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30 Apr 07 - 06:25 PM (#2039816) Subject: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Richard Bridge A long long time ago I was so puzzled by the unpredictable and irrational agression of a member that I started a thread called "Has Gargoyle got piles". The powers that be, of course, disapproved. But there are some people currently behaving with all the self control of Naomi Campbell after a botched Brazilian. Should we have a monthly "gall-bladder" award for the most outpouring of unnecessary bile? Who should we currently nominate? |
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30 Apr 07 - 06:38 PM (#2039826) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Peace Start with me. You can have it next month. Howzat? |
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30 Apr 07 - 06:44 PM (#2039831) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: The Fooles Troupe Never can keep a straight face when hearing the song "Pile Drivin' Man"... |
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30 Apr 07 - 06:47 PM (#2039832) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Peace LOL |
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30 Apr 07 - 10:29 PM (#2039964) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: JennyO I'm tempted to post John Dengate's song "Rectal Bleeding Calypso", but do I dare? |
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30 Apr 07 - 10:35 PM (#2039968) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: The Fooles Troupe Dare! Dare! |
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01 May 07 - 12:03 AM (#2040018) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Richard Bridge Well, Peace, neither of us were exactly who I had in mind at the moment..... |
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01 May 07 - 12:05 AM (#2040020) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Peace Oh. LOL |
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01 May 07 - 12:13 AM (#2040029) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: JennyO Oh all right. Never could resist a dare. But beware - this song should carry a bad taste warning! Rectal Bleeding Calypso - Words & Music ©: John Dengate I was passing some rectal blood Sometimes half a cup – So I go up to the doctor, Thinking he will fix me up. He poke around in my rectum 'Til his face is wreathed in smiles. As he idly toyed with a haemorrhoid, He says "Have you got piles?". Chorus Oh! If you suffer from rectal bleeding, Or some sim'lar disease – Ooh! Stay a-way from the hospitals And the doctors' surgeries. But I don't get snaky or cranky – I know he's doin' his best. He say, sincerely and frankly I must see the specialist. Oh! The specialist is a rugby man – He ruck the Uni scrum. He practise shoving and pushing With this thing stuck up my bum! Oh! If you suffer from rectal bleeding ... Oh! Off to specialist number two And this he say to me: "Have to put you in hospital, For colon-os-co-py". Oh! Colonoscopy does not sound like Very pleasant idea And first you swallow this poisonous muck That gives you diarrhoea! Oh! If you suffer from rectal bleeding ... Oh! Doctor say to me, sadly, With a face like wise old owl: Colonoscoscope won't go round The main loop of your bowel. Barium enema – that's the thing He reckons must be tried. I should have taken the coward's way And planned on suicide! Oh! If you suffer from rectal bleeding ... Is no damn wonder that my hand shake – No wonder I imbibe. Barium enema … so damned terrible, Words can not describe. I've had a bowel and a belly-full, I've had much more than I need. I've naught to show, for they still don't know, What causes me to bleed. Oh! If you suffer from rectal bleeding Or some sim'lar disease – Ooh! Stay a-way from the hospitals And the doctors' surgeries. |
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01 May 07 - 12:23 AM (#2040036) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: The Fooles Troupe The proctologist said to the patient "How many fingers am I holding up?" |
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01 May 07 - 01:16 AM (#2040048) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Sorcha Hey, when we had a radio show, Max called it the Rat Bastard of the Week. I say, bring it back! |
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01 May 07 - 09:13 PM (#2040808) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Gulliver Using a lubricant might help. |
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01 May 07 - 10:50 PM (#2040879) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Rapparee Didja hear about the drink made from milk of magnesia and vodka? It's called a pile driver. |
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02 May 07 - 01:06 AM (#2040925) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Bert I went for a checkup a while back and they did a colonoscopy. Before I went in a nurse took my blood pressure. After the event she took my blood pressure again. I asked "Is there any difference"? She said "It went up a little" I replied "I'm not surprised". |
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02 May 07 - 05:49 AM (#2041066) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Dave the Gnome I thought it "Poles or other immigrants"... D. |
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02 May 07 - 05:55 AM (#2041074) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Donuel Demonstrating deserved outrage is only 1% what it should be. at 25% there is chaos at 50% there is civil war do I hear 20, 20 20 20 going once going twice.... |
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02 May 07 - 05:58 AM (#2041077) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Donuel http://www.rense.com/1.imagesH/OK_dees.jpg |
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02 May 07 - 09:33 AM (#2041221) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Rapparee Piles or other irritants...I thought this was one of the political threads.... |
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22 Oct 08 - 07:04 AM (#2472592) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: GUEST,Justin U Anyone any cures for piles that itch ? Tried everything the doctor gave me, they are a bastard. I can live with the piles, not the itch. |
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22 Oct 08 - 07:12 AM (#2472596) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: GUEST,wallaby Try some tea tree oil, Justin, it'll do wonders. |
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22 Oct 08 - 07:56 AM (#2472613) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: quokka dencorub |
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22 Oct 08 - 07:57 AM (#2472616) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: SINSULL Sitz bath and a good book. |
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22 Oct 08 - 08:41 AM (#2472641) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: John MacKenzie Song for haemorrhoids, and other assholes XG |
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22 Oct 08 - 09:25 AM (#2472679) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: GUEST,Justin U Thanks wallaby, just bought some there on ebay. Again thanks |
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22 Oct 08 - 09:32 AM (#2472691) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Donuel Sawz and rigs have pulled ahead of Doug R But who really cares if a teenager gets some kind of award for being the most disagreeable. |
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22 Oct 08 - 11:15 AM (#2472794) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Bill D Maybe it ain't just piles...maybe it's pinworms... (he says from sad experience 35 years ago) |
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22 Oct 08 - 12:15 PM (#2472839) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Donuel shit, one more thing to worry about |
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22 Oct 08 - 12:20 PM (#2472844) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Bill D *grin*... exactly! |
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22 Oct 08 - 12:58 PM (#2472877) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: bubblyrat Is it really true that,in the US, a manufacturer of a cream or other remedy for piles used the song "Ring of Fire" in their advertisements ?? I do hope so ! |
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22 Oct 08 - 01:02 PM (#2472883) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Bill D hmmm... I seem to remember something about that. I can't remember if it was real or a parody. |
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22 Oct 08 - 07:14 PM (#2473220) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: Stilly River Sage Such a savory set of threads going this afternoon. Is this the antidote to too much politics? Or too many politicians? |
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23 Oct 08 - 03:11 AM (#2473445) Subject: RE: BS: Piles or other irritants From: freda underhill They tried to use the song, but Johnny Cash's family wouldn't let them. June Carter wrote it btw. |
