Green Grass of Home" by Tom Jones.

biLL


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 07:37 PM

"Horse With No Name".


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Maryrrf
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 07:58 PM

I'll second "The Voyage"!


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 07:59 PM

My Dingaling by Chuck Berry is stupid, infantile and other things I won't mention. I saw old Chuck recently and he had his daughter on stage and sang it with her. I found it even more horrible to witness that spectacle than hearing it had been. And Chuck has written some of the greatest songs in rock n roll. Go figure.
Paul McCartney has written some real crap as well as some of the greatest pop songs of all time. How about "Someone's Knockin at the Door"? "Live and Let Die"?
Sting "Doodoodooodoo Dadadada". Need I say more?
How about Lou Reed? I loved the Velvet Underground, but for some reason the one song everyone wants to hear by them is "Heroin", an excruciating, headache inducing series of aimless sections which increase in pace and volume and just when you're sure it's finally over, Mo Tucker starts banging the redundant drum intro to yet another segment.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 08:04 PM

Any and all R&B/Rock covers performed by (tah-dah!) my favorite and yours...James Taylor.
John


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Ref
Date: 31 Jan 07 - 10:11 PM

Jeebus, the snark is out on this thread. You've gotta differentiate between "worst song" and "song I've heard too often." Being a Unitarian, I'd nominate "Spirit Of Life" in both categories. I know that Dave Barry did a big putdown of Edmund Fitzgerald, but c'mon. First, he's a Republican, which means he approves of Wayne Newton, and second, he was criticizing it as a pop song, which it ain't. And WHAT is the problem with Cold Missouri Waters. Keelaghan wrote it after reading "Of Young Men And Fire." It's a great song in that context. How about no more "This song sucks" unless you can give reasons why?


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Greg B
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 01:00 AM

How about 'Love Will Keep Us Together' by Neil Sedaka (credited
in the tag line by Captain and Teneille)?

Nearly anything by Barry Manilow?

I have to differ with 'Movin' Out' though. It captures some
really distinctive North Joisey-isms, especially if you've
every lived or worked in Bergen (Boigen) and Hudson Counties,
where you'll find Hackensack-ack-ack-ack. It addresses very well the
BS materialism which exists amongst terrible, crowded-together
aluminum-sided bi-level shoeboxes lining the Parkway. There,
guys really did take a second job tending bar in order to trade
in their Chevy for a Cadillac-ac-ac-ac. And if you recall just
what awful superficial pieces of junk Caddies were in the late
70's, the song really takes on new meaning.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 01:02 AM

I'd have to go with "Muskrat Love" and "Having My Baby".

A


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 07:16 AM

'When Did You Leave Heaven?' by the Bob, or ''Laughing Gnome' by David Bowie.

Dear oh dear.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Mr Red who is toooooooooo polite to cast asp
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 07:25 AM

Well this is the exact situation I trip out Sturgeons Rule

Theodore Sturgeon - Sci-Fi writer par excellance said
nine tenths of everything is crud

and by the same token and equally true is that only one tenth falls into the really good or really gawdawful. But I will challenge your 10% even without you having the information to rubbish my rubbish - if you see what I mean.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: kendall
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 08:01 AM

Achy braky heart, or I love a rainy night. Pure garbage.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 08:06 AM

After The Loving by Englebert Humperdink.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Ross
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 08:06 AM

What about Handels Messiah by the Wombles featuring Valerie Singleton?


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Scoville
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:08 AM

I like "Edmund Fitzgerald", but I'll have to second the vote for "My Ding-A-Ling". What a waste of magnetic tape.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Peter T.
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:13 AM

Deeply as I revere them, the Beatles, post Beatles, collectively have written more dreck per square inch than anyone I can think of. The grim part is that people kept buying the stuff in dwindling droves.

yours,

Peter T.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Scrump
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:15 AM

Any cover of a 1960s hit by a 2000s band.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Dave Hunt
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:15 AM

The late great Kenny Everett had a radio series of the (100?)worst songs ever - and God were they awful - I seem to remember one by Jess Conrad (This Jumper? or somesuch garbage)and the one that came top -(or bottom really) was a song about necrophilia. I do somewhere have a tape of the whole set of programmes - but where it is now who knows - and probably best left there
Dave


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Bill Kennedy
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:24 AM

"And WHAT is the problem with Cold Missouri Waters. Keelaghan wrote it after reading "Of Young Men And Fire." It's a great song in that context." In what context and how does context matter? Paul ANka wrote "She's Having My Baby" after finding out someone was having his baby. Is it a great song in that context? Keelaghan read a good book and wrote a LOUSY song, horrible lyrics, tortured to accomodate a simplistic rhyme and then ruining a goos song, "Shenandoah" by association, though no real connection between either in terms of events or period, too stupid a song to discuss. Likewise 'Edmund Fitzgerald' badly written, ridiculous instrumentation, a stupid simple meolody.

My vote for another is 'Take her in Your Arms' by Andy M. Stewart -
pure and utter dreck


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Wayne
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:51 AM

There are many songs that I like mentioned on this thread. Don't know what says about my taste in music!

Gordon Lightfoot is one of the greatest songwriters, I reckon, but he has given us the odd clunker to keep us on our toes (Canary Yellow Canoe? Spanish Moss?? Same Ol' Loverman???)but a few duff tracks in half a century is a pretty good strike rate.

More recently, Bellowhead's horrible version of Flash Company makes me want to punch strangers, and any of the deceased karaoke queen, Eva Cassidy cover versions are dreadful.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Mooh
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:53 AM

Billy Don't Be A Hero by whoever it was. Colour My World by Chicago. Yeah, and Having My Baby. Black Velvet Band by anyone who does it. Any number of new country songs.

Peace, Mooh.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Alec
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:54 AM

Paper Lace were the guilty parties, Mooh.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Elettra
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 10:10 AM

Anything by Bobby Goldsboro, especially "Honey". Ugh.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Wayne
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 10:16 AM

Slightly surprised that Seasons in the Sun hasn't reared it's syruppy head yet! Having said that it's parent album is chock full of excellent songs. Decent writer, Terry Jacks.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,porkchop
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 10:22 AM

"Afternoon Delight"

I get sick just saying it.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Scrump
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 10:23 AM

The late great Kenny Everett had a radio series of the (100?)worst songs ever - and God were they awful - I seem to remember one by Jess Conrad (This Jumper? or somesuch garbage)and the one that came top -(or bottom really) was a song about necrophilia

I think the latter was "I Want My Baby Back" by Jimmy Cross (where he digs up his girlfriend's grave after she was killed in a car or motorcycle crash).

