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30 Aug 07 - 09:24 AM (#2136826) Subject: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Liz the Squeak The vicar kindly 'catsat' for us whilst we were at Towersey festival last weekend and he's corrupted my little Raven Kitty. The damned animal won't leave me alone! He's never been a lap cat, but suddenly after a weekend with the vicar, he is barely more than an arms length from me. It's not the first time I've left him for a week or so... it's not even the first time this year! If I get up for a bathroom break, he jumps in my seat, if I'm typing here, he'll sit on my wrists and he's spent longer in my lap this past 3 days than he has his entire 2 years here! I'm wondering what the vicar has done to my little pussycat. I thought he was a nice chap, just the sort to help a parishoner out, he only asked for a bottle of red wine as payment (others choose gin...), but my pusscat is completely changed. The other cat crapped everywhere and peed in my school governors file but she was doing that before we left so no change there. I'm very confused now.. but quite grateful - I like this new lap-sitting kitty, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Maybe it's the cheap cat food... LTS |
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30 Aug 07 - 09:39 AM (#2136842) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Big Al Whittle I dunno, with some people its all tits and pussy....... |
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30 Aug 07 - 09:44 AM (#2136845) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Amos That's right, blame the vicar for what is happening with your own pussy. Come on,Liz, take some responsibility. Who decided to let the wicked vicar get his hands on your pussy in the first place? A |
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30 Aug 07 - 10:05 AM (#2136862) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Megan L Liz that one is going in Granny Doms wee black book oh boy will you be in bother. :-) |
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30 Aug 07 - 10:07 AM (#2136865) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Liz the Squeak Have I been a bad, bad girl? LTS |
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30 Aug 07 - 10:08 AM (#2136868) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Amos Probably not, but you sure talk like one.... A |
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30 Aug 07 - 10:12 AM (#2136870) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: artbrooks Next time ask the vicar to take care of what's-his-name... |
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30 Aug 07 - 10:19 AM (#2136873) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Bee I'm shocked, Liz, shocked! And a vicar, to boot! Then again, they're cats. Unfathomable. Me, I'm suffering from a kitty dilemma. I cannot have another cat. My one year old neutered fella is in and out during the day and in before dark. A lady about a half km. from here has been feeding a few ferals for a couple years, and has not had them fixed; just gives away as many kittens as she can, not an ideal situation, but not a problem for me until now. One of those kittens (I think it's one of hers, haven't been able to get her on the phone) started visiting here two weeks ago. Can't be more than three-four months old, tiny, white with grey tail and forehead marks, fluffy, little sweet pointy face, absolutely appealing. It has fallen in love with my boy, follows him around like a puppy, puts up with all manner of indignities. I can't get near it, but if I leave the door open and move to another room, it sneaks in and makes a beeline for the catfood. It disappears for several days and then comes back. Two nights this week, when I brought mine in, it sat outside the patio door and cried for hours, only letting up when my fella would nose her(?) through the screen. Coyotes will have this little thing sooner than later, so I'm trying to convince someone to take it, or else I might have to get it 65 km. to the nearest shelter - but I'd really like to talk to the cat lady first. This little critter is breaking my heart. Anybody wanna cat? |
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30 Aug 07 - 11:29 AM (#2136919) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Anne Lister Love to help, Bee, but a few clues in your message indicate you're a few thousand miles away. I'm wanting advice from any of you feline shrinks about what to do with our cat, who will hardly ever eat cat food when I'm around (because she expects better from me in the way of scraps). She follows me everywhere, looking as cute and pleading as possible, and when I fill her bowl with really good quality cat food she looks at it disdainfully and walks off. And she's really thin, too. If I'm away, she'll eat whatever my husband puts down for her, and yesterday she must have been ravenous because she ate four pouches of cat food. Today, though, we're back to the "What have you given that to me for? Do you think I'm a cat?" expression. Oh, and to add insult to injury, we appear to have some rodents who are stealing her food from her bowl. Does she hunt them? Hah. ("Do you think I'm a cat? Hunt them yourself.") |
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30 Aug 07 - 11:42 AM (#2136928) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: lady penelope 'Ere Liz, maybe it's Raven's way of saying "Don't let the Vicar near me again, I promise I'll be good...." I mean, all cats are pagan, right? *G* As for a cat that refuses to take food from one person in particular, I'm stumped. The only thing I can think of is that you can never feed her scraps again. That and your husband is in for a chore for the length of the cats life..... Wish I could be of more help Tabster. |
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30 Aug 07 - 11:50 AM (#2136933) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Georgiansilver The thoughts of your pussy having learnt to position itself on the vicars lap........well...say no more.....at least if you can't see your tits any more you can still at least stroke your pussy Liz. |
