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BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one

30 May 08 - 03:57 AM (#2352734)
Subject: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Les in Chorlton

Sisters, Brothers,

We were sitting on top of Scarfell Pike, England's highest mountain, on the day after the fells had been re-opened after the foot and mouth outbreak. Hundreds and hundreds of people were heading for Scarfell and the day had an amazing atmosphere.

My wife pointed to a man reading a black leather bound book. Look - he's reading the bible! And he was. I had never seen Wainwright's Guide to the Fells in a leather cover before.

It then struck me that we had the potential for new religion:

1. A truly charismatic figure, well a bit anyway.
2. A Gospel - in several unique volumes and in widespread circulation.
3. Thousands and thousands of followers.
4. A sense of purpose and endless pilgrimage routes.
5. A discipline for life with sacrements - Mine's a pint of Black Sheep please.
6. Special clothes for the converted.
7. A genuine Awe and Wonder at the natural world.
8. Some sense of persecution - those fools in red socks etc.
9. A growing collection of sacred songs - I'm a Rambler, I'm a Rambler
10. Our Leader is now dead - that always helps.

OK 10 is enough - you are only allowed 10.

But Wainwright spent a lot of time wondering alone in the wilderness and I challenge any one not to find much "Truth and Inspiration" not forgetting "Awe and Wonder" in his "Guide to the Fells".

And the purpose of this religion?
Only those that read the Good Book - "Wainwright's Guide to the Fells" will find purpose and truth!

If you doubt that this is Folklore I will point out that Mike Harding, Singer and Tunist, Songwriter, Comic, Promoter of all thinks Folk, Ex - President of the Ramblers Association, chose for his book on Desert Island Disks none other than ..........................

............ "Wainwright's Guide to the Fells"


Before the inevitable splits and schisms begin I should mention that this will be an Atheistic Religion and it's second great book will be "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins

May your boots comfort your feet,
May your Goretex never leak
Although the path be long and winding
Awe and wonder you'll be finding

Les
The Retirement Home
Chorlton


30 May 08 - 04:09 AM (#2352739)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Newport Boy

Good one, Les.

I'm thinking of converting, but I will still have to rely on the Black Mountains for regular inspiration.

And would it be heresy if I said I was intending to enjoy the Peak District next week (and again in September)?

Phil


30 May 08 - 04:25 AM (#2352743)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Jack Blandiver

There's places of pilgrimage too, like The Coast to Coast fish & chip shop in Kirkby Stephen where The Curmudgeonly One would oft partake of our national dish. We sometimes stop there ourselves on our own Coast to Coast ramblings, albeit in the car whilst traversing the North Pennines from Granny's Bay to Whitley Bay, and there is almost an air of sanctity about the place, a particular Holy fragrance as though of an olfactory prayer, of myrrh or frankincense, or - yes! - chip fat & vinegar!   

Perhaps we might greet one other with the name of our scared deities, such as Bencathra; and we don't have to bother with making a website because it already exists: http://www.wainwright.org.uk/index.html

"There's no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing." - AW


30 May 08 - 04:38 AM (#2352751)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Paul Burke

I bet you were on Scafell, without the R. Have to get the names of the Holy Places right at least! Otherwise you get Mecker and Jerroosalum and Larzer and Roam.

A big problem will be preaching to the Heathen (and, of course, the Sheathen). It's all very well singing Go Tell It On The Mountain, but I can't see it going down in Great Yarmouth.

"There's no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing." - AW Appen. But the last couple of days, the appropriate clothing has been of brick and slate.

Newport... if you're anywhere near Matlock on a Friday, call in at the Barley Mow at Bonsall... it's been a bit ragged lately, but we had a couple of excellent hurdy-gurdy players last week, and songs and tunes from Hungary and Turkey to lighten the usual mix.


30 May 08 - 04:44 AM (#2352754)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Phil Edwards

the name of our scared deities

I quite like the idea of a cult that's so awe-inspiring even the gods are frightened...



(Yeah, I know. I learned the later verses of "American Pie" from a printed source, a long, long time ago (slightly before my voice broke), and for years afterwards I was singing
"And I went down to the scared store"
Seemed to fit, too.)


30 May 08 - 04:55 AM (#2352759)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Les in Chorlton

Phil,

as I am suer you know, although the good books take us to Cumbria, other Gospels take us to the Howgill Fells and the Pennine Way and so I think it is quiet safe to assume the truth path can be followed where ever the spirit (?) takes us.

Sedayne,

I thought this might chime with your good selves. Last time we visited Blencathra we met Mrs Bonnington who was on the way down although she didn't recognise us. I did try to launch this New Truth on the Wainwright website some time ago but I don't think people saw it as anything new.

