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26 Oct 07 - 04:27 AM (#2179504) Subject: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: 3refs I was out for a walk in the bush this week with a new sporting rifle I just bought. I say sporting because I haven't hunted to kill anything in years(maybe decades). But, I can still hit just about anything that isn't living! Second shot for sure!!! Anyhow, I came across some bear stool and realized that should I encounter one or more(sow and cubs)I might be just a little outnumbered and under-gunned. So, it got me to thinking about what I'm supposed to do when I'm out for a walk in bear country with no rifle at all. Well, you should always carry bear spray and clip a little bell on your clothing so they have a better chance of hearing you and your not surprising them. Should you encounter one though don't run, EVER! Stand your ground and if they charge, charge back(kind of). Should you be lucky enough to step in some, there are a couple ways of distinguishing the stool of a Black Bear from that of a Grizzly. Black Bear dung is about the size of a big dogs, smells a little sour and will be full of roots and berries, maybe a little grass. Grizzly Bear stool on the other hand is quite large, pony size, smells really rancid, kind of like pepper spray and is usually full of meat and little bells!!!!! |
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26 Oct 07 - 04:52 AM (#2179512) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Big Al Whittle Never mind standing your ground, shoot the great hairy thing before your friends are searching for bits of you in the bear stools. |
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26 Oct 07 - 04:58 AM (#2179514) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: fat B****rd Thankyou 3refs. Next time I step in something horrible in Dunfermline High Street I'll know what to look for. |
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26 Oct 07 - 05:40 AM (#2179527) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: TheSnail Two bears were walking down Dunfermline High Street. One says to the other "Quiet here isn't it." |
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26 Oct 07 - 05:48 AM (#2179531) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: gnu "... what I'm supposed to do when I'm out for a walk in bear country with no rifle at all." Go back and get your rifle. |
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26 Oct 07 - 10:08 AM (#2179678) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Alaska Mike Two bears are having a picnic in the woods. First bear asks, "White wine or red?" Second bear replies, "White wine only with fishermen, the red is best with hunters." |
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26 Oct 07 - 10:32 AM (#2179697) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Bill D So....two bears meet in the woods in Minn-e-SO-ta, and one, plump & healthy notices that the other is skinny & bedraggled. "Hey....you don't look so good." says fat bear. "I know...I just keep losing weight.", says skinny bear. "Maybe it's your diet...what have you been eating?" "Why, Swedes, of course," he replies, "What else IS there to eat around here?" "Hmmmm...maybe it's your technique...show me how you do it." So they hide until a Swede walks by...and the skinny bear leaps out with a big roar and jumps on the Swede, and gobbles him up. "Ah..no wonder!", says fat bear. "You can't hunt Swedes like that! When you leap & roar, it scare the shit out of them, and when you jump on them, it knocks all the air out of them, and then there's hardly anything left!" (told to me by a Swede 40 years ago) |
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26 Oct 07 - 11:19 AM (#2179729) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Alice You wear bells so they can identify it was you when they find the bear scat with bells in it. |
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26 Oct 07 - 12:01 PM (#2179746) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Rapparee I was out walking in the hills West of town when I happened upon a grizzly -- with cubs. I remembered the advice I was given: do whatever the bear does. And the big bear reared up on her hind legs, raised her arms into the air, and growled, "RRRRRRRRRROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHH!" I raised my arms up into the air and went, ""RRRRRRRRRROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHH!" Then the bear squatted down and left a big, fresh pile right there in the path! "Ha ha!" I laughed. "I did that the first time you went "RRRRRRRRRROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHH!" |
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26 Oct 07 - 12:09 PM (#2179754) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: van lingle There is an exception to the "don't run" rule, however. It's okay to take flight if you're walking with your wife as you only have to outrun her and not the grizzly. |
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26 Oct 07 - 12:55 PM (#2179781) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Ebbie A Tlinget told me that when a bell rings, the bears call, Dinner! |
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26 Oct 07 - 01:29 PM (#2179807) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: gnu Bear feels the call of nature and squats. Notices a rabbit next to him and sees the little pellets. Asks the rabbit, "Does shit stick to your fur?" Rabbit: "No." Bear: "Good."... and picks the rabbit up and wipes. |
