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11 Dec 07 - 06:57 AM (#2212961) Subject: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work Here's a silly thing to do... it's a slow day here and I've already fulfilled my quota of post worked, so I started to think of other things and came up with this: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the village, A Viking came creeping, Looking for pillage... Anyone else want to carry on? LTS |
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11 Dec 07 - 07:33 AM (#2212982) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Micca The Saxons lay sleeping all tucked up in bed while thoughts of new Angles chased round in their heads |
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11 Dec 07 - 08:18 AM (#2212997) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Leadfingers Leadfingers was struggling Blank was his mind A good rhyme for Humbug He just couldn't find |
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11 Dec 07 - 08:37 AM (#2213011) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: catspaw49 The ice storm was heavy It had caused many wrecks. But Ol' Spaw stayed indoors And was hoping for sex. |
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11 Dec 07 - 09:04 AM (#2213030) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Mo the caller While Mo dream of calling With bands who could play And dancers who listened - It's not often that way. |
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11 Dec 07 - 09:06 AM (#2213034) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: catspaw49 Spaw remembered a Christmas long past He'd had sex and played Snooker But he'd gotten the clap From a two dollar hooker. LtS said she was ready for love, Energetic and willin' But it bothered Ol' Spaw That she was on penicillin. |
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11 Dec 07 - 09:41 AM (#2213052) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Mo the caller The Viking crept closer to the Village Hall Where pictures of Santa hung on the wall. There evry morning the Playgroup were busy, Children excited, staff in a tizzy. So much to finish, so much to do, I've got a list that will tell me just who 's not made a present to take home to Dad. If we forgot one it would be too bad Oh, all right then, I own up. That was part of one I made earlier. |
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11 Dec 07 - 12:38 PM (#2213186) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Bee Now this Viking, named Bjorn Was seen poking about By a little old lady Up late drinking Stout Ow! Bjorn!, yelled the lady (She'd met him before, as a young lass when Bjorn Came a-raiding before) 'Tis Yuletide, whatever d'ye think that ye're doing, Whilst the Yule log is burning And I've venison stewing? |
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11 Dec 07 - 12:50 PM (#2213194) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Micca Said Bjorn "I am searching has anyone seen my beautiful Agnetha my gorgeous Viqueen" |
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11 Dec 07 - 12:52 PM (#2213197) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Bee Rats! "She'd met him before", s'posed to have been "of yore". |
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11 Dec 07 - 12:59 PM (#2213204) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: SINSULL When off in the Tavern There arose such a clatter As the duck and the Giant Squid Fought on the ladder. The ladder then teetered The ladder then fell While duck, squid and Lts Shouted "Oh Hell!" NOT THE JELL-O PIT! NOT THE JELL-O PIT!!!! AAARRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! |
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11 Dec 07 - 02:50 PM (#2213262) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Amos All the ruction awoke me, And I grabbed for my wrap, And cantered downstairs YEl;ling "What's all this crap?" And there on the hearthstone, A rubbing his jaw (Which his fall had near broken) Was a Santa-garbed Spaw! He was round and tumescent His big nose was glowing, And through the red velvet His erection was showing But he hoisted his pants, And he shifted his rig To try and disguise it, (Said his shorts were too big). I was wholly in mystery! What could be the skinny? What had caused this arousal? Then, I heard a faint whinny. While Spaw looked embarassed, And muttered "Aw, fuck" I heard reindeer calling! "Come on back, laddy-buck!" "Come back to your Donder And back to your Blitzen! Lets be making der thunder And bringing on spritzen! There's no use just hiding In that chimney below, 'Cause you aint getting home Without us'ns, ya know!" "Come make us all happy! Or at least give a try! 'Cuz if you won't be our daddy, We sure as hell will not fly!" Spaw just look embarassed His red cheeks were beaming, For he knew I'd discovered His bestial leaning. And as for his tackle, In this embarassing pass, It had lost half its volume, And most of its mass. So he made his excuses, Said "Look -- I must go!" And he turned to the chimney With a "Ho, fucking Ho!" But I heard him addressing Those reindeer so handy, Yelling "Down, with you, Blitzen! Jayzus Keerist, but you're randy!" And the last thing he said, As he flew out of sight, Was "Joyous Damn Noel -- I will not last the night!" Oliver Sensemilaa Holmquist III The True Story of Christmas Playboy Publications, 1992 |
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11 Dec 07 - 05:09 PM (#2213373) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Georgiansilver Like a small babys blanket, The snow covered all. Carol singers thronged By the old village hall. Mince pies and brandy Filled plate and glass. And love filled the hearts Of lad and lass. Christmas was here now, So jolly, so fine. Fine fare, fine food. Mistletoe and wine. |
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11 Dec 07 - 05:57 PM (#2213408) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Liz the Squeak Oh ye gods, what have I started?! LTS |
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11 Dec 07 - 06:06 PM (#2213418) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Amos Sigh. That is certainly, um, traditional, GS. It evokes very pleasant images, if ya don't look too close. Much more genteel and refined than mine, obviously. You are clearly a gent of the Olde Schoole, so to speake... I dunno, Liz, but ya know what they say about what to do if you don't like the heat!! :D A |
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11 Dec 07 - 07:37 PM (#2213475) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Mo the caller But the Viking ignored all the fuss and commotion, He didn't eat mince pies or drink Christmas potion. And while they were busy, down in the Hall He entered their houses and plundered them all. |
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12 Dec 07 - 02:35 AM (#2213623) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Micca and as he was sneaking outside with his plunder he met with a reindeer whose mname it was thunder The reindeer spke and said "you shall not pass" let fly with his hooves and knocked Vik on his ass |
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12 Dec 07 - 03:50 AM (#2213639) Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Poem challenge From: Micca Then there in the dark from the shadows their moves a large God equipped wit a hammer and gloves Who yells "Get up Toerag and get thyself gone For stealing at Christmas is simply not on!!!" |