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19 Apr 07 - 09:17 PM (#2030620) Subject: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp And boy, am I sick of people who make that assumption! What a ridiculous idea! Monkeys are flea-brained, scatty, and inclined to be hysterical. They're ugly too. Anyone who thinks I got any monkey genes is out to lunch. Monkeys got tails. Do you see a tail on me? NO! I ain't no monkey! Get it straight. Babboons are monkeys. Rhesus are monkeys. Capuchins are monkeys. I am a chimpanzee. If it was Darwin who started this BS about us bein' descended from monkeys then I would like to go back in a time machine and bust his chops. What a jerk! Just ask Tarzan. I ain't no monkey and there ain't none in my family either. I am 100% ape. God's finest creation. - Chongo |
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19 Apr 07 - 09:21 PM (#2030625) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Rapparee "God's finest creation." Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heard all that before. Chimps are just banana-sucking fungoid growths on the primate family tree. |
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19 Apr 07 - 09:30 PM (#2030626) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: John O'L "God's finest creation" Someone throw a bit of crap at him. |
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20 Apr 07 - 03:24 AM (#2030776) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: John MacKenzie What about your nephews, the Rhesus Boys? G. |
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20 Apr 07 - 03:28 AM (#2030780) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Slag Oh, when I first saw this thread title my initial impulse was to put a call in to Chongo! Hey, two great minds but with one thought. Me and Chongo. We got chimpestry! |
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20 Apr 07 - 04:01 AM (#2030789) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Geoff the Duck My ancestors were T-Rex Quack! GtD. |
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20 Apr 07 - 04:08 AM (#2030793) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Stu Too right Chongo - you tell 'em. Us apes are the civilised side of the family. Personally I won't have anything to do with those long-armed, swinging, whooping gibbons, let alone little hairy monkeys. Anyone got a light for my banana? Stigweard the Simian |
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20 Apr 07 - 04:14 AM (#2030797) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: nickp Yeah, apes... ook ook! |
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20 Apr 07 - 04:25 AM (#2030802) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Dave Hanson Got news for you Chongo baboons are apes too, no tails see, and note the correct spelling. eric |
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20 Apr 07 - 06:11 AM (#2030846) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: JohnInKansas I read it ... Also note the following couple of posts. John |
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20 Apr 07 - 07:24 AM (#2030871) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Schantieman Well, actually, the ancestors of most modern animals species are not other modern animal species, but extinct species which were replaced by others. In many cases one species produced several offshoots which underwent speciation, in othres, only one. Sorry if this spoils a good argument ;-) Steve |
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20 Apr 07 - 08:30 AM (#2030950) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Don(Wyziwyg)T There you go again, Schantieman, confusing the issue with irrelevant truths. LOL Don T. |
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20 Apr 07 - 09:40 AM (#2031022) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Rapparee Chimps are only fit to show in zoos or on television as the companions to human comedians. |
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20 Apr 07 - 09:52 AM (#2031041) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: MMario baboons are old world monkeys - the apes include Gibbons & Siamangs;Orangutans;Gorillas and chimps. and humans |
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20 Apr 07 - 11:15 AM (#2031135) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Stu A glance at the classification of monkeys shows clearly how they are seperated from humans: Kingdom: Animalia Phylum: Chordata Class: Mammalia Order: Primates Family: Americanuspoliticae Subfamily: Neoconservitae Genus: Republicani Species: George W. Bush |
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20 Apr 07 - 12:38 PM (#2031206) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: KB in Iowa Here we come Walking down the street We get the funniest looks from Everyone we meet. Hey, hey we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around. But we're too busy singing, to put anybody down. We go wherever we want to, Do what we like to do. We don't have time to get restless, There's always something new. Hey, hey we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around. But we're too busy singing, to put anybody down. We're just trying to be friendly, Come watch us sing and play. We're the young generation, And we got something to say. Hey, hey we're the Monkees, You never know where we'll be found. So you'd better get ready, We may be comin to your town. Hey, hey we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around. But we're too busy singing, to put anybody down. |
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20 Apr 07 - 12:42 PM (#2031211) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Hey, Eric the Red, you are just a fountain of disinformation, ain't you? So Baboons got no tails, huh? Yeah, sure...tell me another one, ya sap. Baboon I have had a lotta dealings with Baboons. They are ugly bastards, probably the ugliest primate there is. They got a mean set of teeth. But they do make good sneak thiefs, safe crackers, and hustlers, that's for damn sure. They don't lack a certain amount of talent. I will freely admit that. |
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20 Apr 07 - 12:44 PM (#2031213) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: dwditty So your last name is not Dolenz, Jones, Tork, or Nesbitt, then. |
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20 Apr 07 - 12:51 PM (#2031223) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: MMario I would think the possibility of "Clayton" or "Greystoke" would be higher. |
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20 Apr 07 - 01:00 PM (#2031233) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: GUEST,Chonga from the family album? |
