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26 Apr 08 - 02:01 AM (#2325968) Subject: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Muttley Snuffy in the "Aha she cried and waved her wooden leg" thread posed this question "What is the difference between a duck?" A. "One of its legs are both the same" I recall this one from teachers college in the 70's; along with: Q. Why are Volkswagens? A. Because motorbikes have no doors Q. Why are apples round? A. Because bananas are yellow. and Q. Why do mice spin in pairs? A. The higher the fewer. Can anyone recall any others? |
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26 Apr 08 - 02:09 AM (#2325974) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Dave Hanson Why did Jane Russel ? because Max Factor. eric |
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26 Apr 08 - 02:11 AM (#2325975) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Liz the Squeak So I said to this bird with one leg, hop it! LTS |
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26 Apr 08 - 02:39 AM (#2325986) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Jim Carroll What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel One's weasely recognised and the other's stoatally different What would you rather bee or a wasp Jim Carroll Enough of this silliness - I've got work to do |
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26 Apr 08 - 04:12 AM (#2326024) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Georgiansilver What is the difference between the Whitehall Theatre and a Public Toilet.......... The Whitehall Theatre is for arts and farces! |
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26 Apr 08 - 04:17 AM (#2326027) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Les in Chorlton What's the difference betwen a canary? One leg is yellow and the other is also orange |
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26 Apr 08 - 06:55 AM (#2326083) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Big Al Whittle How do you become an actress? Sit on the radiator till you're Googie Withers. |
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26 Apr 08 - 08:18 AM (#2326122) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: bankley what's the difference between Hillary and Obama ? not much... except one's as dark as the inside of a cow with its eyes closed and tail down and the other is African-American |
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26 Apr 08 - 09:34 AM (#2326170) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Dave the Gnome What do you call a swan with a wooden leg? Frank. "Can I have some green soap please." "Sorry we only have red." "That's OK. I'm on my bike." :D |
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26 Apr 08 - 10:47 AM (#2326206) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Louie Roy What's the difference between a pump handle and a cow's tail |
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26 Apr 08 - 11:13 AM (#2326213) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Jim From Mad Magazine in the early sixties:"I've got one grunch but the eggplant over there." This quote showed up in almost every issue of Mad for a few years. |
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26 Apr 08 - 03:06 PM (#2326402) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Slag In the famous words of Horace Greely "Huh?". |
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26 Apr 08 - 03:24 PM (#2326418) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Jim I just emailed my brother BOB to ask him where we'd heard the riddle: Q-What's the difference between a duck? A-One leg is both the same. He sent back this: Q-What's the difference between a duck? A-Jeez and quackers I seem to recall Mom and Dad came home from a "couples' club" at Binkley Church, and someone (maybe Bob Cruikshanks) had told that joke, and it hit the spot with them so they repeated it numerous times (laughing or at least smiling every time) and, alas, it became part of our family folklore. The eggplant grunch was definitely from Mad Magazine, and its incomprehensible logic appealed to you and me (and probably only you and me) in much the same way as "one is both the same" appealed to our parents. And I always remember a Walt Kelly Pogo cartoon that we cut out and had thumbtacked up in our room for years: It was just one selected square of a three square cartoon episode that contained two little bugs, a father and his young son holding his hand, the father enthusiastically pointing with his umbrella at Churchy LaFemme galloping by on all fours like a rabid dog, and the father bug saying, "Behold, Clerlock! There goes a..." and the bored child saying, "Never mind, Pa." It's hard to explain but that was quietly hilarious to us, and I think it still is. |
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26 Apr 08 - 05:03 PM (#2326483) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,lox Why is a horse when he trots Because God save Ireland! Two bears in a bath One says "pass me the soap" The other says " I can't because its RAY-DEE-OH ... ;-) |
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26 Apr 08 - 05:35 PM (#2326510) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Slag Ok, tell me when to stop...That really quacks me up! Feather you and not me. Duck Soup (with quackers)! Do you know how to get down of an elephant? You don't! You get down off a duck! I'm winging it! Why would a duck beg when he's got a bill? Was that a teal of laughter? I thot not. DUCK! Opps too late. Well, it looks like it's time for me to migrate. "... or did you just step on a duck?" Dr. Mallard? He's a quack. Wanna buy a duck? Be kind to your web-footed friends, for a duck may be somebody'd MAWWWW-ther... |
