29 Oct 07 - 10:41 AM (#2181844) Subject: songs that made us laugh From: topical tom What songs made you laugh over the years? I know there is an infinite number but I hope we can recall some and laugh all over again. God knows, in this bizarre, insane world we need it! Here's a starter sung by Camille West: VIAGRA IN THE WATERS Just outside of Johnson City On a dark and twisting road In a Kenworth 18-wheeler With a heavy, shifting loadTake one with a glass of water and call me when you get up. He was pushing through to Binghamton Though the hour was getting late Pfyzer's finest on a mission To the pharmacies upstate He was on a holy mission There were men who couldn't wait (for his twenty thousand pounds of Viagra®) He'd clocked seven hundred miles Since he climbed into the rig Just another twenty five or so Would finish up that gig But the trailer hit an oil slick And down the hill did fly 'til it landed at the bottom in the town's water supply It was instant rigor mortis What a hard way to die Chorus: Save your sons Shield your daughters There's Viagra® In the waters All over Johnson City People rising with the dawn They drank their morning coffee, Took their showers, watered lawns And who could have predicted All the changes up ahead? Men were getting up for work, And heading back to bed So many called in sick, You would have thought a virus spread Down at the courthouse coffee shop Some stared in disbelief As a pack of thirsty lawyers Started filling out their briefs But at the local college Young men appeared much smarter No chromosomal mystery They simply studied harder Now water on the rocks Is the latest party starter Chorus The Johnson City firemen Cursed their wretched luck They could not get their fire hoses Wound back on the truck Sprinkling holy water at a funeral, Father Ryan said "I know I've saved their souls, but I've never raised the dead. Would a couple strong men help me now To close the casket lid?" Old man Weisberg Took the shower of his life Then he marched into the kitchen And he called out to his wife She knew something was up As he stood naked at the table Holding two cups of coffee And half a dozen bagels It had been at least a decade Since the last time he was able Chorus Believers seeking miracles The pilgrims came in hordes The waters of Viagra® Grew more popular than Lourdes The clergy quoted scripture But they found it hard to sell That those who chose to be anointed Were pointed straight to hell Despite the dire warnings The crowds began to swell Some hardened politicians Came into town one day With their permits and their pipelines Pumped the waters all away From the heart of Johnson City Rose the mournful cry of men But the women knew another truck Was coming through again Don't worry—there's a truck next week We'll spread the oil again Chorus |
29 Oct 07 - 11:53 AM (#2181923) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: GUEST,Neil D This wasn't a folk song and it didn't even have lyrics but I remember having a 45 by Martin Mull that had "Dueling Tubas" as the A- side and the much funnier "2001 Polka" as the B-side. It was the "2001 Overture" performed as a polka and it really cracked me up. |
29 Oct 07 - 12:01 PM (#2181932) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego A Canadian duo of some repute, Bowser and Blue, were commissioned to write a celebratory song for a conference of colo-rectal surgeons. Delivered in a mock-serious performance, they "brought the house down," with the teary-eyed doctors convulsing in laughter. When my son played it for me, I nearly did the same. I don't have all the lyrics, but I do recall the following: "We praise the colorectal surgeon, Misunderstood and much maligned; Slaving away in the heart of darkness, Workin' where the sun don't shine." I'm sure the rest is out there on the "net" somewhere. |
29 Oct 07 - 01:18 PM (#2181998) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Azizi I like Weird Al Yankovic's parodies. They make me smile. Sometimes they even make me chuckle. Does that count? I hope so since I'm far too serious to actually laugh out loud. Here's YouTube videos of two of his songs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o946egIVnbI Weird Al Yankovic- My Bologna ** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_JIg9NB47M Weird Al Yankovic - I Lost On Jeopardy |
29 Oct 07 - 01:21 PM (#2182002) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: John Hardly Christine Lavin Andy Breckman Tim Wilson Heywood Banks Chuck Brodskey (Blow 'Em Away) |
29 Oct 07 - 01:42 PM (#2182017) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: topical tom Azizi: LOL Smiling, chuckling, grinning, and chortling are all allowed! Thanks for the funny links. |
