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Here's a good lead-in story or song material!

03 Apr 99 - 07:00 PM (#67924)
Subject: Here's a good lead-in story or song material!
From: katlaughing

I've a cousin who just went to work building a soybean plant in Egypt. Usually he emails a daily diary of the trials and travails of being in a new culture. Today, he just sent this story. It was so funny and good, I immediately thought, "I gotta post this to the Mudcat! They'll get a kick out of it and maybe someone would like to incorporate it into their repertoire!"

Anyhow, here it is. Enjoy!katlaughing

A London couple named Smith had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon". Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door babyphotographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale."Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cutin.
"Really ?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies.
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the livingroom floor is fun too; you can really spread out."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that,I'm sure."
"Don't I know it!!," Mrs. Smith exclaimed?
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
"Oh my god!!," Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.
"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
>"Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally,when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment ?".
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."
"Tripod??," Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted !!"

03 Apr 99 - 11:10 PM (#67974)
Subject: RE: Here's a good lead-in story or song material!
From: katlaughing

refresh.......'cause you guys might enjoy this, darn it!

03 Apr 99 - 11:15 PM (#67977)
Subject: RE: Here's a good lead-in story or song material!
From: Helen

Hi katlaughing,

I would have thought Art would have found this thread by now.

It's a good story.

Helen

03 Apr 99 - 11:16 PM (#67979)
Subject: RE: Here's a good lead-in story or song material!
From: catspaw49

Do you ever go back and look at your post...I'm a keystroke behind. Chat...now?

catspaw

04 Apr 99 - 12:29 AM (#67991)
Subject: RE: Here's a good lead-in story or song material!
From: katlaughing

It was great! Catspaw!

04 Apr 99 - 12:36 AM (#67993)
Subject: RE: Here's a good lead-in story or song material!
From: catspaw49

That it was kat.

catspaw

04 Apr 99 - 04:53 AM (#68022)
Subject: RE: Here's a good lead-in story or song material!
From: Night Owl

It's a frightening thought.....leaving you two alone....somewhere!!!!!!!Having repeatedly tried to enter the chat room, only to find that my identity is insufficient...I can only assume that you had the doors locked.

05 Apr 99 - 12:16 AM (#68192)
Subject: RE: Here's a good lead-in story or song material!
From: katlaughing

Geez, Night Owl, if ya'd rung the bell, we would've letcha in! Darn, 'Spaw, would you fix that dang thing?

It said "Catspaw 41" was the host and Catspaw 49 and I, were the guests. Honestly didn't see any evidence of anyone else trying to break down the door or knock out any windows.

About that insufficient identity: have you checked with Witness Protection lately? They do change them on you once in a while, ya' know, to keep the wolves away from your door. Then, too, with Paw & Cletus on the loose, it might not be such a bad idea to have your identity a little on the shady side!***BG***

katlaughing