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Lyr Req: Granny's Old Armchair (from Frank Crumit)

11 Apr 99 - 11:37 PM (#70067)
Subject: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: GeneM

Need lyrics" It's about a grandmother who left money and property to her grandchildren and left her favorite an old arm chair. the child kept it for years until one day it broke down. one verse goes and then to my surprise what befell before my eyes. a hundred notes, a thousand pounds or more. No more they tittered no more they chaffed, no more my brothers and sisters laughed, when they heard that lawyer declare, Granny has left you just her old arm chair.

Alternate lyrics here
most importantly here
Old Brown Pants parody here

12 Apr 99 - 03:10 AM (#70101)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: Joe Offer

Hi, Gene - we found that one a while back - click here for the information.
-Joe Offer-

12 Apr 99 - 03:12 AM (#70102)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: catspaw49

You are absolutely NO FUN Joe!!!!!

catspaw (laughing uproariously)

12 Apr 99 - 03:18 AM (#70104)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: catspaw49

C'mon Joe...Flush the other one too...It's not worth saving!

catspaw(still laughing)

12 Apr 99 - 03:46 AM (#70109)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: Joe Offer

Hey, Catspaw, I suppose the sideshow is OK, but the poor guy just wanted a SONG. It's a pretty good song, too, one of those old, sloppy, sentimental ones where the good guy actually wins.

Multiple threads and multiple postings happen to the best of us. If you jump all over a new Mudcat visitor for making a simple mistake, you'll scare him away. Why?
-Joe Offer-

12 Apr 99 - 03:51 AM (#70112)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: catspaw49

Well I am sorry Joe, but I didn't post on his request did I? I left it alone on purpose. Again, my apologies.

catspaw

12 Apr 99 - 11:38 AM (#70216)
Subject: Lyr Add: GRANDMOTHER'S CHAIR
From: Cuilionn

I micht hae foond what ye're luikin' for, in an auld buik ca'd "The Victorian Dulcimer" by Rosamond Campbell. It lists th' sang as bein' wrichten in 1882, an' th' notes declare that th' sang, "came to us from Missouri via the British music hall." Ms. Campbell alsae notes that, "I have discovered a parallel song probably originating in Indiana called "Grandfather's Old Brown Pants." In this version, money rolls from the waistband of the trousers when they are cut up to make a rag rug."

Here's th' lyrics for ye, an' dinnae fear: they're no' in Braid Scots ava'. I'm nae guid at th' fancy HTML wairk, sae ye'll hae tae bide an' bear wi' ma puir formattin'.

GRANDMOTHER'S CHAIR (words & music by Read)

My grandmother she at the age of eighty-three
One day in May was taken ill and died,
And after she was dead, the will of course was read
By a lawyer as we all stood by his side.
To my brother, it was found, she had left a hundred pounds,
The same unto my sister, I declare.
But when it came to me, the lawyer said, "I see,
She has left to you her old arm-chair."

CHORUS: And how they tittered; how they chaffed
How my brother and sister laughed
When they heard the lawyer declare
Granny had only left to me the old armchair.

I thought it hardly fair; still I said I didn't care,
And in the evening took the chair away.
My sister at me laughed; my brother at me chaffed,
And said, "It will be useful, John, some day."
When you settle down in life, get some girl to be your wife,
You'll find it very handy, I declare;
On a cold and frosty night, when the fire is burning bright,
To be seated in the old armchair. (CHORUS)

What my brother said was true, for in a year or two,
Strange to say, I settled down in married life;
I first a girl did court, and then a ring I bought,
Took her to church, and then she was my wife.
This dear old girl and me were as happy as could be,
And when my work was over, I declare,
I ne'er abroad would roam, but each night would stay at home,
And be seated in the old armchair. (CHORUS)

One night the chair fell down; when I picked it up I found
The seat had fallen out upon the floor;
And there to my surprise I saw before my eyes
A lot of notes-- ten thousand pounds or more.
When my brother heard of this, the fellow, I confess,
Went nearly mad with rage, and tore his hair;
But I only laughed at him, and slyly whispered, "Jim,
Don't you wish you had the old armchair?"

--Cuilionn, whae (alas!) disnae hae ony armchair o' her ain.

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 8-Mar-02.

12 Apr 99 - 11:46 AM (#70219)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: Roger the zimmer

Recorded by Frank Crumit, I'm sure (he also recorded the immortal ditty "The man who sold insurance" - my father (who did) would shy a slipper at the wireless when it came on!)

12 Apr 99 - 11:47 AM (#70220)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: Cuilionn

I aye checkit t'ither discussion tae which Joe sae kindly posted a link, but went aheid an' decidit tae type in th' lyrics an' notes frae ma buik, since they're a wee bit different an' th' notes add tae th' ither discussion... D'ye think I ocht tae post th' aboon note tae that thread as weel, or jist leave it here?

--Cuilionn

12 Apr 99 - 11:55 AM (#70224)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: catspaw49

Zimmer...it doesn't seem to be in the DT, but do you have the words to the Man Who Sold Insurance...sounds funnier and very useable.

catspaw

PS...Here is fine Cuilionn, and thanks.

13 Apr 99 - 04:22 AM (#70499)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: Roger the zimmer

Catspaw, I'll have a rummage through my songbooks but I don't think I have the words, but I may have it on tape. My tapedeck is playing up at present but I'll post the words (not the tune, don't have the technology!) if I find them.

13 Apr 99 - 06:06 AM (#70518)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: Roger the zimmer

PS: Just looked Frank Crumit up on the All-Music Guide to see he died a month before I was born but his hits seem to have been posthumous and none current (all mid 1950s). Most of the titles I don't remember and have intriguing titles!

