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07 Apr 08 - 05:30 PM (#2309465) Subject: BS: Join the directors of I. T T. T. F. From: Donuel Today I had to endure a security screening that keeps getting more ridiculous and elaborate every week. We had to present ID, get wiped with a explosive detector cloth, make like JEsus on the cross to get "wanded" , check the trunk, walk through metal detectors, be sniffed by guard dogs, look with a mirror in the car, get in and out of the car 3 times, write the names of our children, drag their sleeping bodies from the backseat, drag them through detectors... All the while my wife had a 3 foot long heavy cardboard box in her lap that went uninspected (a cake for a retirement party) The Security is all BS and for show, because someone pretended to be a security mastermind and filed for a contract with HLS. The Department of Homeland Security has more money than God. The interest on their borrowed money is a million a day. That means any moron, like me, can become a contractor to get $300,000.00 that HLS is required to spend... so Mudcat members who need an income can propose a contract that will reveal new terrorist threats that need attention...We must be prepared for the unexpected. It is always the one thing that you didn't think of. When it comes to the unlikely, we are your best choice. Gentlemen we must not have an impossible anti terrorist mission gap. We are the Impossible terrorist threat task force. da dada drum roll and plantive trumpet ballad.... NEW TERRORIST THREATS: Ricin laced toilet paper at the Pentagon Salt peter in fake Viagra pills. look into how 6 semi trucks can block an entire US city for 6 hours at a time tighten security for the food trucks that deliver to the Mayflower and 4 seasons in DC Look for spy bugs in the cloak room and country club golf carts. The kidnap and ransom of 4 TV Profit Peachers for 15 billion dollars. Guard the opium supply routes in Afghanistan and make it easier for Columbian and Mexican "goods" to enter US. Hijacking of the Space Shuttle AGAIN and flying it into Crawford TX AGAIN. The Release of laughing gas at a McCain rally. Releasing Bruce at the Republican National neoConvention. The bypassing of the daily news stories delivered to FOX NBC and CNN with actual news stories. ___________________________________________ We have to be ready for the unexpected... the one thing we didn't think of. We at the ITTTF will think of those things for you. Gentelmen we must not have an Impossible Terrorist Threat gap!. Thank you signed Your Name the Chief of Security Systems at the Impossible Terrorist Threat Task Force. Now we are only asking for 11.2 million dollars per year which is a bargain if we deter only one impossible threat. honestly, the odds of winning such a contract is unbelievably good. |
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07 Apr 08 - 05:50 PM (#2309482) Subject: RE: BS: Join the directors of I. T. T. F. From: Sorcha LOL....I want the bakery franchise. Ricin in birthday cakes carried in on Lovely Ladies Laps! We'll call it the 3L Bakery! |
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07 Apr 08 - 05:54 PM (#2309488) Subject: RE: BS: Join the directors of I. T. T. F. From: Donuel more threats: radioactive bibles the word "global" anything. videos of Republican candidate's pastors. jamming of right wing broadcasts. off shore banking records of "you know who". accidental Fed Ex ing of nukes to Japan Korea and Iran. |
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07 Apr 08 - 06:53 PM (#2309538) Subject: RE: BS: Join the directors of I. T. T. F. From: Donuel Terrorists who pose as hollywood actors and directors. Grave desecration of J. Edgar Hoover revealing the red dress he was buried in. Same as above for Joseph McCarthy and Rev. Falwell. The identity of Mayflower clients 1 through 8. |