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11 May 07 - 01:14 PM (#2049331) Subject: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk If there were 10 Commandments that Canadian life would be based on...what would they be? I'm a Canadian and I want to know, okay? Canadians AND non-Canadians are welcome to participate in composing this list. Don't hold back, please! I want to hear every silly and demeaning stereotype there is in people's minds about Canadians. Even the really insulting ones. Yesiree. Go for broke. What goofy thoughts, what extremely unlikely mythology pops instantly into your mind when you hear the word "Canada"? This thread is in response to the "10 Commandments - West Virginia style" thread. It's hardly fair that Wes Ginny should get ALL the attention and abuse after all, is it? Let's give Canada a go... |
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11 May 07 - 01:19 PM (#2049334) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Mrrzy 1) Hey, let's be nice, eh? 2-10: See #1 |
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11 May 07 - 01:26 PM (#2049336) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: artbrooks Now, LH - why should anyone say anything negative about Canada? Certain Canadians (and Canadiennes) perhaps. OK, Mrzzy started. 2) Never say anything good about the nation to the south, except for an occasional comment about the weather. |
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11 May 07 - 01:29 PM (#2049340) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Ebbie #2 - Subset: Not debatable. Everybody knows that the US is to blame. For everything. |
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11 May 07 - 01:29 PM (#2049342) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: beardedbruce Don't half of them have to be in French? |
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11 May 07 - 01:35 PM (#2049347) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: frogprince Nope; all of them have to be in both French and English. In Quebec, the French has to be first, in larger print. |
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11 May 07 - 01:36 PM (#2049349) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: beardedbruce ok |
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11 May 07 - 01:38 PM (#2049350) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Terry McDonald Doesn't it have to be Québec? |
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11 May 07 - 01:39 PM (#2049355) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Midchuck All fiddle tunes shall be played in the key of "eh." Peter |
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11 May 07 - 01:42 PM (#2049357) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk Well, I want all the stuff, eh? Both the negative stuff AND the positive stuff. To succeed in assembling here all the myths and ludicrous stereotypes about Canada and Canadians will be of benefit to future generations of Canadian comedians, because believe you me...this is a country that dearly loves making fun of itself, and that's why so many top comedians have come from Canada and later found a lucrative niche in Hollywood. Rich Little. John Candy. Dan Akroyd. Catherine O'Hara. Tommy Chong. Wayne and Shuster. Jim Carrey. Dave Thomas. Rick Moranis. Eugene Levy. Andrea Martin. And many others whose names I can't quite dredge up at the moment. "Hey, let's be nice, eh?" is definitely one of the top Canadian 10 Commandments. Good contribution, Mrrzy. |
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11 May 07 - 01:45 PM (#2049362) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: artbrooks Je ne sui Francophone - es Quebec, et le "Que" rime avec "twee". |
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11 May 07 - 01:46 PM (#2049364) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: artbrooks Are these people Mudcatters, LH? I don't recognize any of the names. |
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11 May 07 - 01:48 PM (#2049365) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Wesley S "Rich Little. John Candy. Dan Akroyd. Catherine O'Hara. Tommy Chong. Wayne and Shuster. Jim Carrey. Dave Thomas. Rick Moranis. Eugene Levy. Andrea Martin." Don't they all live and work in America now? |
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11 May 07 - 01:48 PM (#2049366) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk "Nope; all of them have to be in both French and English. In Quebec, the French has to be first, in larger print." LOL! Right flippin' on, Frogprince. I deal a lot with UPS in my business. They used to have their phone-in headquarters based in Nova Scotia. The recorded message would inform you, first in English, then in French, that you press "1" to proceed in English, "2" to proceed in French. Then they moved the offices to Quebec. The recorded message now informs you, first in French, then in English, that you press "1" to proceed in French, "2" to proceed in English. And so the beat goes on in bilingual Canada... Thank God we are not officially tri-lingual or quadri-lingual...like Switzerland. |
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11 May 07 - 01:54 PM (#2049369) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk You gotta be kidding, Art! Where have you been living, in a cave in Antarctica? Yeah, Wesley, of course they all live in America now! That's where the lion's share of the money and the work is if you're in that business (the entertainment business). It's in Hollywood, California. If you wanna "make it" to the bigtime then that's where you go. William Shatner lives in America now too for the same reason...but he often visits his old Canadian haunts. Neil Young likewise lives in America for the same reason, as do Buffy Sainte-Marie and Joni Mitchell. Ian Tyson, bless his heart, still lives in the Canadian West, however, although he used to get down to rodeos in Nevada and Montana a lot. |
