|
28 Aug 07 - 11:40 PM (#2135791) Subject: 'Strangest Friend' new song from CapriUn From: CapriUni This month, I've been taking part in the online LiveJournal community National Art Making Month, where the challenge is to complete a new piece of art every day for the month of August. For the 23rd, I took a stab at that archive of Irish proverbs and came up with "The life is the strange son [of the world]." I was only able to come up with a rough draft within the 24-hour time limit, so I used that as the base for a stand-alone picture. In the meantime, while working on other "na'arts," I've been polishing the song, and here it is (quite probably, still a work in progress; it says all the things I want it to say. I'm just not sure it says them in the right way. So I'm submitting it to Mudcatters' refined ears): Strangest Friend Oh, Life is a taskmaster, some people say With sorrow and pain, he drives us through the day. But other folk say he's a lover so fair, And the dreams that he dreams make the world that we share. Chorus: When I meet with Life, I greet Brother and Friend, For he keeps me in good company. He sings me a new song, around ev'ry bend Without any reason or rhyme. He wears his motley the wrong way 'round; his shoes are oft untied. But when there's trouble at my door Then it's Life that I want by my side! Oh, they've often told us, since our youngest days to study and toil and never to stray. But when our plans falter, as plans often do, It's the rovers and dancers who gain something new. Chorus Oh, riches are spent, and our beauty will fade. And worries will plague us at end of the day. But just when we think that our joy's at an end, we will find a new treasure around the next bend. Chorus Oh, Life is a taskmaster, some people say Or a fool who is dreaming the time all away. But I see a brother and friend for to greet, though the strangest of friends that I ever will meet. To hear what this tune sounds like, copy the bold text below, paste it into the text window of the ABC Convert-o-Matic, and click [submit]. That will bring up a page where you can click to hear a simple midi. (If, for some odd reason, you computer fails to cooperate, try turning off your pop-up blockers. I've heard rumors that that can help). X:1 T: Strangest Friend C: CapriUni (Ann Magill) M: 4/4 L: 1/8 Q: 1/4=110 N: N: Made for the 23th day of Native Art Making Month N: N: A song based on the Irish proverb: "Life is the strange son (of the world)" K: F z D G2 GG A2|GF E2 FE D2|z D C2 CC E2| EE F2 EF D2|z F F2 FF G2|GG A2 BA G2| GG E2 EE D2|DD C2 DE F2|z3 C F2 FF| G2 GG A2 BA|G2 GG F2 FF|E2 DE F2 z2| F A2 AA B2 A|G F2 GA G2 z|F E2 EE D2 D| D C2 z2 C F2|F G2 GG A2 G|F2 F A2 A B2| A G2 z G D2 D|F2 F E2 D C2|CC D2 DD E2| EE F4 z4|] |
|
29 Aug 07 - 02:42 PM (#2136217) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from CapriUn From: CapriUni That's what I get for posting late at night, when I'm tired and don't even realize it: I ramble on about how I wrote the song, and I forget to say why I'm uncertain about it. So -- Specifically: Does the shift from D minor to F major, within the verses, work? I did it intentionally, to underline the tragi-comic nature of life (with the major key ultimately winning out), but I wonder if I'm being too clever by half. Similarly, I wonder about the chorus -- that line: "Without any reason or rhyme" is deliberately out of either key, and doesn't rhyme -- too clever? Also, the rhythm changes for a few bars, after that. Does this help break up monotony, or is it jarring? And in general, is the melody of the chorus a good seque from the end of one verse to the beginning of the next? I've had this song in my head so much, lately, I can't hear it clearly. Thanks for any suggestions! |
|
29 Aug 07 - 02:57 PM (#2136233) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: katlaughing I like the segue from the chorus to the next verse. I like the real lilting I hear in the second half of the chorus best of all. The second line of the first verse seems a little awkward to me, maybe a syllable too long or something. Great idea and I like it! Forgot about the arts month thing! Don't think I could've managed it this month anyway. Goodonya! |
|
29 Aug 07 - 03:46 PM (#2136270) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: Peace 'For the 23rd, I took a stab at that archive of Irish proverbs and came up with "The life is the strange son [of the world]."' That is some stab. Love it, CU. Good lyrics and a melkody that works with the spirit of the words. Bravo! |
