Red Green Songs

04 Aug 07 - 06:34 PM (#2119289)
Subject: BS: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

Not sure is this is really a musical thread or not, but Red Green (Steve Smith) had a lot of funny little songs on the Red Green Show.

Like:

Trapper Jack was huntin' bear
A dangerous hobby at best
We brought him back to the doctor in town
And he was a heck of a mess
There was some assembly required
Mostly teeth and bones and hair
Jack had always been good with a knife
But unfortunately, not quite as good as the bear

---

04 Aug 07 - 06:37 PM (#2119292)
Subject: RE: BS: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

Often, the last line was spoken, with no regard to meter or rhyme.

On a warm summer's day when we're not after bass
We get out the van and fill her up with gas
Pull up behind a car, headin' down the road
Pull up so darn close, you'd think we're bein' towed
Tailgatin'
Tailgatin'
Kinda looks like the vehicles are matin'
Tailgatin'
Tailgatin'
Just make sure your brakes are okay... in retrospect, that was an oversight on our part

---

04 Aug 07 - 07:32 PM (#2119328)
Subject: RE: BS: Red Green Songs
From: Peace

Just for you, Cluin.

---

04 Aug 07 - 07:37 PM (#2119330)
Subject: RE: BS: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

Oh, I have one whisker on the end of my nose
And the more I shave it, the more it grows
I waxed it and stretched it `til it was forty inches long
And then it was hit by lightning and I was forced to rethink the whole project.

---

04 Aug 07 - 07:40 PM (#2119331)
Subject: RE: BS: Red Green Songs
From: Alice

This is a lyrics thread!! It should be up above!

---

04 Aug 07 - 07:48 PM (#2119333)
Subject: RE: BS: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

From Peace's link:

"You start to wonder, where did our music go? What happened to the great music that defined our generation? Well, I'll tell you where it went... Our music is in the clearance bin down at the hardware store. You can pick up five...maybe six tapes for the cost of one of them CD things... I know it's depressing to see the music of your life stacked beside the special discount shampoo and the two-for-one light bulb sale, but that's okay, because it's finally at a price you can afford."

---

04 Aug 07 - 08:03 PM (#2119337)
Subject: RE: BS: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

Oh, I know a guy with a car named "Sue"
He was the butt of many jokes
He'd named his car after his wife
'Cause it's hard to start and it smokes

---

04 Aug 07 - 08:08 PM (#2119341)
Subject: RE: BS: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

Then there are the poems:

It is spring.
Tadpoles swim in a stagnant pond, surrounded by floating lilies and water snakes.
You're tempted to destroy their world with men and equipment, to dry up the swamp and kill the animals.
But what the heck? You don't go down in the basement that often anyway.

---

04 Aug 07 - 08:13 PM (#2119342)
Subject: RE: BS: Red Green Songs
From: gnu

Those who don't know (of) Red, yer missin out.

Keep yer stick on the ice.... because we're all in this together, eh... famous words by Red.

---

04 Aug 07 - 09:33 PM (#2119372)
Subject: RE: BS: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

Oh, the mountain is high and the valley is low
It's the laws of Nature that make it so
If the valley is high and the mountain is low
You're either upside down or drunk or both

---

04 Aug 07 - 10:32 PM (#2119388)
Subject: RE: BS: Red Green Songs
From: Sandra in Sydney

I love the Spring poem, it's my kind of poetry!

---

04 Aug 07 - 10:44 PM (#2119391)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

My butterfly collection gives me so much pride
My butterfly collection makes me warm inside
The monarchs, blues and yellows, these are beauties, man oh man
Come see my butterfly collection; they're all wedged in the grille of my van

---

05 Aug 07 - 12:20 AM (#2119444)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Alice

There are the sayings of Red Green character Range Gord (be still my heart)
"Many people have died at the end of a snake. Many people have died at the end of a rope. Think about it. "


Red Green:[singing] The fish swam in like horses, and jumped up on the beach / They climbed the split-leaf maple, and each one gave a speech / They sang a bunch of show tunes, then hopped back into the lake / It's amazing what you see up here, after you hit your head really really hard on the dock...

---

05 Aug 07 - 12:26 AM (#2119447)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Alice

Red Green:Well, I'm not gonna be calling the U.S. Air Force, Harold. What do I say? We've got a missile? They take that as a threat, we're in real trouble.
Harold Green:Well, then, contact the Canadian Air Force.
Red Green:Harold, it's after six; he's gone home.

---

05 Aug 07 - 12:27 AM (#2119448)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Alice

Red Green:[singing] Oh, there's a hole in my tent and the water's coming in./It's rainin' on my hat, and it's drippin' on my chin./Always remember camping lesson number one./If there're bugs in your tent, don't shoot 'em with a gun.

(it's Canadian humor, what do you expect - Alice)

---

05 Aug 07 - 01:03 PM (#2119738)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Sandy Mc Lean

Long before the Red Green Show there was Smith&Smith. Steve and his wife and their cute kids. I loved that show!
                   Sandy

---

05 Aug 07 - 02:30 PM (#2119803)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: GUEST,leeneia

Thanks for posting. The songs and poems are most enjoyable. My mother was a Red Green fan, and I watched the show with her a few times. Never saw any songs or poetry, though. Must have been bad luck.