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11 May 07 - 01:58 PM (#2049374) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: artbrooks I must include my own list of notable and important Canadians: Stan and Garnet Rogers, Mary Jane Lamond, Yves and France Moreau, the kids in Great Big Sea and the Cotters, Ian and Sylvia Tyson (together and singularly). |
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11 May 07 - 01:58 PM (#2049375) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Wesley S I can understand why the talented ones move to America - but what's up with Shatner? Is he in exile? |
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11 May 07 - 02:00 PM (#2049377) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: artbrooks No talent? |
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11 May 07 - 02:04 PM (#2049381) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk Don't pretend not to see genius where it reposes in such a grand and blatantly obvious fashion, Wesley. Boy, we aren't doing too well on those 10 Canadian Commandments, are we? |
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11 May 07 - 02:33 PM (#2049404) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Ebbie A traveling songwriter I know reported that 'Canadians are just like Americans - without guns. The one unpleasant trait that I perceive in Canadians is that of victimhood. For instance, complaining about the 'Americans taking over Canada', as evidenced by the McNuts and the WalNuts. They refuse to acknowledge that it is Canadians who brought those franchises in, and who are making a profit from it. It is easier to just blame the Americans. I don't know how to make it into a commandment though. |
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11 May 07 - 02:34 PM (#2049407) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Mrrzy 1) Let's be nice, eh? / Soyons sympa, eh? 2) It isn't cold / Il ne fait pas froid 3) Let it snow / Qu'il neige 4) Don't fret / T'inquiete pas 5) It's all good / Ca va, ca va 6) What, me worry? / Qui, moi? 7) Happy hunting / Bonne chasse 8) Don't overeat / Laisse-moi un peu de poutine 9) Don't fall down drunk / Encore une 10) Check out them Northern Lights / T'as vu l'aurore? |
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11 May 07 - 02:36 PM (#2049410) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Peace The view looks the same to everyone except the lead dog. |
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11 May 07 - 02:41 PM (#2049416) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Seiri Omaar What about Franglais? |
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11 May 07 - 02:56 PM (#2049428) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: mg don't walk on the slob ice |
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11 May 07 - 03:09 PM (#2049435) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk Ho! Ho! Lovely. Mrrzy in particular has pretty well got it covered. Here's one the Toronto Star used to do all the time as the quintessential example of Canadian small talk: "Mild, isn't it?" |
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11 May 07 - 03:25 PM (#2049443) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: wysiwyg 1. Hockey. 2. More hockey in Canadia can't be bad. ~S~ |
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11 May 07 - 03:43 PM (#2049447) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Wolfgang quadri-lingual...like Switzerland Hmm. Even their fourth and smallest language, Rumantsch, actually consists of at least three rather different languages. And their French (and German similarly) consists of two languages. One is the French as people learn it in school and the French Swiss would use it being polite when talking to a Swiss German, the other is Walon. The link can give those who understand French an idea how far Walon is from French. To the 10 commandements of Canada I would add: The bear's always right. Wolfgang |
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11 May 07 - 03:55 PM (#2049455) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Mrrzy L'ours a toujours raison. |
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11 May 07 - 04:12 PM (#2049462) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Ed 1)You are from Canada first, your province second* (applies only to Ontario, for others you are from your province first, Canada second). 2 A Maple leaf gives safe passage 3) Respect diversity (does not apply to your street) 4) Don't annoy the americans, 5) Reward those do not work (pogey) 6) Be kind to criminmals (life means 5 years) 7)Honour the royals (except in Quebec)) 8) If it isn't in a shopping mall, it does not exist 9)Keep politicts boring, to lure more lawyers 10) Smile in winter, as if you enjoy it |
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11 May 07 - 04:16 PM (#2049463) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk More good stuff! Beauty, eh? ;-) Here's another: Try to pretend Canadian history is exciting...at least while you're taking the course. |
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11 May 07 - 04:24 PM (#2049465) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Ed 11) Always remind Americans that some famous American entertainers were born in Canada:)) |
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11 May 07 - 04:47 PM (#2049479) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Peace Tell people who who ask whether or not we all live in igloos that yes, we do. |