29 Oct 07 - 01:47 PM (#2182020) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Carol Parody of (I will take you home) Kathleen, Ten Pints of Tetleys, and at a the moment Will the Turtle be unbroken etc.!! Oh and the seroius one where he gives her 'the secrtet sign' always maked me chuckle. |
29 Oct 07 - 02:44 PM (#2182065) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Little Robyn Many of Les Barker's poems including the turtle. Robyn |
29 Oct 07 - 02:45 PM (#2182067) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: GUEST,Neil D " Wildwood Weed " by Jim Stafford |
29 Oct 07 - 03:40 PM (#2182097) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Azizi You're welcome I'm sure, topical tom. Here's a song from the play "Little Shop Of Horrors" that makes me smile-but not too widely, if you get my drift :) DENTIST! [ORIN] When I was younger, just a bad little kid, My mama noticed funny things I did, Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun I'd poison guppies, and when I was done I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head That's when my mama said [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON] What did she say? [ORIN] She said, "My boy, I think someday You'll find a way To make your natural tendencies pay You'll be a dentist You have a talent for causin' things pain Son, be a dentist People will pay you to be inhumane Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood And teaching would suit you still less Son, be a dentist You'll be a success [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON] Here he is, folks the leader of the plaque! Watch him suck up that gas! Oh, my god! He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade? [PATIENT] Oh that hurts! I'm not numb! [ORIN] Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come! I am your dentist [PATIENT] Goodness gracious! [ORIN] And I enjoy the career that I picked [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON] Really love it [ORIN] I am your dentist [PATIENT] Fitting braces [ORIN] And I get off on the pain I inflict [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON] Really love it [ORIN] I thrill when I drill a bicuspid [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON] Bicuspid [ORIN] It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted And though it may cause my patients distress, Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me I know, I know, that my mama's proud of me Oh, mama 'Cause I'm a dentist and a success Say ah! [PATIENT] Ah! [ORIN] Say ah! [PATIENT] Ah! [ORIN] Say ah! [PATIENT] Ah! [ORIN] Now spit! http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/littleshopofhorrors/dentist.htm ** Here's the YouTube clip from the movie-Steve Martin is great in the role of the dentist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSJSzLWsUTc :o)) |
29 Oct 07 - 03:50 PM (#2182104) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Amos Don't forget the hundreds and hundreds of songs collected by Aine under the heading of SONG CHALLENGE submissions, still safely lodged in the Mudcat Songbook. Some of those were enough to make you spit soup on your keyboard. A |
29 Oct 07 - 03:53 PM (#2182106) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Beer Some of "Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers" songs are very entertaining. Group from Newfoundland. Must check if "You Tube' has anything by them. Beer (adrien) |
29 Oct 07 - 03:56 PM (#2182107) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: fat B****rd It's a bit early but I love Bob Rivers' Christmas parodies, especially "Walking Round In Women's Underwear" |
29 Oct 07 - 04:06 PM (#2182113) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Azizi Here's an old school rap song that I think is chuckle worthy: ["John Wayne" rapping] RAPPIN DUKE {Shawn Brown, 1984} So you think you're bad, with your rap Well, I'll tell ya, pilgrim. I started the crap When you were in diapers and wetting the sheets I was at the Ponderosa rapping to the beat Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Sure, I rustled some cattle and tended the sheep But my main concern was rapping to the beat I don't bother nobody, I'm a real nice guy, kinda laid back like a, dead fly Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh I'm talkin', here and now Later for the cattle and rustlin' the cow If I had a chance to do a repeat You can bet your sweet bippy I'd be rappin' to the beat Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Que pasa, amigos? Not a *pasa* I see Two hundred punks? Well, what ya gonna do? I got two six shooters that'll see me through That's, twelve dead... and a hundred and eighty-eight