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05 Aug 07 - 06:52 PM (#2119981) Subject: BS: Your Obituary From: Mickey191 Just reading some obits & wonder why some pertinent info. is very often left out. The most often omitted is the name of the mother of the deceased man's children. John Jones died leaving his second wife whom he married yesterday. Also grieving are his children, Shania, Danielle, Hortense, Brigette, Minerva, Anastasia, Gwendolyn, Eurydice and Joe. Were these children delivered by the stork? Found in the rushes? Dropped from Heaven? Delivered by FedEx? It irks me! What five or so things would you want mentioned in your obit? |
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05 Aug 07 - 07:05 PM (#2119988) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Ebbie Hmmmm. I've never noticed that, Mickey. What five things would I like mentioned? 1. Zest for life- as long as I wanted to live 2. Reveling in music 3. An appreciation of the aromas of the earth around me 4. An appreciation of beauty in whatever vehicle it was held 5. That I *tried* |
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05 Aug 07 - 07:19 PM (#2119997) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: katlaughing I think the mention may be left out in the case of an acrimonious divorce, infidelity, etc. 1) Love of Family 2) Love of All Creatures 3) Compassion 4) Love of Music 5) Gratefullness |
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05 Aug 07 - 07:56 PM (#2120010) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Mickey191 I'm quite sure that is the reason, Kat, but she's still the Mother of his children. I rarely see it reversed in that the husband isn't mentioned. Just a pet peeve of mine. Like Your & Ebbie's five mentions. |
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05 Aug 07 - 08:50 PM (#2120028) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Bobert I like to read obits... Oh, no, not the ones that have deen written by a funeral home director or, in most cases, family members but the ones that have been written by real obit journalists... These obits don't dwell on the biological stuff as much as the accomplishments of the deceases... How many kids and by whom is for tabloids... I want to know what folks did and what folks left... The rest is like gossip... Jus' my opinion... BTW, I have a cut out obits from newspspares over the years of folks who left behind real stories...War heros... Boxers who almost made it... Women who fought the good fight... Etc..., Etc..., If one ever wnats to understand what "life is all about", I'd suggest findin' a newspaper with a good obit department... Like I said, jus' my opinion... Bobert |
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05 Aug 07 - 09:10 PM (#2120030) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Mickey191 My daily obits are from the local Gannett Paper. Not alot of choice here. They do, however, cover the deceased's accomplishments. The war records of both men & women from WWII get to me. Those who won purple hearts & bronze stars and sadly -those POW's. We all owe so much to those heroes. What is your source, Bobert, for interesting tales? |
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05 Aug 07 - 09:49 PM (#2120050) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: katlaughing Me, too, Bobert. At one point I was collecting them from western papers and only about women who had lived a long, long time, and only those ones which told the tales of their early days on to their accomplishments, many of them pre-modern conveniences. Mickey, I wrote my mom's obit and did not mention my dad out of respect for her and my siblings. Their divorce came after 38 years and it was very abrupt and unexpected for her. He remarried as quickly as it came through. I like to put as much info as possible in an obit because i know their value when it comes to genealogical research, but I still feel there are times when the public just doesn't need all of he details. |
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05 Aug 07 - 09:53 PM (#2120052) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: katlaughing I should have said: in my dad's obit, his wife and her family did mention my mom and stated when they were divorced. Only thing is, they got the date wrong! So, going by their dates, my dad's second marriage would be invalid as he was still married to my mom until a year later. Did I tell them? No, his wife was in real sorrow and getting elderly so I figured it served no purpose. I have the correct dates in my research archives. |
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05 Aug 07 - 10:34 PM (#2120063) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: The Fooles Troupe He said he was dying. |
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05 Aug 07 - 10:52 PM (#2120075) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: EBarnacle The saddest one I have ever seen was "He did the best he could." |
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05 Aug 07 - 11:01 PM (#2120081) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Rapparee After listing the usual wife, kids, military, etc., my late friend Bob's obit had one line that spoke volumes to those who knew him: "He was a rifleman all his life." To Bob this would be the highest possible praise. |
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05 Aug 07 - 11:29 PM (#2120087) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Slag How about "Man, it's hard to get recognition in a crowd of 6 billion." |
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05 Aug 07 - 11:54 PM (#2120095) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: katlaughing EBarnacle, Hattie McDaniel, who starred in a lot of movies, but was probably best known as "Mammy" in Gone With the Wind, said of herself, "I did my best; God did the rest" or something close to that. Kind of puts it into perspective, for her, at least. |
