|
01 Mar 08 - 06:35 PM (#2276912) Subject: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Bill D Yes, indeed! You may find that a new religion can perk up your life! Follow Agnes as she explores a congenial new approach! (you can scroll down a bit to see succeeding days...or, just change the 18 -> 19 -> 20...etc.) |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:07 PM (#2276931) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk Man....you just want to kick her (Agnes) after awhile. I note that her friend, the one with the pony tail, freckles, and baseball cap, just sort of hangs around all the time to play the "straight man" bit for Agnes. Would her life have any purpose without Agnes there to react to? One wonders. That's a common routine in comics these days. The reader is supposed to identify with the "straight man" and roll his or her eyes in shared empathy while the main character that drives the action (thus giving the comic its theme and purpose) says or does something ridiculous. The "straight man" frequently even looks sideways out of the comic page right at us viewers to emphasize the shared awareness of the main character's idiocy, but the main character never notices. In this way we are all encouraged to feel that we are not idiots, but that some other people that we know most definitely are. This enhances our shared sense of normalcy and innate superiority to "weirdos". Very comforting. ;-) |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:09 PM (#2276934) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Peace This will make the process easier I suspect. |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:13 PM (#2276939) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: John Hardly Would a numerology fundamentalist only believe in prime numbers? |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:22 PM (#2276946) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Peace On even-numbered days, yes . . . . |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:23 PM (#2276947) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Bill D Agnes is also used as a "there but for the grace of ∞3 go I!" figure. |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:24 PM (#2276949) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Peace What WOULD a cubic eternity look like? |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:25 PM (#2276950) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk I knew a girl who was obsessive-compulsive about numbers. She had to have everything in even numbers, so if there was one crumpled up kleenex sitting on the dresser, she would be compelled to go and get another one to put beside it. She was also absolutely terrified of being alone...since "one" was a number she simply could not abide. |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:26 PM (#2276951) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk "infinity cubed"? |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:27 PM (#2276954) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: John Hardly Naming the religion got awkward for Agnes. "Agnestic" seemed to confuse the neophytes. And "Agnesanity" seemed somehow less than flattering. |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:28 PM (#2276955) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Bill D A cubic eternity looks very much like this |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:28 PM (#2276956) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: John Hardly "She was also absolutely terrified of being alone...since "one" was a number she simply could not abide." One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. I have it on good authority. |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:29 PM (#2276957) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk How about Agnetology? I think a movement like that could do rather well in Hollywood. |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:31 PM (#2276959) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: John Hardly A cubic eternity looks very much like this So does Spirograph™ |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:31 PM (#2276961) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Peace Yeah. I took one of them in the 1960s, but it just made the forest melt and the sky change colours to paisley. Much like this if I remember correctly. (And if that's NOT paisley, I'd prefer not to hear about it. No offense.) |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:31 PM (#2276963) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: John Hardly "How about Agnetology?" M tells me that it does hold a certain attraction. |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:33 PM (#2276965) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Peace Sorry. (This thread caught fire while I was writing that response to the folks who mentioned cubes and eternity.) |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:38 PM (#2276968) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Bill D eternal cube |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:41 PM (#2276972) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Bill D And a cube on the way Too bad Agnes couldn't be blamed for thread drift. |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:43 PM (#2276973) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: John Hardly Fundamentalist thread drift. |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:43 PM (#2276974) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Peace I stared at this for 15 minutes and nothing happened. Why? |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:49 PM (#2276975) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Peace Hang on--I'm getting something here! |
