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Lyr Req/Add: Deacon Jones Songs

GUEST,Bob Coltman 09 Feb 07 - 09:34 AM
GUEST,Bob Coltman 09 Feb 07 - 09:39 AM
Q (Frank Staplin) 09 Feb 07 - 02:10 PM
GUEST,Bob Coltman 09 Feb 07 - 07:21 PM
GUEST,Bob Coltman 10 Feb 07 - 08:02 AM
GUEST,Bob Coltman 10 Feb 07 - 09:06 AM
GUEST,T. LATOURRETTE 23 May 11 - 10:44 PM
Jim Dixon 30 May 11 - 09:57 PM
Joe Offer 31 May 11 - 03:48 AM
Joe Offer 31 May 11 - 04:11 AM
Joe Offer 31 May 11 - 04:54 AM
Joe Offer 31 May 11 - 05:00 AM
Jim Dixon 02 Jun 11 - 05:38 PM
Jim Dixon 02 Jun 11 - 06:13 PM
Jim Dixon 02 Jun 11 - 07:01 PM
Jim Dixon 02 Jun 11 - 07:27 PM
Jim Dixon 04 Dec 11 - 02:50 PM
GUEST 07 Dec 12 - 06:02 PM
GUEST,Johnny Mudphlaps 15 Feb 14 - 06:00 PM
Jim Dixon 16 Feb 14 - 12:49 AM
GUEST,Zweitaktmotor 06 Dec 16 - 12:40 PM
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Subject: Lyr Req: Deacon Jones
From: GUEST,Bob Coltman
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 09:34 AM

Does anyone have lyrics to "Deacon Jones," an old traditional Southern bawdy song? It seems to have been widespread but subterranean -- no surprise, given its apparent content.

Boozoo Chavis did a version on his great 90s CD Who Stole My Monkey, but I can't make out many of the words. Can anyone do better with that track? The Mp3 is at Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-reviews/B00000I5KA/

Any other bawdy lyrics for "Deacon Jones" would be greatly appreciated.

I'll put some supplementary information in a second message. Bob


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Deacon Jones
From: GUEST,Bob Coltman
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 09:39 AM

Deacon Jones is a long-lived folk figure in the south, a churchgoing stalwart who is always up for preachin', prayin', dicin', drinkin' and mowin' down the women.

He is famously mentioned in "Alabama Jubilee," and called "The black sky-pilot of old Dixie Land" in Skidmore and Walker's 1917 "It Takes a Long Tall Brown Skin Gal to Make a Preacher Lay His Bible Down." But those songwriters were working off an earlier and much raunchier tradition.

The Mississippi Shieks have a verse:

Old Deacon Jones he was a preachin' king,
They caught him round the house tryin' to shake that thing."

But the Shieks couldn't have gotten away with putting the original "Deacon Jones" on a record. Making it hard now, of course, to reconstruct the song.

Once again, can anyone quote this song's lyrics, or point to sources? Bob


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Deacon Jones
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 02:10 PM

About all I remember is one line from one of the 'acceptable' songs, "Alabama Jubilee" (American Memory), "You ought to see Deacon Jones when he rattles them bones."

A song composed by G. P. Lampard back in 1878 is in American Memory, "Deacon Jones Collection or the Church Sexton." Again, not too good.

Paul Laurence Dunbar, in his Lyrics of Lowly Life, 1896, included his "Deacon Jones Grievance." Everybody used to know Deacon Jones.

We seen to have lost much of the Deacon Jones repertoire. Nothing in Randolph-Legman, Cray, or Stag Lines.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Deacon Jones
From: GUEST,Bob Coltman
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 07:21 PM

Hello Q,

Yes, I scoured through Talley, Newman I. White, Dorothy Scarborough and both books by Odum and Johnson, but the elusive Deacon doesn't seem to appear in any of them. I have the feeling that this song was never cleaned up for polite company as "Uncle Bud" sometimes was.

"Deacon Jones" seems to be on the same pattern as "Uncle Bud," though I can't put together any very helpful lines. On the sound sample referenced above, the best I can do sounds like:

DEACON JONES

[ My honey when he get the wall, ?? ]
Bet a hundred dollar he could fuck 'em all,

Cho:   Deacon Jones, Deacon Jones, Deacon Jones, Deacon Jones.

