BS: Feminist (not!) jokes

Subject: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Lox
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 09:32 AM

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'

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Why are women rubbish at parking their cars?
















cos men keep telling them that this:

>-------------------<

is six inches ....




Any more examples?

Subject: RE: BS: Sexist jokes (female)
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 10:01 AM

Doesn't mean to say they can't be funny - but the Feminist label doesn't realy suit them.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 10:15 AM

Why does it take a woman with PMS 4 hours to cook a chicken ?















COS IT DOES

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 10:46 AM

Thread should be titled "Sexist" jokes, nothing feminist about them.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: skipy
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 11:01 AM

Lox, you have probably just started a war!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: The PA
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 11:23 AM

Really old one -

Why do men call women 'birds'?

Because they pick up worms.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: jimlad9
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 11:36 AM

An educated Afghan lady campaigned for more freedom for Afghani women after the Taliban were defeated.
Two years later she revisited Kabul again and found little had changed. However she did notice that the women now walked 10 paces behind their menfolk as opposed to 5 paces behind on her previous visits.
On asking for an explanation for the increased distance she was answered in two words.

Land Mines

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 11:42 AM

jimlad...that joke is OLD *grin*...I heard it about Korea, and I have no doubt that it was invented back in WWI....and besides, it should be that they walk AHEAD.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 11:46 AM

and now it is sometimes getting reported as true

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 11:53 AM

mummy mummy - what's an orgasm?















dunno - ask yer dad.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: jimlad9
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 12:03 PM

I can't vouch for the pedigree of this one but it was on the BBC and apart from the Pope it doesn't get much better than that.


Anthropologist in Papua New Guinea were investigating reports that Cannibalism was being practiced again. Seemingly the consumption of 'Long Pig' ie human flesh has the downside that a fatal illness is passed on to the eater. It was found that the ratio of dead males to dead females was overwhelmingly in favour of the men because with anything new or suspicious the ladies were asked to try it first.

On the same principle I always let my wife go first on Escalators,in Revolving Doors or in Lifts.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: jimlad9
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 12:08 PM

Mummy Mummy I don't want to go to France.


Shut up George and keep on swimming

_________________________________________________________
Mummy Mummy can I have a bra,all the girls in my class have got them.


No George

_____________________________________________________________
Mummy Mummy I don't want to go to school today.


You have to George you are the Headmaster

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 12:09 PM

Lox, you really need to get a Girlfriend. Then you need to start running...

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 12:33 PM

Why did the woman cross the road?...............















Irrelevant! What was she doing out of the kitchen?

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 12:34 PM

How can you tell if a woman is clever.......

















She always starts her sentence with "A man told me that"

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 12:34 PM

By the way...these are jokes folks..I am not the least bit sexist.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Midchuck
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 12:38 PM

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
.
.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Alec
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 12:52 PM

Back in my College days my Sociology Lecturer (who was a woman) maintained that Men reached their full social development by the age of 12.
This conclusion was based on the observation that 12 year old boys social lives tended to centre on 3 activities.
1)Watching sport.
2)Looking at pictures of naked women.
3)Hanging out with their male friends.
She concluded that men's social lives, beyond the age of 12,continued to centre on these 3 activities permanently,therefore men reach their full social development by the age of 12.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: GUEST,Kitty Lettermore
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 02:37 PM

The Lightbulb joke is:

"How many Feminists does it take to change a Lightbulb?"



"ONE! And it's not funny."

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Cathie
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 02:58 PM

Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize
one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.




Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your
email?
A: Rename the folder to "Instructions Manuals."




Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so
beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so
dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 02:58 PM

Alec, I think I had the same woman Sociology Lecturer....or maybe they are just all clones....

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 05:42 PM

I know some sexist ones too (in the interests of a balanced perspective etc of course)

Perhaps I should hold back though .....

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 05:43 PM

.... Oh sod it


Why do women fake orgasms?


Cos they think men care.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 06:27 PM

ouch

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Joe_F
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 08:34 PM

Men have two heads, but only enough blood to work one at a time.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Dave Wynn
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 09:47 PM

Grow your own dope...........Plant a man.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 03:04 AM

According to women Joe that should be two brains.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 05:12 AM

Women have many faults, men only have two,














everything they say and everything they do.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Bee
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 10:04 AM

There were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. Even when he was dead,He had to get up because there was more work for him to do.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: autolycus
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 12:35 PM

Why do men have transparent luchboxes?






















    So they'll know whether they're going to work or coming home from work.






      Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Mr Red
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 04:10 PM

How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?



Depends how thin you slice them.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Dave Wynn
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 07:31 PM

I know a doggist joke.






Please remember a puppy isn't just for christmas.........















You can save a slice for the new year.....


Sorry Mum

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: bobad
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 07:35 PM

Bad dog spot.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Peace
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 07:39 PM

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 03:49 AM

Why are you called "peace"?    ;')

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 05:00 AM

GUEST lox....now he will go quiet!!!! You'll get no answer!

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: guitar
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 05:07 AM

i think this is sexist against men.

but after all they are just jokes.

Sorry if i have offended you for writtig that.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: guitar
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 05:13 AM

I as a man can take jokes,

here's a really sexist joke, I don't beleive that this shoud happen, but here goes

I don't think that women should be chained to the sink, i mean how else is she going to cook the dinner.

I heard that one on the radio, I agree that is sexist.

I'm hopefully not sexist.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: guitar
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 05:19 AM

i don't want start a war

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 01:16 PM

Is Quiet his girlfriend?

I prefer her to War though.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Midchuck
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 01:29 PM

Why do men have bigger feet than women?

So women can get closer to the sink.

P.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Peace
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 01:42 PM

"Why are you called "peace"?    ;')"

I thought that Mayhem was taken.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 01:46 PM

I prefer Peace. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 04:34 PM

Mayhem?

That was just me clearing my throat!

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes
From: Peace
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 05:00 PM

Mayhem my pants later.

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes
From: GUEST,Nick
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 07:23 PM

Sexist Joke about females:
How long does it take a woman to orgasam?
WHO CARES?

Sexist Jokes about males:
What is the difference between men and Bonds?
Bonds Mature.

A mother was glowing about her newborn baby...
"He seems to have atributes of both sexes. He has a penis and a brain!"

Two guys are walking down the street when they observe a male dog licking it's privates. The first guy say "I have always wished I could do that!"
His friend replies "You probably ought to pet him first."

Nick

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes
From: GUEST,ben and alliee
Date: 20 Oct 08 - 05:57 AM

what is a mans real priority?







his privates

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes
From: Proogle
Date: 20 Oct 08 - 06:29 AM

LOL! and that road kill thing is blooming manky!

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 20 Oct 08 - 07:00 PM

Q: How many menopausal women does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb!   They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!!

They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry. What was the question?

Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes
From: Art Thieme
Date: 20 Oct 08 - 07:36 PM

From the beginning, the women's movement has taught me one huge lesson---and...

I no longer believe I'm God."

Art Thieme