|
01 Mar 08 - 07:53 PM (#2276977) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Peace OK. Take me to your leader . . . . |
|
01 Mar 08 - 10:21 PM (#2277052) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Bill D Will you recognize your Dear leader when you see him? |
|
01 Mar 08 - 11:06 PM (#2277074) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Riginslinger That's awful! |
|
01 Mar 08 - 11:16 PM (#2277080) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: katlaughing Well, she really didn't say her prayers right or she might've gotten an answer. Any self-respecting numerologist, radical or not, would never say "forty!" It would be 4+0! |
|
01 Mar 08 - 11:32 PM (#2277088) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Janie Rats! I almost had it all figured out....the mystical significance of this thread, I mean. It just came to me like a small, still voice from within..."start at the latest post and open the links in reverse order, Janie, and all will be revealed" - and - it was all coming together for me, it was working, you know? Then I messed up the sequence and accidently skipped a link that I had to go back to and open out of the order of reverse sequence....there I was, right on the very cusp of deep understanding....then....one misguided click...and the path to true enlightment was gone forever. Unless this really is the revelation? |
|
02 Mar 08 - 09:34 AM (#2277300) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Riginslinger I'm beginning to wonder if there's any hope at all! |
|
02 Mar 08 - 10:56 AM (#2277340) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk You live in the USA, right? ;-) |
|
02 Mar 08 - 11:21 AM (#2277366) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: wysiwyg Bill, you troll. :~) ~S~ |
|
02 Mar 08 - 12:48 PM (#2277433) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Bill D Whom, meem? naaawwwww... |
|
02 Mar 08 - 08:30 PM (#2277848) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: dick greenhaus The Seven Spiritual Ages of Mrs. Marmaduke Moore by Ogden Nash Mrs. Marmaduke Moore, at the age of ten (Her name was Jemima Jevons then), Was the quaintest of little country maids. Her pigtails slapped on her shoulder blades ; She fed the chickens, and told the truth And could spit like a boy through a broken tooth. She could climb a tree to the topmost perch, And she used to pray in the Methodist church. At the age of twenty her heart was pure, And she caught the fancy of Mr. Moore. He broke his troth (to a girl named Alice), And carried her off to his city palace, Where she soon forgot her childhood piety And joined the orgies of high society. Her voice grew English, or , say, Australian, And she studied to be an Episcopalian. At thirty our lives are still before us, But Mr. Moore had a friend in the chorus. Connubial bliss was overthrown And Mrs. Moore now slumbered alone. Hers was a nature that craved affection; She gave herself up to introspection; Then finding theosophy rather dry, Found peace in the sweet Bahai and Bahai. Forty! and still an abandoned wife, She felt old urges stirring to life, She dipped her locks in a bowl of henna And booked a passage through to Vienna. She paid a professor a huge emolument To demonstrate what his ponderous volumes meant. Returning she preached to the unemployed The gospel according to St. Freud. Fifty! she haunted museums and galleries, And pleased young men by augmenting their salaries . Oh, it shouldn't occur, but it does occur, That poets are made by fools like her. Her salon was full of frangipani, Roumanian, Russian and Hindustani, And she conquered par as well as bogey By reading a book and going Yogi. Sixty! and time was on her hands---- Maybe remorse and maybe glands. She felt a need for free confession To publish each youthful indiscretion, And before she was gathered to her mothers, To compare her sinlets with those of others, Mrs. Moore gave a joyous whoop, And immersed herself in the Oxford group. That is the story of Mrs. Moore, As far as it goes. But of this I'm sure --- When seventy stares her in the face She'll have found some other state of grace. Mohammed may be her lord and master, Or Zeus, or Mithros, or Zoroaster, For when a lady is badly sexed God knows what God is coming next. |
|
02 Mar 08 - 08:49 PM (#2277865) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Bill D In good King Charles' golden time, When loyalty no harm meant; A zealous High Churchman was I. And so I gained preferment. To teach my flock, I never missed- Kings are by God appointed. And damned are those who dare resist, Or touch the Lord's annointed." So this be law, that I'll maintain Until my dying day, Sir- That whatsoever king may reign, Still I'll be the Vicar of Bray, Sir! etc...in the database |
|