pallbearers Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh What I do on your grave won't pass for flowers, either Now Kurtis Blow, Run-D.M.C. You haven't heard of rap, 'til ya heard it from me I'm the baddest rapper in history And there'll be no more, after me Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Meanwhile, back at the ranch Santa Barbara that is Swimmin' pools, and movie stars Well, the first thing ya know ol' Ron's the President The kinfolk said, "Ron, move away from there" Said, "In The White House is where you wanna be" So he loaded up the Lincoln and he moved to D.C. Washington, that is Politicians taking a sip Foreign dignitaries taking a trip High tax and plenty Cadillacs Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Now ya see me in my movies, doin my thing But deep in my heart, I've wanted to sing "Wayyyy dowwwn, upon the swannnny riverrrrrr Farrrr, farrr awayyy Titwillow, titwillow, titwillow" I don't think, that's your style But I'll tell ya pilgrim, I'm versatile Aretha Franklin, Aretha Franklin Aretha Franklin let me rock ya let me rock ya Aretha Franklin Let me rock ya Aretha Franklin; that's all I wanna do Aretha Franklinnnnnn Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh I'm feeelin' the groove now, pilgrim Party, over here Party, over there There's nothin to it, the way we do it Woop woop! East coast, West coast Texas Every time I put on pants I tell ya pilgrim, I wanna dance I put a quarter, in the juke' Then I commence, to doin the Duke Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh It's pretty easy, if you can see Just move your arms kinda freely Do a pause, and take a step And just make sure the beat is kept Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh I was at the Ponderosa rappin' to the beat Tryin' to cool off from the desert heat I discovered somethin, really neat The Duke has moves, with his feet Da haahh... da haahh Da haahh... da haahh I won plenty of ladies, with my charms But they like me the most for the moves of my arms Woahhh... woahhh I'm gonna rap, in the East Gonna rap, in the West I'll show ya pilgrim, who's the best Nothin' to it, the way we do it Skiddely-be-bop, we-bop, Scooby Doo Guess what, America, we love you Da hahhhh, da hahhhh, da hahhhh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Everybody Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh... http://www.themadmusicarchive.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=8558 ** And here's a YouTube sound clip {no video} http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=rapping+duke&search=Search Shawn Brown - "Rappin' Duke" |
29 Oct 07 - 04:06 PM (#2182115) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Y_Not Jake Thackray (RIP) was a great wordsmith and I can still laugh at Sister Josephine to name but one. |
29 Oct 07 - 05:30 PM (#2182178) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego I almost forgot the "semi-immortal" Tom Lehrer, the Harvard professor who was king of the humorous topical commentary song for a brief time. He suddenly stopped performing and recording to return to his first love, teaching - mathmatics, I believe. Reissue CD's are available. Some of his all-time hits were, "Rickety Tickety Tin," "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" and "Be Prepared (The Boy Scouts' Marching Song)." To wit: "About a young maiden I'll sing a song, Sing rickety, tickety tin; About a young maiden I'll sing a song, Who surely did her family wrong. Not only did she do them wrong, But she did every one of them in, them in; She did every one of them in." |
29 Oct 07 - 06:51 PM (#2182241) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Rumncoke The parody of 'all the little chickens in the garden' - being 'all the great big gobblers in the garden.' always cracks me up. |
29 Oct 07 - 07:19 PM (#2182262) Subject: Lyr Add: THE BALLAD OF IRVING (Frank Gallop) From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego Not to monopolize, but I just recalled a very arcane bit of musical trivia from the days of the old Perry Como TV show. His announcer, a fellow named Frank Gallop, recorded the following - an unexpected hit which received a lot of air play in the early 1960's: The Ballad of Irving Frank Gallop - Available on LP _When You're In Love, The Whole World Is Jewish_, originally released on Kapp Records KRL-4506 in 1966, but re-released in 1993 on Rhino Records CD/CS 71084, paired with _You Don't Have To Be Jewish_. - also released as a single, 1966. - also available on _Dr. Demento's 20th Anniversary Collection_, Rhino Records CD/CS 70743, 1991. He was short and fat, and rode out of the West With a Mogen David on his silver vest. He was mean and nasty right clear through, Which was kinda weird, 'cause he was yellow too. They called him Irving. Big Irving. Big, short Irving. Big, short, fat Irving. The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West. He came from the old Bar Mitzvah spread, With a 10-gallon yarmulke on his head.