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30 Aug 07 - 11:50 AM (#2136934) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Becca72 Somehow I knew this was Liz even before I opened the thread... Tabster...no more scraps. It's not good for the little dear anyway. Funny thing about cats is, they'll eat when hungry enough. If hubby doesn't mind, make him the primary feeder. |
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30 Aug 07 - 12:05 PM (#2136947) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: David C. Carter I wouldn,t let no vicar near my favorite lap-sitting pussy,no way! Anyway,my wife always brings it with us on holiday! |
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30 Aug 07 - 12:23 PM (#2136957) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: WFDU - Ron Olesko You Brits seem to have an unusual preoccupation with this sort of thing. |
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30 Aug 07 - 12:29 PM (#2136960) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: lady penelope Tis true. Can't deny it. The British do seem to thrive on double or even single entendres..... Smut, it's our heritage and we're proud of it! |
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30 Aug 07 - 12:36 PM (#2136969) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Bee "Nudge nudge, wink wink!" |
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30 Aug 07 - 01:23 PM (#2137012) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: WFDU - Ron Olesko I'm reminded of the old Saturday Night Live routine that had a couple who only talked in double entrende. When it came time to do something about it, they had no concept of what to do. |
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30 Aug 07 - 04:00 PM (#2137039) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: katlaughing Probably nothing to do with the vicar and everything to do with he missed you and is trying to ensure you will never, ever leave his side again! Tabster, Becca is right. No more scraps and don't fret if she goes without for a few days. Cats can be very stubborn, esp. if they think they can have their way with you through guile and pitiful actions! YOU have to be MORE stubborn. I know, in my lifetime I've been owned by no less than thirty cats throughout the years! |
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30 Aug 07 - 04:09 PM (#2137048) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Georgiansilver You would not think that cats and dog-collars would be compatible would you? |
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30 Aug 07 - 04:12 PM (#2137051) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Joe Offer What IS that Liz going to come up with next? I dunno, though. The thread titles have lots of promise, but the contents leave something to be desired.... -Joe- |
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30 Aug 07 - 04:15 PM (#2137056) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Little Hawk Are you quite sure that you're not related to Olive Whatnoll, Liz? |
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30 Aug 07 - 04:30 PM (#2137070) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: autolycus It's interesting how women like cats. Let's see. cats sleep all day, disappear all night, can't be called to their food unless they're hungry, can't be told, do what they like, only take affection when they want, lie about in the most inconvenient places, walk all over the kitchen tops ----- all the things, in other words, that women can't stand in men. Ivor |
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30 Aug 07 - 04:36 PM (#2137074) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Metchosin Liz, it would seem that your pussy suffered from some sort of separation anxiety. Perhaps if you gave it a few strokes it would allieviate its fears and give it some assurance that all is well again. |
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30 Aug 07 - 04:39 PM (#2137079) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Georgiansilver I guess they don't even put the toilet seat down....or put the top back on the toothpaste......they lick their own backsides and then lick you!.YUK!........ |
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30 Aug 07 - 04:44 PM (#2137084) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Little Hawk Something that men might do too...were they flexible enough to manage it! |
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30 Aug 07 - 04:48 PM (#2137088) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Liz the Squeak Or were paid enough... it's amazing how flexible a person can be when the price is high enough. LTS |
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30 Aug 07 - 05:01 PM (#2137093) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Herga Kitty Liz - I look forward to having an interesting conversation about the flexibility of your pussy (and possibly tits) with you and Cats at the Wail! Kitty |
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30 Aug 07 - 05:07 PM (#2137100) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Little Hawk Shane is getting quite upset about you, Liz. "First she can't find her own flippin' tits! Now the vicar's been corruptin' her pussy! Holy flip! This babe needs help, man, in the worst flippin' way. Are they really that stoopid in England??? I mean, this is Skank City, eh? Holy flip!" |
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30 Aug 07 - 05:59 PM (#2137145) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: lady penelope LOL! |
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30 Aug 07 - 06:16 PM (#2137153) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Georgiansilver Lizzes tits and pussy have now gained worldwide notoriety. Not many can lay claim to this! |
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30 Aug 07 - 06:41 PM (#2137166) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Bee-dubya-ell I'm glad Liz started this thread. I'll be sure to never leave my cats in care of a vicar. Of course, that won't be too difficult since I don't know any vicars. In fact, I don't think we have vicars in the US. We have scupernongs. Maybe the scupernongs scared the vicars off. |
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30 Aug 07 - 06:41 PM (#2137167) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: CET Bee, is there really no room for another cat in your establishment? Looks like you've been selected, as we were by our resident tomcat. If your number 1 cat gets on OK with the new one...? |