...
Jack off the one and put the turn [?] to two, Cho

Got anywhere ... [ ? ] to him,
Fuck the devil any ... [ ? ] slim. Cho

That at least gives you a notion what the general shape of it is. Bob


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Deacon Jones
From: GUEST,Bob Coltman
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 08:02 AM

Though Louis Jourdan's estate apparently has a policy of not releasing his "Deacon Jones" lyrics -- perhaps because he made it as a successful mainstream R&B man and wanted to leave his less creditable songs behind him -- these lyrics do appear in an article about him, which calls it "some of his greatest ethnic performances."

They are, of course, cleaned up, and excerpted. Can anyone quote his version in its complete form?

DEACON JONES

As sung by Louis Jourdan (part only)

Who gets all the chicken breast
And leaves all the gizzards for the rest?
    Deacon Jones, yes yes yes ...

And when a sister's feeling blue,
Who's always there to woo?
    Deacon Jones, oh yeah ...

And before any of the church money is spent,
Who takes out his usual ten percent?
    You guessed it ... Deacon Jones.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Deacon Jones
From: GUEST,Bob Coltman
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 09:06 AM

Help help! Has anyone gotten farther on finding the bawdy lyrics for this song?

Anyone got the complete Boozoo Chavis track and willing to transcribe?

Meanwhile, I found a clip of Louis Jordan (correct this time; above I inadvertently spelled him like the French actor) doing the opening of his "Deacon Jones." This makes it clear that his version is recomposed as a pop song -- so beyond this, I think we can eliminate his version as of any interest to this thread. Still, for completeness' sake, and because it's fun, here is his take on the good(?) Deacon:

DEACON JONES

As performed by Louis Jordan

(Spoken) Good evening, brothers and sisters, I'm very sorry to announce that Deacon Jones will not be present at the services today. Had a slight accident. But he wants everybody to be happy -- because when you're happy, that's what counts. Brothers and sisters and sisterettes, Deacon Jones sends his deepest regrets --

(Sung)

To the members of the flock who are new around here,
There is something 'bout the Deacon that I want to make clear:

Who's honored and respected? (Band members:) Deacon Jones!
Who's SO unaffected? (all) Deacon Jones,
When the sinner's moanin' low,
Who will share his tale of woe,
(All:) Lordy Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!

Who's so handsome and goodlookin'? Deacon Jones!
Who can smell a rooster cookin'? Deacon Jones!
Who gets all the chicken breast,
An' leaves the giblets for the rest?
(clip fades here)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Deacon Jones
From: GUEST,T. LATOURRETTE
Date: 23 May 11 - 10:44 PM

BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND SISTERETTES, DECON JONES SENDS HIS DEEPEST REGRETTS, TO THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO ARE NEW AROUND HERE.

NOW BEFORE ALL THE MONEY IS SPENT,
WHO IS IT THAT TAKES OUT HIS TEN PERCENT?
LORDIE LOVE HALLELUJAE, DECON JONES!

WHO IS IT THAT EATS THE CHICKEN BRESTS,
AND LEAVES THE GIBLETS FOR THE REST?
LORDIE LOVE HALLELUJAE, DECON JONES!


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Subject: Lyr Add: DEACON JONES (Louis Jordan)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 May 11 - 09:57 PM

Here's my transcription from the video at YouTube:


DEACON JONES
As sung by Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five

Brothers an' sisters an' sisterettes,
Deacon Jones sends his deepest regrets.
To the members of the flock who are new around here,
There's somethin' 'bout the deacon that I want to make clear:

Who's honored an' respected? (Deacon Jones!)
Uh-huh, an' who's so kind an' unaffected? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, an' when a sinner's moanin' low,
Who will listen to his tale of woe?
(Lordy, Lordy, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

Now, who's handsome an' good lookin'? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, an' who is it that can smell a rooster cookin'? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, an' who gets all the chicken breast,
An' leaves the giblets for the rest?
(Lordy, Lordy, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

CHORUS: Oh, Deacon Jones! (Deacon Jones!)
Oh, Deacon Jones! (Deacon Jones!)
Oh, Lordy, Lordy, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!
Oh, Deacon Jones! (Deacon Jones!)
Deacon Jones! (Deacon Jones!)
Oh, Lordy, Lordy, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!

