BS: Tiny Little Nuns

Subject: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:37 PM

In my childhood, I lived in terror of Sister Blister who threw temper tantrums and literally jumped up and down in front of the class.
Well, about a month ago. little nuns have started appearing in odd places in my home. The first popped up by my computer. I thought she was a little Puritan but closer examination showed she was a Sister of Charity. Another turned up on my Stairway To Heaven. Black and white but not terrifying. The most recent is sitting on a dusty shelf in my bathroom.
She is the dreaded Ursuline! Why me? Are there more to be found? What have I done to be so stalked?
SINS, in terror

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 09:58 PM

They are coming for you. Repent now and join the convent!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 10:38 PM

This is serious Sins!! Although not as bad as it could get...yet.
I would really start to get worried if this lot turn up at the next Song Circle! Be afraid, be very afraid.....

Jude:)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 10:39 PM

You poor thing! I never had to deal with them at all, but I've heard stories...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 10:59 PM

Artificial statuettes representing an impression of pretend identities in the context of an imaginary reality adopted by unreal people to avoid the real thing... just what I always wanted!!!!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 11:11 PM

Get your hair shirt and flagellation tools ready, Sins. It can only get worse.

The other answer is.........







Go ye forth and sin no more.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Feb 07 - 11:12 PM

Sounds like a Steven King story...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 12:04 AM

Are any of them named Christine?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Barry Finn
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 12:19 AM

Mary, watch out for Sister Mary Maintenance, she's the bitch that goes around fixing what ain't broke. Don't let her in! Did I ever tell you about my nun fantasy. I'm gonna someday buy a church, keep the altar & renovate the rest of it into a brothel, hire a bunch of nuns & ,,,,,,,,,,,

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 03:44 AM

Are you sure you're not just being invaded by penguins?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:17 AM

Sister Paschal Candle Half Lit is on a shelf peering into my shower. How can I bathe without touching myself? I thought I dealt with that 50 years ago...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:23 AM

Barry - Chaucer bet you to it.

These are exactly one inch tall from the tips of their tiny shoes to the tips of their raised in Halleluyah fingers. Opened mouth in praise - make what you want of that, Barry.

One could easily sneak a thousand of these into a home and squirrel them away anywhere. I don't dare look in the eaves. Or HORRORS - see if they are reproducing within the headless Jesus.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,Bainbo
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:36 AM

Do they look like this?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alec
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:47 AM

Oh.My.God. Check out the Action Figures on the site Bainbo linked to above.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:57 AM

Let me know if Sister Tracey shows up. I'll catch a flight.......................

Spaw---If you go to the next page, that's YOUR problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: freda underhill
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:57 AM

Sinsull,

What you need is Sister Constance Enjoyment, to help you enjoy yourself without guilt, Sister Attila the Nun to help you overcome all obstacles, and Mother Interior to remind you to nurture your inner self!

If they cause too much trouble, you can always send them off to repent for a while. Maybe they can go to the chat room and confess!

good luck

freda

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Tinker
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 08:01 AM

Dang Mary, My own favorite is the Jitterbugging Sister of Mercy. Let me know if she shows.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 08:13 AM

Bainbo - thanks galore for the wonderful link. I'm a Bach addict, but the librarian wins in my humble opinion (I'm one myself)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 08:39 AM

Oh, look! It's Sister Mary Jane of the Order of the Holy Smokes!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: bobad
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 08:42 AM

The Sisters Of Mercy
by Leonard Cohen

O the sisters of mercy, they are not departed or gone
They were waiting for me, when I thought that I just can't go on
And they gave me their comfort, and later they gave me their song
Oh I hope you run into them, you who've been traveling so long

Yes you who must lose everything that you cannot control
It begins with your family, but soon it comes round to your soul
Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned
When you're not feeling holy, your loneliness says that you've sinned

They lay down beside me, I made my confession to them
They touched both my eyes, and I touched the dew on their hem
If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn
They will bind you with love that is graceful and green as a stem

When I left they were sleeping, I hope you run into them soon
Don't turn on the light, you can read their address by the moon
And it won't make me jealous if I learn that they've sweetened your night
We weren't lovers like that, and besides it would still be alright
We weren't lovers like that, and besides it would still be alright

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 11:00 AM

You sure they aren't penguins?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 11:39 AM

I can still feel that wooden pointer cracking down on my knuckles. And I can still see the look of disbelief on Sister's face when I deftly grabbed the pointer away from her and broke it over my knee. Nuns can't run worth shit in a habit!

I was transferred from St. Bernard's to a public school. I can still feel that leather strap cracking down on the palms of my hands....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: bobad
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 12:27 PM

"I can still feel that leather strap cracking down on the palms of my hands...."

It sure warmed one's hands and made them glow. I too was a not infrequent recipient of my "religious" teachers' ministrations.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Wesley S
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 12:31 PM

I was taught by nuns and I never had my knuckles cracked by a ruler. I've never met anyone - in person - that this ever happened to either. I think it's just an urban myth.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 12:31 PM

Ah yes I too have fond memories of the physical violence I was subjected to daily at the hands of the Sisters of (not one ounce of) Mercy.
Yip there were some in authority at the Convent School I attended that had some very bad Habits!
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 12:46 PM

We crossed posted Wesley.
I am glad you didn't experience the Ruler treatment but I can assure you that it is no Urban myth where I attended School and a Ruler on the knuckles was the lesser punishments dished out.
The real problems came when the Cane or Leather strap was brought into the action.
No joke!
J

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Wesley S
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 12:47 PM

What type of violence? Rulers, open palms, fists?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 12:52 PM

Nuns? What nuns?

I actually saw one peeking out from somewhere and just about died laughing. Well, I was in the vicinity of stairs at the time, so I could have died. It's like The Flying Nun meets Darby O'Gill meets the Twilight Zone.

The nuns go marching one by one,
Hurrah, hurrah
...etc

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Leadfingers
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 12:58 PM

The Nuns are there to make sure you dont get Nun !!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:08 PM

Pm on it's way Wesley...best keep this Thread for the little'uns..**grin**
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:10 PM

These are what you CALL nuns Mary!

G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:17 PM

Ah yes.......Kindergarten with the nuns of the Chinese Mission.......I still stick out my tongue in the mirror to see if its pointed, indicating that I am, indeed, a liar. Unfortunately, my dear Mum was a firm believer in equal opportunity indoctrination of the very young and simaltaneously sent me to the Four Square Gospel Sunday School. There I also learned that I would indeed burn in hell for my sins, without ever a chance of absolution.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Greg B
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:21 PM

Nuns! Nuns! Reverse! Reverse!

