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18 Aug 07 - 11:51 AM (#2128587) Subject: Malapropisms From: bubblyrat On the BBC main news this morning, the Sports Presenter,discussing the possibility of cricket star Shane Warne adopting German nationality, said that he (Warne ) , had been told that he was , I quote, " Illegible " ----!!! Some years ago, an acquaintance told me of the stray cat he & his wife had found, ragged and starving, in the street, and assured me that the animal was " totally emancipated " ( !!) -----Anyone else got any similar stories ??? |
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18 Aug 07 - 11:53 AM (#2128588) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: bubblyrat Sorry , I put this in the wrong section !! Please forgive !! |
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18 Aug 07 - 12:24 PM (#2128607) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Becca72 An ex-boyfriend, when he wanted me to provide finer detail, would tell me I needed to be more pacific. For some reason he got quite upset when I asked, "does that mean I have to go to the other side of the country and tell you the same damned thing again?" |
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18 Aug 07 - 01:13 PM (#2128640) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bainbo I sub-edit copy on a local newspaper. Oddly enough, bubblyrat, just the other day I was handling a report of an animal cruelty case in which one of the dogs was said to have been found to be in an emancipated state. Another one which was spotted in time, just yesterday, was a travel feature on Portugal which said the River Douro was home to several extinct birds. But one which got past everybody a few years ago and appeared in print - written by a fast-rising young reporter - mentioned renowned father of English literature the Vulnerable Bede. |
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18 Aug 07 - 01:25 PM (#2128647) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Micca I Love Malapropisms!!! The mother of a friend had a genius for getting things mixed 2 of her more memorable ones were: " The sea is a calm as a mildew" and she always refferred to a certain German desert made of chocolate cherrys and cream as "Black Florist Gateaux!!" I always thought it was the "Venomous Bede" |
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18 Aug 07 - 01:52 PM (#2128670) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Georgiansilver Some I don't love...the British "I should of" instead of "I should have".....I could of...I would of..etc etc ... can they not get it right it is HAVE...HAVE...not OF .....gets on my nerves. |
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18 Aug 07 - 02:01 PM (#2128677) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: GUEST,Desdemona My mother once had a neighbour who declared herself fond of "sympathy" music... But my all-time favourite was when an acquaintance who was making arrangements for an elderly relative to enter a nursing home mentioned that she had acquired "the power of eternity!" ~D |
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18 Aug 07 - 02:04 PM (#2128681) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Cluin I hate hearing "excape" and "nucular". |
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18 Aug 07 - 02:47 PM (#2128710) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Georgiansilver My other non-favourite is in the UK to hear someone talking about a "Robin Reliant" car which should be a "Reliant Robin" Grrrrrrrr |
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18 Aug 07 - 03:12 PM (#2128724) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Micca and I HATE "CerSTIFFicate", it is CerTIFicate!!! |
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18 Aug 07 - 03:15 PM (#2128727) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bainbo Yeah, but mispronunciatuins or just plain getting things wrong aren't malapropisms. A malapropism is when you unconsciously substitute an inappropriate word that sounds the same as the one you mean, so that the effect is absurd. The original Mrs Malaprop, in Sheridan's play The Rivals, famously spoke of someone being as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of the Nile, and described someone as being the very pineapple of politeness. By that definition, my example above extinct birds isn't a malapropism either. I'm straining to think of more examples I've heard, but can't up with any right now. Love the Black Florist Gateaux, Micca! |
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18 Aug 07 - 03:26 PM (#2128733) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Alba My wonderful Grandmother had a habit of getting words mixed up. I remember her telling me to use my hankie when I had a cold as I would.." breath better without all that Guitar blocking my nose"...smile Another time, years later, Gran was telling me that a Friend of mine had given brith to a lovely baby Girl but the baby was premature so the Doctors were keeping the wee one in an Incinerator for the time being. Jings I miss my Nana. Love and Light Jude |
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18 Aug 07 - 03:29 PM (#2128735) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: RangerSteve Someone I know once mentioned Michelangelo's painting in the Sixteenth Chapel. |
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18 Aug 07 - 04:09 PM (#2128749) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Arnie Personally, I prefer spoonerisms.... |
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18 Aug 07 - 04:13 PM (#2128754) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bonzo3legs Director's renumeration!! |
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18 Aug 07 - 04:32 PM (#2128762) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Rog Peek Some years ago, my mother in law charged with the task of buying some incontinent underpants for an elderly relative, went into a chemist (drug store), marched up to the counter and said to the shop assistant "do you sell continental pants here?" By the way Georgiansilver, when people mistakenly call it a Robin Reliant, they are usually talking about the van in Only Fools and Horses, which is in fact not a Robin, but a Reliant Rebel - even more infuriating! |
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18 Aug 07 - 05:31 PM (#2128803) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Wolfhound person I had an aunt who reputedly went through an entire conversation with a new male acquaintance at a party, using the word "erotic" when she meant "erudite". This probably wouldn't matter today, but 50 years ago....... Georgiansilver, isn't "should of" a mispronunciation of "should've"? I agree it's dreadful,when it's clearly "of", but I fear it's grammatically correct otherwise. Paws |
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18 Aug 07 - 05:41 PM (#2128809) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bill D found this one- "I might just fade into Bolivian, you know what I mean?" — Mike Tyson |
