Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST,keberoxu
Date: 03 Sep 19 - 02:42 PM

Faulkner?      Close, gargoyle, but no cigar:

that author was
Flannery O'Connor.

Which story put me in mind of
The Devil's Curst Wife for some reason.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Ross Campbell
Date: 02 Sep 19 - 07:36 PM

GUEST
Date: 31 Aug 19 - 09:12 PM

Ray Johnson of Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers performs "Nineteen years old" on a YouTube clip that I can't find at the moment. Monologue rather than a song, although a tune readily suggested itself when I wanted to sing it.

Ross

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST,Starship
Date: 01 Sep 19 - 10:26 AM

GUEST
Date: 31 Aug 19 - 09:12 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_yHe9N4bX0

Found the melody you want at that link. (Listened to two stanzas and wish I hadn't, but there ya go.)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST,Starship
Date: 01 Sep 19 - 10:03 AM

GUEST
Date: 23 Jun 15 - 02:57 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFkAqixIIAU

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST,Starship
Date: 01 Sep 19 - 09:47 AM

GUEST
Date: 31 Aug 19 - 09:12 PM

The lyrics are there. Couldn't find anything on YouTube.

https://www.horntip.com/html/songs_sorted_by_name/with_music/d/a_dandy_for_nineteen_years_old.htm

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Aug 19 - 09:12 PM

Does any know where I can get an audio of A Dandy For Nineteen Years Old ? I have heard The Very Unfortunate Man, that's not it. I heard A Dandy For 19 once on an open mike radio. Thank you.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jun 15 - 02:57 PM

Looking for a ditty about Mable on the Table.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST,cookie708
Date: 29 Nov 11 - 05:37 AM

After the ball was over,
Nellie took out her glass eye....
Put her false teeth in water,
Hung up her hair to dry...
Put her false leg in the corner,
Hung her tin ear on the wall...
Then what was left she put to bed,
After the ball

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Declan
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 07:05 AM

One version of this I heard years ago (sung by Mick Fitzgerald) was called "The bright silvery light of the moon", which I assume is a parody of another song with the same title, although I don't know the original song.

It ends up withe cautionary lines "You could wind up just lke me, Marrying a woman and half a tree, by the bright silvery light of the moon".

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Genie
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 11:43 PM

I know this is not the song you were looking for, Art, but there's a verse in the Weavers' song Get Up And Go that's along the same lines:

MY GET UP AND GO HAS GOT UP AND WENT

Cho:

How do I know my youth is all spent?
My get up and go has got up and went
In spite of it all, I'm able to grin
When I think of the places my get up has been

Old age is golden, I think I've heard said
But sometimes I wonder as I crawl into bed
My ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup
My eyes on the table until I wake up

...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 08:21 PM

The Unfortunate Man--sung by Chad Mitchell Trio (also Jimmie Driftwood?).

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 07:26 PM

I believe it is Faulkner who... has a titilating tale of a Bible salesmen...that works his way through the Appalachian Hills....seducing one legged women and then stealing their prosthesis.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST, Lady C
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 07:18 PM

My Mum used to sing the After the Ball version -
After the ball was over
Nelly took out her glass eye
Put her false teeth into water
Shook up her packets of dye
Stood her cork leg in the corner
Hung up her wig on the wall
All that is left goes to bye-byes
After the ball.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Captain Ginger
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 04:29 PM

Thanks for that, gargoyle; I'd forgotten just how good e.e.cummings could be.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Fliss
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 03:49 PM

Soz to hear that Dave. xx

ee cummings seems to be on another thread too.... 'with up so floating many bells down'(Anyone)

Subject: Lyr Add: my sweet old etcetera (e e cummings)
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 03:34 PM

Not a Lyric - but a delightful poem for memorization - and recitation (the pregnant pause is playfully powerful) "My Sweet Etcetera" by E.E. CUMMINGS ... conjures thought of a woman removed.