(The Fr. Ted thread leaked, apparently)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:24 PM

I always figured that, "Suffer the little children to come unto me", was a double entendre.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:46 PM

Wesley... you and your classmates must have been immaculate little angels. I got cracked the very first day I attended St. Bernard's for being late for Catechism. I arrived at 08:45, knowing school started at 09:00. I was immediately set upon by a "black and white" who assumed I was trying to play hookey. Catechism was at 08:30 and when I told her I did not know what Catechism was, she taught me.

Urban myth me arse! (Which is where I first got the pointer... or cane, if you will.)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,, Bat Goddess at Work
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:47 PM

Is THIS what happens when a certain cat pees on things?!?

(I can just see tiny nuns springing up -- sproinggg -- from each drop of Alice's "fertilizer".)

Oh, but that doesn't explain them being found off the floor such as on the shelf.

Never mind!

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:33 PM

Sins, obviously these were left for you by friends who want to encourage you to vent those feelings of revenge. You can do quite a lot of fun things to those statuettes, you know.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:33 PM

Start again Giok !!

These are what you call nuns Mary!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: bfdk
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:36 PM

Any mention of a Sister Josephine? ;-))

Sister Josephine
(Jake Thackeray)

Oh Sister Josephine
What do all these Policemen mean
By coming to the convent in a grim limousine
After Sister Josephine

While you Sister Josephine
You sit with your boots up on the alter screen
You smoke one last cigar
What a funny nun you are

The Policemen say thet Josephine's a burglar in diguise
Big Bad Norman fifteen years on the run
The sisters disbelieve it "No that can't be Josephine"
Just think about her tenderness towards the younger nuns

Oh Sister Josephine
They're searching the chapel where you've been seen
The nooks and the crannies of the nun's canteen
After Sister Josephine

While you sister Josephine
You sip one farewell benedictine
Before your Au Revoir
A right funny nun you are

Admittedley her hands are big and hairy
And embelished with a curious tatoo
Admittedly her voice is on the deep side
And she seems to shave more often than the other sisters do

Oh Sister Josephine
Founder of the convent pontoon team
They're looking through your bundles of rare magazines
After Sister Josephine

While you sister Josephine
You give a goodbye sniff of benzedrine
To the convent budgerigar
A bloody funny nun you are

No longer will her snores ring through the chapel during prayers
Nor her lustful moanings fill the stilly night
No more empty bottles of alter wine come clunking from her cell
No longer will the cloister toilet seat stand upright

Oh Sister Josephine
Slipping through their fingers like vaseline
Leaving them to clutch your empty crinoline
After Sister Josephine

While you sister Josephine
Sprinting through the suburbs when last seen
Dressed only in your wimple and your rosary
A right funny nun you seem to be.

Best wishes,

Bente

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Barry Finn
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 03:05 PM

Mary, were their mouths ever shut?

Urban myth, not in my neighorhood. Crack the knuckles was for the light hearted. Some used to take us to the coat room drop our drawers & beat on our bare butts with the wooden end of a brush handle. We (boys) had to wear ties & I had one nun that would grab my tie yank it down & as my head droped hit me with an uppercut to the chin 3 or 4 times in a row, now that hurt! 5th grade

In keeping this a little musical here's a pumping shanty from the collection of Frederick Pease Harlow

Priests & Nuns

A priest in Austria thought one day
1st Ch. Ho, Ho, Ho
He'd go to France without delay
2nd Ch. Hal-ler-al-le-re. hal-ler-al-le-ra
He'd go to France without delay
3rd Ch. Hal-ler-al-le-re, Ho, Ho

So when the father came to France
Ho, Ho, Ho
Seven sick nuns he found by chance
Hal-ler-al-le-re, hal-ler-al-le-ra
Seven sick nuns he found by chance
Hal-ler-al-le-re, Ho, Ho

He saw these nuns in the convent yard
All laying down on benches hard

He gave these nuns his calling card                                                                And asked may I come in your yard

To one he asked what he could
I'm both priest & doctor too

A sick nun then made quick reply
Said father treat me ere I die

With cane in hand a walking stick
And he touched that nun so very quick

The others quickly ran to see
And asked the priest what could it be

A medicine stick in my hand I hold
To cure all sick nuns in my fold

Another nun that lay close by
Cried father none so sick as I

He treated all the nuns alike
And said he'd call another night

Their treasure gone they looked in vain
For the priest that carried the medicine cane

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: ranger1
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 04:52 PM

Maybe better nuns than glow-in-the-dark plastic Virgin Marys? I know where to find one if you decide you'd like that better, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 05:53 PM

I have no memory of being hit by a nun. In fact, the only memory I have of a nun hitting anyone was a fourth-grade kid who called his teacher a "rotten old bitch" and she knocked him across the room, and made his father come to pick him up and when the father was told what the kid did HE knocked him across the room again.

Now, the Christian Brothers were a whole different matter.....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:06 PM

I was always told that a champagne cork should come out of the bottle with a gentle sound like 'a nuns fart'.

I was invited to a Franciscan friary which contained both male and female incumbents. A nuns' fart sounds a great deal like ripping calico.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:01 PM

Wesley,
Even I got rapped across the knuckles. Once I remember was because I (and everyone else in the class) failed a 100 word surprise spelling test of words we had never seen before and I have not seen since. I was a straight A student and still failed. Go figure.

Actually, one beating (across the back of the legs with a pointer/cane) every time she made a mistake on a multiple division problem led to threat of a lawsuit when Elaine Pity's mother decided it was extreme. It was horrifying to watch and went on for about five minutes.

When Sister Blister got really bored or really mad she used the metal side of the ruler across the knuckles - it cut. I never endured that but my brothers did. And if you flinched, you got two more.

My younger brother was decked by a nun and knocked unconcious in the third grade. They made him promise not to tell my parents and in return he got little extras.

Add that to the priest who was banging little boys and I have to admit I don't have fond memories of my early school days.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 09:14 PM

"...tiny little nuns
Tiny little feet
Tiny little rosaries going 'weep' 'weep' 'weep'...."

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 09:22 PM

In our household we didn't have much truck with nuns. But for some reason my mother took great delight in claiming "the Pope's nose" at Thanksgiving.

Such are the archane practices of the heathen...

Sinsull-

Beware of the glowing angel with the fluttering wings!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:18 PM

I used to smoke "Three Nuns."