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18 Aug 07 - 05:42 PM (#2128811) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: bubblyrat When I was growing up in Sussex, there was a girl in our little group who would always point to tracks on the ground and exclaim " Look ! - Footsteps ! " She would also ,of course, when hearing someone approaching, say " I can hear footprints ! ". On a more recent note, the "Henley Standard" has been carrying an advertisemant for a very expensive house that was, apparently, " Formally two cottages " ! ---I wonder what it was informally ?? And, of course, there are regular references to the " Principle bedroom " !! |
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18 Aug 07 - 05:44 PM (#2128812) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: bubblyrat An advertisemEnt, even !! OOps !! |
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18 Aug 07 - 05:48 PM (#2128813) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: sneeble The one which always drives me crazy is brought and bought. I constantly hear "I brought a car/house/fruit today". My usual response which confuses people goes like this, "Really, where did you bring it from?". Most people don't understand my question. |
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18 Aug 07 - 05:52 PM (#2128815) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Rog Peek Should've is an abbreviation for should have where the 'ha' is dropped and replaced by an apostrophe. It is quite often written as 'should of' by those who believe that this is correct. |
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18 Aug 07 - 08:03 PM (#2128859) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Joe_F Another quotation from the eponymous Mrs Malaprop (in Fowler s.v. malapropisms): Sure, if I reprehend anything in this world, it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs. (apprehend, vernacular, arrangement, epithets) The line between malapropisms & eggcorns, and between them & folk etymologies, must sometimes be a fine one. |
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18 Aug 07 - 08:40 PM (#2128885) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: GUEST,heric This is a dangerous thread to read. Now I will be wary of stumbling if I try to say oblivian. |
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18 Aug 07 - 08:47 PM (#2128893) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: RangerSteve Working in a state park on the outskirts of Jersey City, we monitored the Jersey City Police radios. One night, I heard an officer report that he was pulling a woman over for erotic driving. |
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18 Aug 07 - 09:35 PM (#2128918) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bill D Some famous person..(I forget now, who)..once said that they were always VERY careful not to even try constructing a sentence about "circumscribing the world". And I actually heard a little lid on the Art Linkletter show many years ago say in answer to Art's questioning that he'd "like to be an Octopus"! "Why?" "Becuase then I could wrap my testicles around everyone!" |
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18 Aug 07 - 09:37 PM (#2128919) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Micca Another I remember " It was a Virtual Tour de France" (instead of a "veritable tour de force") |
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18 Aug 07 - 11:07 PM (#2128954) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: TheSnail The man's a suppository of information. |
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19 Aug 07 - 02:33 AM (#2128982) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: mrdux a couple of my favorites "I don't like voting. Voting creates such decisiveness....." - administrator of a non-profit organization, in response to the suggestion that a particularly contentious issue be put to a vote. March, 1998. "In a perfect world, one should receive nothing but well wishes and blessings when one decides to enter into the sanctimony of marriage." – an unnamed Hollywood publicist, speaking about Britney Spears. quoted by Stacy Jenel Smith, "Image Advice for Britney Spears." Netscape Network, 7 October, 2004 michael |
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19 Aug 07 - 05:25 AM (#2129012) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: sneeble I recently attended the work stall at a boat and had to say these words to fisherman - with a straight face "It's stimulate with pheromones". Nevertheless I had a very hard job keeping a straight face and the punters were worse. |
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19 Aug 07 - 07:36 AM (#2129049) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: DMcG Just today, my wife, intending to say she was contemplating during a sermon in church, declared she was pontificating during it. |
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19 Aug 07 - 08:34 AM (#2129067) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: bubblyrat She must have been on the horns of a Dalai Llama as to which one to choose-----and, in one Foul Swoop, got the wrong one !! |
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19 Aug 07 - 10:01 AM (#2129090) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bill D I can't decide which is worse...a horny llama, or lama. |
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19 Aug 07 - 10:06 AM (#2129094) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bill D Come to think of it, I'm not sure whether to worry more about a Dalai Lama, or a dallying llama....I suppose it depends on how horny they are. |
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19 Aug 07 - 10:22 AM (#2129105) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Flash Company Our dear next door neighbour often says 'When will dinner be ready, Keith, I'm ravishing'. (She is, but I think she means ravenous!) FC |
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19 Aug 07 - 10:23 AM (#2129106) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Alice I once had someone ask me what "kids" gloves were, and wouldn't they be too small for an adult. |
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19 Aug 07 - 10:23 AM (#2129108) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Alice .... and why would something need to be handled with kids gloves. |
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19 Aug 07 - 10:35 AM (#2129113) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Alice Annual company sales convention, the end of the week, one of the district managers volunteered to go on stage and do an example of a sales presentation. One of the company trainers role-played the part of a business owner, the manager started out with his presentation... I CRINGED when the manager replied to one objection of the client with "no, that is a MISNOMER" when he should have said, "that's a MISCONCEPTION"... I wondered how many of the 500+ sales people in the audience even noticed the mistake. |
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19 Aug 07 - 11:10 AM (#2129130) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: RangerSteve I don't suppose it's a true malapropism if I realize my mistake, but just this morning I made a reference to a movie "The Devil Wears Pravda". |
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19 Aug 07 - 11:12 AM (#2129132) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bill D As you have noticed, Alice, it is sometimes a curse to have a good command of the language in a group where there is doubt about the overall level of comprehension. You KNOW it is best to hold your tongue, but it sure is difficult at times! |