* [see below] He always followed his mother's wishes, Even on the range he used two sets of dishes. Irving. Big, fat Irving. Big sissy Irving. The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West. A hundred and forty-one could draw faster than he, But Irving was looking for one forty-three. Walked into Sol's Saloon like a man insane, And ordered three fingers of two cents plain. Irving. Big, fat Irving. Big sport Irving. The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West. ---------------- [The following lines were edited out of the original release, and are only in the version available on Dr. Demento's 20th Anniversary Collection.] One day Bad Max happened into town. His aim was to shoot fat Irving down. Bad Max said, "Draw, and draw right now!" And Irving drew, drew a picture of a cow. Irving. Big, fat Irving. Big gunfighter Irving. The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West. ---------------- The James Boys was comin' on a train at first sun, And the town said, "Irving, we need your gun." When that train pulled in at the break of dawn, Irving's gun was there, but Irving was gone. Irving. Big, fat Irving. Big help, Irving. The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West. Well, finally Irving got three slugs in the belly. It was right outside the Frontier Deli. He was sittin' there twirlin' his gun around, And butterfingers Irving gunned himself down! Irving. Big, fat Irving. Big dum-dum Irving. Big dum-dum dead Irving. The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West. Really. *The line about the 10-gallon yarmulke was on the original LP, but the single version and subsequent LP pressings substituted the line: Schlepping a salami and pumpernickel bread. This substitution was made because the record company felt the joke would be lost on non-Jewish listeners. |
29 Oct 07 - 07:52 PM (#2182296) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: kendall A parody on "Fox on the run" by Woodchuck's Revenge. |
29 Oct 07 - 08:06 PM (#2182307) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Neil D Adam Sandler: The Chanukah Song |
29 Oct 07 - 08:15 PM (#2182311) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: john f weldon Tons of songs by... Bernard Wrigley (Fisherman's Friend) The Berrymans (Mr & Mrs Noah) Tom Lehrer (my Home Town) Gilbert and Sullivan (I've Got a Little List) Flanders and Swann ("The Gasman Cometh") Also "Jump" by Dudley Moore. |
29 Oct 07 - 08:27 PM (#2182320) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: oldhippie "Mama Was A Deadhead" and others by (Rev) Billy C Wirtz |
29 Oct 07 - 09:15 PM (#2182347) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: john f weldon Old Blevins by the Austin Lounge Lizards http://www.austinlizards.com/old_blevins.html |
01 Nov 07 - 09:24 PM (#2184699) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Neil D Here's a funny one that could have also been posted on the religious songs thread. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwYQBV66rbM |
01 Nov 07 - 09:26 PM (#2184702) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Neil D Oops! Forgot to blue clicky. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwYQBV66rbM |
01 Nov 07 - 09:49 PM (#2184721) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: bankley a lot of songs by Erik Frandsen... and a fine player to boot |
02 Nov 07 - 12:45 PM (#2185112) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: GUEST,Aoliandorian Vampire Rag Heritage PLR040 Loads of puns on the Hammer Vampire films genre |
11 Nov 07 - 10:47 AM (#2191165) Subject: Lyr Add: HELLO MUDDAH, HELLO FADDAH (Allan Sherman From: Azizi Here's a song that makes me smile: HELLO MUDDAH HELLO FADDAH {Allan Sherman} Hello, Muddah! Hello, Fadduh! Here I am at Camp Granada. Camp is very entertaining, And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining. I went hiking with Joe Spivy. He developed poison ivy. You remember Lynnard Skynnard? He got ptomaine poinsoning last night after dinner. All the counselors hate the waiters. And the lake has alligators. And the head coach wants no sissies, So he reads to us from something called Ulysses. Now I don't want this to scare ya, But my bunk mate has malaria. You remember Jeffrey Hardy? They're about to organize a searching party. Take me home. Oh Muddah, Fadduh, Take me home. I hate Granada. Don't leave me Out in the forest where, I might Get eaten by a bear. Take me home. I promise I will not make noise, Or mess the house with other boys. Oh, please don't make me stay, I've been here one whole day. Dearest Fadduh, Darling Muddah, How's my precious, little bruddah? Let me come home if you miss me. I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me! Wait a minute! It's stopped hailing. Guys are swimming. Guys are sailing. Playing baseball. Gee! That's better. Muddah, Fadduh, kindly disregard this letter! http://www.lyricsdownload.com/allan-sherman-hello-muddah-hello-faddah-lyrics.html Here's a YouTube video of this song with Harry Potter clips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7e9geRIkBE |