The Jess Conrad one was called "This Pullover". There was an album issued with the "World's Worst Records" voted by the listeners to the show, and Jess Conrad had two or three tracks on it, more than anyone else.

Actually I liked one or two of them, like the Trashmen's Surfin' Bird, and Transfusion by Nervous Norvus. Maybe I shouldn't admit it but what the heck.

See this site for details of the records played on the shows.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Willie-O
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 10:29 AM

This thread exemplifies why I don't spend much time around here anymore. Again and again and again someone thinks they're clever by starting a thread to put down "Having My Baby"--which like most of Mr Anka's material is just as awful as everyone says it is. Pointing that out doesn't make for insightful reading.

If you were half as clever as you thought you were, you would start by learning to spell "professional".

Anyone who thinks "Cold Missouri Waters" isn't one of the greatest contemporary ballads, let alone that it's the worst anything: I challenge you to do better with the story. Wait, what's that I hear? Silence? Huh, what a surprise.

Gosh, I'm surprised none of you critical geniuses has gotten to "McArthur Park" yet, at least this time around.

Finally, if you must recycle this thread concept, realize that terrible songs are still being written and broadcast as we speak--by "proffesionals" like Gordie Sampson. "Jesus Take The Wheel" totally cracks me up every time I hear it (too often, even though I avoid those "No Country" stations like black ice or the Bates Motel.) Not only one of the worst songs, but definitely the worst winter driving advice ever!

Pray continue, without me.
W-O


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 10:46 AM

I Love You Just the Way You Are by What's His Name.

What the lyrics actually mean:

"Don't go trying some new fashion,
Costs me money,don't you know
Keep on wearing those old rags
I love you just the way you are.

Don't want clever conversation
tum tum tum tum tum tum tum tum
Just want someone that I can talk TO
I don't wanna be bothered with what's on YOUR mind.


Plus,he sings flat.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,GordonT
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 11:02 AM

Little Boxes by Pete Seeger.Usually your hear the live version with an audience of smug middle-class lefties tittering in the background.
Horse With No Name,that someone above mentioned is bloody awful too,because of its pretentiousness.
Black Velvet Band is often murdered because people are under the misapprehension that its an irish song,(its english)so they copy the Dubliners' ghastly interpretation.Its one of those songs that is great to sing - but not always so great to listen to.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Jim Lad
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 11:03 AM

Willie Oh!: You'd have been far more effective if you could have just resisted the temptation to add one more song to the list.
Hey! I played for Gordie's grandmother a couple of times. His mother and aunts all sing a song "The Night Watchman" (similar theme to "The Curtains of Night"). Beautiful piece of work, as are all of the ladies mentioned above.
Come back Willie. We'll miss you.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Bee
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 11:49 AM

I'll agree with Willie's choice though - what was Gordie thinking, what with the black ice we get around here! Followed by 'Okie from Muskogee', which I've loathed since the first time I heard it.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Bill Kennedy
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 12:49 PM

Little Boxes is by Malvina Reynolds, not Pete Seeger

W-O if the world NEEDED a 'ballad' (sic) about fire jumpers, any number of people might write a better one, BUT your's is like the republican/Bush argument to the democrats to come up with a better solution to Iraq. It ignores or attempts to divert attention from the problems they created. Someone's ability or lack thereof to write a better song would have nothing to say about the quality of the song itself in question by Mr. Keelaghan, which stinks, in my humble opinion.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: oldhippie
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 06:40 PM

Aw, Ref, I don't agree. I'm a Unitarian also, and "Spirit Of Life" is a favorite. Carolyn McDade is a fine writer. I think the worst song encountered in Unitarian groups, and probably the most oversung, is an African circle chant "Tue Barima".


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Bugsy
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 06:58 PM

TEDDYBEAR!! & TEDDYBER'S LAST RIDE by Red Sovine!

When I used to run a folk club in Perth West Aus, I played "TeddyBear" on the house cassette player just before the break, with a remark like,"If you think that Folk Music has some songs to slit your wrists by, get a load of this!" by the time we got half way through the song half the audience was rolling on the floor laughing.

CHeers


Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Teresa
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 07:00 PM

William Shatner's version of "Rocket Man". :-P

I love it,because it's the worst thing I've ever heard.

Teresa


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: fumblefingers
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 07:08 PM

"Transfusion" by Nervous Norvus, circa 1955. The worst rock and roll song ever written or inflicted on the public.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Elaine Green
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 07:15 PM

And now for the ultimate blashphemy, and this from a true Dylan fan, who thinks he ranks with Shakespeare and has no other peers.

Here it it - EVERYTHING on Nashville Skyline.

Running and hiding, now!


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 11:26 PM

Now ain't that interesting. Nashville Skyline is the one Dylan album I liked most of. "Lay Lady Lay" being an exception.

Regards "Seasons In the Sun". Didn't Jacques Brel write that song? My bad French recalls it as Le Moribund. The Kingston Trio covered it and if I recall Terry Jacks, version it was greatly sanitized. Not that I'm over fond of the song but credit where credit is due.

Don


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: iancarterb
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 11:26 PM

The Ballad of the Green Berets. Hands down.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Peace
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 12:51 AM

"YMCA" by the Village People. Fawk. Make that ANYthing by the Village People.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: eddie1
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:51 AM

Anything at all recorded by Cliff, make that Sir Cliff Richard, after "Move It" which was a classic.
Top of the midden must be the "Millennium Prayer" followed closely by his version of Eva Cassidy's version of Judy Garland's "Somewhere Over The Rainbow"

Eddie


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Blindlemonsteve
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:59 AM

Willie oh, sorry for my mis-spelling of Professional, I´ll take my English teacher to task when i get to heaven, I dont think i´m clever and was not starting this thread to provoke thought, merely to have a bit of fun, which everyone seems to be doing. Also, i am a new member and not aware of previous threads. anyway, I totally agree with McArthurs Park, absolute dross, and anything from that odius little cretin Daniel o´donnel, he really makes my skin crawl.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Elaine Green
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 03:38 AM

Ha ha! 'Ballad of the Green Beret' is a good one. When I first heard the lines "Fighting soldiers from the sky/Fearless men who jump and die," I instantly had a mental image of marines on Paris Island leaping off the top of a tall building and plunging to their deaths below. With that sort of masterful elliptical writing, I didn't realize until later that they probably had parachutes!