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19 Aug 07 - 12:03 PM (#2129157) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Dave the Gnome Hilda Baker was the master of it of course but my late Mum-in-law had some good un's. She used to take anti-inflamable tablets as well as carving meat with a lacerated edge knife:-) Dave |
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19 Aug 07 - 12:10 PM (#2129160) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: John Hardly Fun & Profit With Malaprops! |
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19 Aug 07 - 01:32 PM (#2129191) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: GUEST,heric Just plain illiteracy, but when the theme of the week was that Obama was naive, I saw/heard a talking head GOP "consultant" on CNN say naivitivity (meaning, ironicaly, his lack of sophistication or worldliness.) I didn't believe it the first time, but she said it twice more, clear as day. |
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19 Aug 07 - 01:47 PM (#2129198) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Amos One could argue that a certain naivité is far preferable to abysmal ignorance. Obama may be less scarred by hard experience than some, but he is no barbarian. A |
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19 Aug 07 - 01:50 PM (#2129200) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: John Hardly Obama may be less scarred by hard experience than some, but he is no barbarian. YEAH! ...it's Edwards who gets his $400 hair cut by his barbarian! |
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19 Aug 07 - 02:31 PM (#2129221) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Micca he is the very flower of shovelry |
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19 Aug 07 - 03:19 PM (#2129243) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: katlaughing Here I always thought it was one fowl swoop! |
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19 Aug 07 - 03:27 PM (#2129245) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: John Hardly Nope. I have it one good authority that it is "One Fell Soup" |
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19 Aug 07 - 04:16 PM (#2129266) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Actually, Kat, it's "one fell swoop" -- a term that confused me so much when I was a child that I tended to spoonerise it to "one swell foop." (I guess it's originally a logging term or something like that.) But I digress. One malapropism I hear all too often, including in song, is the use of "hoi polloi" to (judging from context) mean "high brow" or "elite." It's obviously a confusion of "hoi polloi" (the "rabble" or "great unwashed") with "hoity-toity." My brother -- who knows better -- once slipped during a lecture and referred to the movie "Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf," in which the two main characters were "always throwing epitaphs at each other." Then there's the common misspelling that yields: "I'm waiting with baited breath." (I always wondered what one would use for the "bait.") |
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19 Aug 07 - 05:05 PM (#2129295) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Amos LOGGING term? C'MAhn!! Fell means cruel or evil. A swoop is a diving attack. A fell swoop is a cruel attack by a bird of prey. A |
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19 Aug 07 - 05:11 PM (#2129303) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: dick greenhaus I recall (with apropriate shudders) the secretary at Monsanto's Plastic and Resins Division who decided that a 40-page report on the rheology of thermosplastics should be on the theology of thermoplastics. Nobody caught it, and it was circulated up through top management. |
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19 Aug 07 - 06:26 PM (#2129346) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Micca Dick, could that be where the Idea of the "Plastic Jesus"came from? |
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19 Aug 07 - 06:43 PM (#2129357) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Liz the Squeak We had the good old 'lying prostate before the Lord' this morning... LTS |
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19 Aug 07 - 06:59 PM (#2129364) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: dulcimer42 Then there are the cute ones that come innocently out of the mouths of kids. One of my kindergarten girls told me "A E I O U. My mom's been working on my vowels" Another child heard this and said, "My mom's been working on my bowels too, 'cause I've been constipated." |
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19 Aug 07 - 07:00 PM (#2129365) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Amos It's endemic among prostates that they induce lying of one sort or another, or both. Odd, that. A |
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19 Aug 07 - 07:04 PM (#2129367) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: dulcimer42 A couple of other cute kindergarten ones, Jummy told me "My mommie's been sick and I think I'm coming down with it too. It's the testicle flu. It's going around, you know" Another: Jeremy said, "You'll never believe this. The family that lives with us has 3 boys and they all have chicken cox!" Nope, I couldn't believe it! |
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19 Aug 07 - 07:51 PM (#2129386) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Rog Peek dulcimer42's post reminded me of a joke I heard in a Pub in Ireland, told by Ger Collins a well known fiddle player. Not really malapropisms, more a case of euphemisms maybe. Pat Murphy a very shy farmer married Mary Cronin and on the wedding night Pat's shyness got the better of him, so when Mary who'd gone up to bed called to Pat he said he would be up as soon as he'd finished his cigarette. Half an hour passed and Mary again called to Pat. "I'll be up shortly" he said, "I've just got to check on the cows". Anyway, another half hour past and when Mary called, Pat decided he'd have to make the effort, and made his way slowly up to bed. Mary said "Come now Pat, are you going to get undressed or not?" So slowly, Pat began to remove his shoes and socks. When Mary saw Pat's feet, she said "You've the strangest toes Pat, how did they get like that? "Sure" Pat said "I had a bad case of Tolio when I was a small child" "Don't you mean Polio?" she said "Not at all" says he "Me mother definitely said it was Tolio" At that, Pat slowly undid his belt and his trousers fell to the floor. On seeing Pat's knees, Mary exclaimed "You've very strange knees Pat, how did they get like that" "Ah sure" he said "I had a very bad case of neasles when I was a child" "Don't you mean measles?" said Mary "No, no, me mother said it was a very bad case of neasles." Pat replied. "Come on then " Mary said hurry up and get undressed and get into bed." Pat began very slowly to remove his underpants, whereupon Mary began to laugh. "What are you laughing at" said Pat "Well" said Mary "It's very clear to me that as a child, you had a dreadful case of small pox!" |
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19 Aug 07 - 09:11 PM (#2129412) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: katlaughing Genie, I know that. I was punning on the previous malapropisms.:-) |