my sweet old etcetera
aunt lucy during the recent
war could and what
is more did tell you just
what everybody was fighting
for,
my sister
isabel created hundreds
(and
hundreds)of socks not to
mention shirts fleaproof earwarmers
etcetera wristers etcetera, my
mother hoped that
i would die etcetera
bravely of course my father used
to become hoarse talking about how it was
a privilege and if only he
could meanwhile my
self etcetera lay quietly
in the deep mud et
cetera
(dreaming,
et
    cetera, of
Your smile
eyes knees and of your Etcetera)


Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST,Dave Hunt
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 11:25 AM

Thank you Fliss - it is still not right - I,m still on crutches after 7 months!
Dave(Dr.Sunshine)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: jimlad9
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:30 AM

A variation on some of the previous is:

They were two newly-weds.
She had just made the beds.
And as they climbed the stairs they felt a little shy.
She took out her glass-eye,her false teeth on the sly.
Her golden hair she hung upon the chandelier.
Then next her wooden leg she placed beside the bed.
And what was left of her she put between the blankets.
She said "come on my dear"
He said "no bleedin' fear,I'd rather stay out here amongst your sovenirs"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 04:57 AM

I'm not so hip,
but I got two hips,
new hips
steel hips
hip hip hooray.
I feel like a hippy again.

Giok

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Fliss
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 03:44 AM

Was it 'side by side' that the Corries sang?

Hi Dr Sunshine - are replacement hips to do with body parts being removed... hip hop, sunshine and smiles... Fliss:)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Wordsmith
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 12:03 AM

I never knew the name of the song, but an Irish friend of mine regaled me with it one night eons ago in her Chicago apartment over a cup of tea. It had me rolling...I laughed so hard, tears flowed.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 11:57 PM

Guest/Martin...do you mean THESE LYRICS? (Email sent.)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Jim I
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:44 PM

There is an article on this at

http://www.mustrad.org.uk/articles/dung05.htm

As to the wooden leg/fiddle song, isn't that "The Town of Ballybay by Tommy Makem?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:15 PM

Louie Roy if you ever read this ... i'm a peter sellers fan and i'm searching for the song CIGAREETES, WHUSKY AND WILD, WILD WOMEN ... if you've got that in any version, please send it to me at [e-mail]

Thank you very very much

Martin

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 09:20 PM

. . ."with 'er 'ead, tooked, underneath 'er arm!"

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: bubblyrat
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:05 PM

In the navy,we sang a song to the tune of "Among my souvenirs",where the lady gradually removes EVERYTHING until all that is left is her fundamental orifice, whereupon the following ensues :-
" She said " I"m ready Dear ! " :
He said " No bloody fear !-
Just chuck it over here,
    among my souvenirs ! " "

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:48 PM

I said "Darling of mine,it's a quarter past nine,
I think it is bedtime don't you"?
So she rose from the chair, took off her false hair,
Her white pearly tetth came out too.
One leg made of wood, one eye was a dud,
Her nose she began to unscrew!
And I cried with dismay, as her bust fell away,
Am I wasting my time on you?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Scotus
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:45 PM

One night at halfpast ten, comin' down the Rothes Glen, I met a fair maiden called Calhoun - - -

The night that we got wed, she was first to go to bed, Oh what a sight when I came in the room, there was her teeth and her golden hair, and her wooden leg on the chair, by the bright silvery light of the moon.

etc.

Jack

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:25 PM

Try a search for DT number 651 for sone variations on what we cakk the "dismembered bride" theme.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Louie Roy
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:04 PM

It also could be related to I can't change her it had these lines

Then I got married like a lot of foolish men
I met a girl bought a ring got married there and then
But after we were married I got taken down a peg
Her teeth her eyes her hair was False
And she had a wooden leg
But I can't change her no I can't change her
No matter how I try
So I'll trade her off for cord wood in the sweet by and by

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Goose Gander
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 05:54 PM

Here are Some related threads plus the DT text.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST,Scoville
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 05:36 PM

There's a parody of "After the Ball" in which "there was nothing left of Maggie after the ball", since she takes off her wig, glass eye, wooden leg, false teeth, etc. Pretty funny.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: 12-stringer
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 05:27 PM

Joe:

"My Little Girl" is a Broadway song from the 1910s.

