Show of Hands (Recipes)

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 12:21 PM

I'm not sure I approve of the recommended treatment of the potiates prior to cooking.

Is all this poking and dropping in oil strictly necessary?

I mean, I'm as carniverous as they come, but I don't see the point of gratuitous cruelty to my supper.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Lizzie Cornish
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 12:36 PM

Er...sorry Ruth I realise that you think every 'Guest' is me...but it isn't.

Methinks I is starting to see The Green-Eyed Monster peeping over your shoulder!

Chuckle....... ;0)

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 12:36 PM

Thanks countess.
Anybody else out there have a recipe for "Potiates"
Particulatly interested in the rather rarer "Charlotte variety?"
More recipes please.

R
(Spatchcocking sounds like fun)

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Lizzie Cornish
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 12:47 PM

Ralph purely as a matter of interest, what would you think of people who took over a Nic Jones thread in the way that some, including yourself, have on here?

Anyone have any recipes for Hypocrite Pie at all?

I've heard it's a very popular dish in a very small part of the folk world.

:0)

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Folkiedave
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:01 PM

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Lizzie Cornish - PM
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 10:31 AM

Folkiedave....thank you for writing what you feel I *should* have written, but I write what I choose to write. Never do I write, or do, as people dictate I should. You are free to interpret my words or twist them, as you deem appropriate to your view of me. But if it's all the same to you, I'll just carry on the way I've always done...

That's very brave of you Lizzie - it results in you being banned off the BBC board. As Mr. Punch says - "that's the way to do it!!"

It also leaves people like me that you know little of that which you talk.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,, not Lizzie :-)
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:12 PM

I could litter my note with smileys and string you along, Ruth, but indeed I am not Lizzie. I don't even live near her. I am someone you know vaguely, and who actually likes you and admires you for your work. But fair is fair, I thought, hence my intervention.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:13 PM

Ralphie might have difficulty in treating the potiates so cruelly, he's like that,
But I don't think he's have very much hesitation in pulling off the Cornish Crab's nippers and dousing her in boiling oil.
Not a tasty dish but a job well done.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,fercryingoutloud
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:17 PM

nice one. more adult behavior.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:22 PM

Look - I have a cookie!

Listen, you need to know how this looks. I typed a reply, then though I should be nicer. Then, I figured I shouldn't worry too much about being nice since you just aren't people who have the skills to appreciate that.

Y'all are as vicious as a pack of rabid dogs and deserve each other. I (and others) have to endure this petty, vindictive sniping, the bullying, taunting and the self absorbed lack of consideration for any other readers outside your little circle of mutual abuse, if I dare open one of these threads.

You can have your squabbles, but I really wish you didn't wipe them all over the rest of us. I'm really glad I'm not likely to run into any of you.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:25 PM

My observation, Guest above, was inspired by madlizzie dragging the name of Nic Jones into her entirely ridiculous and pointless excuse for an argument.
This is, by any stretch of the imagination, wholly unforgiveable.
Besides, those potiates are exceptionally vicious and, while no punishment is bad enough for them, something far worse must be dreamed up for the Cornish mouth from which nothing of value ever emanates.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:32 PM

And could the newly-arrived swarm of 'Guests' kindly bear in mind that this read is about recipes.
That means 'how to cook things'.
Not 'how to manufacture apologies for a jumped-up, know-nothing, poisonous troll.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:38 PM

Thanks, GUEST. I read it before it was zapped.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:39 PM

Enough of the shit-storm then, it's catching my lamb!

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Devil's Advocate
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:41 PM

"I'm really glad I'm not likely to run into any of you."
Ah but Jeri, how do you know that?
.....................................................................
".. purely as a matter of interest, what would you think of people who took over a Nic Jones thread in the way that some, including yourself, have on here?"

Lizzie,you asked for a recipe for Hypocrite Pie - so, first take one hypocrite...........................................................
you have quite frequently taken over threads which had been proceeding in a very straightforward, serious and interesting manner, and littered them with your smilies, and inane links to Myspace pages, or websites with no thought to what the actual intent or content of the thread was. The words "pot" "kettle" and "black" spring very much to mind.... As with most of your allegations, the principle culprit is actually yourself - but it seems that you can't pluck out the mote in your own eye.

Truth to tell I've been finding the recipes much more interesting and far more entertaining than the majority of the other postings you have placed on this thread! I suspect the words "sense of humour" have no meaning with you.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:47 PM

SPATCHCOCKED CHARLOTTE POTIATES

1 kilo pack of Charlotte potiates (reduced or twoferone @ Sainsburys
1 steamroller

Place in line on ground
Start up steamroller
Go forwards over potiates

(Plotline nicked from The Archers, an everyday story of how to flavour milk with swedes)

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Devil's Advocate
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:48 PM

Oh heck George - all of a sudden that lamb doesn't sound quite as enticing. Any way of resurrecting the dish and restoring it to pristince condition again???