|
29 Aug 07 - 03:49 PM (#2136274) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: gnu Bravo indeed! |
|
29 Aug 07 - 04:54 PM (#2136323) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from CapriUni From: CapriUni The second line of the first verse seems a little awkward to me, maybe a syllable too long or something. Thanks, Kat. Hm. There's a one-to-one match between the number of syllables in the line, and the number of notes. But maybe it's the accent placement that's off. How's this (the change in italics): "Oh, Life is a taskmaster, some people say, With sorrow and pain, driving us through the day"...? That is some stab. Love it, CU Thank you, Peace. ... Though I had to click through to the explaination of the original Gaelic to get to the interseting metaphore. The initial translation on the index page was simply: "Life is strange" (tell me something I don't know!). One thing I learned through that explaination is that, in Gaelic, the word for "Strange" is also the word for "Likeable," and "Excellent." That's a culture after my own heart! After all, why would anyone strive to be normal? ;-) *Bows to Gnu* Thank you, sir. |
|
29 Aug 07 - 06:16 PM (#2136385) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: SussexCarole Love the words...we're just trying out the dots |
|
29 Aug 07 - 07:25 PM (#2136432) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: CapriUni Thanks, Carole... Who's the other part of your "we"? |
|
29 Aug 07 - 07:30 PM (#2136437) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: katlaughing Yes, CU, I really like the way you rearranged it! Beautiful song, as always! |
|
29 Aug 07 - 07:51 PM (#2136459) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: CapriUni Thanks, Kat. I have to keep reminding myself that it's the accented syllables that the ear keeps track of, not the raw number... And now, I'm wondering if there's a better way to phrase the first two lines of the last verse (the almost reprieve). Something keeps nagging at me that the second line should flow from the first a little more smoothly... *goes back to puzzling* |
|
29 Aug 07 - 08:07 PM (#2136473) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: katlaughing How about: Oh, Life is a taskmaster, some people say Or a fool who dreams all of the time away. |
|
29 Aug 07 - 08:09 PM (#2136476) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: SussexCarole We = Me & CraneDriver |
|
29 Aug 07 - 09:05 PM (#2136522) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: CapriUni Kat -- I think I've got it! Oh, some say that Life, he is hard and is cruel. Carole -- Oh. As my grandmother used to say: "How jolly!" |
|
29 Aug 07 - 10:25 PM (#2136554) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: katlaughing I LIKE it!! Way to go!! |
|
29 Aug 07 - 11:21 PM (#2136573) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: CapriUni Thanks, Kat. I think it was the phrase "for to greet" bothered me most; it sounded too self-consciously "folky"... also, the verse was too much like the first one. |
|
30 Aug 07 - 10:21 PM (#2137289) Subject: RE: 'Strangest Friend' new song from Capri Uni From: CapriUni For the same reason that I found "for to greet" too self-consciously folky, I also decided to change the phrase "His shoes are oft untied" to "his shoes are all untied" And, for some reason I don't understand, I couldn't get the words to line up with the dots in the version of the ABC I posted above, so here it is again, for anyone who's interestd: X:1 T: Strangest Friend C: CapriUni (Ann Magill) M: 4/4 L: 1/8 Q: 1/4=110 N: N: Made for the 23th day of Native Art Making Month N: N: A song based on the Irish proverb: "Life is the strange son (of the world)" K: F z D G2 GG A2|GF E2 FE D2|z D C2 CC E2| w: Oh, Life is a task-mas-ter, some peo-ple say, with sor-row and pain EE F2 EF D2|z F F2 FF G2|GG A2 BA G2| w: dri-ving us through the day. But o-ther folk say he's a lo-ver so fair, GG E2 EE D2|DD C2 DE F2|z3 C F2 FF| w: and the dreams that he dreams make the world that we share. When I meet with G2 GG A2 BA|G2 GG F2 FF|E2 DE F2 z2| w: Life, I greet bro-ther and friend, for he keeps me in good com-pa-ny. F A2 AA B2 A|G F2 GA G2 z|F E2 EE D2 D| w: He sings me a new song a-round ev-'ry bend wi-thout a-ny rea-son D C2 z2 C F2|F G2 GG A2 G|F2 F A2 A B2| w: or rhyme. He wears his mot-ley the wrong way 'round; his shoes are all A G2 z G D2 D|F2 F E2 D C2|CC D2 DD E2| w: un-tied. But when there's trou-ble at my door, then it's Life that I want EE F4 z4|] w: by my side! |