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26 Apr 08 - 06:31 PM (#2326542) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Bill D Those are POLAR bears... The original was "Did you hear about the Polar bear who came up out of the hole in the ice and said "Radio"?" The version I hear of the other was "A polar bear was taking a shower, and called his wife.."Hey, will you hand ne the soap?" "No soap, honey...radio!" A polar bear is driving in his little red sports car, when he's pulled over by a police car. The officer says,"Let me see your license." "No license, Officer...radio!" |
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26 Apr 08 - 08:05 PM (#2326574) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Little Robyn What's the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral thermometer? The taste! Robyn |
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26 Apr 08 - 08:45 PM (#2326599) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Little Hawk In the famous words of Ronald Reagan, "Umm...what was the question?". |
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26 Apr 08 - 08:46 PM (#2326600) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Slag Real estate Robyn, location, location, location! And what Mrs. P Bear really said was "No hope, money; away I go!" I checked with the FCC and the last amateur license granted to a Polar Bear was in '41 and the last commercial license lapsed in '49 in Alaskan Territory. Since statehood Marvin Perkins obtained licenses for tracking radios for Polar Bears. One of the last things Perkins was heard to utter in his normally deep, basso profundo voice was "Now where can I stick this thing so he can't readily take it off?" It was about a year later, after his release from Cedars of Lebanon/ Mt. Sinai Hospital that he became spokesman for Mutual of Omaha. Considering the foregoing it most certainly had to have been an RCMP who pulled said bear over in the first place. What context there may have been for the bear's comment, I cannot imagine. |
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27 Apr 08 - 08:35 PM (#2327224) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Don(Wyziwyg)T "What's the difference between a pump handle and a cow's tail?" Sheeee-it! I dunno. Don T. |
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27 Apr 08 - 09:11 PM (#2327237) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Uncle_DaveO Don, I guess I won't send YOU for a bucket of drinking water! Dave Oesterreich |
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27 Apr 08 - 09:15 PM (#2327240) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: quokka Why don't motorbikes have windscreen wipers? Because icecream has no bones. |
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27 Apr 08 - 09:34 PM (#2327251) Subject: RE:We'll split the difference between a duck From: Severn The narrator/host of Zoo Parade when I was a kid and Mutual Of Omaha's Wild Kingdom much later was MARLON Perkins. His ad lead-ins were always quite classic, things along the lines of, "The mother lion sleeps on a limb. If you find yourself out on a limb, Mutual Of Omaha....." that were almost as good as the questions that inspired this thread. Not quite. Too logical, but not by much. And Mr.Perkins would have been hiding behind a rock and letting his assistant Jim plant the radio, bell the cat or whatever grunt work was required, as poor frail Marlon always looked like he would weigh 75 pounds soaking wet. |
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27 Apr 08 - 09:59 PM (#2327265) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,TIA Is it hotter in the summer or in the city? Do you walk to school or carry your lunch? Are bears Catholic? Does the Pope...never mind. How much wood would a woodchuck.........? |
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27 Apr 08 - 11:46 PM (#2327295) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Slag Marvin? Marlon? What's a couple of letters among friends. I hope it doesn't bring the veracity of the other statements under consideration. Nonetheless after said incident it was always Jim from then on. They moved on from Polar Bears to Polar Cows. They later located in Antartica to study those South Polar Ants. Their tunneling is said to be responsible for over 50% of the avalanches on that continent. With penguins soaring over head and Walrii nipping at their heels Marlon and Jim turned out several good documentaries in that region. Is it Saturday yet? |
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28 Apr 08 - 12:44 AM (#2327312) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Desert Dancer on astro's machine I recall the genre from New England in the '70's... but I can't remember any examples... it was the 70's... astro says... "What were the 70's?" ~ Becky in LA |
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28 Apr 08 - 08:12 AM (#2327494) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Mr Red What's the difference between a duck? One is mallard-justed Two birds on a perch and one says I keep thinking it is Tuesday (and can you smell fish) |
