BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 10:04 PM

That is horrible!
Poor kitty - I have witnessed many an inferno with kitties who insisted on cuddling up to the dinner candles or down on the pilot light. Crackle, FZZZZ, and stink. Singed tails and a look that says "I meant to do that!".

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: JennyO
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 09:31 PM

Speaking of cats on fire - there's this little ditty by one of our favourite Oz songwriters:

BASINGSTOKE - © Bernard Bolan

I've got a cat called Basingstoke, he's a cat you must admire
He's black and white, or he was 'till the night that he jumped into the fire
What a night! The tale it must be told
So grip your seat for you're in for a treat that will make your blood run cold.
Basingstoke, he used to be so furry
Till he tried to kung-fu the canary.
Up he jumped soaring ever higher
Then the soaring stopped and down he dropped
In the middle of the fire

In flames and smoke my Basingstoke went roaring round the room
His fiery tum and his blackened bum appeared to spell his doom.
What a cat! Whoever would have guessed
He could stick his rear in a pint of beer while beating out his chest.
Basingstoke, he truly is a trier.
It takes guts to sing when you're on fire
What a cat! You should have seen him strain
Stuck like glue in the bottom of the loo and trying to pull the chain

Now life's no joke for Basingstoke so runs the ugly rumour
That the fiery hob did not just rob him of his sense of humour
Poor old chap! The prospect it appals
Just one jump and down with a bump
And he's burnt off all his undergrowth.
Basingstoke, his tale is truly tragic
Fire and smoke, they have robbed him of his magic
The former spring-pawed terror of the tiles
Just sits and sighs with tears in his eyes
'Cause he only raises smiles.

Basingstoke, he used to be a charmer
Now ladies joke, they talk of fried banana
Poor old chap! He was too young to retire
Once he was happy, handsome and hairy
Just a red-blooded pussy with a taste for canary
Now he comes somewhere between a fritter and a fairy
Since he walked the fire.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: ranger1
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 07:49 PM

Why do you think I've been defending her?

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Becca72
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 07:44 PM

I would just like to remind all taking shots at Sinsull....yard sale season starts here in just a couple of months...you better watch out!

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 07:42 PM

I did not have murderous intentions with that chicken!
Red Rum Red Rum

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 10:57 AM

I had a cat like that... silly sod got too close to the Christmas candles one year. I was bringing in the Christmas pud (also flaming) and greeted people with 'Merry Christmas! Shit, the cat's on fire!'

It was the look on the cat's face as he turned round - as if to say 'what's that funny smell? Ooh, it's my bum!'

LTS















The cat was fine, long guard hairs flamed and extinguished instantly, thick coat protected him from actual burning.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 08:46 PM

I think Smoke and Go Elmac is closer to the original post....

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 08:20 PM

I don't need no stinkin' Easter Bunny! All I need is this one here:

This Easter Bunny Lays Easter Eggs .........better if you have hi-speed

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 06:35 PM

That should have read :-

Nearly Easter Sinsull...
Try sending Spaw an
Easter Bunny?
Quack!
Geoff.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 06:29 PM

I want the wererabbit one!!!

Don't they have one of Feathers McGraw??

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 06:25 PM

Nearly Easter Sinsull...
Try sending Spaw an
Quack!
Geoff.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 06:32 PM

Did he have a burning ring of fire??

LTS trying vainly to drag this back to music....

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 04 Mar 07 - 09:40 PM

"A paler shade of white, is all."

Actually, after putting out the fire, Spaw was definitely a shiter wade of ...

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: GUEST,Cruz
Date: 04 Mar 07 - 05:45 PM

Sinsull ATTEMPS To Kill Spaw

Gosh Sinsull, caint you do nothing right? I am sure there would be some here that would give you a real reward if your "Second Attempt" was successful.