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 05:26 AM

Nuns go round in threes, so one nun can make sure the other nuns, don't get none!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 06:39 AM

Two nuns wandering around Whitby get caught by a vampire.

'Sister, show him your cross!' yells one.

'F*^£$g get out of my b£^)$"£*$ way, you m$^£$$f$%&*£$£ vampire!'

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 07:34 AM

What do you call a tiny little nun climbing the stairs?

a Step Sister

Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:15 AM

And yet another...this one is leaning tipsily against a folk art church in my sunroom. I believe she has been into the communion wine. And she a Josephite!

Charlie,
You gave me a lovely mermaid for Christmas and she sits happily in my kitchen. Don't spoil it now by inflicting angels on me. Bad enough I am surrounded by nuns.

Maybe I can get Nunzilla to herd them all into the bathroom for a flush.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:19 AM

Jumpin' Josephite Mary Sunshine ?

G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:46 AM

"...tiny little nuns
Tiny little feet
Tiny little rosaries going 'weep' 'weep' 'weep'...."
Made me think Rapaire:)


...tiny little nun
Tiny little brain
Tiny little sadist inflicting 'pain' 'pain' 'pain'.....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jimlad9
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:38 AM

Overheard at a Sally Army Citadel. Or Salvos Citadel for those in our antipodean colony.

"Sister Hannah shall carry the banner"

"But I carried it last week and I am in the family way"

" You're in everybody's way,so pick the b****rd up"

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:42 AM

jimlad I know a whole longer version of that one!
G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:55 AM

Sinsull-

I am no longer the keeper of the glowing, fluttering tiny angel. I'm a firm believer in "catch an' release." I hope she finds a good home...

Nunsuch nonsense troubles my weary mind,
Nunsuch nonsense troubles my weary mind,
Nunsuch nonsense troubles my weary mind –
Gonna catch a long slow freight,
An' leave my worries behind!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jimlad9
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 01:29 PM

Giok

I don't believe you !!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: gnomad
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 01:59 PM

This one?

Sister Hannah, you shall carry the banner.

But I carried it yesterday.

You'll carry it again today.

But I'm in the family way.

You're in EVERY bugger's way...Do it!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 02:37 PM

Who shall carry the banner?
Sister Anna shall carry the banner!
But I can't carry the banner.
Why can't you carry the banner?
I'm in the family way.
You're in everybody's way, carry the banner
But My baby?
**** your baby!
Would you **** my baby?
I'd **** a fly
Oh you fly ****er!

You did ask!

G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Leadfingers
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 02:44 PM

What do they say about Lowest Common Denominators ?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 04:26 PM

Geez, in my extreme youth I went to public school with a boy who got thrown out of every Catholic school around -- the most recent time for lassooing a priest.

The only parochial school I went to was Milwaukee Lutheran High School -- where the "worst" crime committed in the name of religion was the exhortation by one of my Religion teachers to not pray in public because you might be praying next to a Wisconsin Synod Lutheran. (MLHS was Missouri Synod.)

Charley, I've got the glow-in-the-dark angel with the fluttering wings. Not sure where best to bestow her yet, but Sinsull's not in the running. (Not after the Michael Jackson angel!)

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 04:56 PM

Linn-

I'm sure Sinsull will be reassured to hear that.

Of course I still have a small flock (or is it a fleet?) of satanic pirate rubber duckies looking for a quiet mill pond or bath tub.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jaze
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 05:07 PM

No urban myth, Westley. I could tell you stories of my days in a Catholic orphanage in Phila. run by nuns that you wouldn't believe. And I've discovered in later years that kids in other orphanges had it way worse.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: ranger1
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:04 PM

Hey Charley, I think we could use a satanic rubber duckie right about now.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:57 PM

Ranger 1-

What are your GPS coordinates? They're programable and could be gathered on your very doorstep as the sun comes leaping forth otta Casco Bay ready to amuse and delight you!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Bainbo
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 06:07 AM

From the same place as Nunzilla:

Satanic rubber duckie

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,CrazyEddie
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 07:15 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,CrazyEddie
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 07:18 AM

OOOPS!

On a visit to Rome, the seven dwarfs happen to bump into the Holy Father.

"Tell me", says Doc, are there any dwarf nuns in the Vatican?
"No" says the pope, there are no dwarf nuns in the vatican".

Doc, & the others start singing:
"Dopey shagged a penguin,
Dopey shagged a penguin".

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Cluin
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 04:38 PM

Drunky John comes staggering out of the bar, stops and squints at the nun standing at the bus stop.

John staggers over to the nun and before she can say a word, he hauls back and plows her one in the face.

The nun drops to the gutter and John kicks her up against the curb, putting the boots to her until she stops moving.

John then squats down and slurs, "Ain' s' tough t'night, are ya, Batman?"

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 04:50 PM

I think you will find Barbie has taken holy orders...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 10:50 AM

Hee hee - I thought this thread was about tiny little nuTs - as in the following, not in the Trad for some reason link to play):

3 Inch tool

Little me..
My nuts are small as pearls
You like to laugh me
Cuz I'm hung just like a squirrel.

Sometimes it bugs me,
I'm not a bigger guy.
When I was a baby
It was exactly the same size.

But there's nothing I can do.
I've only got three inch tool.

Come home with me
Have a cocktail at my place
I've got to tell you
Before we get past second base

In my pants,
Ain't no big shwing.
But if you can find him,
He's a friendly little thing.

But there's nothing I can do.
I've only got three inch tool.
When I'm coming outta the pool,
I've only got a one inch tool.

Sometimes I wonder
If it'll ever extend
I get embarrassed when I'm hanging with my friends

They like to razz me
I don't know why
But get me a happy-meal
And super-size my fry.

But there's nothing I can do.
I've only got three inch tool.
When I'm coming outta the pool,
I've only got a one inch tool.
It's small but it's real cool
I'm happy with my 3 inch tool.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 02:24 PM

Artificial images representing an impression of pretend identities in the context of an imaginary reality adopted by unreal people to avoid the real thing... just what I always wanted!!!!!


AMOS you have defined television !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 11:29 PM

When I was about nine my family moved close to the Scottish border and my sister and I both went to school in Gretna Green which was just across the Scottish border, inside Scotland. Evidently the rules were different up there because the teachers were allowed to hit us. Punishment was holding your hand out and the teacher would hit it with a leather strap. My sister's teacher was nicknamed 'Killer Munroe' -- she was so terrified of him she did EVERTYHING right to avoid even the possibility of a belt. I was a good student and did well, except for one fateful day when I had more than two errors on my spelling test and was hauled out in front of the class - along with the LOSERS - to extend my hand for 'the belt'. I know the teacher was light on me because I was a teacher's pet but don't know what hurt worse - the hit or the humiliation.

