ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies

Subject: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: GUEST,mick p royal marine shanty crew
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 10:16 AM

one of our members (he sings The Barly Malt) was given a hurdy gurdy for his birthday from his wife. He has been practising on it ever since, three years now. I heard him play? it recently. After leaving the trauma dept of our local hospital after days of intensive treatment and therepy I just want revenge on that instrument of torture and its player.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 10:34 AM

Hurdy Gurdy when played correctly..lovely instrument...what are you going to do to your friend?

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Scoville
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:04 AM

Are there instructional videos for hurdy-gurdy?

Seriously, I love hurdy-gurdy when it's played well. I don't advocate wholesale elimination of hurdy-gurdies (banjos, autoharps, bowed psalteries . . . well, maybe bowed psalteries), but he ought to be listen-to-able after three years.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:36 AM

A planet that permits Rod Stewart to live should have no trouble with a challenged hurdy-gurdy player.

Mick, have you ever heard how a hurdy-gurdy is supposed to sound? If so, is your friend playing it right? In other words, is it you or him that has the problem? This would be step 1 in figuring this out.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: artbrooks
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:46 AM

Cut to the chase...let's have no thread drift here.

Just to get the ball rolling, I would suggest a light application of hatchet, and then put it to a higher purpose as kindling.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: bubblyrat
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:47 AM

More to the point,why is it called a Hurdy-Gurdy ?? And what is it called elsewhere, ie France,Spain,Germany ?? A less colourful, but more correct appellation that I have heard, is "Buzzy Thing ". I do actually rather like it, in short bursts, but it does seem rather limited in its scope----I mean ,Donovan sang about one,but I don't think that you could play that tune on one.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Midchuck
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:48 AM

Recalls to mind a friend who used to work on his own computers, and also liked precision rifle shooting. It was his custom, if a hard drive died and had to be replaced, to put the old drive up at the range to shoot at. If satisfied two purposes - worked out his frustration, and made sure that no one would find the old drive in the garbage and somehow retrieve confidential data from it.

Peter.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Alec
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 11:55 AM

Vielle a roue in French, sometimes Wheel Fiddle in English & originally the Organistrum.It has a long history so let it live.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: ThreeSheds
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 12:04 PM

Put it on top of a pyre of borons

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 12:05 PM

Hello,

Step one. Record friend playing said Hurdy Gurdy.

Step two. Take said friend to hear some expert exponent expounding.

Step three. While the memory is still clear in friend's mind ~ play them the recording made in Step one.

Step four. Friend will either howl with frustration and get rid of the H-G in despair OR desire to get better...

Or maybe not!!

Best wishes,

Peter

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: bubblyrat
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 12:13 PM

Thankyou Alec. I must say,'Organistrum'makes it sound much more like a musical instrument than a Tudor dessert.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Alec
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 12:15 PM

Or maybe something from Barbarella.;-)

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 12:31 PM

I have a friend who is an excellent HG player.

When he is playing it is bearable for the first 30 or 40 seconds.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Don Firth
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 12:32 PM

"That thing wouldn't keep howling like that if you'd stop twisting it's tail!"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 12:40 PM

With you on that Leenia

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 12:42 PM

This one is living on borrowed time!

It is, as you see, homemade......the list of jokes made about it in the last 20-30 years would fill a book.

(The cartoon taped to says "How long does it take to learn to play this thing?")

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: bubblyrat
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 12:44 PM

Alec !! Yes ! It was obviously originally an instrument of ritual self-abuse designed by the Medieval Teutonic libertine, Orgasmus.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: synbyn
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 12:53 PM

An ark for woodworm... cast it on the ocean for 40 days

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: GUEST,tony geen
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 01:46 PM

I love the hurdy-gurdy, but I can understand why people might not.

Thread originator should go to La Chaise Dieue in the Auvergne (France). In the church is an enormous mural, definitely showing somebody trampling a hurdy-gurdy underfoot.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Bernard
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 01:58 PM

A band called The Time Bandits from Chester, UK, include an Hurdy Gurdy in their line up - but only for a couple of sets. When played along with the English Pipes (similar to Flemish Pipes), cello and melodeon the sound is magic...

Mind you, it's not nicknamed the 'bottle o'wasps' for nowt!

Was that Dick Greenhaus in the picture with the player of the home-made HG, Bill?

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: GUEST,Seaking (at work and bored)
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 02:30 PM

Take two onions, one garlic clove, one hurdy gurdy...

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: harpmolly
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 02:40 PM

Get him Doreen Muskett's "Hurdy-Gurdy Method Book". If that fails, try this!

