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20 Jul 07 - 03:39 PM (#2107787) Subject: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: JohnInKansas Bush will have colonoscopy 'The president has had no symptoms,' Snow says before Saturday procedure BREAKING NEWS The Associated Press Updated: 11:40 a.m. CT July 20, 2007 WASHINGTON President Bush will undergo a routine colonoscopy Saturday and temporarily hand presidential powers over to Vice President Dick Cheney, the White House said. Press secretary Tony Snow told reporters Friday that Bush will have the procedure done at his Camp David, Md., mountaintop retreat. He last underwent colorectal cancer surveillance on June 29, 2002. "As reported at the time and in subsequent physical exams, absent any symptoms, the president's doctor recommended repeat surveillance in approximately five years," Snow said. "The president has had no symptoms." The big question: Can we trust Cheney to give the powers back? Secondary question: Isn't this a step down for Cheney? John |
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20 Jul 07 - 03:41 PM (#2107790) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Wesley S At least they will have the chance to take a picture of the presidents brain during the procedure. |
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20 Jul 07 - 03:55 PM (#2107794) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Barry Finn If there's a leak there'll be no loss |
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20 Jul 07 - 03:58 PM (#2107795) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace So I guess that means he has health care coverage? |
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20 Jul 07 - 04:00 PM (#2107798) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Rapparee There is no way Cheney could keep it. And why would he want to? As you say, it's a step down. You don't suppose that when the colonscopy tube is withdrawn there will be a large sucking sound and W's head will come out along with it, do you? |
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20 Jul 07 - 04:01 PM (#2107799) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace I'd be willing to help with the procedure . . . . |
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20 Jul 07 - 04:01 PM (#2107800) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Rapparee Why are they doing this at Camp David instead of at Bethesda or Walter Reed? Are there better health care facilities there? |
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20 Jul 07 - 04:02 PM (#2107801) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace Hey, does anyone suppose they'll locate the heads of Stephen Harper or Tony Blair when the 'operation' taks place? |
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20 Jul 07 - 04:03 PM (#2107802) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace "Why are they doing this at Camp David instead of at Bethesda or Walter Reed? Are there better health care facilities there?" SSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH |
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20 Jul 07 - 04:07 PM (#2107805) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Don Firth Man, it is really difficult to refrain from adding to this thread! So much that could be said! So little bandwidth! Don Firth |
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20 Jul 07 - 04:10 PM (#2107807) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: GUEST, Ebbie We should probably all go to undisclosed locations. Just in case. |
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20 Jul 07 - 04:33 PM (#2107817) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace I wonder how the media will handle all this? In a quest to find the Lost Treasure of the Incas, the President of the United States will be undergoing a colonoscopy in an undisclosed location. White House insiders have spoken off the record to say that George Bush has received get well cards from a grateful nation and the odd 'bon voyage' or 'please write' from some people in California. Richard Cheney was wetting his lips and not licking his chops at the prospect of being the acting-President. Insiders say that he's been doing the job for six years or so and at least this way he'll get paid for it. To quote acting-President Cheney, President Bush will teach you all how to turn the other cheek." News at 11:00. |
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20 Jul 07 - 04:46 PM (#2107825) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace It doesn't change the way I've pictured him for years . . . . |
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20 Jul 07 - 04:53 PM (#2107828) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: GUEST, Ebbie Bruce! |
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20 Jul 07 - 04:58 PM (#2107832) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace Yeah, but somebody pulled the cork and now he's talking out of it! |
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20 Jul 07 - 05:24 PM (#2107843) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: harpmolly *trying furiousy to wash her brain out with soap* Thank you SO much for that. Eurrrgh. |
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20 Jul 07 - 05:31 PM (#2107846) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: JohnInKansas It is rumored that in observation of the established Administration practice of dictating to scientists and others at Federal Agencies regarding the results that their work is to find and the permissible limits on what they may report to the public, Mr. Cheney has spent the entire day with the attending physician in rehearsals of the post-op press conference that is anticipated following this procedure. Any suggestions of new ways to say OOPS! should be submitted ASAP. John |
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20 Jul 07 - 05:56 PM (#2107857) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: kendall Maybe he is still looking for those weapons of mass destruction? |