Every week we would change our seats according to our rank in class. The desk furthest back to the right went to the best student and on down to the front -- nearly always in front of the class was a little kid with a huge strawberry birthmark on his face who received 'the belt' virtually daily.........; we smarty pants sat on the back row and just changed our seats amongst ourselves.

What a system!!!!! And this was not in a Catholic school - this was a regular public school.....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jimlad9
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:35 AM

At my Primary School we were taught by Sister St Thomas,she had been dismissed from the Gestapo for being too cruel. If a child annoyed her she would grab you by the lapels and hold you an inch from her stubbly jaw and hiss"Do you like Hospital food boy?".

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 07:22 PM

And another of the blue and white variety found lurking behind a union pin on a ribbon in the bath. SIGH

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,ib48
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 11:47 AM

Oops,sorry,i thought it was a porn site

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 07:29 PM

So do the nuns. Why do you think they are lurking behind buttons in the bathroom?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 03:59 AM

Can't you get an industrial size packet of 'None Nun' or 'Nun B Gon' and flush the little buggers out?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 05:36 AM

Sins , maybe what is needed

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 05:41 AM

OOps, wrong button!!

as I was saying, what maybe needed is the Nun c Dimmitis

Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace : according to thy word.
For mine eyes have seen : thy salvation,
Which thou hast prepared : before the face of all people;
To be a light to lighten the Gentiles : and to be the glory of thy people Israel.

thats why they are turning up in the bathroom, it's the "light to lighten the genitals " thats atracting them

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 10:54 AM

Do penguins have wheels?

No.

Damn, I just ran over a Nun on roller skates...

(Mike Harding?)

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 11:11 AM

Did you find one in the freezer yet?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jimlad9
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 12:40 PM

At my school the rendition of the sign of the cross went:-

" In the name of the father put your hand on your tum............"

And the Hail Mary went :-

............"Holy Mary,mother of God pray for us cinemas now and............."

The aforementioned Sister St Thomas was apoplectic most of the time.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:06 PM

Yes, I checked the freezer and no, there are no nuns in it. I will check the eaves next. If I find a 20# bag of plastic nuns, Jeri, you sleep in the basement from now on!

"Made ya look
Made ya look
Stole yer mother's pocket book"
Brillant!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:34 PM

Hmmm? You sure? Maybe it was in the fridge. Sorry.

I'm not responsibile for the nun invasion, but I think it's funny. And you reallly want to think about the fun I might have in your basement. Especially if I can hide down there and come up when you're at work to eat, re-arrange your furniture and die your cats funny colors. Please Miz Mary, don't throw Jeri in dat basement...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Tinker
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:53 PM

Oh boy, ya know I think I'm glad I couldn't make this trip.... I like knowing for once I can honestly say .... Wasntme!!
Hmmmm cellar dwellers who brighten up the cats during the day. What a helpful set of friends you have Miz Mary. They sound like great playmates.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:53 PM

LOL now those are wicked thoughts Jeri..we will have nun of that around here.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Barry Finn
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:55 PM

How many have you found by now Mary?

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 09:04 PM

I kept waiting for Mary to say something about the nun in the freezer, but it didn't happen, so I had to say something. I figure she might have been in the fridge, using the Tupperware as a trampoline. Oh well.
Who knows where a nun goes as refigerator doors close
Do they dive? Me, oh, my- those aren't blackbirds in the pie!
Mary bit, the plastic ate, but nuns are hard to masticate
And it's a sin, if that's what she done, 'cause you go to Hell if you eat a nun!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 09:29 PM

"And it's a sin, if that's what she done, 'cause you go to Hell if you eat a nun!"

ROFL Jerri
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 10:30 PM

Jeri-

I have a brilliant idea for a new line of candies, shaped like nuns, and if I could get your permission to use your verse as a jingle -- we'll make millions!

Charley Noble, just tuning in again on this thread

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jimlad9
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 04:38 AM

When I strayed from the path of marital righteousness* I got 'Three nuns' from my wife.

Nun that night,nun the next month,and nun ever since.






* I did not really stray but this thingy would not work would it?.

Now if Uma Thurman threw herself at me well?...................

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Joe_F
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 09:56 PM

What kind of meat do monks eat on Friday?
Nun.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: vectis
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:49 AM

Wesley S I had both my arms and hands beaten black and blue by Sister Patrick using a ruler with a lead strip backing.
I went home that day and never went back. I joined another school in another town after the summer break.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 07:07 AM

No new sightings but I refuse to rummage through the fridge mainly because I think Jeri is just instigating.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:31 AM

Well, at least she won't go bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: ranger1
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 10:03 AM

It's terrible when good nuns go bad...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 03:56 PM

Well, I woke up this morning, feeling really sad!
Well, I woke up this morning, feeling really sad!
I opened up the fridge, and all them nuns gone bad!

Collected by Charley Noble way back in 2007

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 07:08 PM

If you say "Get thee to a nunnary" backwards, the nunnary comes to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 07:26 PM

NUN Hundred...sorry couldn't help myself 8>)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 08:01 PM

"There is a house near Portland Maine
That's full of tiny Nuns..."

Anyone know the rest of the words to 'House of the Plastic Nun'?

{This song is similiar to another Song called House of the rising Nun, I mean House of the rising Sun.]

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jimlad9
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 04:30 AM

At a darts match at the convent a dart bounced back and hit Sister Niamh in the eye killing her instantly. The scorer cried "One Nun dead and Eighty>


I am not bothered if you groan!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 08:01 AM

" Tiny nunlets in the house
lying quiter than a mouse
In the fridge and in the ice tray
causes Sinsull much dismay
Tiny Nunlets every where
Ugh!!, I've got to wash my hair!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 08:09 AM

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor doggy a bone
But when she got there
The cupboard was bare
And so the poor doggy got nun.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 10:38 AM

Those nunsuch ditties are so bad!

Now, Jenny, I do recall a brunch place in Glebe called "Bad Manors." But I don't recall a clothing store called "Bad Habits," unless it was that X-rated place in Kings Cross.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: MaineDog
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 10:49 AM

I much prefer my nuns big and fat, in bright red, with a good radar reflector on top.
MD

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 10:55 AM

Ah yes, fond memories of Badde Manors (note the spelling). I don't know of a place called Bad Habits. If there isn't one, there should be. It might be in Kings X, but I picture it being in Newtown actually, and it would be patronised by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Tinker
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 10:57 AM

Okay I just got the most wonderful view of SINSULL dressed as the flying nun soaring around Portalnd lighthouse while Kendall regales with stories about the Light.....