Paul,

no R, how true just a test for true believers, ok it was early this morning and I cannot spell. How well the Hurdy-Gurdy fits. It's almost as if it was invented for AW is it not?

Well Sisters and Brothers we are on our way. How long to 100 hundred posts?

Les
The Retirement Home
Chorlton


30 May 08 - 05:09 AM (#2352766)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: glueman

Definitely old testament. Didn't like people, passes the word from his cell/bedroom in ornate cross hatching, seeks loftier perches than a stylite, favours inappropriate clothing, attracts the cantankerous. Him and Elvis gotta fight it out.


30 May 08 - 05:11 AM (#2352769)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Paul Burke

You need to sign up a high profile celebrity, though this one's spoken for apparently.

No R- is it possible that the Bible story got it wrong, that the Ark landed on Scafell? The rain there is usually enough to float a boat.


30 May 08 - 05:18 AM (#2352773)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: BanjoRay

Scarfell is the correct name - I know this because in 1994 I fell 400 feet on it, which definitely left a scar.

Ray


30 May 08 - 05:27 AM (#2352777)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Mr Happy

The 'Volcano God?', here:http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DSVVHrcTacw&feature=related


30 May 08 - 06:01 AM (#2352788)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Wyrd Sister

Also followers in his footsteps will eventually destroy all he held dear...we used to camp at Gatesgarth (foot of Haystacks) and went from 'is that a footpath up there?' to counting the gaps in the motorway traffic through the eponymous gates.


30 May 08 - 06:06 AM (#2352789)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Les in Chorlton

Paul,
I think you have identified "The Devil Incarnate" and I speak as one who once trusted him. Well, if Joseph of Arimethea could get to Glastonbury I don't see why the Ark could get to Scafell or as the Good Book Four, The Southern Fells have it "formerly 'The Pikes' or 'The Pikes of Scawfell', 'Scafell Pikes' on Ordnace Survey maps"

In general I was going for a decidedly egalitarian religion but I am prepared to go as far as Mike Harding so to speak.

BanjoRay,
you are a Maryr! Everything is falling into place. We are the fastest growing religion on the planet. Mathematically speaking this is almost certainly true.

Mr Happy,
that was excellent. I had forgotten how funny that was. I haven't luaghed so much since .............. probably the last time I saw it. So, as well as The Good Books we need other sources of truth and clearly Father Ted is one of the best. When in doubt or just short of something to do followers can go to UTube and be refreshed or possibly buy complete DVD sets?

Thanks
Les
The Retirement Home
Chorlton


30 May 08 - 06:11 AM (#2352790)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Les in Chorlton

Scary point Sister,

I think AW wrote somewhere in The Northern Fells - by coming we will destroy what we have come to enjoy.

So, what shall we do? It's a bit like motorists who want all other motorists off the road so that they can drive in peace.

I was all for a daft thread but I cannot resolve this problem. The paths are easy and safe because we tramp them in great numbers but I have to say that much of the time above a 1000 feet or so solitude is generally found though probably not always on Cat Bells.


30 May 08 - 06:11 AM (#2352791)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Jack Blandiver

BLENCATHRA          BLENCATHRA          BLENCATHRA          BLENCATHRA          BLENCATHRA          BLENCATHRA         


30 May 08 - 06:12 AM (#2352792)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Mr Happy

BanjoRay,

Re your tale of your fall from grace, don't you think there's a hidden warning implicit in the very name 'Scar Fell Pike?'

You 'Fell' down onto the 'Pike' & sustained a nasty 'Scar'??


30 May 08 - 06:15 AM (#2352795)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Mr Happy

More? http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=pwldGmw4yDo


30 May 08 - 06:20 AM (#2352798)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: glueman

Next census will it be Jedi Knight or Wainwrightian Ascetic? Didn't AW have some unreconstructed things to say about the poor and the oppressed? Or am I missing the point?


30 May 08 - 06:25 AM (#2352803)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Les in Chorlton

I guess it's inherent in religions that just as things are going well some one spots the feet of clay. His treatment of his first wife was not good either.


30 May 08 - 06:38 AM (#2352813)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: GUEST,Bob Coltman

I believe! I believe! Sometimes.

There. You now have your first backslider.

(On the scree and battling not to go over the edge.)

Bob


30 May 08 - 06:39 AM (#2352815)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: glueman

Dogs came out of it rather well and dumb animals generally. Saint Francis and Dr Dolittle have some competition at least.