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20 Jul 07 - 05:58 PM (#2107858) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace LOL |
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20 Jul 07 - 06:25 PM (#2107866) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Bee-dubya-ell Bush should be under for about three hours. I figure that's about enough time for Cheney to declare martial law, suspend the Constitution, and declare all Democrats in Congress to be enemy combatants. Oh, and he can give his buddy Scooter a full pardon while he's at it. |
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20 Jul 07 - 06:26 PM (#2107867) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: PoppaGator Think they'll find his head up-in-there? |
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20 Jul 07 - 06:28 PM (#2107869) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace Sounds about right, BWL. But I think he'll also declare Iraq to be a National Historical Site and beef up the troop numbers after saying they are now Environmental Protection Agency officers. |
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20 Jul 07 - 06:28 PM (#2107870) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: GUEST, Ebbie JiK, perhaps a firm admonishment that we don't need it BIGGER. |
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20 Jul 07 - 06:57 PM (#2107889) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Sorcha You know, I seriously don't understand how these guys can actually live with themselves....or how their wives can live with them, assuming the wives know (or sense) the truth. I kinda think I know when MY husband is lying, or evading, or whatever it's called now. |
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20 Jul 07 - 07:45 PM (#2107906) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Bobert The real question is, so who takes Cheney's job??? That's the job to have as it seems that's Power Central in the orgaizational chart... |
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20 Jul 07 - 07:48 PM (#2107908) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Don Firth I remember back during the Republican convention in 2000 how, when George was speaking, every now and then, they'd put the camera on Laura. She sat there gazing at George with this beatific look of total adoration. I came to the conclusion at the time that the woman had the brain of a gerbil. Don Firth |
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20 Jul 07 - 07:48 PM (#2107909) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: katlaughing Nancy Pelosi? She's next in line after Cheney for the presidencey. Wonder how much MORE it is costing the tax payers to get a doctor to do a routine procedure on a Saturday. At least we know where the shrub'll be spending tonight...the porcelain throne is about his speed. |
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20 Jul 07 - 08:31 PM (#2107934) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Bobert Okay, here's an interesting question... What would happen if Dick Cheney was having ***the procedure***??? Would Bush actually be the real presidet fir a couple of hours??? Nevermind that one... I kinda like the idea of Nancy Pelosi having a couple hours of "signing statements"... Yeah, that would be a hoot... Bush wakes up and asks the doctor how things went and the Doc say's, "Fine, plus we're ouuta Iraq..." LOL... B~ |
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20 Jul 07 - 08:50 PM (#2107947) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp "I remember back during the Republican convention in 2000 how, when George was speaking, every now and then, they'd put the camera on Laura. She sat there gazing at George with this beatific look of total adoration." So? They all do that, don't they? Ain't that what the job of bein' a candidate's wife requires when the cameras are on? Whaddya expect her to do...roll her eyes? Yawn, grimace in disgust, and keep checkin' her watch? Smirk, and shake her head sadly? Fall asleep on the arm of her chair? - Chongo |
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20 Jul 07 - 09:09 PM (#2107954) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: heric Cheney could make Sunday a special day and declare domestic torture, just until Bush comes back. |
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20 Jul 07 - 09:29 PM (#2107963) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Bee-dubya-ell I kinda like the idea of Nancy Pelosi having a couple hours of "signing statements"... Yeah, how about she signs an executive order designating the Republican Party as a terrorist organization, with a five-year minimum sentence for being a member. |
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20 Jul 07 - 09:51 PM (#2107968) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Alba For roughly 120 odd minutes tomorrow I am going to very afraid. How long would it take to launch an attack on Iran? Not as long as 120 minutes that's for sure. |
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20 Jul 07 - 09:54 PM (#2107969) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Alba Should read "to BE very afraid."...see how this News is affecting me !!!! Jude :>) |
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20 Jul 07 - 11:17 PM (#2107993) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Don Firth Well, Chongo, old fuzzy-wuzzy, I've seen a similar phenomenon manifest itself at almost all the conventions, and on other occasions as well. But in Laura's case, there was a qualitative difference. It's not just that she was looking adoringly, it's that I've seen that same look on the face of a cocker spaniel. But not on Mamie Eisenhower, Jackie Kennedy, Lady-Bird Johnson, Pat Nixon, etc., etc., and not on the faces of Tipper Gore, Teresa Heinz Kerry, Elizabeth Edwards, Michelle Obama (Now, that lady is a real snort!), and others I can't think of right now. They displayed interest and support, but that schmaltzy, doe-eyed, "Oh, isn't he just adorable!?? And he's mine!!" look? No. They're a bit too intelligent and dignified for that sort of sappy look. Maybe you had to have been there. Don Firth (sometimes known as Swami Havabanana.) |