Perhaps the little ones are preparing her ....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 11:34 AM

Oh yes Tinker...
The Nun and the Captain. (sounds like a bawdy Sea Shanty..!)
I kinda see Sins looking like   this!....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Tinker
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 11:36 AM

Alba, can I come hide at your house ?
I think we're in for big trouble....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 12:06 PM

Anytime Tinker, my hideout is your hideout...*Big Grin*

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 12:35 PM

AHEEEEMMMMM!
If I were flying around over Portland Head Light, it would be with a large bucket of seagull droppings. And you know who would be first on my list to receive some good luck.

No more sightings of tiny nuns but next Saturday is a Song Circle. Hopefully, the surveillance cameras will be in place by then.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Becca72
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 12:40 PM

Daaaad...Mary called it "Portland Head Light"!! (I know how much that bothers him...hehehehe).

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jacqui.c
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 12:50 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 03:00 PM

I don't get it, but I don't know why a city would need a headlight anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Tinker
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 03:25 PM

Maybe she meant a Red light ???? --- to go with the bawdy sea shanty

Heading to Alba's now.....

(cause SINSULL knows where I live...)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 04:21 PM

Backdoor open. Lock it behind you Tinker....the kettle is on.. and I have enough provisions for 4 days Best make it quickkkkk !
Just think we are on the run from a flying NUN! Who would that nun be you ask?...nun other than Sinsull of course!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Tinker
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 04:45 PM

She's a ramblin' tamblin' "nun-will-do-ya-hey"
She's ramblin' tamblin' an sassie
She's a ramblin' tamblin' "nun-will-do-ya-hey"
And the Capt'n's called her his lassie

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 07:39 PM

This could only happen to Sinsull, you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 11:34 AM

It has started again. A little blue nun and not the alcoholic kind (I think). Tucked away in an undusted candle in my bathroom. Lord only knows if she is a new addition or a dusty remnant of pranks past. SIGH

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Mickey191
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 01:06 PM

I went to public school-but met the Head Honcho Nun during religous instructions. Sister Bonaventure had that long, thick leather strap hanging from only she knows where. The black rosary beads hung along side. She scared the crap out of me-the only proper decriptive word was "Witchy" - I got hit once with that strap-can't recall why. The atmosphere was not condusive for learning.

I just learned a while ago that the most arrogant & abrasive priest anyone ever met - ran off & married   a nun. In my dreams I picture he & Bonaventure together--a match made in Hell. Tee Hee! (In reality I think she was too old-unless the Oedipus Complex was at work.

MY cousin is an Irish Christian Brother-the only person that pulls rank on him (I hear) is a nun. She takes no guff.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 05:40 PM

A blue nun? Is that a nun with swear words embroidered on her wimple?

Or is she a Poor Clare?

At least it's not a flamingo.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 11:49 AM

And yet another Josephite has surfaced in the bathroom. SIGH! This was is too drunk to stand and was found clinging to Joe Hill for support. Meantime a large (read VERY LARGE) lobster named Luigi has turned up at my doorstep. BIG BIG SIGH!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: JennyO
Date: 30 Aug 07 - 12:21 PM

Geeze, with all those things, the noisy galah I sent you last Christmas must have seemed very tame!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 02:57 AM

Bruahahahahahhaa!!!

Nun shall escape the wrath of NunZilla - planting her evil spawn in the most secret of places...

Glad to see the nun.. sorry, fun continues!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 31 Aug 07 - 05:11 AM

You often see Tiny Little Nuns on this site.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Naemanson
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 02:31 AM

I just stumbled on to this thread and I think it is shameful, yes, shameful, that someone has been foisting nuns off on poor Sins. Our poor sweet lady, so innocent, so undeserving of such attentions.

Of course, I am now working in a Catholic school. I see real nuns in action. They no longer wear the nun uniform. I guess they kicked the habit. And they no longer beat the children. I was pleased to note that I did not flinch when I first met Sister Regina and Sister Vincent. Sister Barbara is a little scary...

As for Wesley's comment way back in whenever, I too was beaten by a nun when I was little. My parents took me out of Catholic school shortly after they found the welts on my back.

Anyway, those who are guilty of doing such things to Sins should PM me immediately... I can afford to help!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alice
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 01:39 PM

We had the Sisters of Charity of Leavenworth Kansas for our teachers here in Montana.
I still have nightmares....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 01:43 PM

Oh the sisters of mercy they are not departed nor gone.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Big Mick
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 01:55 PM

Remind me to tell you all of the nun, Sister Primitive, who once chased a very nice, ..... well, ...... maybe a bit mischievious .... boy home and whipped his little, Irish, behind in the front yard .... it's all in the tellin' so's I will have to do it in person...

My kids, all post-Vatican II raised, cannot understand the fear of nuns. I try and describe to them these women, all dressed in Darth Vader outfits, coming at you with the sharp edge of a ruler, desiring to beat the divil out of you.....

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 02:24 PM

Mick, I can tell it for you if you'd like.

(She sounded more like Arnold as the evil Terminator than Darth Vader. OK - maybe the Terminator who arrived in local time in a convent and swiped a nun's habit to blend in...)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,Don Firth
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 08:05 PM

Very early (first page, I think) in his autobiography, The Mayor of MacDougal Street, Dave Van Ronk refers to one of his teachers as "Sister Attila Mary."

Worst nightmare time:   Here ya go!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alice
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 08:14 PM

This thread is also reminding me of the Blues Brothers movie and the "Penguin" at the orphanage.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Naemanson
Date: 01 Sep 07 - 08:42 PM

When I was in college my (x)wife and I lived for the winters in the summer housing on the beaches of Maine. Down at the end of the beach was a convent. Occasionally we would see a flock of penguins (nuns) walking the beach. You could always tell where they'd been because they left very distinctive tracks in their oh-so-sensible-and-ugly shoes.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Slag
Date: 02 Sep 07 - 01:57 AM

What is?:

Black
   and
      White,
         Black
            and
               White,
                  Black
                     and
                        White?

A nun rolling down a hill.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Naemanson
Date: 02 Sep 07 - 08:16 AM

Remember the Far Side cartoon with the penguin in the flock singing "I gotta be me..."