30 May 08 - 06:40 AM (#2352816)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: John MacKenzie

Religion is a crutch for the weak, the ineffectual, and those who lack intestinal fortitude.


G


Mind you, decent fish and chips are hard to find.


30 May 08 - 06:41 AM (#2352818)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Les in Chorlton

Bob,

a simple visit to Orrest Head and all doubts will fall away but a pint of Black Sheep and a piece of Kendall Mint Cake will help


30 May 08 - 06:42 AM (#2352819)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Les in Chorlton

True enough John,

but this is a none-faith atheistic relgion, erm sort of,

Will that do?


30 May 08 - 06:44 AM (#2352822)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: glueman

Feargal Sharkey reckons it's a good heart. Maybe, but our butcher does a lovely bit of liver and tripe.


30 May 08 - 07:33 AM (#2352851)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: TheSnail

Do we actually have to do the walking or can we sit in a comfy armchair and read the book infront of a warm fire with a pint to hand? It would save wear and tear on the landscape.


30 May 08 - 07:40 AM (#2352855)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Mr Happy

Some pilgrims to 'Giant' Haystacks! http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=wcaSMXQv_8c


30 May 08 - 07:43 AM (#2352856)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Mr Happy

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DNWLDx53BgU

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=RGevCEOg4nA


30 May 08 - 09:15 AM (#2352917)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: GUEST,Bob Coltman

Anyway the altar, pews and general cathedral design can't be beat. And those steeples!

(The parking lot leaves a little to be desired, though.)

Bob


30 May 08 - 11:15 AM (#2353006)
Subject: RE: Folklore: Creating a new Religion? This is the
From: Les in Chorlton

Snail

"Do we actually have to do the walking or can we sit in a comfy armchair and read the book infront of a warm fire with a pint to hand? It would save wear and tear on the landscape."

Even AW himself gave in to this in the end, as I guess we all will but so much the richer for a little stroll up a pointy thing?


30 May 08 - 01:26 PM (#2353109)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Les in Chorlton

Fair enough, we survived up there for longer than I expected.


30 May 08 - 02:04 PM (#2353153)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Amos

Sca Fell.

Man, the things you learn on the Mudcat.


A


30 May 08 - 02:33 PM (#2353176)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Les in Chorlton

Exln Amos, apparently it always looks like that but when it rains it has to be in your imagination or memory


31 May 08 - 06:08 AM (#2353607)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Les in Chorlton

Sisters and brothers,

I urge to buy the (Manchester) Guardian today and turn to page 103 of the colour suppliment

Les


01 Jun 08 - 03:47 AM (#2354181)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Les in Chorlton

I need to spend time with his Good Books
And so
Les in Chorlton will ne Les in Keswick until next Saturday !

Cheers


01 Jun 08 - 03:09 PM (#2354514)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Doc John

A new religion to really qualify must have the following features:
1. Sex is wrong - especially the non-procreative variety - this is the most important aspect above all else.
2. Women are inferior or even down right evil (please don't complain - I'm only reporting)
3. Silly dietary restrictions
4. Silly dress obligations and restrictions - may only apply to clergy however
5. Lots of bizarre cerermonies
6. Magic - but only works if you 'have faith'
7. A book written by a supreme being or, at least 'inspired' by one. Can be full of sex, violence, racism etc - that's OK
8. Give us yer money!!
9 Don't mention Richard Dawkins
10 Pie in the Sky
All religions seem to have most if not all of these features
Doc John


01 Jun 08 - 03:19 PM (#2354524)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Peace

True, but never Sara Lee pie in the sky.


02 Jun 08 - 03:35 AM (#2354880)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: theleveller

Les, sounds like you've discovered the religion of Pantheism, which I love because:

a. It isn't a religion
b. It has nothing to do with Pan

Ha, that'll confuse the theists.

It does, however state that:

Are you searching for a path that focuses on this Earth rather than some imaginary beyond, that makes saving the planet its focus not saving your eternal soul, that respects individual choice rather than pushing prejudice down people's throats, that values reason rather than fanaticism?
    Do you find it impossible to believe in supernatural beings, and difficult to conceive of anything more worthy of reverence than the beauty of Nature or the power of the Universe?
    Do you feel a deep sense of peace and belonging and wonder in the midst of Nature, in a forest, by the ocean, or on a mountain top? Are you speechless with awe when you look up at the sky on a clear moonless night and see the Milky Way strewn with stars as thick as sand on a beach? When you see breakers crashing on a rocky shore, or hear wind rustling in a poplar's leaves, are you uplifted by the energy and creativity of existence?
    If you answered yes to these questions, then you will feel thoroughly at home in the World Pantheist Movement.