13 Apr 99 - 09:07 AM (#70548)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: catspaw49

Thanks Roger, I'll go dig around myself too. I know it ain't always folkie, but I get a kick out of songs like that...modern day is like Heywood Banks. He's a funny guy with a pleasantly bizarre sense of humor and very witty.

Anyway thanks for your help and feedback.

catspaw

13 Apr 99 - 09:36 AM (#70555)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: Roger the zimmer

...and Frank's songs include one about not knowing how old a prune was because it was always wrinkled... I must stop trying to remember these echose of childhood before they come with the straitjacket and screens. The thread on cockney songs has also revived memories (yore baby as gorn dahn the plugole" was very popular when I was a Boy Scout!). Mudcat is very good at this, you suddenly realise how many songs you know/knew! Two of his records are listed as "may be out of print" on UK records sites but not on CD Now. He did the golf one about "the little pill went rolling down the hill ...into the bunker", as well,he was very much in the laid back style of Leon Redbone. Roger

13 Apr 99 - 10:49 AM (#70563)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: Roger the zimmer

Haven't found the insurance song yet but the prune song and a wealth of similar daft ditties is on "Froggy's novelty song lyric collection" at http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/5109/Novintro.html 2 possible CD/cassette collections of Crumit perfomances are Song of the Prune (20 favourite..) and Mountain Greenery but only seem listed on "rare" & second hand record listings. Roger

13 Apr 99 - 01:16 PM (#70593)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: catspaw49

Far out...Thank you Roger!!!!

Let me give you a late model daft ditty songster site for a guy named Heywood Banks. You might like it.

catspaw

14 Apr 99 - 03:42 AM (#70809)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: Roger the zimmer

Catspaw, thanks. Sorry, a search of my cassettes etc failed to turn up the insurance song (unles it is on one of those vaguely labelled or unlabelled cassettes we all promise to sort out some day!). I'm still following up another line of enquiry & will report back if successful. I have seen a reference to "Frank Crumit's book of favourite songs" published in 1932 which migh turnmup in a second hand shop! Roger

14 Apr 99 - 03:47 AM (#70811)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: Steve Parkes

The Song of the Prune and A Mother's Lament (your baby has gone ...) are both on fairly recent threads, neither of which I can remember the name of, but you can search for them.

Steve

Ah - try "Norf and Sarf" thread.

15 Apr 99 - 03:52 AM (#71042)
Subject: Lyr Add: THERE'S NO ONE WITH ENDURANCE (LIKE...)^^
From: Roger the zimmer

Here you are, Catspaw: we information professionals never like to give up!

THERE'S NO ONE WITH ENDURANCE (LIKE THE MAN WHO SELLS INSURANCE)
(as recorded by Frank Crumit 1935)

I used to be as happy as a squirrel in a tree
Till a man who sold insurance made a nervous wreck of me
He followed me persistently and if I'm put away
That bird who sold insurance made me what I am today

CHORUS: (last 3 lines change)
For there's no-one with endurance
Like the man who sells insurance
He's everybody's best friend
He will follow you and fret you
But remember he will get you
For he gets us all in the end

In spite of every way I tried to leave him in the lurch
He chased me into subways and he followed me to church
I even spent a night in jail in my desire to hide
But in the morning George Insurance waited just outside

CHORUS:....he'll be sweeter than molasses
but when he puts on his glasses
well he gets us all in the end

One day at Coney Island when I went in for a swim
A man swam up beside me who was no-one else but him
Said he to me "I'm glad to see you love the ocean wave
But our 20-year endowment is the only way to save"

CHORUS:... he's always bright and snappy
and no wonder that he's happy
for he gets us all in the end

One day I saw him coming so I quickly climbed a tree
But George Insurance saw me too and he climbed up after me
Said he to me up in the tree: "I'm fond of nature too
But our 20-year endowment is the policy for you"

CHORUS:...and the harder that you make it
Believe me he can take it
For he gets us all in the end


Credit must be shared by my old friend Alan who taped this off his family 78 disk many years ago for me and to my wife who located it.( "If I'd known what you were looking for I could have told you last night where it was")

I'm glad I can contribute something at last other than bad jokes, to make up for what I've learned from other 'Catters.
Roger

Line Breaks added.
-Joe Offer-
^^

15 Apr 99 - 05:27 AM (#71048)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: catspaw49

Thanks so much Roger for all the work in the finding and posting.

catspaw

26 May 00 - 02:11 PM (#234395)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair
From: GUEST,Utah

Thank you for these lyrics!

17 Aug 09 - 11:27 PM (#2702815)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair (Crumit)
From: GUEST,mjm

my dads version went something like this---I was just a little boy, I was born in illinois, and me father shoveled horse shit on the street..at the age of 93 he decided that he'd up and die and he did..Oh how they dithered how they cried,all of me brothers and me sister Isable. They gave me the dickens when ever they had the chance. and all they left for me was the OLD BROWN PANTS. he had heard this as a boy 1920's

06 Mar 10 - 12:08 PM (#2857620)
Subject: RE: Granny has left me just her old arm chair (Crumit)
From: GUEST,roy

IVE GOT THE RECORD AND LOVE IT YOUR WORDS ARE EXACT

07 Jul 14 - 01:32 PM (#3639840)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Granny's Old Armchair (from Frank Crumit)
From: Desert Dancer

Frank Crumit recording on YoutTube

~ Becky in Long Beach

08 Jul 14 - 08:59 AM (#3640120)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Granny's Old Armchair (from Frank Crumit)
From: GUEST,JayOz

Hi there, could anyone help with the chords to play this song on ukulele ? Or know - if there were any music sheets published of this funny song

Many thanks.   J.