However, I would not suggest using another assassin Trojan horse chicken because ol' Spaw49 "may" recognize that as a threat. Even some old cats can learn new tricks. Now, using an exploding egg disguised as a cute little pipping chick about to emerge from
a colored Easter egg should do the trick. At his age, Spaw's eyesight and hearin' caint be too good and he will have to be close up an personal with the egg next to his ear as the "ticking" baby chick pips its way outta the egg.

After the ensuing explosion, "All the Kings Horses and All the Kings Men will not be able to put Ol' Spaw together again…

Big, big problem solved.

Spaw, you know of course everyone, well some, okay a few, well really only 1 or 2, er, no one really likes you, even your auntie sinsull what tries to have you kilt.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Mar 07 - 05:06 PM

A wondrous, musical dancing chicken (that Seamus tried to murder before it got sent to 'spaw).

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Mar 07 - 02:59 PM

and not even a real chicken.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: skarpi
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 03:49 PM

and all this , just about a CHICKEN !!

,>)

O

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 03:31 PM

In parts? You mean, I have been separated? White, the yolks on me, then.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 02:34 PM

You're addled that's why, not even good in parts !
G

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 01:36 PM

Too bad, he cracks me up.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 12:49 PM

He's keeping his easy over, and it takes up all his thyme.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 11:38 AM

He's got shell shock and doesn't eggzackly feel like leaving 'ome(lette) at the moment.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 11:34 AM

Where's Severn, anyway? Haven't heard a peep from him in a bit. He always looks up, on the sunny side of things.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 11:14 AM

Good to hear ya haven't been coddled, even for a one-minute. I always said you wuz a good egg, even though a bit scrambled. A paler shade of white, is all. And not some to try the beater on, especially when he's boiled.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 11:00 AM

Hey what that Red from Rhode Island, owes me isn't chickenfeed ya know.
I was left shell shocked after the last scramble we had, I tell you it left me shaken and not shirred. So it's all white for you to make corny yolks about it, but it wasn't you he said "Albumen to you, what you guano do about it me old cock?" to, was it?
What's my chances of getting layed now, after that beating?

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 10:53 AM

Beak calm, guys. Why quibble over such a poultry sum?

A

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 10:37 AM

Hey. Don't henpeck me.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 08:35 AM

I hate you all.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 06:25 AM

Oh, yeah. After I leave, you vultures swoop in and carrion.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 05:40 PM

I blame Ben Franklin and his kite.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 05:39 PM

Hey! It was a battery that killed the last fowl!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 05:35 PM

What a battery of fowl jokes!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 03:45 PM

A relevant game: Click at Your Own Risk!

I wonder if anyone ever got fatally injured playing this game?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 02:50 PM

Geeziz what a dumb cluck.................

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 02:28 PM

No? Guess I'll have to flock off then.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 02:27 PM

I'm scratchin for chicken feed here... Help me out on this eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 02:26 PM

Crow up, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 02:25 PM

Comb on now!

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 02:24 PM

Ruffle my feathers?

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 02:23 PM

You trying to egg me on?

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 01:32 PM

I'd get your capon if I were you.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 01:27 PM

That was no chicken... that was a roaster!

Well, I tried to pullet off.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 04:26 AM

Hey Spaw; who was that hot chick I saw you with the other night?

G.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Charley Noble
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 08:44 PM

You folks wouldn't be trying to achive with flattery what Sinsull failed to achieve with her pyrotechnic chicken?

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 08:34 PM

A shy hairy melon???


(to drag this kicking and screaming into a music thread....)


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 07:27 PM

He's a bit like William Shatner in that respect. I mean where his modesty is concerned...

Shatner is not known for being shy. To the contrary, he's quite gregarious.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 07:21 PM

And his Degree in Understanding is mythical...
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 02:05 PM

Yes, his shyness is legendary. So too his modesty.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 10:34 AM

Spaw is also renowned for having coined the well-beloved line, "The old Wazoo is a mighty river..... But he keeps turning down the accolades that would by rights be his, for this coinage, if he were not so damn shy and misunderstood...


A

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 07:56 AM

I'm really glad I asked now!
G