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20 Aug 07 - 12:37 AM (#2129466) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Thanks for setting me straight re "fell swoop," Amos. After my initial befuddlement about the term, I connected it with the verb "to fell," as in "to cut down." Hence my guess that it was from logging (or some other sort of "harvesting"). Like many another etymological theory, it made sense, even if historically incorrecct. :) |
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20 Aug 07 - 12:41 AM (#2129468) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie "The power of our elected officials is circumcized by the Constitution." |
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20 Aug 07 - 12:45 AM (#2129473) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Kat, I figured you did know that (it was "fell swoop"). I was basically commenting on how confusing I found the term when I first heard it -- so it's not surprising that SOME people may unwittingly transform it to "one foul swoop," "one full swoop," etc. :) |
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20 Aug 07 - 12:58 AM (#2129476) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: katlaughing Ah, thanks, Genie. My youngest daughter used to mix all kinds of things. One I can remember was fitchpork. |
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20 Aug 07 - 02:50 AM (#2129495) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Liz the Squeak If we're going to stray into Spoonerisms... one that has stuck with me for over 25 years... the announcer on Radio 4, warning us of serious delays with flights from Gatport Airwick. We have also had flower derangments at church, the palm of the day and an enquiry sustaining to a wedding. LTS |
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20 Aug 07 - 08:05 AM (#2129572) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Mr Red And I always thought the fell in fell swoop was running down the mountainside (fell) and descending on your enemy having gained the momentum of the slope. And I still think it. |
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20 Aug 07 - 09:41 AM (#2129629) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Wolfhound person I've just remembered: Small daughter to friend at first school "My dad's a lecherer at a perversity" H'm. Paws |
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20 Aug 07 - 10:37 AM (#2129662) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Liz the Squeak We've just received a letter giving a 'signed mandrake'... I guess someone's spell check is at fault. LTS |
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20 Aug 07 - 11:12 AM (#2129676) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Liz the Squeak It's one of those days - tortology now with a signed signature! LTS |
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20 Aug 07 - 01:44 PM (#2129778) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: HouseCat I was told just the other day that an aquaintance had received serious "eternal injuries" in a car accident. He didn't die so I guess they're no longer eternal. |
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20 Aug 07 - 02:13 PM (#2129802) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bill D I shudder at those (usually IN the military) who confuse 'cache' and caché. Even more, I shudder at a TV newsreader who states that some force has "wrecked havoc" on someone or something. There are a couple of ways that 'could' be said ..see here, but wrecked is not one of them. |
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20 Aug 07 - 04:13 PM (#2129890) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Cluin I remember an episode of "All in the Family" where Archie was drunk and dictating his "last will and tentacle" into a tape recorder. |
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20 Aug 07 - 06:14 PM (#2129960) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Micca I knew I'd forgotten one " " He's living in a Menagerie a Trois with 2 women" |
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20 Aug 07 - 11:29 PM (#2130131) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Joe_F Some years ago I heard of a reporter who enlivened the society page of his paper by writing that a marriage had been "consummated on the courthouse steps". (The word he was looking for was "solemnized".) |
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21 Aug 07 - 12:32 AM (#2130173) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: TRUBRIT Micca-- I thought it was only my elderly (now deceased) aunt who referred to certificates as - in her case -- 'cusstificates'... |
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21 Aug 07 - 01:13 AM (#2130182) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie In a rather famous "blooper" from the early days of TV, a contestant on one of the early game shows was asked what she did for a living. She replied, quite innocently: "I'm a maid and I take care of a large family -- 2 boys, 3 girls, one adult and one adultress." And when I was a child, I used to wonder why "wreckless driving" was considered a bad thing. |
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21 Aug 07 - 06:29 AM (#2130279) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: JennyO Quite a few years ago we had a TV soap in Oz called "Number 96" about the residents of a block of flats. One of the characters was Dorrie Evans, a loudmouthed busybody type of person who was well known for her malapropisms and strange made-up words, such as: "It's enough to drive a body beresk." "I prefer to remain ambiguous." "Pardon me for protruding" "Don't cast nasturtiums..." Others I've heard include " I feel like a social piranha", "one foul swoop" (my aunt said that one often), and an intentional one by poet Denis Kevans in his recitation "Concreto" where he says Vasco de Gama "circumcised the world in a Spanish galleon". And I think this one was in one of the Terry Pratchett books - "We've all passed a lot of water since then". |
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21 Aug 07 - 08:57 AM (#2130352) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: JennyO I was watching Bargain Hunt on TV just now, when the auctioneer introduced the next item for sale as "Lot number 87 - the monogamy corner chair"! |
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21 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM (#2130368) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Mr Happy On the gameshow 'Catchphrase' a contestant was being given two picture clues, one showing a bottle falling & smashing, & the other of a windmill. The contestant offered first 'Wind' for part of the phrase, following up with 'Break'. The host prompted her by saying "Now put the two together" Her response; 'Break Wind ? |
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21 Aug 07 - 09:48 AM (#2130375) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: HouseCat Hiatus hernia Hyena hernia |
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21 Aug 07 - 04:17 PM (#2130601) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: GUEST I must admit I am an expert at getting things wrong. I still can't remember if the old fashioned sink is a "dublin sink" or a "belfast" sink!!! Also recently asked if someone's flyers were tat. A friend from school wrote in her exercise book "seedy fences" when the teacher was talking about "sea defences".