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28 Apr 08 - 08:56 AM (#2327521) Subject: RE: 'What is the daffy-rinse inbetween a duck?' From: Severn Actually, Slag, the ones they had to watch out for were the Bi-Polar bears. They could cop an attitude on you at any moment. |
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28 Apr 08 - 09:39 AM (#2327566) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: jeffp Marlon Perkins didn't always let Jim do all the work. There is a classic clip (yes, I've seen it) of Marlon Perkins wrestling with an anaconda. The snake very nearly got the better of him too. Perkins was almost drowned in the struggle. |
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28 Apr 08 - 10:55 AM (#2327636) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: JHW Neither of them |
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28 Apr 08 - 10:58 AM (#2327642) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: goatfell you are only african american if you were born in Africa and then moved to America but if you're born in America then you're American not matter what colour of skin you have or anything like that. |
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28 Apr 08 - 10:59 AM (#2327644) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Geoff the Duck Okay! I give up! What's the difference??? Quack! GtD. |
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28 Apr 08 - 11:02 AM (#2327646) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: John MacKenzie No Tom, the term African American, refers to the ethnic origins of the person involved, and can be applied to any American born black person, of African descent. G |
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28 Apr 08 - 06:03 PM (#2328084) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Mr Red Now Now children. As they they say (they who don't like labels) I hate labels. As George Mikes said (in a rather Eastern European accent) - I don't live here because I like Brittain, I live here because I love it. Actually there are Americans and there are immigrants. Now I will run for cover........... |
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28 Apr 08 - 06:24 PM (#2328110) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Jim A wet bird never flies at night. Where did that come from? Was it Walt Kelly? |
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28 Apr 08 - 06:28 PM (#2328115) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Zeke "it takes a heap of homing to make a pigeon-toed" "An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys." |
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28 Apr 08 - 06:35 PM (#2328121) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Wouldn't be much point in asking me to fertilise a pasture either, Uncle Dave LOL Don T. |
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28 Apr 08 - 06:50 PM (#2328139) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Chief Chaos I believe Chico said: "Viaduct? Vhy not a chicken?" |
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28 Apr 08 - 07:28 PM (#2328173) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Herga Kitty As George Mikes pointed out, the English have hot water bottles.... Kitty |
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28 Apr 08 - 10:42 PM (#2328278) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,TIA Walt Kelley said "we have met the enemy, and they is us" Okay, Pogo said it. |
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28 Apr 08 - 11:06 PM (#2328292) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: NightWing Why is there air? Because the sky is blue [I know that Bill Cosby had a different answer. This one is RIGHT!! BB, NightWing |
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29 Apr 08 - 02:46 PM (#2328899) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Jim GUEST:TIA Check out: http://www.banjohangout.org/myhangout/photos2.asp?id=17973&photoID=32971&albumid=0 |
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29 Apr 08 - 02:48 PM (#2328900) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST Sorry TIA. Try this: http://www.banjohangout.org/myhangout/photos2.asp?id=17973&photoID=32971&albumid=0 |
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29 Apr 08 - 08:58 PM (#2329273) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Vyisdere asmeni orsis arsis asderis orsis? cosderis wunars perors. Don T. |
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30 Apr 08 - 09:19 AM (#2329696) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: clueless don One I remember from my childhood: Q: Why do birds fly? A: Because it takes twelve pancakes to cover the top of a doghouse. We used to call these "pointless jokes". Don |
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30 Apr 08 - 03:01 PM (#2330016) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: frogprince Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November; all the rest have thirty-one, except Granny, she rides a red, white and blue bicycle. |
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01 May 08 - 02:49 AM (#2330338) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: The Fooles Troupe "We used to call these "pointless jokes"." We called them 'surreal' jokes... |
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01 May 08 - 07:10 AM (#2330440) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Pete I can't believe I've read the whole thread and not come across How many beans make five? |