Now, who is loved by all his neighbors? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, an' who is it that will help you with your labors? (Deacon Jones!)
Uh-huh, he'll help you beat the rug,
An' also help you find a cider jug.
(Lordy, Lordy, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

Now, who's in charge of the contributions? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, an' who attends to the distributions? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, an' before any of the dough is spent,
Who is it that takes out his ten percent?
(Lordy, Lordy, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

CHORUS

Now, who attends the fraternal meetin's? (Deacon Jones!)
That's right, an' who extends all the hearty greetin's? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, an' who's in charge of all the dues,
An' who's the only one with shoes?
(Lordy, Lordy, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

Now, who's the first to church on Sunday? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, an' who's the last at work on Monday? (Deacon Jones!)
That's right, an' all the balance of the week,
Who is it that goes fishin' down the creek?
(Lordy, Lordy, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

CHORUS


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Deacon Jones
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 May 11 - 03:48 AM

Oh, this is a fun one, Bob. Jim did a great job on the transcription, but I found an entirely different "Deacon Jones" recording on Spotify. It's a pretty good recording had trouble understanding part of it [especially the first verse about singin'], but I'll do what I can:

DEACON JONES
As sung by Louis Jordan (March 3, 1944)

[spoken] Fellas, I'm very sorry that Deacon Jones couldn't get here for this session, but he told me to tall all of youse guys to be happy; 'cause when you're happy, that's what counts.

Brothers an' sisters an' sisterettes,
Deacon Jones sends his deepest regrets.
To the members of the flock who are new around here,
There's somethin' 'bout the deacon that I want to make clear:

Now, who's good for sister's singin'? [???] (Deacon Jones!)
That's right, that's right, and who is it that will keep her phone a-ringin'? (Deacon Jones!)
And when she's left all alone at night,
Who is it that will make her see the light?
(Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

Now, who's loved by all the congregation? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, an' who does the sisters come to for consolation? (Deacon Jones!)
Yes, and when a sister's feelin' blue,
Who is it that consoles her in her pew?
(Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

CHORUS:
Hey, Deacon Jones! (Deacon Jones!)
Oh, Deacon Jones! (Deacon Jones!)
Oh, Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!
Oh, Deacon Jones! (Deacon Jones!)
Deacon Jones! (Deacon Jones!)
Oh, Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!

Now, who's the country's greatest lover? (Deacon Jones!)
That's right, brother, and who is it that will make all other cats take cover? (Deacon Jones!)
Uh-huh, and when your gal is leavin' you,
Now, tell me, who is she goin' to?
(Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

Now, who does the sisters pray for? [???] (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, an' who does all the husbands' labor? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, an' when a husband sets a trap,
Who is it that always beats the rap?
(Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

CHORUS


Album title: Complete Jazz Series, 1943-1945

Fun, but certainly a lot tamer than what Bob was looking for...

Jo Stafford sang this song with the Pied Pipers, but her version is very tame.


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Subject: ADD Version: Deacon Jones
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 May 11 - 04:11 AM

That same album has another recording from October 4, 1943, that is half from Jim's version and half from the 1944 version I transcribed.

DEACON JONES
As sung by Louis Jordan (October 4, 1943)

[spoken] Good evening, brothers and sisters, I'm very sorry to announce that Deacon Jones will not be present at the service today. He had a slight accident, but he wants everybody to be to be happy; because when you're happy, that's what counts.

Brothers an' sisters an' sisterettes,
Deacon Jones sends his deepest regrets.
To the members of the flock who are new around here,
There's somethin' 'bout the deacon that I want to make clear:

Who's honored an' respected? (Deacon Jones!)
Now, who's so unaffected? (Deacon Jones!)
When a sinner's moanin' low,
Who will share his tale of woe?
(Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

Now, who's handsome an' good lookin'? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, who can smell a rooster cookin'? (Deacon Jones!)
The good old deacon. Now, who gets all the chicken breast,
An' leaves the giblets for the rest?
(Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

CHORUS:
Deacon Jones! (Oh, Deacon Jones!)
Deacon Jones! (Oh, Deacon Jones!)
Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!

Now, who will keep a sister singin'? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, who will also keep her phone a-ringin'? (Deacon Jones!)
Yes, yes. And when she's left all alone at night,
Who is it that will help her see the light?
(Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

Now, who's loved by all the congregation? (Deacon Jones!)
Yes, yes, brother. And who give them consolation? (Deacon Jones!)
Mm-hmm, when a sister's feelin' blue,
Who is it that consoles her in her pew?
(Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

CHORUS:
Deacon Jones! (Oh, Deacon Jones!)
Deacon Jones! (Oh, Deacon Jones!)
Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!