11 Nov 07 - 11:28 AM (#2191200) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Peter K (Fionn) Tom Lehrer: I got it from Agnes |
11 Nov 07 - 01:19 PM (#2191283) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Rog Peek Heard this on the radio one night: On the bosom of young Abigail Was written the price of her tail And on her behind for the sake of the blind Was the same information in Braille. Made me chuckle! Rog |
11 Nov 07 - 02:28 PM (#2191332) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: goatfell I sang that song Rog Peek and I was accused as a sexist by a student.(female). I think it is a great song about Abigail, I still don't know what the song is about but I have a fair idea. |
11 Nov 07 - 03:10 PM (#2191381) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Rog Peek Similarly Arran, I was once accused of being racist when I sang 'The Bricklayer's Song'. I think I told the person not to be so bloody silly. Rog |
11 Nov 07 - 03:28 PM (#2191393) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: number 6 "The Intro and The Outro" ... by the Bonzos. biLL |
11 Nov 07 - 03:48 PM (#2191412) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: pdq "Old Blevins" by the Austin Lounge Lizards, as mentioned, is great but the rest of the CD ain't so hot. Try their "Employee of the Month" where almost all the material is brilliant. Steve Goodman's "Vegematic" is a classic, but he had help writing it (from Shel Silverstein). |
11 Nov 07 - 04:07 PM (#2191421) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: KT Anything by the Canote Brothers. Their performances are always full of laughs! Even if the lyrics weren't funny, their pure joy is contagious! Just spent a good chunck of the weekend with them. Check 'em out if you get the chance! delightful! Canote Brothers KT |
11 Nov 07 - 04:45 PM (#2191456) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: fretless "Panama Red," which I remember as being sung by the Seldon Scene. "I'd Have Written You a Letter But I Couldn't Spell *phhhphzt*" [razberry sound], an anti-love ballad |
11 Nov 07 - 05:45 PM (#2191523) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: topical tom Thanks to everyone! A load of laughs! Azizi, I remember having an LP from Kaytel (remember them?)and how my children loved that song! Great songs, everyone! Keep them coming! |
11 Nov 07 - 05:49 PM (#2191529) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Azizi Kaytel? I'm sorry topical tom, I don't remember them. Am I having a senior moment, pray tell! |
11 Nov 07 - 06:14 PM (#2191543) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: pdq ...odds and ends: K-Tel was a record company, based in Canada, that sold cheap collection records of songs from the 60s and 70s (mostly). Seldom Scene may have done "Panama Red" but probably not. It is from the mind of Peter Rowan and he does it with the group "Old & In the Way" (with Jerry Garcia and Divid Grisman) and with "The New Riders of the Purple Sage", maybe also on his own records. |
11 Nov 07 - 06:29 PM (#2191549) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Azizi pdq, thanks for that info. This is one reason why I like the fact that Mudcatters live in a number of nations throughout the world. You get to learn such odd and end info-bits as that. |
11 Nov 07 - 10:47 PM (#2191676) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: GUEST,Billy I had just bought Adam MacNaughtans' CD 'Last Stand at Mt Florida' and was playing it in the car on the way home from a folk festival. I came near to driving off the road laughing when he delivered the punchline to his song 'Archie Cathcart'. (Pronounced Erchey Kath-kay-ert). Ah'll sing ye the story o' Erchie Cathcairt, A fella that aye took guid care o' his hairt. Ah don't mean in terms o' romance and its issues, Naw, Erchie took care tae avoid fatty tissues. He read books on Stress and he read books on Diet An' made sure his hairt was weel-nourished an' quiet. As soon as he fun' oot that fags wis a threat, He said, "Erchie Cathcairt's smoked he's last cigarette." An' no' jist himsel', he'd a smoke-free abode, Fags were banned frae his flat in Victoria Road. When his chain-smokin' pals said that that wis too hard ae 'im, He juist said, "You look efter yer ain pericairdium!" Oan Glesca's Sooth side the air disnae come near The E.E.C.'s requirements for clean atmosphere So whenever he ventured ootside his ain close Cathcairt wore a mask ower his mooth and his nose. 