---

05 Aug 07 - 02:40 PM (#2119811)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

The Red Green character and show were actually based upon a real show on the CBC, The Red Fisher Show.

Red Fisher would invite special guests--usually baseball player Ted Williams, but also hockey players Eddie Shack and Gordie Howe and others--on fishing and hunting trips and would film the proceedings with an old hand-held Super 8 camera. They were short films with no sound. The concept was that they would sit in the mythical "Scuttlebutt Lodge" and recount their adventure and joke and laugh with each other as the films played and they would get drunker and drunker as the show went on. Spent many a Saturday morning watching the show as a kid. Old Red was one of the first TV fishermen to promote catch-and-release on his show.

John Candy also did a send-up of Red Fisher with his Gil Fisher character, on "The Fishin' Musician" bits on SCTV. Same sort of concept except he would take the musical guests on the show out on "silent film" hunting and fishing trips which involved little of either. Remember he took Joe Walsh & band on a "snipe hunt" and The Ramones on a fishing trip with a shore lunch, where Gil Fisher barbecued a steak because he hated the taste of fish.

---

05 Aug 07 - 02:42 PM (#2119813)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

When you wish upon a star
Make sure it's not our own sun
'Cause wishing on our sun isn't much fun
Unless your wish is to burn out your retinas

---

05 Aug 07 - 06:47 PM (#2119978)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: rangeroger

"I am a man. But I can change if I have to. I guess."
rr

---

11 Aug 07 - 02:57 PM (#2123835)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Don Firth

Ah, yes. The man's prayer.

But if it's to have its full impact, you have to give it the right inflexion.

With hanging head:

I'm a man.

But I can change.

If I have to. . . .

. . . I guess. . . .

Don Firth

---

11 Aug 07 - 03:03 PM (#2123838)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: gnu

Anyone recall the anti-bear device? With the cans full of rocks and the backpack with the lawn chair parts.... hilarious... not that you wanna scare the bear by looking big and ferocious... just hard to eat!

But, the best was the animal control officer... can't recall his name... with his arm in a sling from porky quills. Red says, "I didn't know porcupines could throw their quills." Buddy replies, No, they can't, Red. But, a bear can throw a porcupine."

---

11 Aug 07 - 10:38 PM (#2124028)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Don Firth

There've been a couple of animal control officers on the program. I don't recall the name of the first one, but one of my favorite characters on the show is Ed Frid. Very nervous! Animials frighten him. Even hamsters. "Oh, no, Red! You can't tame a hamster. They'll sneak up on you when you're asleep and eat your eyes!"

Or. Cobra in a basket. Red asks if they're safe. Ed says, "Yeah, we're safe enough as long as the lid's on the basket." The lid pops off the basket. Red (very apprehensive) says, "What're you going to do, Ed?" Ed backs slowly away and says, "Uh -- I have not plans."

Don Firth

---

11 Aug 07 - 11:46 PM (#2124045)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

My favourite character is Hap Shaughnessy (played by the great Gordon Pinsent):


Hap: I quit whaling after my near-fatal encounter with the great white whale, Moby Richard.

Harold: I think you mean Moby Dick?

Hap: No. I didn't know him that well.

---

12 Aug 07 - 01:12 AM (#2124077)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: harpmolly

*trying furiously to quit giggling long enough to type*

I adore the Red Green show. I can't believe no one has posted the Possum Lodge motto yet!

"Quando omni flunkus, moritati!" (with possumlike arm movements).

Translation: "When all else fails, play dead!"


P.S. Hands off Ranger Gord, Alice...he's mine! I'll make him forget all about that tree stump...

---

12 Aug 07 - 06:24 AM (#2124133)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: ragdall

Lots to see here:
http://www.redgreen.com/

---

12 Aug 07 - 11:15 AM (#2124163)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

But not as much as there used to be, ragdall.

It's showing the same tendency to be found all over the web. Lots more glitzy bells and whistles and Flash effects with less and less useful information. For instance, there used to be lyrics and poems on that site.

---

12 Aug 07 - 02:35 PM (#2124275)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Don Firth

Yeah, Molly, gotta have the lodge motto!

To me, about the funniest of the shows is when Harold finally gets himself a girl friend. Bonnie. Played by Laurie Elliot. She appears on three shows that I know of. What a riot!!

As Red says, "If those two ever get married and have kids, it's the end of life as we know it!!"

Here's what Laurie Elliot (award winning Canadian stand-up comic) looks like without the teeth and glasses:   CLICKY (I never would have recognized her).

Don Firth

---

12 Aug 07 - 03:10 PM (#2124294)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Cluin

Red was right. Harold and Bonnie got married on the very last show.

---

12 Aug 07 - 06:28 PM (#2124390)
Subject: RE: Red Green Songs
From: Don Firth

Yeah, I remember the bridal kiss. She was all over him like a tent. The only person in the world who was more desparate than Harold was (if that was even possible)!

As I recall, someplace along the line there was a family portrait:   Bonnie and Harold and two kids who were all glasses and teeth.

Don Firth

---