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26 Oct 07 - 01:35 PM (#2179812) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: gnu Bob is hunting black bear and takes one. About to clean it, he sets his gun against a tree and bends down. A brown bear appears and humps Bob. Bob is at home, very sore and mad. A few days later, he goes after brown bear and takes one. Same deal, but this time, it's a grizzly. Bob has to go to the emerg and then spends a week at home, in extreme and very mad. Finally, he is well and goes after grizzly. Same deal, but, when the polar bear appears, it says, "You don't come here for the hunting, do you Bob." |
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26 Oct 07 - 01:37 PM (#2179814) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Megan L GNU stand by to be skelped |
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26 Oct 07 - 01:57 PM (#2179837) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Rapparee A local minister was hiking up in the hills when he was confronted by a very large and very, very angry grizzly. Not knowing what else to do, he dropped to his knees, closed his eyes, and started to pray, "Oh Lord, Father of all, let this be a Christian bear!" Since nothing had happened for a few seconds he opened his eyes and lo! the bear, too, was kneeling in prayer. And the minister heard, "Lord, for what we are about to eat, we thank Thee...." |
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26 Oct 07 - 02:51 PM (#2179880) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: open mike I DID (I really did) see a bear in my driveway the other night. the first time in over 30 years i have seen one on my property. I have seen bear poop, when the berries are ripe...especially manzanita berries. see this sheet music for the The Preacher and the Bear |
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26 Oct 07 - 02:54 PM (#2179883) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: open mike see also Waltzing with Bears |
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26 Oct 07 - 03:19 PM (#2179902) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: gnu Ya know, the old question, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" is wrong, eh. They will if there isn't a woods road within a "comfortable" distance. Otherwise, dead centre of the road... same as a coyote. Foxes also if there is a mound of some type, but, if not, they prefer the upside of ditches. Just some shit I know about. |
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26 Oct 07 - 03:26 PM (#2179905) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Bat Goddess I live in the woods in Nottingham, New Hampshire. I've never seen a black bear in our neighborhood. However...in higher trafficked, more populated areas, ayuh. A couple months ago I left work a bit early and was driving on Rte. 151 in North Hampton about 3:15 in the afternoon. Within sight of I-95 (coastal side) and just before Sagamore-Hampton golf course, there is a small "field" -- actually more of a double house lot that's mowed. Anywho, as I drove by I saw a really good sized black bear just standing there not moving. I did a double-take -- is this what it looks like or is it a LAWN ornament?!? Checked the rear view mirror and it was gallumphing across the road. Must have been real! Before that, one late afternoon/early evening in August (must have been around 6 p.m.) I was driving on highly trafficked Rte. 125 within sight of the Lee Traffic Circle (2 strip malls, McDonald's, Wendy's, 2 convenience store/gas stations, etc.) intersection with Rte. 4. There was a dark figure on the right side of the road -- brain asked, dog? Nope, young black bear. Not a cub, but not adult. Probably adolescent. He ran across the road in front of me and and disappeared into the scrub behind the motorcycle shop. Curmudgeon's jealous -- wants to know why HE doesn't get to see any bears. Around here they're actually more likely to be seen in more highly developed areas because there's more food available -- trash, pet food, etc. -- than out in our 33 acre wooded "back yard". A friend sent me a great JPG of a half dozen black bears walking down a black topped road -- labeled "New Hampshire Street Gangs". Linn |
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26 Oct 07 - 03:32 PM (#2179909) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: gnu Wasn't there a black bear mauling some kid somewhere in New England just last week? |
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26 Oct 07 - 03:35 PM (#2179910) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Ebbie Well, this summer I had a bear in my house. Totally unafraid. Took a swipe at my dog when she charged it, barking. Turned and went out when I advanced upon it, banging my walking stick on furniture and yelling. It took weeks for my dog to calm down; even yet when she and I enter the alley outside our door she races ahead barking furiously. And for a week she slept stretched out in front of the entry door. It's nice to know that my adrenal glands are in real good shape. :) |
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26 Oct 07 - 03:37 PM (#2179912) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: GUEST,petr two guys went bear hunting, they saw a sign that said BEAR LEFT so they went home. |