Now, who's the country's greatest lover? (Deacon Jones!)
Yes, yes, who makes all the other cats take cover? (Deacon Jones!)
Uh-huh, and when your gal is leavin' you,
Now, just tell me, who is she goin' to?
(Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

Now, who takes up all the contributions? (Deacon Jones!)
Yes, yes, an' who attends to the distributions? (Deacon Jones!)
An' before any of the dough is spent,
Who is it that takes out his ten percent?
(Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!)

CHORUS:
Deacon Jones! (Oh, Deacon Jones!)
Deacon Jones! (Oh, Deacon Jones!)
Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!

Deacon Jones! (Oh, Deacon Jones!)
Deacon Jones! (Oh, Deacon Jones!)
Lordy, Lord, hallelujah,
Lordy, Lord, hallelujah,
Lordy, Lord, hallelujah, Deacon Jones!


Album title: Complete Jazz Series, 1943-1945


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Subject: ADD: Deacon Jones' Wife
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 May 11 - 04:54 AM

DEACON JONES' WIFE
(as recorded by Rockin' Ryan and the Real Goners)

Well, Deacon Jones' wife was a faith healer, but faith won't heal her now.
Her body's on fire and it ain't for no choir, and baby that's what the Lord don't allow
She was a mother and a daughter and a preacher's wife,
Now she's stayin' home late to be with me tonight.
Deacon Jones' wife was a faith healer, but faith won't heal her now.

On a Sunday mornin', baby, she ain't home; she's out, just a burnin' the wind.
Got a V-8 Caddy and a brand-new daddy, and her heart's on fire with sin.
Lay your hands on me sister, I'm a-feelin' weak;
Well, you know you ain't prayin' in MY back seat.
Deacon Jones' wife was a faith healer, but faith won't heal her now.

Well, the Lord forgave her what she done did; now she's turnin' all your dampers down.
When she rolls those eyes, she can hypnotize, make a dead man rise from the ground;
She got witchcraft love, baby, voodoo too;
The Lord got your heart but the devil got you.
Well, Deacon Jones' wife was a faith healer, but faith won't heal her now.

Well, late at night when the sun goes down, she's turnin' all your dampers down.
When she rolls those eyes, she can hypnotize, make a dead man rise from the ground;
Lay your hands on me sister 'cause I can't sleep;
The way you love me just-a knocks me off my feet,
Well, Deacon Jones' wife was a faith healer, but faith won't heal her now.


Album: Caged Heat

Sounds like 1950s rockabilly, but could be more recent.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Deacon Jones
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 May 11 - 05:00 AM

There are a couple more:
Old Deacon Jones (He Had a Heart of Gold), recorded by Andy Starr.

Fare Thee Well, Deacon Jones, recorded by Bull Moose Jackson.

I'll leave those for somebody else to transcribe. I'm going to bed.

-Joe-


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Subject: Lyr Add: OLD DEACON JONES (Andy Starr)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jun 11 - 05:38 PM

This is a rockabilly song with very spare instrumentation. It really reminds you how rock had its roots in country. This is my transcription from YouTube—see Joe's link.


OLD DEACON JONES
As recorded by Andy Starr, 1956.

1. I know an old fella lives down by the track.
He used to have more dough than you could put in a sack.
He had more friends; it was a sight to behold,
But they were after his money through his heart of gold.

CHORUS: Well, old Deacon Jones he had a heart of gold.
He had a heart of gold; he had a heart of gold.
Well, old Deacon Jones he had a heart of gold,
But his silver ran out too soon. – Yeah!

2. Now he sits in his cabin and he's all alone.
His friends like his money have all faded and gone.
They stayed in the boat while he was riding high,
But when he hit on the sand they left him high and dry. CHORUS

3. If you've a friend and no money, don't you worry or cry,
'Cause friendship is something that-a money can't buy.
You're not just a poor boy; you're as rich a king,
'Cause a friend when you need him is a wonderful thing. CHORUS


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Subject: Lyr Add: FARE THEE WELL, DEACON JONES (Jackson)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jun 11 - 06:13 PM

Funny, although this was recorded earlier than the last one, it sounds more modern to my ears. I guess the country-based rockabilly got off to a slower start than the blues-&-gospel-based R&B did. Well, that's my impression, for what it's worth.


FARE THEE WELL, DEACON JONES
As recorded by Bull Moose Jackson, 1948.