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06 Aug 07 - 12:19 AM (#2120104) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Stilly River Sage One of the problems with obituaries these days is that the place and date of birth make it very easy for criminals to dig up social security numbers and start fraudulent accounts in the name of the deceased. By the time the family gets to probate, etc., a lot of damage can be done. You might want to generalize to help avoid that. Too bad about the genealogy folks, but there is so much information about everyone these days I think it is best to protect yourself. I wrote the obituary for my father and named the wrong death date on purpose. We know he died on a Tuesday, and the neighbor who found him a week later was sure he'd seen him and they'd spoken in the road outside the house on Friday. But the neighbor had been pushing an IV on a pole for a couple of days as he recovered from a bad infection and I'm convinced he did see dad--in spirit. Since it didn't matter to any of us and though we could document that last time a phone call or Internet connection was made, I wrote it with Tom's date because he was the only one who was going to care about the date. If you read obituaries from northern parts of the country you'll find they are more forthcoming about the cause of death, and they are more frank about the family relations. I regularly see the remark about the ex-wife in them, though not always. I used to write obituaries at a local newspaper, and people would call in with long ones written out to be streamlined or edited (I worked with them, I didn't just rewrite) and other times they would just tell me what they wanted and we'd talk and I'd put it together. A lot of them (the poorly written ones, usually) came from the funeral homes. SRS |
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06 Aug 07 - 01:06 AM (#2120122) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: katlaughing Good warning, SRS. Anybody who wants to can get a deceased's ssn from ancestry.com if they are willing to pay the fees. |
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06 Aug 07 - 02:15 AM (#2120135) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Liz the Squeak I hope my obit would read 'loved by many'... yes, I am that insecure! Obits are really, really hard to write, when you know the truth about someone. Writing my fathers' was a job I left to someone else, someone who didn't know what a violent, racist coward he was, who didn't know about the punches he threw at my mother or the abuse he hurled at anyone not like him or the way he sent his 12yr old daughter out to fight his battles for him. LTS |
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06 Aug 07 - 02:21 AM (#2120136) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Folk Form # 1 When your obituary appears on the front pages of the newspapers around the world, flags are flown at half mast, and a day of national grieving is announced in your own country, then, and only then, can you say you have really made it. |
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06 Aug 07 - 03:12 AM (#2120148) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Rusty Dobro Beg to differ, Penguin Egg. I sat in the sunshine in my garden the other day, with my children (both happily married and happy in their jobs), surrounded by grandchildren, and enjoying a nice pint of Adnams finest ale. I've got five days left to work, a pension I should be able to live on, travel plans including Ireland and Marrakech, two nice guitars and choosing another one soon. None of this fits your criteria, but even if the great foot descends on me from the sky today, I'd think I'd got the better deal. |
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06 Aug 07 - 03:16 AM (#2120150) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Liz the Squeak I agree to differ too... didn't Hitler, Mao Tse Tung and Phol Pot get front page headlines and flags at half mast? Maybe not all over the world... LTS |
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06 Aug 07 - 04:10 AM (#2120161) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Megan L "It'll be all the same a hundred years from now" There is a big fancy monument near the observatory in Edinburgh. A lot of money was obviously spent and the person or their relative thought the memory would live forever. people do ask "who was that for" but i have never yet heard anyone who could tell them. |
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06 Aug 07 - 05:28 AM (#2120178) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Folk Form # 1 Megan. I live in London and every day walk past stone monuments and statues that tower over me. For the most part, I haven't a clue as to who they are. Judging by their uniforms, I think they may be muscle men for the British Empire. Rusty Dobro. You have found contentment, which is a good deal to have indeed; but that is not the same thing as "making it" and will not grant you an obituary. Ofcourse, if Hitler had not "made it", then the world would undoubtedly have been a better place. |
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06 Aug 07 - 06:44 AM (#2120194) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Micca PE, have you seen the statue of Achilles in Hyde Park? it has one of the best inscriptions on its plinth, (I paraphrase slightly perhaps) " This statue was raised by subscription from the Women of Britain who contributed to its erection" |
