BS: We starve the president

29 Aug 07 - 07:11 PM (#2136420)
Subject: BS: We starve the president
From: GUEST,crazy little woman

George W. Bush, the president of the United States, came to Kansas City last week to give a speech. One morning, he left the posh environs of the Plaza to have breakfast in the humble (though white, to be sure) town of Riverside. Not just in Riverside, but at the Corner Cafe, home of chicken-fried steak, French-fried gizzards, and biscuits & gravy.

You remember how Samuel Johnson said that in Scotland oats feed the people? Well, in Kansas and Missouri, biscuits & gravy feed the people, at least for breakfast. Biscuits & gravy consists of biscuits, which to those of you across the pond, are like scones but not as sweet. The biscuits are broken open and drowned in pale, creamy gravy. There are pieces of pork sausage in the gravy. I have no idea how it's made, but I'm pretty sure it involves a number 10 can of something.

So the president and all his followers motorcaded to the Corner, and he asked the waitress what was good. She replied, "Well sir, it would be a shame to come here and not have the biscuits." It seems the biscuits & gravy are so elemental that most people don't even bother with the "& gravy" part. Plus, she was probably a little flustered, so she just said "biscuits."

How do I know all this? Talk radio.

Apparently they all got busy translating the menu into Texan and placing orders, and the president duly ordered a biscuit. And that's exactly what he got. He stared at the small, dry, pale biscuit on his plate and said, "It's kinda small."

And the waitress said, "This isn't Texas."

(Why does that crack us up? There are 1,000,000 people in the Kansas City area, and by now everybody but the bishop knows that the waitress replied, "This isn't Texas.")

In time the Department of Agriculture interceded, or perhaps it was the governor, a notorious Republican. The president eventually got his biscuits & gravy. I don't know if he liked it, but I do know one thing. He didn't leave the table hungry.

---

29 Aug 07 - 07:42 PM (#2136449)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: katlaughing

I love what she said, but she could have also said, "that's your drain brain on our country...all dried up!"

Out here, or at least from my family's southern roots, we put butter and sugar on our baking powder biscuits. None of that slurpy gravy stuff!

---

29 Aug 07 - 07:46 PM (#2136452)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: DougR

I love biscuits and gravy AND chicken-fried steak, though I doubt either one compares to the excellent b&g and cfs, produced by Corner Cafe type restaurants in Texas. It's probably just a Republican thing.

DougR

---

29 Aug 07 - 07:47 PM (#2136455)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Azizi

Kudos to that waitress and may she not suffer any negative reprecussions because of her quick wit. Her "This isn't Texas" comment reminds me of the line in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy realizes that she's not in Kansas anymore.

**

I wonder what other regional delicacies folks would offer GWB?

If he wanted to get folksy with some folks down South, he could order up a dish of chitlins.

Even better, Bush could show he's just a "regular" guy by rolling up his sleeves and cleaning a batch of chitlins. I'm sure he'd love their interesting smell...

;o}

[True confessions-I've never tasted chitterlings {chitlins} and after smelling them being cleaned and cooking, I doubt that I'll ever taste them].

---

29 Aug 07 - 10:33 PM (#2136556)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: katlaughing

Out here, in Colordao, we've always told the Texans, that Colorado would be LOTS bigger than Texas if we flattened out all of the mountains!

---

29 Aug 07 - 10:43 PM (#2136560)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Ebbie

In Oregon, they say that Texans would be normal if they stuck a pin in them to let the air out.

---

29 Aug 07 - 10:46 PM (#2136561)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Rapparee

Brown good pork sausage and good onions in a skillet. Pour off any grease or add some butter if needed -- you need about 3 tablespoons of melted fat of some kind.

Stir in 3 tablespoons of flour, making a roux of the grease, sausage, and onions. Now pour in 2 cups of warm milk. Stir until it's gravy-thick and serve it (with a little salt and lots of freshly ground pepper) on biscuits. (You can also use good thick-sliced bread.)

Don't use hot, spicy sausage.

---

29 Aug 07 - 11:15 PM (#2136568)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: JennyO

Ooh, this all sounds so yummy. I can feel my cholesterol rising just reading about it!