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11 May 07 - 04:52 PM (#2049484) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Ed When in the USA when asked where you live, reply, above the tree line |
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11 May 07 - 04:58 PM (#2049488) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: frogprince Be sure there's enough gas in the Skidoo. |
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11 May 07 - 05:00 PM (#2049490) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk Don't test how cold it is outside by putting your tongue on the flagpole. |
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11 May 07 - 05:46 PM (#2049510) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Peace Tell me that NOW! |
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11 May 07 - 06:17 PM (#2049521) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Peace Don't eat the yellow snow. |
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11 May 07 - 06:17 PM (#2049522) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Mrrzy 1) On est canadien d'abords, habitants apres (si habitant l'ontario; pour tout autre c'est le contraire. 2 Une feuille d'erable donne passage libre. 3) Acceptez les autres (sauf les voisins). 4) Embetez pas les americains. 5) Recompensez les chaumeurs /(pogey)?/ 6) Cotisez les malfaisasnts (vie en prison n'est que 5 ans) 7)Saluez les royaux (sauf le Quebec) 8) Si s'est pas sans un strip, caa n'existe pas 9) Gardez l'ennui dans la politique, ca attire les avocats 10) Souriez en hiver, tout comme l'aimant |
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11 May 07 - 06:31 PM (#2049530) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Rapparee Try to be polite when asked, "How much is that in REAL money?" |
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11 May 07 - 06:32 PM (#2049531) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk Are you this good at French or are you using Babelfish or something? I'm no good at all at French, because most of my schooling was in New York State, and I elected to take Spanish and Latin instead. |
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11 May 07 - 07:49 PM (#2049581) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: bobad Thou shalt not covet thy neighboUrs two-four...eh! Covetez pas le two-four de votre n'est beurre....anh! |
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11 May 07 - 07:50 PM (#2049582) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: artbrooks Ques-que two-four? |
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11 May 07 - 07:53 PM (#2049586) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Lonesome EJ 9) Hold the salsa and double up on the boiled potatoes |
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11 May 07 - 08:02 PM (#2049591) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: bobad Two-four |
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11 May 07 - 08:15 PM (#2049599) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Ed Make it a Double, double to go, with a toasted everything. |
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11 May 07 - 08:35 PM (#2049610) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Metchosin 10a. Never vote for anything, always vote agin it. |
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11 May 07 - 11:19 PM (#2049679) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Dickey When I think of Canada I am always reminded of Lucky Pierre, the man in the middle. |
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12 May 07 - 03:14 AM (#2049730) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: dianavan Thou shalt use only real maple syrup Thou shalt fuck around Thou shalt smoke B.C. bud Thou shalt protect the environment Thou shalt wear toques not hats Thou shalt sit on Chesterfields, not Davenports Thou shalt be politically correct at all times Thou shalt be bilingual, at least Thou shalt cross the floor without shame |
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12 May 07 - 03:58 AM (#2049738) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: sian, west wales Commit unwaveringly to the One True Pronunciation of "about". sian |
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12 May 07 - 04:27 AM (#2049744) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Van lingle No insults here, I love Cana-duh :) |
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12 May 07 - 07:35 AM (#2049847) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: *daylia* Oh please, no more flippin commandments! WE are already the most over-legislated people on the planet, with more laws per capita than any other nation! So how bout thou shalt NOT place any more flippin laws before me, eh!?! |
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12 May 07 - 07:44 AM (#2049855) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: *daylia* Oops, better toe the lawful line here, so... Ne placez pas de lois plus damnées avant moi. Salut! :-) |
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12 May 07 - 07:50 AM (#2049858) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: *daylia* Oh, and always remember ... Mangez un castor - sauvent un arbre. |
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12 May 07 - 10:23 AM (#2049943) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Alice On winter vacation in Mexico, make sure natives know you are Canadian, not gringo. |
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12 May 07 - 10:26 AM (#2049948) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk In fact, do that when on vacation just about anywhere. |