Semper Fi!!!


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Scrump
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 04:04 AM

The Birdie Song
Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep
Orville's Song

or any other crap songs to do with birds :-)


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: HipflaskAndy
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 04:44 AM

Saw the thread title - found many of my 'first choices' to be sent to Room 101 already get mentions above... Drat!

Homed in on the Beatles reference - so true there matey!
Had me consider just one of them for a moment...

P McCartney
....that bloomin awful 'Frog Chorus'...
and that worst ever Xmas song he did (thankfully forgotton the title).... and others
Grrrrr - he wrote many good un's but never excercised quality control.
Cheers - HFA


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Blindlemonsteve
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 05:03 AM

Eddie 1 a bit harsh on Sir Cliff, i think he´s had many fine records, its his image and dancing that make him naff. his early rock n roll was absolutely superb, then he done "Living Doll" oh dear. it was down hill all the way untill 1976 when he released the superb album "I´m Nearly Famous", guided by the great Bruce Welch, he had a string of amazing records, including the spine tingling "Miss You Nights". Then he sacked Bruce Welch!!!!! then he hasnt done anything of any significance since. although there were a couple of decent tracks on his last album, notably "1000 miles to go". But yo do have to get past the image, and that is a big problem. As for "Millenium Prayer" it really was a bad idea, it sounded like it was nailed together. But i do like the Gospel Choir bit, i think if the lords prayer hadnt been involved it would have been a great record to see out the millenium with.
In his defence, at least he tried to do something musically to mark the end of a millenium, lots of people knocked him for it, but where were the other big names in music. We ended up with "Westlife" and a re hash of "Seasons in the Sun" as the no 1 record to lead us into a new millenium......need i say more about the state of pop music in Britain.
I love going on the Cliff Richard website and stirring up theyre forum, its great fun and i suggest you all try it.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 05:23 AM

'Smoke on the water' by The Harri Watts Band.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Scrump
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 05:54 AM

Sir Cliff's Millennium Prayer: although I hate it myself, I admired him for standing up to EMI and having the courage of his convictions on that occasion. For those who don't know, he had the idea of recording this song (the Lord's Prayer set to the tune of Auld Lang Syne) and EMI, the company he'd been with all of his 40+ year career, vetoed it. He went ahead with his idea anyway and made the record with another company, and it was a No. 1 hit.

So although I hate the record, I think it was great to see him give two fingers to EMI and prove them wrong :-)


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Kara
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:08 AM

I am some what shocked by this thread, Billy Don't be a hero is a great song and anything that has been mentioned here has to be good enough that you remembered it's name. Barry Manillow wrote the Cocacabanna, or however you spell it, that makes him excusable for any other things he might do. If you want to listen to bad bad songs just check out Chanson Français done by Jane Berkin now that song Idem, now there is a truley bad song. No tune, the words are just a list of dead people and she really can't sing. Now her daughter is at is as well. Where will it end?


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Alec
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:09 AM

"McCartney...never excercised quality control" I think a large part of the problem was that Lennon & McCartney were each other's quality control.McCartney's best post-split songs have been every bit as melodic as before but trite lyrics have been the rule rather than the exception.
Lennon's 'seventies output retained his capacity for perceptive &/or biting &/or witty lyrics but,all too frequently,these came trapped inside unimaginative & unadventurous melody lines (his weakness for overproduction didn't help either)
To redress the balance I would suggest none of the following would disgrace any record collection:
Lennon:John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band,Imagine,Rock 'n' Roll
McCartney:Band On The Run,Run Devil Run
Harrison:All Things Must Pass,Brainwashed.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Mooh
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:36 AM

"Billy Don't be a hero is a great song and anything that has been mentioned here has to be good enough that you remembered it's name." Kara

Well, if you say so, but the real reason I remember its name is because it's BAD enough, not good enough. More than merely forgetable. That goes for many other songs mentioned here, like McAuthur Park, and Ballad of the Green Beret.

Perhaps we have too many threads about this?

Peace, Mooh.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Kara
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:39 AM

McArthur park, beautiful especially the Donna Summers veresion
xxx

Kara


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Alec
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:40 AM

I remember "Long Haired Lover From Liverpool" AND "Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep." I wish I didn't.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:53 AM

"White Hare" by Seth Lakeman


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 08:17 AM

Coward of the County by Billy Edd Wheeler, popularized by Kenny Rogers.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Scoville at scanner
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:09 AM

"The Logical Song" by Supertramp. Well, pretty much everything by Supertramp, really.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Scrump
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:33 AM

Anything Gary Glitter or Jonathan King put out is pretty disgusting.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,kenbrock
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 12:28 PM

I just realized that it wasn't Paul Anka's "Having My Baby" that I was thinking of as likely working in counterpoint to the Pachelbel Canon and the harpshichord break in "In My Life". It was its "prequel" (of sorts), "I Don't Like To Sleep Alone".


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: SouthernCelt
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:18 PM

I have to vote for "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" by Dylan and whoever else covers it. I find it to be just a boring, overly long song.
SC


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,harryrages
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 03:00 PM

Nobody ever heard 'Young Girl' by Gordon Giltrap obviously. Cringe factor 10.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Bugsy
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:37 PM

"Tie a yellow ribbon"

Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Ref
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 09:14 PM

Oldhippie:

I must say I'm middling on McDade. She's done a couple of nice ones (Peace like An Everflowing Stream) but I loathe Spirit because 1. The tune is weepy, 2. the words aren't MY theology, and 3. as a UU, I hate anyone telling me that I have to like something, and way too many UU's have this presumption that we all love Spirit Of Life. I also once read an interview with CM who came across to me as incredibly and baselessly self-important, an impression confirmed to me by an acquaintance who actually knows her. Beyond that, our hymnals are full of unsingable dreck written by people who seem to be in possession of compromising photos of the editors. Haven't heard the other piece you mentioned, but I look forward to hating it. Most chants and rounds are to choral music as puns are to humor.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 09:40 PM

Peace-

Wasn't "Washington Square" the instrumental done by the Village People? Any tune that can worm its way into my brain as well as that one for over 40 (?) years is, in my opinion, a credit to its generators.

I also have to agree with WillieO that this dumping on songs for superficial reasons (you've heard it too many times or you didn't compose it) doesn't add a whole lot to the Mudcat intergalectic archives. Consider before you post. What do you really want generations of Mudcats to read of your thoughts and opinions.

And do learn how to spell "professional" or at least how to correct your thread title if you make a typo.