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26 Oct 07 - 03:59 PM (#2179930) Subject: Lyr Add: GOD'S OWN DRUNK (Lord Buckley) From: open mike GOD'S OWN DRUNK By: Lord Buckley Well, like to explain to you all before, I ain't no drinkin' man I tried it once and it got me highly irregular And I swore I'd never do it again I promised my brother-in-law that I'd go up watch his still While he went into town to vote It was right up on the mountain where the map said it would be Friends let me tell you one thing, tho it wasn't no ordinary still It stood up on that mountainside like a huge golden opal God's yeller moon shinin' on the cool clear evenin' God's little lanterns twinklin' on and off in the heavens Like I explained to you once before I ain't no drinkin' man But temptation got the best of me And I took a slash That yella whiskey runnin' down my throat like honeydew vine water And I took another slash, Took another'n an another'n an another'n For you knew I'd downed one whole jug of that shit and commenced to gettin' hot flashes Goose pimples was runnin' up and down my body And a feelin' came over me like somethin' I'd never experienced before It was like, like I was in love In love for the first time, with anything that moved Animate, inanimate it didn't matter It's like there's a great neon sign flashin' on an' off in my brain sayin' "Jimmy Buffett there's a great day a-comin'" `Cause I was drunk I wasn't knee-crawlin', slip-slidin', Reggie-Youngin' Commode-huggin' drunk I was God's own drunk and a fearless man And that's when I first saw the bear He was a Kodiak lookin' fella `bout nineteen feet tall He rambled up over the hill expectin' me to do one of two things, Flip or fly, I didn't do either one It hung him up He started sniffin' around my body tryin' to smell fear But he ain't gonna smell no fear `cause I'm God's own drunk and a fearless man It hung him up He looked right in my eyes, and my eyes was a lot redder than his was It hung him up So I approached him, I said "Mr. Bear, I love every hair on your twenty-seven-acre body I know you got a lot of friends over there on the other side of the hill There's ole' rare bear, tall bear, Freddy bear, Kelly bear Really bear, smelly the bear, smokey the bear, pokey the bear I want you to go back over there tonight And tell them I'm feelin' right You tell them I love each and every one of them like a brother and a sister But if they give me any trouble tonight I'm gonna run every God damn one of them off the hill" He took two steps backwards and didn't know what to think Neither did I but bein' charitable and cautious Well hell I approached him again I said "Mr. Bear, You know in the eyes of the Lord we're both beasts when it comes right down to it So I want you to be my buddy, Buddy bear" So I took ole' buddy bear by his island size paw and I led him over to the still He's a sniffin' around that thing cause he's smellin' somethin' good I gave him one of them jugs of honeydew vine water He downed it up right Looked like one of them damn bears in the circus Sippin' sasparilly in the moonlight I gave him another'n an another'n an another'n For I knew it he downed eight of them and commenced to doin' the bear dance Two snips, a snort, a fly turn, and a grunt It was so simple like the jitter bug It plum evaded me We worked ourselves into a tumultuous uproar And I was awful tired and went over to the hillside and I laid down and went to sleep Slept for four hours and dreamt me some tremulous dreams When I woke up, there was God's yeller moon shinin' on the clear cool evenin' God's little lanterns twinklin' on and off in the heavens My buddy the bear was a missin' Want to know something else friends and neighbors So was that still |
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26 Oct 07 - 09:24 PM (#2180184) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Joe_F A pious Jew was walking in the woods when he suddenly came face to face with a huge, ravenous bear. What could he do? He knelt down, put on his yarmulke, and said the Shema. Then he looked up and saw that the bear, too, had put on a yarmulke. God be praised! he thought, A Jewish bear! Then he heard the bear saying, "...hamotsi lehem min ha-arets". (Glosses for the goyim: Yarmulke, skullcap; men cover their heads to pray. The Shema, the confession of faith. "Hamotsi...", "Who bringest forth bread from the earth", the end of the traditional grace before a meal.) |
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26 Oct 07 - 10:48 PM (#2180217) Subject: Lyr Add: THE BEAR SONG (Laurie Lewis) From: open mike THE BEAR SONG by Laurie Lewis Well far away in the north country there lives a fiddler fair The townsfolk call him Moon Mad John, the brother to the bear. Well Moon Mad John has a tale to tell, to all who set awhile The children listen eagerly, while the grownups only smile. "It was in the winter of '25, I was checkin' my traps one day, When a storm come howlin' from the north and I did lose my way. I soon was cold and hungry, and the darkness did come down, I knew my death was closin' in, and the wolves were howlin' round. I wandered round as in a daze and I fell down on the ground. I don't know how long I lay there when I was wakened by a sound. All through the trees I peered, may lightnin' strike if I'm a liar, I saw big shadows movin' slow, and the flickerin' of the fire. Oh the bears were all a'gathered there, dancin' and playin' fiddles And the finest fiddler I ever did see was the big bear in the middle. They took me in and they sat me down and the fire did thaw my feet They gave me food and wine to drink and soon I fell asleep. And when I awoke next morning, the day was clear and bright. The snow lay trampled all about but there was not a bear in sight. So three days south I travelled till I came to my own front door. I threw all my guns and my traps away, and I never did hunt no more. And now you've heard my story, and the proof is in the tune That the bears did play when they saved my life, under the winter moon. |
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27 Oct 07 - 12:35 AM (#2180267) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: JennieG We have drop bears in Oz.....they wait until an unsuspecting tourist is walking under their tree and down they fall...... No, I have never seen one myself but I have been told about them. And I believe it. Absolutely positively. Cheers JennieG |