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 06:15 PM

Bastards! St. gertrude wasn't bad enough! Now another teenie tiny order is invading my bathroom. Tha's it! Nanny CAM in the John. You brought this on yourselves!
grumble grumble grumble

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 06:16 PM

Nun but the brave deserve the fare Mary.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: open mike
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 07:40 PM

We'll have nun of that!

check here for more...http://www.mcphee.com/
Archie McPhee has boxing nuns, and more.
including corn dog air freshener

(*rapaire check out the amazing librarian tatoos and action figures--
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11696.html)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 09:10 PM

THANK YOU OPEN MIKE!

Sinsull check this out.... 'Made for Alba'

and then this......The solution to the TLN problem

A Joyous Jude saying Thanks again Open Mike...*smile*

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Rowan
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 10:15 PM

Going to a state school meant I avoided experiencing nuns: I still got the strap occasnionally, probably for spelling mistakes. Frinds who had experienced nuns at school used to comment on two of the teaching orders that "the Mercies have no charity and the Charities have no mercy. I find it strange that we all were used to seeing wimples and thinking of stories about nuns but the sight of a hejab is regarded as disturbing.

Sisnsul, just be thankful your dealing with 1" high statuettes; there's a 5' high garden gnome that travels the folk scene around these parts.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,SINS
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 08:27 AM

Rowan,
Have you not heard of the 5' headless Jesus that appeared one night in my back yard. This is the dumping ground for unwanted Catholic paraphernalia.
grumble!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 08:50 AM

Where the hell was it!!?? I was in there and I didn't see it and trust me, I look. You never know where or when you're gonna find one.

Do you have enough so that somebody should buy you a tiny little convent for Christmas or Saint... (who's the patron saint of tiny little things?) Whosits day?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 09:15 AM

There IS no patron saint of small things! I see that Gertrude the Great has something to do with nuns, so maybe we could have a Gertrude the Small? Maybe Gertrude isn't that friendly of a name. We need someone who's nice and takes care of the little. I KNOW! Saint Glinda of Oz!

Now she just needs a Feast DAy.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: ranger1
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 09:47 AM

I wonder if I should add a couple of glow-in-the-dark plastic Marys to the mix...nope. Mary likes me, I think I'll keep it that way.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 06:55 AM

And just who is responsible for penguins everywhere - so far a pooping penguin, five little plastic penguins (not as small as the tiny nuns) and (so far) two stuck on the wall penguins? They are obnoxiously cute. I prefer the Hallelulahing Nuns. Micca by the way was amazed at how tiny the nuns are. Exactly 1" tall from the tips of their upraised arms to the tips of their oh so sensible shoes. And there are several different habits represented.
Why were they even manufactured?
My dread is that someone purchased a wholesale lot on Ebay for $1.98 and some day my bathtub will be filled with tiny nuns.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 08:39 AM

I can vouch for the sudden influx of creatures of the Family Spheniscidae. There seem to be several species represented, one at least has religious leanings as it is standing next to the VM in the Lourdes grotto replica (Dont ask!!!!)
Is this due to Climate change?
Is Maine suddenly colder?/due an extra hard winter?
or maybe there is a world shortage of Nuns?
or perhaps the "perpetrator" is short sighted and made a purchasing (or shop-lifting) error? (maybe you are a haven for stolen nuns!!!)
Maybe its the great Penguin expedition to determine if the world is round and you are harbouring the Penguin equivelent of Christoforo Columbus!!! or a penguin Marco Polo.
I offer the above as suggestions a hypothesis for possible explanations, based on Scientific examination of the current situation, the pooping penguin I know the origin of as I bought it at Hannafords the other day AFTER the first "new"penguin had appeared and It was presented in its box as supplied and I can get a note from my Mum to say so!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 02:00 PM

Oh Gawd!!!, There are FLAT guys (penguins) that seem to be stuck to windows and bookcases etc as well as the 3D ones!!!!! Nuns and Penguins in this house Flamingos elsewhere, I seem to have wandered through the Looking Glass!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 02:38 PM

I found flat penguins in the kitchen and the bathroom. There are more?
TAMI????? Cellar!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 02:46 PM

P P P P P P Pick up a Penguin, a P P P P P Penguin.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 03:13 PM

For those of you planning to attend the 2008 Getaway, some advance preparation is in order if you were once haunted by nuns.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 04:14 PM

Actually Amos, St Gertrude, St. Vivian and St. anne have found their way into my house. I am the depository for unwanted crap.
But a thought!!!!! How about we put on the Sound Of Music next year with Joe Offer as Maria and Jacqui as von Trappe or in this case von Crappe?
I have some inflatable horses for riding through the hills.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 04:37 PM

Are they something like THESE, Sins?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: ranger1
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 06:08 PM

Mary, I keep telling you, if I were going to plant things in your house, it would be glow-in-the-dark Virgin Marys.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 06:36 PM

That's them, kat! Figures, I get the nuns and someone else gets to keep the catapult.
LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 11:18 PM

Mary. your fired!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Becca72
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 07:19 AM

Pssst...Jacqui....they have clear plastic penguins that light up at the Christmas Tree Sh..oh, Hi Mary.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jacqui.c
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 08:09 AM

Becca - Micca and I saw then yesterday - we're still considering..........

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Becca72
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 08:30 AM

We could line the driveway with them...like luminaries. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jacqui.c
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 08:40 AM

Nah - too much chance of her squashing them flat when she drives in - by accident, of course!

The back yard needs a replacement for Headless Jesus though.............

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Becca72
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 08:43 AM

It does indeed.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 09:15 AM

But who sells plaster penguins?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Tinker
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 09:38 AM

The Big Lot near me has a great price on an inflatable pengin duo . Is there electric outside?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 11:00 AM

Did somebody say, "Penguins?"
OH, MY!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jacqui.c
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 11:36 AM

Tink - yes there is.

Kat - Oh My indeed! A real treasure trove!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 11:39 AM

And again

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jacqui.c
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 11:49 AM

MMMMMmmmmmmm.................

Latex..............

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: curmudgeon
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 11:53 AM

FWIW, penguin poop is pink!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 11:55 AM

Minds me of the lad that asks the hooker what he can get for $20.

"A penguin."

Curious, he hands over the money.

She drops his drawers and starts on him. When he is just about to, she gets up and walks away.

And, there he is, with his pants around his ankles, walking awkwardly after her.... "Wait, wait!"

It's a visual, really. Like the one-armed man counting change.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 12:27 PM

Who let you in here!?!?

Maybe we could hire Danny DeVito to stand outside for a while.