We've just been having some interesting discussions about breakfasts and biscuits - including recipes, over on The Annexe. At the moment they are the top two threads - "Breakfasts" and "Biscuits".

The idea of these little scone-like things being called biscuits is new to us furriners down in Oz, so it's interesting to learn something new.

---

29 Aug 07 - 11:28 PM (#2136576)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: GUEST,crazy little woman

Thanks for the recipe, Rapaire. It's good to know.

While cooking lunch for the destitute at St Mary's, the story of the president's breakfast came up. A fellow cook who used to work at Kansas University Medical Center (a huge teaching hospital) said that they sold a lot of b&g to the medical students. "It reminds them of home," she said. "Comfort food."

One last detail - Bush was said to be a good tipper.

---

29 Aug 07 - 11:34 PM (#2136579)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Bert

Here in Colorado Springs we say that a Texan is someone who buys a plane and flies West until they get to the Rocky Mountains.

---

30 Aug 07 - 02:42 AM (#2136633)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: The Fooles Troupe

"flies West until they get to the Rocky Mountains. "

... where hopefully he is buried...

---

30 Aug 07 - 03:17 AM (#2136646)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: katlaughing

Bee, you just made me wonder if the reason my family has never put gravy on our biscuits comes from Nova Scotian ancestors instead of southern! My dad was always adamant about it.

Bert...**bg**...fools, NO! we don't want him buried here!:-)

---

30 Aug 07 - 03:33 AM (#2136653)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Kampervan

Just one little question from the eastern side of the pond - What is 'Chicken-fried steak'?

Is it a fried chicken steak or does it involve beef at all?
Please pardon my ignorance, but I'm intrigued.

PS the biscuits in gravy sound great, are they easy to make?

Regards
K/van

---

30 Aug 07 - 04:12 AM (#2136673)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Liz the Squeak

Kampervan - make as for scones but leave out the sugar. They're great on top of an oven baked casserole rather than a pastry topping to make it a pie.

Scones:
4ounces butter straight from the fridge.
8ounces self raising flour or plain with 2 teaspoons of baking powder.
A negg.
1/4 pint milk - a great way of using up milk that is 'on the turn' but not yet lumpy. Traditionally it's buttermilk.*
Pinch of salt.

Cut the butter in to small chunks and rub into the salt and flour to make a breadcrumby mix. Beat the milk and egg together and add to mix to make a soft dough. Roll out to about 1 1/4 inches thick and cut into large rounds. Bake at 190C until golden brown. You can add 2oz of strong grated cheese to the mix if you wish. You can also glaze the tops with beaten egg and sprinkle with grated cheese if you wish. The glaze keeps the cheese on.

In the dim distant past, I used to make a 'cobbler' with a pound of minced meat (didn't matter what variety), a small tin of vegetable soup and scone mix topping. Fry the mince, add the soup, put in a casserole dish and cover with scone mix. The soup soaks into the scone during cooking and the meat remains juicy. Must try it again one day soon...

*buttermilk - what's left over after the butter has been churned. It can allegedly be reproduced by adding 1 tablespoon of white vinegar, lemon juice or cider vinegar to 1 cup of milk and leave for 10 minutes before using.

LTS

---

30 Aug 07 - 07:22 AM (#2136763)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Bee

In Nova Scotia there are as many recipes for biscuits as there are people who bake them, but Liz has posted an all-round recipe. Some people leave out the egg, others add a little sugar (particularly if the biscuits are used in a dessert, such as strawberry shortcake or cinnamon rolls). The trick to them is to keep the 'breadcrumby mix' not too fine - size of small peas - and to mix as little as possible after adding liquid, just enough to wet all the dry ingredients. Bake at 400F.

---

30 Aug 07 - 09:13 AM (#2136819)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: katlaughing

We didn't use eggs or any sweetening and you have to cut them out to be round by using an overturned glass!**bg** Oh, and eat them piping hot from the oven.Delicious!

---

30 Aug 07 - 09:15 AM (#2136820)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Rapparee

True chicken-fried steak is a good beefsteak, pounded tender, breaded as you would fried chicken, and fried as you would chicken. A good chicken-fried steak is delicious, especially with white "country" gravy (make as per the recipe I gave above but leave out the onions and sausage).