It was a stormy Monday morning and the church was very bare.
The roof was really leaking and the rain was ev'rywhere.
The whole congregation stayed at home,
So poor old Deacon Jones was there alone.
He was laid out in a coffin, a coffin dressed in red,
Where just the night before they'd pronounced the deacon dead.

There was a little old lady sittin' in the church,
Sittin' in the church a-moanin' low.
That same little old lady who was sittin' in the church
Jumped up, shook her head, shook her hips and then she said:

"Fare thee well! Deacon Jones has passed away. (Fare thee well!)
Fare thee well! Deacon Jones has passed away. (Fare thee well!)
He was my old man for years,
And he sure could shift his gears.
Fare thee well, Deacon Jones, fare thee well!" (Fare thee well!)

The storm it kept on raging. The rain it poured down fast.
It even flooded the coffin where we saw the deacon last.
The coffin began to rock. The sister ran to hide.
I jumped behind a bench and this is what I spied:

Old Jones began to rise.
Jones had bloodshot eyes.
He drank a cup of rain,
And shouted this refrain:

"Oh, you goin' to hell, all you sinners, you goin' to hell. (Goin' to hell!)
Fare thee well, all you sinners, fare thee well! (Fare thee well!)
Oh, you know I didn't say I died.
I was just layin' here occupied.
You goin' to hell, all you sinners, 'cause you died.

"'Cause I'm the greatest deacon, the best you've ever seen.
Y'all hate ol' Deacon Jones, ....(?)
I'm the greatest jockey and I love to ride the best.
I don't want no hockey. Now, how 'bout that mess?

"Fare thee well, all you sinners, fare thee well!
Fare thee well!"


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Subject: Lyr Add: DEACON JONES (Boozoo Chavis)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jun 11 - 07:01 PM

From YouTube.

This one was much tougher, owing to Chavis' accent and diction, thus all the gaps. Several reviews refer to this song as "ribald," "X-rated," or "triple-X-rated," but I am unable to understand enough of it to see wherein the ribaldry lies. Or maybe this is a cleaned-up version.


DEACON JONES
As recorded by Boozoo Chavis

Deacon Jones he was a doggone fool
Caught his ... on a ... tool(?).

Jump out the window with his lunch(?) in his hand
Kill(?) me ... I'm a hungry man.

Run up a hundred women 'gainst the wall.
Bet a hundred dollar I could kiss(?) them all.

Kissed ninety-eight then I ...
I ... the other two.

He died and he went to hell,
Caught the devil and his wife as well.

Up jumped a little devil against the wall/
... son of a gun 'fore he ... us all.

Look at me and he look at you.
You better watch out; he gonna get you too.

... my name is Boozoo.
And I ain't here to mess with you.


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Subject: Lyr Add: DEACON JONES'S GRIEVANCE (P L Dunbar)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jun 11 - 07:27 PM

This is a poem, not a song, but it should appeal to those who like recitations (and music).

From Majors and Minors: Poems by Paul Laurence Dunbar (Toledo, OH: Hadley & Hadley, printers, 1895), page 131:


DEACON JONES'S GRIEVANCE.
Paul Laurence Dunbar.

I'VE been watchin' of 'em, parson, an' I'm sorry fur to say
'At my mind is not contented with the loose an' keerless way
'At the young folks treat the music, 'tain't the proper sort o' choir,—
Then I don't believe in Christuns a-singin' hymns fur hire.

But I never would 'a' murmured, an' the matter might 'a' gone
Ef it wasn't fur the antics 'at I've seen 'em kerry on;
So I thought it was my dooty fur to come to you an' ask
Ef you wouldn't sort o' gently take them singin'-folks to task.

Fust, the music they've be'n singin' will disgrace us very soon;
It's a cross between a opry an' a ol' cotillon tune.
With its dashes an' its quavers an' its hifalutin style—
Why, it sets my head to swimmin' when I'm comin' down the aisle.

Now, it might be almost decent ef it wasn't fur the way
'At they git up there an' sing it, hey dum diddle loud and gay.
Why, it shames the name o' sacred in its brazen worldliness,
An' they've even got "Ol' Hundred" in a bold, new-fangled dress.

You'll excuse me, Mr. Parson, ef I seem a little sore;
But I've sung the songs of Isr'el fur threescore years an' more,
An' it sort o' hurts my feelin's fur to see 'em put away
Fur these harum-scarum ditties 'at is capturin' the day.