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20 Apr 07 - 01:04 PM (#2031239) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Amos Chongo's got a girlfriend! A |
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20 Apr 07 - 01:04 PM (#2031240) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Little Hawk What a lovely picture! |
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20 Apr 07 - 01:31 PM (#2031276) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: GUEST,Chonga girlfriend? - I'll give him "girlfriend"! |
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20 Apr 07 - 02:11 PM (#2031325) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: GUEST,Monkey of Shallott I'll give his girlfriend one.... Is there any connection between human females painting their cheeks, lips and eyelids and the colorful arse of a Baboon? |
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20 Apr 07 - 02:14 PM (#2031330) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: MMario one is natural - the other is artificial; one is instinctive and biological; the other is artificial |
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20 Apr 07 - 02:21 PM (#2031336) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Bill D human females seldom paint their ischial callosity |
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20 Apr 07 - 02:38 PM (#2031350) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Stilly River Sage Lots of possibilities when bringing Bonobos into the thread, but I think I'll send this one just because you're all no doubt expecting something else. :) SRS |
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20 Apr 07 - 02:52 PM (#2031364) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Bill D LOLOL..SRS...I have video from 23 years ago of me doing exactly that game with my son! He loved it! |
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20 Apr 07 - 03:15 PM (#2031383) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Yer right Chongo. Monkeys are not your ancestors, they are, in fact, your cousins. Have a nice day. Don T (LOLOL) |
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20 Apr 07 - 03:27 PM (#2031390) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Rapparee No, they weren't. Your ancestors, like mine, were tiny rat-like creatures. |
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20 Apr 07 - 04:17 PM (#2031425) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: KB in Iowa "Your ancestors, like mine, were tiny rat-like creatures." So are many of my acquaintances. |
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20 Apr 07 - 04:27 PM (#2031434) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: GUEST,Canadienne KB - you've just gotta stop hanging out in the 85 billion thread :) |
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20 Apr 07 - 04:45 PM (#2031445) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: KB in Iowa I can't help it, I'm obsessed. East is east and west is west but I'm really looking forward to when the Shane's shall meet. |
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20 Apr 07 - 08:36 PM (#2031590) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: GUEST,Big Ape Louis Yer right, Chongo Chump. Yer ancestors weren't monkeys. Yer ancestors were little pieces of crap clinging to the rear hairs of monkeys. The Boss says so and The Boss is always right. |
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20 Apr 07 - 09:43 PM (#2031633) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: frogprince I opened this thread fully expecting it to be started by a staunch "Bible Believing" Christian. : ) |
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20 Apr 07 - 09:58 PM (#2031642) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Bill D Oh, frogprince, it might have been! listen to this song by Uncle Dave Macon. |
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20 Apr 07 - 10:35 PM (#2031658) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Nickhere And then there's Dave Bartholemew's (Fats Domino's manager and a musician in his own right) song - THE MONKEY Yeahhh! The monkey speaks his mind! Now, three monkeys sat in a coconut tree Discussing things as they are said to be Said one to the other "Now listen you two – There's a certain rumour that can't be true That man descended from our noble race? The very idea is a big disgrace! No monkey ever deserted his wife, Starve her baby and ruined her life! Yeahhh! The monkey speaks his mind. And you never known a mother-monk To leave the babies with others to bunk Or pass them on from one to another Till they scarcely knew who was their mother Yeahhh! The monkey speaks his mind. And another thing you will never see A monkey build a fence around a coconut tree And let all the coconuts go to waste Forbidden all other monkeys to come and taste Why, if I put a fence around this tree Starvation would force you to steal from me! Yeahhh! The monkey speaks his mind. Here's another thing a monkey won't do Go out at night and get on a still Or use a gun or club or knife To take another's monkey's life Yes, man descended, the worthless bum But brothers, from us, he did not come Yeahhh! The monkey speaks his mind. |
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20 Apr 07 - 10:43 PM (#2031663) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: frogprince There's a poem in the same vein that I've heard a couple of times, which ends, "Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss; but brother, he didn't descend from us". |
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21 Apr 07 - 01:06 AM (#2031704) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Stilly River Sage Bill D, my kids always loved that move also. What better reason to assume a close relation between those wonderful creatures and ourselves? They enjoy entertaining their babies. :) SRS |
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21 Apr 07 - 01:18 AM (#2031710) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Rowan Has anyone here ever seen human females painting ... the colorful arse of a Baboon? The mind boggles. Cheers, Rowan |
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21 Apr 07 - 03:41 AM (#2031748) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Gurney Beat me to it, Rowan. I was researching all the human females I met to find out if any of them had painted a baboon's arse, and they said they hadn't. They said some other things as well. |
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21 Apr 07 - 06:42 AM (#2031831) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Don(Wyziwyg)T S**t Gurney! Coffee all over the desk again. Thank God it just missed the keyboard. Don T. |