'Cos joggin' wis good fur reducin' yer weight wi' He'd jog everywhere, even ower tae the Gateway. Where he bought low-fat mulk an' high-fiber breid Yon loaf's that's a' covert wi' carraway seed. An' fresh fruit an' veg an' then when he had peyed He wid jog away hame wi' a bag oan each side. When he read o' the Good-Hairted Glesca Campaign He signed oan at wance wi' nae thochts o' delayin' 'Cos aboot his blood pressure he hadnae a qualm And his weight matched his height tae the last milligram. But his doctor, consultin' a chart oan the wall, Says, "You're two points too high on your cholesterol. But there's no need to worry, just cut out dessert." "Ah never eat pudding!" cried Erchie Cathcairt. He jogged away hame in the depths o' despair, Efter ten years o' mooslie, whit could he dae mair. Then he read in the papers, some scientists say, "Yer hairt can be helped wi' two aspirins a day." And the very next mornin' the Herald declare't "Drinkin' wine wi' yer meal must be good fur yer hairt." "Eureka!" cried Erchie, "the method tae beat 'em all - A wee gless o' Eldo an' two paracetamol." But he thought, since his hale life he'd aye been teetotal, Wan gless widnae dae, so he drank the hale boatle. Then oan wi' his Reebocks, doonstairs he did flee Right in front o' a bus, number 44B, It knocked him six meters, a terrible sight, But the autopsy showed his cholesterol was right. It wis some consolation tae his faimly physician That he died wi' his hairt in a perfect condition. They say that small troubles are sent here tae try ye, They tell ye, "Whit's fur ye wull never go by ye." If yer name's oan the bullet, ye wullnae be spare't, He wis hut by a bus that wis bound for Cathcairt. (Non-Glaswegians should understand that Cathcart is a suburb to which the number 44B bus runs, so poor Archie was hit by a bus with his name on it. A horible, hillarious pun but also a moral tale that no matter how far you go to be healthy, you also need to look left, look right and left again before venturing out onto the road). Keep writing them, Adam! |
11 Nov 07 - 11:20 PM (#2191690) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Ron Davies If you like the Weird Al's Jeopardy song, you ought to also check "Door Number 3" by Steve Goodman---complete with Dylan quote. In fact several others of Steve's songs fit this thread---including Dying Cub Fan's Last Request, This Hotel Room, and Elvis Imitators. |
25 Oct 08 - 01:16 PM (#2475934) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: topical tom Way back in 2007 I started this thread.One of the songs I posted was "Viagra in the Water" as sung by Camille West.Just to tie up a loose end here is a bonus verse that never got into the final song: (Here's a bonus verse that never made it into the final song) Dr. Baker in geriatrics Had to make it into town Through the traffic at the drawbridge Where the gates would not come down And something told him he had found The fountain of youth When a gaggle of old geezers Grabbed his secretary Ruth Yes the old men at the nursing home Grew long in more than tooth © 1998 Camille West, BMI and Scott Wodicka |
25 Oct 08 - 01:30 PM (#2475944) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: topical tom I just have to add this!Check out "Nobody Beats My Bob" LOL |
25 Oct 08 - 08:40 PM (#2476162) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Joe_F The Rhyme of the Chivalrous Shark The Bold Soldier Miss Bailey That one by Burns -- I forget its name -- about the stingy Scottish farmer who is annoyed because her cows are wasting their muck in the open fields & undertakes to train them to shit only in the byre. The final scene, where she yells "Shite, shite, ye bitch!" so loud that it echoes off the walls of the nearest church, is not easily forgotten. |
25 Oct 08 - 09:10 PM (#2476173) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Acorn4 "The Old Fiddler" - Benny Hill "Prawns in the Game" - Jeremy Taylor |
26 Oct 08 - 05:37 AM (#2476296) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Acorn4 also by Benny Hill:- Garden of Love Jose'a Cantina and the one by Russ Abbot, can't remember the title, but a micky take of Julio Iglesias: "Oh, you lovely, lucky ladies To have someone like me to adore How I wish we could change places So that I could love me even more." |