I'm serious here. What we need is a plaster penguin that's at least 4' high. I wonder if I can remember how to make an armature...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 12:32 PM

Hey youra dog bitta my elbow Guiseppe!
Thassa OK, Giovanni, he can'ta help it, he's a arma chewer.

G

I'll get my coat

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 01:41 PM

Has there been a formal declaration of war? Oversized crap at 40 paces? I know where you all live and that includes Jeri.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 01:42 PM

That was me on Micca's page.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 02:04 PM

And to add insult to injury (Still SINS) a murder attempt. Who put the little pink duck in the bathtub? I nearly broke my neck on it this morning?
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 02:10 PM

If you're gonna let these total whack jobs into your house, you should expect these little surprises...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 02:20 PM

The Google ad thingie doesn't seem to be too 'with it'... nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun penguin nun penguin nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun penguin penguin penguin nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun penguin penguin nuns nun penguin nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns nun nuns

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Nov 07 - 04:10 PM

No plaster ones, but our local Walgreen's has a giant blow-up penguin, for outdoor holiday decorating, for only 19.99!

I think ya'd really have to watch those 7 inch latex ones!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Nov 07 - 10:41 AM

Two more nuns - which seems to incriminate Linn and Tom becaus eone of them was found upstairs. One was hiding in the living room where I haven't dusted since who knows when so there's no telling how long she's been tucked away behind Humpty Dumpty.

The pooping penguin is constipated. Can't get him to work - a foul fowl! Yeah I know - he's not a bird. He's certainly not a seagull.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Becca72
Date: 18 Nov 07 - 11:37 AM

Damn...we don't have Walgreen's here...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Nov 07 - 02:10 PM

Becca, here is one online, though I think it may be shorter than the one at Walgreen's: Click Here.

I could certainly make a trip to Walgreen's, but I think postage would probably be a bit outrageous, but then it would be for Mary, so maybe that would be fitting!**bg**

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: ranger1
Date: 19 Nov 07 - 08:10 AM

You know, I keep getting blamed for planting things in Mary's house, maybe time I ought to start?

Be afraid, Mary, very afraid!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Nov 07 - 08:19 AM

I have a solution to the problem. I will put a large garbage can at the entrance to the front door with a note "Please Deposit All Nuns Penguins and Religious Paraphernalia Here"
I wouldn't mind a meercat or two if they were very tiny and non-furry. Wood would be nice.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Aug 08 - 09:38 AM

It has happened again and this time I think Jacqui had something to do with it. Just befor ethe festival she asked me if the plague of nuns had died out. I mused that the store supplying my tormentor must have run out because no nw additions to tne conent have appeared in many months. So...this morning I go to hang an oven mitt by what was once a wood stove's chimney and there in all her glory was another white nun hallaluyahing for all to see.

The saddest part of this episode is that now Gordon Bok is suspect. Didn't the first appear on the New Year's Eve he and Carole joined us for dinner?

SINS, seeing conspiracies around every corner.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Oct 08 - 01:52 PM

Maybe they just moved indoors with the cold weather. But they are back and multiplying. And they brought a few of their friends - assorted glow in the dark virgins, infants of Prague and saviors not to mention some very tiny penguins.

Tami is at the to p of the suspect list and I know where she lives.


Did I mention the Peacock from Hell? Very addition.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 23 Oct 08 - 03:04 PM

Sins, don't forget the complete "matchbox" Holy family that materialised recently also!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Oct 08 - 03:50 PM

SIGH - I was trying to forget it, Micca. A strange piece. It is a creche made of a tiny matchbox and filled with hand-painted holy family, sheep and shepherds. Someone spent a lot of time on it. Probably as much as Tami's Mom did on Our Lady Of The Coke Bottle.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Oct 08 - 04:36 PM

Invite the neighborhood kids in for a scavenger hunt, and once they clear the place out, don't let anyone else back into the house without a strip search. That ought to take care of the problem.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Oct 08 - 04:44 PM

It would have to be a full body cavity search with this crowd and I won't go there.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 23 Oct 08 - 05:11 PM

SRS its the sheer BIZARRE ingenuity of the perpetrators... A penguin appeared in the model of the Lourdes grotto next to the BVM sharing the prayers of the crowd.... a luminous "Child of Prague" appeared, glowing , in a dark space of a bookcase... the set of Russian dolls acquired an extra figure,,,, so that one didnt catch the presence of something alien for a while because it looked like it SHOULD be there.

" What do I care if it rains or freezes
as long as Ive got Flourescent Jesus
glowing on the Bathroom shelf at home
Lots of nuns and a Holy Mary
keep me safe and feeling Leery
staying on the right of the See and Rome

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: ranger1
Date: 23 Oct 08 - 08:06 PM

Yes, Mary, you do know where my apartment is, but can you find it again? And I can say, with all honesty, that I have planted nothing in your house since August 2nd.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Oct 08 - 11:47 PM

I looked it up, I see what a "Child of Prague" is, but what is it actually? What does it do? It sounds as superstitious as my holiday Nissetroll. (Guarding things and bringing luck.)   :-)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 24 Oct 08 - 04:23 AM

SRS The background "infant of Prague" can be found Here but in Marys house Imagine approx 1" high, green, luminous, figures of this, complete with the Crown of St Stephen picked out in gold!! and you have the overall effect, as I said before Bizarre!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: bfdk
Date: 24 Oct 08 - 05:55 AM

Have you considered putting your nuns on the pill, Mary? ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,Mother Superior TLN Convent
Date: 24 Oct 08 - 07:14 AM

Happy Birthday Blessings Sister Mary.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Oct 08 - 07:22 AM

How many candles should we light?


XG

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Oct 08 - 08:08 AM

Infant of Prague was the birthday gift from hell which my mother got almost every year. About a foot tall and dressed in lace and satin with a little crown. Wonder what she did with them? THere were none when we cleaned out the house.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Oct 08 - 08:12 AM

I would prefer a blank Czech, Sins.

XG

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: gnu
Date: 24 Oct 08 - 09:47 AM

I wouldn't put up with nun of that crap.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 24 Oct 08 - 12:51 PM

Still no sign of the catapult?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Crane Driver
Date: 24 Oct 08 - 07:54 PM

TWO hundred!

(posts, not nuns)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Oct 08 - 08:26 PM

Don't be too sure, Andrew...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Crane Driver
Date: 25 Oct 08 - 05:31 AM

Oh, I'm reliably informed there are WAY more than 200 nuns, Mary!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Naemanson
Date: 26 Oct 08 - 03:21 AM

I have my own version on tiny nuns. The school where I work is attached to a convent. The smallest is Sister Fidelis, 85 years old and tiny but still sharp and bright. There is an older nun all bent over with osteoporosis. I haven't spoken with her but I see her at banquets and mass.