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12 May 07 - 10:31 AM (#2049950) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Rapparee Covetez pas le two-four de votre n'est beurre....anh! Don't covet the two-four of your is not butter??????????????????? Quelle dommage ma voisin n'est pas du beurre! J'ai plein du pain.... Ou, est-que votre voisin Madame du Beurre-y, peut-etre? |
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12 May 07 - 10:35 AM (#2049953) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Big Brother Don Hey, man....two-fours are gettin' too expensive for most people now. It's a flippin' drag, eh? I wonder how the little brother is doin' on his love quest? - Don McBride |
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12 May 07 - 01:13 PM (#2050039) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Mrrzy For "n'est beurre" think Un petit d'un petit, as in the following Mots d'Heure, Gousses, Rames: Un petit d'un petit s'etonne aux Halles Un petit d'un petit a degre te falle Indolent qui ne sorcesse Indolent qui ne se mene Qu'importe un petit d'un petit Tout gai de Regainnes. |
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12 May 07 - 01:13 PM (#2050040) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: bobad You're right Rap that shoulda been "nez beurre." |
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12 May 07 - 04:42 PM (#2050155) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Alain Thebault, the mad trapper Bad things happen elsewhere (the USA,) not here] When travelling, make say you are not american. Wait your turn, No rush, why stress out, if not today, tomorrow Poutine and Donairs are Canadian gourmet foods Windshield antifreeze is a 12 month affair Everyone knows We made the ski doo and the Canada arm Guns kill people, not us Quebec girlie bars rule Tax, tax, and tax again Nirvana is retire and become a snowbird |
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12 May 07 - 09:43 PM (#2050314) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: heric "In the mid-1990s, steadily rising prices rendered the two-four unattainable for all but the most affluent" I can just imagine reading the society pages. . . |
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13 May 07 - 12:00 PM (#2050693) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Dickey In case anybody here is not aware of it, there is a great collection of Canadian MIDIs with lyrics sequenced by Barry Taylor of Victoria, British Columbia, The Great Canadian Tunebook, Here: http://members.shaw.ca/tunebook/nojavascript.htm |
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13 May 07 - 01:25 PM (#2050733) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Willie-O # whatever: We are the greatest people on earth due to our self-deprecating sense of humour. W-O |
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13 May 07 - 02:00 PM (#2050752) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Ebbie #More Whatever. They are also the most humble. |
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13 May 07 - 02:03 PM (#2050753) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Peace Well, for sure with only ten commandments, people are gonna feel left out. British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, Newfoundland, Yukon, Northwest Territories and Nunavut: we need thirteen commandments. |
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13 May 07 - 02:24 PM (#2050774) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk At LEAST 13, eh? Never shake yer beer bottle when the beer is warm. |
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13 May 07 - 04:24 PM (#2050862) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Bee Thou shalt not drive thine four-wheeler up on the wife's flowerbeds in winter just because you can. Thou shalt not pee in the snow just before maple syrup candy season. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's frost hardy perennials. Snowmobiles are still not legal on the highway if you drive in the middle where all the snow is, thou shalt be apprehended and fined. Thou shalt not serve really bad home-made beer and then make everyone use the camp outhouse. Drink Keiths'. Thou shalt wear six layers of clothing from October unto June; yea verily shalt thou wear polyester-cotton, wool, jersey, more wool, quilted layer, and down in that order, and thou shalt wear a tuque on thy head. Well, it's a start. |
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13 May 07 - 08:22 PM (#2051015) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: heric "Top Ten" Commandments - gleaned from above. To recap with my faves: Thou shalt wear a tuque and anorak in humility before God Thou shalt not walk on slob ice Thou art from Canada first, your province second* (applies only to Ontario, for others thou art from your province first, Canada second) Be sure there's enough gas in the Skidoo Thou shalt have no other gods but expatriates in entertainment Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's two-four On winter vacation, make sure locals know you are Canadian güero (to impress them) Thou shalt talk green and buy bottled water and farmed salmon Thou shalt not covet the two-four of your brother's can't believe it's not butter Thou shalt not put your tongue on the flagpole |
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13 May 07 - 08:38 PM (#2051021) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: artbrooks But don't forget, since Canadians are better than us mere mortals, they get three extra. |