26 Oct 08 - 06:37 AM (#2476320) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: GUEST,jim mac farland get your hands on Con O Drisceoil book and CD called "THE SPOONS MURDER and other mysteries" the best ever. |
26 Oct 08 - 06:42 AM (#2476324) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Jack Blandiver Any King Crimson Song with lyrics by Pete Sinfield, but particular credit must go to Prince Rupert Awakes from Lizard: Farewell the temple master's bells His kiosk and his black wormseed Courtship solely of his word With Eden guaranteed. For now Prince Rupert's tears of glass Make saffron sabbath eyelids bleed Scar the sacred tablet wax On which the Lizards feed. Wake your reasons' hollow vote Wear your blizzard season coat Burn a bridge and burn a boat Stake a Lizard by the throat |
26 Oct 08 - 07:04 AM (#2476339) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: GUEST,N .Gallagher All of James Blount`s songs make me laugh. Manically!! |
26 Oct 08 - 07:27 AM (#2476350) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Rasener Well in my honest opinion, the funniest one I have seen at Gainsborough Folk Club was Rindercella Its spoken and this guy was so funny doing the actions. The whole of the room was near to heart attack with so much laughing. This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters. Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go. Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper. The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny. |
26 Oct 08 - 07:47 AM (#2476359) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Dave Hanson Adam McNaughtan also wrote 'Oor Hamlet' to the tune of the Masons Apron, if anyone doesn't like Shakespeare, you'll love this version, especially as done by Martin Carthy. eric |
26 Oct 08 - 11:48 AM (#2476504) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Jayto I was at a songwriters thing one night (writers in the round). I had been hearing about this songwriter that was supposed to be top notch. A friend of mine in Nashville Tennessee told me he was going to be at Douglas Corner and he (he worked for a publishing company) was told to check him out. He asked if I wanted to go with him to hear this guy. I had been hearing the buzz around town about this guy so I was excited to hear him. We rolled in a little before the show. The writer heard my friend was there (of course he could care less about me lol) and came over to our table and started the typical overly happy to see you self promotion bit. Then he proceeded to tell how powerful his new song was and he would open with it just so my friend could hear it first blah blah blah. Come showtime he walked to the mic and had that forced demeanor of oh I am so humble. Right off the bat the guy was losing major points with both of us. He then grabs his guitar and starts a slow major arpeggio that built up to a nice soothing melody. When he started singing I about lost it. The whole song was about a guy that had this beautiful girlfriend but he was blind. He couldn't see her outer beauty but knew her inner beauty well. So far it is alright. Then he had his girlfriend sneaking a side job on top of her regular job to save money without him knowing. The kicker starts about now. hen after saving all her money she surprises him by paying for an EYE REPLACEMENT SURGERY so he can see her outer beauty as well. OMG I about lost it. After the set he approached us in a frenzy and asked my friend what he thought. My buddy paused for a very long time but finally looked up and said " Man I don't think they have those kind of surgeries.". All the blood rushed from his face just as a waitress walked up to our table. The guy turned to the waitress and asked her. The waitress just looked like "Oh crap I was hoping to avoid this." smiled and said "uhm I don't think so but what do I know I am just a waitress." I was trying not to laugh but it was hard. This was around 1993 or so. He looked at me and I said "I have never heard of it but hey your creating the song and story. Why not create the surgery as well?" I know it wasn't the coolest thing but hey I was stuck lol. I know this isn't exactley what you had in mind when you started this thread but everytime I think about songs that made me laugh this one comes to mind first. cya JT |
26 Oct 08 - 09:19 PM (#2476914) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: Joe_F The Lobster |
27 Oct 08 - 11:15 AM (#2477249) Subject: RE: songs that made us laugh From: topical tom The Villan: I used to get a kick out of "Rincercella and the Sugly Isters"! I saw Archie Campbell do that on "Hee Haw" years back.He also did "The Pee Little Thrigs" and "Beeping Sleauty". Thanks for the memories. |