There's anuther little happ'nin' 'at I'll mention while I'm here,
Jus' to show 'at my objections all is offered sound an' clear.
It was one day they was singin' an' was doin' well enough—
Singin' good as people could sing sich a awful mess o' stuff—

When the choir give a holler, an' the organ give a groan,
An' they left one weak-voiced feller a-singin' there alone!
But he stuck right to the music, tho' 'twas tryin' as could be;
An' when I tried to help him, why, the hull church scowled at me.

You say that's solo singin',—well I praise the Lord that I
Growed up when folks was willin' to sing their hymns so high.
Oh, we never had such doin's in the good, ol' Bethel days,
When the folks was all contented with the simple songs o' praise.

Now, I may have spoke too open, but 'twas too hard to keep still,
An' I hope you'll tell the singers 'at I bear 'em no ill will.
'At they all may git to glory is my wish an' my desire,
But they'll need some extry trainin' 'fore they join the heavenly choir!


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Subject: Lyr Add: DEACON JONES (Boozoo Chavis)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 02:50 PM

Warning! X-RATED VERSION!


DEACON JONES
As recorded by Boozoo Chavis on "Who Stole My Monkey?" (1999)

Deacon Jones he was a fuckin' fool.
Fucked his teacher on the first day of school.

Jumped out the window with his dick in his hand.
"'Scuse me, teacher. I'm a hungry man."

Fucked everything upon this land.

Run up a hundred women 'gainst the wall.
Bet a hundred dollar he could fuck 'em all.

Fucked ninety-eight, then his dick turned blue.
Jacked off ...(?) the other two.

Died and he went to hell,
Fucked the devil and his wife as well.

Up jumped a little devil against the wall.
"...(?) that motherfucker 'fore he fuck us all."

Look at me and he look at you.
You better watch out; he gonna fuck you too.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req/Add: Deacon Jones Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Dec 12 - 06:02 PM

Here's an older version of Deacon Jones by Bozoo Chavis:


Deacon Jones

Deacon Jones he was a fuckin fool
fucked his teacher on the first day of school

Deacon Jones Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones Deacon Jones

jumped outta the window with his dick in his hand
excuse me teacher I'm a hoe hard man

Deacon Jones Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones Deacon Jones

fucked everything upon this land

Deacon Jones Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones Deacon Jones

lined up a hundred women against the wall
bet a hundred dollars he could fuck them all

Deacon Jones Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones Deacon Jones

fucked ninety-eight then his dick turned blue
jacked off for a while and fucked the other two

Deacon Jones Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones Deacon Jones

died and he went to hell
fucked the devil and his wife as well

Deacon Jones Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones Deacon Jones

up jumped a little devil against the wall
let's get out before he fucks us all

Deacon Jones Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones Deacon Jones

looked at me and he looked at you
better watch he's gonna fuck you, too

Deacon Jones Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones Deacon Jones

excuse me teacher, my name is Jerry
lie in this chair I'm gonna get your cherry

Deacon Jones Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones Deacon Jones

excuse me teacher, my name is Joe
lie in this chair I'm gonna get in your throat

Deacon Jones Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones Deacon Jones

excuse me lady, my name is John
lie in this chair I'm gonna make you moan

Deacon Jones Deacon Jones
Deacon Jones Deacon Jones


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req/Add: Deacon Jones Songs
From: GUEST,Johnny Mudphlaps
Date: 15 Feb 14 - 06:00 PM

Yes, Yes! Marvelous! All well remember'd and all well contributed. Bravos all around. And such a wonderful, liberal use of profanities, too. Is not the internet a dandy place to strip off one's clothes and forget what several thousand years of culture and civilization taught us! My, my! I think we're all due for another cleansing Noachical deluge.


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Subject: Lyr Add: FARE THEE WELL DEACON JONES (Millinder)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 16 Feb 14 - 12:49 AM

FARE THEE WELL DEACON JONES
As recorded by Lucky Millinder and His Orchestra

Gather round me, children, while I tell the news.
Hates to tell you 'bout it 'cause I gets the blues.
No one saw the thing that happened but my wife,
But you can bet she saw the deacon when he lost his life.

Fare thee well; Deacon Jones has passed away. (Fare thee well.)
Fare thee well; Deacon Jones has passed away. (Fare thee well.)
Elder Brown, go ring the bell.
Deacon Jones fell in the well.
Fare thee well; Deacon Jones has passed away. (Fare thee well.)