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20 Jul 07 - 11:29 PM (#2107996) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace Sorry folks, but Laura Bush ALWAYS seems to have a look like she's just been smacked on the back of the head by a ballpeen hammer. Here she is holding some kid who's doing what her husband can't. |
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20 Jul 07 - 11:52 PM (#2108002) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: John on the Sunset Coast My great fear is that during the President's procedure, the VP will have his annual heart problem and Nancy Pelosi will be in charge. In fact, I think I can see her licking her lips at the prospect. What havoc I believe she could wreck! lol |
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20 Jul 07 - 11:57 PM (#2108004) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Joe Offer During my all-too-recent colonoscopy, I did not relinquish what little control I have over Mudcat. But Bush is going to pass on the presidency during his procedure? What a woos!!! (however you spell it) I wonder how Bush is going to get around the double enema I had to get beforehand.... -Joe, a manlier man than Bush- |
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21 Jul 07 - 12:01 AM (#2108006) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: heric LOL. TWO litres? That's nothing! Women like a man who can hold his barium sulfate. |
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21 Jul 07 - 12:01 AM (#2108007) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace Bush has way more enemas than two, Joe. |
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21 Jul 07 - 12:04 AM (#2108008) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Well, Don, you may be right. She is a pretty dippy lookin' dame, no question about it, and I wasn't there at the Republican Convention so I can't say fer sure. I mean, there are about 500 places I probably woulda rather been, know what I'm sayin'? Swami Havabana, huh? Nice ring to that. Boy, I bet you got some loyal devotees lined up, buster. - Chongo |
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21 Jul 07 - 12:15 AM (#2108009) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp "Swami Havabanana", I meant. Typo. Ya know what "bananananda" means in Sankskrit? "Bliss through bananas" I can relate to that big time. - Chongo |
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21 Jul 07 - 12:17 AM (#2108010) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: GUEST It's spelled WUSS... Mr. Clonehead...I mean Offer...
-Joe Offer, the Original-
Thanks. -Joe Offer, Forum Moderator- |
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21 Jul 07 - 12:20 AM (#2108013) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace Hey, GUEST, Yer post will go by-by real soon. |
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21 Jul 07 - 01:06 AM (#2108022) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: DougR I have been informed by a uninformed source that Cheney is going to declare war on Elbonia while the president is being tested. Obviously there will be a need for new troops to man the invasion. Patriotic Mudcatters can sign up at their local post office. DougR |
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21 Jul 07 - 01:12 AM (#2108026) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace "Patriotic Mudcatters can sign up at their local post office." You can go in my place seein's how you love it so much, Doug. Never have seen anyone so willing to get other people's kids killed. |
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21 Jul 07 - 01:14 AM (#2108027) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Little Hawk The fools! Liechtenstein is the REAL threat. |
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21 Jul 07 - 07:36 AM (#2108105) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Bee-dubya-ell Hey Doug, do people from Elbonia live in Elbo rooms? |
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21 Jul 07 - 08:58 AM (#2108127) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: GUEST,282RA I had a dream last night about them finding more polyps up Bush's ass. While trying to remove them, Bush goes into a violent seizure and dies. Thoroughly frightened at the thought of Cheney being president, doctors frantically work to remove the polyp which contains all of Bush cognitive functions. They bathe it in a solution and pack it in ice and have it flown on Air Force One back to the Oval Orifice. They hook it up to a special machine with a loudspeaker on it. After a few tense moments, during which Cheney looks like he's going to shit his pants, they suddenly hear tumbling from the loudspeaker: "Now it's a particularly heavy task--especially in the world--because there's those who don't believe that because your skin is brown or your religion is Muslim that you can't self-govern." A huge cheer erupts from the doctors as they joyously embrace and high-five one another. Cheney stands there clearly enraged and despairing but slaps his disturbing half-leer on his kisser and praises Halliburton for the technology that provided the ice that preserves President Bush-Polyp. That night, the nation watches anxiously as their television screens show a microphone in front of a loudspeaker attached to a portable cooler. Surely, this is not THEIR president. Certainly Cheney has taken over the government. O woe to us! they cry. When suddenly they hear: "In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences." A collective sigh of relief is heard hanging above the nation. Cheney will challenge the legitimacy of a presidency run by an ass-polyp that is probably cancerous. But the Supreme Court throws the case out. The majority (and, in fact, unanimous) opinion of the court being that the people believe that even if Bush is just a nonsense-talking cancerous ass-polyp he's still better than Cheney. Moral: Even if Bush is just a nonsense-talking cancerous ass-polyp he's still better than Cheney. |