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13 May 07 - 09:18 PM (#2051037) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: heric You have to pay more than 50% of your gross income for ten years before the others can be revealed. I will neither confirm nor deny the spurious rumour that one of them concerns how many swings you can take at a seal puppy's head. |
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13 May 07 - 11:17 PM (#2051092) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Eduard !) What's the deal with the bilgy stuff they call USA beer? 2) If you are east of Quebec, does it make you a newfie? 3) We walk a mile for a beaver (beaver tail is something you eat). 4) Frost burn sex 5) Trunk shovels 6) Salt stained shoes and pants 7) National TV channel, the Weather Network 8) Dodging frost bumps and pot holes a national pass time 9) The Canadian side of Niagra falls rules 10) The glorious sound of early morning windshield scraping |
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14 May 07 - 12:05 AM (#2051112) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Peace "But don't forget, since Canadians are better than us mere mortals, they get three extra." I was thinking more along the lines of one for each province and one for each territory. However, your reason sounds better. Thanks. |
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14 May 07 - 07:20 AM (#2051337) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: 3refs #1-Keep your stick on the ice! |
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14 May 07 - 07:31 AM (#2051341) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: 3refs Exception for rule #1-unless your playing against Goldie Goldthorpe! |
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14 May 07 - 04:01 PM (#2051686) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Edourd A puzzle to me: Canadian beer and spirits are often seen as desirable, because of Canada's reputation for cold, clean water. So, why the popularity of Corona? Is it due to Mexico's reputation for abundant clean water? |
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14 May 07 - 05:50 PM (#2051743) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk I think Corona is popular mainly because it's Mexican. That makes it exotic and exciting. You can imagine yourself down in Mexico when you drink it, sitting in some little cafe and growling in a Pancho Villa type voice, "Dos servezas mas!" as the waiter looks your way. It's an inexpensive foreign fantasy for all to enjoy, eh? ;-) |
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14 May 07 - 06:09 PM (#2051766) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: artbrooks And besides, all them Canadian wimmin hanker for them Messican men. |
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14 May 07 - 08:03 PM (#2051838) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Bert Thou shalt have an East Indian Grocery Store in every town. |
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14 May 07 - 08:46 PM (#2051877) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,Big Brother Don And a flippin' Chinese chop Sooey joint! And a gas station that is run by a fambly from India or Pakestan. - Don McBride |
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15 May 07 - 03:31 PM (#2052645) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: gnu Keep yer stick on the ice. Keep yer head up. Don't mess with the goalie. Don't let the ref catch you doin that. Don't argue with the ref. Don't be late fer practice. Don't drink until after the game. Keep yer skates sharp and yer laces tight. Never ferget yer cup. Stop the puck first and worry about the pain later. Amen. |
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15 May 07 - 06:32 PM (#2052883) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Dickey A pome that we used to recite in high school comes to mind: WARNING ADUKT CONTENT! TGHOSE UNDER !* QUIT READING IMMEDIATELY! The Ballad of Big-Ass Lil and Yukon Pete--John "Dr. Dirty" Valby Grab your glass and get your seat, And I'll tell you about Big-Ass Lil and Yukon Pete! Now, Lil was the village queen, The fuckinest hoar you'd ever seen. While some girls fucked with grace and ease, Lil blew dick like the summer breeze. But when she fucked, she fucked for keeps, She piled her victims up in heaps. There was a rumor 'round that town, That no man could put Lil's ass down. But way up north, where twin rivers meet, Lived a one-balled half-breed, name Yukon Pete! Pete was a dirty, motherless soul, Who fucked bears, sheep and woodchuck holes. He got a whip for Big-Ass Lil, Packed up his rubbers, and came down the hill. He strode into town on size 32 feet, Dragging sixteen yards of that red-hot meat! Well, the scene was set at windy mill, By the brick shithouse, high on the hill. All the ladies came for a ringside seat, Just to watch that half-breed sink his meat. Well, they fucked, and they fucked, and they fucked for hours, Uprooting trees, shrubs and flowers. Lil did front flips, back flips, stunts All unknown to most common cunts. But Pete caught on to every trick, And kept on pumping in more dick! Then Lil gave Pete a hoarhouse squeeze That brought that half-breed to his knees. But Pete came back with a Yukon grunt That popped out her eyes, and split her cunt! Well, Lil rolled over, cut two farts and sighed: "Boys, I've been fucked," cut one more, and died. When they asked that half-breed of his amazing feat, He just said, "Boys, I'm going back to the Yukon, and beat my meat. |
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15 May 07 - 06:38 PM (#2052887) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Little Hawk Good lord. I wonder how long that post will survive. |