03 Mar 08 - 05:13 PM (#2278599) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Peace "Unless this really is the revelation?" Take it from me, folks. The mints that Janie links to taste crappy. Burp what tastes like mothballs for days afterwards. I ate six of them one night--YES, WISE A$$, I WASHED THEM OFF FIRST. |
|
21 Apr 08 - 03:53 PM (#2321825) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Amos Five thousands years of religious history in a nut-shell. Had me laughing out loud. A |
|
21 Apr 08 - 04:34 PM (#2321893) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk So...where's the flashlight? |
|
21 Apr 08 - 06:25 PM (#2322019) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Rapparee Flashlights are heretical and taboo. Flashlights must be forcibly removed from our society, preferably with extreme prejudice and violence. Flashlights are bad things. |
|
21 Apr 08 - 07:25 PM (#2322065) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: catspaw49 No Rap......Not all flashlights are bad. I'm told the special "Faithlight" is supposed to let me see the dragons in all their glory! I'll just be leaving now............ Spaw |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:05 PM (#2322098) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk Look, I'm not objecting to flashlights. I'm just asking, where IS the damn flashlight? Where is this flashlight that will clear up everything mysterious and answer all our questions? I have not seen it. No one seems to have it. I think it may be as mythical as Noah's Ark and all that other strange religious stuff. ;-) No one has the fucking flashlight as shown in Amos's example!!!!!! They just wish they did or they take it on faith that they do, but then they cannot produce it. Thus our collective room remains dark, and the dragons remain hypothetical, as does a lot of other stuff. No one has turned the frikkin' lights on yet. We are still in darkness. |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:10 PM (#2322105) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Amos You idiot. YOU ARE THE GODDAMNED FLASHLIGHT, OK??? Oh, ye of little faith. A |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:20 PM (#2322116) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: catspaw49 I'm sorry Hawk......I couldn't find the flashlight either. Couldn't find the faithlight or the flashlight.........But see, I'm no longer bothered by that. With either flashlight or faithlight you need to buy batteries and I just have never found any that are worth a shit! So I got me one of them crank-up flashlights and provide the power myself while I stumble merrily along, enjoying the walk. Feel free to join me............or not! Spaw |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:21 PM (#2322117) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk Oh, I am the goddamn flashlight, am I? Well thanks a lot. I guess that's why I believe I saw some (probable) alien vehicles back in the 60s, because I trust the flashlight (my own powers of observation and judgement)...funny how no one else has any respect for my flashlight, though, isn't it? What we need is a flashlight that everyone can trust equally, Amos, otherwise it just adds up to people trumpeting their own version of reality at each other and nobody having much respect or time for anyone else's version of reality. A flashlight that is totally inner and subjective only works for one person. I've always had that flashlight. Big deal. It doesn't work for anyone else. What I am saying is that our present society...like ALL societies in the past...figures it's got things pretty well figured out and that it knows what's going on, but the truth is, we are living in stark ignorance and drunk on our own mythology and witlessly worshipping the own idols we for granted which were passed on to all of us right from birth. Society is largely ignorant. We are in the darkened room right now. There are a few small lights here and there, but the room is mostly in darkness. |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:21 PM (#2322118) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Amos Oh, pshaw. What Catspaw found that makes him so happy is a Fleshlight!!. A |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:26 PM (#2322120) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk Ignorance. Stupidity. Conventionality. Prejudice. Bland assumptions. Delusions of competence. Delusions of grandeur. And fleshlights. A field of utter folly that imagines itself to be a "modern world", while it builds atom bombs and wages pre-emptive wars over WMDs that don't exist. That's what we have. A darkened room. No flashlight yet to be seen. |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:28 PM (#2322121) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: catspaw49 Well Amos, that does wind my crank! Spaw |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:29 PM (#2322122) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Bill D That one of them flashlights that you ummmm...'shake' in an embarassing manner? I always wait till I'm alone to charge one up. My religion demands that a 'healthy glow' must be achieved in a moral manner. |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:36 PM (#2322128) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk I note that one of the fleshlights appears to have an orifice modeled on alien biology of some sort! It's a sort of horizontal rectangular slit. Odd. |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:37 PM (#2322129) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Bill D "Made in China" like everything else these days! |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:46 PM (#2322133) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: catspaw49 Aw geez Bill........I rarely guffaw, but that did it! And fortunately my coffee was swallowed.......... Spaw |