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:54 PM

Back to Greek Easter:

KOKORETSI:

When you got the lanb from the butcher, you should also have asked for its offal and intestines, separately.

Take two buckets full of water. Stick the small intestines in one bucket, slosh them, empty the water and refill and repeat 2-3 times till the water runs clear. Take a large knitting needle and use it to turn each piece of the intestine inside out. (I know that theoretically it should be all one piece, but it is delicate and can break) As you turn each piece, put it in the 2nd bucket. When you finished turning them, repeat the whole process from the start (slosh, empty and refill 2-3 times, then turn back to normal and drop into the first bucket - which you have filled with fresh water). Cover the bucket with the intestine and put aside.

Clean the lungs, liver, spleen and kidneys and cut them to plum size. Season very well with salt, pepper and oregano. Using a long skewer (4 foot or so, thickness of a knitting needle), thread the pieces on, alternating the organs as it were, and pack them TIGHT. When you're done, take the washed intestines, and wrap very well and tight around the pieces of offal on the skewer, again and again thill the whole thing is trussed in intestine. Tie the end securely, and season again the outside of your construction.

Put the skewer on supports over a medium BBQ fire (not too close) and turn fast for 30 minutes, then slow down and continue turning for another 45-60 minutes, basting with olive oil. Cut pieces off the skewer onto a plate, pour yourself a glass of ouzo and enjoy.

This is one of the side dishes on Greek Easter Sunday, as it clearly gets cooked well before the lamb is finished.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Devil's Advocate
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:54 PM

Sorry Countess but "Go forwards over potiates" - don't you need some special protective gear for that... I understood that they could be somewhat dangerous when cornered? I'm also concerned about the overall end effectI thought that they had armoured scales ... doesn't it make for a rather lumpy effect? Wouldn't you need a good lump hammer as well?

Re previous post "pristince" - a definite culinary technique, of course!

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:56 PM

Nah, I had the lamb covered, it's safe, I used one of Bernard Matthews' sheds.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:59 PM

Well, guestnotlizzie, if fair is fair perhaps you'll pm me and tell me who you are. And then I can explain the particular transgressions that have led us to such a nasty place. The idea that I was insulting Damien on any level is frankly laughable.



By the way, I'm not going to be asking for George's shit-covered lamb recipe.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Devil's Advocate
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:59 PM

Phew - nothing to worry about except bird flu then! That's a relief!

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Devil's Advocate
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 02:02 PM

Countess - I've just been having a think about the recipe for Charlotte Potiates - is there an essential difference in the flavour if the Potiates are actually full price and not reduced or twoferone?

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 02:04 PM

No, these are of the Charlotte variety.
And a steam roller is built like a Chieftain (get the 'music' allusion, though that is somewhat debateable) tank these days.
It might be a bit much for the internal organs, though, now that Goerge has mentioned them.
Potiate livers can be conserved as a delicacy and made into paté (can't be arsed to remember how to do an 'a circonflex').
But you do need rather a lot of them.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 02:12 PM

Look, I wiped it, good as new, Ruth!
(shouts) Lamb onna stick! Getyerlambonnastick 'ere! Pound a stick, and I'm cuttin' me own throat, I tell ya!
(Terry Pratchett has a lot to answer for)

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Devil's Advocate
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 02:14 PM

Sorry George (or should I call you Goerge from now on?)- but it HAS to be dear old sausageinnabun in that case... have you got any lamb and mint ones???

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 02:28 PM

Well I'm normally quite fussy about the provenance of my food, but for a quid, who can argue?

I'll take two.

That's supper sorted.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Sparticus
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 02:52 PM

George, that recipe for KOKORETSI sounds offal!

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 03:01 PM

don't you mean offally good?

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Sorcha
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 03:05 PM

Sounds like haggis to me......ducks and runs.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 03:07 PM

If that Guest was actually from Sparta he might have managed to call himself Spartacus.
Offal kebabs? Yummy with plenty of ouzo.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Blowzabella
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 03:26 PM

I'm having haggis for my tea tonight - just t hought I'd mention it.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Sparticus
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 03:30 PM

The "tic" is a medical condition countess.

If the potiates actually come from the ground you might have managed to call them potatoes.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 03:47 PM

My cat caught a tick once.
Methoprene got rid of it. (The tick, not the cat).
Try it.