M

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: ranger1
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 02:41 PM

My one experience with a hurdy-gurdy was that exact one in Bill D's blue clicky. A sledgehammer and a box of matches come to mind...

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Songster Bob
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 04:51 PM

Step One:

Douse the tuner end with lighter fluid or some other suitable flammable material.

Step Two:

Insert (forcefully) the other end in your player's "other end."

Step Three:

Light the flammable fluid.

(This method ensures that the victim will burn his hands pulling the bloody thing out!)


Bob

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 04:58 PM

(yes..that was, indeed, Dick Greenhaus....trying to lean the other way, so as to limit his exposure while not losing his seat on the bench..)

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 05:51 PM

As most of you know I don't like much - but I am rather partial to a well played hurdy-gurdy.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Dave Hunt
Date: 09 Feb 07 - 09:03 PM

Great story of a soundman at a gig where the band included hurdy-gurdy
"Ive been trying for ages but can't get rid of some sort of wasp-like buzz coming out of that funny instrument") ....collapse of band in hysterics..
Dave

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:47 AM

1) Send it to me. I would like a real one.

2) I have a small version called a Symphonia. My father being an expert violinist, I set it up so that it DOESN'T squawk! Amazing how many people think it is a beautiful instrument when it is set up that way...

3) If i told you how I set it up, i'd have to kill you...

4) I'm not making this up you know....

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 09:53 AM

Perhaps a Viking style funeral would be appropriate. Douse Hurdy Gurdy with flamable fluid, place in water body, ignite with a looooong match, and give it a shove out from the shore.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Micca
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 10:54 AM

If anyone can remember the 200th anniversary of the French revolution celebrations (in 1989?), The had SEVERAL HUNDERED of them marching, playing, down the Champs Elysee in Paris!!!!

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Janie
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 11:24 AM

Buy your friend a one way ticket to Seattle!

Alternately, you could move to Los Angeles, where there is protection from Hurdy-Gurdy's included in the city code.

"SEC. 41.29. HAND ORGANS ON STREETS.
No person shall operate or play any hand organ or hurdy-gurdy in, upon or along any street or sidewalk."

Janie

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Bernard
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 11:28 AM

Ummm... HAND ORGANS??

Oooh, Matron!

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:01 PM

Surely it should be possible to rig up a match so that it strikes on the wheel when the handle is turning at speed. This combined with a short fuse and a couple of pounds of black powder funnelled into the body of the instrument ought to do the job.
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Effsee
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:15 PM

That's amazing Janie...they all look quite normal people! ;-)

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Janie
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:44 PM

Scary, isn't it?

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:59 PM

Let's see. Catters feel free to express their hate for (so far) accordion, bodhran, banjo, spoons, shakey eggs, and now hurdy-gurdy. Then they wonder why trad music isn't growing...

Granted, hurdy-gurdy is an unusual, rather buzzy instrument. It's an ancient instrument and ought to be played with the right kind of music. However, ten to one the problem is with the sound system rather than the instrument.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Effsee
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 01:12 PM

Scary indeed Janie. Can you imagine what it would sound like all played together? How's things in the Holler btw?

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Joe Offer
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 03:34 PM

There was a performance by TWO hurdy-gurdys at San Francisco's Camp Harmony this year, playing a medieval French song - and it was marvelous.
Unfortunately, that hasn't been my usual experience with the hurdy-gurdy. I'm glad to know that it can be good, though.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Janie
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 03:43 PM

Writer's Block, Effsee--I think because right now, life is proving stranger than fiction...

Hmmmmm...wonder if working a hurdy-gurdy into the story would....

Never mind!

Janie

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 04:09 PM

Sound system? The mere thought of a hurdy gurdy connected to a sound system is enough to make a strong man blanch!

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 04:25 PM

It was a dark and stormy night. The Hurdy Gurdy shivered and threw another log on the fire. It was worried. So many death threats...so little time....suddenly there came a noise outside the door. It sounded like some-one had knocked over some milk bottles on the step. The Hurdy Gurdy crossed to the fire place and took down the shotgun hanging above it. The sound of 12 bore shells being loaded filled the tiny room.

Outside the assassin sniggered... "hah, only that home security CD playing!".   Slowly the door opened and.......

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Gurney
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 01:58 AM

Luthiers who build Hurdy-Gurdys (as spelled in Wordweb) go to considerable trouble to MAKE them buzz, in several fashions. Otherwise they sound like Cellos with the wrong rosin on the bow. And within the buzz, a player can set up a rhythmic element with fine handle control.
A friend of mine built one. A piece of woodworking artistry, even undecorated.
I seem to remember reading that Samuel Pepys complained, after a musical evening, that "The Hurdy-Gurdy could not be fixed in tune."