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21 Jul 07 - 10:14 AM (#2108153) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: katlaughing LMAOWROTF, 282RA! Brilliant! |
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21 Jul 07 - 11:29 AM (#2108181) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Ebbie Speaking of being adoring personified, ya can't beat Nancy Reagan. |
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21 Jul 07 - 12:16 PM (#2108193) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Little Hawk Yeah, that's what I was thinking too, Ebbie. |
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21 Jul 07 - 01:12 PM (#2108232) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Don Firth Hey, Chongo, how does "Swami Havabananananda" scan out? I live but to serve. Re: Not to keep beating on Laura Bush--she really seems to be quite a nice lady--but I did run across this, which may explain a lot. CLICKY Don Firth (aka Swami etc.) |
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21 Jul 07 - 02:44 PM (#2108271) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: John on the Sunset Coast Well, Dick Cheny is no longer acting President, and the USA seems to be none the worse for his tenure. Or DID I miss all those proclamations he was going to proclaim (as prognosticated by BWL and others)? Or maybe you guys were just funning. |
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21 Jul 07 - 03:58 PM (#2108310) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Alba Well I never thought I would see the day when I would say I was breathing easier now that King George is back on his throne (sitting on a fluffy cushion no doubt but on the Throne none the less!) I know it was a case of one A'hole replacing another for two hours but hey.... So now it is time to get busy round the House. I shall bring my Comp back up from the cellar and start taking the Duct tape off my windows. *Grin* |
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21 Jul 07 - 04:08 PM (#2108314) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace Aw, shit. So Bush is still with us? |
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21 Jul 07 - 06:05 PM (#2108344) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: gnu 282RA. I doff my donut to you, sir. Well done. Hilarious... sad for the truth of it, but hilarious. Thanks. |
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21 Jul 07 - 06:52 PM (#2108361) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Bobert First of all, good 'um, 282'zer... Now accordin' to the Wes Ginny Slide Rule the polyp count is 5 down and 1 to go, the last one being Cheney himself... I'd bet Bush goes to bed at night wishin' he had never heard of Dick Cheney... I know there's millions of other folks who feel the same way... |
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21 Jul 07 - 07:11 PM (#2108365) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Little Hawk Chongo, if given a two-hour tenure at the helm of America, would have accomplished more, I assure you... |
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21 Jul 07 - 07:33 PM (#2108372) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Don(Wyziwyg)T "Why are they doing this at Camp David instead of at Bethesda or Walter Reed? Are there better health care facilities there?" They wouldn't dare to let ole shrub get into the hands of AMERICANS, Rap. It would destroy the aliens' master plan, if the medical profession found out how Cheney controls him. It ain't Dicky boy's head up that arse, it's his hand!!! Don T. |
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21 Jul 07 - 08:27 PM (#2108388) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Bobert Well, gol danged, LH.... Of course Chongo would have accomplished more... Chongo has, ahhh, a friggin' brain... And it ain't no polyp implant brain but a real one... Hey, who said that polyps is all that smart anyway... Hey, they chooze to live in poo... Does that make 'um Menza material??? Nevermind... |
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21 Jul 07 - 08:38 PM (#2108394) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: GUEST,Art Thieme Among other things removed, they finally found Jimmy Hoffa---and those elusive weapons of ass desruction. Art |
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21 Jul 07 - 08:51 PM (#2108398) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: GUEST,282RA The reason for the operation in the first place is that Tony Blair has left office and needs his nose back. |
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22 Jul 07 - 01:00 AM (#2108450) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace Well, on the same token, Canada would like Stephen Harper's tongue returned. |
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22 Jul 07 - 12:53 PM (#2108643) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Alba You know the title of this Thread has suddenly struck me as very accurate. Cheney has indeed assumed that he has held the office of President since the get go! Just drop the vice and there you have it!! |
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23 Jul 07 - 02:17 PM (#2109423) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: frogprince actual photo of Bush's colonoscopy proceure |
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23 Jul 07 - 04:03 PM (#2109512) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Alba I dare not click the link FP. shuuuuuudddddderrrrr |
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23 Jul 07 - 05:48 PM (#2109563) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: GUEST,Rich (Bodhránaí gan cookie) Maybe they put in a chip that'll allow him to lie in complete sentences now. RIch |
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23 Jul 07 - 07:32 PM (#2109629) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: robomatic This thread belongs in the music section: "Polyps, polyps who meet polyps..." |
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23 Jul 07 - 07:34 PM (#2109632) Subject: RE: BS: Cheney Assumes Presidency From: Peace Would it rhymed with scallops. |