-Joe Offer- |
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22 Aug 07 - 03:17 PM (#2131362) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: North/South Annie Years ago my Nanna seeing a guy on the beach with binoculars said 'Look at that man looking through his horoscopes!' Also, in an infant class a child anounced to the class that '...the long things sticking out of the snails head are called is testicles!' Annie |
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22 Aug 07 - 03:27 PM (#2131368) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: George Papavgeris How about the kid at school stating that his granddad had "Old Timer's Disease?" |
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22 Aug 07 - 03:28 PM (#2131370) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: George Papavgeris Or "the effluent society".... or "a fig of my imagination"... |
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22 Aug 07 - 03:57 PM (#2131398) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: RangerSteve A western that I read a few years back had a character swear by "Jesus Christ crucified in Calgary". |
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22 Aug 07 - 06:48 PM (#2131501) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Liz the Squeak A song has just been inserted into my memory... 'Unchained Malady'. LTS |
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22 Aug 07 - 07:49 PM (#2131537) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: TheSnail Reminds me of Molière's famous play - Le Mallard imaginaire. |
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22 Aug 07 - 08:44 PM (#2131578) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Ron Davies The late (and very lamented) My Music--(I'd be happy to listen to repeats forever)--had a couple of good ones you probably remember, if possibly not proper malapropisms. A boy's favorite part of Messiah: "Come for tea, my people." And an woman asking in a music store for a record for her nephew: "Something about some trouble over in Bridgewater". |
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22 Aug 07 - 09:00 PM (#2131596) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: TheSnail A boy's favorite part of Messiah But for the best chorus you only need to omit a word - "We like sheep". |
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22 Aug 07 - 11:37 PM (#2131688) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bert George P., I seem to recall that the cartoonist Thelwell published a book of cartoons called "The Effluent Society" |
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23 Aug 07 - 12:49 AM (#2131717) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Jenny, you can remain ambiguous if you like. I prefer to remain unanimous. Especially when I'm playing my trampoline in the band. Sometimes it gets so bad they have to send in the Calvary to the rescue. |
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23 Aug 07 - 12:42 PM (#2132064) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: GUEST,Neil When I was a teen I asked my mother for a Pink Floyd album for Christmas. She went into the record store and asked if they had any records by Hot Lloyd. The clerk, bless her heart was able to figure it out and sold her "Wish You Were Here". There was a TV Show back in the 70's called "That's Incredible!" A malapropic friend once asked me if I had watched "Thats Incurable" the night before. What do you called a word unintentionally formed from two other words. A different friend used to refer to something shocking as being "notrocious". |
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23 Aug 07 - 02:21 PM (#2132147) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Wolfhound person Ron Davies wrote: "A boy's favorite part of Messiah: "Come for tea, my people." Isn't that a mondegreen?? Paws |
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23 Aug 07 - 02:27 PM (#2132151) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: katlaughing Just read this in a sample I was sent to edit: "He raised his hand in a gesture of posthumous thanks." |
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23 Aug 07 - 04:37 PM (#2132219) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Just this morning I heard a talk show caller complain about a TV ad that Bush's former press sec'y Ari Fleisher was running, in which he tries to drum up support for the "surge" in US troops for the 'war' in Iraq. She remarked, wryly, that this ad, which says something about us needing to "send in the Calvary," was being put out by Fleisher, "who is Jewish." When queried about why that was relevant, she said it seemed odd that a Jew would be making such a reference to the crucifixion. Thom tactfully pointed out that he thought Fleisher probably said "cavalry," and the woman sort of pulled an Emily Latella ("Oh, ... well that's different ... never mind.") I realize this is more a matter of dyslexia (or its auditory equivalent) than a true malapropism, but it was still pretty funny. |
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23 Aug 07 - 10:33 PM (#2132444) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Ron Davies OK Wolfhound, you got me. I did say it was possibly not an official malapropism. Truth be told, I just wanted to get a chance to cite it--it's just one of my all-time favorite examples of any form of wordplay. |
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23 Aug 07 - 10:52 PM (#2132462) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: katlaughing Guest, Neil, I did this one on purpose because it made my grandson, almost four years old, laugh like crazy: sneezles = sneezing + sniffles (sort of as that was his condition at the time) |
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24 Aug 07 - 09:24 AM (#2132668) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: HouseCat Just got this in an inter-office email this morning: "The attitude among our service reps is far too lazy-fair for my tastes." |
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24 Aug 07 - 10:53 PM (#2133125) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Ron Davies House Cat--you really don't think the writer was trying to make a pun? If not a pun, hoo boy--literacy is decaying even faster than we thought. Re: My Music: does anybody know if My Music copies can be obtained? It's the all-time best radio program ever, from my perspective. (Jan does not agree). |