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30 Aug 07 - 07:32 PM (#2137201) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Stilly River Sage Paging Dawn French. . . paging Dawn French. . . |
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30 Aug 07 - 07:47 PM (#2137207) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Little Hawk Omigod. Lord protect us. |
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30 Aug 07 - 08:02 PM (#2137221) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Lonesome EJ I can sympathize. My Uncle Charles'cock has always been as dependable as the tides. This rooster was always up at the crack of dawn, and safely in the coop at sunset. Or at least that's the way it was until he left him with the school mistress next door. By the time he had returned some 9 days later, my Uncle discovered the rooster was never up before ten and could be found slumped over and senseless in the henyard at all hours of the night. The school ma'rm pleaded innocence, of course, only admitting to slapping him around a bit when he would follow his usual practice of eagerly popping up at around 4 am. But as far as being affectionate, that is far from the case with this particular rooster. He has a bad temperament and is notorious as a vicious pecker. He has always been unpredictable, uncontrollable, and disobedient, and it sounds as though my uncle's cock could certainly learn a thing or two from your pussy! |
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30 Aug 07 - 08:15 PM (#2137230) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Little Hawk Good God. It's getting worse. |
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30 Aug 07 - 09:07 PM (#2137249) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: katlaughing LOL with LeeJ! |
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30 Aug 07 - 09:10 PM (#2137252) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Bee-dubya-ell Has anybody seen Mike Hunt? |
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30 Aug 07 - 09:12 PM (#2137255) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Bee My Lord, is it gittin' hot in here? CET, I shall ensure the kitty's future one way or another - though I haven't seen it since yesterday morning now - I'm hoping it went back to wherever its mother is, but we shall see. Man I hate people who abandon pets to the wilds, to die or breed. |
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30 Aug 07 - 10:15 PM (#2137285) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: The Fooles Troupe Looking carefully at the thread title for some time, it dawned slowly on me that there could only be 'corruption' if something was used 'for improper purposes'... i.e. a 'purpose for which it was not designed/intended'... |
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30 Aug 07 - 11:58 PM (#2137343) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Bert Seriously though, there is a way to deal with the over affectionate pussy. You know, the one who wakes you up at 2:30 in the morning and demands attention. Often by presenting it's arse in your face. Counterattact is the remedy. Hold the beast down and start with the cat massage therapy, whether it likes it or not. Start with a good neck massage, then massage the face muscles, then go down the back, tail and legs. Don't be faint hearted, the beast needs a good healthy massage. Repeat until the cat cries "Uncle". It will like it at first but will soon find that beng held down is not really what it wants, then it will leave. The only drawback with this method is that the pussy will enjoy it at first, and will soon come back for more. But it might give you a couple of hours more sleep. |
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31 Aug 07 - 12:57 AM (#2137412) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Sandra in Sydney Like you Becca, I knew who started this thread! sandra |
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31 Aug 07 - 02:33 AM (#2137445) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Liz the Squeak I can't believe you would think this of poor, innocent little me!! Can I help it if the word 'cat' fell off the title bar? It only holds so much you know! LTS : ) |
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31 Aug 07 - 03:34 AM (#2137466) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Wilfried Schaum Having studied theology for some years I'd never trust a young vicar with a bottle of wine and a pussy at hand ... |
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31 Aug 07 - 04:46 AM (#2137492) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Herga Kitty Bee-dubya-ell's post at 9.10 yesterday reminded me of BBC Radio 4's Radio Active series - about a fictional radio station, with reporters called Mike Flex, Mike Channel, Mike Hunt, Uncle Mike Stand and Anna Daptor. (And Martin Brown, of course.) http://www.britishcomedy.org.uk/comedy/radioactive.htm I'm shocked to discover how long ago the original broadcasts were! Kitty |
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31 Aug 07 - 05:13 AM (#2137500) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: MBSLynne I saw the title of the thread and thought "That's GOT to be Liz!" Love Lynne |
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31 Aug 07 - 09:13 PM (#2138086) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: The Fooles Troupe "Can I help it if the word 'cat' fell off the title bar? It only holds so much you know!" And one's mind can only hold so much at once.... :-P |
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01 Sep 07 - 07:19 AM (#2138273) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Georgiansilver Unless you're just a 'pussy' |
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01 Sep 07 - 07:34 AM (#2138278) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: The Fooles Troupe Just a thought Liz, it could be the smell... No, no matter how I try to re phrase that, they just won't let it go... |