Note, I am about as un-Catholic as anyone can be. It is an interesting study.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Jan 09 - 04:49 PM

No more nuns to report but...irony. I wandered into a pet shop yesterday and found a strange little lady selling items for "Friends of Feral Felines". I bought a few things including an action figure - Crazy Cat Lady which included an assortment of tiny cats.
Fast Forward to Sunday Am - I decide to retrieve the sheets from upstairs and launder them and wht do I find???? YUP. A Crazy Cat Lady action figure. Maybe one is for Linn unless of course she left one?????

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 18 Jan 09 - 05:11 PM

Mary, in that shop that had the Crazy Cat lady, did they have a "Thought powered" remote control for Moggies? dont bother with one, It doesnt work on Little Wugsie!!!, i dont know if Liz's worked but mine definately didn't!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Jan 09 - 06:07 PM

Mine is working fine... I set it to record last night and it worked... the cat repeated its behaviour all over again this morning.

So after I'd cleared that up, I tried it on the visiting ginger and white one. I think it only works on tabby cats.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Jan 09 - 06:23 PM

I've already got one, Mary -- Tom gave the Crazy Cat Lady to me for Christmas a couple years ago. And I know where mine is -- and it ain't in your upstairs bedroom! So haven't a clue as to where that one came from unless you treated yourself to one and forgot and got another. (I do that with books all the time; sigh.)

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jan 09 - 06:53 PM

Someone hid one in your bedding Yer friends are crazier than mine, and... well, you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Art Thieme
Date: 19 Jan 09 - 02:25 AM

Sister Mary Godzilla protected our VW Bus from 1967 to 1970. She was a small, yes, tiny, three inch T-rex glued to the dashboard.

Whatever it takes!!!!!!

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Jan 09 - 11:21 AM

LOL Art. There used to be a Nunzilla that spit sparks when you wound her up. I have at least one somewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Becca72
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 11:05 AM

Where did you get the crazy cat lady figure?? I'm working on becoming one :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 08:39 AM

I have two, Becca. Want one?

The nuns continue to multiply but this week a new arrival - tiny little cats with a CATapult. Less intimidating than the nasty little ruler-flailing bitches. Take note - a theme change is in the wind.First the Tuxedo King Cat; now little flying kitties. And hopefully, no more nuns.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: olddude
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 08:51 AM

My fifth grade teacher was Sister Rose Agnes. She was like a 1000 years old then. A few years ago when my aunt died my brother and I were at the funeral home and we heard my mom say ... boys Sister Rose is here and wants to see you. My brother and I stood there with a look of horror known only to soldiers in battle or women in child birth completely in shock.I saw my brother swallow his chewing gum. After she left my mom said, ya know boys -she never forgot you, she never like either of you but she never forgot you ...


woooooooooo

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 10:36 AM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Becca72
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 10:45 AM

My wicked step mother bought me a crazy cat lady for my birthday, Sins...but thanks for the offer :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 12:37 PM

Geez Mary, why dont you quit, nuns, Penguins, and now cats????? What the Hell is going on???

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 01:00 PM

Hmmmm. One wonders what the Maine contingent will try to pull off at the Getaway this year. Is the rumor true that they're all coming dressed as tiny little nuns?
I gotta see Sister Mary Kendall dressed like that.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: gnu
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 01:38 PM

Hmmmm.... Sister Mary Kendall?... a nun with a leather habit?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Becca72
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 02:35 PM

I don't think I like the way this is heading....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: gnu
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 02:45 PM

Thnaks for the heads up.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Don Firth
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 04:00 PM

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and blue?

A nun falling downstairs.

(rimshot!!)

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: MMario
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 04:02 PM

well - we can't complain, really - we had 8 months and 9 days without the tiny nuns...

this time.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 04:20 PM

Alas, Joe, I will be sitting home in my leather habit all dressed up with no place to go. No Getaway for me this year. The cupboard is bare.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Sep 09 - 04:43 PM

I thought nuns were interesting. The people up the street were Catholic, and everything they owned was dominated by an Infant. Infants were their thing. I went to church... er, 'mass' with them once and it was mostly in Latin. It was good to see what other people were doing, but I never developed any lasting nun-related phobia or fondness.

And Mary, you dear, sweet paranoid old bat, I WAS NOT THERE!!! Someone ELSE did this. (Nobody said they saw me sneaking around, did they?)

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Naemanson
Date: 30 Sep 09 - 04:42 AM

This seems to be a good place to tell you that Wakana and I will be in Maine from December 22 to January 1. Our best shot at visiting is on December 31. Anybody interested in taking in a freezing pair of tropical birds?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Janie
Date: 30 Sep 09 - 09:44 AM

Mother Mary will not be at the Getaway?

Oh Nooooo.....

"This is not good. This is not right."

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Sep 09 - 10:07 AM

The aeronautically challenged kitties came from Richard and Hilary. Along with a doodly bug, chocolates, mugs...mostly I love the kitties.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Sep 09 - 10:35 AM

Ah HA! Now I get it. Pro-cat, anti-nun prejudice. S'ok--it was nice of them (but totally nontraditional) to give you stuff you like.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Joe Offer
Date: 01 Oct 09 - 12:09 AM

Alas! What will the Getaway be without Sister Mary Mary? Do change your mind, dear Sister. I'm sure Kendall won't mind tying you to his roof...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: ranger1
Date: 01 Oct 09 - 02:22 AM

Mary and I are having a pity party, she just doesn't know it yet. Maeve, want to join us?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: maeve
Date: 01 Oct 09 - 07:21 AM

Can you believe I DREAMED about the Getaway last night, though I've never been and it's likely I never will? ranger 1, I'd consider a party, but I avoid pity like the plague.

Truth is I'm using up my penny's worth of a travel allowance on the Goulder events. That was some wonderful house concert!

m

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,Peter C
Date: 26 Oct 09 - 09:50 AM

I remember Sister Nuncaita in Adelaide orphanage (Largs Bay) we were escaping one night 3 of us we were 6yo. she was at the foot of the stairs , arms folded below breasts that you could have landed and aircraft on. we were terrified. I think I still have the marks from the brush on my arse and that was 1956....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Dec 09 - 09:02 PM

I bet she couldn't figure out why you were running away.

A new horror - Ceramic Creche Trinket Box. And a frog of unspeakable colors wearing specs and carrying a mop. All will be put in reach of the cats.