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25 Aug 07 - 12:12 PM (#2133343) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: HouseCat Nah, Ron. The guy who sent that memo really is an idiot. ;~) |
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25 Aug 07 - 12:37 PM (#2133353) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Then there was the kid who told his teacher his doctor said he had "sick-as-hell anemia." (I know, I know. It's a mondegreen, not a malapropism. But it' one o' mah fav'rits.) |
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25 Aug 07 - 04:50 PM (#2133459) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Geordie-Peorgie Many years ago me Ma was stayin' at wor hoose and decided te mek pizza. She had aall the ingredients except one - She needed some origami te sprinkle on the top! And did yez knaah... A pigment of your imagination will sometimes colour your judgement!? |
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25 Aug 07 - 04:54 PM (#2133463) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Little Hawk Ye've got a bonny way wi' worrrds, dinna ye? |
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25 Aug 07 - 05:56 PM (#2133487) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: terrier My mother was explaining to us how my eldest sister accidently reversed her car into some bollocks, made it very hard to keep a straight face. |
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26 Aug 07 - 02:41 AM (#2133701) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Geordie-Peorgie Aye Little Hawk Aah gerrit from me Mam & Dad. If ye are hevvin' trouble with me accent try tis http://www.geordie.org.uk/geordie.htm Sorry, aah cannit dee the blue clickie thing yet! |
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26 Aug 07 - 06:23 AM (#2133756) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bainbo Theor ye gan, marra |
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26 Aug 07 - 09:16 AM (#2133819) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: JennyO I used to know a guy who had a black belt in origami. |
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26 Aug 07 - 10:41 AM (#2133843) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bill D "...a black belt in origami." He won very few matches...he always folded. |
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26 Aug 07 - 02:17 PM (#2133943) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Groooooaaaannnnn, Bill! *g* |
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26 Aug 07 - 05:53 PM (#2134060) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Geordie-Peorgie Black Belt in Origami? D'ye not mean a black belt in Karachi? Ma Mam aalwez thought a shitzu was one that didn't have any animals!! |
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26 Aug 07 - 07:03 PM (#2134099) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: terrier Ma Mam aalwez thought a shitzu was one that didn't have any animals!! LOL GP, I'd not heard that one. |
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27 Aug 07 - 09:51 AM (#2134441) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: JennyO Shitzu - isn't that some kind of Japanese massage ;-) |
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27 Aug 07 - 10:52 AM (#2134478) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: DMcG I don't want to imply my wife is a constant source of malapropisms, but she wanted to make some damsel jam earlier today ... |
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27 Aug 07 - 03:29 PM (#2134717) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: bfdk I've heard that in the old days witches were burned at the steaks.. ;-) Best wishes, Bente |
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27 Aug 07 - 04:08 PM (#2134753) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Jim Dixon I worked with someone who repeatedly referred to packages sent by US Mail as "partial post." I once heard a political pundit on the radio discussing a primary election in which Democrats would be able to vote on the Republican side of the ballot (the Democratic side was uncontested). She said she expected Democrats would "skewer the results." The director of maintenance at the university where I work gave a short talk describing several repair and renovation projects that were going on this summer. His Power Point slide mentioned a plan to replace a "rod iron fence." |
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27 Aug 07 - 05:25 PM (#2134822) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Stringsinger I resemble your interference by the use of ambidexterous words. The affect is truly misreprehensive and is the cause of a great sauce of contusions. In the remediate future I would ask that you refine your obligations to preclude the defecations of each one clearly without taking remorse to misleaning tissues. So that these malaproperties can be voluminated, I behest you to state fanatically your invention. It has come to my retention that your mythologies are for the porpoise of misalligning your readers. This said, it is my attention to ratify the defending language by reclusive dialect. We, as a specious and genius of high calibrate inhumanity, rechoir an intensive collaboration of the foregoing to shed elimination on the abject. It is depressive how so few can be eluded into misappropriate relapses. For this season it is incompetent on me to refine you that such inflections will not be mistaken slightly. Ham Frankleton |
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27 Aug 07 - 05:28 PM (#2134826) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Stringsinger P.S. Mardon P madame, you are occupewing the wrong pie. Mustaginnit, I will sew you to another sheet. This would fall into the category of Pralamopisms. Ham |
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27 Aug 07 - 07:39 PM (#2134908) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Greg B A lot of business people have, in the last decade, over-used the phrase 'honing in on.' You don't 'hone in' on something. You 'home in' on something. Or you 'hone' your skills, etc. |