There you go! Persoanlly, I'll just go and sit by Fairy Calls Beck on the North York Moors and listen to the little folk (or should that be, A little folk?).


02 Jun 08 - 05:45 AM (#2354933)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Phil Edwards

Do you feel a deep sense of peace and belonging and wonder in the midst of Nature

If you feel a deep sense of belonging, you're fooling yourself in a big (or deep) way.


02 Jun 08 - 05:59 AM (#2354944)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Doc John

Wonder - yes. I'm always amazed at the way life progressively returns to land which has even been devastated by fire. I'm amazed looking up just what's out there.
Peace - hardly. I might get bitten, stung, drowned, hit by a meteor, struck by lightening etc.
Belonging - well I suppose I'm a living part of the universe, although a very insignificant one, at the moment.
Doc John


02 Jun 08 - 08:59 AM (#2355090)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Grab

1. Sex is wrong - especially the non-procreative variety - this is the most important aspect above all else.

When you're out walking, you can't be having nookie. (Mostly anyway - hillsides are usually a bit too breezy, and too full of thistles and sheep crap for romance.)

2. Women are inferior or even down right evil (please don't complain - I'm only reporting)

Wainwright wouldn't take either of his wives walking with him.

3. Silly dietary restrictions

Fish and chips? Not very silly though, I admit.

4. Silly dress obligations and restrictions - may only apply to clergy however

Red woolly socks. Walking poles. Shorts. Nuff said, I think.

5. Lots of bizarre cerermonies

Cairn building. Kissing gates. Greeting people on the path who you don't know and will never meet again.

6. Magic - but only works if you 'have faith'

Any walker who's not at some point thought "God, help me get up this bastard hill" is probably not trying hard enough.

7. A book written by a supreme being or, at least 'inspired' by one. Can be full of sex, violence, racism etc - that's OK

Inspired by nature?

8. Give us yer money!!

Wainwright guides, for sale in all good bookshops now.

9 Don't mention Richard Dawkins

Don't mention planning authorities, road-builders, hydro-electric schemes or mountain bikers.

10 Pie in the Sky

Pie in the pub- the best kind!

Graham.


02 Jun 08 - 10:38 AM (#2355165)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Doc John

Superb Graham!
Doc John


08 Jun 08 - 02:16 PM (#2360802)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Les in Chorlton

I return from Keswick renewed.

I am calm and cleansed with much Jennings.

The good books served us well except for a bad judgment of mine on the way down off Glaramara - from which I have learned much.

Sisters and Brothers ............... carry on carrying on.

Les back in Chorlton


08 Jun 08 - 10:22 PM (#2361086)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Rapparee

Pastafarianism.


09 Jun 08 - 12:09 AM (#2361115)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Art Thieme

Be sure to include, as so many of the others have, massive amounts of self deception and wishful thinking!


09 Jun 08 - 04:45 AM (#2361217)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Les in Chorlton

I can confirm that when we stood on Esk Hause and viewed Great End, Alan Craggs, Great Gable, Esk Pike, Bow Fell, Rosset Pike, Pike of Stickle, Harrison Stickle and promised that we would return many times and climb them all "massive amounts of self deception and wishful thinking" were about right!


09 Jun 08 - 05:18 PM (#2361769)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Stringsinger

"I quite like the idea of a cult that's so awe-inspiring even the gods are frightened..."

We have one here in the US. It's called the Republican Party. It elected a sociopath for president.


09 Jun 08 - 11:11 PM (#2362014)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Riginslinger

One thing that has puzzled me for a while now: when the black folks of Jamaica figured out that the British slave drivers were using Christianity to control them, they formed a new religion, Rastafarianism. Wouldn't "No Religion" have worked out better for them?


09 Jun 08 - 11:35 PM (#2362026)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Peace

Think of the sacraments, Rig.


09 Jun 08 - 11:57 PM (#2362031)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Little Hawk

Rig....

Everyone has a religion. It's just that some people aren't aware they do, that's all.


10 Jun 08 - 07:06 AM (#2362162)
Subject: RE: BS: Creating a new Religion? This is the one
From: Les in Chorlton

Rginslinger,

"One thing that has puzzled me for a while now: when the black folks of Jamaica figured out that the British slave drivers were using Christianity to control them, they formed a new religion, Rastafarianism. Wouldn't "No Religion" have worked out better for them?"

I think another interesting point point is how Black People in the US embraced Christianity in a similar context. I suspect that Slave owners would not countenance African Religions but they could hardly oppose Black Christian Churches which became centres of resistance.