A mild buzz never hurt anyone, unless they were driving home. Twangs, though, can drive you mad. Plucks come from inside a pig, and are made into sausages. And faggots. Bows are what little girls wear, and there are too many fiddles in the world.

I think I'll stop now.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 02:35 AM

"Otherwise they sound like Cellos with the wrong rosin on the bow"

... or a cello with the bow played in the wrong (not classically standard!) position...

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: GUEST,English Jon
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 06:55 AM

I think I know who you're talking about! - He's actually doing quite well with it. They take a lot of time and dedication, and he's breaking the back of it. Get the cotton and rosin right and then you're in a position to adjust all the tangents to the correct position. theres only 46 of them so it shouldn't take more than a couple of days, although it could take a lot longer if the nuts aren't in the right place (as with so much in life, really).

Donovan had probably never seen a hurdy gurdy, but you CAN play that song on one. a quick search on the web for DROHNE will probably throw up a chap in margate called Phil who is once of the greatest musicians I've ever met. He does HG man segueing into La Moresque...very strange stuff but utterly brilliant.

Destroying a hurdy gurdy is quite difficult as they're built to last. A bowl back is a very strong shape, even on something as lightly built as my antique Pajot Jeune. The best way to stop them playing would probably be to steal the handle. Grip the sides (not the edge) of the wheel and crank the handle the other way. Of course, if you're not sure which way IS the other way, you're not really in a position to criticise.

The usual thing people do to stop you playing is touch the wheel - fingertip out and pointing "is that what makes the sound?". This leaves a deposit of grease on the bowing surface and ruins the nice even coat of rosin that the player has spent weeks acheiving. This results in gaps in the sound (as the wheel slips each time it reaches that spot) and a broken nose.

If you want to hear good hurdy gurdy playing, listen to Patrick Bouffard. I shouldn't bother with Nigel Eaton to be honest. Very showy with excellent technique, but he's a robot. Bouffard has passion, energy and style.

If you want to burn a HG, soak it in parafin overnight first.

Be prepared for the bill when (if) you get out of hospital, though.

Cheers,
Loomes

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 07:19 AM

I'm sure it would be far more spectacular to burn an MG though....

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: GUEST,bus passed
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 08:54 AM

Anybody ever seen a left handed HG? How do you tell?

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: LukeKellylives (Chris)
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 09:43 AM

http://www.youtube.com/p.swf?video_id=YPFeSnIJfT0&eurl=http%3A//video.yahoo.com/video/play%3F_%3D%26p%3DHurdy%2BGurdy%26toggle%3D1%26ei%3DUTF-8%26qp_p%3Dhurdy%2Bgurdy%26b%3D11%26oid%3&iurl=http%3A//sjl-static11.sjl.youtube.com/vi/YPFeSnIJfT0/2.jpg&t=OEgsToPDskKzIoKaS-Tr_zcyTSrWzY7X

Not a bad hurdy gurdy player...Now, the first time I heard one....

*shudders*


It sounded like this:

http://www.youtube.com/p.swf?video_id=oZKQf-JIvRU&eurl=http%3A//video.yahoo.com/video/play%3F_%3D%26p%3DHurdy%2BGurdy%26toggle%3D1%26ei%3DUTF-8%26b%3D8%26oid%3D68437c8ab6d93d5d%26rurl&iurl=http%3A//sjl-static4.sjl.youtube.com/vi/oZKQf-JIvRU/2.jpg&t=OEgsToPDskKyRBhfNAg9S9NiuTVJj7W5


I suggest throwing it off the Empire State Building, lighting the remains on fire, freezing the ashes, burning them again, and then set them out to sea to be eaten by sea creatures.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: GUEST,mick p royal marine shanty crew
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 03:15 PM

English Jon, thanks for your input on this subject and all the tech? stuff to do with HGs but theres no getting away from the fact that they,when played well! sound like a bagpipe drone being dealt with by the same people that sorted saddam out last month. In answer to guest,bus passed, you cant tell a left handed HG from a right handed HG. they both sound the same and the MUSICIANS? playing them both drink gallons of scrumpy before thier performance as can be seen through thier empty glazed eyes just before they turn that handle. All joking apart Trad Music is great keep it going and long may it live.

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: Lynda Finn
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 03:21 PM

Easy answer - send it to me and I'll dispose of it. I'm always in the market for free instruments :-)

Subject: RE: ideas on good deaths for hurdy gurdies
From: GUEST,mick p royal marine shanty crew
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 03:37 PM

thanks for the offer LYNDA FINN,but the instrument I am talking about is an instrument of torture not music its a HURDY GURDY.