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15 May 07 - 06:39 PM (#2052889) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Peace That should be a LYR ADD. |
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15 May 07 - 06:59 PM (#2052905) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Dickey My warning was atrocious. I appologize. But Hey, it is a ballad. Perhaps there is a tune to go along. |
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15 May 07 - 07:04 PM (#2052907) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: artbrooks Carricfergus? Or maybe Rosin the Bow - hell, everything else is done to that. |
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15 May 07 - 07:09 PM (#2052909) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Jeri It may be a version of Poor Lil? (There's a 'Click to Play', but the MIDI's no werk.) That's adukt content as well. |
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15 May 07 - 11:09 PM (#2053067) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST Let "er rip! |
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16 May 07 - 12:37 AM (#2053153) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,leeneia Well, LH, I can't help you with any stereotypes, etc. I have little experience of Canada. I haven't been there since 1970. I did enjoy the trip, which was a drive around Lake Superior. If you read mysteries, I recommend the novels about Benny Cooperman, the Canadian sleuth. I believe they are by Dean Kaplan. I like the way Benny is aware of the Niagara escarpment. Another Canadian I am aware of is Mimi Blais. She isn't fictional, she is an incredible ragtime pianist from Montreal. If you can ever catch a concert by her, do so. |
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16 May 07 - 12:44 AM (#2053158) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: GUEST,leeneia Here's a link to a picture of memorable Canadian place, the Ouimet Canyon. I saw it on that 1970 trip that I just mentioned. http://www.hickerphoto.com/ouimet-canyon-1034-pictures.htm |
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05 Sep 16 - 12:52 PM (#3808483) Subject: BS: 18 commandments, en francais From: keberoxu Well, this is not what you asked for. There are eighteen of these, not ten. 1. Le Chef a raison. 2. Le Chef a toujours raison. 3. Même si un subalterne a raison, les deux premières règles s'appliquent. 4. Le Chef ne dort pas, il se repose. 5. Le Chef ne mange pas, il se nourrit. 6. Le Chef ne boit pas, il déguste. 7. Le Chef n'est jamais en retard, il a été retenu ailleurs. 8. Le Chef ne prend jamais des libertés avec son secrétaire, il fait son éducation. 9. Le Chef ne quitte jamais son service, il a une réunion à l'extérieur. 10. Le Chef ne lit jamais son journal pendant le service, il s'enforme pour protéger l'entreprise et donc les emplois de tous. 11. Le Chef fait énormément des sacrifices pour ses subalternes; ils peuvent donc bien en faire en ou deux pour le Chef en retour. 12. Le Chef a le droit d'être toujours de mauvaise humeur et d'insulter ses subalternes; c'est dû à son stress de Chef. 13. On entre dans le bureau du Chef avec ses idées personnelles, on en ressort avec les idées du Chef. 14. Le Chef est toujours le Chef, même en calecon de bain. 15. Plus on critique le Chef, moins on a des primes. 16. Ne jamais oublier que le Chef est obligé de penser pour tout le monde. 17. Seul le Chef a une vision globale de l'entreprise. 18. Si vous avez un doute, conformez-vous à la règle numéro 1. from "L'encyclopédie des blagues", de divers auteurs |
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05 Sep 16 - 07:01 PM (#3808535) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Airymouse Honor thy neighbor as thyself, and if you build a wall along the border to keep him out, do not make him pay for it. |
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05 Sep 16 - 07:17 PM (#3808536) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: bobad Lâche pas la patate. |
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05 Sep 16 - 07:44 PM (#3808541) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: gnu Bobad... yep. And... keep yer stick on the ice. |
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06 Sep 16 - 11:46 AM (#3808655) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: mkebenn From an American. If you brought it up here and didn,t sell it, take it home. Mike |
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06 Sep 16 - 08:24 PM (#3808732) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Mrrzy And what about poutine, eh? |
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06 Sep 16 - 08:36 PM (#3808734) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Donuel I always thought of Canada as the default heroes of humanitarian rescue or supporters of human rights and sanctuary, especially when the USA turns its back for political and military reasons. Canadians make claims that sound better than they are. Like Grape pie is really just raisons. |
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07 Sep 16 - 07:29 PM (#3808871) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Donuel But mostly nothing ever happens in Canada |
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08 Sep 16 - 02:55 AM (#3808888) Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada??? From: Mr Red #1 end every sentence with "eh?" this compares with the stereotypical "look you?" of generic Wales which was firmly corrected in Monmouth (pronounced Munmuth) by a GF as "look see?". In Worcestershire we only "look?". In Spanish (Castillian) you hear a "no?" - no? In NZ it is often "Or! Yea". In Oz they just inflect "?". In the Northampton (pronounced Norfamton) you are "me duck". let us just call it verbal punctuation - eh? |