Recently I've seen "chicken-fried chicken" on some menus....

---

30 Aug 07 - 09:46 AM (#2136849)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: mack/misophist

Having both cleaned and eaten 'chitterlings', my advice is... don't. Just say NO.

---

30 Aug 07 - 09:50 AM (#2136853)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Kampervan

Thanks for the recipes.

It sounds like really good food.
I'll be trying them out over the next few days to see what we've been missing over here.

---

30 Aug 07 - 09:53 AM (#2136857)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Kampervan

But back to the original theme of the thread - I get the impression that Texans don't seem to be very well regarded.

Does that apply to all of them or just the Head Man?

---

30 Aug 07 - 11:12 AM (#2136902)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: GUEST,leeneia

Texas is a huge state, and Texas-size has come to mean anything bigger than usual. I'm sure that's what the waitress was referring to.

I don't suppose there is a general dislike for Texans. In my opinion, Texas state government is short on services and regulations, but I'm not an expert.

For example, some years ago I met a woman who had been a VISTA volunteer in Texas. Her group wanted to start a day-care center, so they inquired into regulations for day care in Texas. There were none.

That particular situation may have changed, but the attitude behind it seems typical of Texas.

---

30 Aug 07 - 07:29 PM (#2137196)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: michaelr

Seen on a hat at a California ski resort:

"If God wanted Texans to ski, He would have made bullshit white".

Cheers,
Michael

---

30 Aug 07 - 08:06 PM (#2137223)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: DougR

Rapaire: It's good to know we agree on at least one thing ...chicken-fried steak! Just wish it wasn't so damn unhealthy.

DougR

---

30 Aug 07 - 08:13 PM (#2137229)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Little Hawk

Actually, there IS a general dislike for Texas...but it's a good-natured dislike, combined with a genuine fondness for the larger-than-life Texas outlook. Let's face it, the USA would be less interesting without Texas.

---

30 Aug 07 - 08:16 PM (#2137232)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: pdq

If you want a musical explanation of how Texans think (and what people think about Texans) listen to "Stupid Texas Song" by the Austin Lounge Lizards. It is available for download for 99¢ I believe. Hint about the perspective, the two founders of the Lounge Lizards are went to Yale, not Texas A&M.

---

30 Aug 07 - 09:04 PM (#2137247)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Ebbie

In Alaska we like to tell Texans that if they are sad at the notion that they are no longer the largest state in the US, the situation could be worse: Alaska could divide into two states and then Texas would be Number Three. :)

---

30 Aug 07 - 09:10 PM (#2137253)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: katlaughing

Well there are folks in Texas that I wouldn't complain about in a minute...our own Stilly River Sage lives there, plus Aine, we have a good friend who lives in Austin and loves it, plus there was Molly Ivins, Ann Richards and a few others who made it worthy in some way, imo.

---

30 Aug 07 - 11:13 PM (#2137320)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Rapparee

Ah've bin ta Dallas an' even Fort Worth.

Too danged many people, jist like New York City.

---

31 Aug 07 - 12:46 AM (#2137401)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: GUEST,leeneia

I'm not prejudiced against the people of Texas, but I have my doubts about the state government. That's different.

I once took Martin Carthy out to dinner, and he ordered the chicken-fried steak. He liked it because it didn't have any cheese on it.

---

31 Aug 07 - 03:13 AM (#2137456)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Azizi

It's not Texans' fault that GWB decided to claim that state as his home {or someone else decided that he should do so}.

Actually, Bush is from one of those New England states.

Every geographic region of the USA is the brunt of good humored and not so good humored insults & jokes from residents of other regions, and sometimes from the folks who live within those particular regions. Some states "suffer" the same fate.

But GWB and Cheney both "adopting" Texas has certainly increased the number of Texas jokers-er jokes.

---

31 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM (#2137615)
Subject: RE: BS: We starve the president
From: Greg F.

....Texans would be normal if they stuck a pin in them to let the air out.

its not air that needs to be let out.... particularly with our beloved chief exec.

---