BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?

Subject: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 09:44 PM

Looking at what's been happening with the weather since Feb 2, Groundhog Day, I am growing concerned for the mental health of Punxatawney Phil, Wiarton Willie, and the other esteemed groundhogs whom we all depend upon each year to tell us when Spring is due to arrive.

I think Phil may have developed a drinking problem. I think the same of Willie. And the others. They ALL prognosticated an early Spring. It was unanimous.

Ever since they did, the weather has gotten colder, snowier, and more vicious.

I can understand that a solitary job of immense national responsibility can rest very heavy on the small furry shoulders of a groundhog. The stress could get hard to handle. Add to that the fact that fame has made it easy for Phil and his peers in the prognosticating trade to get all the booze, pills, sex, drugs, and other debilitating distractions that lie in wait to trip up those who succeed in grabbing the brass ring.

In short, I think Phil was seriously drunk on the morning of Feb 2nd, didn't know his shadow from a hole in the ground, was not lucid, and was in no condition to make ANY prediction at that time.

We have a crisis on our hands that may shake the foundations of groundhog weather prognosticating to their very core.

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: number 6
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 09:55 PM

Way to go LH ... blame it on a groundhog getting into booze, drugs or whatever.

If I were you I wouldn't listen to any sordid rumours coming from a monkey.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:00 PM

Chongo's sex life may be a bit sordid, but he is not the source of this particular rumor, Bill. And don't call him a "monkey". ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: number 6
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:09 PM

"he is not the source of this particular rumor"

You expect me to believe that? I betcha that post was actually typed by the Chongo himself .... look at the spelling of 'rumor'

Your a Canuck LH, the Chongo is a Yank.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:15 PM

I think the thread title is in extremely poor taste. Punxsutawney Phil is revered in our state. At most he would be a tad tipsy, but "in the sauce"-- I thought this was a cooking thread at first.

;~)

And please, spell his name right!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:25 PM

Yeah, right. As if anyone who wasn't from Pennsylvania could spell "Punxsutawney" and get it right! LOL! Ook! Ook! I been to Pennsylvania and I wasn't too impressed. Philly is okay, I guess, but I like Chicago way better. As for the rest of the state, it's just an endless wasteland of forest, but with no mango trees. A good place for hidin' stiffs out in the woods or makin' moonshine, I guess, but not for nothin' else.

The groundhog is a friggin' rodent! What can you expect? They're brainless. I bet he couldn't predict the weather this afternoon, let alone when Spring is coming!

The reason the Hawk spells like a Yank sometimes is because he admires us Yanks and wishes he was one too. He don't like to admit it, but it's the truth.

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:32 PM

A Chicago groundhog would simply have been corrupt-- emerging early, and often. (We're from there too-- clergy get a sorta dual citizenship thing. Makes sports hell though-- first of all, you have to watch twice as much, and then nights like tonight: our Pens just beat our Blackhawks in hockey.)

But I think the thread title ought to be changed.

'~ |

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:36 PM

I was mistaken. It's the chimp who's been in the sauce. Drunk, disorderly, and belligerent to boot.

How do you think the title should read, Susan?

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:38 PM

"Obit: Spring 2007?"

The current title is in poor taste.

'~ |

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:42 PM

Hmm. Yeah, that is a good thread title, no doubt about it. I knew Phil was revered, but I didn't quite realize that I was treading on sacred ground.

The reason I spell it "rumour" one time and "rumor" the next, Number 6, is that I have decided to give respect to both the American and the English forms of spelling...as a gesture of tolerance.

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:43 PM

At least show the 'hog some respect until he can be decently buried.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 10:59 PM

We don't have groundhogs down here in Floribama. We've got armadillos. What we do on February 2nd is turn an armadillo loose on the side of a four-lane highway and see if he can make it to the other side without gettin' run over. If he makes it across, then it means an early Spring. If he gets run over, it means get a new chain for the Husqvarna 'cause you're gonna run out of firewood. It also means armadillo stew for somebody.

Now, what all this has to do with the subject at hand is that it's impossible to tell whether or not an armadillo has been drinking. They're dumber than creek mud and blind as fenceposts when cold sober, so what possible effect could being drunk have on 'em? It's certainly not gonna make it less likely that they'll be able to cross a road without being run over. They can't do that sober.

Anyway, the results of 2007's Armadillo Day prediction were inconclusive since Bubba and Jim Bob, who are responsible for turning the armadillo loose, picked a four-lane divided highway with a grass median for this year's test. The armadillo made it across two lanes, stopped at the grass median strip, dug a burrow, and hasn't been seen since. Turned out that 'diller was smarter than Bubba and Jim Bob, but that ain't sayin' much.

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: GUEST,Billy the Bunnie
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 02:26 PM

Whaddya mean, "in the sauce"? Any one o' you two-legs comin' my way with anythin' like a saucepan and onions is lookin' to git a fine set o' ever-growin' teef meetin' somewheres between their navel and their knees. An' dontcha even mention "varmint". Hell nor ye may feeze over. Rodents unite!

Subject: RE: BS: Has the groundhog been in the sauce?
From: jeffp
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 04:27 PM

Nice thing about an armadillo is that it comes packaged in its own stewpot.