|
18 Mar 07 - 08:35 AM (#2000093) Subject: BS: Relating to the IRS From: Uncle_DaveO "How to Annoy the IRS" 1. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on the right side. 2. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side). 3. Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand. 4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, send a second or third party check. On top of paying with a third party check, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms. 5. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on. 6. Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a supermarket sack. 7. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if it's just a single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess. 8. If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form. 9. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away. 10. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be verified and then date stamped. These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the IRS. **These methods are ONLY recommended when you OWE money. (Not original with me, more's the pity!) Dave Oesterreich |
|
18 Mar 07 - 08:44 AM (#2000101) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: The Fooles Troupe Glad to see you're NOT a Natural Person, DaveO... |
|
18 Mar 07 - 09:06 AM (#2000114) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: artbrooks And everything that you suggest simply makes the day of some poor GS-3 mail clerk difficult, and does absolutely nothing to upset the IRS. |
|
18 Mar 07 - 10:23 AM (#2000163) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: Stilly River Sage They've actually gotten much better at their customer service. I made a mistake on my taxes a couple of years ago and when I called to ask about the recalculation the guy was very helpful. SRS |
|
18 Mar 07 - 02:39 PM (#2000378) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: Riginslinger Much better than in the 1980's, when the Reagan Administration was using the IRS to go after their political enemies. I managed to become one, somehow, a political enemy, that is. |
|
19 Mar 07 - 05:54 AM (#2000846) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: Dave'sWife While that list is amusing, following any of it's advice might result in problems for you rather than the I.R.S. Remember too, any added expense you cause them in dealing with your filing eventually costs YOU, the taxpayer. Best way to deal with the I.R.S. is to have a good accountant who helps you estimate your taxes properly so you can make appropriate withholding decisons. You don't want a huge refund or to owe taxes. Ideally, they should owe you a hundred or two hundred dollars. Have said accountent file electronically which saves taxpayers the cost of handling all those purposefully mangled returns and you get your refeund in a couple of weeks. Of course, if you are one of those people who simply cannot resists the urge to spend money in hand, having them withhold extra isn't so bad. You just lose the interest you would have gotten during the year had you kept that money in a savings account or other fund. |
|
19 Mar 07 - 07:10 AM (#2000878) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: kendall There are two things you should never do: 1. Step on Superman's cape 2.Mess with the IRS |
|
19 Mar 07 - 07:35 AM (#2000894) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: The Fooles Troupe There are three things you should never do: 1. Step on Superman's cape 2. Mess with the IRS 3. Piss into the wind |
|
19 Mar 07 - 08:04 AM (#2000920) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: artbrooks There are four things you should never do: 1. Step on Superman's cape 2. Mess with the IRS 3. Piss into the wind 4. Eat yellow snow |
|
19 Mar 07 - 08:09 AM (#2000925) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: The Fooles Troupe Among the many things.... |
|
19 Mar 07 - 08:28 AM (#2000944) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: Donuel Send them a list of names and address' of as many public officials you can find. Say you have heard these people did not file 9 or 10 years ago. You will get 50% of the fines and fees collected by the IRS for every person who can not find their 10 year old return form. |
|
19 Mar 07 - 09:32 AM (#2001016) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: Ebbie Don, isn't the maximum required seven years? |
|
19 Mar 07 - 09:37 AM (#2001022) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: katlaughing I know I posted to this thread a day or two ago. We had to deal with them for ten years while we paid off old taxes from when Rog worked in VZ and we lost our shirts. They were nothing but kindness, understanding, and patient. |
|
19 Mar 07 - 10:50 AM (#2001097) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: Donuel I thought so too but since we were targeted this year, our lawyer said we need to keep 10 years worth of returns. The fact the IRS knows you paid does not mean that you are immune from the claim you did not file. You are presumed guilty unless you have the form. If you can not prove the filing the fine is only a couple hundred dollars. Then the tipster gets a portion of the fine collected. |
|
20 Mar 07 - 10:16 AM (#2002057) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: Uncle_DaveO However, knowingly (or wilfully) filing a false report with a governmental agency is a crime, and is to be avoided. Dave Oesterreich |
|
20 Mar 07 - 06:09 PM (#2002554) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: Midchuck The original post contained a wonderful list of suggestions for ways to get yourself audited. What you really want to do is attract as little attention from the people processing your return, as possible. One might think that Uncle DaveO was trying to get other people to do these things in order to attract attention away from his own return. But that's probably paranoid. Probably. Peter. |
|
21 Mar 07 - 09:51 AM (#2003016) Subject: RE: BS: Relating to the IRS From: The Fooles Troupe Definitely probably. |