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06 Aug 07 - 06:45 AM (#2120195) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: jacqui.c I found this on a grave in California:- She did not follow where the path led, she went instead where there was no path and left a trail. Down at the bottom of the stone was:- And she was known to raise a little hell now and then That, to me, sounds like one hell of an obituary! Penguin Egg - depends on your view of 'making it'.Being a public figure worldwide doesn't mean as much to me as being loved by those who really know me. |
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06 Aug 07 - 07:04 AM (#2120204) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Folk Form # 1 Micca, I have not seen the statue, but I shall now look out for it. Jacqui, I agree. |
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06 Aug 07 - 07:15 AM (#2120207) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: kendall "I knew if I lived long enough something like this would happen." |
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06 Aug 07 - 07:17 AM (#2120208) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Naemanson It wasn't the cough that carried him off, It was the coffin they carried him off in. I have a friend who says you are not supposed to take care of yourself to leave a good looking corpse. You are supposed to slide sideways into the grave, martini in one hand, cigar in the other, while being chased by a jealous husband. |
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06 Aug 07 - 01:50 PM (#2120306) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: JennyO Reminds me of that scene from "The Meaning of Life" where the convicted criminal is allowed to choose the manner of his death. You seen him running from a group of beautiful topless women with their boobs bouncing up and down, till he dives off the edge of a cliff, straight into the grave on the beach that is waiting for him. |
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06 Aug 07 - 02:19 PM (#2120319) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Mickey191 I saved this from a local obit. written about a young man who seemed to have many adventures, many friends, and was much loved: Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, But rather skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "What A Ride." I think he "made it." IMO all who pass and leave their friends and family feeling the loss while remembering all the goodness of the person, has truly "made it." One doesn't need approbation from a world of strangers to have a lived fine life. |
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06 Aug 07 - 03:28 PM (#2120347) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Becca72 Just my 2 cents worth, but when my mother died in February we didn't mention my father in the obit for the simple fact that they had been married for 25 years but divorced for 27 and all three of their "children" are adults so in my mind they had no real relationship anymore. I should clarify that....we did put in when they married because it was a big event in my mother's life, but did not include my father in the "survived by" list as at that point they'd been divorced longer than they'd been married. |
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06 Aug 07 - 04:07 PM (#2120375) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Micca Brett, and Mickey Just for you both Let me die a young man's death (Roger McGough) Let me die a youngman's death not a clean and inbetween the sheets holywater death not a famous-last-words peaceful out of breath death When I'm 73 and in constant good tumour may I be mown down at dawn by a bright red sports car on my way home from an allnight party Or when I'm 91 with silver hair and sitting in a barber's chair may rival gangsters with hamfisted tommyguns burst in and give me a short back and insides Or when I'm 104 and banned from the Cavern may my mistress catching me in bed with her daughter and fearing for her son cut me up into little pieces and throw away every piece but one Let me die a youngman's death not a free from sin tiptoe in candle wax and waning death not a curtains drawn by angels borne "what a nice way to go" death |
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06 Aug 07 - 04:10 PM (#2120381) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Bobert Mickey, My source is the Washington Post which has an excellent obit department... B~ |
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06 Aug 07 - 05:58 PM (#2120466) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Mickey191 Thanks Bobert. Micca-great poem.Going to google Roger McGough--looks like an interesting mind. One wonders which "piece" was kept. Oh no! It can't be! Or am I the only one thinking p----r. Sometimes I'm actually ashamed of myself. |
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06 Aug 07 - 06:17 PM (#2120483) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Micca Mickey, I heard him recite it live and the wistfulness he put into that line leaves no doubt at all!!! |
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06 Aug 07 - 08:25 PM (#2120526) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Mickey191 Thanks for the laugh, Micca. |
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07 Aug 07 - 12:04 AM (#2120599) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: JennyO You seen him Well, it was late at night. Dunno where the 'n' came from. |
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07 Aug 07 - 11:13 AM (#2120839) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Big Al Whittle It might be as well, at this point, to try the agent for a replacement. |
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07 Aug 07 - 01:55 PM (#2120943) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Megan L "Dammit he should have cut the red wire" |
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07 Aug 07 - 06:20 PM (#2121174) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Flatpick "He snuffed it - he knew it might happen as he got older, it sometimes does" That might be a realistic one for me. |