Charley Noble, in his lecturing mode


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Peace
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 09:47 PM

Good Lord, Charley. OK then, except THAT one.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Blindlemonsteve
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 03:18 AM

Hey guys, whats an extra "F" between friends.
I think the whole idea of the worst song is that you always remember a good song, and you never forget a bad one.
Anyone heard "Mamas Children" by Carl Perkins. music to have your teeth pulled by


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: oldhippie
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 06:32 AM

Ref, "full of unsingable dreck" I can agree with. There are many that could be replaced by other songs, and we wouldn't miss them at all.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Ref
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 06:20 PM

Oldhippie, agreed. I'd add that the recent hymnal took some songs from the old blue one and ELIMINATED harmony parts, decreeing that they must be in unison. Appalling. Perhaps we should start a hymnal thread for UU's and we can then present the editors with evidence and suggestions?


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 07:02 PM

I agree that Kenny Everett is GREAT - I did not know he was late - sad.

Having my Baby is a disgusting song that will encourage young women to carry unwanted and unplanned for babies. YUK.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Peace
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 08:31 PM

There isn't a young woman toady who would listen to the song.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Bubba
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 08:37 PM

Even thought I am a great Dylan fan, I can admit that he has written his fair share of dreck. Knocking On Heavens Door was written for a movie soundtrack. Many times a song is written for a specific reason so it was a good song for that movie or whatever but a crummy song on the radio. Does any of this make sense to anyone or am I babbling again?


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Eric the Streetsinger
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 11:17 PM

There was a song by some young female singer that was on the radio way too much a few years ago - can't remember the girl's name - had this snappy/sappy piano hook that opened it, and had a line sorta like "if I could fall - into the sky- I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you." Cheesy sentiment, and one of those horrible hooks that you hate but can't get out of your head.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Genie
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 11:28 PM

I think Paul Anka's "Having My Baby" would have to be right up there with the worst.


Genie

PS, Bindlemonsteve, if the misspelling in the thread title could be corrected (by a Joe Clone), it would make the thread easier to find in a "Forum Search." ;)


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Peace
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 11:31 PM

Artist: Vanessa Carlton

CD: Be Not Nobody (2002)

A Thousand Miles

Making my way downtown
Walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And wonder if you ever think of me
Cause everything's so wrong and I don't belong
Living in your precious memory

Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by, oh
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight

And I, I don't wanna let you know
I, I drown in your memory
I, I don't wanna let this go
I, I don't

Making my way downtown
Walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way through the crowd

And I still need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass us by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you, oh, oh

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you tonight


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Cruz
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 11:42 PM

Hey Peace,

What kinda chick is a "young woman toady"?


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Maxine
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 12:23 PM

Well, Blindlemonsteve - your misspelling of 'professional' certainly upset Willie O....perhaps before you add to a thread again, you should consider taking an A' Level English course? It seems to me we're all on this forum to chat, give comments that seem appropriate/important to us and generally put the world to rights - surely nobody really wants to cause offence or upset - particularly over spelling!!

Rant over...

Can't agree with Gordie's 'Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald' I'm afraid. The man can do no wrong in my eyes. Yes, the song could be perceived as long and the tune perhaps a tad repetitive but it's telling a tale - a true one at that - and that's just fine by me.

Can't bear 'Zoom' by Fat Larry's Band - everytime I happen to switch the car radio to Magic, that's playing. Having said that, I know every word! Sad.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST,Pammibod
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 01:40 PM

Can't remember who mentioned Daniel O'Donnell, but his rendition of "Danny Boy" gives me the reflux retches. Trouble is, every time the market comes to my home town, one stall plays his noise (hesitate to call it music) at deafening pitch. Gues who buys her veg from the supermarket...


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Don Firth
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 02:03 PM

Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey." Requires air-sick bag.

Actually, I kinda like Richard Harris's rendition of "MacArthur Park." It's weird!!

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: kendall
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 07:51 PM

A Little bitty tear by Buryl Ives.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 10:12 AM

That dreadful son about the Unicorn by the Irish Rovers. Amazing Grace on the bagpipes, by anybody and Van Morrisons version of Send In the Clowns. AND Bryam Ferry's horrible album of oldies.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Scoville
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 10:49 AM

Ran across my recording of Bob Wills doing "Roly Poly" ("Daddy's little fatty . . . ") the other day. Must chalk that up to genuinely bad music, too. Well, the SONG is awful. I don't see how much anyone could do with it.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Ross
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 10:55 AM

No mention of William Shatner

Is this confirmation of his genius?

David Soul - 'Don't sick up on me baby' or something similar


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 11:59 AM

I've mentioned this on other threads in the past bu Saint Lonnie of Donegan's "World Cup Willie" is his worst and up there with the other favourites.

RtS


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 01:51 PM

Peace-

Apparently it was the Village Stompers who did "Washington Square," not the Village People. I owe you and the Village Stompers an opology.

If I could delete a song from this world it would be "Sonny's Dream" but apparently I'm the only Mudcatter that finds it sentimental claptrap.

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a proffessional musician
From: Jim Lad
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 03:06 PM

Not the only one, Charley.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Leadfingers
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 07:47 AM

Surely if you want to list bad songs by professioanl musicians , all you have to do is list the top twenty popular records each week !


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Leadfingers
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 07:47 AM

Or am I being just a little too cynical ?


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Mooh
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 08:32 AM

It's kinda fun to do a YouTube search for some of these. I looked for Billy Don't Be A Hero and discovered my memory was faulty...the song is worse than I remembered! No link 'cause that would be like contributing to suicide.

Peace, Mooh.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 08:36 AM

I wonder if someone has adapted "The Wolves of Willoughby Chase" to music?

Charleyt Noble


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Scrump
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 08:52 AM

I think as stated near the start of this thread, we can all think of crap songs by crap artists, but what might be more interesting is a list of crap songs by (otherwise) good artists. For example, the Beatles are widely regarded as the greatest pop group ever (or similar hyperbole) and they undoubtedly made some classic pop records - but they were also responsible for some garbage. How about Revolution No. 9, or Why Don't We Do It In The Road? Or Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey?

And Elvis churned out a fair amount of pop pap in his time, especially a lot of the stuff from his movies, which were just dashed off as album fillers.

And as ever, this is all subjective. One man's crap song is another's classic. And, to add to the confusion, some songs are so bad they're good!


