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09 Jun 07 - 09:47 PM (#2072541) Subject: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: GUEST,Wendy J I was crewing a boat up the Duwamish River in Seattle yesterday, and chatted with the Captain about my time on a ship in the Mississippi. I told how I would sing "Old Man River" while making my watch rounds, and then the conversation went into political correctness. This is the result. ^^ Elderly Person River With apologies to Messrs. Kern and Hammerstein by Wendy Joseph 2007 Elderly Person River You Elderly Person River You have cognition But are verbally challenged You merely continue Merely continue to transit You do not cultivate Tuberosum or gossypium And the cultivators Are deleted files-um But Elderly Person River You merely continue to transit You and I perspire and exert Corporal affliction, vibrating with discomfort Convey that vessel, elevate that merchandise Become inebriated and incarcerated I become fatigued And diseased from endeavoring Exhausted of existence And frightened of expiring But Elderly Person River You merely continue to transit Original: "Old Man River," from SHOWBOAT (1927) by Jerome Kern and Oscar Hammerstein II (Elongated intro:) Here we all work 'long the Mississippi Here we all work while the white folk play Pullin' them boats from the dawn till sunset Gettin' no rest till the judgment day Don't look up and don't look down Ya don't dast make the white boss frown Bend your knees and bow your head And pull that rope until you're dead Let me go 'way from the Mississippi Let me go 'way from the white man boss Show me that stream called the River Jordan That's the old stream that I long to cross (End of intro) Ol' Man River, that Ol' Man River He must know somepin', but he don't say nothin' He just keeps rollin', he keeps on rollin' along He don't plant taters, and he don't plant cotton And them what plants 'em is soon forgotten But Ol' Man River, jest keeps rollin' along You and me, we sweat and strain Bodies all achin' and wracked with pain Tote that barge and lift that bale Ya get a little drunk and ya lands in ja-ail I gets weary and so sick of tryin' I'm tired of livin', but I'm feared of dyin' And Ol' Man River, he just keeps rollin' along |
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09 Jun 07 - 09:52 PM (#2072544) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: Leadfingers Check out Stan Freberg ! He did this fifty years ago !! |
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09 Jun 07 - 10:05 PM (#2072555) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: GUEST,Wendy J Checked him out. This could turn into PC research. Robeson objected to the original lyrics, as they contained the "n" word, and apparently Hammerstein changed them. |
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09 Jun 07 - 10:26 PM (#2072569) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: The Fooles Troupe Can we find the 'original' lyrics objected to? |
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10 Jun 07 - 10:15 AM (#2072840) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: Willie-O I like "Senior River". It flows better. Not that your version isn't wonderful, just that in my mind a correct--I mean, alternatively acceptable--number of syllables that fits the metre of the original song is an equally valid choice. OK, I'll stop now. Except to say... About 10 or 15 years ago there was a huge controversy in Toronto the Good concerning some peoples' objections to a production of "Showboat" due to allegations that it stereotyped black people and made their past a spectator sport, or whatever. These folks formed "The Coalition To Stop Showboat", which struck me as the hugest waste of activist energy in the history of Toronto. One of them got the "Bonehead Media Comment" of the year when she suggested publically that shows offensive to black people are usually promoted by Jews. Way to stop racism in its tracks, lady! "Showboat" went ahead, and ironically a few years later the promoter of the show, Garth Drabinsky, went to jail for massive show-biz financial fraud. But I don't believe presenting "Showboat" was part of the case against him... If it was good enough for Paul Robeson (after he fixed the lyrics he didn't like), it's OK by me! W-O |
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10 Jun 07 - 10:34 AM (#2072849) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: Cool Beans The Stan Freberg version began: Elderly Man River, That Elderly Man River, He must know something, But he doesn't say anything... |
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10 Jun 07 - 10:45 AM (#2072855) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: Leadfingers Perhaps I ought to dig out the recording and do a transcript . I Do remember that Stan starts with a Rebel Yell in honour of Mississippi Paddle Boat Paddle Wheel Week and is then interrupted by Mr Tweedly of the Citizens Radio Censor Bureau who is there to censor his Radio programme! |
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10 Jun 07 - 09:53 PM (#2073289) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: The Fooles Troupe LF The full text is readily available on the web in several places. |
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11 Jun 07 - 12:33 AM (#2073331) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: Genie Yes, Stan's version began with the censors objecting to lyrics like "Old man" (derogatory to the elderly), "He don't plant ... " (setting an example of bad grammar for the young), and "get a little drunk ..." (also setting a bad example for the kiddies) and ended up with such gems as "Elderly man river, that elderly man river, He mus' .. must know somethin' ... something, But he don't ... er ... doesn't say nothin' ... er ... anything. He jes' ... just keeps rollin' ... rolling, he keeps on rolling along. He doesn't plant taters ... potatoes, He doesn't plant cotten ... cotting, And them ... those that plants ... plant them Is... are ... soon forgotting ... LOL |
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11 Jun 07 - 12:53 AM (#2073335) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: The Fooles Troupe Actually, posting just the "sung" words rips the guts out of this classic masterpiece. It totally blows the brilliant timing and gags. It also destroys the enjoyment of the whole piece when you finally get to hear it, like 'spoiling' jokes by giving the punchlines in advance, or the ending of mystery novels or movies. Which is why I didn't post "the words" in the first place. It really should be listened to. It also diminishes the piece, making it look like there are only two "verses", when the whole piece is about much more socially than just the sung words. I note that there are 'complete pieces' of the item on the web in text form, but even that loses much. It's really like someone asking "Where are all the jokes on Mudcat", when most of the best humour is contained in the middle of many otherwise serious threads, often as jokes only the educated in the various fields of music will appreciate. Another rant from Robin (Indignant Wordsmith!) |
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11 Jun 07 - 01:08 AM (#2073341) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: Joe Offer There's a discussion of various versions of "Old Man River here (click). -Joe Offer- |
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11 Jun 07 - 01:10 AM (#2073343) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Elderly Person River From: mrdux here's the clip from the 1957 radio broadcast. click on "CBS Censor." it's very funny. |