My little girl, you know I love you and I long for you each day,
My little girl, I'm thinking of you, though you're many miles away.
There was a time down in the wildwood when you promised you'd be true,
My little girl, you know I love you and I'm coming back to you.

Several hillbilly string band recordings in the 20s, including the Spooney Five, plus a delightfully off-key rendition by Haskell Wolfenbarger. The Revard band do the straight verse, then add another, approximate and off the top of my head as to lyrics. (Actually, with the LP not in reach, I think they do the comic verse first and then the straight one.)

My little girl, you got sleepy, and you went upstairs to bed.
You put your glass eye on the mantle, and your peg leg under the bed.
You put your twelve teeth on the dresser and your blonde wig in the chair.
My little girl, you know I love you, but you're scattered here and there.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 04:58 PM

Sounds like "Unfrortunate Man", posted above, to me. I am impressed anyone else knew it!! I've sung it for decades.


A

Subject: Lyr Add: A DANDY FOR NINETEEN YEARS OLD
From: Fred McCormick
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:45 PM

It sounds to me as though the song you're looking for is called The Damsel (or the Virgin of Nineteen years Old). In it, the singer meets and marries a young girl who then dismantles herself on her wedding night. It's in DT as A DANDY FOR NINETEEN YEARS OLD, from Logsdon, Whorehouse Bells Were Ringing pp.197-199. But for convenience I've pasted it below.


As I went a-strollin' down by the Strand,
I met a fair damsel so handsome and grand;
She wore jewelry and finery of silver and gold,
And says I, "You're a dandy for nineteen years old."

Her fingers were tapered; her neck like a swan,
Her nose a little turned up an' her- voice not too strong;
Six weeks we were married and wedding bells tolled,
I married my darlin', just nineteen years old.

After the wedding, we retired to rest,
Did my face change colors when my young wife undressed
A bundle of padding from her form did unfold,
Says I, "You're a dandy for nineteen years old."

She took off her fingers, till I counted but three,
Unscrewed her cork leg plumb up to her knee,
Took out her glass eye, on the carpet it rolled,
An' says I, "You're a dandy for nineteen years old."

As I stood and I watched her, I thought I would faint,
She scraped from her pale face a bushel of paint;
She took off her wig an' her bald head then told
She was nearer to ninety than ta' nineteen years old.

So come all you young fellers when you courtin' to go
Inspect your true love from her head to her toe,
Or else you'll be ruined like me and be sold
To a patched-up old geezer who's ninety years old.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE VERY UNFORTUNATE MAN
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:36 PM

The Very Unfortunate Man

There was a lawyer, his name was Clay
He had but two clients and they wouldn't pay
At last of starvation he grew so afraid
That he courted and married a wealthy old maid

At the wedding the lawyer made one big mistake
'Twas not in omitting the wine or the cake
The ring was well chosen, they had a big feed
But the lawyer did not get a warranty deed

At night in their chamber the lady arose
And began to prepare to retire and repose
Her husband stood near her admiring her charms
That gave him such pleasure to hold in his arms

She went to the washstand to bathe her fair face
And thus she destroyed all her beauty and grace
The rose on her cheek quickly grew faint
When he saw on the towel, 'twas nothing but paint

He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man

She went to the mirror to take down her hair
And when she had done so her scalp was all bare
Said she, don't be frightened to see my bald head
I'll put on a cap when I get into bed

She hung her false hair on the wall on a peg
And then she proceeded to take off her leg
Her quivering husband felt sure he would die
When she asked him to come and take out her glass eye

He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man

Her husband was biting his quivering lips
While she removed her counterfeit hips
Just then her false nose clattered down to the floor
And the poor lawyer, screaming, ran out of the door

Now all you young men who would marry for life
Be sure to examine your intended wife
Remember the lawyer who trusted his eyes
And a little bit later got quite a surprise

He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man


Giok

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Leadfingers
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:31 PM

Ruth - Your Irish song was written ( I think ) by Liam Clancy and is a different song !
In the town of Mullingar there was a lassie dwelling
I knew her very well and her story's worth the telling
Her father kept a still and he was a fine distiller
And when sh took to drink , the Devil couldnt fill her

Subject: Lyr Add: BURGLAR MAN
From: pdq
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:24 PM