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Ruston Hornsby
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 02:59 PM

What about "This Pullover" by Jess Conrad - complete with an accordion solo. It made it onto the Kenny Everett "World's 20 Worst Records" compilation BUT it originally came out on Decca - the label who turned down the Beatles. A Jess Conrad CD is now available "Jess for You" which is a re-ssue of his only(?) album plus all his singles. OK, yes, I couldn't resist it, and he is..er...pretty consistent throughout. Good fun, though.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Cruiser
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 03:25 PM

I never heard that song before and very glad that I somehow missed it while I was serving in the Army. Thanks, I think, Mooh for letting me learn of this great "classic" song.

Bily Don't Be A Hero YouTube Video


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Mooh
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 09:16 PM

Um, you're welcome, but I AM sorry if I've caused you any pain.

Peace, Mooh.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Jump 17
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 11:45 PM

"Keelaghan read a good book and wrote a LOUSY song, horrible lyrics, tortured to accomodate a simplistic rhyme and then ruining a goos song." I sense a little snarky elitism here.

Keelaghan's "Cold Missouri Waters" is essentially a hymn to those of us in the wildland fire community; it commemorates our brothers lost on a Montana hillside. Far from tortured lyrics, it sends a chill up my spine everytime I hear it - perhaps because I've spent time with those crosses in Mann Gulch, and the song is historically accurate for the most part. While it may not be the most musically complex song ever written (your standard key of D number), it does resonate with those of us who risk our lives in the wildland firefighting profession: whether jumping, rappelling, hotshotting, helitacking working on an engine, or groundpounding.      

My vote - concur with "Having My Baby."


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 02:04 AM

"Ballad of the Green Beret" is a good candidate.

I'm kind of partial to the destruction of all copies of "Thank God I'm a Country Boy"


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Mark H.
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 03:34 AM

"Every Breath You Take" by the execrable Sting. Dull, plodding, cliched chords, words that are puerile and unpleasant without any redeeming menace. Utter drivel.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: The Sandman
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 06:29 AM

return to sender,Elvis Presley,
Rock around the mulberry bush,BillHaley
Cliff Richard SummerHoliday


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 11:12 AM

"Return to Sender" shouldn't be included, as Elvis recorded many, many songs that were inferior to that song.
   Of course, this whole exercise is a subjective thing; for example, I bet some would say that "Wonderful Tonight" is the best song ever recorded by Eric Clapton, while many would say it's the worst!


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Peace
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 06:14 PM

Knock Three Times.

It would gag a maggot.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Peace
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 06:15 PM

Muskrat Love


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 06:22 PM

This thread has made me reconsider "Ballad of the Green Berets." Sgt. Sadler wasn't really a professional musician so I guess we'll have to excoriate him in a different thread.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,van lingle
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 05:59 AM

"Billy the Kid" by Billy Joel makes me cringe when I hear it over the grocery store P.A. Stinks so bad it'd knock a buzzard off a shit wagon. (Not to be confused with the great old ballad of the same name done by Woody, Ry Cooder and many others, I suppose.)


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: guitar
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 07:09 AM

Any song that is in the charts and rap 'music' it is shit


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: BanjoRay
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 08:06 AM

"Where Do You Go To My Lovely" by Peter Sarstedt has made me cringe for so many years. (shiver!!)
Ray


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 08:29 AM

Banjo Ray: Why does it make you cringe? Here's the story. Young girl, brought up in poverty in backstreets of post-war Naples, somehow manages to radically change her life so that she turns herself into very desirable, ultra-chic jet setting beauty who mixes with the rich and famous. The narrator of the song - who knew her back in Naples - tells us that, for all her veneer of sophistication, he still knows - or thinks he knows, that she is still haunted by memories of her deprived childhood. All this is conveyed with a good arrangement, nice melody , and is well sung.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 04:24 PM

There's a whole album of them called "Rogues Gallery"


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,squeezer
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 09:03 AM

The tune of "Where Do You Go To, My Lovely" is spoiled by the lyrics. Use it for Black Velvet Band instead.
Almost an improvement! :-)


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 01:11 PM

squeezer: What is about the lyrics that you don't like?


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: PoppaGator
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:03 PM

Well, I agree with many of the nominations and disagreee with a few others. I won't belabor the obvious (e.g., I don't like "Having My Baby," "Green Berets" or "MacArthur Park" any more than the rest of you), but here are a couple of thoughts:

What's so terrible about James Taylor's r&r covers? Of course, I'd rather listen to (for exaample) Marvin Gaye sing the original "How Sweet It Is (to be loved by you," but JT does a nice job covering it, and his rendition is probably closer to how I would deliver the song.

More to the point, the chords available for this song in a James Taylor Songbook are far superior to anything I could figure out for myself and to anything available on the internet. They are definitely identical, or very close, to the original Motown arrangement. So, I am glad James Taylor recorded the song because that was the ciritical first step of a process that resulted in my access to a good arrangement for a song I want to perform! (I won't necessarily be imitating JT's blue-eyed-sould vocals, not directly; but I do recognize that my interpretation of Marvin's work won't be perfect, and if I prove, despite my best effforts, to be no better than James Taylor ~ well, there's no shame in that.)

Also:

I'm finding that, as I age, I can now enjoy certain songs that were popular during my youth but that I didn't like at the time (or, at least, wouldn't admit to liking).

During the mid-1960s, I was very much a folk-music snob, and was starting to snobishly reject even some of the more pop/commercial areas of "folk" in favor of an exclusive embrace of hard-core blues, and maybe a bit of other non-blues stuff if old and authentic enough. Up through the later 60s, I came to really enjoy and champion, first, electric Chicago-style blues and, eventually, folk-rock and psychedelia as well as Memphis and Detroit soul (and, I suppose, Philly soul as well). But most of the unavoidable top-40 pop music that formed the inescapable aural "wallpaper" of my life in those years was stuff I flat-out rejected.

Nowadays, when I hear some of those records, whether on a "classic rock" radio station or in the soundtrack of a movie, etc., I really like them. Part of the appeal, certainly, is simple association with memories of my youth, but I often find that, having shed some of my prejudices, I can appreciate the singing, arrangements, musicianship, production, etc.

Examples: "I Fought the Law (and the law won)," "Secret Agent Man," "Build Me Up Buttercup." There must be other (and undoubtedly better exmaples, but that's all I can think of right now...


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Stringsinger
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 02:09 PM

No one has mentioned "Feelings". "Woh woh woh feelings" has an insipid cliched Frenchified tune and a lyric that doesn't mention any reason for having feelings about anything whatever. The feelings are not really identified or explained. I believe a song has to be about something that is recognizable. Some of the above songs mentioned I think are a matter of opinion rather than whether or not the song adds up to anything.