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27 Oct 07 - 10:07 AM (#2180428) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Alaska Mike I was inspecting a newly installed vehicle scale in Dillingham in western Alaska years ago. I was underneath the device making sure it had been installed correctly when the scale operator yelled at me to watch out for the bear. Sure enough, there was an enormous grizzly sniffing and snuffling outside the scale. He was only 5 or 10 feet from me but, to my good fortune, on the other side of several tons of steel. We watched each other for a few minutes before he wandered off and I crawled out from under the scale. Mike |
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27 Oct 07 - 12:13 PM (#2180483) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: gnu Was that a tare-or weight? Hey... I tried. |
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29 Oct 07 - 08:49 AM (#2181720) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: gnu Or, you could just moosey around the neighbourhood. |
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17 Sep 09 - 03:06 PM (#2725527) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: gnu Tight asshole time. |
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17 Sep 09 - 04:44 PM (#2725591) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Rapparee Do you know what caused his pants to rip? I could make a guess, but.... |
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16 Aug 20 - 01:59 PM (#4068567) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: keberoxu Oh, the bears, the hungry, hungry bears, are out raiding the dumpsters and knocking over the dustbins, strewing garbage and trash all around, they are, they are, they are. |
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16 Aug 20 - 02:40 PM (#4068572) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Donuel There are bears and there are black bears https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU_UsaUdYvg Same with some sharks who love their heads rubbed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux2-eZpSI_0 Intelligent animals are like dogs who appreciate affection. |
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16 Aug 20 - 02:45 PM (#4068575) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: keberoxu Oh, dear. This is how people set up bears to be targets later, whether or not it is on purpose. |
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16 Aug 20 - 02:49 PM (#4068576) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: leeneia There's a YouTube video showing a mother bear and cubs frolicking in somebody's freestanding pool. At one point, the wife of the house expresses surprise, and the husband says "What do expect when we live here?" I wondered where "here" was. Alaska, Smoky Mountains, Rockies? No, I finally found out it was New Jersey. That was a surprise. |
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16 Aug 20 - 02:54 PM (#4068577) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: leeneia Here's a National Park page with good advice on what to do when you encounter a bear talk to me |
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16 Aug 20 - 09:39 PM (#4068601) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Murpholly Algy met a bear A bear met Algy The bear had a bulge The bulge was Algy |
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16 Aug 20 - 10:40 PM (#4068606) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Rapparee People move into the hills around here. The hills are alive with the sound of black bears, grizzlies, mountain lions, wolves, coyotes, foxes, and similar assorted predators. Then the people wonder where little Po-po Poodle and Ki-ki Kitty went when they were let outdoors...and if they are unlucky, little Bobby and Susy. Me, if I go walking up in them thar hills I take b'ar spray AND a largish handgun. The latter is not to shoot the critter, but to shoot the dirt and hopefully scare it away. Us human-types are trespassing, whether we're Euros or Shoban or whatever. |
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17 Aug 20 - 01:35 PM (#4068650) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: leeneia I find it interesting that the National Park page says to talk softly to the bear to let it know that you are a human. IIRC, bears are near-sighted, and I suppose to them an approaching human might just be a mysterious blurry shape. Singing old ballads might work just as well, and that way you don't have to worry about what to say. There's a problem with that handgun idea, Rap. If you shoot into the ground and the bullet hits a buried rock, the bullet can shatter, sending fragments in unpredictable directions. The fragments are travelling fast and can be just as lethal as they bullet they came from. What if there's somebody on the trail ahead of you and you haven't seen them yet? =========== Last year we visited Shenandoah National Park, and we were told we wouldn't see a bear because the bears are shy and keep to the deep woods. Then one night about ten o'clock we were driving on the Blue Ridge Parkway and a bear crossed in front of us. |
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18 Aug 20 - 10:45 AM (#4068724) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Charmion Oh, Donuel, do not -- I say again, DO NOT -- try to caress a wild animal, or indeed any individual of any undomesticated species. Yes, they are intelligent, and yes, they may enjoy a head-rub, but they are not pets and they do not think as you may believe they do. It is safest, for both you and the beast, to assume that a large animal such as a bear is primarily interested in finding out whether you might be crunchy and good even without ketchup. You don't have to go far on the Internet to find a discouraging story about some idiot who got mangled in an attempt to get familiar with a non-human non-human apex predator. I grew up in the Ottawa Valley, where bears are common and attacks are called "bear strikes". People who turn their backs on small children at camp sites learn the hard way just how fast bears move and how un-cute they can be without even trying. |