Burglar man

I'll tell you a story 'bout a burglar man who went to rob a house
He creeped in at the window just as quietly as a mouse
Thinkin' of the money that he would get, as under the bed he lay
He certainly saw a sight that night that made hes hair turn gray

About nice o'clock an old maid came in, "I'm so tired" she said
Thinkin' everything would be alright, she forgot to look under the bed
She pulled out her teeth, and her big glass eye, and her hair came from off'n her head
That burglar man had nineteen fits as he crawled from under the bed

She drew a pistol from out of the drawer, and to this burglar man said
"Young man if you don't marry me, I'll blow off the top of your head"
We'll he looked at her teeth and her big glass eye, and he had no place to scoot
So he turned to the old maid standin' by, and said "Woman, for the Lord's sake shoot"

Now the burglar man is dead I know, but I don't know where he's gone
Up above, or down below, I'm now thru singin' this song

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Goose Gander
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:18 PM

Discussed briefly in this thread

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Leadfingers
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:13 PM

And , come to thin of it , Steve Benbow used to do one , Maybe The Burglar Man , with the punch line "Lady for the Lord's sake , SHOOT!"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: artbrooks
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:13 PM

I think it is a version of Side by Side that I'm thinking of.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:13 PM

There was an Irish one that i used to hear in a pub in Kentish Town, with a verse that went

She had a wooden leg
It was hollow in the middle
She took it in her hand
And she played it like a fiddle...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Joe Offer
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:12 PM

I think Old Maid and the Burglar is the Digital Tradition name for what pdq calls "Burglar Man." I couldn't find anything like 12-stringer's "My Little Girl" - do you have lyrics you can post, 12-stringer?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: Leadfingers
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:11 PM

Art - there are a number of variations - Side by Side ws the first one I learned , closely followed by a similar rewrite of After the Ball ! There are variations of both of these in the D T !

Subject: Lyr Add: SIDE BY SIDE and AFTER THE BALL (parodies
From: GUEST,Dave Hunt
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:09 PM

There is a whole family of these 'spare parts' songs

Side By Side
O we got married on Friday, the4 vicar said it was my day
When the guests had all gone, we were alone side by side
We got ready for bed then, and I nearly dropped dead when
Her false teeth and hair, she laid on a chair side by side

Picture my amazement when her glass eye she let fall
Her wooden leg and other things she stood up against the wall
Now me and my wife we are parted before we even got started
I slept on the chair - there was more of her there
Side by side

But there is also one to the tune of After the Ball

After the baall was over she sat on the sofa and cried
s
She put her false teeth in salt water and took out her lovely glass eye
She threw her peg leg in the corner, and hung up her wig in the wall
Then the rest of her went to bye-byes
After the Ball!

And Geoff Ling of Blaxhall wrote one to 'Among my souvenirs'
Dave

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: 12-stringer
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:59 PM

Also "My Little Girl," by Jimmie Revard's Oklahoma Playboys, has an almost identical verse, with wig, glass eye, false teeth, and peg leg. "My little girl, you know I love you, but you're scattered here and there."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: pdq
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:42 PM

Also "The Burgler Man".

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: ClaireBear
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:42 PM

Yes, it is a version of "In the Shade of the Old Apple Tree." Joe offer posted the lyrics here.

Claire

Subject: Lyr Add: IN THE SHADE OF THE OLD APPLE TREE(parody
From: JeremyC
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:39 PM

Wasn't that "In the Shade of the Old Apple Tree"?

As Ramblin' Jack sings it,

"Her glass eye and false teeth were on the mantle
And on the bed, she hung her locks of hair
And there was only one thing that filled my heart with sadness:
She pitched her wooden leg upon the chair...
And it was a limb from that old apple tree (etc.)"

Or does that come from something else originally?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:37 PM

Side by Side

Subject: Lyr Req: Lady with missing parts
From: artbrooks
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:34 PM

OK...what is the song about the lady who takes a gent home and proceeds to remove her eye, wooden leg, etc? My brain is apparently on vacation.

---

A Dandy for Nineteen Years Old

Old Maid and the Burglar

Shade of the Old Apple Tree