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01 Sep 07 - 11:28 PM (#2138694) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: GUEST,Cruz "It only holds so much you know!" As always when reading Lizzie's T&P threads (we have been spared the T&A threads thus far probably because Liz does not have a jack-azz in her backyard zoo with her pussies and tits), I am principally interested in the purely scientific/anatomical aspects of her exploits while disregarding the pejorative vulgarities. Therefore, are vestibular cavities less spacious in old England than they are in the Americas? Or do the rugae just exhibit greater density thereby limiting volumetric capacities? I do have a general question regarding the common vernaculars of old England. I am not for sure and for certain what a vicar is, so I looked it up. It has been said that scumbag Mr. Clinton used a cigar in a, well you know (t)what, during an Oval Office extracurricular session and I was wondering if Liz is in fact a misspelling dyslexic and she meant cigar instead of vicar? I can understand how a cigar could corrupt such a structure, a la Clinton's insertion technique, but not how an ecclesiastical, most likely celibate and saintly vicar could, especially if he was a Roman Catholic altar boy-liking vigar, er, vicar (see how easy that mistake was) In the English language, c and v and g are similar phonetically: cee vee gee. Therefore: Liz, this is a test: can you distinguish the differences between: dog and god? cig and vic? or cog and vog? or vig and vic? or gov and...? Lizzie, Liz, Liz, what ARE we going to do with you young lady? |
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02 Sep 07 - 12:15 AM (#2138708) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Stilly River Sage There went the neighborhood. |
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02 Sep 07 - 02:34 AM (#2138735) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Bert AW! squeaks, ya know I only think the best of you and your pussy. |
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02 Sep 07 - 05:58 AM (#2138771) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: autolycus i'm rather sorry that no-one has responded to the thoughts about womena and pussies in my 30.8, 4.30 post. i was hoping to learn something to my advantage. Ivor |
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02 Sep 07 - 09:31 AM (#2138822) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Alice Ivor, I read your message and it explains to me now why I like living alone! I no longer want to have a cat as a pet. When I was younger, I did have cats, and boyfriends, but when the last cat I had died, I said no more! That was about 17 years ago. I still have a dog. |
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02 Sep 07 - 10:54 AM (#2138854) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: autolycus Thanks Alice, just to say that, would you credit it, not all men are the same. There's a whole spectrum of us. And some of us don't reckon some others of us. oh, and I live alone, too. And that's not entirely because women are impossible. :-) Ivor |
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02 Sep 07 - 07:04 PM (#2139216) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Anne Lister Just a follow on note ... Our cat has now decided she *will* deign to eat cat food, and in fact the day after I posted to this thread she ate a vast amount, probably because she was famished. She does have an uncanny knack of knowing just what's on our menu in the fridge, however, and sits looking cuter than the cat from Shrek when she thinks she's got a chance. As to it not being healthy to feed her scraps - hah! The scraps in question are bits of meat, generally raw (she prefers it that way), not seasoned or sauced or otherwise messed around. It gives her some good exercise in chewing and she's one of the healthiest animals you'd ever wish to meet (oh, and a very youthful 15 or so human years old). Anne |
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02 Sep 07 - 07:18 PM (#2139226) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: GUEST,Bill the sound Are you sure it wasn't the vicar's son? I seem to remember something about him. |
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03 Sep 07 - 03:30 AM (#2139420) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Shanghaiceltic I am just waiting to hear from any of our friends across the pond about their pet beavers........ On a recent trip over seas one of the cats had problems with its fur...Jade told me (this was on the phone) that she had been to the pussy doctor and had it shaved....only later did she clarify that 'it' was the highly originally named 'Kitty' She now uses the terms 'vet' and 'cat' for clarity and for the sake of my health... |
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03 Sep 07 - 07:24 AM (#2139551) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Liz the Squeak The influence has obviously worn off... Since getting back from Wareham he's barely looked at me. Mind you... Severn did stroke it earlier. LTS |
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03 Sep 07 - 06:10 PM (#2140029) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: folk1e Liz...... you let Severn stroke your pussy?????? |
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03 Sep 07 - 06:17 PM (#2140039) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Liz the Squeak YEs... he saw my great tits too. LTS |
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03 Sep 07 - 06:46 PM (#2140068) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Georgiansilver Severn,,,your fame will now spread through all Christendom.....the universe even. |
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03 Sep 07 - 06:50 PM (#2140071) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: GUEST,Cruz Yes, another day that will live in infamy (or infirmity)... |
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04 Sep 07 - 10:04 AM (#2140578) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: The Fooles Troupe Infamy! Infamy! They've all got in Infamy! :-P I'll leave now.... |
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04 Sep 07 - 02:52 PM (#2140766) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: autolycus Honestly, LTS, you men ae all the same. Ivor |
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04 Sep 07 - 05:47 PM (#2140930) Subject: RE: BS: The vicar has corrupted my pussy From: Herga Kitty The vicar's corrupted my pussy The vicar's subverted my cat My moggy lies over the airwaves But the meejah don't care about that Kitty |