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27 Aug 07 - 07:52 PM (#2134916) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: The Fooles Troupe "anybody know if My Music copies can be obtained" There have been some books with the famous 'My Word' (same 2 major participants) stories - I seem to remember that there were some BBC cassettes a while ago of a few selected either the Word or Music shows - but they are still broadcast regularly in Australia - not afrequently as they used to be a few years ago. I'd suggest contacting the BBC website (shop area) - maybe you can ask a question there if they do not show up. |
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28 Aug 07 - 04:20 PM (#2135499) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Uncle_DaveO Greg B, re: "Hone/Home" Hooray! Someone has stood up for truth and justice! Dave Oesterreich |
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29 Aug 07 - 01:01 AM (#2135818) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bert Greg B, re: "Hone/Home" unless of course they meant to say "horn in" which is a different saying altogether. |
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29 Aug 07 - 01:59 AM (#2135829) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie ROFLMAFAO, Stringsinger! §;-D Genie |
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29 Aug 07 - 11:04 AM (#2136069) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: GUEST,HiLo I once knew a maths teacher who warned students not to"conjugate at the water fountain". |
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29 Aug 07 - 12:17 PM (#2136113) Subject: RE: Malapropisms, spoonerisms, mondegreens, etc. From: Genie LOL, Stringsinger. Actually your "Pralamopisms" are "spoonerisms" (named for the Rev. Spooner, who was notorious for saying things like "Jesus, the shoving leopard of his flock"). Oh, and the way I heard that last one was: "Mardon me, Padame, but you are occupewing the wrong pie. May I sew you to a sheet in the cack of the birch?" |
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29 Aug 07 - 06:09 PM (#2136380) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Geordie-Peorgie Aah! The biny little tirds! When aah wez a sailor (like me Da', Bubblyrat) we used te use malapropisms aall the time Like "... He would say that! That's his tropical altitude (typical attitude) "It's just a tropical illusion" (Optical) |
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29 Aug 07 - 06:34 PM (#2136394) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bert Don't you mean an optical delusion? |
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29 Aug 07 - 07:09 PM (#2136419) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Stringsinger Geordie, There was someone I knew who would say about a self-important person, "He has the wrong altitude." Frank |
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29 Aug 07 - 07:15 PM (#2136423) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bill D I just remembered a guy I used to work with once stepped on a nail, and was afraid to go to the hospital for fear they'd give him one of those 'tenative' shots. (Yes, he even mispronounced the malapropism) |
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30 Aug 07 - 09:21 AM (#2136824) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: The Fooles Troupe Not a malapropism, but definitely a wise thing to say to a class of young high school students in the Co-ed Chess Hobby Group... "I want silence, except when mating!" |
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30 Aug 07 - 05:32 PM (#2137126) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Geordie-Peorgie Cheers Bert! Aah like the optical delusion! Me Uncle Albert was a right comedian and he used te say te me Mam, "Howay wor Jean aa'll teach ye how te dance the Highland Schithoose" Honest! It's a wonder aah ever learnded te speak Endlandish at aall |
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31 Aug 07 - 12:30 AM (#2137382) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bert Highland Schithoose... Bwaaaah! I haven't stopped laughing yet. |
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31 Aug 07 - 06:34 AM (#2137524) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Hawker My Mother in law describes people who are Psychotic as Psychic, she has lots more incorrect descriptions, which I cannot remember but it is often impossible to keep a straight face when she is talking. Cheers, Lucy |
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31 Aug 07 - 08:14 AM (#2137576) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: GUEST,HughM Just seen an advert in which a scientific recruitment agency is asking for a "Regularity Affairs Co-ordinator". I presume they mean "regulatory", or could they be looking for someone to encourage the consumption of more dietary fibre? Written by a pupil at our local primary school after a series of lessons on world leaders: "Mussolini was shot and hung upside down in a pizza in Milan". |
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31 Aug 07 - 01:12 PM (#2137799) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Geordie-Peorgie When aah did me trainin' as a naval meteorologist one of the lads wrote in an exam "...... is a specific weather report for shipping porpoises" instead of purposes The same guy should have written 'Fracto-stratus', to describe the cloud that gives us drizzle, but he wrote 'Fractus-cactus' He passed the course anyway and now works for The Met Office in the UK - Aah think he meks the tea |
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31 Aug 07 - 08:28 PM (#2138065) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Yesterday at a church dinner a woman complained that the rice in the casserole wasn't quite done, and I kiddingly said, "It's 'al dente." The woman laughed and said that her mom gets mixed up and refers to pasta like that as "al detente." |
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08 Sep 07 - 05:53 AM (#2143831) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bainbo We've just bade farewell at work to a young woman, one of whose endearing qualities was the ability to engage her mouth before putting her brain into gear. Her bon mots were assiduously catalogued by one of her colleagues. The one I can remember that came closest to a malapropism was: "Are you sure they're called tuxedos? Aren't they what the Germans used to bomb people with?" Non-malapropisms included: "Do dogs have skin?" and "Tea comes from China - like polar bears." The same colleague once explained her condition to her in this sympathetic way: "I've come across people before whose mouths work faster than their brains. But in your case, your mouth is doing 70mph the wrong way down the motorway, waving a whisky bottle out of the window, while your brain is still patting its pockets and muttering ' Now, car keys ...' " |