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18 Aug 20 - 12:41 PM (#4068738) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Charmion's brother Andrew This is about as close as you should get to bears, especially a sow with cubs. It is a better idea, however, to keep your dumpsters locked. |
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18 Aug 20 - 10:15 PM (#4068789) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Rapparee I wouldn't, and will not, shoot at rocks. Also, I would be carrying a revolver with LEAD bullets, which squash on hard surfaces rather than ricochet or shatter (although the rock might shatter). I would in all probability load it with blanks. I don't want to kill anything, just frighten it off. The only weapon I can think of that would probably drop a bear around here is a 12 gauge(bore)shotgun shooting solid slugs...and even then it's iffy. Bear spray is better, assuming that, like firearms, you know how to use it. |
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20 Aug 20 - 06:25 PM (#4068993) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: keberoxu Thank you, Charmion's brother, for that video of the mama bear and her three cubs, which I had never seen before. |
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24 Jun 21 - 06:40 PM (#4111267) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: keberoxu The bears are taking over the state of Massachusetts, at least at either end, east or west: there is a black bear at large near the Atlantic Coast which has been nicknamed Boo Boo and has yet to be caught, although sightings are rife. And it was only this month that I saw a relatively small bear in the parking lot where I am staying, in Berkshire County, a short driving distance from New York or Connecticut. She might be a sow, a young one. |
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24 Jun 21 - 10:49 PM (#4111282) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: robomatic Well, I've been writing about my Covid activity of dog-walking. We have a regular route which takes me up to a mile and a half from my house well inside Anchorage city limits. Yesterday a car drove by and the nice lady inside said that a moose calf's body had been found half buried behind the ice rink. The unsaid part of that tale is that a bear likely caught killed and buried the calf and will come back to it. The police were doing something about it. I'm not sure what they'll do, but at the least it will involve removing the calf's body. We saw a cow moose in the area, but by then we'd armed ourselves with bear spray. Same thing today. I have seen a black bear walking down the sidewalk within walking distance of my house last year when the city was mostly shut down due to Covid. We are coming out of the inactive era with the Summer weather and extensive vaccination campaign. So the animals' vacation is ending. Too bad. I've been seeing bald eagles around, which is unusual so close to the municipality. |
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26 Jun 21 - 03:43 PM (#4111498) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: keberoxu Bears walking on the sidewalk. That says something right there. I take it, this was not after dark either. |
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11 Aug 21 - 11:02 AM (#4116169) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: keberoxu This video from the Reuters News Service shows a bear venturing inside a supermarket during daylight hours, somewhere around Los Angeles, California. The video of the bear, and still photos after the bear was tranquilized |
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11 Aug 21 - 09:57 PM (#4116243) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: robomatic Have not seen more bear but yesterday dogwalking came upon a young moose. It was yearling size and may or may not have had a mother in the vicinity so we retreated. Probably a good experience for the dog. |
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19 Jul 22 - 09:22 AM (#4147809) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: keberoxu Watch out for those Kamchatka brown bears in the Russian Federation! A plane with three people on board went down in Kamchatka peninsula. Their "distressed remains" were found a few days later . . . |
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19 Jul 22 - 04:45 PM (#4147867) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Donuel Before 5 AM there are only Doe with their fawns in the yard. No Bears. |
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20 Jul 22 - 04:19 AM (#4147923) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: Ebbie Everyone here has a bear story or two or five. I myself have had at least three close encounters. But this beats all: One local man was napping on his couch one day with the outside door wide open because it was a hot day. He woke up to find a bear licking the sweat off his bare (bear?) chest. |
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24 Jul 22 - 08:22 AM (#4148222) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: keberoxu hmmmmm. Bears and salt licks?? The local bears visited our residence in the night and turned over the garbage can, leaving trash strewn all over the parking area; then the crows got to it and strewed (?) the garbage even further. |
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24 Jul 22 - 03:47 PM (#4148238) Subject: RE: BS: Walking with the Bears! From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh Plenty of bears around here at this time of year, not just walking but marching, though we tend to pronounce the word "Berrs". |