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01 May 08 - 09:54 AM (#2330556) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Bill D If a hen & a half could lay an egg & a half in a day & a half, how long would it take a cross-eyed grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? |
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01 May 08 - 11:16 AM (#2330637) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: TIA Jim: Thaks for the link. Great book cover - I haven't seen it in years (buried in my Father's attic I think). Nice site. Thanks. I started the banjo way back when because Churchy Turtle played one. |
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01 Mar 09 - 12:39 PM (#2578613) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: JHW Find out at Saltholme, Seal Sands, Teesside at the new RSPB Reserve, free all March 09. There's lots of them, and most of them are different. www.rspb.org.uk/reserves |
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01 Mar 09 - 01:58 PM (#2578655) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Don Firth So I hear that the Folk Store in Seattle gets a new order of Generation penny whistles. The Generations come in both brass and nickel plated. The nickel plated ones are a bit more expensive. I walk into the shop and I say, "Do you have any penny whistles?" The proprietor says, "Uh—yes, but all I have are nickel ones." Momentarily confused by his response, I ask, "Do you have any for a dime?" It wasn't quite up to Abbott and Costello's "Who's on first?" but the other patrons in the shop thought it was pretty funny. Don Firth |
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01 Mar 09 - 03:27 PM (#2578716) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: VirginiaTam Why is the sun round? So it can shine in all directions. So a chicken and an egg are in bed, the chicken is enjoying a post coital cigarette and the egg says rather frustratedly. "Well I guess that answers that question." |
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02 Mar 09 - 01:07 PM (#2579428) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Liz the Squeak It's impossible to explain surreal humour to a 12yr old, when both are stone cold sober... LTS |
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02 Mar 09 - 02:46 PM (#2579519) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Don Firth The late Sixties. I'm at this party when a conversation on Zen-flavored Buddhism breaks out. Someone comes up with the old question, "What's the difference between a duck?" Most of us just chuckled and were prepared to move on when one of the guys there looked very serious and slowly intoned, "Man! That's really deep!" I think that kept him occupied for the next couple of hours. Or days. Weeks, perhaps? Oddly enough, beyond a few cigarette smokers, nobody there was smoking anything. Don Firth |
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02 Mar 09 - 03:52 PM (#2579596) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Gurney Right, Liz. Get the begger drunk. Guest Pete, my fathers answer was "one bean, two beans, a bean-and-a-half, and half-a-bean. Didn't understand it then. Don't understand it yet. I'm too literal-minded to appreciate surreal humour. I like humour. |
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02 Mar 09 - 11:03 PM (#2579932) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Kent Davis Q. How many pages is a banjo? A. Red, if elected. Q. Where is seven? A. Much less but already later than it will be. Kent |
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03 Mar 09 - 03:46 PM (#2580513) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Genie "It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide." (From Mad Magazine, IIRC.) And from my high-school days: Q: What's the difference between an orange? A: A turtle, because a vest has no sleeves. Q: Why is a mouse? A: Because the farther you go, the much. |
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03 Mar 09 - 03:49 PM (#2580517) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Genie Severn and Slag, is a bi-polar bear one that swings both ways? |
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03 Mar 09 - 03:55 PM (#2580524) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Genie Jeff P and Severn, Marlon Perkins had run-ins not only with anacondas but with venomous snakes as well. He was bitten several times by them and on one occasion nearly died from the bite. OK, now back to the important stuff. "Compare and contrast Rush Limbaugh." (Your answers?) |
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04 Mar 09 - 09:19 PM (#2581494) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Ravenheart "Compare and contrast Rush Limbaugh." Silence is Golden. |
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05 Mar 09 - 01:00 AM (#2581563) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Slag VT, That chicken should be arrested for clucking with a minor. I have never encountered a Bi-Polar bear and I don't believe Marlon Perkins OR Marlon Brando ever encountered a wild one. |
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05 Mar 09 - 11:13 AM (#2581801) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Pete Gurney. I'm afraid your father was mistaken. It's a bean, a bean, a half a bean, a bean and a half and a bean. Hope that makes things clearer. |