The "Fitzgerald" song by Lightfoot is about something in a story frame. I don't agree with anything about the "Green Beret" song but at least it is about something (I don't like).
Same with "Having My Baby" is at least a song with a pov although it's content is deplorable.
Many of the other songs I don't know. The one that Peace presented is pretty empty of lyric content. We don't know anything about the character in that song.

It's important to be objective about certain songs which have been overplayed and therefore we get sick of hearing them again. But this doesn't mean they're not good songs such as "Coward of the County". And it doesn't mean that we have to agree with their message either. Some like "Afternoon Delight" were fun for some audiences when it first came out (the idea of a "nooner") but it wasn't meant to stand the test of time. Much of the criticism is about preferences for the style of songs rather than about the actual writing of the song itself. Some pop songs are throwaway but maybe fun when they first come out. They may be clever but not to the liking of those who look for deep poetic, lyric, and musical content in a song. Sometimes a song can be clever, fun and disposable but written well in the context of its musical environment. I think to make a fair evaluation of a song not just based on prejudices but taking apart the lyric and the tune by identifying the sloppy construction is more profitable and interesting than just trashing it because for whatever reason we don't happen to like it.

Frank Hamilton


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Mr Fox
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 03:16 PM

Roots.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: PoppaGator
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 04:05 PM

"Feelings"!

Great nomination of a too-well-known song, very widely deplored.

There's a restaurant in New Orleans ~ actually, a very good one, in a lovely and very ancient building ~ named "Feelings." It first opened up when the song was still at the height of its popularity. Apparently, the founder(s) has musical tastes that didn't measure up to their culinary talents.

In recent years, they've begun calling it "Feelings Cafe" instead of just-the-one-word "Feelings," but none of the signs, ads, logo, etc., have changed.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,squeezer
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 10:51 PM

Quote
squeezer: What is about the lyrics that you don't like?

In hindsight, my comment was a little unfair. Not really that I don't like the story; just that the song seems rooted in the 1960s and conjures up to me the image of hippy folksingers in Afghan jackets, Paisley shirts, flairs and droopy moustaches. (OK, I was there too!)


My preference today is, by contrast, for songs that are rooted in the 1860s and conjure up the image of finger-in-the-ear folk singers in waistcoats, gaiters and full beards.

I do like the squeezebox solo though...and I still reckon the tune goes well to Black Velvet Band, yes it does, yes it does, hu hu hu....


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 01 May 07 - 12:47 AM

It is of considerable interest to me to realize that less than 1% of all the songs mentioned in this thread as being "the worst" are actually folk songs.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,blindlemonsteve
Date: 01 May 07 - 03:38 PM

Just going over this thread again as its resurected itself, I know some people just want to talk about folk music to the exclusion of eveything else, but sometimes its nice just to relax with friends and shoot the breeze on light subjects, we dont know each other personally, so threads like this are a sort of way for us all to talk nonsense over a few pints down the pub. Nothing more than that really.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 01 May 07 - 11:54 PM

Definitely "Waltzing With Bears"


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 02 May 07 - 03:45 AM

I don't know whether anyone has mentioned this yet (can't be bothered to read the whole thread), but I hate 'Imagine' by John Lennon - a dreary, dirgy, mawkish statement of the bleedin' obvious!

Also, does anyone remember 'The Man Who Called Himself Jesus' by Dave Cousins of the Strawbs (I think)? The line which goes, something like, "I thought my pint of beer had turned into a pint of blood" takes some beating for poor taste and over-dramatisation! I also found the declamatory, 'I-just-made-this-up-in-the-bath' tune intensely irritating as well.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,semi-pro musician
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 04:13 PM

What in the world is wrong with you people slamming songs that are considered classics? You've managed to insult half the songs I like and use in my repetoire? There is NOTHING wrong with most of them. You just don't appreciate good music.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Roughyed
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 04:55 PM

You don't need to read the whole thread Shimrod to see if someone has mentioned Imagine. Press Control and F on your keyboard, type in Imagine, click on next and you'll find that someone called Alex disagrees with you. I don't though. It's nice to find someone else who thinks it's a wishy washy piece of drivel.

And you're dead right about Cousins as well. A master of bathos at his worst.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,lefthanded guitar
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 06:56 PM

Where do you go to my lovely, I didn't know anyone but me and my friend's husband Jim knew that song. I didn't think it was that bad.

But from that era, or thereabout, my nomination for the very worst song in the universe bar none is;
Lucy in the Sky with Glasses.

When I was a freshman in college,living on the 16th floor of my dorm, some idiot played that song about 100 times a day.Day night afternoon, whatever, of all songs to play that was the one they picked- they were on the 14th floor. Finally someone on the 18th floor started yelling for them to turn it off and the proprietor of the record stuck her nasty head out the window and started yelling; wherupon the 18th floor gal then proceeded to empty a bucket of (used) soapy water out the window.

Never heard that d**n thing again all semester.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,lefthanded guitar
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 06:58 PM

PS
I think the actual title was Lucy in Disguise with glasses.

Youda think I'd remember the exact title after hearing it so much


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Don Firth
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 07:21 PM

Nothing against the song itself, but during the late 60s I was living in an apartment in Seattle's University District, and I had a next door neighbor who played electric guitar (which he insisted on cranking up to overload, a la Jimi Hendrix. After an interminable amount of time hearing him practice Jose Feliciano's hit record "Light My Fire," I had just about had it. The guy had absolutely no sense of rhythm. After hearing his arrhythmic attempts at "Come on, baby, light my fire" for what seemed like several hours a day for several weeks, I was right on the verge of buying an army surplus flame thrower and granting what seemed to be his fondest wish.

But suddenly everything went quiet over there. It may have been that his downstairs neighbor came up and pulled the plug. On his amplifier or on him personally, I don't know.

I didn't inquire.

Blessed, blessed peace!

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: lefthanded guitar
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 05:08 PM

Love your use of the word 'arhythmic' to describe this guy - the Chinese water torture of this guy's incessant practicing meant that surely someone was hired to kill him. My word, even Jose never quite got the rhythm of the tune quite right.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,JB
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 06:42 PM

Surely we can`t omit "Little Arrows" by Leapey (Leepy) Lee or has it already been mentioned?

Oh the pain!