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21 Apr 07 - 12:15 PM (#2032008) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Stringsinger Every human's ancestor was a single-celled amoeba floating in a sea of slime. Frank Hamilton |
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21 Apr 07 - 01:38 PM (#2032056) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Little Hawk Unless we were seeded here or came here from somewhere else. Such as Mars, for one possibility. If so, it would have been a rather long time ago...prior to our current recorded history. |
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21 Apr 07 - 04:37 PM (#2032166) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Stilly River Sage LH, you fell asleep in the barcalounger with the Star Trek TV festival playing again, didn't you? |
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21 Apr 07 - 05:15 PM (#2032189) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Liz the Squeak I painted a baboon once.... then I did a zebra and a gecko. Although I know someone who has obviously used the male Mandrill as their role model for applying facial makeup. One can never have too much blue eye shadow! LTS |
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21 Apr 07 - 05:34 PM (#2032202) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Little Hawk I'm not saying I believe it, Stilly....but I'm not saying it could not have happened either. And if it did...and if it was hundreds of thousands of years ago and some major earth-changes occured since then, who do you think would know any differently now? No one, that's who. Human life may be more widely spread through the Universe than people imagine. I regard their insular approach to this planet as being just like the insular approach of some people on a tiny island...their theory being, "Well, this is the only island where human beings ever existed and ever have." Yeah....uh-huh. A typical assumption of the insular-minded. |
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21 Apr 07 - 09:20 PM (#2032314) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Rapparee Life on Earth evolved from the litter and garbage left by an intergalactic Spring Break beer bust. |
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21 Apr 07 - 09:23 PM (#2032317) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Little Hawk Yeah... ;-) |
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21 Apr 07 - 09:57 PM (#2032338) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Bill D Life as WE know it probably sprang from the widespread use of an alien form of Budweiser! |
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21 Apr 07 - 11:09 PM (#2032371) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Mrrzy Life arose on this planet so early in its formation that I am fairly sure it would happen on any planet, for a while. We got lucky with our water, and our tides - it's stayed around for a few billion years so far. |
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21 Apr 07 - 11:53 PM (#2032383) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Little Hawk I also figure it happens on a great many planets, like you say, "for awhile". There could be some pretty interesting stuff out there if we had a more practical way of traveling great distances in space. I would figure Mars for a likely candidate of having once (not too long ago in planetary terms) supported a good deal of life, but probably not much now...if any. It seems to have lost a great deal of its surface water and its atmosphere. |
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22 Apr 07 - 11:01 AM (#2032599) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Mr Happy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjKMhtyI3L8 |
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22 Apr 07 - 11:24 AM (#2032613) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Bill D oh, right...I see my education has been sadly lacking. I had so far missed "Ali G" exploring the universe by interviewing famous persons in a 'special' way. Why, he even gets Noam Chomfsky to explaining language by asking such insightful questions as "How many words we got?" "What are some of them?" I have just one thought...why do they give this person air time, and why not give joHn from Hull a program? |
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22 Apr 07 - 11:30 AM (#2032618) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Bill D I get it..."Ali G" is Borat is Sacha Baron Cohen....and they are all beyond my sadly limited sense of humor. Ah, well...it's a big, wide world and de gustibus non disputandum |
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22 Apr 07 - 01:55 PM (#2032718) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Little Hawk LOL! Boy, what a weirdo that guy is. |
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22 Apr 07 - 06:41 PM (#2032893) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Rapparee I think he's been in my library a couple times, trying to figure out what the marks on the paper and computer screen were. |
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23 Apr 07 - 08:44 AM (#2033339) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Little Hawk He's obviously the man to ask if you have any unanswered questions. |
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23 Apr 07 - 08:47 AM (#2033342) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Rapparee Probably a close relative of Chongo. |
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23 Apr 07 - 09:19 AM (#2033372) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Little Hawk That's a gross insult to Chongo. Chongo is almost incomparably better informed and more coherent in every way than "Ali 'G'". More likable too. |
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23 Apr 07 - 05:31 PM (#2033762) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Little Hawk And if Chongo ever met Ali "G" (Sacha Byron Cohen), I believe he would probably punch him out within about the first two minutes of their acquaintance. Right after the poop-throwing and the simian sex jokes.... |
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23 Apr 07 - 10:03 PM (#2033947) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Rapparee Yeah, yeah. Chongo doesn't care enough to follow this thread, much less feel insulted by anything in it. |
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23 Apr 07 - 10:56 PM (#2033980) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Little Hawk He's out on a case. He's busy. You gotta earn money if you wanna buy mangos and pay the rent. |
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24 Apr 07 - 02:36 AM (#2034064) Subject: RE: BS: My ancestors weren't monkeys!!! From: Ernest OK, Chongo: but are your kids monkeys? |