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05 Mar 09 - 11:47 AM (#2581833) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: jeffp I have now doubt. Marlon was pretty cool. But that anaconda scene reminded me of the old joke, "Get over here and help me let go!" |
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06 Mar 09 - 11:15 AM (#2582635) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,strad No. it's definitely two beans, a bean and a half, a bean, and half a bean. So there! |
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06 Mar 09 - 12:19 PM (#2582680) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Bill D "It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide." Genie...I also remembered that from Mad, but I did a search on it a few years ago and found that it makes sense in certain areas of Britain...to those of a certain age. Loosely it means something like 'it's ok to fool or trick a constable/policeman in certain situations' (I forget the exact formulation.) |
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06 Mar 09 - 01:37 PM (#2582747) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Leadfingers 'Its crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide' translates as t 'It is NOT a good idea to bribe a policeman with forged notes ' |
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07 Mar 09 - 12:54 PM (#2583346) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Genie Bill and LF, thanks for the translation. I'm not really surprised to find it's actual jargon (as opposed to jibberish, which Mad was wont to generate at times). Shows to go ya that when you don't understand the language it all sounds like nonsense (which Mad did/does like to use as well). I also realized that the answer I posted to the "mouse" question earlier was wrong. (Senior moment.) Q: Why is a mouse? A: Because the faster it runs, the much. Genie |
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26 Oct 09 - 02:38 PM (#2753037) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,sam can sum1 explain the why do mice spin in pairs 1? |
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26 Oct 09 - 03:10 PM (#2753069) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: VirginiaTam I might just get slammed for this. When is 1954? How is folk? |
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26 Oct 09 - 03:33 PM (#2753084) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: SharonA Pedant alert: The man's name was Marlin Perkins. Marlin, Marlin, Marlin. Sheesh. |
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26 Oct 09 - 04:35 PM (#2753143) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Jim Dixon My father loved to say to kids: "How big would you be if you was twice as big as half?" In college, I heard of one alleged exam problem: "Describe the universe and give three examples." The final exam in phys. ed. was supposed to be: "Extend yourself at arm's length by the hair." |
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26 Oct 09 - 05:08 PM (#2753167) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Bat Goddess Q - How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A - Bathtub full of peanut butter Linn |
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26 Oct 09 - 09:04 PM (#2753337) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Donuel Why a duck? |
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26 Oct 09 - 09:30 PM (#2753359) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: EBarnacle Actually Chico's pronunciation was "Vy a duck?" As far as "It's crackers to slip" Translation is closer to "You'd be a total fool [or totally insane] to..." |
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27 Oct 09 - 04:43 AM (#2753454) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GREEN WELLIES Whats the difference between a Bison and a Buffalo? Cant wash you hands in a Buffalo. (Its a Brummie joke) |
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27 Oct 09 - 07:33 AM (#2753511) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Ralphie Q. How many legs have donkeys? A. No legs have donkeys. |
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27 Oct 09 - 04:17 PM (#2753853) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Jim Dixon It is alleged that Abraham Lincoln used to ask people: Q. How many legs does a dog have, if you call a tail a leg? A. Five! Q. No, four. Calling it a leg doesn't make it a leg. |
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27 Oct 09 - 06:30 PM (#2753953) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Little Hawk The difference between a duck is what the duck wants as opposed to what he actually gets. ;-) And the same as with humans. |
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15 May 10 - 12:12 PM (#2907541) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Jimmy Q - How many apples in a barrel of oranges? A - A pair This works better spoken out loud... At school, we went through a phase of jokes like: Q - Why did the plane crash? A - Because the pilot was a tomato... |
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15 May 10 - 03:13 PM (#2907637) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: olddude What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool Bob |
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15 May 10 - 06:10 PM (#2907720) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Donuel Why a Duck? |