JB


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 06:54 PM

I hate to rain on any performer's parade. "Walk a mile in their shoes, etc...." That said, I had an upstairs neighbor who was learning to play electric bass. Rhythm was the least of his issues; he couldn't have followed a tune if threatened with death. And, of course, he screwed up with the knob at #9. By the way, "MacArthur Park" was performed by Richard Harris. If he was a professional musician, I'm a colorectal surgeon. Which, by the way, is the name of a really bad, but really funny song by a Canadian duo named Bowser and Blue.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Bardan
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 09:00 AM

Slightly off topic, but my dad tends to get obsessed with a particular album and play it over and over again until it drives everyone crazy. He fell asleep listening to Richard and Linda Thomson one night and found the record in bits in the quad the next morning. Someone had actually crept into his room and chucked it out the window.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Doug
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 02:27 AM

Just discovered this forum. My vote goes to Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy."

I love Bobby, but this song gives me chills. Eccccck!


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Long Firm Freddie
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 02:34 AM

Song Sung Blue (Neil Diamond) has me reaching for the sick bucket.

LFF


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Betsy
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 03:51 AM

Number Nine or Helter Skelter by the Beatles


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: TheSnail
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 07:14 AM

"Having My Baby" by Paul Anka.... oh my god, it´s pure torture...

Don't know it; is it even worse than "My Way"?


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Strad
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 07:20 AM

The absolutely hideous "Two Little Boys" which seems to get exhumed every Christmas has me rushing for the On/Off button.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,CN
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 07:33 AM

"Send in the Clowns" by anyone. I don't truly detest many things, but that has to be top of my list.

And what's wrong with "Two Little Boys" (ducks...)


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,MARUT
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:40 AM

"PLEASE COME TO BOSTON"


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: EuGene
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:50 AM

It has got to be "Moon Dance" by Van Morrison . . . sounds like some of that late night caterwauling out in the alley. All those horrible sounds from a fellow who in his earlier life actually did some real singing! Eu


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:53 AM

'Lucky Stars' by Dean Friedman. Go on. Beat That.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:59 AM

As a long-time, dedicated fan of Pete Seeger's, I regretfully have to nominate his song, Golden Thread.

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:37 AM


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:39 AM

That's very interesting, TJ


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:40 AM

As we said in the sixties, "Different strokes for different folks."
It also depends on how I feel when I get up in the morning. Today, for example, I find "Monster Mash" especially execrable.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:42 AM

Sorry, Uncle DaveO - I was interrupted and hit "enter" instead of "tab," with a nice "tabla rasa" result.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: the button
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 01:11 PM

"The final countdown" by Europe
"We built this city (on rock & roll)" by Starship
The entire recorded output of the Grateful Dead.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Jonny Sunshine
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 04:10 PM

Where to start?

I nominate Escape (The Pina Colada Song)by Rupert Holmes

Truly dreadful


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,English Jon
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 06:04 PM

American Sodding Pie


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: john f weldon
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 01:16 AM

Little Drummer Boy, especially if played on Hawaiian guitar.
Throw Mama from the Train (A Kiss, A Kiss).
Oh My Papa.
Sonny Boy.
A You're Adorable, mainly for line 3. (Cutie full of charm! Agh!)
Faith of Our Fathers.
Ave Maria.
Twas in the Moon of Wintertime.
Ahab the Arab.

...this is a good game for insomniacs!


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,LKGuest
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 01:37 AM

Dave Barry once did a column on bad songs once and got such an enthusiastic response that he wrote an entire book about bad songs. The book is a riot, but if you read it, you have all of these horrible tunes and lyrics stuck in your head.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Genie
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 01:45 AM

I second (or third, fourth, etc.) these nominations:
Having My Baby" by Paul Anka
Muskrat Love - Captain & Tenille
Feelings - why whoever did it
Teddy Bear - Red Sovine
Honey - Bobby Goldsboro

I'd also like to add a couple:
"Rose Garden" - Lynne Anderson - Nothing but a string of poorly connected clichés, sometimes making litte sense and never saying anything all that interesting or profound
(E.g., "you'd better look before you leap, still waters run deep, and I won't always be there to pull you out -- and you know what I'm talking about ... )

"Sunshine On My Shoulder" - John Denver -- Only because it's so tediously s l o w that I can't stand hearing it.

"Joanna" by Sly & The Family Stone - If you doubt it, take a listen (to the almost monotone "melody") and pay special attention to the 3rd-grade "rhymes" (not to mention the total - and unartistic - lack of rhyme in other parts).

But how can we forget John Ashcroft's "Let The Eagle Soar?"
(OK, he's not a professional musician - obviously - but he did record the damned thing in a professional recording studio album.)


Just a few other reactions to what's been said:

Willie O - Whether you like Anka's type of pop music or not, I cannot fathom how anyone could put a song like "My Way" in the same qualitative category as "Having My Baby."   The first is interesting melodically with rather well crafted lyrics - certainly no "Hallmark card" poetry -- while the latter is tedious, repetitive, with a "tune" verging on monotone. Sheesh!

MacArthur Park - horrible, I guess, but nowhere near as puke-inducing, IMO, as Feelings or Having My Baby

I agree that Knocking On Heaven's Door is one of Dylan's worst - very overrated
Same goes for Lennon's "Imagine"
But I'd hardly call either of them among the worst songs ever written


Hey, Scrump, I think "Why Don't We Do It In The Road?" is a classic! Right up there with Jimmy Buffett's "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw?"


Poppagator, your take on the issue resonates with me. There's many a pop or rock song I thought was drek when I heard it as a teen -- e.g., Roy Orbison's "Pretty Woman" -- but which I now consider a gem and a classic. Part of it is probably nostalgia, but I think part of it is also that my "ear" is more sophisticated than it once was; I can now appreciate some of the less superficial elements of such songs/arrangements that I overlooked back then. As you say, "having shed some of my prejudices, I can appreciate the singing, arrangements, musicianship, production, etc."


Art Thieme - How can you put the great Dr. Seuss -- "Waltzing With Bears" -- in the same category with whoever wrote "Feelings!"


Oh, and I think we've got two songs confused:
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
and
Judy In Disguise

EuGene, how can you not appreciate "Moon Dance?" Probably one of the best (sort of) smooth jazz songs of the last few decades.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: cptsnapper
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 11:38 PM

Frank Sinatra's version of Mrs. Robinson


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 09:35 AM

The worst has to be Blue Water Line, a fake protest song by the Brothers Four.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: the button
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 09:51 AM

Frank Sinatra's version of Mrs. Robinson?