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08 Sep 07 - 07:06 AM (#2143860) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: gnu Gosh... I just can't remember the name of the American comedian who does so many of these in his acts. Norm ???? The one that sticks out in my mind is, "I resemble that remark." Crosby??... Norm Crosby? |
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08 Sep 07 - 11:55 AM (#2143981) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bainbo Jimmy Durante was prone to them, wasn't he? "That's a tissure of prefabrications". |
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08 Sep 07 - 01:32 PM (#2144053) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Genie Gnu, yes, Norm Crosby's whole comedic was based on malapropisms. But "I resemble that remark" goes back decades before him. I can't remember whether it was Groucho Marx or some other mid-20th C. comedian who used to say that all the time, but one of them did. |
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08 Sep 07 - 02:52 PM (#2144095) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: GUEST,Irene A friend of mine came up with some cracking inventions. She had a ton of "Aphrodite" delivered for the open fire. (Anthracite?) Someone we knew had trouble with "Hermones". That has been quite a useful one. Just to be an awkward sod, I refer to buying "orgasmic" milk, veg etc, just to watch the victim's eyes unfocus while they think about it. My mother said that her mother came home from a church meeting, (as an adolescent, I think) mildly hysterical. A woman had been lecturing on mission work in "Lupus Lumpus". We have never worked out where she was talking about. |
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08 Sep 07 - 04:29 PM (#2144130) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Mike Miller My mother used to say, "Don't make a canary.", which was her mispronouncing of the Yiddish "Keinohera", tempting the evil eye. That is why, whenevre a Jew says something complimentary, he must temper it with a disclaimer or, at least, by spitting three times. For instance, he might say, "What a beautiful baby, keinihera." That evil eye is always on the lookout for good looking children. My ex stumbled into a wonderful spoonerism, some years ago. We were driving past the Wonder Bread bakery, in Conshehocken. She took a deep breath, smiled, and said, "Oh, I love to smell the bed breaking." Hell, who doesn't? |
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08 Sep 07 - 07:13 PM (#2144271) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: gnu Yes, genie... I googled Norm and it is he. A master! Perhaps I was wrong about the "resemble', but, Norm is the master, as far as i have seen. And, good beyond that... one of the most frequent quotes on variuos websites is about fearing to go to trial with a jury made up of 12 people who were not smart enough to get out of jury duty. |
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08 Sep 07 - 08:07 PM (#2144296) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: GUEST,Bert on Kelly's machine. Then there is the Cockney habit of deliberately mispronouncing words of three or more syllables. Had this friend who always called "The Commissary" "The Commissionaire" |
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27 Mar 21 - 04:20 AM (#4099474) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: The Sandman i had a wonderful email today." I have been working like a trojan horse" even better it was spelled trogon horse |
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27 Mar 21 - 05:11 AM (#4099477) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Senoufou Here in Norfolk you'll hear these sort of things all day long! Neighbour told me her friend had had a brain haemorrhoid. (piles in the brain?) Nearly everyone here calls a certificate a 'sustificate'. And many women have what they term 'various veins'. |
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27 Mar 21 - 06:37 AM (#4099485) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Bonzo3legs My son when very young referred to "the incredering hulk" !! |
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27 Mar 21 - 06:39 AM (#4099486) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Acorn4 We enter the world of "Footballers' English:- "Rose Scented Glasses" then there was our friends grandma who said she had a clitoris growing on the trellis round her door. |
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27 Mar 21 - 07:30 AM (#4099494) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: The Sandman thats wonderful, acorn , a freudian slit |
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27 Mar 21 - 08:03 AM (#4099496) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Senoufou Hahahaaaaaagh Acorn, that's hilarious! It reminds me of the lady at the garden centre who asked if they had any gonorrhoeia. She meant that large-leaved water's edge plant Gunnera. |
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27 Mar 21 - 10:09 AM (#4099516) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Jos A few years ago there was a young man serving in the local bookshop. When a customer asked after the manager, the young man said that he wasn't well, and had to go into the back of the shop sometimes as he was suffering from necrophilia. |
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27 Mar 21 - 10:37 AM (#4099522) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Donuel People come up with these on the sperm of the moment. |
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27 Mar 21 - 06:32 PM (#4099580) Subject: RE: Malapropisms From: Mrrzy I am reminded of Tom Lehrer talking about the necrophiliac who fulfilled his childhood dream and became coroner. Then when only a few people laughed, added The rest of you can look it up when you get home. |