Potiate: a vicious Venezuelan marsupial.
Why don't people read the thread?

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Folkiedave
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 04:12 PM

You know that is one of the things I like about Mudcat............

You read the threads and you learn so much. Well most people do........

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 04:21 PM

My daughter has been wanting a pet for some time. She now has her heart set on a potiate.

Does anyone know if they can be domesticated?

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Blowzabella
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 04:36 PM

If you are considering getting a potiate as a pet, please consider going to a reputable rescue centre, rather than buying from a breeder. Give a mistreated potiate a second chance for a forever home.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 04:37 PM

domesticated

Isn't that something those Greeks drink?
George?

Get her a tamagotchi.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 04:41 PM

and remember - a potiate is not just for Christmas - they can be enjoyed for an Easter dinner too :)

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 04:43 PM

Sound advice, Blowzabella.

Do they need to be de-fanged and de-clawed before being introduced to a domestic environment?

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Blowzabella
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 04:48 PM

I would suggest so - unless you are an experienced handler - but the definite de-ing that needs doing is to prevent pots (the collective terms for a group of young) of unwanted potiates ... if you follow me.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 04:53 PM

I see...yes. I need to find a vet who specialises in neutering Venezuelan marsupials.

A tall order in Lincolnshire.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 04:54 PM

and don't forget the potti training .......

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Canadienne
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 04:54 PM

Ruth - 5ft is "tall" in Lincolnshire !

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Devil's Advocate
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 05:08 PM

Never mind the Venezuelan potiates - what about the Swaziland cross variety - a much gentler and sophisticated beast, with delicate markings ,and no need to de-fang. Evolution has worked such wonders with them ! Safe with children ... well nearly... but good guard potiates as well. You never need to worry about mad intruders with them - just don't give them water after midnight!

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Devil's Advocate
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 05:20 PM

It is, of course, a little known fact that the name of the potiate is derived from the Italian verb "to prune". Although the beasts are principally thought of as carnivores, the long fangs were originally used for herbivorous purposes, and they were kept in smallish herds in order to keep the grass down in the Venezuelan meadows - which in turn provided them with that succulent grass fed flavour when the Venezuelan farmers turned to breeding them for meat.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: GUEST,Ralph Jordan
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 05:31 PM

Qoute from Ms Cornish (aka Mrs Route)

"Ralph, purely as a matter of interest, what would you think of people who took over a Nic Jones thread in the way that some, including yourself, have on here?

Anyone have any recipes for Hypocrite Pie at all?"

Liz.

I have been warned not to respond to your posting.
But, I can't resist a little repost.
All I can say is that you are not worthy to even speak the name of Nic Jones..... Do you know him?? Have you ever heard his work??
Didn't think so....
You can have a dig at me and others, but don't take Nics name in vain.

Who do you think you are?
Some sort of valiant knight, fighting the good fight on behalf of you little friends to keep Old England English????

Nic, even 25 years on, has more talent and humanity in his little finger than you have in your whole body.


Life,Get,A.....re arrange.
Not Big, Not Clever.

Stop It, and Go Away.

I normally say Regards at this point.
But, tonight, I can't.
When I come to play At Sidmouth Fest this August, I'd keep out of my way, if I were you.

Ralph Jordan

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Sorcha
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 10:52 PM

Folks, she hasn't gotten it. She doesn't get it. She never will get it. My personal response to her is...I'm outta her. If ya'll do the same she'll have to talk to herself. How utterly boring. Let's let her do that for a bit, eh?

Smilie Pie

Take 3 million smilies. Mince fine. Lard well with pork fat.
Fry several tear inducing onions in fake butter. Garlic optional.
Mix with some flower. Slap between hands til shown well.
Add plastic flower seeds to suit.
Bake in a Sidmouth oven (a Whitby will work in a pinch) til nearly burnt, turn out for the masses. They shall natter about it for yonks.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 12:19 AM

Sorcha, I fear you're right.
Of course she won't get it.
But well said.

While you're at it though, bake a nicer cake for Ralphie.
One that says 'Congratulations'.
And thanks from us all.

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 02:48 AM

It's a well-known fact that the Swaziland-cross potiate's principle food source is the Smilie pie. Sorch, is there any chance you could ship a few post haste? We take delivery of the new addition to our family later on today. *beams proudly*

Can't wait to meet the little darling!

Subject: RE: Show of Hands (Recipes)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 03:01 AM

"Ruth - 5ft is "tall" in Lincolnshire !"

Come and visit, C - you'll be a giant!

:D