Come on, the rhyming of "do your thing," with "ding, ding, ding," is inspired.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: EuGene
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 09:56 PM

Genie:

I don't have a problem with the song "Moondance", whether one sings it as a smooth jazz song or a Fitzgerald skat number, but to me it is sickening the way Van Morrison sang it . . . like he wanted to emulate the death throes of some hapless creature being eaten alive by a lion! Anyone who is not familiar with most of Morrisons earlier stuff might think that not only did he never learn to sing, but in all likelihood never will.

EuGene


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Willie-O
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 10:42 PM

Well Genie, for me what connects the two Anka songs (Having My Baby and My Way) is that I really dislike songs that reflect the singer's/writer's apparently immense ego--and on Me-song score, My Way ranks even higher than HMB, it is the standard by which all are judged. Both of them are way up there. And neither are pop masterpieces in any other way that would ameliorate their obnoxiousness.

In other news, anyone who thinks that Moondance is terrible because Van Morrison is a bad singer doesn't know his left ventricle from his right testicle.

Thanks
W-O


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Willie-O
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 11:06 PM

Genie: having looked back, after defending myself, cause I was curious as to what I might have said about "My Way", I am now more puzzled than before. I only made one earlier post to this thread, on February 1, and did not mention "My Way" at all. So, huh?

Guest Bill Kennedy's followup remarks on "Cold Missouri Waters" are informative, in a way. He seems an unpleasant person. I guess if you don't think a subject is worth writing about, you're not likely to like any song about it. But hang on, the song is not generic like "The Green Berets", it is not called "The Smoke Jumpers". It is about a tragedy which took the lives of 13 working people. Now if that ain't worth a couple of songs, folk music shouldn't even exist, cause there's nothing to write about.   

Good to hear from "Jump 17" that the song resonates with the people who work in that dangerous field. That's the only endorsement it needs.

W-O
old forestry tech


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 02:28 AM

"It Must Be Him" by Vicki Carr


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: EuGene
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 06:00 AM

Holy smokes, Willie-O, the last thing that could ever be suggested by my posting is that I think Van Morrison is or ever was a bad singer! Quite the contrary, for a guy who had such a great influence on all types of music from pop, to Celtic, to Jazz, to R&B, country, etc. nobody in his right mind would suggest that he couldn't sing.

Quite the contrary, because he was such a good singer, I suggested that if one was not familiar with all that Morrison was doing back during those years around when Moondance was recorded, they would get the impression from Moondance that he couldn't sing. Who would have connected the singer of "Gloria" and "Brown Eyed Girl" with the singer of "Moondance" . . . until I had heard the latter song several time and thought it was lousy, I didn't know who the singer was, only later hearing some DJ name Morrison. With that song, it seemed that there were two different singers named Van Morrison and at least as far as I knew they were as different as ventricles and testicles .

EuGene


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: EuGene
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 06:19 AM

Forgive me world. I didn't mean to sound so judgemental when I said that ". . . nobody in his right mind would . . .", an expression that surely is the acme of ignorant arrogance. Mea culpa.

So, whether or not I like or dislike a song or singer (or anything else), and whether or not another person begs to differ with me on the issue, is in no way indicative of anything other than a matter of divergence of opinion. No more, no less. One cannot draw a conclusion about intelligence or "right mind" of another merely because of a difference of opinion. To do so is more of an ad hominem barb rather than any form of factual statement.

However, with my statement I did that very thing, and am embarrassed and ashamed that I stepped so far out of line . . . I appologize to all.

EuGene


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,LouisianaGrey
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 07:40 AM

Almost anything by Elton john,, but I'd single out "Your Song" (although it does deserve a prize for maximum use of the word "quite" in a pop song) and "Candle in the Wind" - maudlin, sentimental garbage, made even worse by the Princess Diana fiasco.

And while we're on the subject of garbage, how about John Lennon's "Imagine"? As stirring a collection of mindless cliches to match any on the planet. Try telling the starving poor and dispossessed of somewhere like Darfur to "imagine no possessions". That's a luxury only the rich and satisfied can afford.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 09:39 AM

How many of these are songs we have just heard to the point of exhaustion and how many are bad recordings of good songs by otherwise talented people. And how many, like The Voyage and The Old Man, are horrific from the get go?


Ducking for cover now.

Don


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jun 11 - 11:56 PM

baby by justin beiberi know it's the obvious choice but it's so bad, though he may not be considered a musician... or a he


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 01:27 AM

How about "Goodbye England's Rose"? Was Elton John such a lazy sot at that point in his life that he couldn't avoid plagiarizing himself to come up with a tribute for Diana? I know he didn't have a lot of time, but to take this song which was a fairly moving tribute to Marilyn Monroe and dress it up in new lyrics appropriate for the occasion of Diana's funeral has always struck me as being at the least in very bad taste.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Desi C
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 08:35 AM

At the risk of offending millions, here goes

For me it's Hotel California by The Eagles. For me it signalled the end of old time country and began crossover Pap, It's the most over done moronic whine of a song, I'm sick to death of hearing it around the clubs, not least because everyone does it the same boring old way and no one even tries to do something a little different with it. It's serious music's version of the chicken song and should be put on the same bonfire of dross forthwith (duck)


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Steamin' Willie
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 09:10 AM

Had Radio 2 on in the car yesterday. Either Chris Evans (whilst driving to Leeds) or Steve Wright (driving home again) played a song by Clifford T Ward.

Can't remember much about him other than he had long hair and sideburns. The song though..... Caught myself listening to the contrived lyrics (which matched the contrived melody line) and ended up laughing at it.

Sorry I can't remember what the song was called, even if the presenter bothered saying it....


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 10:53 AM

Having My Baby, without a doubt.

Personally, I think Candle in the Wind, and Hotel California, are not as bad as all that--they each represent a poetic effort, not sophisticated, not musically refined, but simple and heart-felt, none the less. Hotel California's imagery is evocative, and the clinch line "check out any time you want, but you can never leave" is a rough gem.


A


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 11:16 AM

I think "you're beautiful" is a terrible song. How many times does the guy have to say it? It just goes on and on.


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Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Max Johnson
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 01:18 PM

From: Mark H. - PM
"Every Breath You Take" by the execrable Sting. Dull, plodding, cliched chords, words that are puerile and unpleasant without any redeeming menace. Utter drivel.

I think this song was basically ripped from Gene Pitney's 'Every Little Breath I Take', which is a great song.


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