Go and tell Deacon Jones fell in the well (in the well).
Go and tell Deacon Jones fell in the well (in the well).
He was down there drinkin' juice
When the bucket it broke loose.
Fare thee well, Deacon Jones; fare thee well.

You will find Deacon Jones down in the well, in the well.
You will find Deacon Jones down in the well, in the well.
He fell in last night at nine
And his dice jumped in behind.
Fare thee well, Deacon Jones; fare thee well; fare thee well.

Listen, brother Sammy, did you bring your horn?
'Course you got to serenade us while we mourn.
Ev'rybody, bow your heads and start to pray.
Brother Sammy's gonna blow it till the judgment day.

We took the congregation, led 'em to the well,
Led 'em to to the spot where the deacon fell.
The deacon stuck his head from a tree up high,
Said, "I would 'a' been dead but the well was dry."


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Subject: Lyr Add: WHO THREW THE WHISKEY IN THE WELL
From: GUEST,Zweitaktmotor
Date: 06 Dec 16 - 12:40 PM

Hi, I came across this thread while trying to find out more about Deacon Jones and Elder Brown who turned up in the following two songs:


WHO THREW THE WHISKEY IN THE WELL
As recorded by Lucky Millinder & His Orchestra, Decca 18674A, 1945.

It was an early Sunday mornin' and the church was crowded full.
Old Elder Brown was ravin'; he was angry as a bull.
The congregation sensed it and they knew just what he meant
When he said: "my text today is: You sinners must repent."

Who threw the whiskey in the well? (in the well)
Who threw the whiskey in the well? (in the well)
'Cause Deacon Jones knelt down to pray.
All he said was: "Hey Hey."
So who threw the whiskey in the well? (in the well)

(Now who threw the whisky in the well) In the well
(Who threw the whisky in the well) In the well
I'm feelin' mighty fine.
I'm high as Georgia pine.
So who threw the whiskey in the well, in the well?

Who threw the whiskey in the well? (in the well)
Who threw the whiskey in the well? (in the well)
Keep your dippers out of that well,
Or we all wind up in (WELL)
Who threw the whiskey in the well? That's what I'd like to know!

Well sisters and brothers, I'm taking my leave thee
Every time I show you the light, and you all live outside of me
Since brother Jones brought his bones, and Sister Ash has all the cash
Let's get together, drink water, get tall.
Come on, children; let's have a ball.

********* answer song ***************

I KNOW WHO THREW THE WHISKEY (IN THE WELL)
(Jackson)

Bull Moose Jackson - 1946
The Four Bluejackets - 1946

It was a lovely Sunday mornin' and everyone was gay.
Everyone but Deacon Jones, who did not feel that way.
He was loaded down with pills.
He was plastered to the gills.
You could tell it, you could smell it
Every time you heard him yell.

I found out who threw the whiskey in the well. (In the well)
Yes, I know who threw the whiskey in the well. (In the well)
Yes, I'm squealin' on my friend
'Cause he went south with my end (sic).
Yes, I know who threw the whiskey in the well.

(Deacon Jones, who threw the whiskey in the well?) Just wait and see
(Deacon Jones, who threw the whiskey in the well?) It wasn't me
I will tell you in a minute,
Soon as I find out what's in it
Yes, I know who threw the whiskey in the well

(Instrumental Break)

I'm gonna tell who threw the whiskey in the well (In the well)
I'm gonna tell who threw the whiskey in the well (In the well)
When you kneel down on your knees
I will set your mind at ease
'Cause I know who threw the whiskey in the well

Through the window came a Bible and it landed on my head
The folks knelt down to pray; they thought Deacon Jones was dead
Elder Brown went way down, then he raised the Deacon's head
The Deacon's eyes flew open and this is what he said:

It wasn't Sister Ash. (No!) It wasn't Elder Brown. (No!)
It wasn't Sister Kitty, 'cause that gal was in the city.
It wasn't Brother Smith. (No!) It wasn't cousin Sammy.
(Who was it, Deacon Jones?) It was Caldonia's mammy.
(It was Caldonia's mammy; it was Caldonia's mammy)
She threw the whiskey in the well!


Interesting to note that Bull Moose Jackson picked it up again in 1948 (see posts above):

It was a stormy Monday morning and the church was very bare...


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