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08 Aug 07 - 11:42 AM (#2121711) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Rapparee I'd like "Still thirsty." |
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08 Aug 07 - 03:21 PM (#2121917) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Bat Goddess There's a great book published a couple years ago -- The Dead Beat: Lost Souls, Lucky Stiffs, and the Perverse Pleasures of Obituaries by Marilyn Johnson Records a lot of trends in obituary writing, especially the recent informal style. Linn |
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08 Aug 07 - 03:26 PM (#2121921) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Rapparee Well, I would like my small accomplishments mentioned, I guess. My landing on the moon, finding the polio vaccine, winning the Nobel Peace Prize, the ten Olympic gold medals, writing "Huckleberry Finn" -- small things, but they mean a lot to me. |
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08 Aug 07 - 04:14 PM (#2121966) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Bat Goddess On two early 19th century slate markers in York, Maine (both for women): "Lived desired and died lamented." If that isn't something to aspire to, I don't know what is! Linn |
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08 Aug 07 - 05:26 PM (#2122024) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Micca Linn, I read It as "Lived, desired, and died, laminated" :o) |
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08 Aug 07 - 06:03 PM (#2122050) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Bat Goddess This from local gallery (Portsmouth, New Hampshire USA) owner Priscilla Van Loon's obituary — which was so controversial, the Portsmouth (NH) Herald wouldn't print it! (It ran in its entirety in (Dover, NH's) Foster's Daily Democrat.) Here's some of the good bits from her obit: "Priscilla Van Loon, one of Portsmouth's leading personalities, died Sat., Nov. 1, 1997, after a long valiant fight with her family and a short bout with cancer." "Priscilla received her education daily and on four continents. She managed the Season's Galleries in the Hague, the Netherlands for many years and opened Gallery 33 in Portsmouth in 1984. She held court there regularly for 13 years. . . She worked fearlessly throughout her life to rid the world of poor taste." "There will be a memorial service . . . at the Unitarian Universalist Church . . . A cocktail party in her honor will be held at her home . . . Republicans and other conservatives attend at your own risk." "In lieu of flowers, Priscilla wishes people to make donations to any or all of the following charities [list of deserving follows] . . .Alternatively, she asks that purchases be made in her memory at Gallery 33 to support her grandchildren in a manner they could soon become accustomed." Wish I'd written it! Linn |
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08 Aug 07 - 06:41 PM (#2122082) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Mickey191 Rapaire, You didn't list one of your major accomplishments for which another took credit-The Dewey Decimal System. Melvil took all the glory! Linn, I'd love to have known Ms. Van Loon. Thanks for the laugh. |
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08 Aug 07 - 09:48 PM (#2122172) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Joe_F I don't deserve an obituary, but if I am to have an epitaph it should be "He got around to everything eventually." |
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10 Aug 07 - 10:25 AM (#2123064) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Bat Goddess Laminated, indeed! (Hmmm...maybe I should try that...) Linn |
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24 Sep 07 - 11:26 AM (#2156318) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Catherine Jayne I've fortunately never had to write an obituary but in August I helped write the family's thoughts and memories for Paul's father. There was alot of laughter as well as tears for someone that lived for 85 and a half years and had a full and interesting life. A person is still alive for as long as the people who love them still remember them fondly. May they not be forgotten. |
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25 Sep 07 - 12:17 AM (#2156834) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: TRUBRIT Batgoddess - I LOVED Lived desired and died lamented......one could aspire to worse things....... |
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25 Sep 07 - 12:28 AM (#2156837) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Big Al Whittle the time to say nice things about anyone is when they're alive and they can hear it. afterwards, its meaningless. |
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25 Sep 07 - 12:32 AM (#2156839) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: TRUBRIT Well - that is certainly true. |
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25 Sep 07 - 12:42 AM (#2156843) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Janie "On balance, she did no harm." Janie |
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25 Sep 07 - 12:43 AM (#2156845) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: Seamus Kennedy Some of you folks are confusing obituaries with epitaphs. I'd like to have my epitaph read as follows: (an arrow pointing to the grave beside mine) "I'll have what he's (or she's) having." Seamus |
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25 Sep 07 - 01:41 AM (#2156853) Subject: RE: BS: Your Obituary From: EBarnacle For my epitaph--"Saved a mountain with a phone call and let someone else take the credit." [I've told the story elsewhere.] |