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16 May 10 - 07:54 AM (#2907935) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: banjoman recalled from childhood (first If it takes a week to walk a fortnight then how long will it take for a spider with no legs to crawl through a pot of Hartley's Jam backwards? Answer - A lemon Why a lemon? Suck it & see almost as bad as knitting kettles from steel wool as my mother claimed to be able to do |
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16 May 10 - 08:00 AM (#2907939) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Bonzo3legs Don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars! |
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17 Jun 10 - 01:15 PM (#2929936) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,KA What do you call a man with no arms or legs lying by the door? Mat What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on the wall? Art |
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17 Jun 10 - 03:03 PM (#2930021) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Georgiansilver What is the difference between an elephants arse and a post box????? |
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17 Jun 10 - 09:01 PM (#2930230) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: maple_leaf_boy Convenience store customer: "Do you sell pencils here?" Clerk: "No." Customer: "That's alright, I got a sweatshirt at home." |
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17 Jun 10 - 09:23 PM (#2930235) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Tannywheeler What fun. But I'm left with my original response: and what? I want to see the one about the elephant's arse & the postbox...Tw ( I know, I'm too nerdy...) |
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17 Jun 10 - 10:05 PM (#2930247) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: robomatic Q: How long is a piece of string? Q: How do you handle an elephant with three balls? |
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18 Jun 10 - 05:16 AM (#2930342) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Georgiansilver Tannyw,, the usual response when you ask someone the question "What is the difference between an elephants arse and a post box" is "I don't know!" or "Go on, what is the difference" then you respond by informing them that you wouldn't trust them to post your letter!!! |
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18 Jun 10 - 09:06 AM (#2930476) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Tannywheeler Many thanks, Georgian. Glad I asked. Tw |
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18 Jun 10 - 11:48 PM (#2930904) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: LadyJean Somebody told Chico, "You go across the viaduct." Chico, of course replied, "Vy a duck, vy not a chicken." |
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18 Jun 10 - 11:54 PM (#2930906) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Eiseley Even though the moon is only one-quarter the size of the earth, it is much farther away. |
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18 Jun 10 - 11:55 PM (#2930907) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Eiseley Why, when you see a formation of geese [or ducks] flying through the air, is one side of the V always longer than the other? Because it has more geese [or ducks] in it. |
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19 Jun 10 - 06:13 AM (#2930984) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Steve Shaw What have Jimmy Edwards and Lulu got in common? They both have moustaches except Lulu. (Crackerjack, late 60s) |
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19 Jun 10 - 11:38 AM (#2931076) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Neil D What's the meaning of life, the universe and everything? |
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20 Jun 10 - 01:14 AM (#2931355) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: The Fooles Troupe 42 |
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27 Jul 11 - 06:49 AM (#3196447) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Angryman What is the difference between a duck..............and my divorce lawyer? A: Nothing, they can both stick their bills up their arse. |
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14 Oct 11 - 08:56 AM (#3238848) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,Artibus Floss one you shoot, the other you do if someone tries to shoot you. DUCK is the national bird of Afghanistan |
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14 Oct 11 - 10:19 AM (#3238880) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Nigel Parsons 100, that's a century, Or a One & Two 'ducks' (cricket) |
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18 Sep 12 - 03:39 PM (#3406903) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: GUEST,mstaggerlee 30 days has September, April, June and No wonder, All the rest have Peanut Butter, except Pasedena, and they have the Rose Bowl. |
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18 Sep 12 - 03:55 PM (#3406916) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Don Firth . . . and a partridge in a pear tree. . . . Luther Burbank's been at it again. Don Firth |
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18 Sep 12 - 06:09 PM (#3407009) Subject: RE: 'What is the difference between a duck?' From: Georgiansilver What is the difference betyween a cops night stick and a magicians wand??? One is for cunning stunts! |