|
21 Apr 08 - 08:48 PM (#2322137) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Bill D hee, hee... |
|
21 Apr 08 - 09:12 PM (#2322156) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Amos You bigoted racist elitist chauvinist crackpot!!! LOL!!!! A |
|
21 Apr 08 - 11:28 PM (#2322209) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Rapparee Well, just for that, I'm GOING to post the following, which was sent to me: Last night I had a nightmare. A really bad one. It was a terrible nightmare, the most horrible one you could imagine. In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I'm circumcised! Quickly I jumped up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver license photo - and it was that same color. Black. No, no, God no, it can't be!! I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair. But it's a wheelchair!! That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled!!! I said to myself, aloud "This is impossible. It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled. "It's the pure and holy truth", whispers someone from behind me. I turn around, and it's my Boyfriend. Just what I needed!!! I am a homosexual whore and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend. Sonofabitch!!!! Oh, my God..... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict !!! Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and OH, noooooo... I'm Bald!!! The telephone rings. It's my brother. He is saying, "Since mom and dad died the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of crap.. Any job." Mom?... Dad?... Nooooooooo... Now I'm also an unemployed orphan! I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, bald, and an orphan. But he doesn't get it. Frustrated, I hang up. It's then I realize I only have one hand!!! With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out. I see I live in A shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere . Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker....Pacemaker? Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood. At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, "Sweetiepie, my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided who are you going to vote for next November? Hillary or Obama?" Sonofabitch! Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black disabled one armed drug addicted Jewish queer on a Pacemaker who is bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend, but please don't tell me I'm a Democrat!!!! |
|
22 Apr 08 - 01:13 AM (#2322247) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk Ha! Damned Americans...they're all crazy! ;-) Everyone else in the world can easily see that the differences between a Democrat and a Republican are about as significant as the difference between a brown rabbit and a gray one. And rabbits fight with each other too. Like crazy. They fight over territorial shares, just like Democrats and Republicans. |
|
22 Apr 08 - 02:06 AM (#2322260) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: catspaw49 Or Episcopalians and Lutherans................. Spaw |
|
22 Apr 08 - 12:52 PM (#2322666) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Amos LH, you obviously don't understand rabbits very well. THey have unique souls and imaginations, personalities and attitudes. A |
|
22 Apr 08 - 01:17 PM (#2322691) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk Oh, so? I'll have you know that I once took daily care of over 150 rabbits and I am well aware of their individuality. There was one who thought she was a princess...wouldn't mate with any of the males. All the males developed an obsession about her, naturally. Just like with people. ;-) She became the hottest item in the rabbit community, simply because she refused to say "yes". |
|
22 Apr 08 - 01:19 PM (#2322694) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: catspaw49 Again, much like Episcopalians and Lutherans................ Spaw |
|
22 Apr 08 - 01:22 PM (#2322698) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Amos Not unlike Ms Clinton. A |
|
22 Apr 08 - 01:25 PM (#2322704) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk I keep hearing rumours that she's a lesbian, but I wouldn't repeat anything like that. I'm not that crass. |
|
22 Apr 08 - 01:30 PM (#2322709) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Amos I believe she has energetically denied both the lesbianism and the use of methamphetamine in her 3AM policy and strategy sessions. A |
|
22 Apr 08 - 01:36 PM (#2322719) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: catspaw49 Denied both? Well right there she certainly differs from Episcopalians and Lutherans and probably some rabbits too........To use Bill Maher's phrase, if you're going to go for the story of the talking snake, you need meths! Spaw |
|
22 Apr 08 - 01:37 PM (#2322721) Subject: RE: BS: A primer on changing your religion From: Little Hawk As well as the blood drinking rituals at Bohemian Grove. |
